I assume if permanent changes have been made, they have been left in no man's land(so to speak). Feeling like neither one or the other. I think this why more ground work needs to be done before transition in the first place instead of blind affirmation.

This is my first video of yours I'm watching. Ritchie recommended you. I love your vibe, you fome across as such a kind, smart, thoughtful human being. I've subscribed ❤

Thank you for your frankness Carol - it's making a difference.

People can't get the help they need when counselors are legally obligated to affirm only.

@SourPatches2077

6 ай бұрын

Not sure how legally obligated they are actually. I believe it has more to do with the policies of the mental health system.

My Kaiser doctor told me (after telling her I no longer wanted to do the transition gig), “Let me know if you ever change your mind.” She meant well. 🧐

"very uncomfortable with their place in the world as male or female" that is exactly what i feel, i do like myself but it's hard to not feel defective sometimes & i agree it's a coping mechanism. when i "retransitioned" i also did it because i truly felt that i could be a man in some way, like a "social man" but i don't believe that anymore. just because someone sees me as something without knowing me, doesn't mean that they're correct in their incorrect judgement of me. i also didn't detransition "properly" the first time like you said, some people are jumping to have quick fixes or another identity i don't know if everyone can get to the very bottom of all their underlying issues, there's so many layered reasons why we do anything

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

I agree, it can be very difficult. But in my experience just acknowledging them can be very helpful.

@derekb4977

Жыл бұрын

@@SourPatches2077 I don't believe in Retranstion because I think it's very easy for the trans cult to use that as an excuse and I've seen someone do exactly that with toxic behaviour I always see through these crazy lunatics, I also had a random conversation with a a stranger he was selling badges you can imagine what they were so I called him out on it and he held his hand up and admitted he probably shouldn't be doing that I no longer bite my tongue I really do outdo myself I think I got through to him I told him about the Detrans girls and boys so the more we speak the better.

@samanthathompson9812

6 ай бұрын

I've never felt at home as a human being. Feeling at odds with a physical body and/or with other people, feeling you are acting and don't fit in - is more common than people think. Now we are interpreting it through the lens of gender. But it might be the human condition.

You are smarter than most therapists I work with who are gender ideologues. I so appreciate you sharing your experience and helping me become a more competent mental health provider.

Thank you so much for posting this and for your whole channel. I've recently desisted and have been reconsidering my decision lately because I still experience dysphoria, but people like you show me it's 100% possible to be happy as a woman. God bless you

Carol you keep me sane 🌸

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

I’m glad one of us is ;)

Thank you for bringing compassion to the multiple ways human beings who are struggling have and continue to be exploited and confused at every possible turn. Your honesty and clear understanding is really apparent in your analysis.

Where does one go to address underlying issues? It seems the whole system is geared toward trans affirming care. In my mind, this means therapists aren’t really going to get down to real issues with you in an honest way. What a conundrum.

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! This has been the most disappointing part of all for me.

@MichelleyB-zk3eh

3 ай бұрын

I was thinking the same thing.

I think this is exactly why these detransition stories are so incredibly important. We have now lived in a society that uses 'trans medicalist' as a slur, that thinks gender is a spectrum and you can land everywhere, that transitioning is easy and harmless, that hormone blockers are fully reversible, for over half a decade now. But in fact, gender disphoria is a serious mental disorder. It's serious stuff. You aren't able to accept the body you were literally born in, for the simple (not so simple) reason that you don't like your sex traits. In such cases, seeing this for what it is is important. Where did it come from? How far has it progressed? How likely is it that the patient is gonna change their mind? How does the patient view the transition? Does the patient know about every side effect, about every risk, just every single detail about the transition? These are all questions a professional should work with. The reason why I think many people nowadays retransition was because it wasn't even considered that what they have isn't gender disphoria. If someone has deeply ingrained and strong gender disphoria, and that person really needs to transition to live, than that person is transgender. I can't even imagine the guilt I'd feel if I was a doctor who prescribed these hormones, who did these surgeries, to a person who wasn't fully aware of what is even going on. Imagine you literally make people infertile, cut body parts off, mess up their entire hormone balance foe good, eventually give them an autoimmune disease or diabetes, and that person isn't even fully consciously there yet. I'd literally never be able to forgive myself. And I'd do anything to not let that happen. But way to many doctors nowadays give absolutely no fuck. They give hormone blockers to literal 11 year Olds through their entire puberty, even though it's been proven that around 70% of the kids grow up to not have gender disphoria but be homosexuals. How on earth, if such statistics exist, can transitioning and hormone blockers be viewed as something so simple? I don't get it. It's important that these people speak up. It's important to know that these gender politics won't lead anywhere where we want to be. It's very important to hear about the people who thought that gender is fun and transitioning is freeing, just to find out that it's not just fun and games later on. The video was brilliant! Thank you so much for this!

Great video, Carol. It looks like the obsession about "passing" remains pretty strong in some detransitioners, perhaps leading a number of them to retransition.

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

That might be a factor. But don’t underestimate the importance and f being seen as the sex you are.

@Royalty_girlie

Жыл бұрын

That's actually not the leading reason for detransitions. Most are saying it's due to the fact that they were either rushed into it or made the wrong decision and were again, rushed into it. This isn't against the trans community. It's just the truth. We have to start listening to those who detransition and stop sweeping coercion under the rug. This person's story is not the majority, it's valid but it's not the majority and we have to be real about it.

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

@@Royalty_girlie proof ?

@Royalty_girlie

Жыл бұрын

@@SourPatches2077 watch the MANY videos about detransitioning. Literally every single one is a young person who regrets their choice. Pull up any video I guarantee you'll see it. It's not that hard.

@SourPatches2077

Жыл бұрын

@@Royalty_girlie my issue is with your phrasing. “Rushed” or “made the wrong choice” neither of which are accurate because our medical model is affirmation only and it is considered a medical condition that is diagnosed. There is no fault that lies with the individual who regrets their transition. They went to professionals with an issue and were given a treatment. The treatment didn’t work & a better less invasive treatment would have been better. The fault is with the medical establishment.

Very interesting video! I so appreciate you sharing your wisdom and lived experience with us! And all of that makes a LOT of sense! Been contemplating some similar stuff myself as well, but I don't have your lived experience, as I'm not detrans myself. I also think one problem, which is also very understandable, is the whole tribalism thing that happens.. As these issues are so heavily polarized! And humans are tribal animals! And it's like: "okay, so what tribe do YOU belong to? Are you OUR tribe? Or are you the trans tribe? We reject the trans tribe, so if you move back there with them, we don't like you! And we'll feel like you sold us out!" And like.. I get it. I've got tribalistic instincts myself as well. And can sometimes fall into some black-and-white thinking. Plus I think transition is EXTREMELY harmful, reject gender / trans ideology 100%, am a feminist who instead sees female oppression from THAT perspective, don't believe in "true trans", see people doing this to themselves as obvious self-harm / lying / self-denial / delusion, and.. ya know. All that stuff. So I am SO obviously not neutral on this! And I'm also a very fiery, intense, emotional sort of person! So when I see a female detransitioner, say, who then went back and retransed..? It's easy to then have an instant negative gut reaction, of: "OMG, she betrayed us, and sold us out!" But.. this made me really think about that. How what she's doing, really..? Is NOT setting out to betray anyone! And it is not about tribe this or that! (Unless it is. Sometimes it MIGHT be. I think for Amy Dyess, for instance, it was largely a BPD thing that made her change allegiances again. And subsequently re-trans.) Anyway... what she's doing is trying to cope with her pain, and her unresolved trauma, using possibly the only defective strategy that she's got available to her! Which is still heartbreaking! And also, to me, really painful! As I hate seeing women harm themselves this way! And also further push for this harmful lie, that I wish society had NEVER accepted, to begin with! But really..? I don't think us GCs should be angry with re-trans women, that are obviously just trying to COPE, and using defective coping strategies! And maybe we should think more about how we treat them, and our approach to them..? I also believe in being HONEST, and staying true to my principles. So I'm not ever going to pretend like I think their re-transition is a GOOD thing, and not harmful. Or like I think they are true trans. Or like I think they're now REALLY the other sex. Or start altering my language, and using wrong sex pronouns. Or any of that jazz... But I think it's kind of like when you have an anorexic loved one, or a cutter loved one, or an addict loved one, that then relapses back into those behaviors, right..? Some anger is understandable, as we are all just humans, with feelings. And when they relapse, you should still never CONDONE those behaviors, and pretend like you support them. BUT..? I think it's also useful to realize that this is not about YOU! And they're not doing this to hurt you! They are doing it because THEY have mental issues, that have since resurfaced, and this is the only way they know how to deal with them! Same thing with "trans". With the one crucial, awful difference being that the latter is glorified and encouraged by an insane society! So yeah.. That probably just makes it even EASIER for people to fall back into that one! Sh*t is SO f*cked up. Gahhhhh. But 'eh... NOT condoning it. Being honest. Maybe getting some distance, for the sake of one's own sanity / well-being / mental health, if need be. But also, simultaneously, NOT hating on re-transitioners for being "traitors", as that is really NOT what this is about! Hopefully people can be compassionate, even. Like: "this sucks. How can we help this person?" ..Unless, of course, they turn on us, and start talking about how HORRIBLE we are, how AWFUL we are, how BIGOTED we are, etc. Hard to stay friendly with them, when they do that. I'd just cut my losses, in that case. As they would also have made it abundantly clear that they now reject women on THIS side. Which they have every right to do, obviously. Although if they actually worked through their sh*t, decided to detrans again, and apologized for that relapsing episode in their lives..? I'd be inclined to be forgiving! Although perhaps not if the back-and-forth spiralling becomes a PATTERN.. As it's just FAR too emotionally draining! Speaking as someone who's got a past of dearly loving an addict. Who said he wanted to get sober, and was indeed sober for a while. But then relapsed.. and relapsed.. and relapsed.. And messed up EVERYTHING, and lied to me, and betrayed me, each and every time! And.. it eventually got to a point where I realized: "either I go down with this ship, and have my mental and emotional health DESTROYED, right along with his..? Or I prioritize myself first, and I LEAVE! Even though I still love him!" Which.. I ended up doing the latter, and I'm really glad I did! Even though it was painful as HELL, at first. And yeah.. For women who do the CONSTANT detrans-retrans cycle thing..? I can see there being a few similar elements. That might lead to deep emotional involvement with them also being insanely painful. Especially if you're a GC person, who doesn't buy this sh*t, and rightfully sees it as self-harm. So.. I think I'd probably have to cut my losses with that too, at SOME point. But I wouldn't want to hate on that person, still. ..Thank you for making me think about this! And all kinds of interesting things, always.

You make a lot of good points! Thanks!

You have a nice voice

This is great. My state is passing legislation prohibiting minors from srs, but folded on puberty blockers and hormones for kids. I'm so disappointed. Legislators are so ignorant on this topic and so cowardly. I've sent my reps some videos from people who have suffered from all of this as children and adults, but the general public is ignorant and the trans lobby is vicious.

@Royalty_girlie

Жыл бұрын

I don't think children should be able to take any life altering drugs that doctors aren't telling the truth about. These are drugs that can't be reversed after a certain amount of years, drugs that hurt children and leave them with lifelong complications that nobody talks about.

You talk in your videos about the large numbers of people that you have interacted with in this area. What sort of numbers are we talking about in terms of those detransitioning ?

💕

All the same Team.

🤘

Transition, detransition, retransition, redetransition...

I'm happy with transitioning maybe because I never got a sexchange but so interesting to hear others opinions, alot of trans think you have to go all the way but I'm here to say you don't.

I did not transition for ideology.

No human transitioned from one sex to the other and therefore no one can REtransitions. There are only regretters and cult members.

🧡