It just sucks because a lot of these parents' intent is to protect the child, but in reality keeping them inside on the internet very often ends up with them seeing and doing way more degenerate things than they ever would have if they just went outside and saw and did normal things. Our generation just got unlucky because we were the first to really grow up with experiencing the chronically online life with overprotective parents. But now we know the effects of loneliness in the modern era, and I believe many (definitely not all) Gen Z parents will be better than Gen X parents as a result.

@jarecl

Жыл бұрын

@Aiman Maraidi Gen Z parents are so young that we have no idea how their kids are really going to turn out yet. It's too early to judge. In 10 years we'll have a clearer picture.

@viviennekomatsu

Жыл бұрын

@Aiman Maraidi I think most of Gen Z hasn’t even had children yet, I’m 22 & plan to raise my kids better than my Boomer/Gen x parents so they don’t grow up with the bad effects us in gen Z did

@hedjoehog

Жыл бұрын

common jarecl W let's go man 🤝

@ygmjphpoaifbmidhkmg

Жыл бұрын

fax

@rel7254

Жыл бұрын

It’s definitely the kids fault just do better

that n-words and inwards flip was amazing. I honestly think Gerby is the white Nas on the come up

@JojoThoughts

Жыл бұрын

Literally wasn’t that fire😂😂

@WaterGlo

Жыл бұрын

@@JojoThoughts the legends say that the appearance of the first hater marks the beginning of every great rapper career - Ben Dover, on the 20th of April 1969

@alexander_hannay9846

Жыл бұрын

@@WaterGlo bro quoted 💀

@sharpie12354

Жыл бұрын

Inward heelflip?

@ryanlikestoontown

Жыл бұрын

@@JojoThoughts shut up inwards

Helicopter parents ruin the social life of their kids even when they become adults. Imagine being told to come home as soon as school is over, given close to zero chance for socialisation outside school hours and not given any means of communication with your peers. You inevitably become ostracised to a certain degree. You never become part of a single friendship group since you don't socialise with them outside of school so you're always just an acquaintance to everyone. You're that guy who's friends with everyone and no one at the same time. By the time I move out the house I'll be an adult who's missed out and has zero friends, just a shit tonne of acquaintances.

@nineinchthread

Жыл бұрын

How you deal with your lonely ness and hardly having friends

@notsorry4735

Жыл бұрын

@@nineinchthread life could be a lot worse. People like me and want to be my friend, I just could never hang out because of my parents. Right now my copes are meaningful distractions like the gym, studying and work. I barely have time to watch TV anymore which means I also don't have any time to dwell on how sad my life is.

@iiCounted-op5jx

11 ай бұрын

that's not so bad tbh, at least u have acquittances

@notsorry4735

11 ай бұрын

@@iiCounted-op5jx Yh I am likeable but I missed out on forming childhood friendship groups. I'll probably always been that guy people like and know but I might never truly be part of the group since I wasn't there for the early shared life experiences. Funnily enough people just assume I have a friendship group of my own because it'd seem so ridiculous to them that the popular class clown type is a loner.

@bandolierboy1908

9 ай бұрын

@@iiCounted-op5jxit's about quality, not quantity

I’m an older brother. I’m 20. My brother is 8 years younger. I’m guiding him to a path better than mine giving him all the knowledge I wish I had sooner. He’s my #1 homie even though he is 8 years younger. I teach him humility, respect, human nature, and everything similar. Having a brother, younger brother further gives my life purpose. I love him to death.

@Jdb63

Жыл бұрын

Love to hear that man, leading the next generation to a better future

@derrick2251

Жыл бұрын

@@Jdb63 thanks man!

@yeatdagoat173

Жыл бұрын

W mans

@derrick2251

Жыл бұрын

@Cringe I hear you bro. Sounds like you have some really poor family members. They’re supposed to support you, encourage you, and help you no matter what. Had I been in your situation I’d be thinking the same. I hope you’re able to overcome the familial struggles and come out ahead. Try to make some really good friends. Maybe like a childhood friend and call them family? Easier said than done I k ow and making really good friends is often done during childhood anyways. It’s really unfortunate that your own family is not right in the head. I’m sorry.

@mmohssin319

Жыл бұрын

@Cringe As Khalil Gibrain said, take the harsh people as teachers, of what you shouldn't be. And be grateful of what you have. I still think that family is being torn apart nowadays, and being it the main source of stability for human beings, dark times await. Maybe you could create other dynamics with them, or look inside you, why mere words, irritate you so much, they(your family) can teach you about yourself. Because if they weaponize some words against you, it's a matter of time that your new elected community exploits the same methods, knowing the emotional damage that provoke. Be patient and adapt is all I am saying.

I dated a girl when I was a teenager who had extremely overprotective parents who homeschooled her and didn't ever allow her out of the house except on Sundays to go to church. She was very depressed and lonely and had a very unhealthy body and everything was just awful. I felt so bad for her. I hope she's gotten out of there today.

@IDFK__

Жыл бұрын

😢

@PlatinumHustle

Жыл бұрын

She probably offed herself by now 😂

@logestt

Жыл бұрын

@@PlatinumHustle :|

@dawsonh9036

Жыл бұрын

how tf did yall date

@wetflop9540

Жыл бұрын

You dated her because you felt bad for her?

I actually socialized a lot as a kid, I just still turned out awkward. One thing I noticed is that a lot of my friends in elementary school would stop playing at recess and just sit down in a group to chill/talk. But that shit was boring for me so I never did it with them. Same thing happened throughout middle school The most I usually socialized with people was while playing something together. Some type of physical sport, or on computer/phone games (I always went to the library after school where everyone would play the same games on the computers).

@exposingtruth600

Жыл бұрын

I was very extroverted as well and had some friends but for some weird reason I always talked about deep topics as a kid and no one ever liked that, for that reason I was always just excluded from conversations. It’s as if I was in the group and everyone would have something cool to talk about but when I would say something people would just stay quiet and continue talking about whatever they spoke about.

@exposingtruth600

Жыл бұрын

@@aimanmaraidi2427 yeah I have a couple of acquaintances that I can talk to about “deep stuff” but even they get bored of it pretty quick, I can talk about it all day because I feel like those topics are important

@Catthepunk

Жыл бұрын

Sammme. I realised that doing physical activities are the easiest way for me to socialise to this day. Kinda sucks tbf.

@lucian5389

Жыл бұрын

I used to be friends with these kids who's mom would randomly just scream their names and if they didn't yell back she would go into a full on panic attack

@exposingtruth600

Жыл бұрын

@@johnathanmyers7043 what was your experience with this ? I’m curious

I think that at this point in life, iv felt genuinely alone for longer then i haven’t.

@MarkMightBeBetter

Жыл бұрын

I'll be your friend man

@storming.

Жыл бұрын

damn

@youlooklikeagoodjoeyoulooklone

Жыл бұрын

It's weird though. I have people around me but I feel like they could care less about my existence. I feel lonely but I'm not alone. I have friends but no one I really can talk to.

@log7029

Жыл бұрын

@@youlooklikeagoodjoeyoulooklone maybe you could try to become closer to those people you do have left? There was a time in life when I did have a few people around, and regardless of my childhood and mental issues it is my fault that they aren’t around anymore. I should’ve cared more, tried harder, and been better. I was far to distant and reserved, I still am. I lost people that I had a chance to be close to because of that. If you still have that chance, I would take it. When you feel mentally alone though, I know it doesn’t matter how many people are around. But maybe developing those relationships will fill a bit of that void.

@badchinchila9799

Жыл бұрын

@@log7029 that is so relatable. We can't under any circunstance stop making effort to be around people who are worth it. Wish you can comeback from it

I have parents that are young helicopter parents, I think trauma contributes to how most of our parents act. Like the fact that most of our grandparents were absent and our parents were latchkey kids told to fend for themselves. My parents have told me stories of just roaming free in their poor neighborhood. They've told me stories about how they've almost been abducted and about sus run-ins with creeps. They then have internalized this and as they have gained financial stability they haven't eased up. Like nothing bad is going to happen in most suburbs.

@suqma

Жыл бұрын

fr you hit the nail on the flat part rn

@viviennekomatsu

Жыл бұрын

The helicopter parenting is definitely counter reaction to the trauma, my parents have said the same thing

@TrentonF505

Жыл бұрын

My mom grew up in the hood where tons of bad shit would happen frequently. She ended up being a helicopter parent. She wouldn’t even let me go into the men’s bathroom because she said someone would cut my dick off.

@ricsouza5011

Жыл бұрын

not just trauma. gen X was the first generation that began the 'lonely adults' trend. loneliness made them be overly zealous and worried about family and children because other than that their lives didnt have much going on besides work.

My mom had me at 19 and she’s very much a helicopter parent. She was the mom parked outside of school 20 minutes before the bell rang. I had 2 minutes to get to the car. I went out with people my age for the first time in college. I never even called someone on the phone until college. Those things weren’t allowed. I still don’t have friends to this day. I never learned how to do it.

@josephbrandenburg4373

11 ай бұрын

it's so weird to me that parents do this. I'm getting close to 30 and I still haven't recovered from how far behind I was socially.

@bee_552

10 ай бұрын

i dont know why parents think its a good idea to strip you of social interaction

@rooost9856

9 ай бұрын

Hope you recover

I'm 19 and I'm still being sheltered. I can't go out past 5 pm and more than once a week at that, can't bring friends over and on top of that my own family doesn't even talk to me unless they're yelling at me for minor inconveniences. Hell,my brother, who's a minor, has more autonomy than I do. I'm so socially stunted to the point I can't even form a full sentence . I'm at university now and I'm struggling with sharing my opinions related to my field of study to other people there. I also recently developed issues regarding my attention span due to constant anxiety I'm facing in my everyday life. I guess my mental state had affected my body too, I look like 13 year old kid. I wonder if there's still hope for me

@mrwhips3623

Жыл бұрын

No one to blame but yourself. My parents did the same thing (not quite that bad, but still) guess what I did? I stayed out till 5AM! Eventually parents give up. They realize you can handle yourself. Take charge of your own fuc*ing life!!! Don't let someone else live your own damn life. What's the worst they can do? Kick you out? Maybe thats what you need. It certainly would toughen you up lol

@evangelinawhite417

Жыл бұрын

im so sorry youve literally been abused its not ur fault but ur the only person who can fix what they've done now

@yeatdagoat173

Жыл бұрын

@@mrwhips3623 you're spitting. I was in the same scenario as the guy in the story but I chose my fate

@Sam-xu3xq

Жыл бұрын

Don’t listen to them. You are an adult now.

@mmohssin319

Жыл бұрын

Of course, or at least try to realize if they are right. If after analyisis, they seem as clueless as you (which sadly is what tends to happen) then do as you please, with as little damage as possible, for you and them. But you will have to do it by yourself. And please stop the resentment and negative emotions. Or at least don't regurgitate them and use them just to start action.

I had a brother once. Not by blood, but by choice. We both felt like aliens so finding each other was like striking gold. Anyway, long story short he killed himself, I've been lonely ever since. As an anxious and unconfident person who had absent parents (they had traumatic childhoods) I really needed that solid connection. I'm just not enough to be able to do it all by myself.

@red4405

Жыл бұрын

yes you are. Sorry for your loss, focus on yourself people will only ruin you, when you have perfected yourself the people you need will come to you -master oogway or smth

@dawalkn

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for your loss, being lonely ain't easy. I've found that if you have a project to do, something productive ya like doing, it helps keep your mind off shitty things. If you want to build confidence you have to do scary things, build tolerance to difficult situations. You'll make more real friends soon enough. I wish you all the best, Max.

@urbanwinterhound8863

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry man. We all need each other, we all need friends. It'll get better. I'd gladly be your friend and chat with ya if you want.

@maxtheawesome4255

Жыл бұрын

Damn, these are some cute replies.

@lexa9830

Жыл бұрын

Hey dude If you ever need someone to talk to then you can text me on snapchat or something. Talking to someone through the screen is better than talking to no one at all. I genuinely want you to know that I believe in you even though I have no idea who you are lol.

It's wild that in the attempt to protect children from the world outside immediately around us, parents keep their children inside then freely hand the ENTIRE world to them on a screen. Kind of like a Twilight Zone episode or something

@judetucker

Жыл бұрын

TRUE, that or Black Mirror

@iuprising1551

Жыл бұрын

Before I was homeschooled I talked so much I felt free I had a personality but my parents homeschooled me from grade 5 to college and with very early access to the internet isolation was both lonely and my comfort zone, I stopped socialising, my dad died and now my mom wants to throw me out into the world. Parents bruh

@iamjustaman444

Жыл бұрын

@@iuprising1551 hey iuprising. I'm sorry for your loss. Keep your head up tho, amigo. I know what you mean about parents. I don't know your mom but I'd bet she wants the best for you. I felt similarly when my parents kicked me out. They told me they wanted me to go out and experience the world for myself but it kinda felt like I was being abandoned. Even though it's been pretty tough, I'm honestly grateful because it forced me to leave my comfort zone. Best of luck to you. Here's to the future

@iuprising1551

Жыл бұрын

@@iamjustaman444 thanks bro. Same here

@sonicleaves

8 ай бұрын

Probably because a screen is completely different than real life. Seeing something is not the same as experiencing it.

>When your parents pay a mexican to care of you while you're an infant, while they work >when the only time you had a practical chance at being socialized in kindergarten by going over to play basketball with the kids 2 houses over, but your mom drags you home instead and forcibly keeps you away from them >when your mom is trying to set you up as early as elementary >when your mom forces you to be around girls through elementary because she thinks that is how you'll find someone >when you can't open up to her because the one time you did, she took away the battle by complaining to a teacher despite your objection causing your social group and by extension yourself to view you as unmasculine. >when your dad doesn't teach you anything and when he does ask for help he just yells at you or takes the thing out of your hands so you can't even try >when most of your elders belittle you for not knowing something they were taught early on >when church is worse than being alone and your parents force you to go >when your dad asks what do you want to do with your life, and the only thing that comes to mind for 10 years is "kill myself" so you don't say anything >when your mom says maybe she shouldn't have been a mother and "done something with her life" bc you criticized the all female space launch as a pandering stunt

My mom had me when she was 30, I was born 3 months premature because she almost died while pregnant. Her body started swelling up and her organs started shutting down. It was like she was allergic to me. I spent 78 days in the hospital after I was born to stabilize me in the NICU, I had tubes galore. My skin would break out very easily. My mom would take care of me, and she taught me a lot of stuff at a very young age and I've always had a proclivity to learn. But she was overbearing. She got a really rare cancer back in 2015 and had cancer surgery in 2016. In January 2019 my dad estranged himself from my mom, and in 2021, divorced her fully. Back in late 2019 her cancer came back and it started growing a hole. In June she had another cancer surgery and almost died. Also in January of 2020, she had a heart attack and almost died. I'm depressed, lonely, never had a girlfriend or anything, I'm about to be 21 in February. this shit is hard to deal with and it hurts my heart and gives me anxiety just typing this.

@badchinchila9799

Жыл бұрын

Man life is just tough... Just try to be the best son you can be and be as strong of a person as you can. It's easier said than done but I believe in you, don't be afraid to get help mentally or even talking to God. Whatever you do, don't quit you matter

@mightyquinn38

Жыл бұрын

@@badchinchila9799 back in late February 2021 and March 2021, I was in two different mental hospitals. All I can say is was that the negative entity subsumed me, and spit me out and now I have lasting mental health problems. But I'm fighting it. Trying to get this off my back. I got a job back in April and I'm trying to be more social. But I am extremely shy and my past experiences with bullying in school. ugh.

@badchinchila9799

Жыл бұрын

@@mightyquinn38 I understand your pain. You really have to just continue to resist and be the best person you can be. Hope you can work on that mental part with a psychologist or something, trust me makes a huge difference, and he/she acts as a person wich you can talk to and express your feelings and give you the tools to get out of that unhealthy state. Since I'm religious I can also say God really made a noticeable difference for me

@fvjisinferno207

Жыл бұрын

@@mightyquinn38 stay frosty

@mmohssin319

Жыл бұрын

I am really sorry, reading the worse shit that happened to someone in just a paragraph is heart-wrenching, but despite that I think you've already had the tastes of life early. Depression, loneliness, death, panic, anxiety, we all are going to experience those things sooner or later, but your quality as a human being shows off in your patience and adaptabilty, Sorry for the cliche-ass answer, but I don't have one. I hope you harness the courage to use your ailments as an advantadge for your future, and the strength to leave aside the negative emotions in order to resolve your unique reality. (Anxiety really stupidifies me, and so I need to leave it aside to gain clarity, do you feel it aswell?)

my parents were like this but i blame myself for not socializing enough

@andy-bm1kt

Жыл бұрын

free yourself from the misogynist inside your head

@novaking9994

Жыл бұрын

I blame myself as well I can remember times in high school where I was presented golden opportunities and I still shied away from it for some reason.

@bizyinatizzy9259

Жыл бұрын

Could you explain a little more maybe?

@bizyinatizzy9259

Жыл бұрын

That was meant for @user-iq7wh3yf3b

@urmom-mu9qb

Жыл бұрын

Same

the level to which i fuck with this content, is wild mans literally explaining my life before my very eyes, i'm 23 and have had roughly the same experiences

@youlooklikeagoodjoeyoulooklone

Жыл бұрын

I'm 19 and I feel the same way. I don't think our parents were equipped with raising us during the internet boom.

@FiendTheatre

Жыл бұрын

@@youlooklikeagoodjoeyoulooklone blame limp bizkit and the iraq war.

@deepstateglobalgala

Жыл бұрын

​@@FiendTheatre based

@Kokopell-E

Жыл бұрын

brother. 22 here and quite honestly same. i even had the older sister, but mine was 8 years older instead of like 20 years older like Gerber.

He’s really calling me out with this one, my mother made me go homeschooled after 2 years of already being homeschooled because of the pandemic. Words cannot express how many times I have cried for being so isolated. Edit- also Gerby needs to drop the skincare routine he’s glowing 🤭

@MarkMightBeBetter

Жыл бұрын

Im really sorry to hear that man, I hope it gets better for you.

@TheInterwebzMan

Жыл бұрын

Better than public school

@onion256

Жыл бұрын

@@TheInterwebzManit’s really not, they’ve given me so much work and I have no friends. My mother doesn’t even take me places so I’m home every day of the week. I’ve been bullied before, but I’d rather take the amount of that I had and cry over girls calling me fat and threatening to jump me than do this another year.

@onion256

Жыл бұрын

@@MarkMightBeBetterthank u 🫶🤧

@MarkMightBeBetter

Жыл бұрын

@@onion256 Dont mention it, its gets better.

Man this whole channel really feels like talking with my best friend late after the initial excitement of being over at his house and playing video games together wears off, and we start to appreciate the time together by talking about whatever comes to mind. Sometimes personal life things, sometimes philosophy, sometimes nothing, but always something interesting just by virtue of being with a friend. Thanks Gerb for that feeling even on days where I can't be with someone irl

The point about the death of community is also so true. My parents always try to keep that alive and get to know their neighbors but it’s insane how people live in neighborhoods and know nobody. Then again I’d probably do the same thing so I can’t even judge. Everyone is so secularized and think they don’t need each other and honestly we’re all guilty of it especially younger people.

@nateup5827

Жыл бұрын

"dont talk to strangers" was drilled into our brains. and ive had a lot of interatctions with other humans and they suck

@smileyent.3055

Жыл бұрын

This is especially true in western society , this doesn’t happen in community centred societies like African and Asian ones

Just by reading the title I know this is the most significant issue young adults in my generation and socioeconomic group face 3/4 of my school friends still need to ask for permission to go out, need to be driven by mom everywhere, dont know how to do or get things on their own, dont know bus routes, street names, how to get a job or what real responsibility is like, dont know how to talk with strangers and make new relationships so they just sit quietly wherever they go on their phones, Imagine raising a kid to fail intentionally, the moment youre sick or dead that kid-s life is over, because they probably cant even cook for themselves. My cousin for one, I know is 100% capable but still asks his mom to do shit for him because she has trained him to ask someone else to do anything first, before trying himself. These friends of mine, some of them left school and just sit around in their house all day taking online classes and doing nothing the rest of the day except watching marvel movies and shit, playing videogames, losing every previous friendship they had and now just post to their story because they have no new friends and keep losing the old friends they had. My stepdad convinced my mom when i was 13 to let me go to school on my own, and since I have always been comfortable being outside, getting lost isnt a big deal and I feel safe knowing how to think and act out on the streets, I still wonder if I hadn't been allowed to be independent if I'd be like my classmates and be a 22 year old baby that isnt allowed to do anything because they dont know how to do anything.

@thepersonyouknow1714

Жыл бұрын

Add no life and no friends, but eliminate almost all social media that isn't discord and youtube Literally me.

@3xitthissid3

Жыл бұрын

I've been walking to school and home since 9 didn't make me any more independent, mature, or set for adulting bc my mom never truly taught me how to cook among other basic life skills like doing laundry. so yeah my adult life was set u for failure. low confidence bc not much life experience. took time to grow into my skin.

@ullr1438

Жыл бұрын

The first few paragraphs sound exactly like me, I just went into my first semester of university and I feel like I'm learning how to live normally as an Adult instead of getting an Education

Dude honestly… you’re a voice for an entire generation of young men

As a 17 year old teen ager with a 53 year old dad i agree that having old parents will make you sad

@julianm.9089

Жыл бұрын

My father passed away at the age of 55, two weeks after I turned 16. You can not imagine what I would do, just to spend another day with him. I don’t want to sound like a dick, but maybe you should be grateful for still having a father around you. Having a relatively old father isn’t what made me sad, it was losing him.

@iiCounted-op5jx

Жыл бұрын

same

@randomcommenter395

4 ай бұрын

⁠@@julianm.9089I get where you’re coming from, but some parents are abusive. Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. I’m glad you had a good father though.

the anti bullying changed bullying from physical to manipulative/emotional.

Dealing with being psychologically lonely seems easier than trying to feel accepted by people you don't feel connected with.

growing up in a church to a lot of people might seem like a nightmare or dreadful, but looking back, it was great. there was a always a great sense of communinity between the older people and the kids. the kids in the youth group were all my friends and we looked forward to going to church to hangout and see eachother (we all went to different school districts). it was also great for social gatherings because usually if someone was having a party or holiday get together, the whole church was walways invited. i had a few close friends from school, but most of my church friends are still my great friends to this day. i started going to church at 11 and im 23 now

@b4lla108

Жыл бұрын

i was always so jealous of the kids who went to church. when my best friend started taking me to youth group in middle school it actually did wonders for my mental wellbeing

@iiCounted-op5jx

Жыл бұрын

is it too late to get involved in a youth group at 17?

@dollarjunkie

Жыл бұрын

Based

@rickyricardo69

Жыл бұрын

@@iiCounted-op5jx absolutely not

@deepstateglobalgala

Жыл бұрын

​@@iiCounted-op5jx now is the best time what are you talking about! 😂 and most of them will make the entry easy for you, people tend to watch out for newcomers, and best of all, where I am from its free. Just go on your own, if you don't like it just go.

You're defining my little brother perfectly. I currently live with my parents and 8 year old little brother while waiting to find a place and they're in their 40's, work all day and probably see him like a little over an hour each day and the rest of the time he isn't in school he spends on his phone or tablet, from he comes home till he goes to bed and when he's got friends over they play on their tablets together and it's fucking infuriating watching him waste his crucial learning years rotting his brain and fucking his reward system and even more infuriating when I bring it up to my mother and she brushes it off with "everyone else at his school is doing the same thing" It's like they don't see that letting their kids spend every single free hour playing games by themselves is gonna leave their kids socially retarded, isolated and lonely later in life, I know cause I've went through the same thing but I at least had time to learn to socialize before I got my first PC at 11 and my addiction spiraled out of control, my brother has had his tablet since he was 5

@safir9780

Жыл бұрын

my siblings had their tablets and phones since they were born. for me it was at 6

@bigmanrobert3610

Жыл бұрын

yeah thats pretty fucked aye

@b4lla108

Жыл бұрын

i work with kids and see this so much. however, i do have hope that most gen z parents won't raise their kids like that. i know i won't

@ullr1438

Жыл бұрын

It really worries me seeing my little cousin spend most of his waking hours on his tablet or a phone, I started when I was a 10/11and it ended up setting the course for my life but it's disturbing to see it start that young

@ausden9525

Жыл бұрын

@@briandworaczyk9999 yes the tantrums are also what bothers me, he’ll throw them almost every night usually because he has to turn off his phone and go to bed, I try to rationalise with my mother and tell her to take his phone away for good until he’s mature enough to have it but then it always ends in trying to scold me for questioning her way of parenting

bro i literally grew up the same exact way, wtf

I was lucky enough to have a moderate amount of freedom growing up. My friend group was split about 50/50 between kids with freedom and kids without and, man... the difference between those two categories is astonishing. Most of us who had freedom did badly in school and got into trouble, but are now thriving as adults. For the ones with overprotective parents, it's the complete opposite. They did well in school, but they either struggle with adulthood/independence now or just "failed to launch" entirely.

@bradybronson4287

11 ай бұрын

This was me. I was basically perfect till I was like 19 then just got burnt out and honestly being a failure and not caring about anything feels better.

Words cannot describe how much this resonates with me. I was raised as an only child with a single father (in his 50s-60s), where the only extended family I ever knew was an emotionally unavailable grandfather, and an incredibly mentally ill aunt. My father who grew up in a poor community pretty much wouldn't allow me to go off our property on my own until I was 15, and months after I turned 15, covid hit. My whole youth was defined by the screen, outside of school it was my closest touch with any of the outside world, and so many of my values have been derived from shit I've learned on the internet. Being the age I am now it's finally starting to hit me why I had so much trouble connecting with others my age if they weren't shut in like me. The way I talked and my mannerisms when I was growing up were so alien to everybody else and I never really got why. It's left me as a now 18 year old who's never been on a date in his life, and who's closest non-familial relationships are only experienced over the computer. Thank you so much for this one Gerby, it's helped me validate so much of what I've thought about this past month.

@electricfishfan7159

9 ай бұрын

It shifts your whole mind, doesn’t it? I can’t fathom that this was done to me, and to nearly every kid around me I’ve ever socialized with.

The word play on N words and inwards was unironically fire

Oh, man! I can relate. I'm an only child with parents 42 and 37 years older than I. I was raised pre-internet, very rural, no neighbors except paternal grandparents, and my dad was an only child too. I didn't associate with other kids until I started school. Even then, they were such babies that I couldn't relate. Looking back, my few best friends all through school tended to be only children (some de-facto, like you) with older parents. I can't complain, though. For one thing, I'm highly independent, treasure my solitude, and have no concept of "loneliness."

@MikeV8652

Жыл бұрын

@Aiman Maraidi It means that I don't experience the negative emotion that's generally called loneliness, but I don't doubt that it exists for others. For instance: Eight hours of school or work has always exceeded my limit of how much of other people I could stand. I couldn't wait to get home to peace and quiet.

@lucian5389

Жыл бұрын

@@MikeV8652 I used to think the same way until I graduated high school and I realized I'd wasted valuable time I could have been developing my social skills and self esteem. I'm also not one to feel depressed when I'm alone but I feel like that led me down a path of least resistance where I would just ignore everyone I didn't like at school and do my own thing which allowed me to form a very unique world view, but not one that I think is "good". I think most other atomized kids in this Era would do far better experiencing a "normal" child hood because social capital is essential in the modern world.

@MikeV8652

Жыл бұрын

@@lucian5389 You've obviously thought this through. I don't think my social skills ended up suffering, and I'm certain that my self esteem didn't. After the social hellhole that is high school, I was blessed to attend a large university (something for everybody and plenty of individual autonomy and anonymity), where I earned three degrees. Ever since, I've been a professional who can turn on the people skills as needed and am often considered a leader, but I still put a premium on solitude.

@Wano_9

4 ай бұрын

My dad passed away at 77 when I was 15 which was 3 years ago and my mom is currently 53, even when I turned 18 a week ago she try’s to restrict me to staying at home I have to get into arguments just to go outside for a walk I’m not small or weak or anything if anything people see me as intermediating I’m black 5’11 and 170 with good muscle mass. I can’t even meet people to socialize I am anti social because my parents particularly beacuse of my mom, restricting me to my room and played video games to pass time it got so bad when I started talking to people I stutter because I forgot how to talk 😂

@MikeV8652

4 ай бұрын

@@Wano_9 You need to have a convo with your mom. It should be standing up, so she can see your size. You must realize that she is overprotective because she sees you as all she has left and is afraid of losing you. Tell her that you love her but you're a grown man and she needs to learn that you're not a child anymore and to trust that you can take care of yourself. Tell her that you're not looking for trouble, just wanting to go outside, etc. Remind her that many men your age are away in the military, college, or jobs far from home. Maybe remind her of how independent your dad and perhaps she were at your age. I wish you success.

I grew up with two parents, dad working a high paying job and mum at home, I had 5 siblings and was raised in a middle-class neighbourhood. I still felt isolated and alone my entire life because I was the scapegoat and I had social anxiety that was never addressed. I got unlucky. :( Makes me feel bad knowing that someone like me should be in a better position objectively.

@tobiaslawrence8928

Жыл бұрын

Story of my life😔

@aidey8mph605

Жыл бұрын

Pretty similar to me. Only I was homeschooled my whole life and the only social interaction was through sports. I can’t complain too much. Besides social interaction I wouldn’t change anything about my life. But in sports all the other kids knew each other in school and I was an extremely late bloomer so I was just some weird child to them 😐

@mf4865

Жыл бұрын

@@aidey8mph605 Lucky, my parents wouldn't even let me join a sports club for some reason.

My dad would freak out every time I did anything remotely crazy or spent large amounts of money, especially if it involved travel. This really hurt me in the long run as I'm in my late 30's now and feel I'm trying to make up for lost time.

I agree with everything you said here Gerby, I've been thinking these same things for awhile now. I consider myself very lucky, I've grown up with two brothers, one a year older and one two years younger. We get on very well but my childhood had some rough patches. My father, who committed suicide in 2018 bless his poor soul, had extremely severe bipolar, clinical depression and developed psychosis at one point. Living with him was very hard for me, my siblings and our mother. we had a lot of ups and downs, our father lost his accounting business, in 2010? I think, due to his illness, which really fucked up our lives even more. To top it off me and my brothers had very poor school attendance, due to a multitude of issues at home, which led to us to be hassled permanently by social workers, the education system, and "professionals" in general. I'm 22 now and my life isn't too bad, the best it's been in years for sure. Good video Gerby.

@whatislifebro

Жыл бұрын

you will see your father again

@fjallaxd7355

Жыл бұрын

@@whatislifebro Thank you, sir.

@judetucker

Жыл бұрын

this right here inspires me a lot

@fjallaxd7355

Жыл бұрын

@@judetucker My comment did, you say?

@judetucker

Жыл бұрын

@@fjallaxd7355 hi! and yes, your comment inspires me to see that life can grow into something more/different despite the hurt we’ve dealt with years prior

There comes a point where we think too much about things and disable ourselves. It’s okay to be self aware, but don’t let self awareness put you in fear. Being young is a blessing. As men we have to make so many mistakes in life to become someone worth knowing and having. That journey is better lived alone. Can you imagine how much harder the journey would be if you had someone weighing you down while trying to build? Society will always be fucked, so don’t be apart of society, be you. As men we have the amazing ability to not give two shits about what people think. Don’t become a mind slave. Don’t be afraid to fail or live.

Imagine Gerby’s older sisters finding his content 💀💀💀

@arunmoses2197

Жыл бұрын

He be talkin about clappin Martin Luther's cheeks lol

@matty_daddy

Жыл бұрын

He has sisters?

@sabocharge

11 ай бұрын

@@matty_daddy bruh he literally said it in the vid💀

@matty_daddy

11 ай бұрын

@@sabocharge damn bro is pressed. You better stay silent before I come clap them cheeks little boy toy

@--.--

10 ай бұрын

They're old women, idc

I’m starting to worry for myself because I’m starting to develop a parasocial relationship with this channel. The first and olny time this happened. I’m chronically online and have never developed this type of relationship, even with my favorite creators. But this guy just says so many things i relate to. And he says it how it is. Now, i was allowed to play as a kid, go outside and play with other kids in the streets. But only on the weekends or in summer. Not because my mom was scared of gangs and such, but because she put so much stress on school and extracurricular activities, that i just didn’t have the time or energy to play during other times. That’s not normal. It’s not normal for an 8 yo to have a busier day than i do now at 20. I’m going to rant for a moment. As a kid my day looked like this: wake up at around 7, be at school at 8, be there until about 2, go home and rest a bit, go to private german class, then english, then music school, then sports and then go home, do homework and study and go to sleep. That’s not a normal day for a kid. Especially for an energetic young boy. And recently i noticed a trend. In school, i was forced to be calm, in my private classes too. In music school, i was basically the only boy (not really, but there is 20 of us, and 3 of us are boys, so it felt like it). Sports is the only place i could be a boy, but there was so much toxicity and dick measuring it’s not even funny (not just amongst the kids, but parents too, i would argue it was even worse amongst the parents, shit like what car you drive, how your kid is doing at school, how much money you make, dumb shit like that). Now my parents are sad I’m chronically online. I don’t have many friends. But when i look at it, it makes perfect sense. Take all the free time that kid has, fill it with shit he doesn’t care about, give him a phone with an internet connection at 10 and watch him deteriorate. He isn’t allowed to develop social skills at school because he shouldn’t talk during class, he can’t do it out of school because he doesn’t have time and the only place he can develop it is toxic and shitty. How else is he supposed to turn out. These sound like excuses, but I don’t think they are. My day really looked like that. But recently, I’ve been thinking, and i came to this conclusion. I might have heard it somewhere else, and just forgot, but i came to it myself. Your trauma isn’t your fault. You didn’t have control over it and you shouldn’t bully yourself because something traumatic happened to you. But you are at fault if you let that trauma define you, you are at fault if you don’t work through it. You are at fault if you let those past experiences stop you from bettering yourself and your life. I know this sounds like motivational bullshit, but it’s true. You aren’t at fault for your trauma. And now you have to deal with it alone. That’s very unfair. But letting it define you and stop you is even worse. I’ve been working on myself. I started training again, started doing martial arts, I’m looking for a job again. I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve started reading a bit, and reduced the amount of time i spend on a screen. It’s still bad and there is a lot of work to be done, but it’s better than it was this time a year ago. At least now i read a bit and train some, and at least now i realize the problem, whereas a year ago i was just a victim with no interest to improve, constantly smoking weed and watching youtube. Now I’m sober at least. Sorry for the rant and the motivational cancer at the end, i don’t like talking about this shit in public, but I’ve been feeling kinda proud of myself because i at least started, and haven’t really stopped for about 2 months now. Idk how to end this comment, so I’ll just end it here.

I think the reason so many kids who don’t live in a ghetto area wanna see gangs and hoods is because there parents are so overprotective that they feel the need to live through these wild ass people even tho they are not even happy. I don’t understand my own generation I’m 21 I grew up in a decent area with a not so ideal life but somehow it made me into a better man than most kids who just wanna fuck all the time but I think you are doing a phenomenal job at teaching young kids this generation isn’t normal. Thank you man you are helping me too

It’s so crazy my parents have tons of brothers and sisters and my dad and his brother will tell me about how as kids they would go walking or riding bikes FOR MILES just to go to a friends house when they were kids and it’s like now I’m 18 and I can’t even go to a damn park that’s like 5 blocks away because they think I’ll get shot they don’t let me sleep over at other friends houses which is when you can do the most fun shit when you stay up if I wanna go somewhere with friends they will ask me so many questions and just barely let me go after like 15 minutes of questioning I feel like if they weren’t like that I would have so many more friends than I do now with deeper bonds I would be a more social person (not that I have much issue talking to others my age it’s just hard to relate to people in my everyday life)

@Jdb63

Жыл бұрын

That's rough brother. Any shot of you moving out now that you're 18?

@ryukobestwaifu3319

Жыл бұрын

@@Jdb63 none unless I rent with friends but tbh I don’t wanna rent I want to save up for a bit for a house I have a bit of money saved up but that’s probably gotta be for a car it sound bad and it really sucks but for now I’m fine with just staying here idk anyone whose 18 that’s moved out anyways I still got time

@nineinchthread

Жыл бұрын

​@@ryukobestwaifu3319how that going now

@ryukobestwaifu3319

3 ай бұрын

​@@nineinchthread late as hell in some ways theyve been worse but in other ways theyve improved and overall i feel a lot better now then i did back then. Im still with them ive been really consistent working out lately and the fact we have a whole gym at the house just makes it a lot more worth staying. Ill probably go to college and live in dorms to get a few years away (just a break away untill i graduate) or ill work a trade most likely electrician if anything. thats what my parents want me to do saying its the best paying trade. Overall im better off now than i was back then

I feel like I had the perfect childhood and the older I get, the more grateful I am. I was born in 1996 and my parents had me in their early 30s, I have one sister (also wish I had more siblings) but thankfully grew up with 9 first cousins who are close to me in age and also lived nearby (they’re basically like siblings to me). Also grew up in a neighborhood full of kids and played outside every day. Was homeschooled for elementary school, private/co-op middle school, then public high school, each of these experiences I would describe as positive. I was involved in various hobbies growing up (sports, orchestra) and also went to church every Sunday (which was also an awesome church community and I met even more friends there). Went away to college at 18, studied abroad, graduated, and am now living and working abroad in Europe. I have no issues moving to a new city alone on another continent, I can usually make friends pretty easily, and never really feel lonely. I think the main reasons for my general satisfaction in life is the way I was raised. I am also very aware of the often black-pilling realities that are discussed on this channel, but somehow I’m able to not let it bring me down. Fun fact: people who were homeschooled report a greater satisfaction with life.

@GavriJ

Жыл бұрын

"I think the main reasons for my general satisfaction in life is the way I was raised. I am also very aware of the often black-pilling realities that are discussed on this channel, but somehow I’m able to not let it bring me down." The black pilling realities of socialization and friend groups at a young age that are discussed in this video don't affect you because you had a good upbringing- of course you don't let it bring you down.

@priscillahernandez8193

Жыл бұрын

I relate for the most part; due to life circumstances at 13 I had to close off my social life. It still places me in an advantage to other people my age due to the healthy socialization I had during my childhood and preteens

@iCookCrystalMeth

Жыл бұрын

damm. bro is really livin

I changed home 4 times in childhood and adolescence, no neighbourhood friends and got picked up at school a lot. Life sucks, but I hope sooner rather than later I will get over all of this past thoughts and problems

If I have kids, I'm forcing them to play sports cause when I was in public school, I remember taking a year off from sports and it was the most brutal, lonely shit I've ever experienced. In high school, I basically decided to be a football bench player cause while I'd def get made fun of, I'd at least be fit + strong + have a sense of community. Upgraded my social life 1000%. Without sports, public school ain't it. It's not like movies where you can just go to school and then hang out with your friends after school every day (unless you're lucky).

I grew up as an only child, and thankfully, I managed to socialize and make friend groups growing up, but that all slowly disappeared and dissipated when I got a a lot older. Parents obviously were overprotective of me because I was their only kid. They pushed me and had high expectations of me to work my ass off, because there was no other sibling to rely on. I was sheltered a lot from the world because they didn't want me to get hurt. Went through a lot of awkward phases in life but that's starting to get better. Externally, I was unattractive as hell as a young lad, but I've finally started to glow up after years of constant rejection. Now that I see it, I'm starting to enjoy my own company, and I'm naturally introverted, so not being around people doesn't really phase me. It's a growing process, but loneliness can definitely affect you if you let it consume you

@Dreamweaver_Skunkbag

Жыл бұрын

@montboze yup it seems there's a lot more people who had this experience than i originally thought

@smileyent.3055

Жыл бұрын

So called “ Naturally introverted “ MFs when they’re parents were overprotective :

@smileyent.3055

Жыл бұрын

I think more often than not helicopter parenting does cause introversion in children

@madlad5710

10 ай бұрын

Literally me

One of the biggest takeaways I get from your videos is that children/young people are really suffering/will suffer from the lack of community we experience today. I think you’re absolutely right about that but the cause of this is almost entirely economic. People aren’t having children or having children later because it’s expensive. People aren’t meeting potential partners because of said lack of community. Another reason is that everyone is so busy working and exhausted from work that they don’t have time or energy to meet people so they resort to shallow dating apps. I’m 30 years old with a single child and it’s damn expensive to raise a child in this day and age. If I didn’t already have a child, I’d think twice before having one. All the folks fighting for workers right and unionizing is where we will start to fix a lot of these problems, a lot of the older people fighting for better pay, benefits and vacation time know exactly what it’s like to work all day and be away from their kids, or come home to an empty home overworked and exhausted with no energy to chase bitches

Loved the part when he said "It's lonely time" and lonelied all over the place

I feel what the internet has done is remove the density of the world and how we experience it. Being able to see everything makes what you see feel less important. Why focus on one thing when you can access everything. Problem is if you focus on everything you don't have the time to explore the density of things. You get a feel for so many things but you can't dedicate yourself to anything. Density is so important because it's the moment you get to see reality, you get to see what's bellow the surface. Think people, skills, knowledge. Not knowing what's happening on the other side of the world might help me be more active in my world. Think about 20-40 years ago, people were mecanics because their parents were and they worked on a farm so they knew how to plant crops and shit. Imagine that same person but with the internet and video games, he wouldn't take half as much time becoming an expert in farming because he could spend his time doing anything he likes and learning about so many other things. But now he's a shitty farmer who doesn't really know anything about anything because he's missing that density. Man wtf i think this might also be a reason to why everything feels kinda meaningless and shallow, just had to share that thought.

@safir9780

Жыл бұрын

create art. study the humanities.

I was raised by helicopter parents and it end up so well for me but there were many factors that helped me First of all I lived with my grandparents so I had boomer and gen X perspective Second of all when my mom was working there was always someone in the house so I didnt feel alone + my grandparents raised me academically at a very young age (I don't know if that's a good word) so I was ahead of my classmates in elementary school Even tho I was born in 2000 I started playing video games online in middle school, I started using social media at the end of high school so basically I could relate to millennials in that matter (also please note Im from Poland, not USA so there is few years differences due to different salaries) I missed many parties, first cigarette, first fight etc but I didnt feel like I REALLY missed something important in my life Now when I look back at this and my old classmates profiles I feel like my parents saved me Like honestly, not smoking and drinking saved me a lot of money I never had a first kiss because I never had a girlfriend but I don't feel like I missed my teen years. I feel more mature now than I was a few years ago and im so happy that no relationship was created at that time I love my introvert life. I just watch KZread, sometimes instagram reels because after using TikTok I decided that I like instagram content and comment section more + TikTok is more addictive imo The only time I leave my house is college, shops and gym and I don't like going out with my student group because 99% of those meetings ends up in a bar and you can imagine how awkward this looks when im the only one sober 🤣🤣 This year I started learning Korean so I found my new passion, second one beside sociology and my life is very calm but in a good way However I know that there are so many parents, especially these days, who are stopping the growth of their children in many aspects by being so overprotective. Providing safety and taking care of the future of children is great but everything has its healthy limits

@mrwhips3623

Жыл бұрын

Cope

@felling123

Жыл бұрын

@@mrwhips3623 nah, no emotional baggage behind me is awesome

@thealonestargazer

Жыл бұрын

Interesting, i think it depends on what you want, either the life of solitude, or the life of chasing human connection.

@felling123

Жыл бұрын

​@@thealonestargazer I think you might be right. I always had like 1-4 close friends so it's the norm for me. Also I value quality friendship so unless I see similarities with someone Im not gonna try really hard to make that person a close one. Also as my friends through school life lived far from me I spend the free time alone and now I don't need to chase friendship as I also feel great being alone

Community is something I’ve taken for granted for sure. I can remember summers where droves of kids would be outside playing. I was good friends with my neighbours. You could hardly walk down the street without bumping into someone you recognised. But, things changed. So slowly that I didn’t really notice. In high school all of that community slowly ebbed away, even though our school was pretty small. Nowadays, I’m really happy to see someone I know out in public, even if I don’t say anything. You don’t need to be in a big city to feel atomised. Anyway, I think it is important to count your blessings (I have six siblings, hard to be lonely in a house that’s never empty) but it’s sad that we have lost what was historically an integral part of human life.

Felt this vid heavy. Especially the part about how socialization when you’re young affects you so deeply. Grew up moving around every year / two years, moved about 15 times and I’m 20, been to about 10 different schools. Talk about total social annihilation lol. I had some friends but was always an outcast in general and through moving around constantly I’d have to rebuild which is something too heavy for someone that was so young to process. Sometimes I resent it but I guess everything in life happens for a reason. Sorry for the mini life story lol I just related a lot. Your vids make me feel understood!

Gerbert Johnson your videos are truely a gift to us

@MarkMightBeBetter

Жыл бұрын

For real though, Im glad he talks about this shit. Makes me feel a bit more sane.

@howie15

Жыл бұрын

Couldn’t agree more! 100%

I am 42 with a 15 year old and a 2 year old and my 2 year old doesn't even know other children exist. She's only ever interacted with me, my husband, and her older sister. By the time my teen is out on her own, my toddler will be in kindergarten, same situation as you. I had her when I was 40 and we literally never leave the house. I have zero friends and zero extended family. I don't see this changing so I guess she'll grow up in the same environment you did, minus having neighborhood friends. I hope having a loving family will be enough because unfortunately things have changed a lot since my oldest was little and there's really no going back to how it was.

Man there’s so much I could say about this. As a homeschooled only child it was very difficult to develop as my own person. Thankfully I was a lot like you in high school Gerbert and I enjoyed reading and learning about a lot of the topics you cover which is largely why I like your videos because you remind me so much of myself in high school- adult teen years. I’m not even old I’m 24 but the change from then till now is incredible. I have a feeling you were going to go through something similar. The way I got out was getting an out of town job since I was 19. I did that for five years and have been all around the country and at the end of it. I finally feel like my own person for real this time.

very deep video, personally I grew up with my grandma in Staten island and I experienced both of these situations. I had both the time on internet and I spent a lot of time socializing with other kids in the area. I turned out to be a very social kid, but when I was 11 I moved in with my parents for the first time and everything changed. There weren't to many kids outside anymore and it was super sad

Crazy how close this hit to home. Never saw a video before now that covered this topic in so much detail. I’ve been growing up in the internet. Pretty much my entire identity is based on the internet. Everything I try to do ends up getting my parents involved in it. I’ve tried hanging out with people before, but my parents are even as involved as possible with my friends. They’re so invested in my life, I feel like I can’t get away with anything. If I stay after school for an hour, they’ll want to know why. So many of my desires and goals in life have been avoided out of fear that they might find out about them. So, I just live day to day, doing what I need to and staying on the internet for the rest of the time. It’s like there’s constantly a pair of eyes looking over my shoulder. I can even get paranoid that I’m being watched when I’m home alone, wondering if they quietly walked in behind me. I’m actually paranoid. Edit: I almost forgot. You talked about the social hierarchy at schools. During grade school I was pretty low in the hierarchy. During high school, though, I could’ve just been a normal, average kid. But I avoided talking to people, because I didn’t realize that I had another chance. I was literally thinking about how the best case scenario was for people to ignore that I existed. And they did, because I never talked to anyone. I wish I could do it over, and I hope other people know that there’s always another chance.

I grew up as an only child as well. I believe there are pros and cons to it.

@jamzz1385

Жыл бұрын

yoo keith i used to watch all your vids when i was a reseller

Thank you for speaking out to my situation bro. God bless you.

My parents were mad helicoptering. I spent my 20s sitting at home. Fun.

@mjdagoat5440

Жыл бұрын

How do you not move out bruh

@zdlax

Жыл бұрын

@@mjdagoat5440 undocumented+ zero income.

@hey-zel

Жыл бұрын

@@mjdagoat5440 sadly not everyone has enough money to move out, or family members/friends to move in with, etc.

@ivayloivanov3744

Жыл бұрын

At least you played SC1.

@urmom-mu9qb

Жыл бұрын

​@BakonKing Honestly man, I'd rather just go homeless than live with my parents as an adult. I known I'm gonna suffere anyways

Gerby feels like that best friend we all needed to grow with

Bro living the majority of my social life online I can relate to jumping from topic to topic sometimes adding in extra points to the bigger picture. ☠️ keep doing what you’re doing bro it’s easy to see how truly magnificent you will become the longer you work on yourself.

My mom was 50 by the time i turned 18 and never held a stable relationship for more than ten years. Super sheltered as a kid and now its pretty hard to make friends after i moved away from the toxicity but the light is always at the end of the tunnel

@adventurer1913

Жыл бұрын

Best of luck

@denzelcurrysapprentice

Жыл бұрын

@@adventurer1913 appreciate it gang

Gerby you are very correct with everything you've said here. My dad was 51 and my mom was 40 when I was born. The only way I was conceived was through IVF. Luckily I got a brother who was conceived naturally. But I had no neighbourhood community and felt very isolated throughout my student years with only 1 or 2 people I could call friends. My mom was protective but my dad would make sure I got my independence. I was definitely stunted in my social development. My dad would tell me about my older half brother who was 20 when I was born. He had much better time socially. I would always feel very different from my peers which was mostly likely from a combination of my learning disabilities and the way I was raised. The internet raised more than my parents since they were always busy. I'm still very grateful for the family I have but I can't help but think that this isn't natural for human's development.

just wanted to say that i won the NNN challenge ((:

@arcade5765

Жыл бұрын

nice job

@fvjisinferno207

Жыл бұрын

Gg

This video hit me so hard. I grew up with my narcissistic helicopter mom and she wouldn't let me go by anyone's house or even go outside. Now as an adult I have basically 1x friend that barely talks to me and no meaningful connections in my life. Dating apps are a joke and the only thing I have going for me is my business and my degrees (which ain't much tbh). I have so much resentment towards my mother because I wasn't allowed to socialize like everyone else. I feel like I was kneecaped by my mother socially and it pisses me off. Thanks for the video though

@bradybronson4287

11 ай бұрын

I feel the exact same way!

I have my own experience with protective parents. I live in an economically divided area of the UK. My family is broke but we inherited a 2 bedroom retirement home which the 4 of us have lived in our whole lives. Our town has a pretty clear split between the safe and unsafe neighbourhoods and our little home is right on the border. There are no young people in the safe area, it's completely gentrified. My parents never let me go across the street to the other neighbourhood where all the young families live. I understand it wasn't a safe area, but the result of this is that my entire childhood, I was completely alone. The moment I left school each day I had no one, no friends, no nothing. Isolation. Never developing social skills has destroyed my life. However, now I don't want to socialise, ever. Yeah, I'm lonely, but I just want to have one friend. I have a couple friends online but I can't say for certain I have any in real life. My parents are older, they had me in their 40s. I have a brother 5 years older than me but it wasn't until I was a mid teen that he would actually be even vaguely interested in being around me. Both my parents also had jobs and my dad is autistic and never showed any interest in me. I know now days that it's okay, it wasn't his fault

The other part of having older parents is having grandparents who are old (if you were fortunate enough to still have and also experience a meaningful bond with these ancients). For me, growing up with this familial ability to see into the past with stories my grandfather's grandfather told him ( over 150 years) was almost stunting to my socialization because all my school friends were socializing in a wavelength unencumbered by the knowledge of the loooongterm outcomes of decisions. It has been a blessing, but it took me a while to socially mature, i think, because of having to organize and prioritize these thoughts and ideas and what the hell still applies today.

I get that. 40 year old dad when I was born, kinda enabled in being allowed to stay inside. I'm just lucky that I was autistic (not really) enough that I knew by 15 that I needed to push for my own social life's success.

I had a very lonely early childhood, my family was enourmous, I had a lot of cousins, yet none of them wanted to socialize with me. I've had my first ''friends'' at like 10 years old, and they were actually very abusive and bullied me constantly, but I stayed with them anyway because I didn't have anyone else. I only met my first real friend when I was 16 years old.

I’m lonely and in a lot of emotional pain but I have nothing big that’s happened to me and I wasn’t that bad off compared to so many so I don’t feel like I have a valid excuse to be sad or say I’m traumatized so I really feel you

I can relate to this pretty well good insight makes me hopeful thanks gerb

I love your commentary on zoomers, I'm 23 and relate so much, and everyone our age is practically just like you described, is it as depressing to you to look back on your childhood, even on the good times bc those cherished moments feel so distant and out of reach to ever have again?

Gerbert, you have no idea how much I related, to what you said in this video. Unfortunately I was part of both archetypes, but I also did benefit slightly from the pros of both of them. Thank you for making this content, it made my day

Dude do you realize that you having the courage to be genuine and vulnerable is affecting hella people in a positive way by helping us all relate & find that same courage? Doin gawds work bud

My parents were mildly young, but very overprotective ( and as a result, i didnt have any friends growing up ). Also i was very bullied because ( like papa Gerby ) i wasnt very tall or strong during high school and middle school. Another thing that affected me was starting a toxic but serious relationship, without the aproval of my parents, that lasted almost all high school and some of college, and prevented me from having close friends or other connections that wasnt with her. After finishing that relationship, i find myself struggling with talking to women, anxiety, depression, socializing ( even tho im a naturally sociable person ) and college. But im starting therapy, im trying to make connections with people, learning the things that i should have learned by now if it wasnt for that relationship and my parents. Stay strong people, there is always hope.

@samcrackers

Жыл бұрын

Hey i’m in a very similar position to you. Do you think we could talk about the toxic relationship? I’m going through a major break up of one rn :/

With the social hierarchy thing, I feel like the smarter kids, like in ap classes (for high school) has less of that hierarchy thing and it is way easier to make friends because usually the smarter “nerdier” kids are at the bottom of the hierarchy anyway. These are the kids that are going to actually be good and valuable friends (a real friend) rather than the average person who is just stuck in that mindset of putting you down so that they can go up. Even the “nerdier” girls, while they mostly aren’t baddies or anything, will still be more open to talk to you and actually act like normal people around guys. My ap classes are genuinely the most fun classes ever whereas I have to go to my normal classes that are non ap and they are so boring and everybody is stupid and doesn’t talk or do anything. That is also where the hierarchy takes place. It’s just weird to think about because I have to go from talking to the smartest kids in the school to being in a class full of average people. The behavioral differences and social aspects that are different between these types of people are insane. It’s like two entirely different societies.

@gforce97

Жыл бұрын

thats different for every school. in my school and other schools, the honor and AP kids were really full of themselves and they had their own drama going on too. a few of them were popular too and loved craving attention

@turkishman4202

Жыл бұрын

@@gforce97 great point!!

Honestly I feel the people on this channel are my real community. I don’t connect with anyone anymore because there are hardly any people who see the world the way I do. I feel like people are living in a different reality than me. My self awareness has been a blessing and a curse, I enjoy the perspective it gives me and the understanding but it’s just led me to see how much most people lack self awareness critical thinking and a nuanced understanding of things these days.

@juliab.75

Жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way! I hope we can be buds 🙂

@ProtoGen-2K

8 ай бұрын

same :/ i literally was going to do my first drive exam today, my mother had to come with me and even the person who makes you questions about driving told me i could come alone instead with my mother/family.. im 18 and literally not able to do what i fucking want/can.

I've never been much of a people person, and I'm generally horrible with dealing with social situations; and I wonder how much of that goes back to my earliest years. I've always been a super quiet person, my earliest memories of living involve me being all alone in the dark late at night playing video games while my parents were absent. explains why i love video games to the extent that I do. man.

Another reason why i hate the American Suburb, it gives the parents way too much control since the child grows up having to depend on them for everything. They have to be driven everywhere and cant walk to the store and build their own independence. Add the helicopter parent to that and it grows into something horrible.

I really like this young dude. I am slightly older but I can't express how much I relate to everything you say.

I relate to you and the topic my man. Good shit.

I like the Colonel Kurtz setting for this video: keep it up Gerby.

I felt every minute of this, im 27 and grew up with extremely overprotective, strict, older parents, i can count on one hand the amount of times my mom let me play with my friends when i was 5-10 years old, i was never allowed to bring a friend over or hang out at their house. I wasnt socially awkward but i pretty much never had a social life and still dont. I was beaten and belittled for the smallest mistakes. I still struggle to form relationships and dating is out of the picture. Ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for years now after i was physically and emotionally abused. I used to think i had a good childhood but now years later i realized it was a living hell that no child should have to endure. The sad part is my grandather treated my father the same way yet he couldnt stop the cycle of abuse that ended with me. To this day they still deny they did anything wrong and want to control my life in my mid 20's.

My parents were rlly young when they had my older sister and myself. You are so right with that point, Young parents (20-25 years of difference) are in general less overprotrective and give you more freedom bc even if you make a mistake is your Life and there are lessons that you have to learn for yourself!

This was very nice, I like what you're doing bro keep at it!

Hey, Gerbert! As always, thank you for your insights. I started walking with only a candle at night in order to help my circadian rhythm and I really enjoy it, so thanks for that too. I'm an only child, my extended family is really not that close, my parents had me relatively old - my mom at 37 and my father at 36. I also wish I had siblings, despite the fact that I had all the attention and things for myself. It's kinda nice in the beginning, but weights you down in the long run. I try not to be opinionated because I'm not having kids, so I don't think I should be telling anyone what to do regarding these matters, but I do think siblings are very important when it comes to building a healthy nuclear family. Of course, it's not always sunshine and rainbows, as I've seen many siblings turn against each other when inheritance is brought up.

This a cry for help I’m guessing if so aye bro you’re goated… easily one of my top 5 of quality content

gerby u killin it brodie mad love

You're very inspirational and I appreciate you for sharing this stuff. I want to be able to share my experiences like you in the future

I kinda fucked up when I was young because I didn't go out a ton. I mostly just stayed at home, I behaved really well, never went to any parties. Like I would've been a helicopter parent's dream kid. I don't blame my mom, she's great, I just found the internet far more captivating than my friends throughout most of middle school. I think "diagnoses" often do more harm than good. Because I was diagnosed as autistic, I get put in this special class during a quarter of the school day where people teach me social skills, but suddenly I'm this "other" to everyone else, I hang out with the weird (and sometimes actually retarded) kids, and thus I'm associated with them. This environment was sheltered from the reality other kids were living in which leads to you being a softy and totally disconnected from the world other kids are in. Then I would ride my bike home and play video games, do homework, probably goof off on youtube. I moved around a lot in elementary school so while I wasn't "the different kid" there, I never really made childhood friends because I moved around a ton.

I like how you make videos when you get in the feels lol

Your viewpoint on "Older vs Younger Parents" is the literal dynamic of Me and my Best friend (As I also call my brother) I was raised by my Father who was most likely old enough to be my Grandpa. My friend was born while his parents were barely graduating High School. I tend to be that Introspective, Artistic and Logical type. He's a lot more Socially Intelligent and Enthusiastic around doing extroverted things. I'd say you're pretty Spot on.

bro as an older brother , hearing what he said is so sad. I love my brothers

Probably the hardest freestyle to date

One thing I’ve noticed is that there’s an increasing stigma around parents forcing their kids to do certain activities. Growing up with my brother and sister my parents forced us to do all kinds of things from sports we were really good at like soccer and football to things we would embarrass ourselves trying to do like basketball and surfing for me but every one of those experiences were really valuable and helped me socialize and acclimate. I’m seeing more and more parents today giving an exceedingly large amount of power in making decisions on what they participate in and it’s leading to a ton of kids choosing to say no. I would’ve when i was younger. I honestly think i would’ve been severely handicapped socially if i were not forced to do all the things my parents put on me from tutoring elementary school students to read all the way to playing soccer for 10+ years.

@urmom-mu9qb

Жыл бұрын

Holy shit this is actually me. My parents never forced me into doing anything, and it has fucked me up so hard. I have no drive, talent, or passion

Your vids make me feel better bro.

another beautiful video

First bar was fire

I had 4 siblings when I was young, but we ranged in age a good bit and I’m the second youngest child. My oldest brother is about 10 years older than me, and my younger brother barely a year younger than me. I ended up growing up very similar to Gerby, except I was homeschooled and had siblings. My parents were in their 30s when they had me, and spent most of my childhood trying to keep things stable and take care of my oldest siblings who were preparing for and then going to college when I was a preteen. My parents did the best they could, but us three youngest kids spent so much time at home alone and we all basically became terminally online. I’m 22 now and I have no friends, mediocre social skills, and have a hard time making real connections with people because I feel so alien and have very little in common with my peers. I really relate to Gerb talking about his dad’s neighbood vs his community. My dad has all kind of stories about kids he use to hang out with, but I can only think of maybe 3 neighborhood kids I knew and I wasn’t even close friends with any of them.

@micahsnyder7299

Жыл бұрын

I started a new job a couple weeks ago and only have like 1 cowoker I see myself being actual friends with. The rest of them feel totally alien to me and I struggle to manage interacting with them because I’m just so out of touch even when we’re in the same generation.

I'd say I grew up with moderately overprotective parents. They definitely had overprotective tendency but not to the extent of some of my friends. They leg me go places that I wanted to, so long as my grades were fine and they knew where I was going and I had supervision (when I was younger). They were overly protective of what I ate, but thats because I had a lot of allergies when I was younger. Good thing was, that they never did really extreme stuff like track my phone or ground me for being home a but after my curfew. All in all they weren't too bad. They are older parents, so I can definitely see the trend that you are talking about

Your chuckle on "inwards" 🤣🤣 I'd love to know you peersonally

I am so thankful for my family. I have three siblings and my parents stayed together until my dad passed away. My grandparents and cousins on my mom's side live in the same town and we are close. I recently moved back here and even though I'm unemployed and struggling with money, I'm so happy to be close to my family, it's worth so much.