I went from thinking he’s a terrible person to feeling sorry for him. Financial anxiety and depression is real

@BboyRacing

Жыл бұрын

When you have someone next to you who isnt on the same page is even worse.

@skaziblu

6 ай бұрын

​@@BboyRacingyou missed it.. he's creating a home that's hard to win in. Nothings good enough

@Zoooooooooooo

5 ай бұрын

How would you even think he’d terrible

@backyardhooper06

5 ай бұрын

​@skaziblu how? The wife ain't pulling her weight. The wife blamed him for their suicidal daughter. Why can't he be frustrated with his wife?

@brandyk

5 ай бұрын

​@@skaziblu I don't think we missed it. There are many ways to see this situation and we don't have all the details. John has his way of reading it but he too is far from an expert and I'm sure he would acknowledge it.

I think I get what he is TRYING to say. I grew up dirt poor and I've really built something amazing and my husband is just racking up debt and acts like he could not care less. It's overwhelming.

@cutehumor

Жыл бұрын

dr. balony would say you are the problem hahaha

@NoneYa-pg6dk

Жыл бұрын

i think a lot of us understand the frustration. i'm in the same boat, always trying to save my husband's problem. during the process of healing, i realized I wasn't allowing my husband to be an adult and take responsibility of his mess. i slowly backed off from his problems and i guess i was giving him too little of the benefit in the past. he's becoming more and more responsible. i don't believe we'll ever hit utopia, but i like what i am seeing so far. best of luck to you.

@texan903

Жыл бұрын

Cut off your husband's spending until he reins himself in. Give him an allowance. Anything beyond the allowance should call for a discussion. Limit his credit and debit cards. If necessary, have him take a Lyft or Doordash route.

@alstroemeria227again4

Жыл бұрын

My husband built something and he’s constantly getting himself in trouble with debt because he wants more. And I bail him out.

@cathy7824

Жыл бұрын

Cut him off. I've been you, it's not going to end well. If he loves you he'll get on board with you because he cares about the family.

This guy even gave me anxiety listening to him!! But damn what actually lies beneath him makes completely sense, feel sorry for the dude. Hope he finds peace

@daCubanaqt

4 ай бұрын

Me too. He cannot properly communicate and sounds a bit depressed. He is anxious because he doesn’t feel supported, but doesn’t know how to say it. I feel bad for him and his wife. They need to learn how to talk and compromise. If they can’t, then they need to move on.

@soulanstreets222

4 ай бұрын

It's not that he doesn't feel supported...it's that he feels anxious because his wife doesn't feel the same thing he does. He's not actually being honest with her that he's struggling with anxiety and feeling anxious about it. So when she rightfully says that things are financially solvent, he thinks she's dismissing him when in fact he's not really expressing what's going on with him. She's not a mind reader. If the budget is in the black or green...why would she pretend as if it's in the red? @@daCubanaqt

@not-even-german4892

3 ай бұрын

He can fully communicate however he wanted to lie

@suds9365

2 ай бұрын

@@not-even-german4892??? What?? When??

@TASmith-ou3is

2 ай бұрын

10 yrs to finish a bachelor's?

Being home with 4 kids is NOT a summer vacation

@sherriflemming3218

2 ай бұрын

Exactly. That's a full time job. Unpaid labour. Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

@J-B-P

2 ай бұрын

I agree with you, but to play Devil’s advocate, he said “summer vacation” because she works at a school and the kids all go to school for the majority of the year. The July-August break from school is commonly called summer vacation.

@christinaburkemper3105

Ай бұрын

The collective at home parents GROANED when he said she just sat around all day with a range of toddler to teenager all summer with kids. How dense and disrespectful can you be as a husband!

@user-rj1hz4sg8r

Ай бұрын

Womp womp life they choose

@johnspence5689

Ай бұрын

I didn’t know a vacation meant you just get rid of your kids for the summer

Man I’m just 22 not married or anything and these episodes are therapy even for me

@oroville12345

Жыл бұрын

Don't get married it's a big scam just hear this caller....

@khanhcao3123

Жыл бұрын

Run man. They are not worth it.

@jshepard152

Жыл бұрын

Stay single. Most women are a financial and emotional burden.

@oroville12345

Жыл бұрын

@@jshepard152 facts My rule is if her credit score is below 850 she's not Worth it.

@luisfernando5998

5 ай бұрын

@@oroville12345if her body count is greater than 0 then that belongs to the streets

Man I went from thinking this guy was a tool to feeling so much empathy for him all in about 6 minutes. People are really complex and you cant just look a the surface emotion man. This was so eye opening

@sarahalderman3126

Жыл бұрын

Yeah more like the opposite. He’s off his rocker. Thank goodness shes finished school because she’s going to need it. That man is a tool for certain.

@runnerupcsal8241

Жыл бұрын

Honest question here what does "this man is a tool" mean? Whats a tool in that context?

@atreyuXx2

Жыл бұрын

@@runnerupcsal8241 tool in this context = jerk

@fabiolatorres4020

Жыл бұрын

​@@runnerupcsal8241 an idiot.

@fh1980ram

Жыл бұрын

​@runnerupcsal8241 it means that he's a jerk.

Wow, this man is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders! God please give him the wisdom and the strength to be the person he needs to be.

@debbielockhart7762

8 ай бұрын

I thunk he's creating a lot of stress for himself. He really needs to chill a bit. I got a knot in my stomach just listening to his anger. His wife sounds depressed to me.

@thabsmkhize2481

4 ай бұрын

@@debbielockhart7762 I really felt for this man too. I think I have more drive than my fiancé and I won’t lie, sometimes it worries me. The work ethic, courage to follow through with goals and discipline to be financially responsible. All you want is for your partner to pull their weight. That’s all. And I sympathise with this man.

@avvery8593

3 ай бұрын

@@debbielockhart7762 thats like saying depressed people are making themselves sad. Trauma of your daughter being assaulted can result in anxiety and anger, just like sadness does.

@danielasartor8229

3 ай бұрын

He's carrying the weight of a family that has too many kids and a wife who feels entitled

@IMBLESSED-oe6dl

2 ай бұрын

Being around him do u blame her? Lol

Shout out to all the dads/ husbands out there providing for their families for 30+ years and never complaining about it once.

@katemiller7874

9 ай бұрын

Absolutely.

@cookinsteve9281

8 ай бұрын

I’ll take “Humans That Don’t Exist” for $500. You want a slave to stand around and absorb all the bullshit, not a husband. Communicating is very important.

@grreeeeee

8 ай бұрын

they always complain about it. they take it out on their wives and kids in weird ways and everyone resents them. being vulnerable is the only way to be a good dad.

@fishincognito

7 ай бұрын

Yep. Real men

@watermelonlover745

6 ай бұрын

​@@cookinsteve9281they do exist.

My blood pressure went through the roof listening to this call. I can't imagine how tense I'd feel living in that home. I hope for his family's sake he finds some peace.

@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots

Жыл бұрын

His wife is 90% of the problem

@shannon2740

Жыл бұрын

@@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots how do you know this? She works full time. Has four kids and has been a part time student on top of that for 10 years while having 4 babies during that time

@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots

Жыл бұрын

@@shannon2740 let's examine the statements just for starters. I think "part time student for ten years" says a lot lol. You can read my full comments in the comment thread. This woman is bad news.

@Halaria13

Жыл бұрын

True that

@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788

Жыл бұрын

@@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots I think you are right mate. Even if we consider that having 4 babies while working and "studying", let's say we take a year per baby, that's 6 years to complete 60 hours. That's 10 hours a year! She might have mental health issues and finds life overwhelming. She needs help. Something is not right with the wife. She didn't work during the summer even though "they" are paying debt. She's not supporting him. However, listening to this man, I know he's a lot. He probably comes back home all frustrated already and pays little attention to the kids. They both need a reality check.

This guy is stressed and burnt out. He must feel like he’s drowning. She’s taken 10 yrs to get her bachelors degree but she has 4 kids and he works a ton of hours so she most likely takes one class a semester to balance all of her responsibilities. I don’t think that means it’s not her dream career. This poor man needs to save his life and get intense therapy to heal his trauma 🙏

@tomoates8568

Жыл бұрын

@SOUL SEEKER Yup, I'm alone at 30 and my life is great lol. Nothing but peace. The most stressed out and mentally unhealthy portions of my life have been when I was in relationships

@kellharris2491

Жыл бұрын

4 kids in 10 years while getting a degree is very hard. And she works fulltime.

@randykinder2736

Жыл бұрын

@@kellharris2491 excuses.

@AshleyLebedev

Жыл бұрын

@SOUL SEEKER it’s not about want. It’s about need.

@pb-gv1nc

11 ай бұрын

😅 9:42 😅😅😅😅😅 9:42 9:42😊😊 9:42 9:42

with 4 kids, she's definitely not just sitting at home all day watching TV

@kyleelawson3029

2 ай бұрын

trust dawg, she is. -her step daughter, unfortunately.

@DirtySouth69

2 ай бұрын

Bahahaha. The oldest is 15 lolol. Who you think is doing the house work?

@Bethelgal42

2 ай бұрын

Definitely not. I have 4 kids between 10 and 5. Unless that TV is Disney Plus and Bluey, she isn't watching TV all day.

@Pfffffddddj162

2 ай бұрын

@@kyleelawson3029sorry you were doxxed in this episode. Confirms that this podcast doesn’t respect anonymity enough.

@kyleelawson3029

2 ай бұрын

@@Pfffffddddj162 well yes but at the same time my dad is the one who told me to watch these. why? no clue. but he did lmaooo

I think wifey is taking a beating. Not everyone is capable of earning 60 credits in 1 - 2 years while raising a family, holding down a job, taking care of a home and husband that is on the edge

@raflim

3 ай бұрын

10 years

@suds9365

2 ай бұрын

If it took 3-4 years that’s understandable but 10 YEARS??? It’s perfectly unstable why he’s upset

@dy9278

2 ай бұрын

@suds9365 Money, energy, and time considerations come into play when you are currently putting in overtime plus for two jobs.

@rheinhartsilvento2576

2 ай бұрын

​@frleaks6482 You didn't listen: she already IS working as a teacher's assistant or whatever - all school year.

@frleaks6482

2 ай бұрын

@@rheinhartsilvento2576 summer job

Healing is contagious. As he gets better, he’ll start seeing a side of his wife that he’s never seen before. This episode was deep.

@Kermit46

Жыл бұрын

The wife is lazy and trash. He needs to divorce her

@BboyRacing

Жыл бұрын

But she still needs to get up and contribute to this marriage. I feel him. Ive been there unfortunately.

@somethingclever8916

10 ай бұрын

Most people dont want to heal. It's easier to blame other and be a victim. As long as being a victim is profitable (financial, emotional, attention) some will stay a victim until the day they die. And probably carry that into the afterlife

@TrishDigginsDesign

9 ай бұрын

@@BboyRacingwhat more? She keeps four kids, a full time job, and went to college while doing all that. I don’t see how that’s doing nothing. It may not be what he wants - should she get a second job to pay for daycare for the younger kids while the teenager(s?) runs unsupervised and wild during the summer?

@ORSkie

3 ай бұрын

​@TrishDigginsDesign right?! She's been swamped, with a judgmental man telling her that everything she does is worthless.

We really need to hear from his wife. Her side of the story.

@catherinenelson4162

Жыл бұрын

We don't really, because this is their marriage, not a spectator sport. The person who does need to hear both sides would be a counselor - one they both go to.

@hansonallie

Жыл бұрын

The fact that it’s on a universally accessible podcast certainly opens it up for us listening to speculate! 😅 Not saying it’s “woke” but hey 🤷‍♀️

@franziskani

10 ай бұрын

We did hear. Between the lines. That man completly denies her contribution. And on top calls her lazy.

@ImCantuxxx

Ай бұрын

@@catherinenelson4162lmao you mean going to a certified idiot ? Lmao they get paid to hear your bs lol take they’re paycheck away and they wouldn’t give a F which means it’s a waste of time it’s joke a scam grow up and solve your own problems if you go to counseling your WEAK and a CHILD toughen up and figure it out

@littleme3597

Ай бұрын

@@franziskani Bingo. He didn't have 3 kids from his body.

Mom is taking care of FOUR kids, works, cooks, cleans, car pools, doctor appointments. Dads have no idea how much time and effort this takes. His issues are more within him than what his wife is doing

@evanl889

Күн бұрын

She doesn’t work. He even said that. She goes to school during the school year and takes the summers off. She also took 10 years to get an 18 month degree.

@reeseerhardt7052

Күн бұрын

@@evanl889 men don’t understand the amount of work it takes running a house and being responsible for 4 kids

His story does not add up. He complains that she doesn't work, but then states that she works in a school and then she looks after the kids during hols.

@ceewng5042

3 ай бұрын

Works, 4 kids, getting a bachelor's. Sounds like work to me. I laughed when he claimed she watches TV all day. That sounds not possible.

@brendondowdy5651

3 ай бұрын

Selective hearing. He also said shes been working on this basic degree for 10 years lol making 0 money

@americanart2003

3 ай бұрын

I’m confused with that as well

@kalikiller1771

3 ай бұрын

She's not working during the summer because she's a teacher. My friend's wife works at a school the seasonal money puts more stress on him.

@philp7648

3 ай бұрын

He said she works at the school but clearly said she refused to work this last school year i guess u didnt catch that

I actually like this caller. I totally understand the feeling of financial fears. I respect my husband’s feelings and anxiety about money. We go over a budget together and set boundaries and I want him to feel like he has a help mate not a dead weight.

@skincareceo

Жыл бұрын

I feel like you're the only person who got it right, he's the ship, but his wife should be the anchor.

@JKNat9004

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, I got the feeling he has a strong work ethic and intends to be a provider, but he wasn't seeing the stress his wife was going through at the same time.

@HALFAMAZINGTV

Жыл бұрын

@@JKNat9004 If all things are considered, the we should take into account the fact that the wife is NOT supportive of his financial concerns as he expressed in the call. She doesn't have a sense of urgency, which is what men of his caliber needs. she doesn't need to be the breadwinner, but follow through on your goals and be understanding when the husband has some concerns regarding the future of the family.

@jacobwiebe1460

Жыл бұрын

@@HALFAMAZINGTVexactly. I could easily look past the fact that it took her more time to get the bachelors degree. But no 7 times as much time. So he may be burnt out and frustrated, but she is most certainly not helping the situation at all. She’s only laying it on thicker. I get where he’s coming from.

@ChristianOne

10 ай бұрын

I agree about how she could help with budgeting and everything. But I grew up with a stay at home mom and THAT was her being an anchor for the family and anyone who thinks raising 4 kids is "not working" has lost their mind. I find it absolutely INSANE the expectations that are put on women these days. My dad ADORED my mom and HAPPILY and GRATEFULLY paid for everything. It was his JOY to spoil my mom...surprise her with new clothes, dates, flowers, meals out, dancing, new housing etc. Put all the kids in FULL TIME daycare for the summer and see how much that adds up to...she is contributing AT LEAST that much. Now hire a maid and a cook for the summer. If she is not a 100% slob/hoarder/non-cook.... Then she is doing those jobs at least part time. Add those part time salaries up...she is doing AT LEAST that much of a contribution. I bet it adds up to WAY more than 40k per year that he CLAIMS he would be so happy with. Then add dealing with a rage filled, anxiety riddled, unappreciative partner...that can literally make a person sick to be around. Yes, they need to VALUE each other, and help each other...and find solutions without blame. If he couldn't support a family/childcare then why in the heck did they decide to have a family? What do men think providing for a family MEANS???????

She's popped out 4 kids while in school and working also. How many spare hours in a day does he think she has?

@SandraStachowiczLtd

Жыл бұрын

Enough to watch soap operas all day long in summer time lol

@franziskani

10 ай бұрын

@@SandraStachowiczLtd We have to take his word for it. he obviously does not participate in daily chores and has no idea how much time it takes. And: If he ever saw her folding laundry while the TV was running, that was her "watching TV all day long".

@WesM757

5 ай бұрын

​@franziskani No he is an adult, before he got married and kids. He washed clothes, made his own meals. Listen to what he says... He comes home with a dirty house... If you can take the wife's side you should also take the husband's side also. 10 years for 6 credits is insane. They are drowning in debt and she thinks they are fine with 50 bucks in savings. 4 kids and parents... 50 bucks!!! He should have never had children with this women. You are screwed.

@sharroon7574

3 ай бұрын

Yeah, it's a lot to ask from a woman. It makes me sad what some people expect from women with children, especially 4 of them.

@debwinkelman762

3 ай бұрын

He isn't getting any that's his problem, o and he sounds like a b****** instead of helping

I love how you ‘weasel’ out the REAL deal of what’s actually going on. This went from “my wife thinks I’m a cash cow!” To an absolutely broken, hurting, husband & father, who is working so hard on the outside but needs so much more on the inside. And his daughter now at age 15, NEEDS her dad more than ever and it sounds like she’s testing him to see if he will reject her and prove that she’s the worthless human that she thinks she is. He needs some regular date nights with her, so she knows he’s her safety zone not her deserter!

@kyleelawson3029

4 ай бұрын

hi i am the daughter in question. i just wanted to make it clear that i NEVER once blamed my dad. i actually blamed his wife and my own mother. now i realize there is no one to blame but myself. i love my dad and i will never understand why he thinks i hate him 😕

@nathanroark3339

4 ай бұрын

This women is a loser and sometimes I don't think john truly understands how women sometimes suck and they always seem to side with the wives and girlfriends even when they are clearly wrong

@johnmcmanus2447

4 ай бұрын

​@kyleelawson3029 I hope you're doing better now, Kylee. I've had those thoughts too. I never acted on them, but I thought about ending it as well. Just know you're loved. Wishing you all the best

@soulanstreets222

4 ай бұрын

He probably thinks that you hate him because he's blaming himself. If you have your own children some day, you will understand what it feels like to have such an unimaginable amount of love and affection for a small being that you helped make, and watching that being grow up under your care. He is your father....and he might feel guilty because when you needed protection the most, he was not there and he feels responsible for that. He might feel as though he failed you. He mentioned a letter you wrote him when you were 12...and from his perspective, all those feelings you put in that letter reaching out to him, seeking him, might have felt to him like it was confirming that he couldn't protect you. When you tried to delete yourself...twice....he felt responsible because he couldn't' protect you. Now he probably hates and resents himself for it...because like he said on the call, he doesn't know how to reconcile those feelings and recognize he's not at fault. @@kyleelawson3029

@kyleelawson3029

4 ай бұрын

@@soulanstreets222 i understand that 100%. but i didn’t ever write a letter to him. i don’t know why he says i did because i didnt. i remember being asked to write one letter to all 4 of my parents and thats what i did. but i know he hates himself for everything that happened and it sucks.

This was a great call. Digging into the caller’s core emotions instead of harping on her behavior was interesting to see unfold.

@Magroot0914

2 ай бұрын

I agree. At first I wanted to call that guy an a-hole and then it kind of broke my heart.

This is one of the best moments I've seen on this show. That man truly had so much self discovery. I had a feeling Dr. John truly helped him change his life on this call

@bettysmith4527

Жыл бұрын

Maybe if he would take a break from relationships he would have found himself a long time ago!

@taraalbarran

Жыл бұрын

I sure hope so because he sounds like a real piece of work… kind of made me wonder about the ex-wife being an “emotional terrorist”

@patray162

Жыл бұрын

This guy's first call was to blame his wife for his daughter's su*cide attempt, on the radio, the day after it happened. The day AFTER.... He had not made an effort to talk to his daughter. He had not made an effort to find out WHY or HOW she got to that point....he called into the radio, to moan to strangers for attention, and he LOVED it. I don't know how he found time SO QUICKLY to get on a public airwave and triangulate his child's tragic circumstance to paint an evil image of her mother. It made me so sick at the time that I recognized his voice immediately and couldn't believe I had the misfortune of hearing it again. Listen to him mention her attempts on this call. It sounds like she did it AGAIN since he first called in, and he can still only think of himself. He's not a father. I'm glad she knows that. The only explanation for his daughter's su*cidal depression that he could give was them being home together during the pandemic, which had been "hard" on him. Hint, hint...HIM... And when he calls in this time, he describes their prior interaction as being about his wife being an "emotional terrorist" with a chuckle rather than mentioning any kind of a family struggle or hardship with a child. People who grew up without the ability to emotionally cope can be very, very good at false contrition to juice up on sympathy before going back to let it out on their inner people. Cowards trading on moments of fake vulnerability to keep people in their favor. It is at the heart of so much family tragedy as trust seems possible. Just sharing b/c if you compare his two calls, the manipulation is incredibly dark and sad for all of the children. I hope I don't hear his voice a 3rd time but if I do, I can't imagine it would suddenly show any genuine empathy toward his kids or that he'd be able to demonstrate accountability for the damage he's caused. I wonder if it seems like he made a lot of self discovery because Dr. John is so good at helping people "get there"...Brian just had to follow along.

@7somekindofsomething

Жыл бұрын

@@bettysmith4527yeah people need to figure themselves out before entering serious relationships in my opinion. At least to an extent. A healthy partner will hopefully guide you on that path but many don’t.

@73odus

Жыл бұрын

I don't necessarily appreciate the tone Dr. Delony used with him. I felt he could've been way more conscientious with that. But yes, very helpful.

He should be proud that he provides enough for his wife to be at home to care for the children all summer.

@YASMINOGBU

Жыл бұрын

Yep ✨👌

@wil404

Жыл бұрын

You're forgetting the 10 year student debt.

@MrRolloBaggins

Жыл бұрын

She should be working to pay off her debt. She should be more thankful

@vsand9798

11 ай бұрын

That like a big corporation telling the underpaid employees they should be grateful they have a job. He feels under appreciated, that is the wife’s failure.

@notyourtypicalcomment2399

11 ай бұрын

@@MrRolloBagginsshe only didn’t work for the 3 months, she went to school and worked and raised the children. He said she works just didn’t work 3 months.

The ability of Dr. Delony to see through, no matter what the callers situation or initial description of it, to see the actual reason and pain is incredible! Not just in this episode of the show, but at any call he received. He is listening to what a person has to say and sees what is behind and real reason or problem is. Thank you so much for this show! ❤

This reminds me so much of my exhusband. So completely unhappy with himself and no tools to address it, or self awareness to look at himself as the problem. So he decided I was the issue - I was the reason he didn’t go back to school, have the job he wanted, have the life he wanted. Isolated me from friends, ignored and dismissed and abused me. Cheated for years and put me and our son as low priority in his life. Navigating the rage was a constant battle to protect myself and my son. As much as he hurt me I know he was hurting. He still doesn’t know how to help himself and he’s having the same issues without me to blame. Sounds horribly lonely. Just glad to be out of the line of fire. I hope more men feeing this way learn to look in the mirror and get help.

You can't put a price on a parent being home with 4 kids. There has to be adult supervision. She's working most of the year, 4 kids and school, yes, it's gonna take a long time! Classes are not always available when it's convenient for your schedule.

I would really love to hear from his wife an ex-wife tbh.

@joannawrzelikowska3273

5 ай бұрын

Oh me too 🎉

@Nathan_Bookwurm

4 ай бұрын

Me too, especially the wife who has a job, is doing a bachelor study and takes care of 4 kids alone all day while he's at work. I'm sure she's just as burnt out. I'm a SAHD and doing a 1 year course and even that one takes 1.5 years for me to finish because there's only so many hours in a day. And I don't even have a job or 4 years bachelor to do like the wife.

@rachaelcameron1542

3 ай бұрын

Especially because Mom is at home dealing with a teenager with potential ptsd, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. Oh and the other 3 kids. I’m sure that’s smooth sailing and everything’s fine

@littleme3597

Ай бұрын

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Thank you. Then he is gone so much....his choice.

@JML542

20 күн бұрын

​@@Nathan_BookwurmNot "just" taking care of kids but actually going through pregnancy, delivery and nursing, too.

Oh man!! As soon as he said "well my wife just stays at home and watches daytime television" i was like oh no he didnt just say that!!

@sammadlin8868

5 ай бұрын

Ya, 4 kids ranging from 5-15 and he says he works 70 hours a week? Sounds like he doesn’t have much of an idea of what she’s really up to. Who is staying with these kids over the summer when they’re out of school and he’s at work 70 hours a week?

@kdphotos4691

5 ай бұрын

@@sammadlin8868 - I don't believe him. Why should anyone believe him? He complained about his ex and now he complains about his current wife and then he will complain about his next wife and so on. This guy will always blame others for HIS choices. He chose these women.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

@@kdphotos4691 : It sounds like he should sign up with MTGOW and be done with it. In this day and age, marriage has lost most of its significance.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

Why did you say "Oh no, he didn't just say that?" Do you believe all wives are created equal? Do you believe women walk on water? You seem to be following a false, self serving, sexist stereotype. I've seen a lot of shitty mothers in my day, and I've seen some real shitty wives, so please advise.

@Vhhandle

2 ай бұрын

Looking after 4 kids is not a joke it’s hard work 😓 You can even begin to comprehend until she leaves then with you for 3 days straight no help

i don't have children but saying that raising 4 kids is nothing is insane to me, it is wild. no duh its taken her 10 years , I struggled without kids and financial support from my parents to make it in 4 years. I can't imagine what she's going through

I get what he means by desperate. People who struggle with money have a better appreciation of its value rather than those who never felt uncomfortable.

@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607

Жыл бұрын

💯 💯💯💯💯

@beccadotelpy

Жыл бұрын

They also have more anxiety when they are actually ok financially b/c they know it can all go away and that anxiety can be suffocating but we call it being realistic. I know b/c I am that way.

@LuluBeLulu

4 ай бұрын

The flip side is that they frequently struggle with financial anxiety and, even if they're doing well enough, still feel as if they are struggling to stay afloat because that's all they've ever known. Then people who've never had to experience that see that their needs are met and that there is some level of financial security and feel comfortable. Then the financially anxious get frustrated when everyone around them doesn't participate in that anxiety

@Gemmarose9012

2 ай бұрын

@@LuluBeLuluThat’s what therapy is for.

@Jinger17

Ай бұрын

@@LuluBeLuluyes!! My husband frees up with not much $$. He is 45 and has a really good job and never seems to be able to accept that We as a family are o.k. And I did not grow up like that so he gets mad at Me for not having the anxiety You mention.

As a woman I'm on the callers side. He's fed up. I get it. Fyi Ramsey team: There are some lazy stay at home moms out there.

@WatchMeLearnIt

Жыл бұрын

1. So if as a woman your husband came home after 10-12 hours of taking care of four kids non-stop, day after day and said "I can't believe you just sit on the couch and watch TV all day - why aren't you doing anything for this family?" You'd be okay with that? Lol ok 2. The issue at the end of the day has literally nothing to do with her work ethic. Which John points out correctly. This is so much deeper than how much money she is making.

@dougprentice1363

Жыл бұрын

A house wife used to be a full time job back in the 1940's. Not now.

@gabrielamartiniuc6322

Жыл бұрын

There are !

@gabrielamartiniuc6322

Жыл бұрын

@@WatchMeLearnIt I never watched TV . I was at the gym or cleaning or cooking or with the kids on a bike ride . It’s too bad these women sit and watch TV and lack motivation to clean their woah home and make it a sanctuary for everyone.

@Chalk89

Жыл бұрын

Brie, you do realize that some SAHM are not good at the job right? I'm not making that claim about this caller's wife but you're making it out to be sacrilegious to even question her effectiveness as a SAHM.

This was my husband...I graduated from my masters degree. He supported us the whole time I was in school after I finished I couldn't find a job. I took a part time job as a teacher aid. Still looking for work in my field. Pandemic hit...still nothing. Got laid off. He pressured me to take a job as a teacher in his school. He teaches turkish for high school. Still looking for something in my field. After 1 year of that I quit to look for a job full time and the whole time he would call me lazy. Self centered. Tell me I didn't want to work. He was stressed because we had a lot of debt and bills to pay and he took it out on me and blamed me. I cried several times. He gave me the silent treatment and treated suicide. I suggested couples therapy and he refused. After I got a job finally as a bioinformatics developer he stopped treating me that way but I still don't forgive him.

@hyrunnisa997

Жыл бұрын

Jeeze...his poor kid. I can understand why he is depressed.

@shinnosukenohara3522

Жыл бұрын

This is what being a man feels like. Being nagged day and night for money.

@cristianm6706

Жыл бұрын

Crazy that you don’t find anything wrong in your statement. Just imagine a poor father raising kids, paying bills, and your school! Without any additional income. You probably wouldn’t understand but damn feel bad for your husband

@hyrunnisa997

Жыл бұрын

@@cristianm6706 he didn’t pay for my school. i took out loans and we don’t have kids.

@schokococoa575

11 ай бұрын

@@hyrunnisa997lol love how he didn’t apologize for his wrong assumption. Sorry that you had to deal with an unsupportive spouse especially during difficult times like the pandemic. I hope you’re doing well at your new job!

And as far as his 15 year old daughter goes:She tried to end her life twice? Gee, her father is never around, he can’t stand her mother, and he most likely doesn’t bother with her, which she probably thinks is her fault. Hmm…

@tiffanyroberts5993

5 ай бұрын

Her father could be around more if his wife brought in better income.

@tylerborntraeger8677

2 ай бұрын

@@tiffanyroberts5993 The underlying message there is "I would appreciate/love you more if you were more financially useful to the house"

@littleme3597

Ай бұрын

@@tiffanyroberts5993 Not her job. She is already wearing many hats in that marriage. Wife, mother, school teacher, part time student, and doing all the household chores. He is the problem.

I went from disliking this guy to feeling terrible for him.

@marianemashkalo4182

Жыл бұрын

Really? I went vice versa. First "wife can't finish a degree for 10 years and it costs money" , but then "oh,and I am always away while she has a job+ 4(!!!) Kids,how lazy she is". So I disliked him at the end. And.... driving is easy job,not intellectual exactly....so he should not consider himself a star.

@rogermarr9067

Жыл бұрын

Oh no I just started listening to the episode and right away I'm already calling this guy a jerk so now you definitely got me wanting to listen to the whole thing to find out why you said what you said

@BitterComments

Жыл бұрын

@@marianemashkalo4182 “Driving is an easy job because it’s not intellectual.” Spoken like a posh, condescending faux intellectual who has never had to stay awake and alert behind the wheel of a ten ton vehicle for fifteen hours straight.

@wnm8888

Жыл бұрын

He wove a web of lies. Listen to his first call. He's a professional victim.

@marianemashkalo4182

Жыл бұрын

@@BitterComments I actually used to work night shifts in tech support, but yes, it's not driving. I get how my comment might have sounded condescending, that is not what I meant, I think I did not express my thought too well. Of course every honest job is honorable and physical jobs are hard in 1 way, while intellectual- in another way. They are just different and you get tired from both jobs. My comment was more in response to his implication that he's the only one working and she's a lazy teacher(!) with 4 kids at home(1) + he works for 70 hours(!) and yet is magically home every evening. If he rally works that much, comes home and falls asleep immediately then it's not much help with the kids. Something does not add up. And again, working for 70 hours is not a virtue: work smart not hard. Why can't he advance his career to something yes, more intellectual and would pay more for 40 hours. Why not? He can, I am sure, we are intelligent beings, it's in our nature to strive that way. Doing repetitive job for 70 hours is not a virtue, if you think that's condescending - it is not, I assume he can do better, that is actually uplifting. The issues his wife has obviously need addressing, I'd love if she called and John heard her story and advised her on now she can better manage her life and their relationship. Because we hear him whining and that's all. The title made me think I'll hear about an unemployed lady without kids paining her nails and buying clothes or something. The call turned out to be much more complicated and the fact that he sees himself as a victim is also wrong. They both can and should be actors, not subjects in their lives.

Calling all men everywhere… it’s perfectly ok to be vulnerable and scared. This one ☝🏽 cut deep. I was not ready for the depth of this pain, shame and guilt. Thank you Dr. Delony for your gift of this podcast for Brian and all of us out here looking for help.

This poor man. I feel bad for him and for his family and especially his daughter for the pain she has. She needs her Dad glad he called and got some help and guidance.

@tina22tina

8 ай бұрын

Actually cried for this man with this show. Wow how deep.

@eleanorwalmsley635

6 ай бұрын

The guidance was beyond poor

As someone who was a stay at home mom, before I entered the workforce, some of us don’t understand money and how hard it is to make. My marriage ended for many reasons, I became a single mom and it was definitely an awakening experience. Both people in this relationship are contributing to its demise. She needs to see how hard he works in appreciate that by respecting the finances. And he needs to see that she’s a stay at home mom and that’s not an easy job. Teens have to be supervised more closely than most people think. I feel for this family.

@andreathompson-bg4hl

5 ай бұрын

From the time I was 10 I had no supervision outside of school. When people make comments about teen supervision it blows my mind.

@TheDemonCaine

5 ай бұрын

A stay at home mom is nothing compared to working a 70 hour per week job. Get in touch with reality.

@sarahm.7081

4 ай бұрын

​@@TheDemonCaine stay at home mom is 24/7 hours a job with no pay😅

@TheDemonCaine

4 ай бұрын

@@sarahm.7081 You've resorted to lying now? 24/7 when you have to sleep as well and everybody knows stay at home mum's aren't doing hard work at all times of the day. They get a lot of time to relax. Plus why would you get paid for raising your own children. You're deluded.

@sarahm.7081

4 ай бұрын

@@TheDemonCaine you never stop being the mother of your child. You are mum in sickness and in health, you bring up your offspring, wash them, clothe them, feed them, do home work with them, support them, guide them, shop for them. You wake up at night when they are still tiny and it ls feeding time (or when they are teething and they scream at the top of their lungs right in the middle of the night, effectively depriving you of sleep for days and weeks in a row). You clean up their vomit, do the school runs if they are not homeschooled, Iron their clothes... and you get blamed whenever they are caught misbehaving or if the house is not immaculate by 6.30pm, with dinner ready and steaming while your body is prepared for "nightly duties" You raise your child to become a productive and well ajusted person who will contribute positively to society. All this combined with being a supportive wife to your husband. It is indeed à 24/7 job, which many look down upon because yeah, apparently the only women worthy of respect (if I hear you) are the ones that choose to slave away for a boss that only cares about the money they bring in and can replace them in a heartbeat, while they are left to go back to their cats and teenage kids who know their Instagram friends more than their mom🤷🏾‍♀️ Right ? Is it closer to your truth?

This sounds like my husband when he was deeeep in anxiety and depression. It was actually hard to listen to for me because it brought up some not great emotions and memories for me. Dr John impresses me with his ability to cut through the bull and get to the heart of things.

@isay207

Жыл бұрын

I think the wife's depressed he's carrying the load

So she has a full time job, college, 4 kids and I'm sure does the lion's share of the chores and she's lazy???wtf...🙄

@seadragon1456

Жыл бұрын

Ya know she probably does too. Her watching reality tv is probably her watching it while folding mounds of laundry like most mothers do.

@jshepard152

Жыл бұрын

18 months of college over 10 years shouldn't even count as college.

@randykinder2736

Жыл бұрын

Excuses and all excuses are lies which makes her a liar.

@3roachkidsdhe

Жыл бұрын

I’m watching this show while in the carline to pick up my youngest

@7somekindofsomething

Жыл бұрын

18 months of college over 10 years…

I’m so sorry that happened to his daughter. 😢

I was married to a man like this, with less introspection, but he is blaming everyone and creating massive stress.

@mushroombird9400

5 ай бұрын

I was too. Key word, ‘was’. Angry tyrant. Always grumpy and took it out on me. Thank goodness we didn’t have children!

@luisfernando5998

5 ай бұрын

U had to marry such men because you wasted ur self of stranger D from like tinder before marriage …

@kdphotos4691

5 ай бұрын

@@mushroombird9400 - He's a truck driver yet he somehow magically knows what she does all day. He also had a problem with his ex. He is the problem, not her

@KateAmberYoga

4 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry. That's so toxic.

@CraftyStayAtHomeMama

Ай бұрын

Recently separated from someone just like him. Coincidently, he is also a truck driver, gone for 2 weeks at a time.

This guy...wow! looks like he's on divorce #2. The resentment in his voice is brutal. I think he had a different expectation of his life and it's not working out. Bless this family.

@franziskani

10 ай бұрын

@@soulseeker1729 Not even HE says she does not care about her 2 step kids and the 2 she gave birth to (within 10 years). The college degree is one of many things she takes care of. - It is possible that she works more hours per week than him (unpaid and unappreciated, and called lazy). He says he drives trucks 70 hours, but her workload during schooltime when she holds a paid job might be even higher. btw he also complains about the 150 bucks for the tests she failed. Likely she did not fail 20 times. It is a nuisance to "waste" 150 bucks, and the more severe financial harm is that she could earn more in the same time as soon as she is qualified (and find a job nearby - although some commenters said she is not going to make 40 k in their state) But the 150 bucks (or 300 or 450 for 3 exams) are not going to ruin them. Moreover she is not a shopping alcoholic, these expenditures will not go on forever. Either she passes or she gives up. Imagine if she chose to get tutoring, so she can pass the math section (or whatever is hard for her with that exam). Can you imagine his denigrating remarks and his complaints about that ? He is not there during the week, so all the child care, school appointments and administrative tasks, household chores, shopping she has to handle w/o him. On top of that she DOES have a PAID job. She is "lazy" according to him because he is even jealous of her 3 "free" months in summer when teachers do not work. He is right that she could earn more money with the same amount of hours when she passed the exam - but likely he would find another problem with her. As the test seems to be rather easy, I wonder if that is her passive-aggressive protest (but other commenterss have claimed that the math sections is a problem for quite a few people and many folks have to take the test at least twice). No doubt he is coming down on her hard and it has been going on for 10 years. He may have worn her down. Not to forget at least 2 pregnancies (heaven forbid she had a post partum blues, or was exhausted) and 2 step children (one of them tried to take her life 2 years before). And you can be sure that the WOMEN take care of the appointments of the girl and supervise her. Either the allegedly so toxic ex that is the mother - or the step mother. He brings home more money than her, and he works long hours - but I guess in return he can delegate all other time consuming aspects of having a family and a house to the women in his life. (current and former wife).

@eclipse.5295

4 ай бұрын

I think he just doesn’t like women, unless they’re doing some thing for him 😉

This is probably one of the best calls of this show!!! Great Job Dr. Delony!! Helped me understand how some men deal with stress and emotions.

@BGP_23

7 ай бұрын

Fortunately, he got in touch with the right person. Many don't and just give up and cash in their chips. That situation is more common than can be imagined.

She works and has 4 kids and I'm sure does the majority of what needs to be done in the house. 10 years is a long time, but I can understand why she couldn't get the degree done in a year or two. 10 years is a really long time, but she probably feels like she is drowning too. And like John said, she probably feels like it will never be enough for him. He really needs to work on how he expresses and directs his emotions. Even when he was talking about his daughter needing to get help he sounded like he was angry at her. I don't think he really was, but if I was his daughter hearing him talk about it I would feel that he resented me.

I ended up balling my eyes out listening to this. I can't imagine the parent that has to go through the pain of having their child raped over and over for two years, and then trying to kill themselves twice. That, in itself is trauma for the parent.

@rachelmaddowswife8713

Жыл бұрын

God, what a nightmare. If I was a single mom I'd stay single until the kids were out of the house. Unfortunately pedophiles go after single moms in order to have access to kids. 9 times out of 10 molestation is mom's boyfriend or the stepdad.

@veebliss1266

11 ай бұрын

The MOTHER is toxic!

@kyleelawson3029

11 ай бұрын

@@veebliss1266hi! i’m the 15 yr old daughter in this video (16 now) and i would like to let you know that the woman he’s talking about is my step mom and yes she made and still makes mine, my sisters, my mom, and yes my dads life a living hell. and no just so everyone knows i NEVER blamed my dad for ANYTHING.

@TrishDigginsDesign

9 ай бұрын

@@kyleelawson3029wow. How does she do that?

@kyleelawson3029

9 ай бұрын

@@TrishDigginsDesign she’s just insanely mentally abusive and she takes all my dads money and spends it on herself, and she has 4 kids (2 biological) and she treats all of them like trash.

I didn’t listen to his first call, but I have a strong suspicion that maybe HE was the “emotional terrorists’ in his last relationship. He doesn’t seem to appreciate anything about anyone- everyone else is the problem and it’s never him. Ugh can’t stand people like him.

@alexandrap.961

Жыл бұрын

I agree, listening to him gives me anxiety. I can't imagine how tense he must be with his wife and kids. I'm sure his wife does a lot of housework just to keep up with 4 kids it's a lot.

@ingrydseixasdarocha2901

11 ай бұрын

Had the same feeling

@solimine1007

11 ай бұрын

Narcissism

@dwhunter8904

5 ай бұрын

Rule #1 …….it’s always the man’s fault. 😂 . She could also be just a lazy slob, he’s working himself to death to pay for the house AND her college that she is dragging out and racking up more debt. Sitting on her butt while her house and marriage explodes……….unacceptable.

@Veracityseeker7

5 ай бұрын

​@@dwhunter8904You guys always say that. It's getting old by now. If he was talking to the wife; he would redirect her back to herself, instead of blaming her husband. Y'all are just allergic to introspection.

He's held everything in and now he's letting it all out at once. I can feel his frustrations and I think he needs to take a step back and knock down each problem one at a time not all at once. This was a tough call. Him and his wife are 2 adults with no clue where they're heading. The world is deciding their fate, not them

@IMBLESSED-oe6dl

2 ай бұрын

Shouldnt have knocked her up w 4 kids. This is the problem men want unlimited sex n no responosbility n when divorce happens woman shouldn't not ask for any support. Sad

Fabulous session, before our eyes the caller's life is being changed in 30min! Great Dr.JD, you don't just create, you stand for something. ❤

This was a beautiful call. I hope Brian has found some peace in this storm. ♡

I like how John just says and feels things as they are right away. From tones and how things are said.

@isay207

Жыл бұрын

Dont marry for lust

The missing piece in this scenario is that he does a job where he can’t help with kids, ever. Both my husband and I were on career paths when we had kids, however he seemed to think he should have cart Blanche to spend as much time as necessary to be successful and I was almost 100% on the hook for childcare + working full time. I wish there had been a grandparent around to help us out, but there wasn’t. So I ended up quitting my job to be at home with the kids and he has resented me ever since, even though he was making half a million a year.

@eve_63

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!

@neisci

Жыл бұрын

Sitter wasn't an option discussed? I am not saying neglecting the children, but having a balance where both of you could financially contribute. Some people want their spouses to be financial contributors of the household (probably one of the reasons he was attracted to you) and and they see no much value in staying at home partners hence your husbands resentment. Everything you spend to him seems like you are spending "too much " you as a family never have "enough ".

@HALFAMAZINGTV

Жыл бұрын

@@neisci You get it.. It's the sense of urgency that counts, not always the act.

@V.E.R.O.

Жыл бұрын

@@neisci Agree, if he was making half a million and she was also working they could have someone to care for the children and someone to help clean and cook.

@ChristianOne

5 ай бұрын

​@@V.E.R.O.WHY on earth would she want to spend most of any paycheck she makes on childcare instead of raising them herself??? It is a JOB to raise kids...that is why you have to pay a stranger to do it. It is so bizzare that so many people have lost respect for the carreer it is to raise children. It is a noble profession to try to raise children with quality character, morals, values, and a loving heart. Long after your career chasing money, it is having adult children as your dearest friends that makes life so meaningful. Money isn't everything. If I was a millionaire, I would be DELIGHTED to provide for my partner to stay home...my PLEASURE to make their life EASIER. I wouldn't feel resentful about taking care of my family.

What a powerful discussion. You can't help but feel the trauma from all sides of the family - him (working so hard on the road), her (working full time and trying to take a class here and there), the daughter (trying to bury her hurt and pain)...I hope he had that pivotal conversation with his wife and they went to the battlefield together.

That was mind-blowing, my favorite episode so far. John is amazing at x-raying peoples hearts.

I was ready to side with him before I heard his tone/attitude and the fact that they have FOUR KIDS. 🤦‍♀️ I'm glad he can admit he's arrogant, but the next step is to act on that and *listen* to his wife like she's a real human being, and not a lazy, irresponsible idiot.

@davidhale4647

Жыл бұрын

Right She works as a teacher and going to school He is mad she took the summer off they have 4 kids Teachers have the summer off I think he needs counseling this is his second marriage Sad there daughter has problems

@dudeorduuude5211

Жыл бұрын

Well, she is being lazy, but it may due to depression or just feeling stuck and directionless.

@racheljames7

11 ай бұрын

She is irresponsible though. She wastes time on a degree she has no intention of completing while he forks out the money for it.

@watermelonlover745

6 ай бұрын

He's a grown man and needs to act it

@vickimerritt2832

5 ай бұрын

Wife works full time, maybe more as teachers put in a ton of unpaid overtime, goes to school studies, and has 4 kids 24 7, with zero help from him on the homefront? She does not sound lazy

The comments saying listen to this guy more? He's insulting his wife continuously on this call blaming her for literally all his problems. He referred to his ex wife as an emotional terrorist and said all his wife does is sit at home and watch TV. John is right - this guy has internal problems and is placing the blame on everyone else.

@salma_Nella22

Жыл бұрын

He has a problem with being a provider and isn’t being encouraging at all. He sounds like nothing will ever make him happy. He even admitted to having a huge ego. She sounds tired too

@mglazman

Жыл бұрын

It's the same wife in these two calls. He said that last call was in "April" and this current situation has been going on for 10 years. So just one wife-- there's no ex. And it sounds like she's at least equally to blame, and refuses to address the problem. At least he's trying.

@terriesmith2616

Жыл бұрын

He's insulting his wife like that female caller insulting her husband...calling him a man-child, a loser and she doesn't respect him. Oh, you mean, insults like that? Yet John listened to her and validated her feelings.

@witchsistah

Жыл бұрын

Dude just shouldn't be married period.

@texan903

Жыл бұрын

Being the soul provider for a household of six would be a complete nightmare. He's pretty calm when you think about it. His frustration, at least partly, I feel, is the fact that his wife could finish her test and potentially see a hefty increase in household income and she is probably dragging her feet doing so. If he gets severely injured or becomes gravely ill, keeping him out of work for an extended period, the family is royally screwed.

Being a mother of four kids is more work than most jobs. My wife is a stay at home mom for our 2 year old and works much more than I do at my corporate job. I think the caller needs some perspective and/or a new job that he likes.

@marching27

Жыл бұрын

thank you, I was getting anxiety hearing the dude talk and was starting to get worried he might kill her or something. glad some men do see the whole picture, not just empathize with him only;;;;

@rachelmaddowswife8713

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, four kids is no picnic. It sounds like he's working two full time jobs and she's working one full time job (teaching is full time even though you get the summer off because of all the prep work, plus her courses). Four kids with one stay at home parent and one 9-5 working parent would be bad enough. Their situation sounds like enough to stress anyone out. I know couples with young kids who are both killing themselves to keep it all together, and they pick on each other whenever one is perceived to not be doing as much as they are. It's hard to get out of that mindset when you're so overwhelmed. Idk what to tell them. Maybe they can reach out to extended family and ask someone to watch the kids sometimes while they go on a date, or make the 15 year old babysit sometimes.

@electrodynamicorb6548

Жыл бұрын

Except breeding is not mandatory so I don’t care about the complaints.

He's been supporting his family for three months, i.e. during his wife's summer break as an assistant teacher, ergo his wife treats him as her cash cow?! Wow! This guy's a head case.

I was not expecting the call to go like this and to me, it sounds like the wife has her own bag of issues but damn. Deloney really yanked it out of this guy. 🥴

@tacooflove6175

Жыл бұрын

Like a fingernail yeah

@dudeorduuude5211

Жыл бұрын

He is really good at this. I compare him to Dr. Drew, who talks over people and rushes them off the call. But I suppose he is a medical doctor, not a therapist. Where Dr. John clearly is trained.

@thereflextester

Ай бұрын

Brian is a better man than me. I'd probably be in jail

"The only common factor in all of your unhappy relationships is you." He needs to change, although he has the provider / work ethic part down. That's a good start.

John, you are amazing. Thanks for supporting that guy in such a compassionate way

This was so masterfull. I just felt every feeling for Brian, at the end I cried for him ❤️ it's easy to forget how many men will Express fear and sadness as anger. I hope he changed his relationship with his family. UPDATES please

Wow this was intense 😬 I can just imagine how his wife probably just shuts down bc he's constantly pacing around and anxious bc he feels like he has to be that way or else everything is going to come crashing down. When you're around a constant anxious person you get to the point where you just go into survival mode, and you either always fight, you leave, or you just shut down. This guy needs to just chill for everyones sake🙁

Four kids and working as a para professional. She’s busy. He doesn’t appreciate her value to their children. He sounds like he’s jealous that she has the summer off.

@bffoxjr

Жыл бұрын

I thought she wasn't working yet.

@Rosaedora

Жыл бұрын

@@bffoxjr she's working a full time job and going to school and parenting the kids. she took the summer off from work for the first time to get more time to study for the exam. he says so on the call.

@bffoxjr

Жыл бұрын

@@Rosaedora I must have missed that.

@maryjojouwstra3860

Жыл бұрын

I was gonna say the same thing. ( about summer off )

@cameronvantassell9483

Жыл бұрын

It's like you didn't even listen. Or more like you put yourself in that woman's shoes and immediately started to be defensive. This is why men have such a hard time opening up. Was/is he perfect and/or wrong? Not at all and yes he was wrong. But clearly, his issues were way deeper than a summer off.

Conversations like this are what our young men & women need to hear during dating. Marriage is Work. It's awesome to be in love.

I feel bad for the guy who wife is taking ten years to finish a bachelors. He has every right to be upset.

“I’m her safety net, I go out and work 70 hours a week!” You’re NOT her safety net, because I guarantee you hold this over her head and make her feel UNsafe.

@teijmeij7423

Жыл бұрын

@Chevy Brinkley THAT PART!! He makes her feel like a burden because he has a one way world view and he sees her difference of approach/opinion as just being disagreeable or not caring as much as he does.

@lynnebucher6537

Жыл бұрын

Also he totally ignores that while he's putting in 70 hours a week, she is likely doing most or all of the domestic stuff, including raising his 4 kids.

@sovietsandvich8443

Жыл бұрын

10 years to do half of a degree is ridiculous. You people are delusional

@HALFAMAZINGTV

Жыл бұрын

@@lynnebucher6537 He said that she is does nothing but sits home and watch reality shows, while failing her exams. Even john said that she doesn't want it that bad. So, we can't except one area, but not except her not willing to take accountability for her own goals that she has set out.

@jshepard152

Жыл бұрын

@@teijmeij7423 Sounds like she is a burden.

Probably one of the best I've heard. Amazing job getting to the underlying issue that had nothing to do with his current wife.

People put forth effort when they feel appreciated. He needs to start thanking her for all the little things she does.

@maisybee2091

5 ай бұрын

True

@Obsidian_9

4 ай бұрын

Why doesnt she have to do the same for him to put forth effort?

Wow, didn't expect this call to get this deep. I pray that Brian and his family find healing.

At the beginning of the call I was ready to assume Dr delony would automatically side with the wife, but as I listened to the entire thing I love how he wove it into finding the heart of the pain & fear, the stuff in his past. So good thank you Dr John 👏🏼🙂

@jdkayak7868

Жыл бұрын

This is another woman he married after a divorce in April this year, the guy is clearly stupid in choosing life partners, he dug his own hole.

@wnm8888

Жыл бұрын

Is there another video of this caller?

@jdkay1390

Жыл бұрын

​@@wnm8888 yes

@wnm8888

Жыл бұрын

Would you please drop the link or video title?

@jwlsngold5026

Жыл бұрын

@@wnm8888 try searching his name, city, and state, Dr John Delony. That should get you his first phone call.

News Flash: As of July 2022, the take home pay for a special needs aid or teacher, in Wyoming, starting off, after taxes is far less than the $40K Brian stated he would want his wife to make. Just one of the many unrealistic expectations he has.

@BronnyJames2025MVP

4 ай бұрын

That what republicans do.

I was real angry at this guy at the beginning of the call. Now I'm just angry at myself. This guy is me.

This man said he had to support his family by himself for 3 months. Men are supposed to provide. I have worked and fully supported myself and I have been a SAHM. Staying at home is way harder than going to work. Work is a vacation! You get to pee alone and go to lunch by yourself or with coworkers. Adults! You get to talk to adults and wear nice clothes without spit up or vomit, pee, poop…

@ifc1035

2 ай бұрын

Are you really comparing a cushy office job to a man driving a truck 70 hours per week?

This wife sounds like she has been standing in the gap and protecting his 15 yr daughter at home, at school and in every way. $40k a year will seem worthless if she is successful at her next attempt. This is a bad situation all around and John was right on. I hope this whole family get the help it needs

@skrzydlataglowa

Жыл бұрын

This! And probabily depressed.

@dynamicwellness33

9 ай бұрын

The daughter is not her daughter, and probably also spends more time or right now with his ex-wife as the courts typically go that way. Personally to me sounds like she’s lazy and not willing to put her fair share in and don’t share the same financial goals or values.

Wow. This was a whole counseling session for him. What great words of wisdom I hope he takes to heart. I hope he listens back to this call and hear how broken he is.

@SaystheTruth3

Жыл бұрын

I agree... I also think his wife should listen to this call as well. Hopefully she'll get some understanding on how he feels... Sad situation.

Wow. This dude. I don’t think men ever give credit to house wives. It’s not an easy job and it’s Payless and thankless. We are never valued

@JonesyTheFirst69

5 ай бұрын

You should go work a full time job and be responsible for majority of the bills while ur husband takes care of home responsibilities then 🎉

@fatemad4012

3 ай бұрын

​@@JonesyTheFirst69no problem but most men are lazy to do household

Wow! I feel so sorry for this guy! And his daughter ! I did not see this coming

I just had a thought. Does this guy pick a fight with his wife shortly before this big exam? I was with a guy who did that. Finally he admitted that he was afraid I'd lose interest in him once I got my degree and got a decent job. So he was trying to make sure I failed. And just like this caller, he denigrated and devalued me frequently.

@meomy29

3 ай бұрын

Acting like this is a good way to lose one's spouse.

Holy moly…. This is me. My poor husband, my poor children. The anxiety is real. I do believe this man forced his wife to contribute financially; she chose school but it’s not her dream, it’s his.

@HALFAMAZINGTV

Жыл бұрын

it's 2022. You are delusional if you believe a truck driver's income can support four kids and a spouse. They are in it as team, not him alone. She needs to uphold her own part.

@tommystizzle6560

Жыл бұрын

​@@HALFAMAZINGTV You may be surprised how much you could make considering the overtime.

@HALFAMAZINGTV

Жыл бұрын

@@tommystizzle6560 Very True and good point. Then the question remains how much will backbreaking overtime continue before they both realize that it isn't sustainable.

@Righhhhhtttt

Жыл бұрын

@@HALFAMAZINGTV I agree with you. breadwinner anxiety is real and there aren’t enough conversations being had around that topic.

@Righhhhhtttt

Жыл бұрын

@@HALFAMAZINGTV when your whole family’s financial viability is on your shoulders (especially now a days lol) that’s a heavy load to carry for one person.

This is a man who grew up poor and now has severe financial anxiety. I had the same thing but I also have a supportive spouse on the same page. As a woman I will say I believe this woman is lazy and selfish. She isn’t on the same page. She doesn’t care as much about carrying debt and that debt is a massive stress on this man psychologically.

@biffm.2806

Жыл бұрын

Yes! He may have issues to work through, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong for worrying about finances. To have the wife just brush off his anxieties about money probably makes him feel like she doesn’t care about him or their family/future.

@vsand9798

11 ай бұрын

I agree.

@tiffanyroberts5993

10 ай бұрын

Agreed and it’s not fair for him to have to work 70 hours a week to support his family. That reason alone should motivate his wife to get a job and the fact that she hasn’t shows she is selfish. The children are not infants and do not require constant attention.

@Christine-777

10 ай бұрын

SDL, You nailed this, ma'am. 🙏💞

@lelanoel3499

10 ай бұрын

I disagree. She has raised 4 kids and had a job outside the home. When did she have time and energy to get a degree? There is unending work in just keeping a house running, 6 people fed and wearing clean clothes! Give her a break! And if she took the summer off from work, she needs it. And if she didn't take the summer off, there would be day care to pay for.

Im on the callers side . Dont expect guys to buy everything for you. They dont like that

So much is going in this guy life. He has many broken relationships to repair. Hope he can find peace without losing it all.

She knows she can't please him, so she just gave up.

@nervotica7991

5 ай бұрын

BS. She does not understand Men, and it manifests in her Daughters behaviour.

@vickimerritt2832

5 ай бұрын

She likely has burn out and if measured puts in more working and non paid time toward their lives than him.

@tiffanyroberts5993

5 ай бұрын

I think she’s lazy and doesn’t want to get a real job.

@ydoucare55

5 ай бұрын

@@vickimerritt2832 If that's the case, then ease the burden and go get a job like him and pay for childcare.

@sowutsurpoint

5 ай бұрын

She gave up on her kids then As she's not helping financially and spends money on a study she don't want

wow, this was a fantastic phone call, and turn around, from the beginning attitude he had. Well done John!

Great job, John! Amazing and so dramatic conversation

I just want to reach through and give this man a hug.

Dang this was a real one. Hits home for me. Thankful for this guy sharing his story and thanks to John for the help. 🙏

Wow, what a show. Kudos to both of you. This is one of my favorite shows.

Beautiful conversation! 💕 Thank you!

John you were so gracious and kind throughout this because wooooo child, I sure will be stressed.

Wow: so it’s summer, a bunch of kids and he’s wondering why she doesn’t get another job. Who watches the kids and pays for daycare? Sometimes a man needs to understand it’s not always the other person but who’s in the mirror. Kids get fed, clothes washed, house organized, food bought, managing extra curricular a…but she’s doing nothing. Come on, give us a break, his comments are gross about his wife’s safety net or she’s doing nothing. 🤮 Oh I’d love for Dr. John to call her up and get her take.

@sheila3936

Жыл бұрын

When asked who takes care of the kids he kept implying he did equal work but then would say “he’s at home in the evenings” which doesn’t mean he’s actively participating though. Also said he works 70 hour weeks…so not home? I bet he doesn’t understand the full scale of work that goes into raising four! children.

@texan903

Жыл бұрын

@@sheila3936 he has a heavy load on his shoulders by supporting six people. If he becomes injured or ill for an extended period, taking him out of work, the family is screwed. Let's not discount that fact. His wife just needs to let him know that she's getting the kids to and from school, to and from extracurriculars, doctor's appointment, laundry washed and folded and put away, meals cooked and dishes washed, floors swept and mopped, floors vacuumed, kids homework done, getting the kids ready for bed, etc. They're both doing a lot and each need to understand, respect, and acknowledge each other's contribution to the household.

@lollnr3447

Жыл бұрын

I'm convinced that he's clueless to all his wife actually does. If she's like most moms, she does 99 thankless things a day and is at her whit end with him

@franziskani

10 ай бұрын

@@texan903 No he is neurotic about it. Many families would be in (some) trouble if the main financial provider would get sick for longer time. Or if one of the parents could not work anymore and they are a one income houshold. They would need to change their plans, sell the home - or ask family for help. Not many people have that kind of financial security that losing one income would not matter - and for most the risk never manifests. What if they would have gotten a severely ill child and one of the parents must stay home full time ? Change of plans needed. Even wealthy families would need to downsize.

@BronnyJames2025MVP

4 ай бұрын

@@texan903that only shows that capitalism and conservative policies are immoral and destructive. Read the Bible.

This was the most real and honest interview I’ve ever heard

Spot on, John. Great advice. I hope the man follows his advice.

Brian has been through a lot. Hope he can get help to work through his past and have peace in his life.

John… the Praxis, especially the math portion, is often tough. From what I’m told, most people fail it at least once. Second, yeah it’s taken 10 years to do college!!!!! She’s given birth 2-3 times in that period, she’s working full time, and she’s dealing with a really difficult husband. She probably can only take 1-2 classes per semester. SO WHAT you got YOUR degrees fast… your wife carried your slack and this guy’s wife had 4 kids to care for and a husband who didn’t have her back.

@samh5218

Жыл бұрын

👏 👏 👏👏👏 I work with adult learners as an instructor formerly as an academic advisor. When I was an advisor. I assured my students it wasn’t a race to get their degree. The end goal was still the same. Wether it took two year or ten.

@pimaggot

Жыл бұрын

Yeah he missed on that one.

@haolegirl7230

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes Dr John can be really pretentious here's one of them ☝️

@leslie3566

Жыл бұрын

exactly pregnancies are not easy and raising them! working full time as well! that is tough!!

@JKNat9004

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!!! Excellent point.

This was a great call. John really got beneath the issues. I really hope this guy heals.

He takes NOTHING she does into account. He wants a “perfect” wife. 🙄 sounds like his wife would never be able to do enough. What he said about her at home during summer (only) taking care of 4 kids as DOING NOTHING…😡😡WHAT ABOUT HER?? Sounds like SHE is always alone…if he’s a truck driver. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe his daughter doesn’t think he loves her cause he’s such an angry man who is always gone!! ??

Oh well, this phone call triggered me right back into my marriage. It was horrible and emotionally abusive, it became a thing that I couldn't do anything right and eventually I stopped trying. He doesn't get it and probably wont. My take its taking her 10 years to finish her degree, she doesn't want it, but it is a way for her to shut her husband up for the short term. So she tells him she is going to complete her degree. I played these games just so I could find a moment of peace with my now ex-husband.

@vainglory5346

Жыл бұрын

I thought some of the same things about the call, but about it taking 10 years to get her degree... I feel like there wasn't enough clarity about this. The wife seems to work during the school year, implying she may be an aide or something similar - probably a full time job. I don't know how many of these 4 children are hers biilogically, or live with her and the caller full-time, but if she's working and raising a family, including a pregnancy as little as 5 years ago for a child just now kindergarten age, it doesn't necessarily sound to me like the plan or priority has been to attend school full-time and finish that degree ASAP. A regular 18-year-old college student with zero children, zero husbands, and MAYBE a part-time job would take 2 years to do 60 credit hours, and even under those ideal conditions, still over 50% are failing the PRAXIS. This caller went out of his way to minimize his wife's contributions and make her sound like a freeloader because he has had to be the sole provider for a whole whopping 3 months, during his wife's off season. Who was supposed to take care of his (again, 4) children, assuming she got herself hired on to flip burgers for the summer (or whatever). It doesn't sound lazy or careless to work in the school system so that you can have summers at home with your (4!!!) kids - it sounds smart. This guy doesn't seem to be interested in providing or caring for 4 children, so I really don't understand his life choices up to this point.

@harmonee_76

Жыл бұрын

@@vainglory5346well said!!

@shinnosukenohara3522

Жыл бұрын

Don't be a useless doormat. Get a degree and support the family.

@randykinder2736

Жыл бұрын

Hush up and get a job Rhonda.

@watermelonlover745

6 ай бұрын

​@@shinnosukenohara3522what about her labor at home feeding cleaning and organizing the meetings

I applaud 👏🏻 how Dr. Delony uncovered the real root of the situation in such a short time. God bless his knowledge and wisdom.

John is right on track. Such good insight

Dr. Del has a gift for discernment. It's terrific to witness.