Digital empathy is good, but nothing beats human touch and looking someone in the eye.

I'm not sold on the idea of digital empathy. Every now and then I'll get a text that makes me feel good, but for the most part I don't believe people need that. I believe they need hugs and conversation. Especially hugs. I go to nursing homes and just hug people because I know they need it and because it makes me feel good

@mrwwright

5 жыл бұрын

Awesome... yes a hug is often better... but when that's not available there are options!

@mz8583

5 жыл бұрын

That is beautiful. God bless you

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

Words are the main way in which we communicate with one another. But to form "connections" it takes both time and effort on both parts. It's wonderful to be able to reach out and converse with others and share ideas and thoughts and yes, feelings. Talking on the phone is better than just texts, and meeting in person and sharing your time and your day with one another is the best. No one is ever too busy to not return a call or email. It's a matter of Priorities.

@jeffzeb8329

5 жыл бұрын

Lonliness can lead to suicide

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

@@jeffzeb8329 Yes, it certainly can. When there is a feeling of total desolation or isolation it cripples the human spirit. It's a pervasive loneliness of the soul. Very painful to deal with emotionally and mentally.

loneliness is one of the most horrible thing a person can experience

@oscargonzales6329

4 жыл бұрын

Meaning

I have tried making friends. But they don't stick. They come and go as they please. Only when they require help.

@NoSkillsRequired

6 жыл бұрын

Chayan Roychoudhury hi there mate you have a friend

@girishbpatil

6 жыл бұрын

people are unpredictable bro, we should not make them our source of happiness

@gaisb9418

6 жыл бұрын

Chayan Roychoudhury yes I can relate

@margaretcampbell2681

6 жыл бұрын

Yes I have experienced this problem, it is the disconnection of western society. I get people together in small groups for lunch.

@Trev-Grant

6 жыл бұрын

So true.

Texting doesn't decrease loneliness , In fact it make me lonelier . when you are lonely you want a real connection, a real human contact not a quick helpful message from someone who are always too busy to call you.

@varunmanjunath6204

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah true

@wendyrosen3179

4 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way...

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

4 жыл бұрын

There's no such thing as being too busy to call. It's a matter of Priorities!!!!

@aminahussain6915

3 жыл бұрын

You are sooooo right about that.........

@christineterpens3136

3 жыл бұрын

So beautifully said "we need a real human connection" to take away the loneliness, not just a text message

Being alone is not always a choice. Some of us are isolated out of illness. It's surprising to learn that so many people (friends, lovers, family) flee when someone becomes disabled with a chronic illness. So loneliness compounds already poor health.

@michele5695

5 жыл бұрын

Claire P. I'm dealing with that right now. No relatives, friends care. My ex left me and he caused my disability

@jessekirksey1980

5 жыл бұрын

Claire P. It happen to me

@GS-st9ns

5 жыл бұрын

I feel your pain all of you. It's worse when you have a Tragedy in your family. Most people don't know what to say therefore they say nothing in the form of They turn their backs and run. Emotional cowards. It's time for someone on KZread to address that issue because it is quite sickening. I wish all of you well

@mrwwright

5 жыл бұрын

Truly powerful comment...

@joejoe5673

5 жыл бұрын

So true. Mental illness and substance use may also be cause of loneliness.

I've been suffering from loneliness for year since I was 12yrs old and now I'm 40 and still going through it. I try to make friends but it never last, I often think about suicide just so the pain would stop.

@foxb319

5 жыл бұрын

hang in there pammi i know how you feel there are millions of people in the world who will love you just get out and meet them

@MlSS.S

2 жыл бұрын

Pammi my luv, I know you posted this 2 years ago and I pray to God that you are still in the land of the living. I urge you and encourage you to please, please travel outside of this Continent. I promise you that you will be appreciated and welcomed by people from other cultures who understand that life is not all about capitalism and keeping up with the Kardashians and pretending to always be too busy because of some make-believe "fabulous" life. I am speaking from experience as someone who has suffered from loneliness and isolation while living in America for far too long.

@yeshalloween

2 жыл бұрын

I understand very well

@user-mo9wz2qy5g

7 ай бұрын

I hope you are still with us

I agree with this completely! Struggling with loneliness and the desperation that ensues scaring people away leading to more loneliness and desperation. It's a vicious circle! I just want to connect with someone on a real level. Someone to hug me when my world is getting too much or too heavy for me and tell me everythings gonna be ok. I know it's said that we have to be happy being alone and just with ourselves before we can love anyone else but I just don't think that it's natural for us as human beings to be alone.

@BubbasMeisa

6 жыл бұрын

Nobody knows what to do with this stuff. We would have to change society from the bottom up. Instead we are taught to hate ourselves and love the popular and successful and that is ALL. Crisis hotlines aggravate and raise the suicide level, I'd bet my life on it, that's how terrible they are. Just like our meaningless isolated lives.

@ishtv6577

5 жыл бұрын

I'm mr.lonely Can any one talk to me?

@MatthewFosterMusic

5 жыл бұрын

As a guy, I need exactly the same, Jani! Big hugs when life just gets completely crazy! :/ We all need this, I think...

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

It isn't really that you need someone to tell you that everything is gonna be okay. It's that everybody needs to feel that they are loved and appreciated and that they do not have to face the hard blows of life alone. That somebody cares how they are feeling and doing. That someone wants to spend time with them and enjoy life with them. It's really as simple as that. It is as necessary as food, water, and shelter. It is a basic Human Need.

@royadair1402

5 жыл бұрын

Excellent post 👍😎

Loneliness is a physical pain that hurts all over, you can’t just isolate it to one part of your body.

I have zero friends.I mean this literally. The average amount of words I speak at school a day is probably less than 1. Maybe a "thanks" when someone does something I am grateful for. Nodding being my biggest way of interacting with others. But then I just come home, and I sit here by myself, then the cycle repeats.

@Calvbread

6 жыл бұрын

3.14159265358979 323846264338327 try speaking with ppl, there’s nothing to loose

@nameless7845

5 жыл бұрын

Dude if u keep doin that things u will end up like me here i'm so lonely so painful at work i can't even talk to anybody except work things, i was thinking why i born to this word why let me through this i suffer from this disease , no one want to help me even my family and i sick of this.. u feel ppl will nvr understand u want them to start conv. right u feel that u have no choice end up to become good person who always get bully.. untill now even now when i type this i still lonely this thing is like a curse that turn u to bcm more sick ..please change dont end like me..srry for bad English , Eng. Is not my native language..

@kwesley8094

5 жыл бұрын

@@nameless7845 Me too. 😫😫😫.

@sleepdepp

5 жыл бұрын

@@nameless7845 I understand

@thotpatroller7892

5 жыл бұрын

It's better this way

It makes my day when someone actually really reaches out to me to check on me? Like "hey, how you been?"

@PabloEscobar-yx8up

5 жыл бұрын

Minimum effort can have a maximum effect. Just so long as you feel cared for & appreciated it can lift loneliness if even for a few hours.

@mimshachpowerembassy727

2 жыл бұрын

We can be friends

This sounds like fake empathy. I believe digital connection is helpful, but only if it’s someone you actually have an relationship with.

@annapaulikonis2433

5 жыл бұрын

GoodPoint.

@shubhamchendake1506

5 жыл бұрын

Kim, Lip Addict MUA exactly what iam saying...

@mrwwright

5 жыл бұрын

Fair enough point. It really does work better with folks you have already met but may have lost touch with. That's the most interesting thing I've found... how often people you haven't spoken to in years can become friends again. I think the insight here is not to lose hope that all connection is lost.

@meshisha77

5 жыл бұрын

Agreed- communication is not connection! It can only feed an existing relationship. Picking the phone is not the same as texting. Meeting for coffee is not the same as picking up the phone! How do we get people to make real and not fake efforts.

@jeffzeb8329

5 жыл бұрын

Loneiness could lead to suicide

When you crave connection so much you push others away and isolate yourself more, because you don't feel you deserve connection, because your very craving acts as proof as to why you are worthless.

@alvarezherrera666

4 жыл бұрын

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Loneliness is killing me and I live alone with society anxiety disorder throughout my life. I get nervous meeting people

@sheilahollley7129

4 жыл бұрын

Martell Tha Cool I understand. I am afraid of people.

@MartellThaCool

4 жыл бұрын

@@sheilahollley7129 same here, good lady. It's hard for trusting people

@Nice-ck7rq

2 жыл бұрын

Same here your not alone.

@Karelife

2 жыл бұрын

I’m alone and live alone. So much pain.

@amandam480

2 жыл бұрын

@MartellThaCool sorry to hear that. Have you tried Meetup? There are plenty of groups for people with social anxiety. They offer support and possible friendship

This video coudln't come out at a better time, i've been struggling for so long..

@mrwwright

6 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have someone you could reach out to?

@jojoBlini

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I'm working on it. I decided to go for a job where I would have more time for myself and focus on making valuable relationships. I can really relate to some of the stages you went through after over working. Thanks for this eye opening speech! Although I'm not sure if digitising empathy is going to be good in the long run (as in it might make people get detached from real life empathy), it's going to be a much healthier cure and reduce medication intake. I'm curious to try it out!

@jojoBlini

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for asking!

@bcnicholas123

6 жыл бұрын

I'm in the same place right now

@mrwwright

6 жыл бұрын

Hopefully you can reach out to some folks. They are there for you!

Why should I show empathy to a culture that exiled me? Some of us are "too far gone". I'll pass on being fake. Thanks.

@PabloEscobar-yx8up

5 жыл бұрын

This thought is what I wake upto everyday.

@wendyrosen3179

4 жыл бұрын

That's why I am retiring overseas... I don't like how they exiled me the last 27 years.

We can be lonely at any age, but when u get older aches, pains set in. Stay in and become lonely. It's an epidemic

Its crazy how the most important thing in life that can lead to either life or death is just talking to someone....doesnt cost anything,and it's free..yet people dont do it.

I feel more lonely when i am with people than when i am by myself.

Two years ago, my much loved husband committed suicide. Subsequently, the social isolation nearly killed me. I finally made some big changes in my life, and my health (and joy) increased dramatically. This may be my favorite TedTalk.

@hattienuff1405

5 жыл бұрын

So sorry for the loss of your husband, how are you doing now ? What changes did you make that helped you?

@rosethornil

4 жыл бұрын

Two years after his death, I had a heart attack and died. I was “dead” for more than ten minutes. While I was in heaven, I was told that I needed to go back. I didn’t like that because I was relieved to be in heaven. Nonetheless, you see who won THAT argument. Since then, I’ve sold off all my personal possessions and my house and my shiny new car. I moved to the Midwest and live in a spare bedroom of a family member. The best part is, I now have many dear friends and I am never lonely! Dying saved my life. No kidding.

@popcornmovies9278

2 жыл бұрын

@@rosethornil you've really die , did you see god ?

@gmc8810

2 жыл бұрын

@@popcornmovies9278 I know My moms friend had the same experience. She didn't want to come back. JESUS IS ALIVE !

I just heard another talk about how impersonal emails & text are. Emails and text leave us feeling less important because people do not want to waste the time or take the risk of connecting with us personally. I'm doing everything right for myself and others but still feel like nobody "gets me" or ever wants to. True they all want me to "get them" and feel great after they are able to spill their guts to me and feel understood, but nobody has time or cares to reciprocate. They dump on me and then run when it should be my turn to share. You say "find better friends" and I say I've been searching for years but keep finding the standard humans.

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

Understand completely what you are saying. If you get this post I am curious as to How are you doing Now??

Family being disfuntional is the main reason for loneliness

@maeesparaguira5015

4 жыл бұрын

I somewhat agree

@lulee7375

3 жыл бұрын

My mum and dad's constant let downs and disappointments have made me feel very unlovable and unwanted 😞

@zoriamm5064

Жыл бұрын

Same here it sucks

I think it's sad that we have to digitizing empathy to make people feel cared about.

@TCFan30

4 жыл бұрын

It's pseudo therapy, and just a cash spin!

@MlSS.S

2 жыл бұрын

Digitized empathy is a bullsh** concept. Plain and simple. It goes completely against our nature as human beings

Loneliness is definately an epidemic in our society today. At 61, having been widowed suddenly 10yrs ago, now going through the "empty nest" phase loneliness has often been my constant companion. I realize that it is up to me to change this, no one is going to do it for me. I've joined different Meetup groups which helps to get me out of the house. I also summoned the courage yesterday to go to an alt rock feetival alone after two of my "fake" friends cancelked out on me. Guess what I had a wonderful time, talking with other music lovers in line and on the dance floor, enjoying my favorite bands. Didn't feel lonely at all!

This so true about me omg!! The gaining weight, lack of proper sleep, backpain, depression. It's all happening to me.

Loners are NOT lonely. So your talk does not apply to everybody. I have lived alone for over 30 years, and I love it.

@AnNeachDorcha

5 жыл бұрын

@@JoseSanchez-bp7xz It means they're lonely because they watch this video? I guess I'm a serial killer because I watch those types of videos. Who knew....or maybe it could have been in their suggested videos (as it was for me). That's like saying if you watch a video on antidepressants you must me depressed. Some people are just curious.

@AnNeachDorcha

5 жыл бұрын

@@JoseSanchez-bp7xz Whoa, didn't ask for your life story or passive aggression. You post a comment to OP implying they were lonely, I post a comment about your flawed pov. You really didn't have to reply to me or give me a like so I would see it, especially if it was of no importance. Hope things get better for you.

@JoseSanchez-bp7xz

5 жыл бұрын

AnNeachDorcha Ha hahahahahaha.

@petragodfrey4716

5 жыл бұрын

Wow .. tell me your secret, because its hard to trust out there. ?

@RetractedandRedacted

4 жыл бұрын

he addressed your point in the first 10 seconds of the talk

I've been sharing my life, home and income with my cats for more than ten years. People come and go. Cats come and stay. Dogs, too. They stay. However, when people come, they always expect something. Some kind of help at least. Money, shelter, food, socializing... But the problem is that they always use this against you, for what you are and for what you give or cannot give them. They are judgemental, critical of what you are and are not, or what you can do and you cannot. They never empathize with you as you make them happy and complete. But if you fail to make them happy or to feed their ego for some reason, then things start to work against you. When you are not generous and giving all the time, they suddenly or gradually disappear. They avoid understanding you, avoid seeing you as a person. They do. I know this by experience. I am 51 years old. I know I have defects, imperfections, weaknesses, some sort of not-very-happy-past, and of course childhood. Therefore, I now am trying to stay away from people in order not to experience that feeling of abandonment again. Loneliness may kill you but abandonment will definitely torture you. I prefer to die instantly, maybe alone, instead of being tortured down to your every single nerve cell.

@amg726

Жыл бұрын

Animals are the ones who make life bearable. I've never been able to say that about the people in my life.

@allthingseducation

Жыл бұрын

I am 60 and have two 16 year old cats. I still, however, need people in my life no matter how much they disappoint -- keep trying -- we are not all bad or want something --

Social media and online interaction is what CAUSES these feelings of ambiguity in our relationships. Leaning into it would just exacerbate the problem.

@royadair1402

5 жыл бұрын

Good point

I find that reading books helps a lot as it feels like someone is speaking to me

@hattienuff1405

5 жыл бұрын

Reading is a great way to pass the time, I love books mostly biographies or true stories, also ones about Animals. What do you like to read?

@prettypatties5229

5 жыл бұрын

Oh gosh I’ve started to read loads and I love it. I like true stories and inspiring biographies! Spiritual ones too. Currently reading Sapiens by Yuvul Harari, so interesting.

The slow burn of bullying and bias amongst the communities (social status or popular privileged folks vs. non popular folks). Kids who had bad childhoods tend to fall to depression, being alienated or called odd leaves you with less chances of trustworthy friends sometimes, low chances of an love life you want & or good memories..these kids need to be taught not depend on teachers anymore..train kids to fight BACK as kids so they wont pay for it in the future maaan SMH

Spot on! Spot on! The Surgeon general and the congress ought to be listening to this!

I will never accomplish my dreams. I'll never have the life that I envisioned for myself

@sarahj5488

5 жыл бұрын

You are beautiful. You will accomplish your dreams. Just be positive and have faith, even if you think you will not, if lie to your subconscious mind, you conscious mind will act accordingly.

@geniemeadows5122

5 жыл бұрын

@Get out of my way....why? what did you envision?

@phillipkuhn9181

3 жыл бұрын

Seriously, Love? I do not believe that for a single second. You are obviously too beautiful. You can manipulate men, even other inexperienced women, to your heart's content. What can't you attain with power like that?

@yeshalloween

2 жыл бұрын

@@phillipkuhn9181 🤦🏼‍♀️

You may be living with your family or in marriage and still feel lonely. Friends can be toxic and make you even worst. You would be surprise by the number of people living alone. Everyone has to find ways to manage their loneliness and there is no single standard cure for all. It is up to us to find ways to deal with it.

@bgrwl45

5 жыл бұрын

I completely agree with you kylie. I have a husband, kids a house a nice car but I am still lonely.

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

I truly believe if you have at least One real friend whom you feel close to and you share your life with, then that can make All the Difference in the World! You feel cared about, connected, loved and valued. Boom. (Of course there could be other factors to consider if mental illness or mental disorders are present.)

@jenniperkins4260

4 жыл бұрын

Kylie Chen - so true!!

@jfzr_

Жыл бұрын

@@bgrwl45 sorry to hear that, but if you think there is a chance to open up about your feelings with your husband, maybe you both could working this out together, who knows if he feels the same, like the guy in this video has taught, if you feel lonely, do something about it.

@amg726

Жыл бұрын

@@gloriamaryhaywood2217 That is so true, Gloria. All it really takes is one!!!! I've been looking for that my whole life. Never have found the person who "gets" me. I have friends and family who come to me with problems and like to talk to me because I'm very empathetic, but I've just never found the person to reciprocate that. One is good enough. Maybe one day......

People always let you down. Why bother making friendship?

@arminiusofgermania

5 жыл бұрын

Elias Feleke Look for people who are there for you, and not just for what they want. We are few and far in between, but we do exist. Parasites are just out for themselves, and what others can do for them. Your real friends are the people who have your back, and go out of their way to help and support you. Your health and welfare is forefront on their minds, and not "what's in it for me?"

@808bboarder

5 жыл бұрын

Elias Feleke I feel the same. Can’t rely on friends or family. I walk through this life on my own to feet and provide with my own 2 hands

@fotinihill863

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Elias,

@patriciakirk5565

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

@nicolewalden4754

5 жыл бұрын

@@arminiusofgermania And what if u don't have anyone, no family, no support and definitely no friends. It seems that i must only attract the "friends", who end up using me and just take my kindness for granted. I don't know why i can't find the "true" Friend, oh i try, trust me on that. Unfortunately they all turn out to be the same. And ppl wonder why i have trust issues. I'm tired of getting hurt. I have found myself in isolation. I don't have anyone calling to check on me, i am so alone. Loneliness was a friend, but i am not sure about that either. My disabilities and my health r getting worse. I've tried to reach out many of times but i don't see anything happening, in the way of anyone actually heard me asking for help. They choose to turn the other way. They don't want to get caught up in my problems. I see it in there eyes, by the tone of their voice, body language. I've learnt a lot of these signs. I have learnt a lot over so many years, just from observation, from my own personal experiences throughout my life. I can't force anyone to do anything. I just wish that someone, who actually understands what i am going through. It's a two way street, not one. I can't be the one doing it all, if i could, i wouldn't be asking in the first place. Something has to give. I hate living life like this. I don't know how much more i can take.

*Social media is the cause of this epidemic of loneliness. Talking to someone digitally is not the same as face to face! There is no emotion, and no physical contact! People need physical contact!*

Easy to say “put down your phone and go out and meet people”, but the problem is that those other people are all in their phones. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am an introvert and a male!!! I am destined to be lonely forever! I want to help people suffering loneliness! :-)

@annavictoria12345678

5 жыл бұрын

Shubhamjeet Kumar help me haha

@stephaniedegange2737

5 жыл бұрын

how kind of you....

Transportation (cars, planes, etc.) have not 'brought us together'; it has pulled us apart. Everyone is always running here, there, flying somewhere, etc. Like that song..."So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?"

Does any one rememer the 80's series little house on the prairie"? The ideal family life....no one felt lonely those days.

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

Yup, Little House on the Prairie , The Waltons, I Love Lucy, ect. I think the draw of these type shows is the family and friends connection that was emphasized. They gave us a sense of safety, sanity, and of feeling connected to these tv families!😉

@wendyrosen3179

4 жыл бұрын

Ah, the America that used to be. It doesn't exist any more.

@bekinditcostsnothing1684

3 жыл бұрын

My grandparents are also an example.This is bogus and a lie someone is feeding us

@Nice-ck7rq

2 жыл бұрын

I don't know if tour referring to the 80s or the timeliness the show was based in but either way people were still lonely in those days.

Loneliness isn't a choice for me, being disabled, no friends, health issues and anxiety disorder and depression through my life. It's probably the worse way for me to die. It's like a prison. It's hard for me to meet people in real life. Sometimes, I do want to die at age 29 on the real. I'm tired of being in pain and struggling 😔😞

@amandam480

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Martell are there support groups you can go to? That are online? I hope you are feeling at least a bit better. I hope yiu can least find online support

Digitized empathy? Monetized empathy? How about robotic empathy? I feel like I just watched an Infomercial.

@mrwwright

5 жыл бұрын

Bummer.... sorry that's how it came off

@jonnyfrench19

5 жыл бұрын

I agree. The psychobabbling claptrap sounds as though he's spent too much time in America academia. Whatever happened to the simple English we can all understand without the constant use of a dictionary to work what he's trying to say?

@wendyrosen3179

4 жыл бұрын

"People who need people are the luckiest people in the world...." An old Streisand song. Very true.

@TCFan30

4 жыл бұрын

@@mrwwright So you should be...it's pseudo therapy mate!

@lolabandola3250

4 жыл бұрын

I agree. 😓

im lonely and i smoke so im literally fukked :D

@marydfoleydavis

6 жыл бұрын

but you're funny..SCORE!!

@NoSkillsRequired

6 жыл бұрын

Beke Denes i smoke and feel lonely some times

@FaveORitt

6 жыл бұрын

Beke Denes but u have a sense of humor

@JoseSanchez-bp7xz

5 жыл бұрын

Beke Denes You have to find things you have in common with people.

@annapaulikonis2433

5 жыл бұрын

Quit 🚬 smoking and make a new friend.

I believe in this wholeheartedly. I am seeing how people are content to discard those who are too lonely and broken, suggesting that we just let people "figure things out for themselves". I don't believe in that mindset. That is what is wrong with our society. How do I get involved in this project?

@daniellerussell9360

6 жыл бұрын

So true thank you for this

@nammyohorengekyoooooo

6 жыл бұрын

one of the problems is that it's hard to find people u truly resonate with. Jannifer and Danielle, I need friends like u:)

@lovelystorm891

6 жыл бұрын

Jannifer Stoddard But brag about " call Me anytime day/night If you feel like hurting yourself. bs.

@JoseSanchez-bp7xz

5 жыл бұрын

Jannifer Stoddard People in general have to figure out things for themselves. They aren’t going to let others make decisions for them. Not adults.

@NiceOCGuy1981

5 жыл бұрын

Jose Sanchez exactly. We must fix our loneliness ourselves. No one is going to fix it for us. Sure, it's nice to have the support of a good friend, but no one is entitled to one.

Loneliness is soul crushing… it’s gonna be the death of me

I don't have much confidence in digital empathy. Digital communication lacks so much when compared to face to face communication. I think it may be better than nothing, but not by much.

I'm giving up,. I'm tired of being tired and lonely

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

4 жыл бұрын

Don't ever give up as long as you have breath in your body and free will. Life is a gift, a real *gift* that we have been given. Many, many people were born before us.. and many, many others will be born after us. BUT Our Only time on this planet is NOW. Please Don't take it for granted or feel like their is no point. Once you realise the absolute Miracle of life you will never again look at your own life in the same way.

@lolabandola3250

4 жыл бұрын

🌹 Do you wanna chat? 🌹

I often feel most lonely when I'm in a room with other people. I crave proper intellectual conversation with the people that I meet, but sadly, however, I very rarely get it. Luckily, I am a person with a very stimulated mind and always enjoy my own company, so I'm never truly lonely.

@bircruz555

4 жыл бұрын

I dig you!

Great presentation. The connection between the mind and the body is so intricate, it's no surprise loneliness has such a quick and harsh affects. I love that you are working with connecting people to improve health and happiness. Thank you for sharing!

I am a nurse, and have cared for patients with all types of problems. That empathy has carried to my personal life and experiences, (or should I say it the other way around) but I find that I am there for many people I thought were my friends, but there are literally only a couple who give back what I so (too) easily give. The problem becomes expecting to get back what you give...and when you don't, it makes one very sad, depressed, and lonely. I am not a big social media techie, but I think Will Wright makes a great point which has been proven by so many studies....that lonliness is affecting our health, both mental and therefore also physical....the brain and our moods controlling the production of cortisol and other detrimental hormones instead of the hormones like serotonin, oxytocin...that affect our health in a good and positive way. I will come back to these other discussions in the near future.

@scepticalguitarist9972

5 жыл бұрын

I think I get what you're saying Susan. I supported many people over the course of my life because I could empathise with what they were struggling to cope with and because they needed my help . But When I became ill with depression and lost my job I didn't get this back from any of the people I'd helped. I really don't know whether to fell angry of sad about it, but its clear to me that I'm on my own

I wanna tear down this society and start a new one where no one will be lonely. I'll tear it down.

@arankatothnekocsis2519

5 жыл бұрын

You don't have to tear it down. Tear down what you created. Instead of having such a thoughts try to find something a kind of creative hobby or job what can make you happier.

Everything was fine then I got a cancerous tumour at age 14, I spent around 4 years of my life in hospital. When I finally got healthy enough to begin living a normal life the sheer reality of being on my own, having lost all my friends due to illness was just horrible. 7 years on and I have cried and prayed to god every single day for some form of friendship and company within my life. I’ve finally got to a point where I can’t keep pretending this will ever happen for me. My life is just a long blow in the tumbleweed😩

Its said that loneliness is a big problem in our society today it makes me sad. And you know what i found out that friends and family members dont want to keep intouch you have them on whatapp other social media but they refuse to make contact its as if they dont want you to know whats going on in their life. So you just get on with your life. Thats how loneliness starts

@jeremiahfitzwinkle323

5 жыл бұрын

I could write the same thing regarding my family and (ex)friends. I complettely dont understand it.......Im Al. Please be in touch if you feel it. I live in Pittsburgh, PA

i am a broken woman... alone and lonely

@justme7585

6 жыл бұрын

Kâmm t - I am so sorry to hear that. Get outside even if to just walk at the mall or a flea market.. or grocery store, just to feel the energy of other people.

@douglassmith2055

6 жыл бұрын

Sunshine. Really, it works!

@LabRat6619

5 жыл бұрын

Try to own a dog or lend a friend's dog and go for a long walk. When I walk my dog other dog people talk to me because of that fact.

@annapaulikonis2433

5 жыл бұрын

Volunteer join a church group get a job.Thete is always someone worse off than you and needs your hrlp.Dont go down that datk 🐰 rabbit hole.Peace.

@angiep8217

5 жыл бұрын

When I was lonely & depressed I went to a park & hugged a tree

Enjoying my loneliness for 20 years. Don't drink & smoke. Run everyday & as healthy as ever. Love studying new things (currently Chinese language and accounting.) Not denying anything. Guess I'm a lucky exception.

@artlover3120

5 жыл бұрын

Lucky you!

@AnNeachDorcha

5 жыл бұрын

@@TecteZockt Are you going to comment that on every post that states they enjoy being alone? Clearly you don't understand what SPD is. Op stated they like being alone not that they avoid social activities or interaction with other humans. Big difference.

@user-dc4bl1cu2k

5 жыл бұрын

You're not alone. I don't enjoy my loneliness that much but i dont mind it either.

@Hemmings-qd6hg

5 жыл бұрын

People are wired differently. To some, very little human contact is needed or desired. To others, lack of interaction is truly painful. These people need to learn how to make and keep friends. But they have to take the initiative and seek out help.

@thinkingofaname6233

5 жыл бұрын

8910Hemmings I’ll help kill others. So others can feel the pain.

Lonely people need connection understanding compassion LOVE not message we need real hug not an emoji . In this modern world where we are supposed to be so connected with digital networks actually we are just becoming more emotionless more like strangers, yes message feels good for a moment but thats about it. It can never replace real understanding real hug and real feeling of being loved and cared about

@amg726

Жыл бұрын

100% agree!

Someone once send me a gif that said "ghost hugs, you can't feel it, but it's there" and it meant a lot to me.

I crave music and nature more than human contact.

A comment below by Jannifer Stodart rang so true. I am a healthy person, but lack of connections (single child, distant family) has led me to feel so much loneliness that is hurt. I can only imagine being sick on top of that, it's mind boggling. Being too lonely too long makes one feel dis empowered, lowered self confidence and even makes one odd or strange to others, eccentric maybe or just awkward; People are weary of the too lonely, they are sometimes quirky and socially inept, maybe they have grown a little bitter and disenfranchised. When a group of person accepts the child or adult that seems untoward and allows the person to work through the issues that have arisen due to prolonged isolation and lack of support, then they might at last break the walls of loneliness and it's destructive prospects. patience and persistence and acceptance are rare commodities in our always ON world.

@aoflex

5 жыл бұрын

I'm in a similar boat - I had a broken childhood and received virtually no love, support, or affection (Adverse Childhood Experience score of 9). As a teen, I internalized the idea that I didn't deserve any of these things, and worse yet I convinced myself that I was a burden on others. So I have been pretty much isolated for ~15 years. I'm just now confronting and solving issues in my broken childhood, partly by reading peaceful parenting books in order to learn how I should have been parented. Some forms of loneliness require deep introspection. In some cases, supportive txt messages are just a bandaid addressing a symptom.

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

@@aoflex Wow. I took a look at your playlist and I see that you are one deep-thinking, introspective and apparently very intelligent person!! I can tell you would make a great conversationalist! Don't hide your light under a frigging bushel! 😉

The question is- what is better, having no friends, or being around fake friends?

@rajin7034

4 жыл бұрын

You gotta keep searching for friends that care about you is not easy but you gotta try.

To anyone feeling lonely I have cyberhugs

@annapaulikonis2433

5 жыл бұрын

Hugs Back At Ya.

@Third_Eye_Conspiracy

5 жыл бұрын

*cyberhugs you back*

@heiskanbuscadordelaverdad8709

4 жыл бұрын

thanks but you are not helping

It's killing YOU. I love my solitude and creating things to put out in the world.

@bruhd4560

4 жыл бұрын

the bongheadization this is talking about loneliness not literally being alone.

Loneliness have been haunting me for a long time years come years go, loneliness have been my major problem. Since am an introvert by nature, when I'm from work I'll just switch off my phone because no one will check on me. I've tried relationships but I do appear needy to people I care about since I'm the one to initiate contact. I feel so bad.

Well, I'm 58 and have always been lonely and it went very well.

This guy knows what he's talking about well done.

I’d rather be dead than to continue to live alone and hear from others once in a great while. How long will it take for me to reach that point of death as you claim from living alone than for me to end my life? Every time I go to the doctors and they say my health is good, I question your statistics on people who are lonely get some kind of disease like cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes and the like. I smoke a pack a day, that’s 20 cigarettes a day and yet I am still healthy with no health risk or issues to date. Social media IMO has become only a way for people to “show off” a facade of their lives so they can feel better about themselves and the fake person they are and the life they want others to THINK they’re living.

Yep I totally agree. I will have a total stranger scattering my ashes. If I ever found out that I had an incurable disease, I wouldn't even get treatment. I would just let the Lord take me.

We need more open places in our towns that open all day til evening every day for people that lost their family and dont have friends i am one of them, a place that has teas coffees creative things to do if want to and even a meal if you want run by the people that on their own bubby place. Yes i have had many giving me phone numbers to meet up its never happens as the words you here i not got the time right now i get back to you never happens i love a big home open home to invite all the people that live alone i mean alone no family no friends. I find also us people get used only phone if they need support or want some thing being on your own is a tuff life to lead love and hugs sent to all out there.

I live alone and live in loneliness as it's hard to me to trust people 💔😢😥 I wish I was rich and just out and travel to meet people. I have no friends and family turned their backs on me 😭😫 I go see therapists. It's costing me $100 to $1000+ to talk to some person. It's hard to go out and meet people without the negative notions as come off "weird" or "creepy" After my parents passed away many years, I'm slowly dying without no friends or support with diabetes and other chronic anxiety health. Being lonely isn't choice. I do have thoughts of suicidal thoughts as I am so alone without no Brother's, sisters and my parents who've passed away. I question why I'm alive for.

@SuperLammens

5 жыл бұрын

feel sorry for you, maybe a companionshipanimal like a dog or cat could help you feel less lonely. Never give up on family relations, even when you have misunderstanding and arguments with them. Do not just drop the relation as you will suffer sooner or later. Your heart needs deep long lasting connections with people who really know you and yr history. Social media and smart phones are killing actual real connections with people. Try it and see if it works.

@MartellThaCool

5 жыл бұрын

@@SuperLammens pets are expensive where I'm at and got no room for a pet to live in with me. I lost connection with family afterwards and it's eating me alive. I do tried to go out and meet people but it never seems to work or end up meeting weirdos, drunks, and other kind strange people

@geniemeadows5122

5 жыл бұрын

@Martell Tha Cool...see my comment to Mark of CAIN above your comment hopefully. cheers

@Jay-cy4js

4 жыл бұрын

wim lammens no ... I think this mentality leads many people into deep loneliness . That are around family or relatives that made them choose to be alone in the first place , many people feel the most alone around people they don’t want to be around and yes they are the most lonely with these people .

@MartellThaCool

4 жыл бұрын

@@Jay-cy4js yes, that's correct. My traitorus family from my mom's and dad's side of the family ruined and warped me. I live alone and it's eaten me 😭

I never feel lonely. I love being on my own. Looking at how messed up the world is reinforces my desire to be on my own.

@kathzemiau7234

3 жыл бұрын

Lucky you. I thought of me the same way befor the pandemic. But now this loneliness is killing me.

@aussie8114

3 жыл бұрын

@@kathzemiau7234 I would struggle without electronic entertainment. Music, tv, KZread, but I can do without dealing with people face to face. If you get lonely try to learn new things and become a clever cookie 🤓

@aussie8114

2 жыл бұрын

@@jensebermann4735 Yes, and some have only essential needs.

So it does affect your health, that explains the shortening in my breath and the tightening of my chest i regularly get.

Just sitting here with my Sociology & Biology degrees. I simply watch the world collapse. I personally think life is just a string of goals over a course of time. I get my degree - then what. I get a job - then what. Married, sports car, house - then what? We chase the stick and carrot and eat it, only for it to be replaced by a new carrot. We don’t live to chase the carrot, we just exist in relation to that goddamn carrot.

Digitizing empathy? I'd rather have a friend to do things with. Digitizing empathy sounds like artificial intelligence is our only hope for friendship. Say hi to R2D2 your new friend!

There's a saying: "pain is inevitable - suffering is optional." For the chronically lonely, suffering is _not_ optional. The experience is endlessly destructive of our self-worth and sense of competence and coping. It reopens wounds suffered long ago and ensures they'll never heal.

I'm 33 and I've been lonely since 2011. I'm struggling to find the courage to take my own life. How long is it until someone develops a life threatening disease from loneliness?

@mport09

5 жыл бұрын

If you have a goal, maybe you can go for it and that will give you a drive. If you don't have anything in mind, maybe you can volunteer with seniors to keep them company, or kids, or other volunteer services.

@ianbarry6615

5 жыл бұрын

Dear Richard, I'm a Christian, get out and join a full Gospel church.

@arminiusofgermania

5 жыл бұрын

jim broker Yes we all will die in the end. Life doesn't last forever, but that's what makes it precious. Life is too short to worry about dying, but rather it should be spent living, and enjoying what little remains.

@glittergreentea7159

5 жыл бұрын

You don't DiE from loneliness unfortunately.

@denisemcwhorter179

5 жыл бұрын

Richard King I know this comes a year after your post. I want to encourage you to take your mind off of being lonely and get involved in something that interests you. Each time you begin to think about being lonely train your mind to recognize the change in your thoughts then purposefully think of something else. Something you enjoy. There is so much life to see. The world is fascinating! while you are exploring, you find those that care about what you care about.

To me this is ridiculous. I guess to younger folks this sounds ok. To me, texting is where everything went wrong. it does not replace an actual phone call where people talked, joked and laughed on the phone sometimes for hours, and you were not afraid that everything you said would be in print forever for them to show whomever else at the office, or remind you later if you got angry, or someone hacks your phone and your deepest darkest feelings end up on youtube. I think texts should be used as a handy extra but not the whole enchilada. It is like giving a starving person a sniff of a balanced meal and saying you saved his life.

Beg to differ. I love being alone. That's what makes me feel free and at ease. Being with people stresses me out, it creates mental pain and physical strain. I can't stand being forced to socialize. I'm alone most of the times but I do not feel lonely. I just feel naturally me. Being alone is my definitive preference. I think we are many. Living alone, being alone and spending time alone doesn't weaken me. It strengthen me. I know lot's of people that are alone almost all the time that are at great health. I see many people that MUST be with others that stress alot, drink alot, smoke alot, eat alot etc. People are too afraid of being alone cause they fear lonelyness, thats because they aren't very independent.

@Underhills

6 жыл бұрын

Think you missed the point. The title of this video is "Loneliness is literally killing us" - that's a rather bald statement. So, if you wanna communicate that we're not all the same then slip him a message. Your barking up the wrong tree. As I wrote, being depended on others are killing as many if not more. I'm in fact saying we're all individually living alone or with others.

@Underhills

6 жыл бұрын

You keep missing the point. Everything in what you write proves that. I don't have the time to lecture a person that is so lost in quasi science as you are. It'll take a huge step forward for you personally before your have the ability to understand. There are millions of people around the world living in solitary that are all fine, both mentally and physically. People that are depended on others for everything in life however are at bad health. They over socialize, drink too much, eat too much etc. But all the best to you. Hope your alright.

@danielxu8416

6 жыл бұрын

Being physically lonely and feeling lonely are two different things define your arguments guys, someone can be physically lonely and not feel lonely in this video the person us talking about the effect of feeling lonely (the negative emotion)

@kolyxix

6 жыл бұрын

Ventende, There is nothing quasi science about it. It is backed up by pure scientific research. Agreed, that you enjoy having keeping to yourself, but other people need the presence of others from time to time, even those though they enjoy being by themselves. AND just because you enjoy keeping to yourself doesn't mean everyone should lock themselves up. People die from feeling lonely, it called depression. I know people who spent years isolating themselves from others, no one to talk to for advice, the end result was loneliness and homelessness.

@kolyxix

6 жыл бұрын

Oh give me a break. You just referred to what someone was saying as quasi science.

Im screwed, been lonely all my life.

I am proof that loneliness kills but it's doing it slowly and horrifically painful.

@gregnz1

5 жыл бұрын

Women have a longer life expectancy than men.

Society is cruel if you need money, society will give you just enough to survive if you lack food, society will give you something to eat, but if you lack company, society will make sure that it is practically impossible not to be alone because society does not wants his weakest individuals to die but to suffer and remain in a state of eternal parasitization without ever being able to transmit their genes

according to this video I should have been dead by now... 😟

@CC-mm3bl

4 жыл бұрын

I know right. We should be walking cancer cells by now.

@mymoon4748

4 жыл бұрын

me too

@charleselikana9039

4 жыл бұрын

Love you

This is starting to be a new thing that many motivational speakers have been talking about the last several years. And that’s that loneliness can ultimately cause health issues down the line and that’s it’s as bad as smoking cigarettes daily.

@gloriamaryhaywood2217

5 жыл бұрын

Anything that affects us emotionally can have a negative and devastating effect on our health.Things like loneliness, grief, loss, shock, stress, poverty, heartache, excessive worry, ect. Oh yeah, all these things can impact our health big time!!

@TCFan30

4 жыл бұрын

Motivational speakers are just glorified sales people.

So I’m gonna die young, alone, and lonely. Great to know.

Some people or something let us down and we start to feel lonely. If we can try not to expect anything too much in life we may not feel that lonely. I personally do not have close friends who I can talk about anything with them and often I have to keep it inside me. When I have enough I ask myself should I let go of these inside me now because it is gonna kill me. I have to fight with this feeling of loneliness when i feel let down by someone or something or even myself. So loneliness can happen to anyone and not only people who have no friends or family. I try to tell myself we born alone and we will die alone. Nothing we can take with us.

Everyone I know literally seems to be more interested in their TV set

Excellent work and thanks to you and your team of empathisers for your contribution to society !

Social media is alot of the blame

I agree that if we would just text someone we would feel less lonely, however it is not that simple. When you know talking will make you feel better, but you don't want to bother anyone. You never talk to these people, so why start now? They probably don't like you anymore. If you wanted to talk to them you should have been doing it the whole time. Of course you are lonely, you won't text or talk anyone. Its your own fault. And, when you FINALLY get up the courage to do so, they say that you complain too much, rant too much. Or they interrupt you, a lot. Then complain that you never talk to them or express your feelings. It is not that easy to send a text. It is not easy to talk to someone.

@homagourabi6411

5 жыл бұрын

It is easy, it become hard bcos u make it hard Stop analysing.

@michellecottrell3553

5 жыл бұрын

That is always my fear I don't want to be a burden on anyone

Thanks for sharing this idea so important for us

Thank you Will ! An awesome message and so very very true - I am living proof !!Last year I was diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo . I received loads of text messages from family and friends throughout the year , and a WA group was created for me . The value of those message was enormous and played a huge role in my healing , and because of the value of text message , with permission , I too support and encourage others going through cancer and chemo .- I was competing in the greatest Iron man challenge of my life and I had excellent text seconds all the way to the finish line . My results were outstanding , so much so , that I created an FB page Headscarves&herbs managing cancer and chemo to encourage others . I am in total agreement , text messages definitely bring about more empathy and with empathy there is more action !

There is game called *Kind Words* if you feeling loneliness 😊 recoment

Is this guy trying to say that sms from random person getting paid for doing that is going to cure people loneliness?

@mrwwright

6 жыл бұрын

Well... not quite. We all start out being random people, right? What if we could build connections with folks who understood our conditions over time? It's that long term relationship that matters. As for being paid to do so, yes we had to make this a job because I think we need to put resources behind people who's role is to help people with stigmatized conditions, etc. But there are pros and cons to that, I realize. Thanks for the comment.

@kittygirl833

6 жыл бұрын

Will Wright can i get a job

@mrwwright

6 жыл бұрын

;) Not hiring right now but keep us in mind!

@aiahzohar5636

5 жыл бұрын

@Mariusz Yes! Then people can feel better about themselves because, you know, they're doing something about the problem we're all contributing to making worse and worse. They don't actually have to make the problem much less, just pretend ... I mean ... do the busywork. :)

@lolabandola3250

4 жыл бұрын

🌹 I don't believe in this. People need people. 🌹 "In this connected world we became disconnected."

From my own experience in life, loneliness is in human mind and can be ignored since I have been by myself for over ten years and actually feeling more content than when I was with family.

@muhariefayif

6 ай бұрын

No. You're just not there yet. Human's body are designed to connect with people. Especially touch.

I am alone but not lonely. I feel fine. Does it still kill me?

i have felt like being on my own since i was a kid... school and church and social things were enough... so i especially during the pandemic have stayed to myself, sort of like a recluse, until i felt like needing others, so after the reopening, i went out to dance like i used to before on the weekends... i have some dance friends, and there i like them giving me hugs along the way while i dance for 3 hours for exercise... I went Type 2 and gained 30 pounds during lockdown, so now Rybelsus and dancing are helping me lose the weight i gained and taking my sugar back down to normal levels... my legs had celulitis, so dance is strengthening them again... I had Prostate green light laser surgery and it is healing... my man parts began to itch 4-5 months after surgery, so i began massaging them with a machine... now that area is healing and responding well... life is wonderful... solitude for working on my body and sociality to work on my spirit and to enjoy the friends i have out there. i do FB too. I am retired and 71 years old and i drink water when i go out... xoxo

I developed a problem when i met someone new, i have trust issue. All because most loved person i have died one by one.. So i thought it's best just be me.. Not depending on someone else for comfort...

Great up until he presented his idea. I feel as though outside of older, vulnerable populations, most of the patients would wise up to the "digitized empathy" approach and realize that there is no human being behind the specific messages. Automating empathy is itself an oxymoron as it requires specific, human interactions. The solutions, I believe, should be a return in a sense to increased face-to-face (or at least personal) human interactions, bonding, and genuine connections that have made human beings social since the development of early Homo Sapiens. If automation has a role it would be to serve a supplementary role (sending motivational quotes and statistics, and keeping individuals accountable alongside the other interactions).

@mrwwright

6 жыл бұрын

Hi there... just saw this so wanted to reply. We actually are connecting real people to folks in need, just using digital bridges to do so (SMS, text messages, etc.). I agree with your points overall. Thank you for the thoughtful comments. This is an incredibly challenging problem to solve, so I also appreciate that there are a lot of ways to attack it.

@JavedAlam24

6 жыл бұрын

Devidicus - Don't know where you got the idea that it's from a computer - he specifically says that they paired people up with extremely empathetic people, so your point is moot.

@JavedAlam24

6 жыл бұрын

Sum Mors - fair point. Will Right is the speaker here so has more motivation to appear empathetic however. I saw no indication in the OPs post that they were suffering, otherwise I would have replied with tact. I was slightly frustrated that they hadn't paid attention to the talk.

@lebasi529

6 жыл бұрын

agree

@MatthewFosterMusic

5 жыл бұрын

I agree 100%! Wise words!

the problem is is that i dont have someone who cares

@ahmedwarsame9857

3 жыл бұрын

Where is your parents, siblings, aunts, neighbours or classmates.....!!!. Or husband or spouse.

I hate social media, it's put more distance between me and my local friends. I can't emotionally connect with people if I can't see their faces in person, if I can't hug them or shake their hand. I've been so lonely for so long, it's literally killing me, and sometimes I really want to die. I'm desperate to make new connections, with people I trust, people that make me feel good, and most of all, people I can spend quality time with in person. But I have social anxiety, and possibly Asperger's, so it's quite a bit more challenging, and rare, to find people I really connect with.

@zoriamm5064

Жыл бұрын

Your not alone I go through the same thing

Good point... In 2014 I'd pushed away or lost nearly everyone I'd cared about and soon after had a nervous breakdown. Within 12 months had a terminal illness, via a cocktail of prescription drugs and alcohol. Now I'm dying with zero support an rapidly, in the last four year's I've found the pain of loneliness crippling and it masks my illness

@jessekirksey1980

5 жыл бұрын

john doe I found a purpose in life to take up time. Me and you are in the same boat since 2012

Online and offline people still needs others to empathsize for them. This technology has the ability to do this Worldwide. I agree with Live United about people needing a handshake, a hug and a good conversation . Omr has a good point also .. Empathy is empathy . We just have to do our best as good people to show others yes we Care about our Fellow man Offline and Online. Not everyone has the ability to show it. This is just my viewpoint . ✌🇺🇸😊🙏