My Straying Spouse Returned But Won't Do What I Need - The Dr. Joe Show
Source:
www.spreaker.c...
Your spouse strayed. Maybe it was another person. Maybe you threw him/her out because of their behavior. Whatever the cause, you're now trying to make it work again.
But...
You expect total honesty. You demand that s/he talk about the problem. You want to be understood and you want to understand why s/he did the things s/he did. You thought that reconciling would automatically bring about deep conversations, transparency, accountability, and finally a marriage better than it was before.
Are those reasonable expectations?
Yes.
No.
You see, it's all about timing.
In this program Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss that when a couple think they are in reconciliation, many times they are actually in a step before that. No wonder they get frustrated; they're expectations don't match their reality.
If you and your spouse are wanting to reconcile - even thinking that you are reconciling - this program will give you insight into what to expect, what NOT to expect, what is okay to demand and which demands may be a deal breaker IF they are made too early.
If you wish more information about marriage that you can use, check out the free resources on www.MarriageHelper.com. If you wish to know more about the personal coaching that Dr. Beam and Jim discuss, call 615-472-1161.
Пікірлер: 14
Thank you so much for this video. It is exactly the situation I am in. I want so much to pick up our relationship from a point later on the love path. I realize now that we must start from the beginning with the attraction phase. I must be patient to show how I have changed myself for the better. I must not pressure her to get over the past. I need to soften my approach and my feelings and try to imagine we are getting to know each other for the first time. Only then can the trust and emotional connection be restored. Thank you so much Marriage Helper. We went to the workshop with Jim back in June this year. I learned so much and I will continue to trust in the process. I will continue to work on my PIES. I will continue to pray. I will continue to love and forgive.
Voice of wisdom!!! So interesting! So much I’m learning, wow!!! Seriously, if wasn’t for this channel and website my hope would be far gone!! Please, keep teaching us!!!!! 🙏
Cohabiting separate rooms for 15/16 months,,getting on far better,a little affection returned very recently,however,when she goes out,she stays out for hours,and my anxiety rises,and I can’t help myself but to text,and try to influence her to return,rather than move the goalposts,she decides to visit a friend on the spur of the moment,,still looks at herself as single,,I end up going a bit crazy over the apparent lack of respect
The person that broken the trust needs to be taught urgency and empathy
Cnc bank, no human should suffer like this, I feel your pain because I too have live through a few affairs and now I'm feeling like it maybe time to go.
Probably my favorite video of all! Got to be patient. Ugh!!
My God! The Bible says marriage between man and woman is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. And, for the marriages (like yours and mine) it surely is!
At what point do you feel you need to be honest with yourself and just walk away? My husband left. Filed for divorce. Had an affair. Asked her to marry him. Came back. Had another affair. We cant talk. Cant communicate. He will not go to to counseling. He hides his phone and blames me for EVERYTHING. Married for 15 years together for 18. He had been violent with me since coming back. We fight almost everyday.
@Heymonda8794
4 жыл бұрын
I would not let him come back unless he agree to go and complete individual and marriage counseling.
@paolomarano4457
4 жыл бұрын
Dana start making your self the catch you were. Improve yourself for you and hopefully he comes along if not you make yourself better for you and or the next person. If it goes that way. Either way fix yourself because we all carry the scars forward either with him or someone else. God help us all.
@Marriage Helper, How do approach a specific situation where your straying spouse returns, as described in this video, but she is "in the valley" between her spouse, and a NEW affair partner (not the first affair partner, from work, that she strayed with in the beginning)? In fact, she is supposed to be "healing" and working through her process of closing her heart to her old affair partner, and it is evident that she is pursuing an new affair, with an old flame from her past. Planning her new affair, at the same time her faithful husband is planning their 9 year wedding anniversary. What could be happening, to explain this? Are we starting over, and her beliefs and values have changed to where she feels like she is free to decide if she "should-have-would-have-could-have" with this old flame? We have 2 young children, 5 and 2. Its like Im starting over, we are friends, and she is making more effort to build something with a new affair partner (in this valley), rather than reciprocate my efforts to build a new relationship with me. Anyone with experience in this season of pain?
Do you just suck in your hurt feelings and act like everything's ok when he does something that hurts your feelings or fails to help you feel secure while rebuilding trust after affair and subsequent repeated dishonesty and hiding stuff? For instance staying gone all night when he knows that doesn't make me feel safe.
If you don't still love your spouse, why would you reconcile? I would think a spouse would think their spouse still loves them like that if they in fact do come home, otherwise, why would you?
@christyjohnson5618
4 жыл бұрын
Because they made a commitment. Their children, their responsibilities.