My mother has always told me that “if/when you decide to get married make sure you get along with the in-laws first, because you aren’t just marrying the guy, you are marrying his family too.” (She says this as someone who got stuck with monster-in-laws)

@juliearmfield2634

Ай бұрын

She a very wise woman.

@wendyaston9419

Ай бұрын

I wish I knew this BEFORE i got married, If I had to do it again I don't think I would have. ☹

@rachaeladams61

Ай бұрын

As you are marrying his family too then he is marrying your family aswell. Besides, marriage is not just about you and your partner, its a union between both sides of families.

@user-nq6xn6sw8b

Ай бұрын

Some people are good actors, like my in-laws: he cooked every time I was over and welcomed me, she did the same (they are divorced). Both told me "now I have a daughter". After marriage we moved closer to them, but after I gave birth to a second babyboy they showed their ugly true face. We moved away and they will never ever see their only grandchildren 🤷‍♀️

@rachaeladams61

Ай бұрын

@@user-nq6xn6sw8b That's a wise decision

For anyone who is curious about the outcome of Story 1: They broke up.

@adyashanayak7958

Ай бұрын

Did you see it in his account?

@scpfoundation8376

Ай бұрын

@@adyashanayak7958his story was actually reposted on best of redditor updates and he commented on there that they broke up after a week of trying to find a middle ground.

@Vikashar

Ай бұрын

Good

@ihatepeopleyes9492

Ай бұрын

As he should.

@lazallewillemse3617

Ай бұрын

Good for him

I hate reddit and how they coddle someone's terrible actions just because they're "young". That daughter is awful and so are the people defending her.

@gelusvenn5063

Ай бұрын

This, 100% this. I get that a lot of people had shitty narcissist parents but they can't project that onto other people's families.

@SnowyWolborg

Ай бұрын

Which is exactly how these exact same people end up making these same stupid choices as adults. Nobody held and responsible when they were young.

@humanzzzz

Ай бұрын

They just defended her because she's a female lmao If it was a son, people will absolutely went batshit pfft 😂😂😂

@sanicinapanic4264

Ай бұрын

I disagreed to the maximum most of the time they go scorched earth it’s very rare they would ever defend someone who would usually be considered the asshole

@RafitoOoO

29 күн бұрын

Yeah, that daughter is evil. If a similar situation happened in my house, the kid doing that is getting kicked out at their 18's bday eve and removed from the will. Be gone.

Story 1: the only answer to an ultimatum with calling the wedding off as s threat is "okay, it's off." Trying to resolve arguments with coercion has to be countered with equal consequences.

ST1 We all know full well had they been allowed to live in the house, they’d change everything, slowly takeover, try to forge ownership of the house, one day op would go out to work, run errands etc and they’d change the locks.

@cototototorra7106

Ай бұрын

tbh best case scenario is that it gets turned into a do it for dan situation and they get evicted between the following months

@darrylblanch8463

Ай бұрын

​@@cototototorra7106 I hated that story but loved the ending & OPs shiny spine. This story was giving me similar vibes also.

@cototototorra7106

Ай бұрын

@@darrylblanch8463 op seems to know his worth, so fingers crossed he actually gets out of his gf actually turns out to be a gold digger

@arib371

5 күн бұрын

@@cototototorra7106 I love that the Dan story is so widely known… it’s a way to reference just how much the psychos have the audacity towards whomever.

I am so sick of reddit siding with teenagers. We were all teenagers. We all knew right from wrong. Im so sick of people acting like they're toddlers who just havent learned yet. 14 is old enoigh to know when youre being a rude pos

Dump her. She does not care for you she allows her parents to treat you like crap. Tell her bye

@WeaponXSigma

19 күн бұрын

There was an update to that post. They ended up breaking up

@utkarshbhardwaj6198

Күн бұрын

​@@WeaponXSigma Any other updates on this ? Like what goes down that they broke up?

2nd: I don’t how people can defend OP’s daughter most normal people have some thing called empathy.

@yolo12345lol

Ай бұрын

You think you have the capacity to see your own mother regressed into a potato, let alone a teenager?

@shells500tutubo

Ай бұрын

@@yolo12345lol Yes. Most teenagers, unless sociopaths or mentally deficient, have the capability to understand personality changes due to a brain tumor. I remember my aunt's husband who had a stroke when I was maybe eight years old. When we visited the family on our annual vacation I asked why Uncle Pete was limping and talking funny, and my mother explained to me what a stroke was. I spent time walking around the yard with him everyday holding his hand while he had his cane in the other hand. I spent time talking to him and showing him flashcards that my mother gave me and told me how to help him. But I am a human and not a "special princess" like the entitled bish of a daughter.

@yolo12345lol

Ай бұрын

@@shells500tutubo how much relatioship with that uncle did you build beforehand?

@zackkatian3436

Ай бұрын

@@shells500tutubo I was diagnosed as a high functioning sociopath and even I can understand someone's personality shifting due to injury or disease. You do not need a strong sense of empathy to understand.

@volfreude2637

Ай бұрын

yeah, bur you got to understand she was a human, and we just experience like 10-15 minutes of their lives trough a post, for her, it was her entire life for a while. im not justifying it, im just saying not everyone can have the perfect reaction to horrible situations like this, and seems like the daughter didn't have much of an intance to get away from said situation to take breathers, until she did in Uni, and then she got better.

2nd: I don’t think the issue with the daughter was that she felt abandoned in her teenage years because OP had to take care of his disabled wife. It was mentioned towards the end. The daughter was literally ashamed of being around her mom because she was worried about appearances and what others would think of her having a disabled mom. IMO there’s no changing the daughter after learning all this information. She will always be concerned about other people’s opinion and appearances.

Story 2. It's unbelievable that people are on the daughter's side. I guess they are as studid as the daughter, even at bigger age. If my parents were ever at such state, I would do my best to help them, and try my best to only smile in front of them. I can't even imagine how sad the mother was feeling watching her only child having such a behavior towards her.. If I was the father, I would give two choices to her. Either behave the right way, and care for your mother, or get away from my house and don't ever come back.

Story #1: I remember this one. The fiance doesn't get to try and play big happy family when _her_ parents are the ones who have been giving OP attitude and disrespect from day one. Not to sound shallow, but I think she's clearly forgetting that he is the one coming into a life-changing amount of money and that in the long run, she's replaceable.

@varun009

15 күн бұрын

Honestly, I get that marriage is about "sharing" and all that crap, but any decent person doesn't start matter-of-factly spending your money without a thought. If I had a rich wife, I'd be a bit worried about my contribution, not out of fear of being replaced but just out of human decency and dignity. Nobody wants to be paid for and all belive in reciprocity.

The fact Op's wife knew everything that happened, knew he made the efforts, still even suggested it is a major red flag. The fact she gave him an ultimatum means she has already made the choice for both of them. I personally could not trust her after this, and now would be worried that the money would be an issue down the line in some regard

Story one was posted on best of redditor updates. OP comments on it multiple times also confirming that they broke up: Update: We broke up Yeah, I made the post 20 days ago. But after a week of trying to come to some sort of middle ground, and having new different plans in life. Wasn't going to work out. It is what it is, but in the end there were new fundamental differences we couldn't get passed.

Story 1 I hope op cancels the wedding, she is clearly a gold digger. She is subtle one but she is one. Also not being liked by the in laws is really a recipe for disaster.

@wickedashley

Ай бұрын

How is she subtle? 🤣🤣🤣

@rizon72

Ай бұрын

Is she a gold digger, yeah, she did morph into one. But it came about after a poor decision by OP after gaining wealth and his parents. That decision sparked everything else.

I would not have gone to that college while the brat went

If you partner won't defend you against their parents then what's the point. They'll leave in sickness or first sign of trouble. Poor dude has been with his GF so long that he's gaslit himself into thinking it's acceptable as long as he ignores them. Nah bro, most people are fairly normal, not like that.

@SnowyWolborg

Ай бұрын

Especially when the parents are objectively in the wrong. They have been trying to sabotage this relationship from day one, but she expects an olive branch to be extended by the victim? That ain't how it works.

Story 1: Expecting OP to live under the same roof as people who treat him with contempt? A roof he provides BTW. Issuing ultimatums? OP's fiancee evidently has some dream of everybody joining hands and singing kumbaya. She sees the warmth on OP's side of the family and would like to see that from her side... but that simply won't happen. Too much sh*tty treatment for there ever to be anything more than cool civility. If OP's fiancee can accept the situation as it is and proceed from there then there could be a future for their relationship. If she continues to cling to a fantasy of all living happily ever after, forcing everybody into a straight jacket to conform to her vision, then that spells misery for everybody. Story 2: Selfish self absorbed teenage girl hurts everybody around her because she can't be the main character? Stop the presses! This has never happened before! /s

‘She refused to sign the prenup until I agreed to give her material items.” Next sentence… ‘She’s obviously not with me for money.’ Receiving literal money isn’t the only way to benefit from another’s (especially a spouse’s) wealth. Is he just so used to gold diggers that that’s how low his bar is?

ExFiance - "If you don't let my gold digging parents that hate you live with us and expunge off you, I'll call off the wedding." OP- "Bet." She must've thought she shat gold or had 🐱power, cuz he's listed bothing but reasons why he should've BEEN left her long before he inherited anything cuz of her parents alone. Now add her true colors and attitude since he (with right and reason) won't live with people who despise him and he doesn't like. She's a whole other level of Delulu for that argument. Story 2: The daughter is ableist and cares too much for the opinions of others, which will only spell Disaster for the future if she doesn't check that (and I doubt she will). No amount of guilt tripping by OP is going to change that even if he did deny her the extra curriculars since that thinking was in before that

@sweeety969

13 күн бұрын

Expunge?

@CG-yb6zj

13 күн бұрын

@@sweeety969 Typo, it was just supposed to say "Sponge off"

She is not the woman of your dreams if she is trying to force you to live with people you do not like.

OP is like "after 6 years, I think its worth it to see if we can make this work", I would agree if she hadn't literally just given hiim an ultimatum to make him live with people that hate him, or the weddings off. She doesn't think its worth working out from that choice alone. hope he gets rid and it really strains her relationship with her parents, so she can actually put distance and start new relationship without their toxicity influencing it

To Anyone Going Through A Similar Situation: NO!!!! YOU NEVER COMPROMISE WITH GREEDY PEOPLE WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR MONEY!

She doesn't want some titanic sized ring, just something a bit more noticeable? OP put a lot of time & effort into getting her a ring & now he inherited money she wants a "more noticeable one"? OP, she wants a status symbol of wealth. She wants you to fund her parents lives dispite how disgusting they were to you (did she defend you or believe them? or did nothing either way?) untill you got wealth. Adamantly refused a prenuptial unless you buy an extravagant rign & yearly expensive holiday. Giving ultimatums & Throwing tantrums. Don't fall for "sunken cost" thinking, look carefully at whole relationship, take note of her attitudes when her parents were doing all their crap, of how they instantly changed when OP got wealth, about how she changed when you got wealth. Has she started to subtly mention about how "she could so much for you if she wasn't working or working so much", wanting to goto high end places for food/clothing & accessories where as before she was happy to just go out with you. Look carefully at changes then compare from before you got wealth, yes everyone changes when you get wealth, its expected but is she slowly starting to treat your wealth as hers or just caught up in the moment? Does she expect you to forgive & forget all her parents did to you? Does she expect her parents to ACTUALLY truely apologise for their years of abuse, lies & manipulations? Sorry OP, I think this relationship has run its course if she can't see or wont see that her parents are terrible & she enables them to continue like that. Good luck, your gonna need it.

Just started, but first advice: *Dont ever 'not work again.'* It's a first class ticket to depression. Men need a load to pull or a struggle to overcome. Without that they have no purpose in life. Dostoyevski's Letters from the Underground is a perfect illustration of this. The advantage you have with all your money is you have more of an option to choose your struggle. But for your own sake make it a struggle. A life cannot be fulfilled with pleasure alone. It needs a purpose.

Story 1: OP needed to bail out on that relationship ASAP. Good god…

First story is entirely unbelievable. He supposedly switched to working retail and that gave him _more_ time to visit his grandfather? I just don't see it. Long thankless hours on your feet and the stress of never having enough money isn't conducive to having more time & energy to visit grandpa.

@MilleniaStone

Ай бұрын

In some places, some retail stores are small and easy it's not a Walmart, and some areas are cheap. Just gotta find it but many people aren't willing to goto those areas.

@Bingotaco

Ай бұрын

It could've easily been him getting much less hours than what was required from his previous job. And considering he made the switch specifically to have time to care for his grandfather he probably never came home and thought that he didn't have the energy for it. He likely just kind of took the exhaustion head-on so he could be there. It's possible, just not something that happens every day.

@smallpseudonym2844

Ай бұрын

@@Bingotaco Fair, that's plausible, even if I still feel it's unlikely. Aside: It's amusing discussing the plausibility of given events with "Elizabeth Hurley"

@Bingotaco

Ай бұрын

@@smallpseudonym2844 it certainly would be difficult to maintain so it is unlikely lol. The name thing is hilarious but entirely coincidental, I pretty much just learned about it 3 years ago myself oddly enough.

@shells500tutubo

Ай бұрын

I thought he switched jobs to be near his gf, and was living there rent free.

People aren't in-laws until the marriage is consummated.

This is one of those stories where it would nice to get her side of the story.

Op in story 1 was thinking about the sunk cost fallacy, and is still thinking like a poor man. They have been with each other their entire adult lives, so he needs to ditch her, which he thankfully did, get his financial act together and THEN start dating again. And for heaven's sake, start dating women with similar financial expertise with good incomes. So many of these stories are of couples with severe income disparities. He now has enough money to pay someone to bet the women he dates so he doesn't waste his time.

Long story short they move in they kick you out.

So... Derek's pressure lead Allison to go out of her way and label OP as a drama queen?

“Let them move in or we’ll break up 😡” “Let’s break up 🤷🏽‍♀️” Me *deez nutz meme guy* “HA!! GOTTEM!! HA!” 🤣🤣

Story 2: Daughter is a fool

Story 1- your fiance and her family sound like a nightmare. You are creating a big storm in your life. Make sure her parents move in and she keeps her job because she'll be gone in 10 years once you're married 10years

Story 1: The fiance is not the next Jesus or miracle girl or whatever her parents claim her to be. She can never be, honestly there is no other person on earth that can never be compared to Jesus Christ. Jesus had God on his side and was willing to make sacrifices for us and when he died. Op's fiance didn't made any sacrifices for Op and just let him get belittled and put down by her parents, Op is way better of without her, Op is out of her league just how she is out of his league.

living together for four years is technically common law partner ship

Story 1: OP needs to ask what his fiancee's parents are willing to do to build bridges? He will let them move into his property rent free, pay the majority of their bills and treat them with respect. What will they do?

if your fiance does not except knowing how her parents have been... i believe you need to not marry. this is too big a thing to bypass.

Ungrateful daughter

The future in-laws in story 1 are desperately calling with fake apologies so their plans of being able to use OP's money doesn't go up in smoke.

Story 1: “She said she’d sign a prenup if she gets a large ring and vacations consistently.” “She’s definitely not with me for my money.”

What the hell is this dude building? He keeps accomplishing nothing.

Is this girl the soul mate or just the person you are comfortable with?

S1: Dood needs to be careful. She's going to get pregnant.

Very minuscule part for me to be commenting on, but i get the ring thing. Im not big on jewelry. But if i were to get married, id at least want it to be SOMETHING i like if i were to be wearing it every day for the rest of my life. I fucking HATE diamonds. They are fucking ugly, and ill DIE on that hill. It would be an automatic NO if someone proposed to me with one, because why would you get me the ONE gem you know i absolutely despise? 🤨 Sapphire, emerald, Alexandrite(that one specifically) are the ones id want. I dont even care if its from amazon as long as its good quality and one of those three gems 😂

What the hell is the guy doing in the minecraft video?

For Story 1, it really depends on how strong your marriage is. Obviously you proposed so there's something there, but from what he said, it doesn't really sound like his relationship is that great. If she was truly the love of MY life, I would spin the ultimatum back on her parents. I would meet with the 2 in-laws and be brutally honest with them. The conversation would go something like this: " I've been having a hard time with your daughter. We've been getting into arguments most of of them are about you. You guys clearly don't like me. You've said and done horrible things to me. Attempted to break us up. Framed me for cheating. Your daughter understandably wants us to work out our relationship since we're going to be married soon, but I don't. Because I don't like the 2 of you either. "I have recently inherited quite a bit of money and a large cabit to live in that could fit both of us as well as our 4 parents. I want my parents there, but I don't want you there. Obviously that upset my fiancee, but it's my house and I can have anyone I want there. Your daughter threatened to call of the wedding because of this. We love each other and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but my relationship with you 2 is tearing us apart and I don't want to do that. So unless you want to ruin your daughters marriage and destroy our relationship, you're going to start treating me with respect and work towards righting all the wrongs over the years." And then if they start treating you better and are truly showing remorse for the things they've done and it's genuine, I would forgive them for the sake of my soon wife.

In the first story, everything started when OP gained wealth and decided to provide for his parents. Everything after that comes from that poor decision.

@JyS1991

29 күн бұрын

No, his relationship was doomed already before the money. Her parents don't like him and she likes her parents. Unless something changes (her parents start liking him or she starts being "yeah, my parents suck"), that wil cause a break-up eventually. And he is NOT interested in fixing anything. They hate him, they did stuff that's really bad because they hate him, now he hates them, the end. It might take 5years, or 10years, or 20years, but it will, because that's a constant source of stress/unhappiness/conflict in her life. And eventually everyone starts desiring for way more peace and calm in their life and at that point she won't be able to get that without either divorcing from him or her parents, because she can't make her parents stop or her partner stop. The only thing she can control is herself. And because her parents are her parents, she will probably pick them. And even if she in first instance picks his side and drops her parents, then the resentment grows and she'll start seeing him as the reason why she doesn't have her parents anymore.

@rizon72

28 күн бұрын

@@JyS1991 His relationship with his GF was fine, up to the point he decided to provide for his parents. When coming into money, don't start paying for others.

@JyS1991

28 күн бұрын

@rizon72 I'm not saying it wasn't fine, I'm saying that the struggle with her parents was gonna cause the end of the relationship eventually anyway.

STORY #2: OP could have possibly saved his wife by googling "midlife crisis". It doesn't mean what he thinks it means.

S1 nta pls 🙏 walk away. Story 2 obviously communicate 🙄 but it might be time for walking away to keep your mental health

S.1. Maybe this might help. You both write down pro's and con's of your relationship and what you both want in this relationship and marriage. Then, write down on a separate piece of paper what it is that you both want out of this marriage and why. Then, you exchange the for each other's answers, after going over the answers, you tell each other what you can and can't live with or without. And do you two really know each other who they really are, as for her parents no they shouldn't live with you two, nor yours. I think you both should be responsible for your own parents, money, hire help ECT. But, not living with you. As for her parents make it clear to them that in order for them to step foot into your home, they're to keep snide, and rude remarks to themselves and when they don't no longer welcome in your home. Say, my parents have manors and respect your daughter do they have manors. Then see where you two are after that.

Yo W

The in-laws will not pay a thing.

S1 so op was basically unemployed while other people had to work so grandpa had a fit

1. story. This is a real me, me, me story. After practically declaring himself as a saint, not once he thinks about what someone else wants or even thinks about asking them. He has decided that what he wants is what everyone wants, and people who question that are suddenly after his money. He says he's seeing red flags but doesn't realize he himself is the biggest red flag here. Prepper granddad probably left him the money because he has the same mentality, paranoia.

I feel like he goaded that argument in the last story. At no point did he try to understand his 14 Year old daughter cuz he was still trying to make up for hisown guilt. I get why she stopped talking to him in the end. She will prolly make up with the mom before him