"My victim escaped, how do I get her back? I miss my litlle punching bag 😢"

@zammymynakersnackstbmoth

4 ай бұрын

Seriously. F this guy.

@lovelylipbonesouwwwwwwwolv2198

4 ай бұрын

For real! He doesn't see a human but a punching bag!

@tankdesign1

4 ай бұрын

Yep/

@jacquidanke1263

4 ай бұрын

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MY MOUTH SAID OUTLOUD! PISSED OFF ALERT. NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE!

@musicneurons7807

4 ай бұрын

​@jacquidanke1263 wait does he squally say these words? Like Is this a quote?

Men are so quick to ditch the wives if they cheat, but will expect women to forgive if they're being physically harmed by them. Unbelievable.

@Blakmagic88

4 ай бұрын

THIS!!!!

@user-dl1yv1ng7r

4 ай бұрын

Exactly

@veggieeater

4 ай бұрын

Oh they are very very quick with a vengence, and rightfully so. The frustrating part is the fact that women don't react this way.

@daniella8400

4 ай бұрын

@@veggieeaterexactly! I left my husband after cheating and encourage all women to do so because they don’t stop.

@kelloggs7447

3 ай бұрын

That was a powerful episode ❤

Never go back into a relationship with someone who spits in your face. That person hates you.

@THEREALBILL03

2 ай бұрын

💯💯💯💯

@Merell564

2 ай бұрын

YES!

@jojo2007ish

2 ай бұрын

That part

@monicadhenderson8670

2 ай бұрын

Absolutely!! To spit in someone’s face is horrific!!!

@iiAmStarFire_

2 ай бұрын

Me right now😢😢

As a DV emergency councilor, I feel the need to mention something. This bullshit? The crying, the begging, is glorified by romance books. He does not mean it. I’ve seen all kinds of abusers, police officers, doctors, and the like, fall all over themselves in court and in front of the survivor. It is always 110% of the time a manipulation tactic. True remorse is leaving you alone. True remorse is understanding you lost the relationship. Don’t buy it

@sthrnbll2u65

2 ай бұрын

@user-uc7vp2dx5k i have a question , where would a DV couselor be found?

@user-uc7vp2dx5k

2 ай бұрын

@@sthrnbll2u65 Most DV agencies in your city would have one or contact or the National DV Hotline

@MaanSelene

2 ай бұрын

Even before starting the actual conversation, this dude was throwing red flags around. The hyping John up, the saying how he was honored to talk to a fine man like John? Men don't do that, unless they want something from the other guy. In this case; sympathy.

@rachelm126

2 ай бұрын

This!!!

@skooflefloofandfriends4557

Ай бұрын

Exactly!

The truly repentant thing to do is to RESPECT HER DECISION TO LEAVE YOU.

@heatherbukowski2102

4 ай бұрын

Yep. Respect her wish for freedom.

@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066

3 ай бұрын

He needs to give her what she deserves! Her peace, and calm without him!!!

@user-jq4im6rw5p

3 ай бұрын

Hundred percent, bro.

@deirdremorris9234

3 ай бұрын

EXACTLY

@tegannottelling

3 ай бұрын

absolutely

Does anyone notice how these men are so respectful toward other men, but they just don't think as highly of women?

@Blakmagic88

4 ай бұрын

Yep! In general, I believe males do not respect females in the same way they respect other males. Their is usually an undercurrent of violence and sizing up with male interactions. By default women are not as strong/violent and therefor cannot force their will in the same manner.

@sommerfranklin9421

4 ай бұрын

Honestly I believe that these men don’t actually even like women let alone love them. Women are objects to these types of men. Possessions that belong to them. So they treat them as such. And when they get to whining or trying to get back with them is because they haven’t found someone else to take her place to mistreat. Plus they put in all that work to break down that woman and it’s easier to just harass her or manipulate her to come back than to start over 🤦🏽‍♀️. I know from experience

@Mytesmyth

4 ай бұрын

That’s cause y’all play too many games. Y’all literally ruined our mental health it’s not even funny. You try being dumped relationship after relationship and see if you have a positive outlook still. I was 14 when I made my first abusive act and it took me ten years to realize you females ain’t s***

@hopefulfilled9519

3 ай бұрын

Yes!!!! I see this all the time

@elithunder

3 ай бұрын

Depends on what circles you're running in. This is not true of "men", just some men. I guarantee you, the courtesy John was showing him was because he was on camera. The way he indicated what his inner circle of men would've done to him if he confessed what this man did is indicative of what most men would have done to this guy. There wouldn't be a need for respect, just painful accountability.

If this guy isn't the universal RED FLAG to all women who ever considered going back because he "changed". THIS IS THAT GUY. Listen closely ladies.

@Kristenoyinbo

2 ай бұрын

These demons never change.

@annmariemarin5513

2 ай бұрын

Amen!

@MaliCat2.0

2 ай бұрын

Yah 10 months in! Come onnnnn

@alladreamwedreamed

Ай бұрын

I feel so much compassion for his ex-wife. I hope she is feeling safe and supported as she puts the pieces together and moves on with her life.

@dahliacheung6020

Ай бұрын

@@annmariemarin5513John said it well when he stated that this man's wife is the poster of him at his worst and he wants to get her back to change that picture of him- but thankfully that's not his choice. I'm glad he also pointed out that no matter how impressive all the work he's done on himself in terms of therapy/weight loss/work that this guy is still entitled in relationships and has done ZERO work on this. This guy got some serious truth but that sigh he gave when John told him he couldn't do with work to get his trophy back... It was very telling. This was everything this guy needed to hear but I can't help feel he's not gonna take it, just because they rarely do.

My ex husband had the most amazing tansformative and spiritual turnaround after I left. I should have stayed gone. It was all an act.

@dimphosweet

2 ай бұрын

Mine even "became born again" 😂😂😂😂 thank God I didn't fall for that because he went on and became worse and when all else dialed told people I tried to kill him that's why he didn't take me back (at this point I had not seen him for 8 years and because I refused so that was his way if trying to get me to react - through rumours)

@user-on2lw7ip5b

Ай бұрын

I used to believe that my abuser would change and I would leave and he would do exactly this. I honestly believe that this man could have changed. However, I also feel like the chances are slim.

@natoskull2

Ай бұрын

​@@user-on2lw7ip5b Close to zero. This is a power thing. They're egotistical and narcissistic beings. They don't know how to accept a "no" for an answer, and much less if it's coming from a person they see as an inferior to them. This creep calling should actually be locked up forever. They don't even regret their doings in all honesty. All women with psychos like that should just dispose of them. There's NO change you as a woman or anyone else can do in such a mind, so just leave it be (leave it follow its course), and that's it. You can't help what doesn't wanna be helped.

@barb7124

25 күн бұрын

Mine too

@ahhwe-any7434

9 күн бұрын

Follow your intuition they said Like the universe? 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️ bc it's hard to compartmentalize navigate & weed out everything after all that. Idk how to feel or think about anything other than that's bad, be gone. I love her, plz don't let me f her up. Oh good gah bc Now I have a kid w/ this fam... & I'm.. fd. I already feel like something's up when his mom asking what city I'm working in so she can magically make me suit her "plans." No, either she's just trying to be nosey. & Or she's just a hater. Have something to talk about bc they're lacking or giving him clues to harass or stalk me. Thanks gah I said it in a tone where I acted like such an an annoying wannabe snot bc that place is just so sh. Not only is it in the xyz area, it's xyz levels up, & imagine going to xyz location trying to cause a commotion there tho. Wheeew we. But only in their addict & enabling so called Christian fam will only 1 thing remain. The persistence in all that ignorance where in their world, all they need is talking to get by in life. I didn't say effective communication, they simply just meant talking. Even if they fished it out the air, that's what they're doing. Anywho makes me sad I'm in the same exact damn county.... How is it cheaper to get married than it is to divorce? Like we're separated! The end. I never knew ish about marriage, obviously. I'm glad we were poor. I'm just sad he's really dumb... Bc it's still gonna cost me if I want to finish this off quicker & if I don't make sense these rules make less sense.

It is not your ex wife’s obligation to help YOU feel better about the horrific things you did to her. Go away, leave her alone. Show your love by letting her live her best life without you

@briskettacos

9 ай бұрын

Exactly. He still feels entitled to her time, understanding, empathy, and forgiveness.

@KD-gd5oq

4 ай бұрын

THIS

@jacquidanke1263

4 ай бұрын

PERIOD!

@snudder.s.m.l.5026

4 ай бұрын

Well said.. ❤

@indoora

4 ай бұрын

Well said.

As an abuse survivor, this one was hard to listen to. At his core, James still believes his EX-wife "belongs" to him. It's always about what the abuser wants. They always put their own needs above their victim's. And here we are again: James wants her back so James will call a radio show with the express purpose of getting what he wants. Red flag!!!! I hope his ex-wife stays far away from him.

@TulipsNTattoos

Жыл бұрын

That was my thought too… what does Ex Wife want? CLEARLY, to stay away from him. She deserves a NEW life- without him, ever around again. He won’t like that.

@ruthiedavis8786

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree 💯

@sensimania

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad that attempt to adopt NINE children fell through

@blahblahblah4544

Жыл бұрын

He's still struggling with his entitlement. I liked the doc pointing out "You mean your EX wife." Dude has to realize his wife don't need him and that he don't need her either. It's okay to love people but people are free beings. The best way to love is to let go and allow people to stay. Not manipulate and beg. Dude has gotta learn to become a patient and loving for the sake of becoming patient and loving.

@johnjayandabackpack644

Жыл бұрын

Sorry you had to go through that, you didn’t deserve that and deserve so much more, a protector not a weak minded individual

Listening to an abuser lay out the path of how verbal abuse turns into punching walls, turns into physical abuse is wild.

@Circa2000s

2 ай бұрын

Right! Like, so you know exactly what tf you are doing!???? Disgusting!!

@gabsmarg4048

2 ай бұрын

Literally!! the verbal abuse is the lightning and then we all know what the thunderclap is…

@ingrid5944

Ай бұрын

To think that this almost happened to me is insane.

@Nastasyashanti

Ай бұрын

They perfectly show it in the series Maid. Before hurting you they start hurting space around you.

@emilycgardiner

Ай бұрын

@@ingrid5944 so glad you’re safe now♥️

The only reason i can think of why james would have called in is because he knows his victim listens to the show and is now trying to get her pity

@terrywade3696

Ай бұрын

Racheltarentino: I agree with you 100%! Everything coming out of his mouth is a manipulation and lies! He thinks that if he says the “right things” and he can get John Delony to agree with him, it gives him credibility! He knows she listens to this show and I’m betting, she’s blocked him on every avenue and that’s why he’s using Delony’s show to get his message to her. I hope she runs far, far away and never looks back!

@BigHeartNoBS

Ай бұрын

Exactly. This whole thing is a manipulation tactic.

@godsboricuachick85

Ай бұрын

I agree

@sheiladiaz2359

Ай бұрын

😢totally

@wayasaunooke3424

24 күн бұрын

Bingo! 🎯 More manipulation from a pos.

Men are unaliving their spouses at an enormous rate. She got away once; he won’t allow her to be able to escape him again.

@thatsthejobbb8587

4 ай бұрын

Should see it in Australia. A man ran his wife over on a tractor with a slasher attachment. I'm a migrant here and never heard anything like this before I came here but these types of stories are so regular and nonchalant on the news it's scary!!!

@mercedesharrison5550

4 ай бұрын

My gosh my heart for her 😩🌸. A man almost k’d me by essentially choking me. Seeing his face as he was over me with pure rage knowing death was what he wanted for me. He even tried to bite my face while he was “choking” me. But being on the other side of that. Seeing it up close. Feeling your body getting weaker like you’re about to fade away. Your vision starting to darken. It feels so wild and frightening to be up that close and seeing this person coming towards you is nothing like witnessing it secondhand or hearing it through an outside source. The feeling is almost indescribable but you can feel the evil. I cannot imagine through her eyes to see that coming at her and then penetrating, the sound of the tractor, knowing someone you slept next to is now k’llng you. Knowing this is the end in just a gruesome, barbaric, gory way. My gosh that’s horrifying. It saddens me to hear that it’s almost normalized.

@annalove9593

4 ай бұрын

It isn’t easy to hear but grave yards are saturated with women who we unalived by men who “loved them.” One of my cousins was shot to death by her husband while holding their baby. The caller only wants his possession bk. These unalivers are getting younger.

@anns9688

3 ай бұрын

This is so true and it is not talked about enough.

@rhondacrosswhite8048

3 ай бұрын

That's why so many states file the battery charges against the husband when she has to call them. So many women give in to his and his family's pleas to drop the charges. When she drops the charges, the police take her from her home in a body bag because the husband swore that no woman would ever have him locked up again. When the state files the abuse charges, the wife can't drop them. I know this from personal experience before i finally divorced him and moves three states away.

He overcame his trauma. Bravo! 10 months. Are you kidding? What about HER trauma!

@nicoleowens2318

3 ай бұрын

Right? I left my ex 9 years ago and I'm still single with severe PTSD and brain damage but he still dreams about us getting back together. It's sick. It's always a fantasy in their head. And when you're actually with them, the fantasy becomes about other people and you become the obstacle in their head, a burden and "the problem." Sick.

@stdeborah460

3 ай бұрын

I'm sure her trauma is way worse that wimpy cry baby James. I seriously doubt he'd even attempt to hit a man. He cries and is remorseful only for himself and the impact that her leaving had on him. Where is his concern for her mental well being? Has he sent her money or tried to help her financially in any way she she left him? He only loves himself.

@testtest2609

3 ай бұрын

​@@stdeborah460They're never brave with men coz they there are consequences

@cruiseny26

3 ай бұрын

That’s how you know it’s not meaningful change. It’s manipulative. This is the cycle of abuse.

@PandoraBear357

3 ай бұрын

I worked in one place longer than he has ever done when I was a teenager. 10 months of working is not a long time😂

I hope his ex-wife hears this and gets a restraining order against him. Girl RUN!!!!! As far as you can....

"Malignant narcisist" need I say more? Kudos to her for leaving him.

@KB86-uq8pu

Ай бұрын

I do wonder if narcs of that level can be considered to have full capacity to consent get married, because essentially they have an empathy deficiency which means they will probably always have essentially a 3yr old's understanding of marriage. Like when the little girl says she'll marry Daddy because in that moment she's sure she wants Daddy to herself for the rest of her life. She's not thinking about providing for her Dad's needs for the rest of his life at all.

Love how he responds to “my wife” with “your EX wife?”

@dianatwum7493

4 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 exactly

@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066

3 ай бұрын

He's still VERY possessive of her....

@joshuamontgomery0

3 ай бұрын

I fist pumped the air when he did this!

@rarebird_82

3 ай бұрын

That made me smile Ouch 🤭🦂 haha

@AshleySpeaks4U

3 ай бұрын

Right. He needs to remember she is GONE. I was abused and someone asked if I would go back. "HELL no-are you NUTS?" She was actually serious. Barf. No. Not going back.

He’s still an abuser. He says he lost control when he beat his ex wife up. But he didn’t. He was so much in control that he knew how much beating she could take before it would cause permanent injuries. He was exact in how he treated her. He has not changed one bit as he still hasn’t fully taken responsibility for his abuse. If he had, he would never consider trying to work his way back into his ex-wife’s life.

@HildaDeerfox

4 ай бұрын

Yes absolutely!

@Chantilly907

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for saying this! This is my ex husband. And then so sorry and do so much self work and then I stay, but only a matter of time before he doesn't feel he is getting what he is owed and the cycle goes again. Almost like he felt because he did all this good stuff, I owed him. Actually the more 'good' he did the more control he felt he had over me. He almost killed me 2x during our marriage but stopped choking me just in time for me not to die(still had bruised vocal chords and passed out). Spent 1 day in jail for his multiple 'misdemeanor ' domestic assults. Took me 7 years to leave. I'm ashamed at myself for staying so long.

@t.aronsen8466

4 ай бұрын

​@@Chantilly907you are strong ❤

@fairlind

4 ай бұрын

@@Chantilly907The fact that you stayed a long time has nothing to do with you. It’s all about programming and automatic behavior, and you were thoroughly programmed to stay and take it. The only thing you willfully caused was breaking the program. Congratulations.

@jvance6

4 ай бұрын

​@@Chantilly907I'm so glad you escaped. Even if it tool 7 years. You found a way out, cause if you hadn't he probably would've killed you.

I always find it ironic that controlling people will attempt to control everything around them, which is impossible to actually do. But refuse to control the only thing they have any ability to control….. Themselves…

@nikkimollard5097

2 ай бұрын

Perfectly said... The only control we have, is of ourselves.

@christopherhansen6078

2 ай бұрын

DAMN!

@ludmilamaiolini6811

2 ай бұрын

Oh, they control themselves pretty well. They don’t hurt people because of lack of control, they do it intentionally

@susangrande8142

2 ай бұрын

My mother, who was abusive, was also very controlling. My husband pointed out to me that she thought she could control outcomes of situations too, as well as other people’s behavior. She was a very weak person.

@kathydurow6814

2 ай бұрын

My Dad, towards the end of his life when he was old & sick, admitted just this - that he refused to be controlled but wanted to control those around him. Still insisted on paying the bills from his hospital bed when on chemo/radiation therapy in his second marriage. She was earning most of the money in their marriage so hopefully it wasn't as physically abusive as his first.

NEVER, NEVER RETURN to an abuser. In case I didn't stress this enough, NEVER.

@argieholliman6231

Ай бұрын

Say it again NEVER !

@AK20741

Ай бұрын

NEVER

@caroldorsett8170

Күн бұрын

NEVER!!

No women who was abused should ever take the abuser back.. not ever.

@lwitte8857

2 ай бұрын

Exactly. Do abusers typically change? No. Can abusive people change? Sadly, it doesn’t happen often but it can happen. Should an abuse victim go back to someone who has changed ( meaningful or not)? No. If you have abused someone, especially for an extended period of time, then your relationship to that person has fundamentally changed. You cannot walk back the dynamic you have established. You will always be the person in power and they will always be the person trying to comply. Being a shitty ex is something you can grow from. Being an abusive ex is something you move on from.

@LLandS18

2 ай бұрын

If only it was that easy. Does trauma bonds there's PTSD there's coercive control. There's gaslighting. There's manipulation. There's love bombing. There's the sunk cost fallacy. There's so much to why people stay with abusers. Least of all is the most dangerous time for a domestic abuse. Victim is when they're leaving the relationship. The only other time in the relationship that comes close to being as dangerous is when they are pregnant or recently postpartum. There's a reason why you always hear about men murdering their pregnant wives or The wise that they recently just gave birth.

@zoe9190

2 ай бұрын

They shouldnt, but it happens like 90% of the time. All the excuses in the world, they leave once their tipping point has been reached. Men and women go back to their abuser if not the same day, within a week or two. men and women mostly abuse differently, but there are enough women who abuse like men do and vice versa. People are horrible, but i would make it gender neutral statement. Men arent the only abusers and women arent only victims. Everyone is capable of being abusive

@kimberlyfloyd1009

2 ай бұрын

I agree even if tomorrow my ex-husband came to me and apologize for everything that you did to me and the way he feels like he didn’t abuse me although he was doing it the whole time I would never take him back in fact the abuse is the one thing that makes you stay away for good!!!!

@AndrewDaniele87

Ай бұрын

Or man, just saying

If his ex wife ever hears this, she will hear all of his tone of voice changes, his sickening chuckle, and his crocodile tears, and her skin will crawl knowing he has not changed.

@veverest2155

3 ай бұрын

She’s in the comments. He’s repeated this behavior with two more girlfriends and apparently did a single day in jail. She has no intentions of going back. Thank god.

@Jetsi79

2 ай бұрын

@@veverest2155 I’m so glad she didn’t go back to him!!

@samanthapateman8054

2 ай бұрын

100% agree it’s so fake. He’s just doing this to look like he is doing something while not doing anything.

@Dinnerthedaythebanksareopen

2 ай бұрын

@@veverest2155Where is her comment? Has it been deleted?

@grace52775

2 ай бұрын

​@@DinnerthedaythebanksareopenI'm also curious about her comments.

My dad was an abusive alcoholic. When I finally confronted him as an adult, he spoke in self-diagnosing terms just like this guy. “I was raging from the alcohol”, “This, this and that from my childhood”. Even trying to disarm the criticism by agreeing before the words settle. He could never speak about his actions or decisions in that moment because he didn’t want to confront the person he was. Sounded just like this. This is not taking ownership of your actions or yourself. And you’re still dangerous. Screw this guy.

@storyaboutmosquitoes9441

2 ай бұрын

My dad is still like this. Or he blames us for the abuse saying we were so terrible we deserved it. Have not spoken to him since he told me to kill myself. He’s in therapy now, but I don’t hold out hope for him. It’s court ordered.

@scott4825

2 ай бұрын

"The past is the past" so I'm not going to take ownership of those decades of abuse.

@ahhwe-any7434

9 күн бұрын

My background must be so fd idek if the gpa is hitting on me. He def doesn't believe in boundaries. But him saying something as "simple" as don't believe everything my son says about me is like my head just went a bill different directions. I don't talk to him & I told him that. When he asked.. but I'm not going over to any "fam" function w/ out faking it w/ at least the mom in law around. & Yes, he does give me the damn creeps. Who fn lives w/ their in laws minus their ex's & thinks thats ok? That's so not even normal, it's fn lame. & WEIRD. I want to think his arse kissing is just wholesome stuff but knowing him ..He. has. no. boundaries! He'd have even less of em if I even half entertained his crackhead looking ish. How many more holes do u need in ur head. Or wever bc wtf in world where i would ever. Deal w/ that toxic sh ever again. Losers!.. & Like willingly live in that prison w/ them. I said that then, I'll Still say it now. They're like a damn mental Prison! & Who talks about their own son's in friend vibes, just gossip vibes. I guess alotta ppl do. & I can't tell if that's just brokenness schemes or just both. But they're all like he should've just stuck it out w/ u. Oh u mean in that way u all instill user values? The mom has the other 30 yr old addict son living w/ her & they just set up all these weird dynamics to tear each other down, so they can feel like they need each other in that dark path slow arse backwards way. Bc what would they do w/ out each other? & I bet he is crying up a storm. Or crying me a river... "Suck it up, buttercup." He's not 12. He's a pick me

"I miss my wife like crazy." "Your EX-wife?" Dr. John is totally onto him. It's not at all about her. It's about him.

"I want my wife back". This could turn into a stalker situation real quick. He needs to accept she is NEVER coming back and truly being sorry would be accepting that.

@Shadowwind4

Жыл бұрын

Are you looking for a husband?

@InTheNameOfLife1

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. If he was actually sorry he’d realize the trauma he inflicted on her and would stay away from her forever. And he’d know he needs years of therapy before ever attempting a relationship with anyone again

@sdl5731

Жыл бұрын

Yep!!!

@charminglove8594

10 ай бұрын

@@Shadowwind4????

@jdj2022

10 ай бұрын

She’s not his wife, she is a survivor.

He wants control. He wants power. He cant handle the fact that a woman found the strenght to leave him. He is dangerous.

@GameChanger597

10 ай бұрын

Extremely! And I'm disgusted Dr. John didn't say more to put him in his place 😠

@ashleenicole71

8 ай бұрын

​@liveyourlifeextra4576 Eh Dr John reads people well. He even said. I want to say things but won't say it. So he's aware..

@KingOfKings__

6 ай бұрын

Or he wants to change.

@meesh1002

5 ай бұрын

He’s even trying to manipulate the conversation with Dr John by opening up with how much he loves him… trying to win him over lol

@richerDiLefto

5 ай бұрын

@@KingOfKings__ Maybe, but that ship sailed for that particular woman.

His constant laugh/chuckle is so scary. Makes you wonder if he would laugh in her face as she cried or begged for him to stop

To this man's ex wife, if you're watching this or listening to this... never go back. Never. You deserve so so much better. He won't change.

I have no empathy for this guy. He's saying all the "right" things, reminds me of my abuser too. Nice and highly aware for others, and a frightening jerk to me. He's crying now but he didn't care when he made her cry numerous times and had no compassion. Give me a break.

@GameChanger597

10 ай бұрын

Yep I'm getting sociopath vibes from him

@catholicfemininity2126

10 ай бұрын

It's only been what, a year or 10 months? or so.... that's not enough time to truly heal and transform into a virtuous person. I've been trying to change for 2 years and it's not easy, and that's just with the small stuff. But if he has any humility at all, he'll accept the hosts' advice and let her be and work on himself.

@Emy53

7 ай бұрын

I don't trust an abuser. He's looking for a 2nd chance until he gets triggered. He's dangerous to me and doesn't deserve her. He just can't find a new woman to beat up. I don't trust him and I don't believe he is in a better place. He's just waiting for the day he can beat someone up because of his own childhood issues.

@triciadilligaf2678

6 ай бұрын

​@@catholicfemininity2126the vibe I got from him is he's doing all this stuff to appear to change so when she ultimately rejects him he will turn people against her and whine about her not giving him another chance.

@MeowzKitty

4 ай бұрын

That's EXACTLY how they are. They're so likeable and when you listen to them you'll feel so enlightened and even empathize with them more than yourself or even others will feel sorry for the abuser.

The audacity. His tears were very well timed . You blew it dude. Stay away from her and every other female until you've done YEARS of intensive therapy.

@scorchedearthcreations

Жыл бұрын

He miraculously switched them off very quickly too.

@summerdowlig

Жыл бұрын

I'm sure he wasn't crying while he spit and hit her.

@jibbyjabs

Жыл бұрын

@@summerdowlig exactly, that's what I meam by his well timed tears it's always when they are required by someone else to address what they did

@pattimartin859

Жыл бұрын

The night before I left, my ex finally came home. He sat across from me and cried, "I just don't know what to do anymore ". All well timed crap . He has the audacity all these years later to ask....."how is your mom". Men like James don't change, they just get better at how they hide their abuse.

@jwhite5396

Жыл бұрын

@@pattimartin859 Yeah. And for him to know to squeeze her leg so no one could see the bruise, that’s planned just like his tears. He beat her up and spit on her because she couldn’t find where he went for a walk. That poor woman was probably always walking on eggshells with him. I’m glad she got away.

He scares me. He needs to just leave his ex wife alone! She has the right to heal and move on.

@biancacaputo7174

Ай бұрын

My wife divorced me and I'm overcoming my traumas. I started a business and lost weight and I miss controlling my ex ... Basically.

Oh just leave her alone! She’ll never recover from what you’ve done … never. All this is about you … it’s not, it’s about her.

“We we’re trying to adopt nine children, but it fell through.” Thank God!!!

@lovecats6856

Жыл бұрын

What a baby cry. He wanted those kids as a possession to show everyone how wonderful he is. Then his wife would feel guilty to try to get away.

@AlyssaTaylor9

Жыл бұрын

Right? Adopting ONE child is difficult enough, and it should be difficult. How in the hell did he think he, an abusive 20-something dirtbag addicted to Marijuana and unable to hold a steady job would be able to adopt NINE CHILDREN???

@petracain6794

Жыл бұрын

So it's true. I did hear correctly. I will be dannngggg!!!

@bodhisattva2348

Жыл бұрын

Those 9 kids dodged some major bullets

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

He wanted to burden her to stay with him

You don't get to "be proud" of your ex wife who had the wherewithal to escape your abuse. This guy is unreal!

@anyagee9467

Жыл бұрын

YES - Just saying " I am proud of her " in this context is a RED FLAG!

@rebeccashields9626

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. It made my skin boil. You don’t get to be proud of her, you don’t own her.

@tubeloobs

Жыл бұрын

@@rebeccashields9626 Dr. Delony doesn't own James either yet he said more than once that he was proud of him. What on earth are you guys talking about?

@anyagee9467

Жыл бұрын

@@tubeloobs CONTEXT - this guy reached out to Dr Delony for help. His EX ran away from him and his abuse - he is in no position to comment on her actions as if he is an authority over her. Parents/teachers/best friends/health staff can be proud of others' progress and choices, an abuser doesn't have that jurisdiction or right. He is basically making himself the authority over her by saying this.

@brightpage1020

Жыл бұрын

@@anyagee9467 this. What this person said. Like her position in life is beneath this guy or she should look up to him. I hope she's healing from him without looking back. And hiding from him effectively.

Gaining the trust back of someone you physically abused is probably the most narcissistic ask of all time.

9 children almost got adopted ? Thank god that didn’t happen ! Saved 9 children from physical abuse

I feel like this caller is trying to manipulate John too, not just his wife. He still wants to control her.

@basicbase749

3 ай бұрын

True!! He is a smooth talker and knows how to use words to his advantage and create a good public image

@Cactusbrigade

3 ай бұрын

Definitely. Did you notice the flattery at the very beginning? It’s off the bat manipulative

@rebeccawright5987

3 ай бұрын

@@CactusbrigadeI’m betting this guy has NPD

@nonnaza

3 ай бұрын

Totally

@corrieworou4813

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, rings false.

He still feels entitled to his ex-wife. He needs to be thankful that he's not in prison where he belongs and move on with his life, and let her move on with hers.

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@paulaaquino

Жыл бұрын

Totally agree

@hismom5600

6 ай бұрын

Ti!!!!!! You lurk in all the coolest places!😄

@TisHotMessHistory

6 ай бұрын

@@hismom5600 I do! LOL I love this show.

@mamat1213

5 ай бұрын

YEP. He can’t even say “ex wife”

You know he is downplaying his abuse. I can only imagine how bad it was based on how bad what he admitted to was.

When a man has been so abusive, trying to get her back is just more torture.

Having been abused myself, an abuser will ALWAYS downplay what they’ve actually done to their victim. If we were to ask his wife, her stories will be more raw, real, and horrible. Once a man abuses you, he will NEVER respect you again regardless of the work he has done on himself. The fact that he has a running list of what he’s accomplished already shows his narcissistic tendency. If she decided to get back with him, he would get upset if she does not recognize the changes he has made. DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR ABUSER!!!

@user92248

2 ай бұрын

And get mad when she still flinches at his raised voice or doesn't trust him

@rachelm126

2 ай бұрын

1000000% this

@Lilith6.6

Ай бұрын

His telling of how he "put pressure on her leg with his arm" wana bet that wasn't her leg?

@rachelm126

Ай бұрын

@@Lilith6.6 what are you implying it was?

@Lilith6.6

Ай бұрын

@@rachelm126 Not implying it was anything

This was a well-rehearsed story from a person that closely monitors, controls, and attempts to disguise what they say and what they do to protect their true character. This is a deeply manipulative, small, weak person. He starts off by trying to flatter John in an effort to ingratiate himself. Then, he puts himself down (describes himself a 5 year-old) and pretends to cry in an attempt to disarm John and to lessen John's reaction, which he can expect will be strong. (You wouldn't kick a guy while he's down, would you?) The problem is, five year olds don't beat up women and spit in their faces. I'm sure calling into the show only inflated his ego and furthered this narcissistic charade. (His ex-wife probably blocked him, so he had to find a way to get his message out.)

@cameronreeder9609

Жыл бұрын

This is the best comment.

@melissaa.8547

11 ай бұрын

I noticed this as well…he is extremely manipulative but the cracks in his narrative are very clear…I guarantee the abuse was much much worse than he describes

@user-oq4ow9rr6z

11 ай бұрын

I'm so glad the wife got away from him but she should have done it a lot sooner. Better yet, to make sure this guy doesn't one day show up at her door, she should have taken care of the problem when he first touched her

@tiffanyh.5788

10 ай бұрын

​@@user-oq4ow9rr6zevery after the "but" was literally blaming the wife.

@stuff1784

9 ай бұрын

Sociopathic behavior

Within the first few minutes, I absolutely 110% know he is not a changed man. This is not a person who is truly taking accountability. I hope she has stayed away. Sending my love to her. A person who is truly sorry wont blame addiction, frustrations etc... they will take full responsibility for the trauma they caused and show through CONSISTENT long term changed behaviour before they even think of trying to actively be in a relationship with that person. It's not about winning her back, it's about making yourself into a better man for yourself not for a return. Not about words and speeches.

@ethermac9015

Ай бұрын

Why hasn’t he taken accountability?

As a survivor of abuse, I can't believe this man. I don't feel he has much contrition for what he did to his wife. All I am hearing is that he's healing his trauma, how he's improved. But he never talked about her & where shes at. What damage has he done to her? How has he helped her? Did he pay for her therapy? Did he apologise? I can't believe he thinks he deserves her back. I believe if a man hits once, he'll do it again.

"What changes have you made since she left?" "I go for a walk" This guy is such a narcissist, it's clear even in this setting where he's trying very hard to hide it. I can't imagine what he's like behind closed doors.

@burungpipitmakanpadi

3 ай бұрын

This reminds me of my abusive narc dad. He always made a big deal about his daily walks alone. Why???

@lunarforte1620

2 ай бұрын

Even refers to what he has written down to discuss as his "script" around 8:15 in

@evapawlowska

2 ай бұрын

@@burungpipitmakanpadithey brag about anything 😂

@ChristinaFromYoutube

2 ай бұрын

​@@burungpipitmakanpadi they're usually lying. He probably walks around the corner to the bar. That was my experience with an ex that never shut up about the gym. He was actually on dates lol

“You should 100% be in jail.” Thank you for that comment - as someone who left this same situation about 2 months ago and constantly felt afraid …. Abusive people like him and my ex should be in jail. Fearing for your life over extensive lengths of time is beyond words. Entitlement, possession, being set off by relationships ….. AMEN to you John for calling him out. Being choked/strangled/dragged to the ground is life-fearing! I went through it and I hope this woman finds healing and peace. I’m sorry to this man who feels he is so self-important…..he needs extensive help

@hannagg9365

5 ай бұрын

💯

@Phatse

5 ай бұрын

The way he failed to actually mention techniques to overcome his temper and learn to honor another person's feelings. He doesn't even realize that she probably wants nothing to do with him and he needs to accept it

@mish375

4 ай бұрын

​@@PhatseThat's the narcissism talking. Most abusers have some kind of narcissism component and so he still feels he's entitled to her. No mention of how he's dealt with his temper in an actual productive way. His ex-wife was right to run. I hope she stays away from him.

@trailertrish

4 ай бұрын

the psychological trauma we endure for YEARS after. like bro walk away. leave her be. and dont date anyone ever again. 😤

@jacquidanke1263

4 ай бұрын

I PRAY YOU FIND PEACE AND HEALING IN YOUR LIFE, TOO, PRECIOUS ONE. YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING HAPPY AND FREE FROM FEAR. GOD HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND IF NOBODY TOLD YOU THEY LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. NOT TRYING TO BE WEIRD, JUST KNOWING HOW MUCH THOSE WORDS/ AND BEING LOVED ARE SO IMPORTANT TO WE SURVIVORS. I AM WORKING ON ME, TOO. WE ARE VERY WORTH IT-GOD SAYS SO BECAUSE HE MADE ALL OF HIS LOVELY DAUGHTERS! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU.

He doesn't miss her..he misses having a scapegoat. Not once did he say I go to therapy, I go to anger management, I apologize and I take accountability. If you loved her, why would you hurt here? I loved when he said child monster. What narcassists are. Adult children.

As someone who was abused, it's scary how normal he sounds before he states the question. This is why I'm cautious around everyone.

I'm thinking he emotionally blackmailed her into the adoption of 9 kids telling her they needed to SAVE them but his real intention was his version of "barefoot and pregnant" and keep her trapped!! What a manipulator this guy is. Always the victim. Tears and all.

@amysue1616

5 ай бұрын

Or worse. 😢

@barbthegreat586

4 ай бұрын

He tried to entrap her with children.

@user-je7db7bi7i

4 ай бұрын

You've just identified the true reason women bear children with male sperm. If the purpose of that change (from asexual to sexual reproduction) was this, then it CANNOT have been a natural change, it was FORCED. Which means men and women relationship is a LIEEEEE!!! XYs came, invaded women's world and altered them somehow.

@TrueWalker88

4 ай бұрын

That's ridiculous. She's a grown ass woman who made a choice. No one can be "forced" to adopt a child, much less a whopping NINE children.

@soullessnight6539

4 ай бұрын

@@TrueWalker88you obviously no nothing about psychology abuse. Most common form and imo even worse than physical. They do it slowly over time that you don’t even know yourself anymore. They take all your self worth that you think you could never survive without them. You become a shell, a puppet and they pull your strings.

Guarantee you he wouldn't try to hit another man. Just a woman. These guys are always physical with women but when confronted by another man surprisingly get very timid.

@gailainsley6939

Жыл бұрын

Not the ones I know. This particular one fought with men Too and did not mind displaying this in public with anyone.

@imveryhungry112

Жыл бұрын

@@gailainsley6939 probably little or older men.

@katet_33

Жыл бұрын

That's the case with some abusers, but not all. Some people are just angry and violent.

@brendalara1210

Жыл бұрын

​@@gailainsley6939 yeah my abuser was violent towards other men too

@gailainsley6939

Жыл бұрын

@@imveryhungry112 No. The guy I saw in particular were his friends and his age group. Mid 20’s - early 30’s. Forgot exact age but I remember.

A gradian angel was watching over those 9 children the day that adoption fell through!

Dr. Delony has incredible control to not say what he clearly wanted to say.

@christiestarr6941

18 күн бұрын

I think he should have said them.

I hate how he keeps on saying "my wife" and when he was corrected he said "Yeah that" What an absolute creep 😮

@Letstalk295

21 күн бұрын

Also the divorce has been done for months

@jereni-solpoetry5994

8 күн бұрын

Right, I heard that!

“I don’t care about impressing people” what a LIE

@mish375

4 ай бұрын

All abusers want to impress people. That's why they are so pathologically addicted to control.

@zammymynakersnackstbmoth

4 ай бұрын

Seriously. Cuz if that were the case, he wouldn't have brought it up.

@ImNotaRussianBot

4 ай бұрын

Brother, you called in to a show. People with any sense of rationale and awareness first examine your actions then see the words. If they're contradicting, that is a sign of a mental illness or personality disorder, either way they have enough life experience to stay away from you as much as possible.

@JadeWasHere987

4 ай бұрын

Right? I wanted to comment the same

@nicoleowens2318

3 ай бұрын

Yup

His intermittent cackle is unnerving.

@allywolf9182

Ай бұрын

Kamala style....

@grace52775

Ай бұрын

@@allywolf9182 no kidding.....

@mssophiad03

10 күн бұрын

@@allywolf9182word salad too

“You cannot achieve love, you have to receive it.” That’s phenomenal and applicable to so many personality types.

@maresdreams8731

2 ай бұрын

Sure is! never heard it that way.

I’m glad the comment section is pretty unanimously in support of that woman staying tf away from him.

He called in to be validated and hoped he would get help on how to woo over his victim to get her back in his life. The finalization of the divorce was her nail in his coffin. He 100% doesn’t know how to cope with having absolutely no ties or control over this woman anymore. If she ever goes back, she might as well have planned her funeral because he’s not gonna let her leave again. Adopting 9 children was a way for him to keep her stuck. Thank God it didn’t go in his favor. He would have abused those children too.

@leona2222

2 ай бұрын

💯

@jalanepeppin1346

2 ай бұрын

Exactly!! He just wants validation so he can tell her "see everyone thinks I should have a another chance bc I changed" gtfoh. He has YEARS to go if ever before real change happens. He's still an abuser

@kellyt4683

2 ай бұрын

Dude is psycho. She needs to stay far far away from him.

@jennyjones-tw5hp

2 ай бұрын

It feels like he’s likely got a personality disorder. It doesn’t even occur to him, that this woman is her own person and it would do her well to stay the hell out of his life.

@annc.3908

2 ай бұрын

Ah stuck is too small of a word to describe that… omg the level of stuck she would have been in…

He wants her back. It’s too hard to start from scratch with a different woman. He has her broken in pun intended. He is mad she’s not here at his disposal.

When I left my abuser I never wanted to see him again. He tracked me down knocked on my door 5 years later I moved the very next day put everything in my sons name and he never found me again.

10 mos is longer employment than he’s ever had, and he was trying to adopt 9 kids. Holy shitballs.

@jet4415

Жыл бұрын

Haha, I laughed at how John took him down on his employment section.

@julia190

Жыл бұрын

Find it hard to believe that part of the story. Cannot be true that they were trying to adopt 9 children.

@somethingclever2

5 ай бұрын

😂😂

@continuousself-improvement1879

4 ай бұрын

​@@julia190maybe he meant being foster parents. Or tried to adopt with the end goal of having 9 kids but not all at once.

@luckyduckydaisyflower2344

4 ай бұрын

The kids were a meal ticket somehow..he means foster

"proud of her" my stomach turned.

@marleyhill34

4 ай бұрын

Yup.

@JB-xm2wh

4 ай бұрын

He needs therapy and meds, more importantly to be locked up

@michelleashton6712

3 ай бұрын

Like he’s taking a part of her exit as well.

@dominiquejones6758

3 ай бұрын

That stuck out to me too. It’s giving “good girl” vibes…what a prick

@MARISKI-MUSIC

3 ай бұрын

Yeah right. Twisted f*cker. He’s probably said something to her like “why are you doing this to ME?” for leaving, but now he says he’s proud lmfao what a loser

“I did all this work- now Take Me Back!” How many times must we hear about women who believe them take an abuser back and get even worse abuse? Did you know it takes an average of 8 breakups for a woman to break the cycle of abuse and finally NOT take them back? This guy is terrifying.

This dude makes my skin crawl. He’s saying the right things but there is nothing meaningful about what he is saying. He still thinks that this is whole person, this whole independent person who HE put hands on, still belongs to him. Dude doesn’t love her, he loves the submission under his power. I hope the ex runs far and fast and never looks back.

"I miss her, I want her back, etc.". All I hear is him putting his desires before what is best for her. Girl, run

@mairedaly4926

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, it was about there that it got very clear.... and then he cooly finishes his list

Ironically, the fact that he wants her back proves he doesn't love her. If he loved her, he'd let her go. He shouldn't want her to stay with someone who caused her such pain. Real love is selfless. There is no room for one more chance from the extreme he took it to. When an abusive man asks you to stay with him despite the past mistreatment he put you through, he is asking you to repress your hurt, instinct, and memory for purely his benefit. It NEVER benefits you to stay with someone who was ever capable of hurting you so badly.

@amiek9226

3 ай бұрын

Very well said! When some lines are crossed, there is no going back. There is no way she could ever truly feel safe with him again.

@cbeachbaby266

3 ай бұрын

This.

@megazw7740

2 ай бұрын

He's in a pit of self pity. He doesn't want her back. He wants her services back because they made his life easier and he only realised it after she left.

The fact that this guy is prepared to make a phone call about this, says he's got some audacity in the first place!

Coming from a guy (me) that was dumped by the love of his life for being FAR less of a dickhead than this guy: she's gone. Stop scheming up ways to get her back, since that's what you're doing. The best you can hope for is for her to move on without the thought of you haunting her.

You haven't changed, your just not around her. Your ego wants her back.

@darksu6947

Жыл бұрын

He just wants to beat her one last time.

@mish375

4 ай бұрын

His narcissism is angry that she escaped from him because she outsmarted him and ran. Narcissistic abusers can't stand being beaten at their own game.

@thefirm4606

4 ай бұрын

@@darksu6947last and final time I suspect

@ehamilful

3 ай бұрын

Of course he wants her back. She probably worked and brought home the bacon while he smoked pot all day seeing as he has only had steady employment for ten months. Now he has to be self reliant and he doesn't like it. This guy is disgusting.

@sheridanvance7426

2 ай бұрын

❤

Leave that woman alone. If you have a guilty conscious, write her an apology letter but leave her the eff alone. Let her heal and let her find someone who will love her right.

@gabrielamartiniuc6322

Жыл бұрын

He will apologize ONLY to get her back. If she rejects him he will SLANDER her and blame her !! That’s my speculation… because mine was that way. HE is getting emotional because he physically abused her? These abusers truly feel sorry for themselves and feel zero empathy for the victim.

@sarrahconley3923

Жыл бұрын

No he don't need to send her anything. Just leave her alone.

@user-ob5nk3ss1p

Жыл бұрын

@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 This man punched her in the face and all over, kicked her, etc. These types of abusers are very hard to get rid of. These types of people will stalk, harass, torcher, these are sick people.

@stephanienelly90

Жыл бұрын

Right!! He can be better for the next woman but let that woman be! No one deserves this!

@Machoke.

Жыл бұрын

The only thing he could say is " I know sorry will never be enough to justify the things I have put you through. I wish you the best, and hope you can find happiness in your life because you deserve it". Other than that it's probably best to just leave her be, and move on. At this point in the game although he may want her back he doesn't deserve her, and never will. That time has come and gone. For her, and his own sake to he honest, it's best to move on. He caught a break by not being in jail. Take the opportunity, and run with it.

He must be in jail for abusing his woman.

He's not sorry. He'd never changed.

“I’ll do anything to show her I’ve changed” Great, leave her alone. Let her heal. Put her need to be away from you over your desire to possess her again.

@rarebird_82

3 ай бұрын

Oh no... it would take real remorse to do that. He still thinks she owes him, creepy man cant take a hint!

**abuser gets half an hour to preach about himself and put himself on a pedestal** We all make mistakes. But hurting people/ animals is a choice, not by accident. Also, his crying came and went so sharp. Like immediately stopped crying and then went back to crying

@missingbobsburgers

3 ай бұрын

He kept forgetting he was supposed to be upset about his behavior.

@rarebird_82

3 ай бұрын

100% manipulator, a dangerous, wretched individual. As if people would fall for the self depricating faux charm offensive? Jog on mate!

@RaquellePhillips

2 ай бұрын

I heard that too 🤮

@RachelSings21

2 ай бұрын

My abusive ex put a cd into my belongings when I went to collect them (I made SURE he was out and took my whole family and made him aware I wasn’t going to be alone). On that cd he’d recorded something like this, saying things like ‘you’re still my wife’, saying sorry for what he’d done (even though he was still being abusive via every medium available to him), and then crying….REALLY fake sounding crying and it cut off like a switch and he was talking normally again. Absolutely narcissistic. All this ‘change’ is bullshit, this guy would 100% abuse his wife again if she went back.

@BNJA5M1N3

2 ай бұрын

And how dare he say he's proud of her! How entitled. It is not his to be proud of. He should be ashamed and lock himself in a room with chains. Like in the werewolf movies.

SPOT ON Dr. Delaney!!!! It’s not about getting her back. It’s about not being a POS and menace to society!!!

Telling the abuser that there's even a 1% possibility his ex will come back is like pouring a beer for an alcoholic. As someone who's been stalked after breaking up, please tell that monster to man up and leave her alone. He owes her that and so much more! Their dynamic was disastrous and fixating on getting back together is the magical thinking of a child rather than good mental health.

*“Abusive people are entitled.”* WOW that hit home. My uncle abused the hell out of his wife and he’s the most entitled brat you’ll ever meet.

@EmpressMermaid

Жыл бұрын

Yes, good point. I work in the field and one day it hit me that most "anger management" problems are really entitlement problems. They feel entitled to everything being how they want it and can't deal when it's not.

@sensimania

Жыл бұрын

Is it entitlement though? Or is it more to do with stubbornness & ignorance (which usually goes hand in hand with abuse)?

@blahblahblah4544

Жыл бұрын

@@sensimania It really is entitlement. It sits right at the core. The rest of it, stubborness etc. come after. Like, a person who isn't entitled is going to be like "Aw you can't find me? Alrighty, I'll walk home. May you keep your phone on?" The entitled person is going to be angry and abused like he was because he expected his wife find him.

@Moody3863

Жыл бұрын

They're emotional toddlers, essentially.

@goov47

Жыл бұрын

@@sensimania Sounds a lot like entitlement. Seen it before, and it's pathetic.

As an abuse survivor I strongly encourage you to leave that poor woman ALONE!!!

@jacquidanke1263

4 ай бұрын

GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE. I AM ALSO A SURVIVOR. WE DESERVE BETTER, FOR SURE. GOD BLESS!

@hopefulfilled9519

3 ай бұрын

@@jacquidanke1263yes we women are glad you both are here ❤

@hopefulfilled9519

3 ай бұрын

How did it start out for you guys? Was it verbal abuse first?

@Eph10c

3 ай бұрын

@@hopefulfilled9519emotional, verbal and psychological

@hopefulfilled9519

3 ай бұрын

@@Eph10c the physical abuse, it blindsided you? Like when it happened it didn’t seem real

Seriously!? This guy is not truthful or self aware, so many red flags. He uses distancing language every time he speaks about the abuse, but is able to speak directly about all the "amazing" work he's done over the last year. He is only tearful about her leaving him. He is still dangerous.

I’m sorry but when he says he wants his wife back in his life, my instincts scream that he just wants to finish the job. It doesn’t sound like love, it sounds like he lost control and feigning for the terror reign he had in her life. My blood ran cold when he spoke because he’s really still upset this woman left him. She should stay away. He would ruin her if she goes back

He’s doing everything he can to show her he’s “ changed” and win her back. and the minute he realizes she doesn’t accept it all? Has no interest in going back to him? The rage will rear its ugly head once again

@rarebird_82

3 ай бұрын

Yeah, id like to see him continue this little "journey" if she met another man. Be interesting to see if he had _really_ reformed, my guess is not, its all an act to recapture his prey 🙄

@cruiseny26

3 ай бұрын

Yup. Totally manipulative.

@0Demiyah0

3 ай бұрын

He did not verbalize for a SECOND how he empathized with his ex-wife's broken heart, her disillusionment with love, her fear and shattered trust, her gutwrenching pain. Not a SECOND did he consider what SHE needs to feel whole again. He did give any emotionally intelligent cue of understanding that SHE needs trauma therapy, counseling, somatic body work, friendship, self-discovery into her hobbies, likes, wants, boundaries, traveling alone, dating another man, in order to feel like herself again after the ordeal that he put her through. 10 months of separation is barely scratching the surface of that kind of PTSD-inducing menacing hurt and fear of an abusive rageful child-man. He really thought that being a semi-decent guy for 10 months entitled him to want her back. This dude is going to stalk her for 5 more years before he learns. He needs to be single for a decade. He should learn to be genuinely joyful that she may meet a better man who can give her a wholesome love, and then maybe, he can start to emulate that. He won't get there before he is 40 and his testosterone production is low.

@ngo7156

3 ай бұрын

All the changes he did sound good until he still calls her, "his wife"! Dr John pointed it out, your EX-wife! She is merely a possession and he wants its back period. I hope she doesn't take him back because it usually only escalates.

@sheridanvance7426

2 ай бұрын

❤

This is a dangerous person. Not just to his romantic partners, to everyone. And not just physically, this is a master manipulator who’s dead inside.

@LivEandInspirE4EveR

2 ай бұрын

Sociopath 100%

@bygrace8485

Ай бұрын

Literally!

He wants her back because he's a psychopathic narcissist who's lost control of her & he hates that. Been there done that for 7 years each TWICE with different men. Now I'm 63 & even with years of therapy, the thought of being in another relationship makes me want to vomit. Never again. I'd rather be alone than risk living in that kind of nightmare again. I've just resigned myself to thinking I don't know how to pick partners, and I'm fine with that.

@gabsmarg4048

2 ай бұрын

I’m 24 and just got out of a 7 year stint myself, i hope i can learn better and i hope your support systems had your back ❤

No women should ever take someone like this man back. NOT EVER. Narc alert. RUN.

My ex was cheating and lying. I left and he cried, begged, promised the world, we went to therapy. Then he kept lying. Then I found out he had a girlfriend while we were going to couples therapy. Now he is out on bail cause he dragged her down the street and broke down her door. I don’t believe the callers crying. I think he’s crying cause his ego is hurt because she dared to leave him.

@l-train7876

Жыл бұрын

You don’t think this guy can feel emotional pain and loss from all of his horrific behaviors and choices? I disagree. It sounds like you’re assigning a very specific meaning to what is meant by a person crying.

@AnusiaLA

Жыл бұрын

@@l-train7876 I’m probably just traumatized by what I’ve been through. My ex sounded extremely genuine and like he was in emotional pain… and he was cheating on me and lying to me from day one all the way till I left him. Looked in the the eyes with tears running down his face… and he way lying. It’s hard to believe this guy… who was beating his wife and abusing her that way… finally saw the light… after she left him. They always see what they did wrong, but only after you dump them. The monsters like that tend to be very good at saying all the right things.

@l-train7876

Жыл бұрын

@@AnusiaLA it sounds like you’re saying “bad people” cannot cry or feel pain. I think you’re definitely projecting.

@TheEblenRealestateTeam

Жыл бұрын

Girl your right.. Its more that likely he will revert back to it.. take that L..

@AnusiaLA

Жыл бұрын

@@l-train7876 they can feel pain. Doesn’t mean the pain is caused by the suffering they caused. Doesn’t mean they understand what they did. They could be crying cause the victim left or that they’ve been caught. They could also pretend they’re in pain to manipulate and get sympathy.

"What changes have you made in your life?" Lost weight, have a mentor who "pours his life into mine," (yikes!). refused drug rehab, maintained employment for 10 months (whoop de-doo), "started" this and that, garnered pity over his "ton of depression," and his "traumas." What a piece of work. He misses "My Wife" - Dude, she's not "your" anything anymore. Maybe he should reconsider drug rehab, find a professional counselor that doesn't pour his life into someone else's, and let the people you tried to destroy alone to heal.

@KEOSHAANEILIA

4 ай бұрын

💯

@Rose-kj7rz

3 ай бұрын

Right? And he says that about a mentor, in the same conversation that he's learned that he isn't owed help. The gaslighting is insane...

@rarebird_82

3 ай бұрын

For real. He was all me me me. Self depricating to try to avoid backlash. Coercive controlling coward

@cruiseny26

3 ай бұрын

Exactly. Hasn’t even done the work….

@stepek91

3 ай бұрын

He would just go back to old ways with her. That's only a year of changes vs like 4 years of escalated abuse.

An update would be interesting. If the only reason he was trying to improve himself was to get his ex-wife back, what happened when it didn't work?

“You cannot achieve love, you have to receive it.” Wow.

My exhusband broke my jaw after yrs of verbal abuse. I filed for divorce once the courts opened and he stalked me for 2yrs afterwards. He has assaulted every woman he's gotten with afterwards & is a dangerous individual. He even assaulted another girlfriend in front of our kids. He deserves nothing & I pray no woman ever has to experience him .

@Justaperson354

3 ай бұрын

I am so sincerely proud of you. I have daughters and I’d hope they’d have half the guts you had to leave and stay away. I could never imagine hurting my wife. I hope you found a truly loving partner and your kids are able to stay away from him. I wish dv was treated more seriously by the law.

@askalauna

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for that. It's been a tough road for us but we're strong & have navigated some perilous waters. He's continued to be problematic and currently owes his children 34k in back child support 😒.

@idekanymore3963

2 ай бұрын

As someone whose mom had been with an abusive narcissist for a time, I feel so much for you. It’s definitely not easy to have to hear someone being abused especially as a child, and the fact your ex husband was able to do that with another women in front of your children really sickens me. Thank god you left that situation and hopefully your kids will never experience that type of trauma again because it really leaves a mark seeing something like that. Thank you for sharing such a story because they are important.

@MC-cz5qd

2 ай бұрын

😢 ❤

@samanthapateman8054

2 ай бұрын

I wish there was a law for people like that to be banned from dating.

The world’s longest “that’s a no for me dawg.”

@purpurina5663

2 ай бұрын

😂 this is awful but you made me spit my coffee

The BEST counsel I ever received was from my therapist (30 years ago): 1. My husband's behavior was on an escalating trajectory, and that I was a hair's breadth away from getting my face broken, 2. Leave, but if you have to do that in the middle of the night (I did), then please call so I know you're safe, and 3. ***here's what will happen after you leave: he's going to call you and say "__________________", so know it's part of the plan, his plan, so DON'T FALL FOR IT. It played out exactly as she said it would. I left, knew what to expect, never went back, never looked back.

I love how the comment section and host are just not falling for it on any scale lmao

He sounds so crazy. Gives me chills how he giggles

@show_me_your_kitties

5 ай бұрын

Same. The giggling gives me a bad feeling.

@Isthisjoebiden

4 ай бұрын

Its a form of duping delight I gathered. Like teehee my plans working, got this guy fooled

@AltaicPride01

3 ай бұрын

He sounds like a creepy clown

@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf

3 ай бұрын

​@@IsthisjoebidenHe enjoys trying to dupe the host. His giggles are evil.

@farhanah2244

3 ай бұрын

My mum does those laughs... the entitled manipulating narc laughs..

The guy is waaay to charming and complimentary to John and showing emotion when he knows it’s appropriate socially. Signs of an abuser who knows he did something wrong and is trying to minimize and deflect.

@samanthapateman8054

2 ай бұрын

100% agree, he’s like an actor in a play.

@jennifersanchez9346

15 күн бұрын

Gonna say the same thing! Very manipulative and I guarantee he knows she listens to this show and he’s trying to get sympathy and show he has changed.

7:39 is absolutely haunting to me the way he said "I'm proud of her." You know he was angry as all hell when she left him. You can hear it in his voice. Also his nervous giggle is this is really infuriating.

He misses his ex wife because he has no control over her . He needs to knock her down emotionally and physically because of power and control . She should not to go back to him . He would be good for awhile but , he will slowly abuse her again . He needs his ego fed .

I beat her on more than one occasion and was abusive in other ways. She left me “I’m proud of her” for that, but I want her back……what a guy.

@hinatababe97

4 ай бұрын

Literally! That made me scowl. What an impotent loser & maniac

@tessy28

4 ай бұрын

He is honestly so horrible. What a beast!

@olive4naito

3 ай бұрын

Think of it as an addiction to heroin. It explains why a lot of abused women get stalked by their exes to no end unless they get arrested.

The extent abusers go to get their supply back is unbelievable. I hope she is safe.

@Onesha-lh3sp

Ай бұрын

No one gave him a high like she did!

leave her alone. Just leave her alone

As much progress as he has made, he’s not done. The fact that he would entertain the idea of her taking him back, he doesn’t fully see the trauma he has caused her. Yes, he knows he was wrong and his behavior was horrific and inexcusable. But he needs to see that he will forever be the face of the man who abused and hurt her. He will be the reason she will always have a wall up in any future relationship. And the fact that he thinks it would be good for him to be around her shows the work he still needs to do.