"It's not a movie for sentient, breathing, living beings" - Kermode gold.

@LJY08

5 жыл бұрын

@@davidjames579 According to Kermode? Yes.

@darrylwynwilliams1760

3 жыл бұрын

'HAIL KING KERMODE ' 😎

@questionitall3053

3 жыл бұрын

As George Carlin said “it’s called the American dream, cuz you have to be asleep to believe it” I say RIP George Carlin sir.

This was 4 or so years ago and they still bicker about Mark thanking the person who brings him coffee

@theochambers8090

2 жыл бұрын

I was so confused by that lol! Why is it a big deal to the other guy that he said thanks? 😭🤣

@henrygvidonas9573

Жыл бұрын

@@theochambers8090 They were live on the radio. You're not supposed to talk to people in the studio that the audience won't hear answer. You're also not supposed to interrupt yourself mid-sentence like that. Assistants, engineers, technicians, and producers are not supposed to be heard on the air either. It's standard protocol in practically every professional radio studio on the planet. Has been since day one for very good reasons. The audience should not have to wonder what's going on in the studio that they can't see - and the people on the microphone shouldn't have to explain things that have nothing to do with the actual programme. Broadcasters have these rules hammered into their heads before they ever get on the air for the very first time and it's considered rude and unprofessional to violate them.

@warlockofwordschannel7901

8 ай бұрын

It's happened again many times since then.

@cipherhex

3 ай бұрын

This was 10 or so years ago now and they *STILL* bicker about Mark thanking the person who brings them coffee 😂

"Thankyou" *gets told off for saying thankyou* *suggested: a nod, instead* "Ok, thankyou." "Thankyou." ^^^^ The most English exchange, ever.

@b3ardmandan439

2 жыл бұрын

1:30

"This is like swimming in a sewer," *whispers* "and not in a good way". Ok then.

Explaining the Werner Herzog comment: In 2006, Mark Kermode was with Herzog when someone accidentally shot Herzog with an air rifle. He was completely unfazed by it.

@styxcreek

5 жыл бұрын

And all the movies he made with Klaus Kinski..

@Oceanmachine27

5 жыл бұрын

"It was not a significant bullet"

@GrainneMhaol

3 ай бұрын

And that time he ate a shoe.

I was having a miserable day, but then I listened to this review and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Very soothing and cathartic.

"Werner Herzog could look at pain and gain and actually be scare" BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

It's like Bay tried to make a Coen Brothers movie, but dropped it in a mixmaster and painted it as garishly as possible. I've heard it suggested by some fans and critics that Bay is an actual sociopath and I tend to agree.

When Kermode rants, that is entertainment at its best!

I'm so glad Mark Kermode is in the world, he is in my opinion, the only vital critic out there.

@okyabo

5 жыл бұрын

you should definitely check out adum from 'yms reviews' on yt

@Hannibal082

3 жыл бұрын

bo 99-01 He's aight.

Wow, Kermode really knows how to condemn a film. This review was so engrossing to watch.

I think it's fair to say that Pain and Gain has now been successfully bashed into oblivion.

@gandalfstormcrow7943

6 жыл бұрын

Oblivion, you say? Have you heard of the high elves?

@orangewarm1

5 жыл бұрын

i didnt expect Citizen Kane

@BenQotsa

3 жыл бұрын

The film is terrible, but the rock was the best thing about it

It was very funny when he said " Even Werner Herzog would look at this movie and be scared"🤣🤣

@gammaALAN

Жыл бұрын

Right!!!

This and the Sex In the City 2 review have some of the best rewatch value of anything on youtube! 😂

Werner Herzog...would've been scared! LOL!

When Mark brought up Bernie that made me smile. Bernie is such a good movie that is based on a true story and is a Jack Black underrated classic.

@volodymyrbilyk555

Жыл бұрын

It's Jack's finest hour after School of Rock

The thing is, his heart may be ugly, but it's not exactly a malicious or malcontented kind of ugly, it more a kind of ugliness that one can simply attribute to incompitence, stupidity, and general immaturity.

@twyckoff87

3 жыл бұрын

well said

@nazirkazi2588

5 ай бұрын

*Incompetence. Ironic.

Never even heard of these people or this film but, this man had my ears glued he is like Simone of movies.

This is my favorite Kermode review to date. Although Herzog never feels fear. He understands despair and the futility of the human struggle, but he lacks the organ necessary for processing fear. Just like irony.

I'm going to make the assumption that Mark isn't that fond of this film, but I could be wrong.

"A void-like abyss of blackness" This was awesome :P

i don't think i have ever seen Mark tear apart a film like this before.

I've long wanted to articulate my feelings toward Michael Bay. Thank you so much for doing it so perfectly that I never have to long to be able to again. Bravo.

I really like that Kernmode is open and direct when he really doesn't like a movie. So rare in this world where everyone is just out for the advertizement dollars and nobody dares to criticize anything for fear of economic backlash.

"You've crossed the Rubicon"

I actually got excited when I saw the trailer for this film purely because I knew we would be in for another classic rant!

Michael Bay: "An eighteen-wheeler spins out of control and it's all like BROSSHH! And then this huuuge tanker full of dynamite - CRRSHGHGHHG!" General: "Those aren't ideas, those are special effects!" Michael Bay: "I... don't understand the difference."

I love that these reviews have gotten longer. Very nice!

"Many varieties of thunder." Coming soon.

Woah, this might actually be up there with his Elizabethtown and Death Proof reviews... Best Kermode rant in ages!

Not to mention Hangover III. That's my all-time favourite. He was SO numb from it!

“This is like swimming in a sewer…but not in a good way.” should be on the dvd.

'void like abyss of blackness and death' lol fantastic

"It is not a movie for sentient breathing living beings." Well that's a DVD cover quote if there ever was one.

"Werner Herzog could look at pain and gain and actually be scared" Damn!

Bit of a shame that the very end of the review is actually cut off here. Simon asks Mark if it's worse than Sex In The City 2, and Mark answers very much in the affirmative.

"you have put your head down the toilet of life" omg that line zinged me!!!

I never thought I'd hear a better rip on a movie that exceeded Sex and the City 1, 2, or Little Man but Mr. Kermode has outdid himself. I loved it. Not many American critics would have such a personal perspective on a movie. Even Siskel and Ebert when doing there "Worst of the Year" special episode never struck back so hard. I have never seen a Micheal Bey movie nor never have the intention to. Time can be spent in much more productive ways. I'll just stare at a blank screen instead.

Was there a review in here somewhere?

I have to watch this movie now, I won't be paying to watch it nor will I buy it, I will instead wait to see it on TV. This review was magnificent and important :) Cheers Mark!

His greatest movie review EVER

This is one of the best reviews of anything ever

“You have put your head down the toilet of life” Thats one of the best insults Ive ever heard

I liked film, it made me think about many things, for me it's most important.

excellent rant, added to favourites :D

I don't know this gentleman or anything about the movie but that was a rant for the ages. Bravo!

This may be the most wonderfully savage review since the days of Jonathan Swift and Daniel Defoe!!!! And the kicker is ... he is absolutely spot on! Thank goodness there are still voices out there that will put up with only so much when it comes to a medium they otherwise love and respect!! Bravo!

Man, that is one great rant at the end

I've been waiting months for this review.

The face Kermode pulls at 6:42, where I happened to have paused, effectively sums up this whole review.

I'd love to see a poster for Pain and Gain with Mark's comments as the quotes.

gonna go see this , this week. thanks mark

i was waiting for this!!!!!!

after watching this review, I REALLY want to see this movie.

So it's his favourite film of the year then?

Sometimes I just don't want mark's reviews of films he hate to end :)

Best Kermode rant of the year!

I want to see it now !

Love how Mark interrupts what little time he has to discuss the dog fart of a movie to give a wee thanks to the coffee man, most presenters would just give them a wave

I completely agree with Mr Kermode!

I've never seen Kermode so brutal. He's making me want to watch it.

After a review like this, I can't help but want to see the film. The sheer viscera of Kermode's reaction is compelling me in that direction...

Wow. I have been waiting for that level of Kermodian rant for some time. Great stuff! By the way, what *is* the good way?

fantastic rant!

“You have put your head down the toilet of life” hahahahaha

@2:12 - I think we need to comment on the most shocking part of that clip. That Mark Wahlberg - a notorious New England Patriots fan - agreed to wear a Miami Dolphins t-shirt. 'But he was just acting', you say? Oh, come on - Marky Mark can't act!

I quite liked it!

I kind of want to see it now.

Now that Crash has been mentioned in the same sentence as a Michael Bey film I'm going to have to wash my copy of it.

Absolutely love the way Mark articulates such passionate hatred for some movies. This is one for the history books!

BEST KERMODEAN RANT EVER. EVER. PERIOD.

This is the best review I've ever heard! :D Not watching the movie, that's for sure.

"void-like abyss"...classic.

There's nothing quite like a good Kermode rant.

All of Kermodes' well articulated points are reasons why you have to watch this film.

Amazing!

Now that's a review!

i loved it.

werner hertzog would be scared looking into michael bay's soul. ROFL best film critic of all time.

"There is a difference between comically deconstructing something and just standing around, laughing at roadkill"

Finally, a proper Kermodean rant!

A proper Kermodian rant. I have some friends who wanted to see this movie and as a result I frankly think a bit less of them.

This is classic Kermode haha!

I've missed you Mark.

The guy who walked in at 4:50 with the coffee must have wondered what on earth was Kermode talking about.

This classic stuff, right along with Transformers and Pirates :D

Why does Michael Bay have a film career?

@austinung4710

5 жыл бұрын

Because his films make money.

@tiotom9217

5 жыл бұрын

Because his films appeal to idiots.

@ScreamQueenObv

2 жыл бұрын

Spielberg likes him too

New rant.. yay :D

The Lugo/Doorbal case formed part of a chunk of criminology study I did some years ago, so when I heard it was being made into a movie I was interested, until Michael Bay's name was attached. But then I thought that he might have been attempting to take a step up. I was very wrong. If you've seen the movie but don't know the story on which it's based, I can tell you that _all_ of the violence occurred. One man in particular was the victim of prolonged torture and several attempts to take his life. For some reason, Bay decided that if he turned that man into an asshole on the big screen, we'd all laugh along as Wahlberg, Rock etc. subjected him to a litany of horrors.

i quite liked it.

Blimey Charlie, what a great review.

Haha,brilliant.wasn't going to watch it anyway,but now I know why. Bay hasn't disappointed.

This is going to be good :D

I really hate it when Mark sits on the fence like this...

Dayum Mark

7:46 When is swimming in a sewer ever good?

I liked the movie a lot, it's funny. Seen it already twice.

Damn. You tore this movie to shreds.

Love this film.

One of your greatest ever rants, Mark!