They dont want you to feel the way they do. They dont want to be responsible for anothers downfall.

I push people away because I’m suffering and I don’t want anyone to be around me because it doesn’t help.

@walidfartassi

Ай бұрын

well thats why my girlfriend broke up with me but you should try to work on your depression for your sake not for relationships or anything else ,its a matter of years where you can heal your self ,so you can feel loved again, work on your depression the right way,start exercising ,start a healthy diet,meditate ,notice your thoughts , and deal with them as thoughts , im not saying its easy but its not impossible , i had anxiety and depression and panic attacks everyday but now i feel much better and i can date nomaly, i was once in your shoes ,i will get better if u toke the first step and stay consistant to it.

"you can love them no matter what... You still get to enjoy loving them, because love is not for them, it's a feeling you feel in your body.... But you're gonna have a hard time doing that if you haven't loved yourself first."

My boyfriend is struggling with suicidal depression and just recently decided to break up with me. I’ve been so hurt and confused and I was always trying to be there for him and help him through. I didn’t understand why leaving me was what’s best for him, but your words have helped immensely to understand that. Thank you so much ♥️

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm glad the video helped a little. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Loving him is a lesson in accepting reality, allowing and processing painful emotions and finding your own strength in self love. Those are not easy lessons. I hope it helps to know that you're not alone with them 💛

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

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2 жыл бұрын

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2 жыл бұрын

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My ex was numb and left me because he couldn't feel anything, even love. It's hard but I can't stay with someone who so easily pushes me away. Even if he's depressed all I can hope is that he gets help.

Thank you. Im experiencing this right now with my boyfriend pushing me away saying our relationship is pointless and it won't work.

As someone on the other side of this, it’s enlightening to hear reasons why I am acting this way. I’m not usually emotionally intelligent enough to come about these conclusions on my own. Thank you.

There's "pulling away," and then there's abuse. I suffered emotional abuse from my depressed partner and it got worse and worse. I finally allowed myself to do what was best for my survival and leave.

@LokwandzaZubuko

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for highlighting this, most not all videos about depression seem to forget to mention that.

@soumyadeepsengupta9797

7 ай бұрын

It shows how hollow love has become. Just words … congratulations 🥳

@youknowkbbaby

7 ай бұрын

Good for you!

@sammyh180984

7 ай бұрын

This is my struggle atm, I’m not sure if he’s depressed or actually mentally abusive and drip feeding me niceties, affection and glimmers of good

@rnopes21

3 ай бұрын

@@sammyh180984 it can be both. So many people do not pay attention to the fact that their mental health struggles can and have been weaponized to abuse others.

No person can take away major depression. You just have to sit in it until it goes away.

I needed this 🥺 I love her more than anything, she's my world. I will always love her no matter what, through thick and thins. Even things get hard, I'll be there for her no matter what. Thank you so much 🤍

@Anonymous-ze2mu

Жыл бұрын

😢😢😢😢

@lorenzrosenthal119

Жыл бұрын

dude, if "she is your world", you don't love YOURSELF!! She is a PART of your world. But how do you want to stabilize her if she IS your world?

@kencarey6483

4 ай бұрын

How did you do it

It's so hard because you want to help them and they push you away. All you want to do is love them but they put up barriers even when trying to understand.

I am going through this right now and this video has really opened my eyes. I have been blaming myself for our separation for the last two months and it has really drug me down. I have realized that she is going through depression herself that I never even knew she had. I have made her a promise to support her through this and let her know I am not going anywhere. It is really sad to watch someone you love so much go through depression but if you love them you have to pray for them and be there for them even if its from a distance.. Thank you so much for the videos.

@Cylon33

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going through this with my partner

@amandaforeman7441

3 жыл бұрын

I am in the same boat! Maybe we should chat for support!

@KingJGS

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. Good to know other people out there understand.

@Cylon33

3 жыл бұрын

I'm same boat with my bf

@brianmorrison8126

3 жыл бұрын

@@amandaforeman7441 she filed for divorce

so this is how she felt … ever since she left i’ve been searching for a reason as to why. we were heavy on psychology while together so i figured psychology would lead me to the answer. i began to ask why she left. she told everything this video says. she felt unworthy of love. she felt like she was dragging me down. if only she knew.

I'm going through this rn. It's really hard and draining but as his partner, I should be strong and understand his issues and I believe things will get better soon.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

I hear you. And I know you've heard this... but make sure you take time for yourself and get help where YOU need it (from friends, family, counselors, support groups etc). Supporting someone when they are struggling with depression can be so draining, and you are not doing him or yourself any favors if you are emotionally exhausted. This was something it took me a long time to realize - being strong sometimes means acknowledging your own pain and asking for help and support where you need it. It is not an easy thing to do. But it will make all the difference for you, which could make all the difference for him.

Thank you for this, my boyfriend recently broke up with me and ive been extremely upset. I watched this video and realised what you was describing was exactly what he was doing. This calmed me down a lot

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad this video helped. If you need more support, I have a whole list of free resources you can find here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

@michellelohde8683

Жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach my girlfriend been pushing me away now she been open up to me she was raped last week now she be talking to me how help her ??.

All the examples you gave is referring to my bf 10000%. We going to a have a talk this weekend about it, and to show him how I'm going to be there for him and work on my own emotional strength too. I love him so incredibly much, and I know when he says he's losing feelings that deep in his heart he doesn't mean that.

The fact that they don't talk to me brings me down, I'm overthinking like crazy. she says she needs a break...I may need to end it because it's messing with my health

@miguelfurtado3086

3 жыл бұрын

same situation man,idk if she has depression but she is being followed by a therapist and the relationship is still being destroyed cause she treats me worse nad worse iam so sad

@danielrivera3603

3 жыл бұрын

@@miguelfurtado3086 sorry to hear that bro

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. The overthinking and stress can definitely take a toll on your health, and the not talking can trigger so many doubts. What does your brain tell you when she won't talk to you? What do you think or fear? How do you feel in response? If you can start to track those thoughts and the specific things that trigger them (a look, a word, a silence in response to a question...) you may begin to notice some patterns in your own brain and emotions that will help you to take care of yourself and begin to feel better, even if she isn't able to connect with you right now. Ending it is always an option. Either way, I would encourage you to take a really close look at the thoughts and feelings that are triggered by your relationship. Even if you two aren't together, you're taking the underlying beliefs and emotional habits with you, and either way you'll need to work through them to find relief that lasts.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately therapy doesn't always change the dynamic in your relationship. Do you have anyone you can reach out to for support? Or who can be with you in the sadness and help you get through it?

I’m watching this as the depressed partner and I feel super guilty about all of the things my husband has to go through to put up with me.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing that. I'd like to offer you same perspective how to give your husband- What he's feeling, what he's thinking and what he's "going through" is not about you. It is not your fault. If something you say or do triggers a reaction in your husband, that is his. Someone else may respond in a very very different way. In fact they would. I work with a lot of different people and a lot of different relationships, and I can tell you that 4 people in four marriages with four different partners who struggle with depression all react in four very different ways. You are not your husband's problem. His suffering is caus ed by long-held systems of belief and habits of emotion. Things you do or say may trigger those old patterns to come up for him, but that is nothing to do with you. That is his. Likewise your emotions and your thoughts are your responsibility. And that includes your guilt. I would encourage you to take a really close look at that feeling of guilt. What are the thoughts connected to it? From what you wrote imagine it's something like "I'm a bad person for putting him through this" or "this isn't fair for him"... Is it something like that or is there something else there? The next step is to witness, in a deeply honest way, what you do out of guilt. How do you act? What do you say? What do you not say? How does the thought and the emotion affect the way you show up in the world? Is it serving you? Relationships are incredibly powerful because, when we are able to be vulnerable with each other and reach for each other and sit with each other in our pain and suffering and fear and doubt, there is space for healing for both parties. However it is unrealistic to believe that two people will always be able to both reach and respond. Both actions involve so much risk, and we are all dealing with deeply ingrained habits and patterns of attachment and defense. That doesn't mean we can't love and live and grow together. It does mean that you do not need to take responsibility for your husband's experience, and he doesn't need to take responsibility for yours. In fact trying to do that actually makes it harder for you to be there, for you to reach or to respond to him. I hope that this is helpful. The intention behind these videos is certainly not to add to anyone's suffering.

@courtneyyoungmusic

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Rachael. The guilt and shame definitely doesn’t help when I am already depressed and anxious. I realise that we’re both responsible for our own emotions. The guilt I think I’ve been feeling since I was a small child, definitely thoughts of ‘I am unworthy of his love/love in general’, ‘I am a bad person and a selfish person for putting him and my son through this’, ‘what is wrong with me’, ‘everyone will be better off without me’ etc Appreciate this video to get a broader perspective.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

@@courtneyyoungmusic I'm so glad it's been helpful. And it's wonderful that you can identify and track those thoughts and the feelings of shame and guilt that come along with them. The incredible thing about the human brain is it's plasticity - those thoughts, and those feelings, can change if you bring your attention and intention to them. The first step to doing that is to recognize and track them, which you're already doing 💚💚💚

@kencarey6483

4 ай бұрын

When did you realize you were hurting him ?

Thank you for this ♥️

Thank you, I really needed this. Sending my gratitude 💜

Thank you so much❤️ I needed this advice.

Thank you for this video... THANK YOU.. I am currently watching this everyday to remind myself that my partner pushing me away isn't about me.. ill love him no matter what and it does really hurt a lot of the time but I'll be there to support him and show him that I won't allow his illness to push me away.. he has moments of clarity where he says how much he loves me and I hold on to those moments.. Thank you, Rachel.. Thank you Rachael...

You helped me to understand so much! Thank you!

Just brilliant 🙏🏻

Most excellent advice. Thank goodness.

This advice is soooo real, I also experience everything you said. I appreciate the advice I needed that. Thanks........

You changed my thought on how loving some one is for yourself. I wish I knew this so much sooner thank you.

Thank you Rachael for this I really understood what was happening and you have just made me realise what was going on and made me wanting to stay by her side no matter what

Thankyou❤ You dunno what I'm going through This is really helpful❤ I really needed this❤

Thank you for this video. I've been sabotaging my personal relationships my whole life.

This video was soooo helpful thank you so very much! ❤❤❤❤

You explained how I feel so well. Thank you, I will show my wife this video. Thank you

Thank you, this was very on point and useful advice!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad it was helpful!

I was in a weird situation. The person I love was going through an extreme state of depression/anxiety and I felt them pulling away. He was crying and told me he is in love with me but it’s best that we take a break… he said he’s coming back for me because I’m the one girl in his life that he loves… so I honored that. We hadn’t spoken for 10 months because HE said when his mind is better he will return to me. In the meantime I continued moving forward but everyday but a gosh damn struggle because I missed him so much😞 he just never saw that…. Because we were out of contact. All he saw was me being “happy”. Well at the 10 month mark I had to reach out. I missed him so much… the last time we had spoke, he was a ball of vulnerability- so tender and warm. He NEVER expressed this side to himself. 10 months later and when I reached out he was cold as ice. Even though he left the ball in his court to come back to me, I feel like he was hurt that I didn’t reach out. The night we last talked 10 months prior, he said everyone in his life abandoned him. so he probably sees it that I abandoned him too even tho I was just trying to respect his space. So I ended up telling him that my feelings haven’t changed and I still care so deeply about him. I told him that I didn’t reach out because I was honoring his space. I told him I missed him so much every single day, but I said that I respect if he’s moved on or met someone else….. he hasn’t responded to me and it’s been a day. I don’t know what to do because I feel hurt and forgotten too..::😞

@dominique7269

Жыл бұрын

Any update? What did he say?

@kristiyankrasimirov6490

Жыл бұрын

I am the same person you are describing above. I dont believe i will ever change.

@lakecharhodes6231

2 күн бұрын

Amanda, Im sorry you’re going through such sadness, I too am going through a similar situation with the man I love and is waiting in faith that he will soon return to me, I sincerely pray the same for you🙏🏽🙌🏼💕

...and that was the most important advice video I've watched about this.

I cannot ever thank you enough for this video. You've saved my sanity. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm crying with a smile while I'm typing this comment. I wish you the best as you've saved me. ❤️

You explained it so beautifully and practically . You could make me see the inside of what is going through a person who is going through a low phase which I could never have the perspective of.. Thanks a lot

Thank you. I needed to hear that talk

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

You’re welcome. Thanks for watching!

Thank you so much for this video. I am currently experiencing this with someone who I love and it is terrible hard because he has completely shut down on me and won’t communicate with me. It’s confusing and hurtful because before the shut down things were going good for us. 💔

@JNA946

16 күн бұрын

I am on the same exact boat. She shit down on me. She believes she is not worthy. Told me to move on with my life and be happy. She said she needs to heal on her own and that it has nothing to do with me and she still loves me.

Thank you so much, for this I felt so scared when he said he has thoughts of harming himself. He came in when I was still crying and I told him I was so scared and he agreed to get help and I thanked him so much for it.

i needed this video. my husband has depression and has been pushing me away. i now got some clarity.

Make perfect sense!! 💯 % Great video!!

Holy crap thank you so much, the last part about self love is what I needed to hear!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're so welcome. Thank you for watching and do the self love work!!! It makes all the difference.

Thank you for this! Currently going through this and these tips really help!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad these are helpful! And I'm really sorry that you're going through this. If you'd like some more resources you can find some here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom I'd also be happy to share some videos from a course I previously offered on this topic. If you'd like them drop me an email at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com

This is life changing for me, my husband with PTSD just left our family and is saying I can't support him and we need to divorce seemingly out of nowhere. Just wow, helps me go on and bare this for now.

Thank you for this video.

@rukayamuhammed8147

3 жыл бұрын

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Some very insightful content and most of it is spot on

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Hi Alex, thanks for watching and commenting. I appreciate it very much.

Wow. Mind opening. Thank you for making me understand my life better.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad you found the video helpful. Thank you for watching.

Omg thank you for this !! You're so authentic and I can tell that you have lived out everything you are telling us! You really just helped me realize so much and I am so appreciative that you put this content out!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome, thank you for watching! I'm glad this video was helpful.

I appreciate the time you took to make this video, it was very useful and helped me understand this situation more. Thank you.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for watching.

I'm currently experiencing it right now. This helps a lot. Thank you so much.

My Girlfriend and close friend of 10+ years is struggling so bad with her mental state as of late. I know she loves me but I also know this is really hard for her and I’ve been struggling to try to understand and not feel hurt by everything she does. Watching this has me in tears putting me into perspective. Words can’t express how thankful I am ❤️

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm very glad to hear this video was helpful for you, and I'm very sorry that you're going through such a painful time. I know it can be really lonely and isolating to be in your position, and I hope it helps to know that you aren't alone. This page has a set of resources that you might find helpful, and also some information on a group program that's starting up in February for people who love a depressed partner. Having support around you (and people who get what you're going through) can make a big difference. If you check out the resources, I'd strongly recommend trying out the exercises listed for a week or ten days. www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

Thank you soo much this helped me a looot🥺

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad! Thanks for watching.

Thank you. I am there. I am sinking into a place of self-loathing because my girlfriend is pushing me away. She says she loves me, but ceases all contact with me often. I feel as if she'll be better off without me. I will follow this great insights. I truly love her and want to remain with her and for her.

Thank you, I really needed this advice.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 ай бұрын

You're welcome, thank you for watching.

Amazing video, it contains so much good advice, I’m so used to helping everybody else and giving advice, that this is so useful for someone to just say these things to me! And i did feel like it was like someone having a direct conversation with me. Thank you so much. Iv already forwarded it to a couple of people who might find this helpful.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Julia! I'm so glad this video was helpful, thank you for sharing it!

I so needed to hear this. Fix myself first, so true and so hard to realize. He haven't been able to meet me fave to face 6 months now

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry you're going through this, but YES. Focus on you, heal you and most of all be KIND to yourself. You can do this.

This was such a helpful video

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Brynn, I'm really glad it helped .

Thank you this is so helpful!!!

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3 жыл бұрын

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3 жыл бұрын

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3 жыл бұрын

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3 жыл бұрын

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Wonderful video my partner suffers from depression I understand completely.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching and commenting. I'm sorry you're partner suffers from depression. Do you have support in your life for yourself?

Thanks for the video.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 ай бұрын

You're welcome. Thank you for watching.

Thank you this helps me with my friend who is depressed and pushed me and blocked me on the phone for trying to help away thank you so much deeply 😊❤️

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Dominic, Thank you for watching. I'm so glad to hear that this video helped, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it can be so painful. Hang in there, and stay connected to yourself! This page has a list of resources that you might find helpful as you navigate this with your friend: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

Thank you for this😔..I’m recently married and been in a 3 year relationship with my husband prior and saw him struggle with depression and feeling overwhelmed. I have come to realise I cannot fix things for him but have loved him unconditionally and supported him and have shown him great compassion. He found out he has a son who is 4 and this really turned his world upside down. We have only been married for 6 months and prior to this everything was perfect. He still struggled but could cope. Now he has left our home and told me he can’t be a husband and I deserve better and he can’t give me what I deserve, but I know where this is coming from.I am trying my best to give him space and tell him I am not giving up on him because he has shown me unconditional love and all that a partner could do, and I accepted him and embraced him knowing from the beginning he could have a potential child. I was welcoming of his child and wanted to do this with him. He is completely shutting me out and this is completely the opposite of who he is or his character and I know he is struggling. Is there any advice you can give me to navigate this 😔

I've watched a lot of psychology and relationship content, and done a lot of self-work/had a lot of personal experience along with a smidgen of formal education, and I can firmly say that this is one of the most well-put and high-value resources I've ever encountered. Wonderful video. Thank you for making this. I got a lot of great takeaways from this, not the least of which was the fact that I've come a lot further than I'd realized in healing my anxious attachment style and am feeling more rooted in security lately than I ever have before. This helps me feel really reassured that I'm well-positioned to handle my developing relationship with a guy who, afaik, hasn't ever sought clinical help or diagnosis but who appears to experience textbook chronic depression. He's younger than I am, and I know I'm prone to codependent fixer-ness, so I recognize a lot of vulnerability in him and have my own overthinky fears about harming him by having weak boundaries or misjudging how to be supportive without robbing him of ownership over his own healing ... but this advice not only helps me get grounded and fine-tune my protocols with clear specific actionable strategies, but also affirms that I've gotten a lot out of my hard work and am in fact relatively well-equipped to engage with him in a way that's good for us both. I'm sure I won't do everything perfectly all the time, but I'm feeling really good about my ability to do well enough. Thank you again. 💚

THANK YOU, RACHAEL. THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME BEGIN MY HEALING. I LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

9 ай бұрын

You're welcome. Thank you for being here!

Really nice, Thank you

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. Thanks for watching.

Thank you so much!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome Barbara! I'm so glad it was helpful.

I love this video and how you explained this. Thank you!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! I'm so glad it was helpful.

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

*Wha ts a pp* him right away for help

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

±19515998468⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works i can't believe i am with my lover back after many years of break-up.,...

You make me weep lady. Thanks for identifying my illness. Most of what you’ve said is what I am going through.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

5 ай бұрын

You're welcome. I'm really sorry you're going through this... it's so hard. But there is hope, and light and even love. It's around us all the time, even when we can't see it through the pain.

Wow the part that reached me was the self love part is the best way to love someone with depression. That was so beautiful n a great reminder.❤ Thank you

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

10 ай бұрын

You're welcome. I'm glad it was helpful!

Oh thank you… found a key. You can still feel love even for people that are gone.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Billy. That one was a big key for me too. Thanks for watching.

Thank you. I needed this

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad it was helpful!

@rukayamuhammed8147

3 жыл бұрын

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Thank you , this helped me a lot 🙏🏼 God bless you

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 ай бұрын

You're welcome! I'm glad it helped.

Thank you Rachael, I’m going through this right now with my significant other. Watching this video really helps me. Self care- don’t take it personal. Ty!!!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! Both self care and don't take it personally can be easier said than done... if you'd like some additional support, this page has some more resources you might enjoy! www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

Thank you Doc...thank you

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

5 ай бұрын

You're welcome, I'm glad the video was helpful. Thank you for watching.

Thanks Rachel, you're a great human being. Know that I'm a husband and I'm the one depressed and watching this cause I fought with my wife. But I am constantly trying my best to work on my issues. So I can live a fulfilling life beside my partner. God bless you both.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the kind words Pandan. I love that you are doing your own inner work and are committed to creating a fulfilling life with your wife. Just so you know... the "two things to know" in this video go both ways. You are not responsible for what your wife thinks or feels, and those thoughts and feelings aren't actually about you (even if she says they are!). I know from talking to my husband that the partner who is depressed can feel terrible if they believe their depression is hurting the person they love the most. Don't take that on yourself. Your wife's thoughts and feelings about your depression and it's effects on your relationship are HERS, not yours. They are her responsibility. This work is so powerful, because it really only takes one partner. If either partner is able to hold space for the other person's experience, without judgement, with compassion and with curiosity, it can transform the relationship. But it isn't possible to hold that space if you are taking responsibility or blaming yourself for the way the other person feels. When we do that, we get caught up in our own experience of guilt, shame, frustration or defensiveness, and we can no longer be a truly empathetic ear for our partner. It is beautiful that you are making the effort to care for yourself and strengthen your marriage. Your wife is lucky to have you. 💛💛

@pandanamin7104

3 жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach wow I don't know where to start thank you Rachael! I truly take that response to heart, and pray it works. I know that it's hard for her too, bearing the weight. But I agree the more I keep beating myself up in agony and guilt the more I start to feel worn down in my self-esteem... Again I'm truly grateful for the personal response back to me. I pray and wish both you and your husband good health and blessings. Ameen/Amen

This is soooo helpful ... And you have a veryyy assurinngg voice . Very comforting

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

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2 жыл бұрын

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@rukayamuhammed8147

3 жыл бұрын

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@rukayamuhammed8147

3 жыл бұрын

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Thanks for this video! A friend of mine, whom I really really love, suffers from depression. She pushes me away for more than a year now and it's really hard sometimes. But at that point, I try to remember those things that she said (what you've also stated in this vid), that there's nothing about me. I hope, she can heal and in the meantime, I will have the courage to be with her. It's hard to be "strong" in these covid days and being fine with myself. It's so exhausting. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts!

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the kind words! You are right, it can be really hard to be there and be with someone through depression and not take it personally. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job 💚💚 If you find you are getting exhausted, that can be a sign that you are staying strong by denying or avoiding some of your own emotions. Pay attention to your body, it is wise! Staying strong and trying to be fine with yourself sometimes means that we forget to honor our own anger, grief or regret. Those emotions need to be allowed and processed so you can truly rest and heal yourself. A good way to do that is to ask yourself what positive thing that emotion wants for you (usually safety or love) and then to intentionally allow it to be present in your body, while honoring the positive intention. There are a lot of good exercises to help with this, one of my favorites is the RAIN technique (a quick google brings it up!). I'd encourage you to make some time in your day to do that or another tool that works for you, so you don't burn yourself out supporting your friend.

@Dorcz

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your answer! I'm about to find out how to take of myself also and set boundaries. I'm doing meditations, I'm doing excersises (running and walking), I'm cutting myself from those who such out my energy (not the depressed one) and the most helpful is that I'm also seeing a therapist. I hope we will manage to overcome this situation. This pandemic situation for a year now is hard to cope with. God bless you for your videos and keep going to post them! :-)

@glx333

2 жыл бұрын

@@Dorcz I have a friend. We know each other since 5/6 years old. After high-school things got worse for her especially with her studys at UNI and and her relationship with ther parents. She started distancing herself to the point we did months to see her. It's been 6/7 years she is like that we are 25yo now. How many years a person can live like that without trying to change?

Thank you so much I love you❤️

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! I'm so glad the videos help. 💚💚

My wife has been pushing starting few years after our marriage. This started to Erod my confidence to the extent I become to believe that I couldn't live without her

Thank you 😢

This was really informative. I'm getting fed up. I think my guy is going through feeling nothing right now. I can't fix it. I'm trying to focus on me without pushing him away myself.

Thank you!

My husband lost his best friend and brother hit while walking by a drunk driver, he had to pull him out from under the car. He is now very bipolar. He has told me the worst things about me. This was so good to hear because i know he loves me but h is hurting so bad. And yes i am a depressed person too so it has been a challenge.

This is happening to me right now. My boyfriend hasn’t talked to me much and we haven’t seen each other at all in a week. He told me a few days ago that he was depressed and wanted to be left alone. As much as it pains me to do so I’m doing my best to not bother him so it doesn’t make things worse for him. I’ve told him I’m here and I love him and I guess that’s all I can do

@rukayamuhammed8147

3 жыл бұрын

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3 жыл бұрын

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@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

This is such a hard place to be in. Something I do with my clients in these situations is help them get really clear on what they can and cannot control. You cannot control his feelings of depression. But that doesn't mean that what you say or do doesn't matter. It does. Humans are hard wired for connection. Sometimes our emotions feel too overwhelming, alien or unbearable to imagine sharing them with others, and we want to be alone. But even then we really do want to be seen, heard and connected. With this in mind, I do believe it is helpful to continue to offer your presence and support, even if he ignores it. It sounds like you have done that, and I would encourage you to continue to let him know you care and are there if he wants company. To do that without putting pressure on him, you have to genuinely be okay with whatever answer he gives you (that's where your own emotional work comes into play!). Often when someone is struggling with depression it is hard to be with other people because they either feel like they are bringing the other person down OR the other person wants to "fix" them. This is why I think it is so valuable to do your own emotional work to get calm, clear and grounded. From that place you can be with him (or offer to be with him) in silence, a gentle, relaxed presence that doesn't take his behavior personally or put any pressure on him to change When we can get to that place, we are able to offer the most profound kind of accepting support that one human can offer another. It sounds like you are doing an incredible job already. Stay with it. Process and acknowledge your own emotions. Getting calm, relaxed and centered yourself is the very best way to support him.

I have no partner anymore because she was depressed. She did exactly this and pushed me away. I let her. You can’t keep someone that doesn’t want to keep you.

Really good advice

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Lucy, I'm so glad you found it helpful!

As you see from the responses, this was a great video. You have a knack for articulating things in a way that opens a lot of doors. Well done.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I appreciate that. Thanks for watching!

Thank you so much for having this video. It's SO hurtful when my husband kept pushing me away and told me it is me. The guilt can be SO overwhelming.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I'm really glad it was helpful. It can be such a struggle not to take words like that personally. When you hear it from your partner on a regular basis it is difficult not to internalize it. How are you doing now? Is there anything that has helped you with the feelings of guilt?

You are so kind and loving. God bless you💖 I burnt myself and depressed after being ignorant of my ex husband depression. Lord have mercy. I pray my ex husband feels better. I sometimes grieve for our divorce in 2015.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

I am so glad you found this helpful Joanna. And I'm really sorry that you went through that with your ex husband. I hope you have some good support for your own grieving process. You might also find these resources helpful in your healing: Resources: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

I needed to hear that. Especially after, forming a connection with someone. Who appears to be dealing with depression. A professional in being inconsistent and going mia. Withdrawing patterns and using their work schedule. As a way of. Shifting their thoughts elsewhere. The list goes on and on. The best thing I did. Was detach from him. I truly love and care for him. However, I love me more.

@ijustneedmyself

2 ай бұрын

Oh gosh, I could've wrote this myself. We're going on two months of talking (neither of us are ready to be in anything serious though I'm open to something in the future) and now he's going through a bout of depression and withdrawing. I just don't think I could handle this as part of my life. I have enough ☹️

Thank you for making this video. I really needed this. My husband has been battling depression for almost a year. And you have validated everything about our relationship for me. I couldn't stop myself from crying because of the realization.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

Жыл бұрын

Hi Athena, I'm so sorry you're going through that, it is so hard. Please check out these resources, they may help further: Resources: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom

Thank you for this video! My boyfriend and I have had a healthy relationship for over 3 years. No arguments, both on the same page of having a future together and great communication. Out of left field he told me he doesn’t feel anything for me and doesn’t know how his feelings just disappeared. He isn’t feeling himself and is so overwhelmed by life and taking care of his parents that he feels unstable and numb. We agreed to keep in contact while I’m in grad school but once I went away he hasn’t responded to my texts or called me back. We both are in therapy separately but it gets harder the longer he doesn’t contact me back. He did tell me he just needs time. I just don’t understand how he wants to spend the rest of my life with me to someone who feels numb/depressed and doesn’t seem to consider me even as a friend. It’s weird how people going through this can suddenly be unrecognizable. I feel like I’m waiting in the unknown of having my heart being broken.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry you're going through this pain right now. You're right that someone you love can suddenly seem like a different person entirely! It is disconcerting and tends to trigger every deep fear, inner doubt or self conscious belief we hold. You might find this page helpful. At the top is a pdf file with resources that you can use to supplement therapy. Further down it also describes a coaching program that I offer which is designed to help you navigate exactly this kind of situation. www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/journey-to-emotional-freedom I hope you find the resources helpful. If you'd like to discuss the coaching program you're welcome to email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com

@lraedr7328

Жыл бұрын

Hello ! I hope you are well. I wanted to know how things went with your boyfriend? My situation is very similar, we were happy together and in a few days he left me... he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel his love feelings like he used to... he's been suffering from apathy in general for 6 months now too... I sincerely hope things are better on your side ❤️

@p5ych

6 ай бұрын

hey, any update?

@hayasaud8224

2 ай бұрын

@@lraedr7328what happened with u now any update

I'm only 3 minutes in and it's already spot on. Both me and my ex deal with severe depression and anxiety. That mixed with the long distance caused her to break up last week.

@giancastillo2958

5 ай бұрын

Going through something similar, update? Did you try to get back together?

@teddystaples3704

5 ай бұрын

@giancastillo2958 we're taking it slow this time and not fully together. She's going through therapy and we plan to get back together. Good luck!

Thank you so much! This brings a new perspective that gives me clarity and comfort. Learning to support my partner with this illness is very new and I’m learning a lot. I appreciate your help 💛

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! I am thrilled that these videos are helping and bringing you comfort. I hope above all that you see that you are not alone. I am here with you. The other viewers are here with you. There are so many of us learning to support their partners and going through the highs and lows alongside you. And there is so much room to learn and grow through the relationship you're in, if you can support yourself and ask for help when and where you need it. It is very normal in our modern society to expect our romantic partners to be "everything" to us. But the truth is that we are social beings, who need a sense of connection and support that comes from interacting with others who are available, responsive and empathetic. Any single human can't be those things all the time. Some days we're too tired, or too stressed, or too hungry! And a human who is depressed usually can't be those things for you when the depression is present. That's why having other people in our lives is so important, in any relationship, and especially when you are supporting a depressed partner. And it's okay if those other people are folks you chat with on KZread like me :) Whenever you notice yourself feeling drained, find a way to connect (online, on the phone, in person or even through mediation, prayer or spiritual connection) and remind yourself that you aren't alone. You've got this. 💚

@whitneycastro1105

Жыл бұрын

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoachthank you so much for this. It was so eye opening. Even as someone who struggles with depression also - the experience is different. Wow. Thank you.

Thanks for making this video. It helps me understand my situation a bit better. Two weeks ago my boyfriend told me he has severe depression and that he’s seeking help with therapy. But he needs to do it alone because he doesn’t know how long it will take him to get better and don’t want to give me false hope. It hurts that I can’t be there for him when he needs me the most and I’ve been trying to understand him better. I don’t know if I should keep trying to reach out or to leave him alone. I’m torn.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

I know how hard this situation is. Do you respect his wishes, or do you reach out and let him know that you're not giving up on him? There is no simple answer. If you reach out he may interpret that as a sign that you care and feel supported, or he may think that you want love and support from him that he can't give and feel overwhelmed or worthless. You can't control his reaction or his feeling because it is based on his thoughts, and his thoughts are being influence by feelings of depression. I would encourage you to take this time and turn inwards. When you don't know what to do, ask yourself what is it that you are hoping to feel? Anytime we want to take an action it's because we want to feel better. Focus there. What do you feel that you don't want to feel? What are you trying to feel? You can't control his reaction, but you can work with your own emotions to find peace. From that place the actions you take will become clearer.

@Healing_Oaks

3 ай бұрын

How did this end up turning out?

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. My husband, just a few days ago, told me he has depression and has for a while and needs space. These insights and reminders are so helpful. Thank you.

@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach

2 жыл бұрын

You are welcome April. I'm glad that the videos are helpful, and I'm so sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through these challenges. I'm sending you love and strength.

@emilyscott7030

2 жыл бұрын

Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken

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2 жыл бұрын

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2 жыл бұрын

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2 жыл бұрын

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