"You and I, viewer, are not..in love" is something you dont expect to hear in a youtube video, perfectly out of context, adding it to my top quotes list

@cupofdirtfordinner

2 ай бұрын

yeah that really struck me when i heard it, it's a great line

going through my first adult break up. no one did anything wrong, one of the parties simply did not have the time anymore for a relationship. Life got in the way. But, at the same time, I think she stopped growing with me. She kind of admitted that after we broke up. She assured me it was nothing I did, and that she never loved me any less day by day, but this was the first long term relationship ive ever been in. I think I only could’ve taught her so much about love and life before she just wanted to go experience it on her own. I’ll never forget her. I hate that we’ll soon become a distant memory for one another, but oh well. I tried with everything I had.

@RichyDaReapaRedux

2 ай бұрын

All things become distant memories at some point. But the time and experience you had together will always have some meaning to both of you. You two might not be together, but you both seem like important parts of each others lives.

@purquos

2 ай бұрын

@@RichyDaReapaReduxthis made my day. thank you

if leadhead is so good then wheres ironhead?

@PhantomHalf

3 ай бұрын

Where is diamondhead while we’re at it.

@UMURANGIGIRL

3 ай бұрын

Wheres copperhead?

@CassieRahilly-zm8yr

3 ай бұрын

@@UMURANGIGIRLthats pretty scary ngl i am not the biggest fan of venomous snakes

@sussybuster

3 ай бұрын

Wheres leatherhead?

@despacitosalad_144

3 ай бұрын

Where’s poloniumhead

Admittedly I don’t have much experience with romantic love, but I think it’s important to know how *lovely* platonic love is. To have people you can be unapologetically vulnerable around who support you and who you can laugh until you cry with (and vice versa!) is to me a truly fulfilling feeling. And please don’t take this as a diss on romantic love but instead advocating for some good old platonic love too. Wonderful vid as always Penelope, and wishing you and your gf a lifetime’s worth of heartwarming memories ❤❤❤

@jellycore1316

3 ай бұрын

I agree, platonic love is sooo so special and important, too ^^

@Mik3l24

2 ай бұрын

For an aromantic person, pretty much all love is platonic... And maybe that's why I thought it's better to become friends first before going for a romantic relationship? But it makes sense, think about it. If you can become friends, develop that so called platonic love, well... you're probably compatible, you've already gone through the second stage of a relationship that she described in the video... so the relationship should be very stable! But now I see, how demiromantic this way of thinking is...

its honestly really nice to see your stuff becoming quite personal and grounded in your experiences. i found your channel through the "transfem field guide" video and seeing the stuff like the house video and shit post one has honestly been really nice. you're a really cool KZreadr, keep it up

@tntblender6802

3 ай бұрын

seven red suns whatr you doing here?

Second Comment, I want to add to this conversation, it's a long one so apologies in advance; I'm a 22 yr old black non-binary pansexual person and I've NEVER been in a romantic or sexual relationship, never had friends growing up since I was raised homeschooled and in poverty, and I'm in this weird mourning(?) state for when I was cis,when things were a lot simpler for me, where i could imagine a simple solution for people to love me, all of my pre conceived safety measures that my gender being cis gave me are all gone, and the only thing thats left is... me... laid bare. here. as I am. I'm in the south and there's no queerness where I'm at and I live a life of isolation for my safety as a queer person and it's destroying my self esteem Who will love this? What person here would want this mess of a person that lives in their moms house and can barely function as an adult? Who would see this body as something to have sex with? Im touch starved and I feel moments of jealousy for those with love, for those who had a first kiss, for those who've held hands with someone. However slowly, I am making changes for the better I made my first friend online and we talk a lot almost everyday, and am currently making a second online friend I've recently discovered my love for rollerblading again and it's made me feel Happy in a way I haven't been in a long time Currently I'm focusing on the things I can change Maybe someone will love me, maybe not, but what I'm not gonna do is let my bitterness turn me into a person I don't want to be getting in they way of my own happiness So what I'm saying is that I'm learning to love myself

@forceawakens4449

3 ай бұрын

I hope you can get away from that community. Those middle of nowhere conservative places like that are scary if you are anything that isnt "normal".

@UmTrovadorSolitario

3 ай бұрын

Keep fighting. May one day you find another place where you can be yourself. Love from Brazil ❤

@Embrio4119

2 ай бұрын

Awee, cute comment!

@BidiAnderson

2 ай бұрын

i guess you're already on the right path, good luck

@p1nstark

2 ай бұрын

Fighting that bitterness you develop is so hard, mine is in the form of pushing people i know near me, further distancing the only people i got, and it feels like crap because you know it;s not the right thing to do but yet it feels like all you want to do sometimes

hun wake up new leadhead video just dropped

@cool_bug_facts

2 ай бұрын

i woke up

@ClareHehe

2 ай бұрын

​@@cool_bug_factsyou woke up

@cool_bug_facts

2 ай бұрын

@@ClareHehe i have!!

@ClareHehe

2 ай бұрын

@@cool_bug_facts yeyy ^^

Literally out here almost crying in the break room with how heartfelt this was. It puts a lot of what I think out there into the world and I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Please keep doing videos like this--the world needs it

Those bracelets are a beautiful gift

@opticalsalt2306

3 ай бұрын

Bob spotted

@VerbDoesStuff

3 ай бұрын

@@opticalsalt2306 Bob

lead KNOWS THE SOURCE and is CONTROLLING its power

@mygills3050

3 ай бұрын

"I have harnessed the harness...!"

@TheMaxFusionGaming

2 ай бұрын

No one controls anything. We are but a humble guide to the flow of love and respect.

"limted life experince" is crazyyyy ur 25% done with ur life and you've already done so much. Dont discount ur experiences as other people can always learn for them.

i don't comment on things basically ever, but i feel i have to on this one: this video has made me feel so incredibly seen somehow. thank you, genuinely

@haylzziez

3 ай бұрын

dg 🫶✨

I love the theme of growth in the video. I believe that love is always something to work on and finding someone to grow with is one of the biggest bonds that you can have with your partner. I've considered even making a video one day about it, but for now your video gave me plenty think about. Great video and thank you for being vulnerable about the topic!

I love your videos. You've progressed so much as a human being and it's lovely to watch. Thank you for keeping it real.

Signed up for a patreon account just to watch this. I love all the more emotional videos you've made recently ❤❤❤

i really needed to hear this penny, thank you so much for this

I wish I find a love just like this someday. Going through fresh breakup right now, and I resonated a lot with what you said about knowing in the back of your head that there’s something off. That you don’t trust there’s an actual future in this relationship. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, but I know im ready for this kind of love. I was ready for the entirety of this relationship, she just wasn’t. And that’s okay.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey through life with us Penelope 💝

I nearly cried in this. Your videos are always so ruminative and make me think about life in different ways. Makes me think about my parents in particular.

idk how you do it but you are the only person who has been able to make me cry with your videos /pos

How does this channel not have (AT LEAST) a million subs?

At least your retrospective. Most people when they get into relationships don't think back on themselves too often.

still catching up on video backlog, but i have to say watching your videos and style develop and overtime has not only been a great emotional journey, but a huge inspiration to make my own art/work. Thank you again for everything Also those bracelets are so cute! already like this essay a lot ^^

This was such a sweet and down-to-earth video. I love how honest you are with yourself and your relationships, it's very inspiring.

Appreciate your thoughts on love. Made my morning a little better. Hope you two navigate this eternally strange world together for a long while.

It's so nice to see when someone understands how to be a real partner. I've been in my relationship for almost 9 years and there are those who have extended relationships but don't understand how to love each other.

Videos like this give me hope that I can be happy when I am older. Thank you Penelope

thats fucked up no one should be allowed to be happier than me

Wonderful, those bracelets are a really nice little thing btw, I am gonna get those ❤

something i've come to realize over the years is that love is the same. it's the one thing i think is actually universal to all of us. i'm aromantic, but i did date people when i was a teenager. i desperately craved unconditional love from Anyone, and anyone who showed affection to me i got a crush on, and would sometimes fall in love with. but i realize looking back that the problem was that we (because i didn't know being aromantic was a thing someone could be) expected the love to be... some type of Quality. whatever that meant. i never fell out of love with anyone, i would just lose that driving, feverish feeling of needing to connect with them once i had. but to them, i guess, it probably felt like i had become cold. but they did fall out of love with me, and i could see that pain in them, and i didn't know what to do about it. the last person i had a romantic relationship with, i ended it for her sake because i could see that whatever it was she needed as a person who does feel romantic love, i couldn't give. at the time i just thought i was broken. there have been people in my live who also craved unconditional love, and i was always there to give it. but then would come bitterness and resentment for not being "Enough" (whatever that was). i have always loved people deeply. i can't imagine what it is i'm missing. but the common thread was, i was missing something. i guess, maybe, i loved them like a friend, and even though they wouldn't be able to pinpoint that exactly and put it into words, they probably felt that and knew. and that wasn't enough. i think what they wanted was singular devotion and maybe to feel more special than "just" a friend. i don't know. i have been living with my best friend for almost 10 years, though, and our relationship is exactly like what you described. you talk about your feelings, and when someone is doing something that bothers you, you communicate. we've worked through countless rough patches. shit that would instantly end a tenuous relationship, we've repaired and worked through. i've never loved anyone like i love my best friend. the only person who comes close is my own mother. i love him like a sibling, like someone i grew up with (and i kind of did since we've known each other since we were 18, and we're now 32), and i can't imagine my life without him in it. he wanted to have children (past tense because health things have happened which now make it very hard), which is something i had Never wanted until i thought about helping raise his. i would be like a third parent. those would be my children as well. and yes, his partners do know about our relationship. he tells them he and i are a package deal before they ever get involved. i've also lived with one of his partners for the same amount of time i've lived with him, since we all moved in together at the same time, and they're also a very dear friend to me who i love. people have always looked at us and said, it doesn't make sense the way you two are. and you're seriously not in a romantic relationship? the answer is no! we never have been! the thought of getting sexual with him is like the thought of getting sexual with one of my blood siblings - it's super offputting and Wrong to me. but, what actually is the difference between what he and i share and what "soul mates" seem to be? i think of him as mine. i think of him when i see those corny stories that are like "i would find you in every universe." because love is the same. at the end of the day, when you brush away the finer intricacies, at the core, it's the same.

love is such a complex emotion that theres an entire series of rpg games about it.

>Valentine's day >Puppy collar she just like me

@kubatbolat07

2 ай бұрын

*he

@DiferArtz

2 ай бұрын

Wassup rose :3

@hawkrose

2 ай бұрын

Oh, hoi :3

I subscribed to this channel for the musings on video games, I stay for the musings on life, lose and love. You are a treasure!

I have a problem with the idea of "getting there." There is no "there", so we don't get "there". We just keep going.

your personal videos are amazing and always make me think about my life and feel like its okay that im messy. thank you

I don't normally comment on this videos (mainly because I don't normally know what to say), but I felt like it called for it. I've been going through some important and rough moments of my life, and lately I've been feeling insecure about myself in certain things, and your videos not only have been a great piece of entertainment (seriously, I don't know how your videos don't get more views; I really liked your videos on MGS, DS and Dishonored btw), but also have been a great way to come to an understanding that these feelings that I'm feeling, the rough days, the things that have been getting on my nerves, will eventually fade away, or get resolved. Whether it be by time or by my own hand, this things will fade away, and become another memory, another one to remember and learn by. Your latest videos, I feel, have made me understand not only myself, but some of the world that little better. I think that your transfemme guide video, although I was not the target audience, has helped me become more empathetic and understanding. And this last video, although I can't put it into words, it was exactly what I needed. I'm someone who struggles with social interaction and awkwardness, and I've been struggling with the thoughts of telling this person about how I felt without feeling like a weirdo, but, after watching this, I think I might give love a chance, if you catch my drift. And after writing this whole paragraph of me gutting and dumping my feelings in this youtube comment that you will probably not even realize that it's even there, I'll just say this. Thank you Penelope, for not only these videos, but for helping me, and I bet more people, make their lives a little better ❤. And also, thank you for making me play Halo! And I hope this wasn't too much, and if it was, I'm really sorry!! ("-_-)

@jackal_9791

3 ай бұрын

That was such a sweet comment, I really appreciate your message that all the bad days will soon be memories to learn by. I need to start thinking like that.

We are fully crying rn ❤️

this was very beautiful. thank you for this, i have tears of joy in my eyes now

This video means so much to me. To get personal for a second, I went through my first breakup last month, and it opened my eyes to the flaws in me that I had never noticed until I started dating. Since then, I’ve started to reflect on how I had neglected and hurt both my ex as well as myself. That there were parts of me, both positive and negative, that I have left suppressed for years due to my childhood trauma. There’s a lot I still need to unpack about myself and to properly grow from (gonna go to therapy soon once I move out of my home state), but the perspective of you and those shared in the comments on the topic of love have helped me tremendously in making sense of it all. Thank you Penelope and everyone else here who’s opened up about this!

this is beautiful

This has given me a good perspective of my own role and shortcomings within my own relationship. Thank you.

Thank you I really needed this right now I broke up with someone recently, and sadly it never felt like it was moving anywhere, i was the same coward who'd never bring up issues i had with her And it felt like she had difficulties bringing issues up unless it was a culmination of my upsetting behaviour Love is weird and difficult I hope we both can grow and find happiness

We at aro corp are thankful for the data you have provided to the "what is love" database

This video is really sweet and heartfelt. I appreciate your openness with us. :)

big ass glasses holy shit i wanna get some like that

Anothrt banger of s video essay, thanks a ton !

Like some comments I'm seeing here I too am going through my first break up, long distance for two years , due to my inability to make her feel worth despite trying my damndest to make sure she was, but eventually it sizzling out. It really hurts when all you've heard is I love you for two years straight to getting barely any response for hours at a time. We've agreed to stay as friends but I'm not even sure if that will work out. The important thing that I am learning is sometimes although it hurts to give them up for some time it is important to take a step back and re-analyze things. Where did I start doing more harm than good? What led to the eventual downfall. Yes there is blame to take amidst all the frustrations and sadness that comes out of it but flying solo again does help you truly realize how much you miss the good times. Thank you Penelope for such an amazing video during a tumultuous time filled with multiple emotions it helps ground me in reality and focus on getting my stride back.

Dang. This really made me think a lot about some past relationships, and about my current one.

ah fuck. ah shit. this is a pretty opportune time in my life for this video to get uploaded. thank u for this 💗

Thank you, Leadhead.

I had forgotten how good of a writer you are

Going through rough times right now, this video is great. All love to LeadHead

I've had a relationship before similar to the ones you describe where I constantly felt like they were the one that needed to work on themself and while I recognized that I needed to work on myself too, I never put much work into it and couldn't tell you many specifics about it. Our communication was horrible. This video spoke to me a bit because of it. Honestly the ex I'm thinking of was really fucked up, but so was I and I think about it a lot in the pretty long period of singleness I've had since being with them.

Just two minutes in and all of the anecdotes about love are hitting so close to home. It's giving me chills 😊

To be honest, I started watching your videos for gaming stuff and now I'm staying for the non-gaming stuff in the end, keep making videos you love, they're the best ones.

thats. really specific to my life rn but thank you so much im not bawling my eyes out rn (im lying)

This was really touching. I'm somewhere on the Ace/Aro spectrum and so strong love is a really hard thing for me to feel and its so rare and even rarer reciprocated. It sucks how little I get those emotions, Ive honestly felt like its a type of dysphoria but for my sexuality. I see the romantic love my friends have for their partners and I want that so bad. I'm really glad you made this. Its important I think about and give time to thoughts on love even if Im not in a relationship and have basically no experience with the.

Havent even watched the video yet and ive gotta say, I discovered your channel YEARS ago with gaming videos and I remember when you first posted your coming out video. I actually stopped watching around that time for no real reason, sometimes things just come and go in waves, but the ABSOLUTE PROGRESS of your voice training makes me wish I kept up with it!

The beginning is extremely relevant and relatable to me

the heavy metals in that nogin of yours really cooked with this one Eli

its interesting hearing other perceptions of how to approach love while I’ve never consciously thought about confidence and ego in the beginning stages, hearing another perspective gives light to the different implications of how a relationship even develops ive always seen love like a plant, but not like a plant that you take care of-its when you and your partner are the plant together, growing and changing and having seasons of difference, and to me that early interpretation of the confidence this video discusses was more of the almost perverse notion that I could be the sun and the plant, that i was this great opportunity I think learning to reflect on our perceptions of love, good and bad, helps us find a way to truly be our own suns rather than be stuck in the idealistic mindset of growth and connection

Thanks for sharing😊

Cries in aromantic

All I’ve ever wanted was someone to grow with. This world is so big that there’s so much new things to see and learn, to be able unravel it with someone must be truly special.

In a situation with a friend I have a lot of chemistry with. Roantically tripping and.. it really feels like a long term connection, already like a inmate friendship. She likes me, some romantic interest, but is emotionally unavailable. texting with her is suffering. I really hope I can be like your partner was for you and we grow together. Either way life is good 😄

I always comment the most prevalent thought(s) a video awakens in me, but this time I only have one simple thing to say. I'm happy for you!

This is fucking immaculate great job

Good video, I'd say you covered this topic amazingly. Your content gets better every upload. *edit, made a small gramatical error that I somehow missed..

Much love for leadhead ❤

Honestly im scared that if i ever get into a relationship i would end up hurting someone. This was always a thing but after multiple failed attempt at getting into a relationship im too scared that due to my physical inability at communicating, people i care about would get hurt by me.

god I'm so fucking happy for you. This was such a beautiful watch, as someone that really adores the sort of "mundane" side of love and romantic relationships, hearing about your experiences felt effervescing , revitalizing

@crangejo

2 ай бұрын

Omg the cornucopia moment was so real

Hey. I haven't watched your channel in ages but I wanted to say that you're voice is so fem now and it's so cool. Nice to see that you're still posting :)

@crangejo

2 ай бұрын

If I may, I really recommend you catch up on some, they're most definitely beyond worth it

Awesome video!!

My longest love is slipping through my fingers right now. It's hard, and scary, and I could have been better. I don't think it would have changed things, though. I'm trying my best to be good to them, treat them well while I still have time. Maybe I'll leave them enough good memories that they smile thinking about me, ten years from now.

What can I say other than I find this fascinating. There's such a chasm between your life's experiences, or at least the ones you share in these essays, and mine that it can sometimes feel as if we don't inhabit the same plane of existence. I initially chuckled at the prospect of a 25 year old person having vast experience in love, but according to your own recollection you do indeed have it. You somehow have a better grasp on what the heck love is than I'll probably ever do despite being almost a whole decade younger than me, which for some reason I find kinda hilarious rather than discouraging. BTW I'd hate to be in the position of any of your exes while watching this, you basically threw them under a bus without remorse.

Ya know it's kinda funny to hear other perspectives on the subject of love and relationships because on one hand i've physically witnessed,read books and even watched entire movies about the stuff yet at the same time coming from someone that was never quite the social butterfly I'm just sitting there like heh thats neat but that sure ain't for me as i casually reside by myself

Some artist went fuckin hard on that thumbnail.

@lemonlordminecraft

3 ай бұрын

I believe I saw that artwork in a previous Leadhead video. I have a vague memory of them saying they made it or commissioned it as a reference to the first time she hooked up with her current partner.

I like the choice to use MC music for this. It probably took a little bravery to just commit to sounds that are so strongly associated with... anything in particular honestly and it being MINECRAFT lessens that not at all. But I'm glad you did! It works for this video. It's a small aspect of what makes it work, and probably not even the one you had to think hardest about? but still.

@forceawakens4449

3 ай бұрын

Lena Raines caves and cliffs soundtrack is beautiful, and i think realy fits heartfelt moments like this.

baby dont hurt me dont hurt me dont hurt me no more

Woo new lead head video

Beautiful

Nobody will ever break my walls, my castle is impenetrable 💪

for me, i'd prefer a little more dynamic editing and a much closer camera. it feels really weird and impersonal to be watching a video from this "far" away and have most of the space be dead air. Sorry for the critique, feel free to delete this comment. all that said, enjoyed the video and i think the content is awesome!

I am 1 minute into the video and I am LIVID that you didnt put a link or any reference to the bracelet in the description because now I want to give a gift like that too 😭😭😭

Hope you're right about all the good things for you, LH.

watching this a lil bit after the first big breakup of your life when you're just starting to feel ready to date again hits DIFFERENT. all of this is stuff I needed to hear

Thank you for this video. Your voice, your words and your message are all beautiful

Oh yeah, this is an all-timer.

thanks leadhead you made me have a full on breakdown

It was a really sweet video

I had exactly one relationship which ended with a mutual agreement that it wasn't going to work out - I don't have any significant regrets reg. how it went, but I am very said because the deep friendship we had before just... didn't persist after breaking up. I've since realised that I'm aro and probably ace, though I kind of wish I knew earlier tbh, maybe that friendship might still exist today otherwise. I do really love seeing other people happy and in love though, I think it's heartwarming / adorable / what have you in all the right ways, especially if its any of my friends who are in good relationships

how is your voice so good wth

Best of luck to you and that tender heart of yours, friend. You're going to need it. 🖤

Damn this dude trooned the f out haha remember when this channel was about video games

@gr-8166

5 күн бұрын

It’s not trooon it’s not troon

Love the vid

I'm aromatic and never really understood the importance of love. So thank you for giving me insight on what's it's like

We are raising the crime rate due to led poisoning with this one

Thank you so much. Your thoughts really spoke to me as I've recently quit a relationship with my last girlfriend. This video was really comforting

The bracelets sound so cute!

We'd be friends i think. Youre alright leadhead