"but you give a man's insides to a spud, first thing he do is start bubblin for revenge" we should heed this warning

@cartertheunstoppablefaxmac902

Жыл бұрын

You give a tater a man’s constitution you can bet he’s comin to give ol Joad a call

tater disease what brung us the irish.

@leavethisemptier

4 жыл бұрын

at 1:08

@AtticusHess

Жыл бұрын

As an Irish-American who's grandfather came here because of the tater disease. I really feel that.

@theodorebear6714

Жыл бұрын

@@AtticusHess It ain't no mark on yer honor Atticus. It's the spuds gone to Ireland and then Russia makes booze out of potatoes and WHEAT?! They call it vodka but Ireland do whisky. I can't rightly tell you why but that firewater is as good as any gin I ever drank so that st Patrick must have done the right thing for Ireland. That's why *I say* for Irish guys blessings of booze but don't over do! 🇮🇪 👍

@ameremortal

Жыл бұрын

@@theodorebear6714 🤣

I love how the guest almost agrees with "tater disease what brung us the Irish" before realizing what he just heard.

@SuperNintendawg

3 жыл бұрын

Well, it's true!

@slushy3943

Жыл бұрын

@@SuperNintendawgtater disease and the dirty brits!

You give a taters a man’s constitution, you can bet he’s comin to pay ol Joad a call

I almost can't take it sometimes....when Joad comes to the brutal realization that he is indeed speaking with a potato controlled humanoid...I can't keep a straight face to save my life. Impossible.

"Them Hebrews whut signed mah promisary notes come to me an' said ol' Joad need to have a book."

@ernstthalmann4306

9 ай бұрын

Ah, some old timey antisemitism Glorious

@herbivorethecarnivore8447

Ай бұрын

@@ernstthalmann4306 What was antisemitic about it though? All he said is that some jewish people who signed his promissory notes recommended he make a book

Yeah, he's actually very progressive but for old timey reasons.

This is pure gold, but my favourite part is where Joad "realizes" Robert Salkin 'got gave the mind of a tater'. The best, most sincere, senile rant face ever!

Who is this actor? He is absolutely dead-on.

@CeruleanFilms

8 жыл бұрын

+Edmund Catlin George Riddle

@zevaronxz7288

4 жыл бұрын

Actor?

@joeolmond4252

3 жыл бұрын

This isn’t acting It’s letting out the inner American in all of us

@zacharyriley4561

5 ай бұрын

He passed away.

Any chance of Joad returning for 2016 presidential race?

@Landrew0

8 жыл бұрын

+Stacy Boyd No chance, unfortunately due to his passing.

@LRGDuran

3 жыл бұрын

We need him now more than ever.

Tater disease what brung us the Irish.

I would be fine if the onion went Cressbeckler 24/7

"gonna have my jug band back here and if Jasper don't let me strum muh washboard we're gonna resort to cuttin'" ..this is the greatest character in the history of comedy

@JohnnyFalco

Жыл бұрын

I literally, in real life, peed my pants a little bit at that line

"I got my good friend Colonel Jaaames Bowie right here, same as cut the Chinese!"

And today Pat Robertson is freaking out about “human-mice hybrids” - once again the Onion is running ahead of real life.

@ernstthalmann4306

9 ай бұрын

Rest in piss Pat

And if Jasper don't let me strum my washboard we're gonna resort to cuttin

The Irish joke is entirely too funny

This was hysterically funny. Stand out lines for me... "Them Hebrew what sign my promissory notes come to me and said old Joad needed to have a book" "You give a tater man's constitution you can bet he's coming to pay old Joad a call!" "...cause I got my good friend, Colonel James Bowie right here, same as cut the Chinese."

So it's Fox news, but I actually like the host.

@abc7900

5 жыл бұрын

I think everyone is for organic food.

I think they might have stopped Joad because his lines are too hard to write lol

Joad isn't the man we want, he's the man we need.

I too have done terrible things to taters. Once, while I worked at a horrific facility known only as "McD", I was in charge of destroying thousands of potatoes by dunking them in scalding hot oil for minutes on end. The nightmares of that place haunt me still.

I REALLY hope they keep this guy. This is so well done.

Whatever happened to ol' Joad? We need him back.

It's like my grandpa is back again!

The guy being interviewed just gave up! “Alright Joad.”

"Japanese remake of the Hangover a terrifying ghost tale" hahaha omg I love the news running on the bottom!

"if Jasper don't let me strum my washboard, we're gonna resort ta cuttin!" LOL!!!

We need Joad more than ever now

@glameow12345

2 жыл бұрын

Yes we need him to run for the 2024 election, I would absolutely vote for him

My favorite part of this video is how the guest seems to perfectly understand what Joad is saying.

"Budget cutbacks force Blue Angels into fleet of blue stunt vans" LOL

It's amazing how many tangents he can pass through and still include the potato in the conversation.

I like how this is a serious issue with real health concerns and joad is mostly just worried about getting in a fight with his dinner

"I got my Colonel James Buie here *takes out knife*... same that cut the Chinese!!" I fucking love these.

"You got gave a mind of a tater!"

tater disease what brung us irish

man I love this guy. I could watch a whole half hour show of his.

This guy is perfect i cant hear his voice without dying when i start to make sense of what he is saying im just lost for words this is great😂😂😂 👍👍👍

"Gillette releases golden razor that only nicks impure of heart" LMFAO

"That wadn't my idea - them Hebrews what signed my promisory note come t' me and said ol' Joad needed to have a book." LOL

This is easily the funniest thing I've ever seen from The Onion. Amazing work.

amazing! I have a speech that i have to do tommorow on genetic engineering with foods and guess whos going to use this clip!

Joad's face @1:06 just made me spit water on my key board IRL!! lmao! pay this man whatever he asks to produce these videos daily. he's comic a genius! His timing is dead on!

please come out with more Joad. This is breakthrough stuff!!! Hurry!

"You give a tater mans constitution n' you can bet he's gonna pay old Joad a call!" - fucking LOL

Am I correct in thinking that he's afraid potatoes with human DNA are going to seek revenge for all the things he's done to potatoes in the past? It's so hard to make out what he's saying...

The last Cressbeckler Stance had me worried the quality control was getting a little lax over at the Onion. You guys delivered this time.

"Did I mention I still hate that rabbit?"

That man is the most entertaining actor I've ever seen on a video of any sort. This is definitely my favorite Onion broadcast.

Joad's facial expression at 1:06 is my new religion.

I didn't understand what was going on at first, but then I realized he's afraid of 'tater revenge. I'm now scared too, cause I also done did terrible things to 'taters!

Why does this not have more views?

I could definitely see O'Reilly threatening his guests with a knife at the mention of genetically modified potatoes in a few years.

Rest in peace, George Riddle.

Is that the Umbrella Corporation's logo in the background at 0:44?

how do I turn on the audio transcriber?

When did Bill O'Riley get a high quality intro/outro?

I can't get over the fact that an old comedy actor on a comedy news channel is the best pundit in media.

Tater minded is my new favorite insult

the scrolling words on the bottom of the screen are funnier then the old guy

Everything Joad says is pure comedic gold! Lmfao

@leobastian_

2 жыл бұрын

if only we could understand more then half of it

"Now y'all stay close here, gonna have my jug band back here and a Jasper don't let me strum the worst part we're gonna resort to cuttin"

Closed Caption is amazing on this video.

If this was on fox it would be the highest rated show in the ol' U.S. of A.

I remember him! He was the best part of the '08 election series. Is this his only other spot? He deserves his own segment every week.

"Cause I got my good friend Colonel James Bowie right here, same as cut the Chinese."

@goldragon988 You can transcribe the audio, but the captions are all wrong...I think.

For a second there I thought I was watching the O'Reilly Factor.

this reminds of the scene in Blazzin Saddles with "authentic frontier gibberish" :D

Damn, Missed the Joad Cressbeckler Book Tour by nearly a decade. Hope Joad kept some of those shavings from his Spanish leg, Joad Cressbeckler 2020!

We need more Joad Cressbeckler!

@Johnsigl1 @bahremon2170 Touche on the Bowie. Didn't even think about the fact that the knife was a Bowie Knife. My apologies :P

Every sentence Joad expectorates is a conversation in the making.

"we're gonna resort to cuttin" Joad Cressbeckler

America needs Joad Cressbeckler now, more than ever!

@coppurt See the little "CC" by the quality changer? Press it, hit translate audio, pretty good subtitles

BEST 'THE ONION' EVER!!! I LOVE YOU JOAD!!!

"dont let me strum ma washboard we gon resort 2 cuttn"

@ctw005 Niiice!! Some corrections (I think): "Now you could give a man's inside to his butt" = "Now you could give a man's inside to a spud" (nickname 4 'taters) "I don't know if you glue your ears yet" = "I don't know if you grew your ears yet" (more likely in a lab) "Col. James Bully" = "Col. James Bowie" (inventor of the "Bowie" knife he's supposedly holding) Rock on! :)

"...we gonn resort to cuttin!" I didn't understand anything before that!

About 745 of those views are probably me. It's sad more people have never seen this genius.

@shitboxoffroad

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@NimRob28 LMAO! "a deformed child instead of the jungle" I didn't even know about the closed captions. Still no idea what he actually said though.

I can’t believe it took me this long to realize his name is joad not joe.

I will be more wary of the taters from now on. We all thank you for your education message, Joad!

I got me a silver tongue here to explain what these sorcerers are doing to these taters!! Lmao best line

George Riddle, AKA Joad Cressbeckler, passed away in June of this year. Point yer guns skyward and send off one last salute for that wily old coot.

"If you can give a man's insides to a spud, first thing ya gotta do is start bubblin for revenge! Cuz I've done terrible things to taters, like cuttin em, fryin em. You give a tater man's constitution and you can bet he's comin to play old Joad a call!" "Now you listen to me, taters! I dunno if you grew yer ears yet, but if ya did keep this message in em before you come leapin out of Joad's pot, cuz I got my good friend Col. James Boyd right here, same as cut the Chinese"

Now y'all stay close here. Gonna have my jug band back here and if Jasper don't let me strum my warshboard we're gonna resort to CUTTIN'.

@ctw005 Thanks. I couldn't understand the last part. The next one of these had better feature the jug band!

“Got my old friend Colonel James Bowie here, same as cut the Chinese”

The captions took the word spanish and made it into "family fled"

"Tater disease is what brung us Irish" made me rofl.

"Same as cuttin' the Chinese...!" LOL.

KZreads attempt to transcribe the audio: "later man scott to look at you and that is troubling to play all dont call this what"

I really have no idea what they guy says half of the time. Try turning on the CC Transcribe Audio feature, it really has a hard time with this guy.

These Cressbeckler videos are awesome!

Transchibed Audio on this is great

For christ's sake guys, he's from the black hills of North Dakota. You can't expect to understand everything he says, but you know it's pure gold.

i would never miss an episode of this, no matter how often it was on. i would watch it daily. also, sorcerors lol.

SUBTITLES YOURS SINCERELY NEW ZEALAND :P On another note, I love reading the news at the bottome of the screen, it would be extremely obvious to all people aboard an airoplane for suspected terrorists that everyone aboard is quite similar to them in culture and religion.