Everything is backwards...what is bad is called good and what is good is called bad. We are in trouble

@arnoberner124

Ай бұрын

We are always in trouble.No trouble is a standstill,useless for further Transformation.For every Transformation you pay with Pain(trouble).For me to the point ‚that every enlightenment (which Sems to come for free )can‘t be real.So then discarded.

Yeah my narcissistic husband is like that he wants me back for revenge.. And for his envious desires for me

Sam, I’m really quite rattled by how you’ve hit the nail directly on the head in regards to the unfolding of my “marriage” and the discovery that there’s a high probability that he’s an undiagnosed narcissist. I’m shaken by how you described the lack of romantic jealousy, how averse I was to him being near me, how indifferent he was and how he was so abusive in the ways he acted out that he literally must’ve forced my hand to dissolve the marriage. Those are just a few examples of your eerie accuracy. Was I brainwashed? I was not the kind of woman who ever thought I would lose the “idealization” of the man I chose to marry. I clearly see how I played into the toxic dynamic, but how did he get me to do his bidding without my knowing. I know they say narcs are like being in a cult with brainwashing. Is this what happened? Do narcs literally hypnotically or subconsciously put their targets in a trance? I literally felt like I woke up and saw him for what he was. This is so intriguing and frightening to me that there are people walking among us who can manipulate you like an insidious puppet master. I know you’ve briefly touched on entrainment, but is this the key?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Search the channel for vids on cults.

@dawn6232

3 жыл бұрын

Sam Vaknin ok, thank you

@shatteringthemask1871

3 жыл бұрын

Dawn, I could have written your question myself. That’s exactly how my marriage has been and 12 years he had me blinded and conditioned to overlook so many things that were missing in our marriage. I too feel like I just woke up and can’t unsee him for who he really is. We have five children who are now changed forever because of this selfish animal.

@jamescarrigan3294

Жыл бұрын

​@@juliehazlett6749 😅😅

@williamehrbright3625

Жыл бұрын

Happens to the best of us. Especially empaths from "complex" childhoods

So much can be learnt from you. Endless knowledge. We so lucky you are speaking out to us mere humans

Yes I agree morals have become very loose almost null & void it seems today.

Social Media is responsible for a lot of changes in society. We can't continue this much longer without totally destroying ourselves.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

videotranscripts.dk/ (Transcripts) kzread.info/dash/bejne/lqGMxcyvfJy8g8Y.html (The True Toxicity of Social Media) kzread.info/dash/bejne/n2dsuZqgnNy5d9o.html (Malignant Egalitarianism) kzread.info/dash/bejne/aqCWrqyvh5Pcaaw.html (The Need to Be Seen) kzread.info/dash/bejne/gnyu2a-FqJDYe8Y.html (Plugged-in Documentary) kzread.info/dash/bejne/qWamrdSQfrrRg5M.html (How to Fix Social Media) kzread.info/dash/bejne/mH15zqOLmrWthNI.html (Social Media as the Big Eye)

@marim7784

3 жыл бұрын

@@philipp.5419 it's sad. We are becoming like zombies, robots.

@michaelavilliers-kendall8854

3 жыл бұрын

All of this was going on long before social media, (I know), we just didn't all know about it or share it.

@TheNaughtyBarberess

3 жыл бұрын

@@marim7784 the antidote to becoming zombies is to constantly explore oneself, know who you are and insist on speaking your truth, showing up as who you are n not worry about how you're being received because all that is is a mental fuck.

this has been very helpful, The envy which my partners have manifested has finally been explained.

@dw1-norskgaming923

3 жыл бұрын

Some are so cruel...

I am dealing with a covert narcissist. However, looking at definition of schizoid, sounds a lot like me. Interesting! 😯.....If you have schizoid personality disorder, you may be seen as a loner or dismissive of others, and you may lack the desire or skill to form close personal relationships. Because you don't tend to show emotion, you may appear as though you don't care about others or what's going on around you.”

@calibvr

2 жыл бұрын

I'm just Withdrawn from it all. I don't need anyone else, time and time again I've been shown that. They don't matter and I'll win on my own.

Fanstastic video. You just condesced my (useless) BSc Pyschology that took me 4 years and $$$$ to get and then forget. Thankyou for such great content, Sam.

@awpetersen5909

17 күн бұрын

BSc?

i dont get why u keep saying u r ugly... i think u r not . ...in fact ur good deed of educating ppl on narcissism makes u good looking.

@randideelancaster9904

Ай бұрын

I have to agree, I idk if I find the accent attractive or his brain,

Very potent. You confirm and elaborate on subject matter which has tormented me, experientially, emotionally and intellectually for so many years, Understanding is empowerment, and empowerment is freeing. Thank you! ( Here's a little "sugar" for you; this is the first comment I have ever bothered writing on KZread. You're Welcome. hehe :) )

@faithnomorr

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the same and SV is also the first person I’ve ever bothered to leave a comment. He’s been a lifeline.

Thank you ! This is so hard to truly believe someone who shows emotions says words so beautiful and yet you hit every point and I allowed it 6 years . He met me after I lost my daughter and everything else I owned . I look back and wonder how can I go forward and make sure not to re attract this or ill not survive . I don’t understand how come they don’t see the extreme change in personality or how they break up come back and repeat over and over with zero blame . Just horrific for all

I wish I would have known this when he first discarded me. I could have quietly cut the ties and left. My children would have not been so traumatized.

Thank you for this.

Do you feel the fast pace of the world has affected the mental state of man?? I think it's hard to find the time to feel your feelings and think them through and to look inside yourself in order to understand why could be part of this growth as we evolve but I really can't say truly that could be. I can only wander or speculate. Wow as I was typing this you just touch the subject of withdrawal & culture etc. Interesting. I love learning with you

You are a genius, love you.

Ring Trilogy... 😅 thank you for the laugh and I enjoy your videos

A really good book that I think you can get the basics from of Early Childhood Développement paralleling the influence of the Planets. A interesting study of Inner-relatedness! Was this book called "Taking the kidgloves off of Astrology" Metaphysics /Psychology together

I can't thank you enough. From Nigeria

Sam After 5 years of listening to you On this topic of which I was in a bad relationship, you have made me laugh hearty, when you said these names should be criminalized! A scholar like you able to make a joke about self no it is even hard for you, makes the rest of the world laugh! Thanks!!

Loss of supply.

professor of finance??? ooooooooooo do you have videos on how narcissism affects their partners finances? I can also tap into my scavenger hunting skills and find it 🤓🤙🏻

In watching this, instead of finding answers as to why the man I love is the way he is (I got that also), I realised that I am at a very high risk of becoming a loner and rejecting objective relations, preferring to hide from reality and conversing with fantasy, imagination and introjects. I am safe in my bubble. And this has become more prevalent as I have gotten older (I'm 39), yet, I remember that I was like this as a child and teenager. Becoming a teen mother and being abandoned by the father, followed by an emotionally unavailable partner, then a relationship with a codependent male which made me detach, then getting back years later with the same emotionally unavailable partner, who I had idealised in my head throughout the 7yr relationship with the codependent. I think I detached from the codependent due to him being too present, too available. Too much reality. Preferring to interact with the idealised emotionally unavailable man from my past. This in turn, led me to spend the 7years with the codependent, living in a fantasy world in my head, with the idealised man of my past, with stories and narratives and scripts of what life could look like. I was running from reality... This led me to eventually ending my relationship and pursuing the external object of my introject and of the fantasy movie that was in my head. Holy shit, light bulb moment! Anyway. Fast forward to that man proving he didnt live up to the introject and movie in my mind, he ended up abandoning me. Said my "love was to much and to much pressure for him to live up to" Desperately trying to hold on to him as he pulled away, I became obsessive, manipulative, self harming. When I used to believe I was capable and strong. It isn't a complete shock to then become involved/attached to a narcisiscistic person. Which has what has brought me here.. This man is not from my country. We haven't met. Yet, we were always talking, making future plans to be together when the border opened. I stopped going out and socialising, have not had any male contact or intimacy in over 2yrs, preferring to interact with the movie and fantasy of our life together once we could finally be together.. I then became obsessed with trying to "fix" him and save him. Subjecting myself to massive emotional and psychological abuse. My reactions to this, over time, eventually became just as toxic and almost feel like I became psychopathic at times (Factor 2) No wonder I was the perfect candidate for a narcisiscist person. I identify with the same darkness... What the hell does that mean for me?? Am I a narcisiscist? How do I remove myself and join the real world when the real world terrifies me?? I didn't have an abusive or neglectful childhood so why am I this way?? If I had, I could perhaps understand myself better. But I didn't.. so why am I like this?? Am I Borderline? I don't think so, because I'm not promiscuous or overly impulsive. I'm more overly cautious and afraid to do much in case I'm hurt. Need therapy

Your point on cultism is well taken. What you have observed in these so called gurus and public speakers such as Joel Osteen, the pastor here in the US, is that the fawning followers are not able to think for themselves and god forbid if you were to disagree with such a popular figure. There purpose ultimately is to extract money and emotion from us to keep on their upward tragectory. This is why I have a problem with the dogma of the church.

Dr Vaknin, how would a narcissist view his/her identical twin -- as an "internal" object, or external person, or...? And would that change depending on whether the twin is also a narcissist or not? Thank you!

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Narcissists view everyone as internal objects. Easy.

@EM-vn5iv

3 жыл бұрын

@@spiningtree Very interesting. I've noticed different manifestation where one twin has had a steady relationship for years, whereas the other jumps from woman to woman constantly. I'm curious about the source of difference and how each twin sees the other one. Both seem to be somatics who get along with each other really well.

@EM-vn5iv

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin Thank you. I should have phrased my question differently. Would the narcissist behave toward his twin in the exact same way as toward other people (e.g., would he feel envy, or see the twin just as another source of supply)? Thank you.

As someone who loved narcissists, I tried to undo the attachment after discard by hooking up with young men who were somewhat capable of being present. This way I was able to stay attached to the narcissist somehow. He knew I was doing this during the relationship and during the hoover and didn't care. When you have NPD its seemingly so sad but they dont feel sad or unfortunate.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

To undo the attachment and to stay attached somehow? I don’t understand. You were hooking up after the discard or during the relationship (=cheating on him with his knowledge)?

@heidiposner9498

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin I was trying to give you some insight on what the lover of a narcissist might feel. I consider myself an inverted narcissist based on your research. The lack of sexual connectivity while suffering a trauma bond is excruciating. Making love to someone who you feel is not present. As you point out, the lover will go to other men as a way of breaking the bond. But the sex with these other people served to enforce my connection with the narcissist. I had hook-ups while we were together at the end before discard. Then I was hoovered and began the hook-ups again. Again served to enforce the bond. The narcissist was told about the cheating while we were together and said he didn't want to hear about it and that he might be jealous if he allowed himself. It is called a bond, but in fact the lover feels like they share organs with the narcissist. Thats how I would describe.

Why is it that law doesn't recognise the insanity of these people that causes so much problem in the society ! What do u think!!?

Great listening to you as always. Wow is my response as usual. Question, At the present rate of narcissist and psychopathic growth I can't work out a breaking point where everything collapses into oblivion. Is this trend to change with knowledge that you so gratefully give insight into or do you see it running out of control way beyond what it is today? Is their any hope of a change for the future or will it just have to run its course and die out like a virus. There must be a point I would think that this knowledge will spread like mad and action taken against it but then again if the population is infestated like a virus then who could that happen. Would it be possible to address this point in you lectures in the future. Where are we really going. Would love your take on this. Much appreciated if you would share your insight on this matter. I'm sure you would have much to contribute on this subject with you expertise.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info

@brianwilson5426

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvakninthanks, that's great. can't thank you enough. Lots to go through. You are magic.

Does one know when s/he is interacting with internal objects rather than external?

@jenj3299

Ай бұрын

They only interact with internal objects from what I remember from previous videos

Haha "the eff off factor"

Sam, have you watched The Vow on HBO? Curious to hear your analysis and digest of it, particularly Keith. Special episode?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Haven't.

@Snow-wz6eu

Жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin I would like to hear about Keith too.

"The fact that we have chatted, spoken, corresponding, gives you no right to sleep with me (60's-70's). The fact that you slept with me gives you no right to write to me or chat with me (nowadays) " 😂 It's funny but so true!

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

I don't find funny. I find it horrifying. I find it even more horrifying that there are people who find it funny.