CRITCRAB PLUSH OUT NOW www.makeship.com/products/crit-crab-plush

@plinko-moss

2 жыл бұрын

Crab

@LasagnaQueen

2 жыл бұрын

King Crab now introducing; King Cute :D

@insertname4929

2 жыл бұрын

plush is doing so well, nice!

@MitteyTheWolf

2 жыл бұрын

I'm going to commit Crab Rangoon. Priceless.

@danny089-theodeoron4

2 жыл бұрын

Dude that story... Thankfully i was drunk but I felt nauseous when you told it... by the way I'm new sub, I like your stories, they discourage me every day from seeking DnD groups to play with hahahaha... just kidding, but seriously... incest much? AAAA! And your question "if he and his mom got married would she be called a gife or a wom?" Me: NO.... just NO! (Girly screams heard down the corridor as he tries to escape the Matrix)

"Time spent having sex is time wasted not holding up a bank." Rango's got their priorities straight.

@pedropalito7117

2 жыл бұрын

sigma grindset

@alyssinclair8598

2 жыл бұрын

I have never felt love for an rpg character I'll neither play with nor play like this before

@scyobiempire4450

2 жыл бұрын

Quotes to live by

@professeurgideere5856

2 жыл бұрын

You mean, Rango aced up their priorities.

@Crocogator

2 жыл бұрын

@@professeurgideere5856 ayyyyy

“oh man that’s bad, but i’m sure that’s the worst of it and i’m positive it will get b… why are there 12 minutes left.”

@Calebgoblin

2 жыл бұрын

Hhorshfjgjk I KNOW

@tnexus13

2 жыл бұрын

I've just hit that point. What on earth am I in for?

@thecasualaussie3990

2 жыл бұрын

You good sir are preaching to the choir

@kanekikingstorm2113

2 жыл бұрын

I got more concerned when I saw I had nine minutes left, and Crit is like “if you thought that’s the end, it’s not.”

@WobblesandBean

2 жыл бұрын

HOW DID IT GET WORSE

“Until GM shouts, ‘AYO!’ and starts running.” Wise man - That’s the kind of guy you want to be with in a horror film. Cuz if this doesn’t count as absolute horror...idk what does...

@spectralumbra1568

2 жыл бұрын

There need to be more horror films where someone just walks in on something terrifying, says "nope," and just walks away. Roll credits.

@loturzelrestaurant

2 жыл бұрын

@@spectralumbra1568 RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

@josephwilliams2406

2 жыл бұрын

My man's was like, bruh we need to go

@alexvalentine5091

2 жыл бұрын

12:17

@DAsrada

2 жыл бұрын

Well yeah. They were having D&D with Norman Bates.

OP: "I'm calling her Jocasta from now on." Everybody Who Has Studied Greek Myth: *feeling that Thanatos is looming over your shoulder*

@unluckyone1655

2 жыл бұрын

I literally paused the video when i heard that. I still remember going over that play in highschool and i was hoping that that nickname was NOT warrented. But alas, even hope was not enough to cusion my psyche from that blow

@pwnorbepwned

2 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile, I had to envision his mom looking like Jocasta Nu from Star Wars. W H Y .

@Mandalore-The-Chef

2 жыл бұрын

@@pwnorbepwned same

@dprice1291

2 жыл бұрын

*me hearing the name Jocasta*: Ha, that's still a little harsh. Sounds like a spoiled child with behavioral issues, not incest. me, two minutes later: .... Oh.

@Undeadsloth94

2 жыл бұрын

@@pwnorbepwned You're not the only one.

"I'm going to be calling her Jocasta from now on" Me who's read Oedipus Rex

@Mahrac126

2 жыл бұрын

How the hell did I miss that reference.

@stevemeisky8409

2 жыл бұрын

Right? Like, I hear that, and I think "that is way too specific a nickname to be a coincidence...please be a coincidence...aw hell."

@KnicKnac

2 жыл бұрын

Me who has Psychology degree and knows terminology lost my lunch lol

@unluckyone1655

2 жыл бұрын

My lit class covered that play back in highschool, knowing that reference still didn't properly prepare me for what came next

@ThePhantomSafetyPin

3 сағат бұрын

"Jocasta, where do I remember that name fro- THERE IS IS D:"

"i'm going to commit crab rangoon" And im now spending 10 minutes cleaning the cola spew from laughter from across my monitor!

@freyjablue.

2 жыл бұрын

That got me too 🤣

@davidegaruti2582

2 жыл бұрын

i don get it

@badgerwijohnson4081

2 жыл бұрын

@@davidegaruti2582 Crab Rangoon is an American Chinese dish, a cream cheese won-ton with crab meat and green onion. So I believe the crab is implying suicidal thoughts. BTW I love crab Rangoon, its awesome.

@Kintaro316

2 жыл бұрын

@@davidegaruti2582 Crab rangoon is a food. It would be the ultimate form of Sepaku for a crab.

@WobblesandBean

2 жыл бұрын

I was taking a sip of water when I got to that part. Ow, my nose 😂

That "Ayo" was fucking perfect 😂

@illiterategoose104

2 жыл бұрын

For real no better reaction to that

@darwinjones2059

2 жыл бұрын

I know they were playing 5e but that reaction was straight out of Call of Cthulhu

@Calebgoblin

2 жыл бұрын

"the DM, thinking quickly..." Yeetus deletus

@AF-tv6uf

2 жыл бұрын

I could, at that point, imagine the actual freakout and wild flight that followed.

@LittleMountain90

2 жыл бұрын

"Motherfucker, we out!" except literally

OKAY the time GM said "AYO!" I fucking laughed, I love how the party just bounce the fuck out and ran for it..I LOVE IT, I JUST LOVE HOW THEY ALL KNEW TO NOPE THAT FUCK OUT!!

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

YES! I LOVE how the team came together there. Fully supporting each other, problem solving, and just acting like absolute ROCK STARS.

@ashannahensley3288

Жыл бұрын

If they were ever in a horror movie, you know that group is the probably the only ones that'd survive.

As an artist illustrating every session our group plays, AND using a "sort of anime-ish style".... I want to punch Edgy's player in the mouth for giving us artists a bad name :(

@Eli_Guy

2 жыл бұрын

Same, mate

@hatcatmoby8893

2 жыл бұрын

I have a very similar style. Regardless of whether or not it's for hentai, you do NOT base it on real people without their consent! You do not cross that line!

@injetavel279

2 жыл бұрын

It's actually a pretty common style, I don't think one weird dude will give it a bad image

@CogSpartan

2 жыл бұрын

Burn your supplies except for the paper, take up origami. This is the safest way not to draw edgy snogging his mom

@Jonboy2312

2 жыл бұрын

@@CogSpartan Ew. Nope, not going there! Sure, Tales From the Tables is all about poking at D&D tropes, sometimes making fun of cringy players too, but that's WAY too far. There's nothing funny in this, it's only cringe. And that just doesn't make for a good comic...

A crustacean talking about neck beards is just what I needed this morning

@johnnewton8897

2 жыл бұрын

I thought the same exact thing when I saw the title of the video lol

@TheseUseless

2 жыл бұрын

He is a crustacean. But neck beards are crusty and obsessed with asians. Crustyasians.

@hemberger91

2 жыл бұрын

The crustacean sensation sweeping the nation

@grumpycranestudio1475

2 жыл бұрын

Stranger spitting facts.

@heyitsbob4575

2 жыл бұрын

P 0

I love you Rango. Idk if Rango is ace, but the “time spent having sex is time not being spent holding up a bank” line makes me wanna claim them

@ceoofgrilledcheese3299

2 жыл бұрын

Ope, I kept listening, and turns out, that was the intention. Love the representation Rango

@scyobiempire4450

2 жыл бұрын

I'm using that line. Not in game, in real life. Easy to explain to people who don't get that I'm Ase.

@dionysus-sama6338

2 жыл бұрын

My boy got his priorities in order

@Stefisgarden

2 жыл бұрын

Yup, hella ace vibes from that line, and I love it!

@jaderade4662

2 жыл бұрын

Idk, Rango was also kinda cringe and a problem. Not as bad, obviously, but still pretty bad.

Ok as a NSFW artist, two rules are paramount. Never draw minors and ALWAYS make sure the person is comfortable with their character or themselves being drawn. You NEVER draw suggestive content without permission. Rant over.

@laineydoodles9297

2 жыл бұрын

Amen! I'm also an NSFW artist and I would never ever do that to someone.

@dr.stronk9857

2 жыл бұрын

Gotta be the most respectful nsfw artist I’ve heard of

@Evilriku13

Жыл бұрын

but.. most NSFW artists dont ask companies to draw their creations with consent. Like, over 90% of all NSFW is about not asking say GameFreak, Nintendo, SEGA and so on to give out an "ok" to draw their characters in various positions and state of nudity 👀

@redlikeroses1062

Жыл бұрын

@@Evilriku13 There is a huge difference between a character made by a multi-million dollar corperation and someone's personal original character. People care so much about their characters and many times, parts of that person are put into that character. A company as a rule accepts that people will do what they want and has a massive audience. It's like saying teasing Jeff Bezos for being bald is hurting him. It's not, he's a billionare who doesn't know I exist. If I said that to a person I know, it would feel like an attack. Does that make sense?

@danielnelson3136

Жыл бұрын

Good rules to follow, although just don't commercialize NSFW or be a NSFW artist at all is already going to prevent most awkward situations in the future with people. If you have to, do all that in private.

"I'm about to commit Crab Rangoon" may very well be the greatest phrase uttered on this channel. :D

@jonathangordon1457

2 жыл бұрын

I wanna see fan art of that

@cam4636

2 жыл бұрын

@@jonathangordon1457 Just as long as you don't demand he poses as your model...

@TheSpellwright

2 жыл бұрын

@@cam4636 jonathan here just wants to capture the highlight moment of the sess--er, video.

CritCrab: "Mentaly put youself there." Me: "No."

Critcrab:"Put yourself there at the table" Me:"AAAWWWW, HELL NO"

@DAsrada

2 жыл бұрын

DO NOT SHOWER AT EDGY'S PLACE. Hear those strings?

@hostiusasinhostilityhostil7853

2 жыл бұрын

AYO!

As soon as I heard “I’m calling her Jocasta” I knew exactly where this was going and it felt like a horror movie, just waiting for the inevitable.

That was far more intense than I was ready for lmao. When the warning about incest came I was thinking incest in someones RP or some shit. But nope. Just literal real life incest.

@jaysonklein6018

2 жыл бұрын

POSSIBLE incest... or just an older woman indulging a weirdo's Mommy fetish... Either way... weird.

I absolutely love that gm's reaction was just "AYOOOO 💀"

"Time spent having sex is time not spent driving a bank" Well, I appreciate the work ethic.

- BUT MOM SHE DID NOT SEND NOODZ! - We have nudz at home, silly. - But mom... those are... those are yours... - Exactly. I would love to believe this story is not real. I will pretend so at least for my own safe sleep.

@solouno2280

Жыл бұрын

I think that edgy had been sexually assaulted by his own mother all his life.

Horror story aside, the fact that op called one of the players “mouse” despite her playing a Goliath is just kind of cute to me fkgkdkfngnxvjdg

@robert-janthuis9927

2 жыл бұрын

His naming in general was just amazing.

@davidkoudelka10

2 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of Minsc and Boo grom the Forgotton Realms setting, a giant barbarian with a smol hamster!❤🤣

@nobodybroda3826

2 жыл бұрын

Considering your name...I got nothing cleaver.

@ayf449

2 жыл бұрын

We all want the things we don't have.. to short people who keep getting teased for their hight.. yeah a damn giant i will be thank you very much

@theghostcreator776

Жыл бұрын

you could say they were an... iron mouse

When he called Edgy's player's mom Jocasta, I knew this was gonna take a bad turn.

Crit crab is like an A&E show doing the whole "Scared Straight" program, but for D&D. 10/10

@loturzelrestaurant

2 жыл бұрын

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

11:20 Me listening whilst doing 3D designs; "Heh, what an overly protective and enabling mom." King Crab: "-Kiss between lovers." Me: *Flips the 3D ship alongside the Viking girl I am making* "W H A T?!"

@thegrandxbunny2073

Жыл бұрын

RIP boat.

@Str8jacket192

8 ай бұрын

RIP Viking girl

Ah yes. The Oedipus player. Minus God complex. Multiply mom... ew. Also, this little mission impossible plan was excellent. XD

@daddyernie2289

2 жыл бұрын

i bet his little brother/son is the cyclops that lives in the attic

@Nerobyrne

2 жыл бұрын

not really, considering Oedipus had absolutely no way of knowing that he married his mother. That's kind of the whole point of the story. Just another thing Freud got wrong in his long list of things.

@robert-janthuis9927

2 жыл бұрын

@@Nerobyrne I mean, a bit of common sense would have probably prevented the whole situation. The old king of Thebes just so happened to die a couple of days before Oedipus shows up, as a stranger, about the age that the son of the old king and queen would have been had he not been exposed after his birth. There was a prophecy about what would happen. In fact, there was a second prophecy about the old king getting killed by his own son which was the reason for Oedipus being exposed in the first place. Prophecies in Ancient Greek Mythology ALWAYS come true, it is literally impossible for you to escape them.

@Nerobyrne

2 жыл бұрын

@@robert-janthuis9927 the story is designed to illustrate that, because he was sure he'd escaped it. STill though, this is a really bad story to pick in order to illustrate someone loving their own mother. 1. He only married her because he became king 2. He never sought out to marry her. in fact, he travelled to a different city to AVOID doing so.

@littlebitches

2 жыл бұрын

@@Nerobyrne all he had to do was marry an older woman

Edgy: *Whines to his mother* Me: “Oh boy, is this going to be like that story with the edgelord who-“ Edgy: *Gets a kiss from Jocasta* Me: “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! Story’s over. Over. Done. Kaput.”

If edgy would've raised more red flags, stalin would've come back from the dead

The GM just booking it after shouting "AYO" is such a damn mood

“you’ve finished reading an RPG horror story, please roll 5d20 to see how much psychic damage you take” “5 nat 20s”

"So far this sounds pretty gross but not abnormal for-OH GOD WHAT?"

Imagine calling for your mama because you got rightfully told that drawing a real-life woman naked for very erotic reasons is wrong. Also, bro I thought I've heard worse from Den of the Drake horror stories of creeps/neckbeard, this is on a whole new level of disgusting that I pray to if there is a god that this is fake

@screm1471

2 жыл бұрын

critcrab has the funny/sad stuff covered, dotd covers the stuff of nightmares

@ascendingfire8404

2 жыл бұрын

Not just wanting to draw a real life woman nude, but *demanding* naked pictures of said real life women performing sexual acts as "references"! Fuck, what a disgusting prick.

@bee5440

2 жыл бұрын

@@screm1471 this is 100% true

@jaysonklein6018

2 жыл бұрын

This is true. The story of Grimey the Neckbeard still rings in my ears.

"I'm calling her Jocasta from now on . . ." Me: Uh-oh!

@matthewa.whiting719

2 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness, I just got that joke 🤣. Oh man, 12th grade English memories are flooding back...

@superphantom100

2 жыл бұрын

What am I missing what the relevance of that name?

@datspud_6036

2 жыл бұрын

@@superphantom100 that is the name of Oedipus' mother.

@jamesgaston2745

2 жыл бұрын

King Creon does not approve

@camnunes8847

2 жыл бұрын

@@datspud_6036 oh no, I remember that story. Okay for those who dont know of the infamous myth. A guy named Oedipus was outcasted by his parents who ruled a kingdom calles Thebes as a baby because of a prophecy that foretold the child would kill the dad and marry the mom. So the baby was raised by a king and queen from a neighbor kingdom. When Oedipus is a man he meets an old guy when heading to the city of Thebes because the Oracle tells him to. Afterwards Oedipus heads to Thebes and saves the city from a Sphinx. He is declared king and married the recently widowed queen Jocasta. Uh oh. Years later Oedipus has e kids with Jocasta. But a short while later the man who dropped off baby Oedipus at the other kingdoms confesses the truth. Oedipus was son of the king and queen, Jocasta's son. Disgusted by the horrors of the prophecy coming true Jocasta kills herself and Oedipus stabs his eyes out. So no he didnt marry Jocasta with the knowledge of her being his mother, but it's still disgusting

"Put yourself there mentally." *insert Family Guy vomit scene*

When you say "neckbeard dwells in his mother's basement", they normally don't mean THAT basement. Also, "snog"? I think this lot might be English, snog is one of our words.

@aiodensghost8645

2 жыл бұрын

True, but some people in the US also use it

@cristiaolson7327

2 жыл бұрын

Can confirm: "snog" has definitely crossed the pond (thank you British TV, movies and KZread creators). We had long been two countries divided by a common language, but the internet is bringing us back together...

@716monk

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah but no one from an American education system is making Jocasta reference

@cristiaolson7327

2 жыл бұрын

@@716monk Oedipus Rex is required reading for sophomores.

yeah... this guy is a victim... I mean this "relationship" probably started after a long grooming process, I mean the guy was "the child" at some point, I don't know how it started, and I don't want to know, but it is very likely that it happend after the mother chose to have it with her son, then again, I don't know, not a specialist in the subject, but still, one is the parent, and the other, at least at some point, was the child... Also... think about how this whole thing would have gome if it was a father with his daughter...

@cam4636

2 жыл бұрын

What even is this comments section, yes if that's the guy's mom he's definitely a victim, and also yes that doesn't excuse his creepiness to any other person

@AbstractTraitorHero

2 жыл бұрын

@@cam4636 It does make it more sympathetic and means he should get therapy immediately, but that's it.

@Lyntle

2 жыл бұрын

This explains things possibly, but it doesn't excuse it, you are right. Though this also opens up the door of this guy depending on his age could be lashing out in a sexual nature because of the way he was treated and groomed. That and that he needs therapy. It also leads to that woman being an abuser and we don't know if she works around other children or has access to them and needs to be investigated. It is very hard for someone to break from an abuser and manipulator.

@unlimon6382

2 жыл бұрын

If you are taught to kill through abuse and you kill someone you may be a victim, but there is still someone dead lol even if he is a victim he deserves to be held accountable

@hostgamerunner6133

2 жыл бұрын

@@unlimon6382 accoutnable for what? being a creep? What else do ecpect him to become? An outstanding member of society? Plus there's no mention of murder in this story what so ever, this story, and the majority of the coments, are all directed at him being a creep, yeah, he most definitely is one, but if that woman is his REAL mother, he was probably raise in a grooming fashion, he's posts on "twitter" about the "wonders of incest" is probably how his MOTHER groomed him, how SHE twisted his brain, and used his natural sexual impulses, into turning him into her sex toy. Again accountable for what? the group fled, the computer was returned, and yeah, sadly the player was sexually harrassed in a a very unpleasent way, that should NOT have occured, and is unacceptable that it happened, but it's more likely the MOTHER's fault

THIS IS WORSE THAN I IMAGINED, NO CRAB RANGOON WILL EVER GIVE ME BACK MY APPETITE

@pulsefel9210

2 жыл бұрын

Ya...I wake up for work, need to get some food, listen to this.... maybe not right now.

in cases like this it's almost always the older person who is to blame, and the younger who is the victim. However, it's not really possible to say without some serious therapy, which it seems unlikely they're going to get.

@cam4636

2 жыл бұрын

Uh, yeah, I would hope "In the case of your mother r*ping you, you're not the one to blame" is something intrinsically understood

@benry007

2 жыл бұрын

@@cam4636 yes it sounds like his mum really messed him up

@Nerobyrne

2 жыл бұрын

@Naukumaija Mau-mau exactly, cases like this IMO need to go before some kind of court psychologist to examine what's really going on here. But there should 100% be court involvement, relationships like this are never healthy. Or legal.

@loturzelrestaurant

2 жыл бұрын

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

@Nerobyrne

2 жыл бұрын

@@loturzelrestaurant that is probably the worst comment to do that under

"As people of the internet, we're no strangers to-" Fam you missed an opportunity to _m e m e_ on us

@B-Roll_Gaming

2 жыл бұрын

You know the rules, and so do I

@superphantom100

2 жыл бұрын

@@B-Roll_Gaming you wouldn’t get this from any other guy.

@valhalanguardsman2588

2 жыл бұрын

@@B-Roll_Gaming say goodbye

I love how his response was " ayo" and yeet out

I almost spat my tea when I heard the poster naming Edgy's mom "Jocasta".

I love when CrtiCrab gets irate. "I'm going to commit crab rangoon" I'm dead. EDIT: Wtf this story is nuts. The DM's response to the situation is top notch though. I want more gaming stories from this group, they seem hilarious.

@WobblesandBean

2 жыл бұрын

That needs to be used more often. In an awkward situation? Just yell "AYOOO" and run like heII 😂

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

I, too, want more from this group. This team is EXCELLENT! Absolutely TOP-NOTCH! And now that they have defeated the BBEG, just think of what they can do, moving forward!

The moment OP said it was a full kiss, my immediate thought was: "Run. Run now. Run!" And then GM shouted "AYO!" and booked it and relief washed over me. No. Just. No.

"I'm calling her Jocasta from now on" Me, knowledgeable about Greek myth: :"Oh fuck." "There's gonna be a Part 2" Me: "A WHAT"

Can we get some RPG glory stories as a much needed palate cleanser? Because this was a lot to process.

@loturzelrestaurant

2 жыл бұрын

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

To be fair, the way that team handled the situation practically IS a glory story!

@solouno2280

Жыл бұрын

Try goggling Noh or Oogie

Critcrab: "Put yourself in that situation mentally" Me: Out the window I go then

@henryhere

Жыл бұрын

Ahh yes, the ol' self defenestrate tactic

Didn't you mean:" As people of the internet we're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. " :)

@pabloabadgonzalvez3798

2 жыл бұрын

Damn, what a Rick Roll XD

@thayenryan7448

2 жыл бұрын

I was thinking just that!

@MagicalMedic

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed! I wouldn't want to hear about D&D from any other guy!

@scyobiempire4450

2 жыл бұрын

_Say goodbye!_

The most generic rogue. Hmmm. "He stares at you with his doll like eyes and says nothing." Something like this?

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

OMG! I remember that story. GROOOSSSSSSS!

“If this story doesn’t do a 180 I’m going to commit Crab Rangoon” was not a joke I was expecting to hear today

ngl this guy might already have his own Kiwi Farms thread.

>things have gotten a little more criminal. busy rn but i'll update as soon as i can thats fucking ominous

calling the mom jocasta was OP doing the text-only equivalent of when horror movie soundtracks pick up but you don't see anything happening on-screen

Literally listening to this at work, and when I got to that point. Literally walked away paused the video, and then started saying, no no nope this is some Chris Chan shit. My co-workers are very confused

@user-qd8pb2xq7j

2 жыл бұрын

I literally watched this vid after part 11 of Chris Chan documentary. Wasn't sure the vid switched properly.

Damn, i didnt know chris chan played DND

@houstonhall1144

2 жыл бұрын

I know right?

@MartinBlackArcano

2 жыл бұрын

Chris-Chan is Shaun Murphy next to this disgusting piece of work.

"Edgy liked to draw"... I see where this is going already... oh dear lord no

"I'm going to be calling her Jocasta from now on" My mind: I'm in danger

GM did really well handling a crisis. Even if it wasn’t conscious planning, rather than letting the other party take any sort of initiative post kiss, they got everyone out before any further interactions could happen.

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

I know, right? The GM, and the entire team (minus Edgy) were AWESOME in how they handled this. They had a plan of attack to initiate a conversation, in the first place. When that went south, they stuck together and got out, then supported each other, problem-solved, and handled it with compassion for Mouse, and the utmost care for her and Rango's safety, just... I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH!

Edgy is one deeply disturbed person, and definitely needs help. He's armed too? OMFG!

"Edgy's player liked to draw" Oh no

@AuntLoopy123

2 жыл бұрын

Heye, no. My niece likes to draw, and she is sweetness, itself. Art is not the red flag, here.

Damn! This was something else... Man I have honestly no words for what just happened... Wow... Btw always glad to see more videos from ya CritCrab!

@CritCrab

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@oldsoldier4209

2 жыл бұрын

@@CritCrab I’ve read, and listened to, a lot of RPG horror stories. I thought I could handle anything, especially if it was deemed acceptable by a KZread reader. I thought wrong. Please, for all that’s holy, DO NOT update us on this story. I’m going to go shower now, as just listening to that has made me feel contaminated. 🤢

CritCrab: "Mentally put yourself at the table." Me: "No, thank you!"

i died laughing on "passionate lovers" I'm so sorry but crab's reaction to this is PRICELESS, thank you for making my night less mundane.

Edgy thought he was Sephiroth and turned out to be Chris Chan. Yeah, I said it!

"She had amassed a harem that stretched across the continent." Ah, a true Bard. I salute such a legend

I really hoped this wasn't going the way I thought it was despite the incest warning and then as soon as I saw the mom was being referred to as Jocasta I mentally locked down for what I knew was going to be the most vile story on this channel so far

Ah yes, more content from our crab overlord

Ahh, I finally get to a video while it's still warm, so now I can finally show our Crab King true gratification and hope that he sees this comment. I love your videos man, and I love the content that you post aswell as the jokes you make through out the video

"I'm going to call her Jocasta-" *pauses video, swallows vomit, mentally prepares, hits play*

Okay, the thing about Edgy wanting to draw the characters having sex as part of his tradition of drawing eventful stuff from the campaign, that really freaks me out. For the campaigns I play in, I draw eventful scenes that happen in our games. I never draw anything that I or anyone else would be uncomfortable with, and I even ask others if there's anything I should change or remove completely just in case. Luckily, most of my pictures are fluff and the most "explicit" my drawings have ever been was when one of our player's characters woke up to find he now had a tail after spending the night with a mushroom fairy. Don't ask me how THAT happened, mostly because my brain is still too fried from that moment to figure it out. But, to sum it up, I never draw ANYTHING that would make us uncomfortable or that goes against people's boundaries. So, after hearing about how this freak took this habit we both apparently share (I'm disgusted that I have ANYTHING in common with this insane lunatic), I'm rather on edge both with discomfort and rage. Now, I want to make clear that, no matter the skill, you are not a true artist if you cannot read the room and make art that violates people's rights of humanity. There are legendary works of art that have crossed such boundaries, but they tended to have more of a message to them other than "sexy because I can". There are lines that just MUSTN'T be crossed, and this freak defiantly crossed them. If someone were to ask me for nudes for their "artwork", you can bet that I wouldn't take that request lightly. Especially not helped by the fact that I am asexual and have very strict boundaries regarding such things about myself. I'd have probably eventually slapped Edgy if he kept demanding nudes from me for his art and rage quit the game right then and there if I hadn't already from all the other weird and awkward stuff he pulled earlier. Consent is highly important in the artworld, and I follow that rule to the T.

Critcrab, my good arthropod, this has been the most nightmare-inducing tale you have ever told. I will not sleep for days because of this. This is not the kind of story that calls for a mere content warning, this calls for warnings for possible demonic possessions and may require warnings in the state of California as this is the kind of thing that may cause cancer. I believe the SCP Foundation would also like to know the location of everyone who's read or heard this story for memory modification after interaction with an euclid-class cognitohazard. Please seek an exorcist at your earliest convenience just in case this has summoned up some new inner demons for you.

"Rango always said that time spent having sex was time not being spent holding up a bank." Every ace listening: ❗️❗️❗️

Are we really sure this story didn't take place in Alabama? Like the way Edgy is acting and that "part" with their mom really, REALLY, makes me feel like this is taking place in stereotypical Alabama

When did they start playing D&D with Chris-chan?

@brendanblanks4438

2 жыл бұрын

I was looking for this comment. Thank you, I can continue my day now. :)

Hmm, when i saw the title what i thought was going happen was that he called his mom who then forced this group of adults to do whatever it was the guy wanted. I think i was assuming your typical bad dnd behavior, overpowered homebrew, whining to get his way, etc. Definitely was not expecting what happened though. I guess, since nobody knew him before the game started, the moral of the story is to stay away from strangers...and maybe don't take the hot asian chick to the stranger's house. Dude probably had a basement all ready to go for her.

@wolfgamer8770

2 жыл бұрын

What if you just moved and everyone locally is a stranger. How do you make friends.

@DeathIsLethal

2 жыл бұрын

@@wolfgamer8770 that's the neat part, you don't. You stay in your basement cave with your hoard of dice and miniatures, shun the outside world.

@clericofchaos1

2 жыл бұрын

@@wolfgamer8770 online...better yet just don't move.

... That really got out of hand pretty fast. I'm gonna crawl back to my dark corner in your ceiling. Don't look at me, I'm scared.

The rest of this group that isn't reenacting Oedipus sounds like an incredible group of people and I so badly want to hear more of their in-game stories

I don't agree with having a preference for Japanese or any other type of woman being some terrible thing, but everything else was fuckin wild

@krampusklaws2238

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed, we all have our preferences. To say it's a bad thing is pretty racist tbh, like we can't express interest in another ethnic group?

@hypethekomodo6495

2 жыл бұрын

@@krampusklaws2238 Think it's safe to say this particular individual took it past a 'preference'. 'Obsession' seems like a more fitting term, and yes, that is a bad thing.

@kurosakikun96

2 жыл бұрын

@@krampusklaws2238 unfortunately there are those out there that think that kind of preference is "sexualising" the race, making it racist due to being treated as "stereotyping", the irony in how said people don't recognise that that mindset is technically segregation

When Crit mentioned incest early on and the title is "Neckbeard Calls His Mom On Our Group, And Things Get Weird", I thought I was ready for what's to come. But I wasn't.

@solouno2280

Жыл бұрын

None of us was

May I join you in that crab Rangoon? Maybe we can make some hungry peasant happy while we put ourselves out of our misery. Time to go and gouge out my mind's eye.

"And this is where the real story begins" is one of the most threatening things to hear almost 10 minutes into a 22 minute video.

11:40 Oh, so that was why she was named Jocasta (I thought it was something along the lines of her son causing her a lot of suffering and her not realizing, like Edipo indirectly caused her mother to die, but, I didn't expect it to go that way).

At that point, you have two potions; flee in terror or ruin their moment and make it awkward for everyone. Yell "hurry it up cleopatra!" At them while they snog

"im going to commit crab rangoon" that fucking sent me

Sweet home Alabama, this is what's going on in my mind.

Even Chris Chan didn't have the audacity to ask Megan for references

The classic, "OK, maybe it's X so it's not as bad as we think it is" brain bleach. Oh OP, it's probably exactly what you think.

TLDR: When critCrab says "This is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read", I shouldn't start having dinner. 🤮

The water fully covering the bottom is the equivalent of a screensaver hitting the corner of the monitor

I love how you show empathy while still calling out bad behavior. We need more people like that.

Holy shit they managed to get on the same dnd table as Chris chan 😳

Me: Well, all of this is really bad... probably it's the weirdest story in this chanel. CritCrab: "Things have got a little more criminal." Me: Oh my.

“I’m going to commit crab Rangoon.” Might be one of your best bits yet.

If I had to go by the Funny-Cringe-Glory-Horror chart seen in earlier videos, this would DEFINITELY be VERY DEEP horror and VERY DEEP cringe

The second the OP named the mom "Jocasta," I was all, "No way...it couldn't be..." Holy shit. It could be.

I don’t even play D&D but I’m completely addicted to these stories…just remember what Nietzsche said about staring into the abyss, Critcrab. Keep up the good work.

@solouno2280

Жыл бұрын

Oh, the part most atheists trend to skip, right?

"... this may just go from a silly rpg horror story." "Silly" isn't the word I would personally use to describe this.

I always love your uploads - not only your voice but then always some story to take my mind of off things

Rango is a fantastic movie go watch it if you haven't.

11:30 NANI!?!?!? Ok what kind of Alabama houshold is this!? At that point just just pick up your stuff and gtfo of there!

this entire story is an emotional rollercoaster, where i spent the majority of the reading in absolute horror, thanks for sharing :")