Confession is not repentance. Confession is getting things off your chest so you feel better while the other person now carries your weight . Repentance is changing your ways .

@haleytruslow7200

Жыл бұрын

Well said!

@minoozolala

Жыл бұрын

Did you listen to the video? He said he hasn't cheated the past 5 years. He has obviously changed how he acted when he was 18-21 years old.

@tamickawilliams1370

Жыл бұрын

🙏 Amen

@tamickawilliams1370

Жыл бұрын

@@minoozolala And...lol You know 8 is a sideways infinity. It is all about trust once you break it almost impossible to get back. Even she stays she will always be wondering and that is the torturing part that drives ppl to say good-bye.

@rebeccaoprea9917

Жыл бұрын

@@minoozolala I’m halfway in . Lol

8 different people is not a mistake, that is a lifestyle.

@flowerchild3312

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like sex addiction ! He should not be married or in a relationship!

@GuessTheFondMachine

3 ай бұрын

​people can recover from sex addiction.

@flowerchild3312

3 ай бұрын

@@GuessTheFondMachine They Can with alot of Work , Starts from their own acknowledgement awareness professional therapy dedication and Work

@loriforman3367

3 ай бұрын

"Closet" lifestyle

@ashleygrant3131

3 ай бұрын

@@flowerchild3312what’s out maybe if the wife was willing to give him more sex? Not blaming her or saying it is her fault in any way- I’m simply saying that, I know myself, with my own husband- he has a very high sex drive and lots of needs and I often don’t feel like it- but I offer myself up to him because I know if he gets it at home, he will not stray- and he never has! 😊 just sayin, sisters! ❤

He starts by saying they got married when he was 18 - and married now for 8 years. My question is, why did he call her, in the first 30 seconds, "my CURRENT wife?????" Sure sounds like, deep inside, he expects his confession to propel him into a different future. So he's going to hurt her so that SHE ends the marriage and he won't have to DO it himself. WHAT A selfish COWARD!

@PureJoySkinCareWaxStudio

5 ай бұрын

I heard that, too! [My current wife.]

@continuousself-improvement1879

5 ай бұрын

He wants to play victim, doesn't want to be the bad guy who pulled the plug. He will keep hurting her bad enough until she leaves, then he will make up a story in his head that "she did not want to work on our relationship, she initiated the divorce." What a pos.

@mollygrace3068

5 ай бұрын

Men like to cry about 80% of divorces being initiated by women, completely not counting how many times the husband left the marriage in all ways but legal.

@thispersonrighthere9024

4 ай бұрын

i'll bet the wife is a tradwide who can't afford to leave.

@80sbrunnette

4 ай бұрын

@@mollygrace3068not to mention WHY the women want a divorce… it’s probably because of loser men like this guy who cheats and breaks the household

Did he just seriously say it’s completely unfair to HIM that she won’t give him her full trust? 🤮 I hope she walked.

@SquirtlePower809

3 ай бұрын

A guy like this is a complete hopeless narcissistic mess and no one deserves to be affected by this guy. He needs to be perpetually single and just sleep around, so that he doesn't keep hurting people. Cheaters are the fcking WORST

@cwalker6911

3 ай бұрын

🤢

@lenilove3284

3 ай бұрын

I think he said “it’s completely undeserving”, which is worst.

@orielwiggins2225

3 ай бұрын

Pretty sure he was saying completely unfair for her to be in a marriage where she can't trust him because it's currently based on a lie.

@sitcheyr9352

2 ай бұрын

@@orielwiggins2225 It sounded as if the husband was making clear it was unfair to him to not be fully trusted but we can just disagree on this.

He didn’t cheat 8 times. HE HAD 8 DIFFERENT PEOPLE COUNTLESS TIMES!!!!!!!!!

@doompod

Жыл бұрын

Same thing.

@doompod

Жыл бұрын

Oh I see what you’re saying. I didn’t watch the whole thing haha yeah if he did it multiple times with 8 different people then yeah, he cheated way more than 8x.

@ObeyDaqSwaqq

11 ай бұрын

15* he cheated while dating

@vanillaghetto

10 ай бұрын

And that was only the ones when he was married. He said that he cheated on her with multiple girls the entire time they were dating. So there are many more than eight. He is a dirtbag. Lucky for her, she hasn't had any kids with him, and can leave this POS, and never look back.

@contrarian9999

9 ай бұрын

​@@vanillaghettoHe never specified it was girls, he kept on saying people. 👀

She's in her mid twenties she should leave and start over. Forget him

@xxxxxxxxx1652

Жыл бұрын

exactly, its best that she leaves asap

@coureenlawrence4915

5 ай бұрын

Why married if you know you are not ready to commit to one person? Also, why get married so young?

@Molly_Belle

5 ай бұрын

@@coureenlawrence4915Exactly, he already cheated with 8 different woman. She’s young and can start over fresh. He already has to much baggage that she doesn’t have to deal with.

@rebeccaspratling2865

5 ай бұрын

​@@coureenlawrence4915maybe their culture or religion? I know some religions and cultures make people feel forced to get married young. It's detrimental for most and leads to misery but when you believe having sex outside of marriage will make you suffer eternal hell fire, you choose the latter.

@canecorsomom2023

4 ай бұрын

Not sure what her age has to do with it. I'm 41 and I'd leave. I can do bad all by myself

He only wants to tell her so he can feel better.

@KaylaJayMusic

6 ай бұрын

This. This is exactly it.

@katiem6058

3 ай бұрын

Isn't that a good thing?

@mrhoffame

3 ай бұрын

Well, yeah....and he would only be feeling BAD because he is carrying some guilt about the idea that he did something very wrong to her. If he wasn't feeling it was wrong to do that to her....he wouldn't need to want to "feel better". I'm not sure I get your point?

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

​@@katiem6058It's utterly selfish.

@lisap3628

2 ай бұрын

Yep he feels guilty so he'll dump the burden onto her. Then he feels better and she feels awful. He's a jerk.

As a wife who was in her shoes, my advice? Do. NOT. write a letter. Not even to tell her you love her. Everything you have to say right now and for a long time to come is BS anyway. After I found out I was cheated on, everything he said to me was burned into my brain. It replayed over and over again for months, like it was happening in real time. Having written words make visual appearances in my head to accompany the audio would have been twice as traumatic. Do not write a letter.

@MzVolcanicrox

9 ай бұрын

Hope you are better now, hugs for you.

@dinajones2761

8 ай бұрын

Did you end up staying?

@TatyanaKosh

8 ай бұрын

Mine cheated while we were dating. He came clean years into our marriage. Every little reminder that he loved me was much needed, every little word or gesture. I would have clung on to that letter like for dear life if he wrote me a letter

@cynthiaziegler6558

8 ай бұрын

Agreed that’s my problem the replay

@PureJoySkinCareWaxStudio

5 ай бұрын

💯

Okay so you didn’t cheat 8 times, you cheated with 8 different people. That’s different dude. God knows how many times you have cheated. Let her go man. She deserves better than what you can give her today.

@tjmcavoy-jensen871

Жыл бұрын

I thought he said they are not married anymore?

@marcusarelius

Жыл бұрын

Completely agree. Beyond evil. Crazy that the guilt finally caught up with the narcissist

@wittyusername9544

Жыл бұрын

I was thinking is it 8 times with 1 woman or 1 time with 8 woman or a mix: 4 times with 2 woman or 3 times with 2 woman and 2 times with 1 woman.

@LauraLParr

Жыл бұрын

@@tjmcavoy-jensen871 they weren’t and then he came back and she said yes to him coming back

@nmc1859

Жыл бұрын

1,000 + times...

You tell her I cheated on you 8 times, so I’m going to file for divorce because you deserve better than me. Then you leave! Problem solved. This guy is unbelievable!

@misspiscesdreamz

Жыл бұрын

💯 exactly atp he just needs remove himself from the marriage

@dcg590

Жыл бұрын

They weren’t married yet

@TheAustrianPainter87

Жыл бұрын

The next guy will cheat too😁

@funnygaming2672

Жыл бұрын

@@dcg590 i dont know if he Canadian but if he was only dating for 1 year it equal of been marry here by the law automatically even with no paper! you just need to live with the opposite sex for 1 year ....if you dont want everything join you need to prove that you don't have sex /date this person to the government!

@DianeWilliamsCurvyGoddess

Жыл бұрын

Love this plan!

I truly don't think it's possible to love someone and cheat on them. If you cheated on them, you never loved them or respected them enough in the first place. People think they love folks but the truth is shown with action, not words.

@unattendedmessenger

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly why when men say that they'll love a woman even after they've cheated so many times but the other women that he laid down with he never gained feelings for. Then sometimes they'll go as far as leaving their wife for the woman they cheated with.

@juliaarambula3153

8 ай бұрын

Totally agree. People without morals don’t understand that.

@civildiscourse7626

5 ай бұрын

That’s the female perspective, men detach sex and love far more

@lauren4109

5 ай бұрын

@@civildiscourse7626it’s not about the sex. The reason you can’t truly love someone else and cheat has nothing to do with detaching sex. Love is sacrificial. Love is never wanting to see your lover hurt; and would rather endure war than to be the CAUSE of their complete agony. Cheating on someone is like injecting poison inside of them daily. Of course men (and women) sometimes lust for others, but won’t cheat if they truly love because of the fact that they’d rather walk on coals than to KNOWINGLY and PURPOSELY betray and destroy their heart and soul.

@civildiscourse7626

5 ай бұрын

@@lauren4109 I disagree, people are capable of hurting loved ones. If my sister got angry and knocked out my tooth, her very bad action doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me. We say someone doesn’t live someone to make it easier for us to leave but ultimately we should understand love isn’t everything a man can sleep with other women but then run into a burning building to save his wife the same day- ultimately though his actions in cheating aren’t good and she should decide wether or not his love is worth it.

Plot twist: he just found out he has a kid from his days of cheating and he needs to come clean. He's rolling it out slowly...

@sandras2479

5 ай бұрын

Sin always has consequences!

@LadyJoolree

5 ай бұрын

That's a definite plot twist! Also he said she doesn't know any of his APs, but some of them were from high school - and they got married at 18? Yeah, she knows! Maybe one of them has moved to their area and wifey goes to the same gym/hobby group.

@Berserk1Manga

4 ай бұрын

​@@sandras2479*correction* lack of birth control always has consequences.

@Metyourmatch

4 ай бұрын

@@Berserk1Manga no. Where men put their sperm is their responsibility not the womans.

@dmsviola1

3 ай бұрын

​@@Berserk1Manga Nah. *Sin* always has consequences. You really think cheating with EIGHTT different people an untold amount of times will have NO negative impact on the lives of those involved? Pregnancy is just ONE possible consequence.

The audacity of this guy to portray himself as a victim.

@Astro95Media

Жыл бұрын

That happens invariably with cheaters. My ex-wife blamed me for her affair with a kid from her work and the resulting divorce in which she lost everything. They will NEVER see themselves as the problem. It just doesn't happen.

@dhritikapoor2897

Жыл бұрын

I really didn’t think he portrayed himself as a victim

@b.1162

Жыл бұрын

I never take a cheater's side and I don't think he portrayed himself as a victim. Surprised by it, in fact, because it is so common. I just think he didn't have the emotional maturity to comprehend exactly how life-altering being cheated on is. It's the death of two people.

@Astro95Media

Жыл бұрын

@@b.1162 I think he’s doing so by talking about how keeping the secret is affecting him, rather than by grieving how his actions will affect his wife. That’s what’s bothering a lot of people listening.

@b.1162

Жыл бұрын

@@Astro95Media Sure, but that's because he doesn't know how it will affect her. All he knows is how he feels. He's definitely lacking in empathy, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't recognize that she's the real victim in all this.

It makes me truly want to vomit that people can cheat once, twice, any amount of times, and then come home and kiss their spouse and lay down next to them in bed. How sickening. I've been through it and I just....... ugh, prayers for this man and definitely his wife.

@alstroemeria227again4

Жыл бұрын

Yes! And the possibility of giving her a disease. It’s so terrible. This man does not love this woman.

@monettevalliere

Жыл бұрын

So sickening!

@LisaLisaCJ

Жыл бұрын

What’s sickening is how many married people actually believe their spouse is faithful. I started getting std tests when I was married because the reality is you may be faithful but your spouse may it be. My inbox, dms are always married men. And like I said earlier my ex husband has a harem. So if you are married and think your husband isn’t sticking it elsewhere you are delusional

@seadragon1456

Жыл бұрын

@@LisaLisaCJ I concur! My husband drills for oil internationally and A LOT of the married guys he works with cheat. Full blown crazy segs. The guys throw week long family vacations where are the rednecks bring all their toys and brag once a summer. I told my husband that I couldn’t go knowing how dirty some of those men were. He may have to talk to them but I don’t. I don’t want to know their wives and kids and hear about all the stuff the guy does while overseas. It’s so hush hush between the guys and I know to much to keep my mouth shut. I would encourage every married woman to get tested if their man works out of state.

@TheAustrianPainter87

Жыл бұрын

Meh. A man is as faithful as his options

You kill someone and you're a "murderer" forever. Same with cheating.

@LibertyFixxxer

Жыл бұрын

unforgiveness is destructive

@veggiedumplinn

11 ай бұрын

Also forgiving a cheater (to the point of staying) is setting yourself up to be cheated on again

@TuBui2

11 ай бұрын

@@LibertyFixxxerYes, true. But forgiving is purely for yourself. it doesn't release the cheater from being accountable for their actions, i.e. being recognized as a cheater. .

@LibertyFixxxer

11 ай бұрын

@@TuBui2 Yes, but for how long? If someone repents of their sin, turns away from it, then you can no longer throw their sin in their face. No I am not saying this man has, but if he genuinely has, then throwing it in his face is evil.

@garxgar

10 ай бұрын

Literally the dumbest thing i've ever heard. Would you rather be cheated on or murdered? Also, statements like that literally remove any incentive for a cheater to stop. Why bother if you're just gonna be labeled a cheater forever anyway?

Cheating, to me, is an act of hatred. If you love someone, you don't do something that breaks their heart and causes emotional and mental anguish. You don't put their health at risk. You don't lie and conceal things.

@Meltyfairy

11 ай бұрын

Well said

@cindy03709

9 ай бұрын

Even thought you are right. The way people grow up sometimes it is what they know as love. As long as people change and grow I think everyone deserves to be forgiven

@beelarehman5992

8 ай бұрын

I agree. Cheating can bring death to your partner. Its an act of hatred and violence.

@tealeafs3824

5 ай бұрын

Cheaters never think about their partners, but how to NOT get caught. Is not personal, is who they are. So they don't hate you, they just don’t give a f about you. I know a lot of cheaters, and from my observations there are two type of cheaters: -the sex addict. -the one that wants to run away from responsabilities. I was married to the latter and I divorced him. I don’t know where I had the strenght from but I did it. Women aren't better when comes to cheating ofc.

@kool-aid_man160

3 ай бұрын

Yeah, actions speaks louder than words

If they are approximately 26, the best thing is to split up and start over. They're still young, and she deserves better. It's devastating, but if they have no kids, now's the time to make that move.

@ambertorres5358

Жыл бұрын

You are spot on. I was thinking the same thing. I am a Holy Spirit filled believer in Christ but cheating is a Biblical out so bye bye bye 👋 . 26 is SUPER young. You have your whole life ahead of you at that point. A decade together is relatively short in comparison to their life expectancy. Next time, she will hopefully choose wisely…. there are always situations that reveal a person’s character. I have no doubt he displayed red flags in the beginning that she rationalized.

@terriesmith2616

Жыл бұрын

I really dislike the term "she deserves better" , "he deserves better". There is no such thing as we deserve better. *"In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we are willing to tolerate"* -Tony Robbins

@Gabster1990

Жыл бұрын

It doesn't matter if they are young or old, it's unacceptable to cheat.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

Yeah at 26 time is still on your side. I would say at 35 time is on your side. 40 and up probably not.

@blueseptember2174

Жыл бұрын

​@@STMARTIN009what about 39 😅

Wife needs to take out the trash.

This guy is a narcissist and he only wants to confess to clear his concious. 🤨

@WendyH10

3 ай бұрын

Except narcissist don’t feel guilt.

@nataliabusko1432

3 ай бұрын

@@WendyH10actually narcissists feel guilt and shame that’s why they create a mask and that’s why they need a supply

@WendyH10

3 ай бұрын

@@nataliabusko1432 don’t you need empathy to feel?

@nataliabusko1432

3 ай бұрын

@@WendyH10 empathy is about feeling other people emotions. They don’t need empathy to feel their own emotions and being all sorry about their own little pathetic asses

@WendyH10

3 ай бұрын

@@nataliabusko1432 thank you for the clarification.

If you want to cheat don’t marry or have a partner. Cheaters put their spouses lives at risks of getting life changing diseases, this should be counted as a crime 😑

@firstlast9916

9 ай бұрын

As long as there is no financial investment in the mistress, then it should not affect a family. That’s why Japanese culture accepts the geisha as a legitimate profession.

@MT-.

8 ай бұрын

Agreed 💯If we get biblical Cheating was considered breaking the law and a man/woman's life would be taken if they were caught because that's how revolting this act was.

@djlivvy46

5 ай бұрын

​@@firstlast9916- how do geishas make a living if there is no financial investment involved?

@firstlast9916

5 ай бұрын

Fifty dollars is not a financial investment. 1 million dollars is a financial investment.

@djlivvy46

5 ай бұрын

@@firstlast9916 - but my question still stands.

I’ve been in my relationship for 5 years and we’ve been married for 2 years. How the heck do people find time/opportunities to cheat. I don’t even talk to other women outside of church/work. But just from a sexual energy standpoint I don’t have anything left. Like I literally cannot fathom how I would find the time/energy to pursue that and hide it from my wife it seems like so much work to live your life this way

@maybug88

Жыл бұрын

My friend literally spent his entire day on the field and still had the time to have a mistress on the side of the road. And a second baby on the way. People make time for what they deem important 🤷‍♀️

@donaldlyons17

Жыл бұрын

@@maybug88 Not so sure about how that works!!! He and your friend seem very able so it likely is not work for them!!!

@couchtater4621

Жыл бұрын

@@maybug88 So, what exactly do people like this deem important, other than what they want. Obviously being cruel, callous, selfish cowards don't seem to bother them.

@mxusa8383

Жыл бұрын

There’s always time. You’re kidding yourself if you think otherwise. I get the impression he was paying for sex mostly. I could be wrong though. Paying would require little to no emotional effort and time to seal the deal.

@mxusa8383

Жыл бұрын

There’s always time. You’re kidding yourself if you think otherwise. I get the impression he was paying for sex mostly. I could be wrong though. Paying would require little to no emotional effort and time to seal the deal.

He isn't brave or wise; he just wants to make himself feel better. All he talks about are his feelings and how he is afraid of the consequences of his actions. He never mentions how she feels or how her life will be affected. Also, telling her in a letter is the coward's way out. He should have to look her in the face and tell her that he broke their vows with 8 people. What a dirtbag.

@Aristaifly

Жыл бұрын

No question he is a scumbag but he only can talk about his feelings not hers. You have no idea what she feels. Maybe she want an escape, maybe she cheated 9 times, maybe she has a lover right now, maybe it opens up for her to experience with others, there just so many may be's.

@Ansmousoeesoj

Жыл бұрын

Well said

@EmpressMermaid

Жыл бұрын

Very well said. I think he's still very immature, too. Maybe should have waited until he was grown up to marry.

@karenKristal

Жыл бұрын

If she leaves him, imagine him attempting to get another relationship. Hes got no effing chance unless he just hides it for the rest of his life. Which kind of puts him in a similar situation in the future.

@NatureFreak1127

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. I didn't like how John handled this at all. Or maybe he just wanted for him to reveal the truth for her sake. So he basically buttered him up to do it. I hope she leaves him.

As soon as he started listing his reasons for quitting cheating on his wife, all I heard was "I this, I that, me, me and me". I was so glad Dr. Delony pointed that out.

He isn’t just a cheater he is a sociopath. This man genuinely scares me.

@grandthanks

Ай бұрын

If you truly believe that, you need to talk to a good therapist. Life is knotty and gnarly, and human beings are the same. If this man can follow the advice given this could be the making of both of them (either together or separately). I’m so glad Delony exists… we need more grown up grown ups on the internet x

Now imagine the hellfire if this were a woman admitting to cheating 8 times.... This guy is really something else.

@ambertorres5358

Жыл бұрын

I don’t blame men for this I blame women who let their love for a person cloud their judgement of whether they should remain in relationship with someone capable of such deception. We say it’s ego but men don’t abandon their deal breakers, I never have and I never will but a lot of women do. It’s extremely important to make rational and wise decisions- you can listen to your gut (intuition) but don’t act on emotion.

@Evil-Rod-Farva

Жыл бұрын

Delony would blame it on the dude because he wasn’t doing dishes or rubbing her feet.

@omowhanre

Жыл бұрын

@@Evil-Rod-Farva are you incel-adjacent?

@Evil-Rod-Farva

Жыл бұрын

@@omowhanre are you misandrist-adjacent? Sounds like you consider men who don’t get to mate beneath you. Involuntary celibate men wouldn’t have enough experience with women or marriage to make the comment I did. Your comment is just more of the same shaming tactics people use whom have nothing original or important to say or a valid argument. Delony and the Ramsey family are generally far more harsh critics of men than they are women. If you’re smart enough to realize they do that for $ and clicks you’ll understand why I made the comment I did.

@omowhanre

Жыл бұрын

@@Evil-Rod-Farva Interesting 🧐

Cheating is a deal breaker in my marriage. I was cheated on many times before I met my husband and I know for a fact that he'd never do that to me, but if he did it would instantly be over. It would rip my heart out. I won't allow myself to be treated like that. My ex gave me an STD and still denied cheating on me. As if I'm stupid. That's not happening to me again. Be a man, tell her what you did and be prepared for a divorce.

@jenn8179

Жыл бұрын

Same thing happened to my sister. He tried to tell her the STD was somethimg else. He's a real POS.

@yemialemu9902

Жыл бұрын

Smh! I agree let her just divorce u she deserves better! My thing is why get married if u feel like stepping out.

@Lala89856

Жыл бұрын

I got an std while pregnant and my fiance denied it

@lindatorresinmotion5431

Жыл бұрын

@@Lala89856 Please dont marry this man, pregnacy is such a emotional time women dont deserve to be cheated on at all, but least during this time. And putting your health and the babys in jeopardy is heartless.

@Lala89856

Жыл бұрын

@@lindatorresinmotion5431 Yeah, I didn't marry him. I moved out with my child and he played the victim which I expected it from him. I have peace now:)

Cheating is never worth it. If the relationship is dead, leave.

The cheating isn’t going to hurt her half as much as the deception is

What WIFE?....dude, you don't have any wife. Lost her at cheat #1.

@jasenkavukelic5047

4 ай бұрын

Love this comment!

@kimberlyfloyd1009

3 ай бұрын

@@jasenkavukelic5047 ME TOO!!!

@arfriedman4577

3 ай бұрын

This is so true.

@asenciolosangeles6778

3 ай бұрын

I bet she didn't leave him haha

She may eventually forgive him for her own sake, but she’ll never forget. The marriage is ruined. Best hope for a chance at happiness is to move on, separately.

@bobberry1463

Жыл бұрын

I won't say it ruin ppl can change

@leegalloway9508

Жыл бұрын

True. one woman i know that her husband cheated on her said she just couldn't get over the fact that he continued to lie to her. every time she asked him if he cheated and looked her right in the eye and said no. she said if he had been honest she could have forgiven him. men just can't accept the fact that they did something like that to the love of their life and they feel like a failure that's part of the reason they don't confess, some of them don't because they want to continue with the deception, but most decent men, i think , lie because of them failing you. they think in their tiny minds that what she doesn't know won't hurt her. soooo wrong!

@BigSeanH

Жыл бұрын

@@leegalloway9508 Monogamy isn't normal for males, and we get shamed for cheating... So why would we be honest? Women are too insecure to accept the truth.

@angelganggirl

Жыл бұрын

@@BigSeanH be single if you can’t control yourself CHILD

@BigSeanH

Жыл бұрын

@@angelganggirl Are you retarded?

What I hate about this situation is that she doesn't have a choice if she wants to stay in this relationship and her time is being wasted by a selfish man.

@matinaki1644

22 күн бұрын

This is what cheaters enjoy after all. Cheating you out of your agency, out of your time and decency. Even health.

I don't agree with "bringing it back to the present" he is in no position to dictate how the conversation goes. She has a right to get answers and decide what she needs to know.

@amberparedes875

11 ай бұрын

My thoughts exactly. That was poor advice IMO.

@juliezork7425

4 ай бұрын

As both a Marriage & Family therapist AND someone who lived the experience of a cheating husband, I can tell you that less is more. First off, listen again as John said to not go back “yet” and then later said there would be time for those “what happened back then” conversations at another time. Second point from me is this: once you hear it, you can’t ever unhear it. A cheater giving the details of when, how, where, what positions, the likes/dislikes, and every other specific detail will only give more “trigger points” for the cheated-on one down the road (i.e. “I can not see the sign for a Holiday Inn without thinking of you cheating,” “I can never go to that ice cream shop again”). This creates forever-mind-games. There also is the absolute fact that these questions just beg more questions and there will NEVER be an answer that is satisfactory, one that gets the victim to heal faster/better. And, because dishonesty is such a part of cheating there is doubt cast over every answer (“are they even telling me the truth in this moment?”). I’ve seen it too many times where a victim wanted “to know everything” and kept digging, kept going back to the details, and felt they had a right to know EVERYTHING, and ultimately remained immobilized to personally move on, whether they stayed in the marriage or not. I believe that the most important question to be answered by the victim is “can I get to the point (or back to it) of trusting this person again and am I going to stay in the relationship?” And he needs to decide if he can stay? (This is where therapy comes in handy). Whether this guy cheated one time, with one person multiple times, or with eight people…the specifics don’t matter. What’s important is that he was NEVER faithful to her, can he truly take responsibility and repent, and can he be different going forward? And can a relationship of trust be established? She deserves to be in a relationship where she implicitly trusts him and he deserves to be in one where he is trusted. If not…eroded every time!

@Joey007ist

4 ай бұрын

He didn’t say to never discuss the details about past. More just to let the facts digest first, then discuss the information once it sinks in. It keeps the initial discussion from being even more destructive and harmful than it already is.

@tonyamedsker213

3 ай бұрын

@@juliezork7425been there as well and when I had this conversation... I told him he had 1 chance to finish the conversation and if and ONLY IF HE ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION I HAD AND I DIDNT WANT HIM JUDGING WHAT WOULD HURT TO MUCH FOR ME TO KNOW!! It was THE HARDEST CONVERSATION WE EVER HAD BUT HE GAVE ME EVERYTHING I ASK FOR AND AS INSANE AS THIS WILL SOUND I HAD TO RESPECT HIM FOR HIS HONESTY AT THAT POINT... IT WAS NOT EASY BUT I SAID ID FORGIVE HIM ... and I did/have but forgetting well that takes time and consistency... People are different in how they handle things... so I think it should ABSOLUTELY be up to the person that was cheated on... just my opinion.

@cu1728

3 ай бұрын

@@juliezork7425I was with you until you said he deserves to be in a relationship where he is trusted. He deserves it from someone he has not cheated on. If he has cheated on that person, he is not entitled to their trust but must earn it.

I have a STRONG aversion to cheaters. And 8 different people? I hope she leaves and finds someone who deserves her.

@thatboyruut2169

Жыл бұрын

Same !

@l-train7876

Жыл бұрын

Does anyone NOT have a strong aversion to cheaters though??

@Immigrantlovesamerica

Жыл бұрын

This infuriates me so much. This guy keeps her around for 8 years despite cheating on her time and time again. Now she wasted 8 years of her life loving a fraud. I would be okay with him serving time for it.

@dr.jenniferma3914

Жыл бұрын

I also find it highly unlikely that he was cheating THAT much and isn't cheating now. Sounds like an addiction. Some people love "affair" sex best.

@arpansaha8769

Жыл бұрын

Same goes for me too. I just can't stand those selfish assholes who justify their cheating behaviour and play the victim card. We deserve honesty and transparency in any relationship.

If his wife has any self-esteem and courage, this marriage is over once he discloses this.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

She doesn't. That's why hes going to tell her. He knows she won't leave. Because he knows she already knows

@terriesmith2616

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. 🎯🎯🎯 Once he tells her, if the wife won't tolerate his cheating, then she'd leave for sure. Any woman with any self esteem and courage would never tolerate this type of behavior. But I have a feeling his wife will tolerate his cheating and continue to stay with him because he already said she left him once but continues to take him back. She won't leave and he knows, that's why he's telling her. We hear women call into the show all the time to complain about their husbands cheating on them but these same women refuse to do anything about it.

@lucianaromulus1408

Жыл бұрын

I feel horrible for the men and women that have such low self esteem that they'd tolerate cheating. No one should tolerate cheating

@BigSeanH

Жыл бұрын

@@lucianaromulus1408 Not everyone is monogamous... Why should your personal standard be imposed on everyone?

@lucianaromulus1408

Жыл бұрын

@seanh8521 it's not a personal standard, it's a CIVILIZATION standard. Non monogamy has historically only been practiced by low IQ peoples. It's a sign of regression

Husband: I cheated on you 8 times please forgive me it will never happen again Wife: Well I cheated that one time when… Husband: (Angrily) What? I can’t believe you would do this to me! It’s over! I want a divorce!

@BigSeanH

Жыл бұрын

Men and women aren't the same... so, yeah?

@ericadavenport2039

Жыл бұрын

What cave did you just crawl out of? Are you saying its alright for men to cheat? Or are you saying men are less forgiving? Or are you saying women should forgive mens trash behavior but a man doesn't have to?

@BeautyIsMyLife

Жыл бұрын

@@BigSeanH so boring 😴

@BigSeanH

Жыл бұрын

@@BeautyIsMyLife Low IQ

@BeautyIsMyLife

Жыл бұрын

@@BigSeanH I'm sorry you have a low IQ.

I lived this conversation 13.5 years ago. Everything still is “before the affair” and now. It’s as marked as my kid’s birthdays. He lied, I had to find out the truth. I’ll never have respect for him…never.

@kimberlyfloyd1009

3 ай бұрын

Same here! Went through this too. It was so enraging finding out and my respect left the building for my husband. I could never look at him the same. We are divorced and he can have his own karma now. I am out of the way.

@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607

3 ай бұрын

I hope you left

@Shenanigan45

20 күн бұрын

That’s how I feel about my husband

This guy is a piece of work putting it lightly.

@MsChantae

10 ай бұрын

something is wrong with him

@stuff1784

9 ай бұрын

LMAO! Yep!!!!

@dinajones2761

8 ай бұрын

@@MsChantaeagreed

@juliaarambula3153

8 ай бұрын

Definitely. Straight Pig.

He loves attention, and now he's getting it by making this call. As soon as the attention endorphin wares off, he'll go right back to seeking another thrill while protecting (lying) what he wants to be his foundation (wife). This guy will struggle his whole life with being "somebody"

@pizzacook84

Жыл бұрын

And I think Dr. John gives him a play book of what to say and when to shut up. Hasn't this girl been manipulated enough by her own husband? He should have hung up on him and called her and set her free

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

Amen!

@nbobbyn09

9 ай бұрын

I agree 100% and I don’t believe for one second he stopped cheating. No way.

@jessicacarmen2458

8 ай бұрын

I was thinking the same thing... you haven't told ANYONE and the first person you tell is a radio show where the whole country is listening? This isnt normal. This is him being a coward because he knows Deloney's not going to rip him a new one, even though he definitely deserves it

@michelledavidson1781

5 ай бұрын

The whole past was a lie. So yes, that's exactly why she will (feel like) know it was. This host is telling him to keep bringing the conversation to the present. That is gaslighting at its finest. He should be ashamed of his suggestion. It shows that he is also "just a man" and should be the last person giving advice to another man concerning a woman. The narcissist leading the narcissist. This is psychological manipulation (dark psychology). He being a psychologist is well aware of this being a classic narcissistic tactic. Men are born doing this. They live in their ego. He was lying from the start. She was basing all her decisions on his lies and he knew that. And he knows exactly what he was doing or else he would have admitted it when it first happened and not chosen marriage coming with the lies. None of their whole past was real. It was all an illusion that he purposely allowed her to live in. Hopefully she follows her heart and soul and leaves. Her heart was already his, and he repeatedly disregarded and disrespected the gift of love that he was entrusted with. He didn't want her love he was emotionally and physically running away from it. Now his guilt is eating him up so he's now needing absolution. I personally hope she realizes there is no closure with a narcissist. I hope she leaves, files for divorce, and blocks him completely. No tears he can see because he waited so long to admit the truth. He made sure that the damage would be as evil as possible and would hurt as much as possible. And would turn the knife in the back further upon her knowing it was always this way. I don't believe he stopped cheating for the last 5 years. Not for a narcissist who needs constant validation of his ego.

Ive been single for ages and cant even meet anyone. Where do people find 8 people??

@Musicienne-DAB1995

Жыл бұрын

Yes, LOL!

@Hatbox948

5 ай бұрын

Hook up sites like Ashley Madison.

@Molly_Belle

5 ай бұрын

They don’t meet up for relationships, they meet up for sex. Sex and relationships are two totally different things. If you put yourself out there as easy with no strings attached, you could hook up quickly.

@EinDahl

Ай бұрын

Low hanging fruit is easier to pick.

@kkarli874

27 күн бұрын

It’s easy to find 8 messed up people to cheat with, it’s difficult to find a nice person.

He had such a lack of respect for his wife, I don't know how you come back from that

@user-hr1ql2fu3f

2 ай бұрын

How could she ever stomach being intimate with him again. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

Notice when Delony says "do not lie" the answer is "sure" and then *absolute silence* until Delony moves on to the next thing. Guaranteed he's lying about something bigger now and telling the truth about the cheating is just throwing her a bone to make a show of his "honesty" while dragging her self-esteem through the gutter. I pray she gets far away from him and never has the misfortune of contact with him again. Hopefully he hasn't racked up a bunch of gambling debts to dump on her.

@a.r.8954

5 ай бұрын

I strongly agree. There's no way that his guilty conscience 'suddenly' kicked in after all this time. Something motivated this.

@buuny2233

5 ай бұрын

​@@a.r.8954He has an illegitimate kid probably

@Michael-eg5xv

2 ай бұрын

Yeh I get the vibe someone else knows. I reckon he did it with her friends and he making this call to make it look like it was killing him all this time. He’s doing this so he can send her this call to show how much he cared. He peaked in his 20 and I bet she had a glow up.

@jillmortlock8439

26 күн бұрын

Is there a child he wants his wife to raise?

No John. You're. Wrong. If she wants answers he needs to give them to her. If he doesn't give her the info she wants she won't move on.

@bwari01

5 ай бұрын

Don’t underestimate her. She can move on by creating closure a different way. Narcissists DO NOT give closure, they share to cause pain to the other and relief their guilt.

@tonyamedsker213

3 ай бұрын

Yes you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!

@grandthanks

Ай бұрын

It’s interesting that you’re saying John wrong while also saying the same thing John is saying… no shade/judgement… very interesting.

This is a textbook lesson on how critically important it is to intentionally and intelligently pick a mate. This guy cheated in dating. He was never going to change. And I guarantee there were warning signs all along the way.

@LisaLisaCJ

Жыл бұрын

Yes but women are taught by society he will change and oh he confessed he cared because he told me.. I was that young bride. 18. He “ almost cheated” when we dated and I thought his telling me was being honest and he cared. 26 years and four kids later that man has so many secrets and lies and cheating and other lives it’s literally destroyed my whole sense of self. I no longer trust anyone. I cannot be married to anyone. This caller needs to take his disgusting self and move on

@l-train7876

Жыл бұрын

@@LisaLisaCJ women are naught taught by society that men will change.

@blueseptember2174

Жыл бұрын

@@LisaLisaCJ yes, so true. It's a long uphill battle to finding healthy coping mechanisms and joy.

@decoraqueena6413

Жыл бұрын

You hear that ladie? men never lie, change or keep secrets. Use your psychic powers wisely.

@deirdrekiely6187

11 ай бұрын

@@LisaLisaCJ Society doesn't teach women that. Women are just so IN LOVE that they ignore big red flags that are obvious to the rest of mankind.

Sex addiction is probably the saddest addiction that exists bc it literally cuts the other spouse to the core. 💔

@hix9306

Жыл бұрын

Some people don’t know they even got a problem

@redbrexit2912

11 ай бұрын

Yeah, you can diagnose any dispicabale behaviour now and blame it on a disease not on your scumbag caracter

@owl4260

11 ай бұрын

It's also a cheap excuse for people who cheat... More often than not, the problem is not addiction, but insecurity, attention-seeking, etc.

@mrjonsey

9 ай бұрын

@@owl4260it’s not that deep. Some men are just really horny and have no business being a relationship.

He doesnt love her...

@westword6558

Жыл бұрын

Magnanimous relationships are unnatural but we all mostly engage in them

@lilsamantha1

Жыл бұрын

@@westword6558 ammm if a man really like u he wont cheat....

@westword6558

Жыл бұрын

@@lilsamantha1 if you like a person you don’t have sexual attraction to anyone else?

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

@@westword6558 Speak for yourself. A lot of us are perfectly capable of not cheating on our partners.

@westword6558

Жыл бұрын

@@veracityhunter7777 yea we do but its unnatural

Why, why stay married? Why put another human through that risking their health and happiness for your own selfishness? This is absolutely awful.

He is too intellectually shallow to know how this would affect her. He should stay moved on and let her find true love.

What a piece of work, he’s not remorseful at all. How can John stomach even talking to a guy like this

It sketched me out from the jump "my current wife"

@katrina3560

Жыл бұрын

Good point, that was not addressed. How many wives are under his belt, I wonder.

@lynnebucher6537

Жыл бұрын

I caught that too and thought it was an odd choice of words.

@Musicienne-DAB1995

Жыл бұрын

I heard that too.

@faithinthejourney6409

5 ай бұрын

I took it as he’s afraid when he admits to her after the conversation, she will not beat his wife. It’s him speaking his fear of what the conversation will change within their relationship status.

@ember13dp

3 ай бұрын

He said they married at 18, he can't have had a former wife. Weird choice of words.

My knees buckled and I felt nauseous when he said 8 different people and I'm not even married to him. WHAT!!! I feel so bad for his wife.

A person who pathologically lies and betrays the trust of his/her partner is not worth keeping. Who knows what else you can uncover from such a person who lacks empathy.

8 times in 3 years???? Who has the time?

@blueseptember2174

Жыл бұрын

Seriously aren't they busy or tired? They got nothing else going on? I'd rather take a nap or vacation.

@caseyhill636

Жыл бұрын

Right?!? He’s clearly in his 20’s 😂

@cynthiaholland13

5 ай бұрын

Eight different people in 3 years. Probably 20 times with each person. So maybe 160 times in 3 years.

@ethan4048

5 ай бұрын

@@cynthiaholland13 having sex that much isn’t impressive. Being able to hide and put all the effort into communication over that three years is exhausting.

@louiseyvette2261

4 ай бұрын

​@@cynthiaholland13IKR? Wtf!!

Him telling her is not brave, it’s actually cowardice. If he actually has not cheated in years, then what is the driving force of telling her all of this now? It is eating him up inside that he is living a lie and he wants to relieve his own conscience and live normally. The second that he tells her, he gets to have this off of his chest and he’ll feel relief, but her world will get turned upside down and she will realize that she has been living a lie for the last eight years. And realize that she never knew this man.

@nicolab2075

Жыл бұрын

But if he wants to come clean, what else can he do but tell her? Do you think it would be better never to tell?

@theluckienurse

Жыл бұрын

@@nicolab2075 no, she deserves to know… It sucks because the best case scenario would be that he didn’t cheat, but he can’t go back in time. But he does need to be honest with her and himself in the fact that him telling her now is not an act of him maturing or finally being selfless. It is another act of selfishness that will mostly benefit him. Even if she does kick him out, he can eventually go and find a relationship with somebody else while she is stuck with trust issues. If they stay together, his conscience is clear and he gets to keep his marriage, and again she has trust issues and self-esteem issues. Even if the consequences of his actions suck in the short term after telling her, she is still the one that suffers in the long term.

@gmarie3053

Жыл бұрын

She WILL find out 1 day. That’s a guarantee. He can now control wether she lives 8 years in a lie or 18.

@joymattson8549

Жыл бұрын

well, possibly so she has a choice to stay with him? I'd certainly want to have the option to make up my mind if I wanted to stay with someone who cheated (and decided to possibly put my health at risk) - so it's much more cowardly to NOT tell her.

@joymattson8549

Жыл бұрын

and you're a NURSE?? You didn't even consider that he might have infected her with an STD??

What a disgusting excuse of a husband. I hope she takes him for all he’s got.

I don’t think he’s done cheating on her. Hope he does tell her. That’s the least he can do. She deserves so much more than this guy.

So can we now say that he's for the streets? I'm curious to know what the righteous men in this comment section who crucify women for a tiny infraction have to say about this? The accountability masters.

@melanieb2132

Жыл бұрын

He belongs to the streets!

@d.c.d.8985

Жыл бұрын

Lmao 🤣 crickets 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

@tjmcavoy-jensen871

Жыл бұрын

Well he’s a scumbag, he made a vow, a promise as a man to devote his life to her and only her and he broke it, and for that he is scum. He shouldn’t have got married and taken vows if he didn’t want to spend his whole life with only her, this is what I’m gonna do so I can never be a cheater

@Nah-ah

Жыл бұрын

🎶 🎵 🎼 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

That was my first thought. He's for the streets!!!!

I feel for his wife just sad

@debbiekoenig7376

Ай бұрын

And the children.

When he said “my current wife” less than a min into the call…😂😂

@annacooper7677

Ай бұрын

Confused.. sounds like this is his ONLY wife but saying current makes me think he was married before. But he said they got married since he was 18 so that doesn’t make sense. Man. He’s…a lot.

Why would someone be in a monogamous relationship if they cheated 8 times?

@prncessbaby16

Жыл бұрын

Exactly and he was cheating on her while they were dating so I'm not sure why he even married her, just to continue cheating.

@Musicienne-DAB1995

Жыл бұрын

Presumably because they want the benefits of a monogamous relationship (stability, higher personal satisfaction, and easier access to sex) without any of the responsibilities.

@kimberlyfloyd1009

3 ай бұрын

Narcissists like the "reflection" of normalcy and a good woman in public. Meanwhile, like to cheat with garbage because they are the same types in reality.... It is all about having a good woman to come home to and then have the whole cake / eat it too... but it doesn't last forever.

0% chance this person does anything John said. He will keep this secret till the day he passes

@harmonee_76

Жыл бұрын

I think he’ll tell her so he can feel better and then she’ll carry the burden. All trust is gone, she’ll turn into the “unreasonably” angry one, which will help him justify more cheating to himself. Hopefully, she’ll divorce and move on.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

He will likely get it off his chest on his deathbed.

@jongault7527

Ай бұрын

Once he came back into the marriage 5 years ago and hasn't cheated since, ask yourself. "What will this really accomplish now?"...If he never intends to repeat his infidelity, it will only cause her pain so he can unburden his conscience... Maybe carrying this guilt in silence the rest of his life should be his punishment. Then again, I would want to know...

I hope she broke it off...nothing worse than your man swapping fluids with another woman and bringing that back home to you...makes me nauseous to think about. I would never want to be touched by said man again and not a thousand sorry would make me want to be with him again. Not the kids, not the home, nothing would make me forgive such a heinous act.

He's not sorry. He only wants to have her carry the load of actions 👎

Me and my CURRENT wife was all that i needed to hear.

My Dad would unalive him first, then ME, if I took him back. Nuts.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

Lolololol

@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607

3 ай бұрын

Unalive??? You mean kill?? Jfc

@valdes77

3 ай бұрын

@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607kill is such a pointy word

8 times????? One time is too many. What do cheaters get out of a committed marriage??

@Astro95Media

Жыл бұрын

Support which they can't provide for themselves. My first wife was unfaithful with a kid from her store who couldn't provide for her while I was providing for her the whole time.

@gmarie3053

Жыл бұрын

Best of both worlds

@SaystheTruth3

Жыл бұрын

Love is blind & marriage opens the eyes.

@lexiegirl1494

Жыл бұрын

@@gmarie3053 I thought it was the worst of both worlds plus a side of STDs.

@lynnebucher6537

Жыл бұрын

My husband got a responsible adult who made sure the bills were paid and home taken care of, while he was gallivanting around trying to convince other women how great a guy he was.

Divorce. She deserves better.

I agree with everything he said except the part about bringing it back to the present. It’s extremely annoying and almost feels deceptive when a person doesn’t answer questions in a straight forward manner.

@ambertorres5358

Жыл бұрын

No one wants to feel like someone is keeping information from them. The truth, no matter how painful, is healing and absolutely beautiful. Even if healing takes place when you go your separate ways.

@b.1162

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, same. I think I understand why Dr J would advise that for his benefit, but if I'm the woman in that situation, and I was, it would have made me even angrier and definitely see it as him trying to avoid telling the whole truth. I think answering all her questions would be better, just so long as he doesn't volunteer information that she didn't ask for.

@missjackson2380

9 ай бұрын

That’s the part I hated too. I demanded my husband to answer every f*cking question I had, even though it was killing me everytime he answered. It started with “it was just a kiss” - “she touched my parts and I touched hers” to “we had sex on a grassy hill somewhere once” - to me finding out it was nearly a 2/3 month affair. To then me finding out he slept with 4 other women during his deployment in Kenya. I don’t know how I’ve survived to be really honest with you.

@firstlast9916

9 ай бұрын

The guy should just keep his mouth shut. Apologizing for this doesn’t benefit anybody. If he actually likes her he should be quiet. If he doesn’t like her then tell her so she can end the relationship. But if it’s a dead topic, just forget it. He is weak.

The John Wick world! I have had friends and guys that worked for me say, "if I caught my wife cheating, I will kill both of them". My response, you have no idea what you will do if you are put in that situation. I was married with 2 young children, my life was work 6 days a week and take care of the kids when i was not working. The ex worked part time job. One day when she was "at work", I got a call from a woman asking to speak to the ex, I said she is not here, she is at work. Two minutes later the woman called back and said, she is not at work, do you want to know where she is? And gave me the address where she was spending the night after laying out of work. I asked a family member to come watch the kids and I drove to that address. While driving, my first thoughts were, I have to stay calm and can't do anything stupid because the kids will be without a parents with their mother gone and I will be in prison. I got there to find her car behind his house. Knocked on the door, he opened the door with a surprised look and she was across the living room naked trying to get dressed. I told her to come outside, he said "she is not coming out and I have a shotgun behind this door saying she is not coming out". I told her again to come outside and told him, "if you reach for that gun, you will die where you stand". He yelled for her to go outside, she came out and he slammed to door staying inside. Same old story, "it's not what it looks like", even though I caught her naked trying to get dressed! I told her to come home and get her personal things and leave, she said she wasn't coming because she was scared. "I am driving home, if you are not there within 10 minutes of me getting there, I am coming back, going through that front door and destroying everyone in my path", she almost beat me home. Didn't take me long to figure out that a person that will hurt you like that, is not worth losing part of your life over.

@jasminegonzalez2007

Жыл бұрын

I 1x told the person, you and your things ought to be gone before I get home or you can pluck them out the dumpster. It looked like a tornado hit when I got home. The remnants were dumped as I promised. Doesn't matter how much you cry after, respect yourself. No1 who loves you and honors you, does that. They aren't even treating you as they would a friend. ✌

@chrism2042

Жыл бұрын

@@jasminegonzalez2007 - She done me a favor! Funny part was, she thought he had money to find out he was broke, without her income, his house was going into foreclosure. I went on the start 2 very successful businesses, raised the kids and life has been awesome. Within 2 years of the split, I was investing more annually than her and her boyfriend were making annually. Then, she sat there and cried like a baby wanting to make things work, I walked away laughing!

@katieblake3023

Жыл бұрын

Just wow....So sorry you went through this. The audacity of these cheaters is beyond me. Not to mention you showed great strength in control and restraint in that situation, I would've lost it! Garbage human beings. Good riddance!

@chrism2042

Жыл бұрын

@@katieblake3023 - A couple weeks after the split, I told her to come over and get anything in the house she wanted, but she had to come alone. She said she was bringing the boyfriend to help her, I made it very clear, if he steps foot in my yard I will kill him. She came over, running her mouth trying to start a argument, I just told her to get what she wanted and leave, she did. I never got closer than 10' to her that day. All evening the phone continued to ring, I didn't answer thinking it was her. Come to find out, it was the town magistrate calling to tell me to leave town for 48 hours, knowing him for years, he knew the ex was lying. She had went to the police department, said I threatened her and she was scared for her life! 1am 2 cops came to arrest me for domestic violence. We had to go to a domestic violence counselor, which would remove that from my record. I was there 5 minutes and the counselor said, "this will never go on your record, you don't have an issue, she needs serious help. Furthermore, I will tell the court if you had anger issues, both of them would had been dead the night you caught them." Funny part, a year later the boyfriend apologized. He said, if she had told me you were a veteran Army ranger, I would have never opened the door, much less threaten to pull a gun. Then thanked me for not killing him that night! I told him, it's all good. You wanted her, so now you deal with the slut when she screws around on you. And she did with multiple men! But all good, I got custody of the kids, raised them and life has been awesome!

@sofystacy5959

Жыл бұрын

@@chrism2042 I'm sorry you went through that. And I'm happy everything turned good for you.

Does he want the truth out or simply want to be kicked out? Yikes..."people from highschool and ya know, random people from the internet..." 8 of 'em.

what a selfish, selfish little man. i feel so sorry for his wife. 8 years is such a long time not to tell her about it. i hope she leaves your sorry ass and finds someone who will love her and respect her.

According to a sexual exposure chart, if he had 8 partners and if each of the 8 had the same numbers of partners, then he has exposed himself to 255 people. What is disturbing is that his wife had been exposed as well. He has no regard for his wife's health. What a jerk!!

@kelseyk530

2 ай бұрын

And in today's degenerate society, sleeping with 8 people is a very low body count so the 8 people he slept with dozens of times and those other 8 people are likely each with 30-100 people based on their age, promiscuity, slutty college years racking those bodies up makes me want to throw up that hypothetically he could've been exposed to 1,000+ sexual encounters with and between those 8 people.

@lilithowl

Ай бұрын

Lot of assumptions there, he may have had safe sex.

@matinaki1644

22 күн бұрын

​@@lilithowlthis is an assumption too 😂

@sp4cegrl27

13 күн бұрын

@@lilithowlcondoms aren’t always 100% effective.

Way too easy on him...

What what what??? Just tell her and be prepared to end your marriage. Dr. Delony, please don't laugh with him. There is no fun at all. Only when you have gone thru this you will understand how hurtful and how much damage do this to a human being. I don't agree with telling her how many times, that's terrible!! One hurts enough. Don't let her go thru that please. She most likely is suspicious but not to that extend. We know, trust me.

@truckingwithtobee

Жыл бұрын

You are absolutely correct. Dr. John should not be laughing with this man at all. I hope his wife leaves him. Being cheated on once is bad enough let alone eight times. My husband did this to me 3 years ago and I stayed and it’s been absolutely horrible. Because I’m so stressed out I continue to get shingles time after time. It’s because of stress. I’m actually having a tiny home built and I’m looking for land and I’m out of here. I can’t take it anymore. It has absolutely destroyed me.

@dianac1411

Жыл бұрын

It’s a form of raping one’s soul. Complete devastation!

@gmarie3053

Жыл бұрын

If you’re gonna break my heart, may as well tell me how many times and who with. I’d want to know before I never speak to you again

@dearbrave4183

Жыл бұрын

Why? Because she could forgive him thinking that it was less when she wouldn't have, had she known the exact number. So, the risk of finding out later can destroy everything , no matter the progress because it would be considered a lie. Trust issues flaring up again

@dearbrave4183

Жыл бұрын

@@truckingwithtobee I'm sorry. Being cheated on leads to insecurity, anxiety, hyper vigilance and bitterness. I have yet to meet a woman who stayed after learning about the affair who didn't have this.

My ex did all of that, apology, what I'm going to do to change, etc. Still continued to lie and cheat.

@Musicienne-DAB1995

Жыл бұрын

It sounds like compulsive behaviour.

@deirdrekiely6187

11 ай бұрын

the mistake is staying after you know what they did.

I don’t think it’s brave to come clean after 5 years, not counting the infidelity before the they were married. He wasted good years of her life letting her think she had a partner. If she’s smart, she’ll kick him to the curb and get on with her life for a change.

She might forgive him in time, but she will never forget it. They have a tough road ahead of them if they stay together.

If he said 8 times its really 24 times.

@madisonandthespirits

Жыл бұрын

Really?

@gooserich3970

Жыл бұрын

Yep

@Joel-pg4yi

Жыл бұрын

@@gooserich3970 how

@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607

Жыл бұрын

Oh 100 fucking %. If not more

If he loves her... he will let her go because it is best for her to cut her losses. She is only 26 she can start over easily. Accepting to work it out is selfish.

This is a bad person. He lacks character period. Cheating 8 times in 3 years is not a mistake. It’s a indictable character flaw.

Be a man and tell her straight up that you cheated on her. The potential of giving her STD is high, it's unfair to her to be exposed to that kind of risk. Once you admitted to her you cheated, now it's up to her if she wants to divorce you or work on the marriage. This guy is very selfish. He should've stayed single and not get into any type of relationship with any woman if he can't be faithful.

Random people he meets on the Internet LOL. He was actively looking to cheat on dating apps.

Does anyone else feel like the woman should be able to sue for intentionally inflicted emotional distress in this situation? Especially if she had kids with this "man"

@user-yz8ms5uy3c

5 күн бұрын

No

He’s about to find himself divorced. I think it’s pretty selfish to put your guilt on someone else and blow up their life. Only God can give you absolution.

@Psalm_27.4

4 ай бұрын

@TheMonsterRN Confession to the spouse is necessary. As badly as it hurts, it’s makes things worse to not confess. No marriage can go forward without the truth coming out. It’s a grand mess, and His wife will have to decide if she wants to stay in. She has total biblical freedom to divorce him and get remarried later, if she chooses. Time will tell what she decides.

@elizabethloyd3713

3 ай бұрын

He wants her to divorce so he can marry his next wife.

This will scar her for life.

@beaglerescue5281

5 күн бұрын

I would want to know. Truth is best. With the truth she can make good decisions for herself.

He wants her "100% trust" so he can satisfy some other thrill.

I love that you call him out. He doesn’t seem *genuinely sorry. It’s all about HIM not wanting to “lose the opportunity of having a family with her” after he realizes she’s a good woman and has been holding it down for him. He needs to let her go. There’s no fixing that. I don’t care what kind of therapy a person gets. It doesn’t ever truly go away and the fear that they will betray you again will remain in the back of your mind. ALL the time. Doesn’t matter how much you focus on yourself. This betrayal is shattering and the person who is betrayed will feel complete disorientation and a physical pain that accompanies the heartache. Let her go and let her heal and find someone better than you.

This dude is a real piece of work. He feels guilty and wants to dump that on his wife so she can be the one to deal with the pain. Selfish.

He needs to file for divorce and stay forever single. He clearly wants to sleep around. He should take on the financial cost of filing, not his spouse. That's a really sh1tty thing to do.

You are going to destroy her life just to make yourself feel better. Shame on you.

@saraandkoda

Жыл бұрын

he already treated her with utter disrespect. he should let her know so she can move on with a different person

@sparklesp9304

Жыл бұрын

He's already destroyed it.

@beaglerescue5281

5 күн бұрын

She deserves to know the truth about how despicable her “current” husband behaves behind her back.

I got rid of social media to get rid of any temptation as things can quickly escalate in those situations.

If John was as hard on people as I want him to be nobody would call in 😂

His accent and manners are deceiving .

@ilsevdg1194

2 ай бұрын

I could be dead wrong but my instincts say that there's something seriously off about this person (bigger problem than just cheating).

Hell, it has happened to a lot of us, probably most of us to some extent. Some of us have zero tolerance for this kind of foolishness and act accordingly.

As a wife, I’d be so disgusted that my husband was putting his putz into God knows who. Yuck. 🤢

@VelvetyMoon

3 ай бұрын

Right? I hope he has at least been careful...... ew.

Leave your wife alone. You dont even deserve to say her name. Ick.

I've been cheated on and sadly, and I'm extremely ashamed of it, but I have also cheated. As someone who has ben on both sides, in different relationships, it is much worse to be a cheater. The fake persona that you have crafted so carefully in your mind where you are such a good person is now totally destroyed. You hurt someone who loved you, you betrayed them and not only them but their family that was taking you in and also loving and caring for you. All of your mutual friends now think you're slime, and you are, and you can no longer claim any sort of moral standing. I cheated 24 years ago and I can tell you I will never do that again. You think you are just hurting one person but you actually destroy many lives. I felt like crap for years, long after she had forgiven me and moved on, remarried and was raising kids with her new husband and family. My advice to anyone in a serious relationship is that if you feel the need to cheat, DON'T. If you aren't happy in your current relationship then leave, but don't cheat until that relationship is totally over and settled. It's the kindest thing you can do. It's called respect and you'll never get any unless you give it first.

@AJK8144

7 ай бұрын

Good on you for learning and growing from your mistake and I wish you well on your healing journey. But what a self-centered thing to say that "being a cheater is much worse than being the one getting cheated on". All of those hurts as a cheater that you are describing are the consequences of your own actions. Good on your wife for moving on and living the happy life she deserves.

@1967davethewave

7 ай бұрын

@@AJK8144 I don't know how it is self centered to feel that me personally getting cheated on didn't make me feel nearly as bad as when I was the cheater? I wasn't referring to how my ex wife felt, I was talking about my own experience being on both sides. And I can tell you, I felt horrible when my ex wife cheated on me, betrayed and belittled, but I could lay it all on her. When I later cheated on her I felt as if I had gone against everything I stood for. I think you mistook my post to mean I was talking about other's feelings. I wasn't and I'm sure their feelings about things might be totally different than my perspective.

@PureJoySkinCareWaxStudio

5 ай бұрын

...but if you cheated, you have NO respect to begin with, so...

@annah995

4 ай бұрын

so true. But there are two kinds of people: One that learn from the experience and never do it again. And people who don't care (as long as the partner doesnt find out at least). I did cheat in a really unhealthy unhappy relationship and it destroyed me, I felt so bad. Found out much later my boyfriend cheated on me with different people (not just once) and after we broke up he continued to cheat all girlfriends after me, so I heard. It amazed me because I never cheated again and avoid all situations that could just slightly go into this direction, while he obviously figured that it's a great way to leave. I also have friends who cheated once and never again because they hated the experience. So if my husband would ever cheat - if it is once - and he really regrets it, I would forgive him thinking about my own experience, but never if he cheats multiple times and I also never would date anyone who cheated multiple times.

Every woman in Charleston married to a Steve is in deep contemplation.

Why didn't he just get a divorce? Cheaters are disgusting 🤮

Confessing ... doesn't mean he will stop. I'd still divorce him - as quickly as possible.

@CrownedbyShirley

2 ай бұрын

Agreed

As someone who was married for a 2nd time & divorced in 2002 but only recently found out he cheated on me with 15 different people(that he could remember), tell her. It hurts no matter how early or late she finds out. She probably has a clue as to you did cheat, but just not how many times or with how many. She deserves the truth , the ability to realize she was not the problem. She needs this to begin healing & moving on. She needs the closure. Let her ask all the questions she wants. Let her yell & scream if she needs. Leave the door open so she can come back & ask other questions later. My ex said he felt disconnected before we got divorced but would never have been the one to have said it was over. Funny enough, his name was Steve also. I was the one who reached out to him because I've been feeling stuck & this is part of why. Trust is a big deal with me & it's not fair for those in my future to be the held accountable for something in my past. They don't deserve to not be trusted if they haven't done anything wrong.