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@Syndicate888

2 жыл бұрын

Most original video I've seen on the subject of infj's👍 Did you come up with this yourself, or did you share inspiration with another source?

@littlet-rex8839

Жыл бұрын

These were my questions after I found the Personality Type system, I had always reasoned it was a result of my raising. I don't need a label but I'm interested in seeing my way through hang ups that still block progress.

@althompson6114

Жыл бұрын

So the truth about INFJs being one myself we are a little bit born as we are and we are created a little bit as we are we also are known to have a hand in creating ourselves by the way we view the world and the way we have viewed the world our own perceptions help to make us who we are. I've spent plenty of years since I was a small child studying people psychology and the world at Large and my own little world. And I have become the way I am based upon my outward and inward views Plus the reactions from towards and by people. INFJs like I said above are both created and born all in one.

@MegaCyberleader

Жыл бұрын

Most times, I always made the choice.

@scottgallagher5

Жыл бұрын

@@althompson6114 boom. this video hit me hard. But I do believe we're born and created as well. I'm on the cusp of understanding some childhood trauma which I believe have only fueled my INFJ from a young age.

I actually have been thinking this myself for a while. I had a very hard childhood and now as an adult I'm super messed up over it and a very stereotypical INFJ. Before life started socking my lights out though, as a young child, my personality was very different. I was very sassy and outgoing and bold and talkative, then I started having to shrink smaller and smaller to survive. I wonder what I would have been had life been gentler and kinder and more accepting and loving to me.

@koonesuki

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I was thinking about why INFJ is/was seen as a rare type. I had three ideas as to why that may be: a) INFJs blend in with society, so they end up mistyping themselves, b) INTJs slowly transition to being an INFJ once they begun to mature, c) Other personalities have to feel hurt to transition to an INFJ. And yeah, I relate to you regarding your traits as a child. I was thinking that I am an INFP because of the traits you mentioned (apart from being sassy). I still question it until today.

@yoongoongi4349

2 жыл бұрын

@@koonesuki I wonder if I would have been my complete opposite type (ESTP) or my shadow type (ENFP). Maybe I am supposed to be an ENFP but I'm in my shadow. lol I'll never know. I also think the same about your point a. INFJs supposedly are never sure who they really are and they act like those around them so there's prolly a lot more INFJs that don't know it because they're mirroring others.

@thebloomintumors

2 жыл бұрын

Ya... my childhood was hell on an SVU level. I was the bubbly, happy, out going kid until about 6. 30+ years of hiding later...

@vanessamelisa2941

2 жыл бұрын

same here

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!! These are all perfect examples of what we're explaining! Thank you for sparking such an interesting comment convo 🙏

Well, this is certainly an eye-opener. I had imaginary friends when I was little. I think about famous INFJs like Keanu Reeves etc. They all have messed up childhoods and mine was no different. I had a rich inner world as an escape and am empathic because I don't want others to feel like I did. I have to force myself to leave my house and be social. I'm always ready to set boundaries for those who want to take advantage. This was a great video.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!! 🙌

@headeast859

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds exactly like me lol. Same here

@genevievebelanger903

2 жыл бұрын

"I don't want others to feel like I did"... That is exactly what it is! Well said!

@vailble8103

2 жыл бұрын

I had no imaginary friends but I tried to make them. It didn't work. Like I could make them in my mind but I knew they weren't real and were gone as soon as I stopped.

@dalee2419

2 жыл бұрын

Keanu seems more like INFP irl, although he does play more INFJ characters

100% made Trauma at early ages produces INFJ’s.....it’s sad we had to go through hell to be who we are, but it’s a blessing to be an INFJ because we see the real from the bad. Stay strong and live long fellow INFJ’s

@DarkKittyfx

3 ай бұрын

I feel this way too. I’d do it all again if I had to. And we can help open other people’s eyes before they even have to go through stuff. But I also feel it was predestined for us to become this. It was really a matter of time.

@David-xd5qs

2 ай бұрын

I would not choose to go through this again.

INFJ raised by malignant narcissist. As an adult, I actually see it more as a super power. I work on strengthening all the areas I struggle in, which only heightens my healthy INFJ side. I see it as limitless and this definitely motivates me.

@juice_lime5114

2 жыл бұрын

That's when one truly matures. Self awareness becomes the greatest gift and balance becomes the truth. Growth potential of personality becomes limitless and the MBTI sorta becomes less meaningful because we can outgrow the system by developing inferior functions. Had a similar background like yours, quite some grey memories. Maturation is equivalent to an "awakening" for this type in particular. I don't really call myself the type anymore, my own identity is a "colourless yet colourful mirror" in some sense. I just love hanging around and providing insights for others.

@MultiTipsie

2 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@gastonangelini8352

Жыл бұрын

I'm on the awakening part ... And it hurt a little , but I'm hopeful for my future self. I'm gonna focus on my improving my weaknesses and reinforcing my natural traits (like high empathy and feel the energy of others)

@roaringfromthelionofjudah

Жыл бұрын

Same here

It took me a few days to come to terms with this. Because yes, as a child I suffered from being severly bullied, an absent father and a narcissistic mother. I cherish my INFJ traits but it was difficult to accept that they might stem from trauma, not from who I really was as a young child. Then I realised that it doesn't matter. My traumatic past might have made me who I am now, but I consider the INFJ qualities too valuable to want to lose them. As long as I don't forget to nurture myself too, I'm perfectly fine.

@Lyrielonwind

2 жыл бұрын

My narc mother told me I was the first one of 6 siblings to walk by myself and control my pee and poo holes. I didn't know that but I knew that it was because no one was after me or nurturing any need so I had to grow independent at least for my most basics needs as a kid.

@AlejandroMuro0tto

2 жыл бұрын

I can relate. My father was absent and neglected me and my brothers. My mother I didn't trust, she was delusional about the whole family life. She took drugs to overcome depression while we where kids. She was in denial of how bad our family life was. I had to take care of myself early because most exchanges ended with an argument or a fight. I wasn't so scared of the phisical punishment but just the sheer absence of love and understanding. The happiest day of my life was when I left my parents house. The video makes lots of sense to me. All the INFJ traits are a defense sistem developed to avoid further trauma and cure it. I'm studying to be an onthological coach to help people and I'm writing to tell my story so we all can overcome our family background.

@xenarafique8871

2 жыл бұрын

This is my story , narcissistic mother and absent father also he is submissive towards my mother. My childhood was fucked but I am string because of my history

@Lyrielonwind

2 жыл бұрын

@@xenarafique8871 That is a very common truth and a reality that most people don't want to hear or acknowledge because they are either narcissists or they are being abused without being aware of and trauma-bonded. That's another thing; after no contact and gone from all was known and creepy familiar, it seems you need to become an oyster because no one would understand you and if someone does, that would be a covert narcissist or a plain psycho. The problem for people with CPTSD is that we are not used to be liers neither have good memory due to being hyper-vigilant. We are the worst liers. Best wishes.

@ericanorton71

2 жыл бұрын

Absentee father and narcissistic mother and siblings here.... So much childhood abuse it's mind boggling. BUT I love myself. I love my personality traits. All the pain was worth being the woman I am today.

I've tested positive for INFJ over and over and over again. I waited a few years, took the test very recently, and it turns out I'm INFJ... But I've got this personality I call "Stage me" who is outgoing, talkative, energetic, etc. That's the person most people in my life know, not the real me. It's my mask, and it's very convincing. No one gets to see ME except 3 or 4 trusted individuals who earned knowing the real me. The ease with which I switch my stage character on is why I couldn't accept being an INFJ. At the same time, this personality type fits me perfectly. Childhood trauma was intense, we seem to have narcissistic mothers in common as well.

I would say that INFJs were mostly made that way but were born with the potential to be one. In school I was relentlessly bullied and at home I had a father that was angry at me but gentle with my sibling. My awareness of threatening situation was heightened and with a lack of friends I created my own internal world to escape to.

This makes so much sense. I had a horrific childhood. I always had to gauge my mother's mood silently to make it through the day without getting beaten. I automatically do this with everyone now. Thank you, so much, for this video!

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Wow very interesting, a perfect example of observing emotions as a defense mechanism. We're sorry for the hardships yet thank you for sharing 🙌

@traumawarrior7431

2 жыл бұрын

same

@decoy2636

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that you too lived with the angry thunder cloud following you no matter where you were as a child. We didn't get to play care free or I didn't. My father did his sadistic best to beat all my truth and goodness out of me. I'm grateful for my grandmother's love she was the reason for my love of critters. I live with my little dog and we're great roommates. I hope you're blessed with such a loyal friend too. I wish only the best for your future. Peace

@stebarg

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds very familiar. That's why Elon Musk want's his children to go through tough times to become great people. What's the best way to become a great person with the least amount of pain involved?

@jilianemorales2074

2 жыл бұрын

Same here!🙋🏻‍♀️

As an INFJ, I had a very tough childhood. Not only did my parents have a very rocky marriage and were very abusive towards each other and me, I learnt pretty quickly that my mother hated me. It's only now that I've come to understand she's a narcissistic parent, but my entire life (and present) have been spent trying to be whatever she needed. Inconsistent parenting, having to grow up too fast so I could raise my younger siblings, and so much happening at home, this video hits right at home. Thank you for making it.

The moment a child turns into an INFJ is when they learn to welcome the solitude and loneliness of being one

I'm in the camp that I was born as an INFJ, but personality is such a complex subject, and the MBTI is flawed in many ways, so it's entirely possible that some people develop INFJ traits later in life due to their childhood. My childhood was not traumatic at all and - while I was bullied a little bit - it was Because I was different, closed off and odd; the bullying came After the oddness. Here are some traits I had as a child that I was told about later: My parents told me that I hardly reacted if someone took my toy away when I was very little (like 1, 2 y.o.) and I remember always caring more about others than myself. I was an "old soul" that started talking like the adults very early, and I barely ever got angry, and the one time I had a "tantrum", I looked at my mom afterwards and was like "Mom... I got angry!". At the same time I was very sensitive, and would cry if someone raised their voice and I was scared of doing anythinga and everything. I imagined these horrible scenarios everywhere I went and tried to avoid future catastrophes by being as safe as possible. I would literally make myself feel bad, by imagining future, theoretical or possible scenarios, completely disconnected from the "real world". The movie Iron Giant made me cry my eyes out for like half an hour, and my parents couldn't figure out why it took me so long to recover, and I couldn't explain the feelings I was experiencing. It was such a whirlpool of emotions that I couldn't pin down, and it's only later in life that I've been able to put those feelings into words, and understand what I was feeling. But Like I said, it's probably different for each individual, though I personally don't think your "type" changes.

@genevab.5316

2 жыл бұрын

I accidentally backed up your entire childhood with a very similar comment about my own. Also "born this way". Cheers.

@JokerCrowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@genevab.5316 Thanks! I read your comment and I do agree with a lot of what you said. I think it's a misrepresentation to put INFJ in the same category as personality Disorders caused by trauma, like BPD and sociopathy. INFJs are human, and any human can go through Trauma, and while I'm sure there are INFJs with BPD - they are completely different things. Plus, like you put it, it opens up more questions: If I became an INFJ because of trauma, what kind of Childhood would make me an INTP, or ENTP or ISFP? Personally I believe that the Cognitive functions are ones we are born with; the stack doesn't change over our lives, we are always the same "type". However, as we grow up, we open ourselves up and repress different aspects of our "stack" depending on what happens to us. I've met at least 3 other (confirmed) INFJs in my life, and while we have similar ways of thinking in general, and we "vibe" together, we've had Very different backgrounds and ways of seeing and interacting with the world. Not to drone on too long, but one of them is a vegan and Christian who doesn't drink alcohol, but *does* engage in casual sex. While the other basically never eats vegetables, drinks alcohol frequently and does not like to be touched at all, even by people in their family. I don't know of any trauma in their childhood but they are 100% INFJs.

@jillianhutchins8393

2 жыл бұрын

Its crazy, I resonate with your childhood more than my own. Also I agree that I was born and INFJ, but I had experiences that definitely contributed, and intensified some specific traits. For example, I still shut down when i sense any type of conflict, but it seems to have stemmed mostly form my older sibling fighting often and raising his voice at my parents. These fights happened constantly and I remember always getting very stressed, and would do anything for anyone to make it stop. This is a trait along with many others of INFJ, but if these events didn't happen in my younger years, I would still definitely have this trait, just not as severe.

@genevab.5316

2 жыл бұрын

@@jillianhutchins8393 Exactly. And something like that happens in a ton of families, we just react a certain way. It's hard being the best and that's a burden we're just going to have to bear. LOL :)

@kevinlawson830

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. I didn't have a traumatic childhood. However, I had the exact same personality as you. I was an old soul, felt tremendous empathy toward others, was willing to give up my toys or whatever if it made others happy.

I believe that this is complicated. So, I think it can be both. Looking back on my childhood, I see many INFJ traits. I believe that I was born this way. I certainly had a traumatic childhood. However, I can remember INFJ traits before things became terrible. But I certainly can see how events shape people.

@sidlopez4599

Жыл бұрын

Yeah , I would agree with that , it’s both. Good synopsis.

@ResonantNewt

Жыл бұрын

Personality is also an enviromental thing

@savedbytheplants

Жыл бұрын

Same here

@Chechy93

Жыл бұрын

Same, I had a nice childhood and I was so INFJ since I was a little girl hehe

I think we are born that way..and life adds more lessons to .i was in a war zone as a child.and had a hard time.and life showed me the value of peopel and being kind..i cant pass a homeless person without helping out ,even if it means i go without.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Love it, thanks for sharing your perspective 🙌

@ramseyabou-shaqra9527

2 жыл бұрын

@@serenitysmith352 i know what you mean..every person is different.but i put myself in a homeless persons shoes and they must feel so invisabel to everyone.and only takes one person to make them feel good.and makes me feel amazing inside.so win win.

@ramseyabou-shaqra9527

2 жыл бұрын

@@serenitysmith352 thank you.means alot

@MultiTipsie

2 жыл бұрын

@@ramseyabou-shaqra9527 Same here! I life near Amsterdam and really like to go there and observe people, but sometimes when my mood is off, i really don't want to go to Amsterdam, because before i'm at the end off any street in the center i feel so sad and depressed by meeting all this homeless guys and junkies i my brain is almost short circuiting! On other days i try as much as i can to have physical money with me to give away or i buy something for them with my bankcard and redraw extra money so they at least have some food and drinks or money to spend the night in a "hotel" of the salvation Army. If everybody would give the homeless a euro or other local currency in those towns, there wouldn't have to be homeless people i think. Except for some psychiatric people who insist on wanting a homeless life.

I was already born as INFJ, i had no trauma beeing a child. I have always been indipendent old soul, more mature then other children in my age but very sensitive. My parents needed to check well what books or films i could watch. I think my father was HSP and i took a lot from him.

@BeautifullyAwakened83

2 жыл бұрын

I never had any childhood trauma either. Both of my parents were good parents. I think I was born with it. I’m definitely one though.

@amy9964

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@life_lab_chronicles

2 жыл бұрын

Same. No childhood trauma. Legit INFJ.

@HansenFT

Жыл бұрын

@@BeautifullyAwakened83 well, trauma is rarely remembered during first few years. And trauma is by definition not events, but the inner respons to events. Also doesnt have to be parents involved. If they were they certainly don't have to have meant it, or be cruel people. Imperfect parents + sensitive child is likely enough. Not to say you had any. You may be one the few outliers amongst all people and types who had literally zero trauma. But saying that so confidently makes me wonder, I have to admit. I mean birth alone are considered traumatic by developmental psychologists. Its very common to not know about it. Especially since complex trauma is widely not known about, and is almost never caused by drastic and memorable events. Stressed out, but well-meaning parent's In early life would likely be enough. I was 30 when it dawned upon me, and I avoided analysing childhood completely due to loyalty, until certain events took place. Now I find it shocking actually, some of the things that went on. But it was covert, sneaky, indirect most of the time. But constant.

I think we are born with Ni and Fe on hyper drive, this makes us more LIKELY to respond deeply to negative experiences; i mean, almost EVERYBODY has some childhood trauma, there is no perfect childhood, but INFJ are more likely to remember them deeply

I'm voting for a special mix of both nurture and nature.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Cheers! 👏

Born. I have memories before the traumas and was quite an INFJ as a young girl. Taught myself to read, a very easy baby, taught my sister to read and protected her my youth. I think i experienced traumas deeper than my younger sister who is an enfp and does not have cptsd. We experienced same traumas until I left home at 19.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Comparing to sibling with similar upbringings is always a point of reflection that brings up even more questions.. I don't think we'll ever know for sure. Thanks for sharing your expereinces!

@SterrenmassageNl

2 жыл бұрын

Born, definitely, how do I know? Well, I just do 😉🤣

@maaiker2977

2 жыл бұрын

I think its a little of both. Its how our brains work. We have a predisposition for it and life made us develop it further. Like the gym bodies...partly genetics partly hours in the gym. Born: * goal oriented think outside of the box and selfreliant. I never crawled as a baby. I remember going from sitting to standing holding onto and using the table to learn to walk. I was a stubborn little kid...hihi still am. * Empathy, a desire to help, Emotional intelligence but introvertion: I remember being 4 years old...very popular and seeing a little girl cry by herself. I didn't want all the kids bugging me but I wanted to make the crying child happy. I knew she was sad cause noone wanted to play with her....so I played with her knowing all the other kids would than play with her cause they wanted to play with me. After a little bit I retreated from the playground watching that little girl laugh and play with the others. It was my first deed I could remember but I knew that was what I wanted to do in life. It is what i am good at. To see people, to anticipate emotional responses and the desire to want to help people. Created: * I remember being afraid and wishing someone would help me....anyone...that would have been so valuable to me. The cavalry didn't come and I survived on my own. But I realised I want to be that person for someone. Someone fighting alone wishing someone would help...I wanna be the person who comes to help. Its a valuable use of my time on this earth. It made me very independent / self reliant thou.

@nobel7216

2 жыл бұрын

@@maaiker2977 felt like I was reading about me 🥺❤️

@MQCKBA

Жыл бұрын

I remember myself in a daycare with my older sister. I was 4 years old. She is 1 year older than me. She was always sensitive to everything and cried pretty often. I remember how I felt about her. I always wanted to protect her and care about her. One time I was fighting with a boy because he pushed her and she started to cry, the other day our care giver made us to finish our lunch with the words "If you leave something on your plate you can't go anywhere" that day they gave us fried potato. Some potato pieces where burned to char and bitter because of that. Not all of it but some of them. My sister started to cry because she could not eat up all she had on her plate. I could not finish mine too but could not watch her in tears and voluntarily ate all burned pieces from her plate even it was awful, l still remember that bitter taste of burned potato it was difficult to swallow. I think I was born with this care and empathy traits. I was only 4 y.o. but I was more mature than her. And yes, my childhood was far from perfect also.

I believe up until my high school years, I was closer to a INTJ personality, having to deal with the loss of my father followed by intensive bullying changed me greatly. I decided from about 7th grade that I was no one's punching bag and devoted my high intellect (at that time I tested in the low 130s for IQ, it's now consistently 140s) to learn to "read" people. By the time I entered 9th grade, few people could hide their true intent from me. It was during that year that I gave up on fitting in socially ever again, and decided to stand tall in my beliefs. Test me at your own peril, for I refuse to lose.

I am the "lost child" and wonder how many other INFJs may be also. The Lost Child knows they are unwanted while in the womb and as a result continue to feel unwanted as a child. Before my conception my mother was overwhelmed with domestic violence and did not need another burden (baby). I spent my childhood "reading" my father so I could stay out of his way. The domestic violence continued until I was a teenager when my parents divorced. .......Today I am 72 and I believe I am well adjusted. I recently got married for the first time to a wonderful man. Life is good.

I feel Im a result of a childhood trauma

@rebellade9649

2 жыл бұрын

Me to

Made. When I was a child I experienced very serious trauma and I think my personality development was a result of coping/managing with the trauma. Regardless I can say I wouldn't want to be any other way. Whatever being INFJ is, I see it as a gift more so than a curse.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Very interesting, that's exactly it, whether it's trauma or not, the INFJ comes with incredible gifts to bear. 🙏

@gilbrook

2 жыл бұрын

@@PSYCH-O Interesting - nature or nurture. What about MBTI dreams?

The nature-versus-nurture debate. I related to this so much. I was raised in an abusive household and I was forced into a cult. People were very cruel to me when I was growing up. It was quite a ride. My grandmother was the one who cared for me and taught me how to be a good person. I learned so much from her. I miss her dearly. If you live in an abusive household, please get help. It is no way to live. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

@rileyvaldis7657

Жыл бұрын

Love ♡

As an INFJ, I've often wondered about this exact question. I truly think it's "both", but also feel pretty certain that without a certain amount and "type" of childhood trauma, the INFJ would be "unlikely". I agree with a number of the "hypothetical theories" in this video...but some of them....at least for me....I can say are "off the mark"....such as the "escapism" theory. If anything, I'm am committed to having my eyes open to truth/reality beyond all else because we can't get where we want without a clear understanding of where we're starting from. I do imagine what I'd like to see in the world. because it's also true that we can't get where we want without first imagining it. None of this has to do with "escaping" reality for me...it has to do with the desire to "improve reality", and also knowing that I play a part in the unfolding of it.

Born. I remember self-awareness and talking to myself around 4. I would play dream of a world all to myself

@ahhwe-any7434

2 ай бұрын

Idk where exactly infj sigma wever platform etc, but if I let the toxic part of the internet really guide me, it'd have me feeling like I was just oh so rejected. I could tell u all the xs I didn't & id be hated more than I already am... but like not sure what part of my personality did they see seeks validation. But I am insecure like alotta ppl. Idc what style, route ppl front. I'm just not ignorant to believe that ppl r immune to like being FN humans, flawed. Im just not the type to spread my misery, yw. Id like to focus on myself before I think about other ppls messes. Now if u don't mind...I hafta go live my Own. Like simply & kindly, EXIT!! Respectfully

Either way, we are clay in the hand of the Potter from start to finish.

@notthatvashti8127

2 жыл бұрын

True. We all originate from the Sovereign one, but where we go from there is up to us. There are so many twists and turns. That's the whole mystery of life; where and how will we end up.

@stevewolff880

2 жыл бұрын

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:16

I hadn't realized this was a debate until this video but have often asked myself the same questions when alone with my thoughts. I've drawn the conclusion that The INFJ personality type is born from outside stimuli mostly because so much of our needs can only be met from outside of ourselves as is often brought up in these fantastically put together videos with this example being no different. The clincher for me is the fact that the majority of actual INFJ persons that I've known including myself, tend to exhibit traits from other personality types; most commonly when in a good place in their inner and outer lives. I believe this is our born-in personality peaking out of the INFJ's protective shell when it's safest to do so. This isn't to say that every person that goes through trauma or some other life event early on will become an INFJ, there are myriad of other outcomes ranging from no personality change at all to attachment disorders/etc. There are too many variables when it comes to human development on all levels to know for sure which is what makes it such a fun playground for the inner living souls to explore and share from. I also don't discount the possibility of someone being born an INFJ, I just haven't ever met a true INFJ that didn't also come from a background of trauma or similar circumstance.. A background and personal reality that is tragically commonplace in this timeline.

@gilbrook

2 жыл бұрын

Well expressed.

@danika9411

2 жыл бұрын

Malignant narcissistic foster mother. Also experienced childhood s****l abuse. When I manage to be my dissociated, not traumatized self, I test as ENFP. I basically tried to live life as if nothing bad happened. If I don't do that, I test as INFJ. I'm in therapy right now to integrate the sa. The more it gets integrated, the more I feel I loose myself and my childlike outlook for the world. It's almost as if I have 2 aspects of myself, but I can't tell which is the original one and which is because of trauma.

@P0tH3ADPUNK

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully written sir.

we are made i am and always have been the black sheep thankyou

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

And proudly so! Thank you for watching 🙌

@andy1971williams

2 жыл бұрын

@@PSYCH-O wouldn't have it any other way, i am who i am because of it.

I honestly think it's a little of both, the genes matter a bit and the upraising is what hammers it in. I suspect my dad may be an INFJ as well. I also vividly remember being a child and feeling as if I were constantly misunderstood, as is tradition the words are hard so lets go with, or my level of perception/understanding was always underestimated and I had my hand held along the way at times. Other times the disconnect of not feeling a part of this world required the hand holding. For as long as I can remember I've sought to learn about the world and connect with others and despite my best efforts it's all so damn easy and equally as hard all at once. There is you and there is me, both in this world. For some reason my consciousness only wants to tune in to two at a time, but in some moments with the right people everything becomes one. I wouldn't have it any other way. Afterthought; it's odd how hard of a time we have with words when our minds are full of such deep intricacies of what's around us. It feels like we're talking about step three when people expect you to start with step one.

@annaandrea8320

2 жыл бұрын

I somehow doubt that your father may be an INFJ if you felt misunderstood as a child.

@dallasbohananc6343

2 жыл бұрын

@@annaandrea8320 good observation

@elliottcobain6563

2 жыл бұрын

We have a good time with words, some of you just haven't wrote as much and overthink being creative. Because we have a buffet draw from, a lot to say and drag from the Ni subconscious it takes time and redrafts.

@SqueekyPepper

2 жыл бұрын

It is both imo. What occurs is this [my theory] Any personality type is born with certain talents and/or gifts at their disposal. Trauma or overwhelm, etc. will cause the individual to take the path of least resistance. In other words, the individual experiences trauma and the innate personality copes with it, thus strengthening whatever attributes the individual was born with. It's a natural progression. Any person will use whatever skills they possess to deal with trauma. This is the easiest path for all of us to travel, especial as a child and most likely alone with the trauma. I had a terrible childhood, and my coping method, when I could use it, was to go to my room and read. Thus, reinforcing the INFJ in me to develop an exaggerated need to be alone, and reading sparked my imagination about other lives, etc. But, while the trauma was the trigger, the need to be alone and be in my internal world was already part of me. The trauma merely pushed me harder in that direction.

Drama triggers my emotion.then I lose days off my time.like being lost.sometimes never remembering my direct path and just start new paths

Why do we need a background music for everything. It's quite annoying, can't really focus on what's said. An INFJ here.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the feedback 😌

bit of both, my child hood has a lot more weight than other kids, now im older I understand this, not in a bad or good way but the way

While I was born an INFJ, but I certainly believe that my childhood played a part in my severe introversion...

Wow… as an INFJ who endured a lot of childhood and even adulthood trauma, this is scarily accurate ..

Never felt so attacked in my life 😂😂 Amazing vid! Well, I'll just go have an existential crisis in the corner if anyone wants to join

i have been bullied from kinder to 12th grade (Bad) // plus as 1 of 8 brothers me being in the middle i was bullied at home as well // Animals were my only true friends and self reliance was needed to survive // i never liked meating new people because i saw past there fakeness and would always be put down for differant thinking or not being able to say what i thought //// SOOO YES MADE!

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your personal experience, I definitely think there's a correlation for some INFJs 🙏

It’s some life experience but it’s the sensitivity that makes trauma more traumatic and with big imagination and curiosity they look at things a bit deeper

Wow! This was way more deep than I am used to. My opinion is that there is a large nature component as most children and adults wouldn't even think of things that cause an INFJ stress or happiness. But with that, either circumstances or our reactions to circumstances reinforce the natural tendency. Although I see that childhood experiences impact personality, the INFJ is an odd duck. Most people given the same circumstances in childhood would react differently than a child who is already leaning in the iNFJ direction.

These theories actually I found true ones . There's a one thing what I'd like to know : Why Infj are unable forgive themselves? And if there's anything that can be done to change it to make life for infj easier and more bearable ?

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

I think as time goes on, INFJs eventually realize that their so-called 'short comings' and 'failures' are actually their biggest lessons. Some of the main turning points in an INFJs life can be traced back to these 'unforgivable' experiences, and they were absolutely meant to happen. 🙏

@kathyborthwick6738

2 жыл бұрын

As you get older, you might change some of your preferences to become a Sigma INFJ- Helped me overcome such!

@rileyvaldis7657

Жыл бұрын

Love and light better experiences

As an infj This just makes sense for me ridiculously 😧

Both probably and spiritual aspect

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agreed, there's definitely a spiritual aspect to the equation.

I am sure some are out of trauma but I was definitely born like this. My parents were awesome, home was secure, and my empathy was high super early on. My mom was grieving when I was in her womb and I often wonder if that impacted being INFJ but I cried for worms that looked hurt, I cried for people on TV, I cried for a tree when kids pulled the bark off of it and I visited the tree every day to say I was sorry on behalf of humans and that we are not all like that. I quickly knew which people to act more adult around in a more formal way, I studied people a lot and people very early on was creeped out by my INFJ stare. I also was called old soul a lot and I preferred listening to adult conversations over playing with kids my own age because I craved learning from people that knew more than I. I also always preferred animals over people right from toddlerhood and already at ~1 years old I was quite fine with being left alone for short moments with a shoe or a toy without anxiousness. I was always a very quiet and calm kid as well and very deep thoughts and big questions. Growing up I preferred fact books over story books and documentaries over cartoons. I've always been hungry to learn and observe.

I believe it is a combination of something we are born with and a difficult childhood. Out of 6 children born to a narcissist dad and a multiple personality mom, 2 of us are INFJs. Something we are born with definitely affects how we respond to life and lifes traumas develop these traits and refine them. I have a grandson who has only been in a loving environment but he is highly intuative, an old soul, extremely intelligent, very compassionate, thinks of others natually before himself, peace loving and hates conflict. He was totally born this way.

Originally from a big family I don't believe we have only learned these skills because no one else from my siblings is an INFJ.

Great video! I had a traumatic childhood, but I was definitely born an INFJ. I exhibited all INFJ traits in early childhood before my trauma began taking a toll. My parents and grandmother often referred to me as the family peacemaker. I was overly kind, extremely helpful, very sensitive, quiet, non confrontational, a people pleaser, etc. Although I was quiet overall, I enjoyed talking to others and making them feel comfortable. I remember this about myself before the age of 6. Unfortunately due to family trauma, I developed social anxiety during childhood. The social anxiety began to fester around the age of 6. It was full blown at 8 years old. I developed an intense/irrational fear of talking to people. Panic attacks nearly everyday in school. For myself, the social anxiety is a result of my trauma and my INFJ personality did not stem from my trauma. Many many years later, I was able to identify the social anxiety and work towards reversing it. It took me years to overcome it, but I finally did 20+years later. I’m now 31! I’m also a licensed mental health therapist :) INFJ-A Sending love to all the INFJ’s!!💛

@HansenFT

Жыл бұрын

Many would say it's neglect that they didn't see it and help you overcome it much earlier, in it itself. Neglect, often unknowingly, will lead to trauma, whether or not you remember it, or understood it. Don't think understanding and recognizing and remembering emotional neglect, coldness, lack of love is common amongst 0-4 year olds either. Doesn't mean you had any trauma though. Although zero trauma whatsoever is almost unheard of according to developmental psychologist. Stressed and anxious mother f.x is likely enough. Doesn't have to be any ill will.

Little bit of both, my mother had me tested, thought i had brain damage. I never cried as a baby, i just looked around and starred at the walls. Guess i still do that 30 years later. Lots of dysfunction, choas, family services as a child. All the choas molded me into who i am today and im gratefull for my struggles in life. Pain creates wisdom

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

You are very right.. pain does induce wisdoms that you can't find elsewhere. 🙏

@ahhwe-any7434

2 ай бұрын

I was a "good baby."

Although I did in fact have a traumatic childhood, I am convinced I was born as an INFJ. One of my main reasons for thinking this is the case would be the fact that a lot of my "problems" as a child stems from me being an INFJ. It's not really a chicken and egg situation. I was very aware from as far back as I can remember that I was different to the rest of my family. And I was also very much aware of just how much it frustrated and irritated my parents (and a lot of other people as well). The INFJ was always very clearly manifested, even as a small child. And even before trauma became part of my life. I DO believe that some parts of the INFJ's mentality can be "enhanced", if you will, because of trauma. It can also be ruined or corrupted, twisted into something unhealthy or amplified in a way that becomes more like a handicap. But the base material was there all along I think. Not unlike schizophrenia. No, INFJ is NOT a mental illness. Not what I am getting at at all. Just saying, that like schizophrenia, it takes a traumatic event or an unbearable amount of stress for something that was there all along to rise to the surface. Maybe that is what happens with some INFJ traits when trauma or stress gets beyond what we are capable of handling. The darker sides and/or the "overly sensitive" sides of the INFJ personality becomes dominant in a way they weren't suppose to. And as a result, the INFJ will act accordingly. Much like the video here describes. But I don't think a natural born ISTJ could turn into an INFJ because of childhood trauma. They would still be a traumatized ISTJ! And even though they seem to be a bit rare, healthy INFJ's do exist ;-) Sorry, English is not my best language. And that is probably a very INFJ thing to feel self-conscious about XD

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

So interesting!! Many INFJs have said they believe they exhibited traits from early on in childhood, so this doesn't come as a surprise. And than that traumatic event triggers the realization and self discovery journey of those traits later in life. Thanks for sharing your experience!

@JFairhart

2 жыл бұрын

My experience is similar. Earliest memories of being a toddler feeling INFJ personality traits. The way family and others treated me confirms this. Trauma and narcissistic parents cause issues for everyone. It’s the way an INFJ responds to those influences that is unique; not the other way around.

@jasbadsirron6424

2 жыл бұрын

Best comment in here. You Can always tell when someone is a real one - because 90% of 'INFJs' aren't, but love to think they are for the attention and special status it gives them (or excuses it gives them for certain behaviours).

@blinkriffia5545

2 жыл бұрын

Same experience. I second this.

This is the first INFJ video that I feel is spot-on! Yes, I feel childhood and adult trauma has created me as an INFJ. Add my Autism to this and things get super tough for me! This video shows true insight into my constant struggles. I appreciate it! I do think there are also other factors that make an INFJ as well, but I think trauma "seals it!"

Hmmm not sure how to structure my thoughts but; when i was a child i was both senstive and insensitive, bully and victim. I was never one thing, always a theme of duality following me around. I think i noticed that pattern since i was very young, it lead me to having some emotional breakdowns over who I am and what is it that I want to do with my life. I resolved that question by telling myself that there is no need for me to truly know my self just yet for I am still young and I still have much more to explore and that i must also be aware of others peoples true intentions.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Beautiful realization, I think everyone goes through somewhat of an identity crisis such as that in certain growth periods in life. However, the aspect of contradictory traits is so relatable for most INFJ types, so maybe you really were born that way! Thank you for your comment 🙌

This is a tough one… I was always very sensitive as a child and didn’t like playing with other children my own age when I was younger. I was always the silent thinking kid, liked playing alone, hated playing soccer that all the other boys loved, couldn’t stand loud sounds etc. I Idid experience trauma being bullied out an elementry school at age 8 and losing my mother at age 11, but I have a lot of memories of not really fitting in from way before that. (And I had a very loving family around me that really cared and looked after each other.) I would never fight back and when I got in a fight and had to kick back I just couldn’t get any force behind my kicks or punches because I didn’t want to hurt others or myself. My parents were quite desperate that I wouldn’t stand up for myself while I just always thought ‘If they don’t want me, fine. I don’t need them. Just leave me alone.’ I don’t know if that is because I was born INFJ, or that I might have been an HSP (that’s never been officially diagnosed by the way, but I recognize almost all HSP characteristics in myself) that was later traumatized which led to an INFJ personality. (I wasn’t really into psychology and personality at that age 😂) So, born or made? Interesting question. I really don’t know…😅 It would be interesting to do research to see if in the INFJ population are more traumatized HSP’s then in other personality types.

@mirfangu

Жыл бұрын

and im sorry for my poor english.

After testing as an infj, three times, I have watched probably close to 100 videos about the subject. And this was my favorite so far. Great job. Some things to think about for sure.

Personally, I think it's a genetic phenomenon. It's a survival skill that we are born with. Most of us have troubles in our childhood that may enhance certain aspects of our abilities but without the genetic brain wiring, we wouldn't be capable of doing all the things we can. I have been an INFJ all my life. As young as 5 or 6 I could read people even though I didn't fully understand. I definitely could intuit what people were all about. It took me years to realize not everyone could read people as I did. Because I thought everyone could read me the way I easily read them, I believe this had a psychological effect on me and made me shy and reserved because I didn't want everyone to know my secrets! By the time I started high school I realized I was doing something no one else could do so I started coming out of my shell and developed great social skills.

@tommyprosser9416

2 жыл бұрын

❤

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

"Because I thought everyone could read me the way I easily read them, I believe this had a psychological effect on me and made me shy and reserved because I didn't want everyone to know my secrets!" 💯 Well said, my friend!

@ronmccallum8169

2 жыл бұрын

@@issalamireadytoeat1916 I'm 62 so I've had a lot of time to work out my strategies to maintain my mental health. I follow the philosophy of Stoicism. There are only two choices available when we are worrying about our problems in life. Is the problem something we have control over? If so do what you need to do inorder to resolve the problem. If it's something totally out of our control, then forget about it, because there is nothing that can be done. Worrying about it is a complete waste of time and it will suck the life out of you. So you may be wondering what this has to do with your family and friends wanting you to open up about your feelings? It has everything to do with it. You cannot change who you are. If people are asking you to change your personality, there is absolutely no way or reason to do this. So don't dwell on it and worry about it because you just can't do it. They either care enough about you to accept you the way you are or risk losing their relationship with you. Your number one priority in life must be to maintain your own happiness and therefore your sanity. When we are happy and feeling good about life, we are more likely to come out of hiding and spend it with the one's we love.

As am I N FJ, I’ve asked and checked off the list. Great video. Thank you 🙏

Well this is something I vacillate between often. I’m so pleased I’m not the only one and even more pleased that this video was produced addressing it. Thank you🥰

I've had a traumatic childhood or more accurately a child without a childhood as born into poverty and different from birth. Doctors assumed I wouldn't be able to walk let along run well as my feet didn't fully develop, left less so than the right and wore casts the 1st year on account of my legs were bowed. Dad left us when I was 2yrs leaving ma with sis and I to support. We more or less raised ourselves. Ma wasn't a good judge of character and unfortunately left us with those kinds of characters when she got the urge to go out. School was torture for me as I had a hard time relating with classmates. I'd sit to myself usually in the farthest corner staring out the window. At 8yrs of age I got hit in the face by a car in 1979. I went through surgery to remove a front tooth lodged up towards the forehead. Didn't do much to help my self esteem being either bullied, pranked, framed and ridiculed. Ma had a boyfriend who was OK when he was sober however was a gamble going home from school as ma worked. So then I'd wandered the streets til she came home from work. Got good at shoplifting during this time as when I got hungry I didn't want to chance that he was drunk and foul drunk at that. What's considered nightmares for most are dreams to me. Intentionally lost myself in drunken drugged induced bliss so as not to feel nothing until I had a bad trip causing me to leave state in shame but not before I quit school at 16. Hitched down to Florida from there took a jet to California after awhile living in Arizona and eventually back to Ohio. Within these times met and lived with various kinds of questionable people in which good church going citizens wouldn't be seen associating with however I was as I didn't mind living on the edge and teasing death as I've also attempted in Florida. Stay alert, stay alive as times a killer for lost and found alike. To be able to step in a room now and not be moved by the atmosphere's mood speaks volumes as to how I've come a ways. Wasn't expecting to live past 30. I've come to the realization I was meant to endure these hardships that I am no stranger to obstacles and how best to overcome under pressures.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Wow.. that sounded like a movie plot. Crazy expereinces some of us have been through, thank you for sharing 🙌

@TeriHargraveartist

2 жыл бұрын

What a survivor you are!

@MultiTipsie

2 жыл бұрын

I don't belief in GOD, but Amen! I hope the tides will turn for you and life will be more positive for you from each day on now!

Always A Helpful Video For This ENTP For His INFJ Woman. You’re Making Our relationship So Much Deeper With Your Insight. God Bless You And Your Channel.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, that's so nice to hear! 😊

Made, no one is born with a personality, it's a social construction based on life experiences, that's why your personality type is prone to change as you grow up and mature

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Interesting perspective! 😌

@derealratos6332

2 жыл бұрын

You are born with a personality and social norms influence it. It's science

@sebaseduardo16

2 жыл бұрын

@@serenitysmith352 When someone lives all his life in a hostile environment, that person will think that that is the right way of doing things, that explains why so many people repeat violent tendencies from they parent, because that's how they grew up But, when that person understands that something is not right, and gets the tools to deconstruct they behaviour, they can adapt to new things from a different perspective That's why love cannot be explained, you learned it from your parents or parental figures Is not an easy process but therapy can help a lot through it

@sebaseduardo16

2 жыл бұрын

@@serenitysmith352 Dude, that's exactly what I'm telling you, some people want to break that violence circle and some other will be so immerse in it they don't even realize I'm from South America, I'm used violence in my city, that doesn't means I'm neither my parents are violent, but I saw cases first hand where violence is glorified What I'm trying to say is that our personality is product of our experiences, relationship and environment, and, as long as you are aware of your behaviour, you can deconstruct that and change

Like most things, it's probably a little of both, but as an INFJ, I would lean more towards the "born". From what I've experienced and remember about my life, I think the trauma came because I didn't fit in, not the other way around, so I suppose for an INFJ (at least one like me), the world acts as a reinforcement to already natural tendencies. My siblings would have experienced similar traumas, but I don't think they are all INFJ. Our personalities affected how we perceived certain experiences.

Before I learned my Myers Briggs personality type I had attributed a lot of my weirdness to the same exact things you had mentioned here. Abandoned at age 11 and in a childrens home until 16 I had to grow up pretty quick. Out on my own at 17 I had to become very self reliant. I've never had any support from anyone so taking care of myself and learning to be happy on my own by escaping reality either in my own head, a book or watching TV was something I had to learn early on. When you spend a lot of time alone you do end up becoming more observant and learning a lot because nobody is paying attention to you so you learn a lot about human behaviour and life in general. Learning was a way to keep our minds engaged when we lacked stimulating conversation with others. Because I've lived with a lot of deep inner pain myself I absolutley hate the thought of anyone else having to go through it so I empathise deeply and try my best to help because I know exactky how bad it feels. So yeah I'd say it's very plausable that we could be trauma made.

This video is very close to what I beleive about myself, my story and my life. A belief is not a scientific proof, and such questions are indeed very complex. In my opinion every personnality type is the result of some kind of childhood trauma. Without it we would not have a personnality! That said, every INFJ should try to explore deeply how and why they became an INFJ. The journey is worthwhile. Maybe the videos on INFJ are so popular because INFJs love to explore themselves to such deep levels which might not be the case of other types.

Best video on the INFJ on KZread. I am an INFJ and have done nearly 6 years of depth analysis and have also linked all my “traits” to trauma. I think we are actually extroverts with an anxious of disorganised attachment style. All the INFJ ‘specialness’ people associate with has also been linked with being brought up by a narcissistic parent. I think all 16 types are different defence mechanisms developed in the first 5 years of life. Great insight!

@PSYCH-O

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the kind appreciation and personal insight. So glad it resonated 🙌

Each point struck home and resonated with me. I think it’s a combination of all of these points.

A little contribution starting from the last one. I have childhood memories that spans to a very early age (like 1 yo or so). As long as I can remember, the "people-pleasing" part is hardwired in the DNA. For me it was so much that, as a kid, I was little-lying a lot. With maturity, I vowed myself not to use "white lies" anymore, even if it pisses anyone off. I unlocked great potential when I started doing that, from 16~17 yo. Not wasting internal resources "people-pleasing" makes the young INFJ very powerful on all other fronts, because it allows Ni to run free. You don't have to think of what truth to tell certain people, as they already know the right one. Someone can't handle candor, so be it. If anything, I'd suggest any INFJ to do that. You will feel so much better.

Why not both? Some of this video applies to me, but I'll never forget my dad saying that he seemed to always be thinking 20 or more years ahead. He was warning me about the end of US Democracy about 40 years ago... But, now that I think of it, he lived through the London Blitz so maybe that was his trauma and I had my own difficulties (nowhere near as bad!)

@Lyrielonwind

2 жыл бұрын

History repeats chapters; I understand your father's opinion and I think USA might face civil war because the Republicans are using the same methods that Goebbels (most of the conservatives parties are doing the same all over the world) did. Your father's fears were that History would be repeated and his fears are legitimate because most humans don't understand that if times changes, human nature doesn't and you will find people who don't care about History and think that is useless. Whatever happened once can happens again.

I'm star struck. This video is so true. You took the words right out of my mouth.

A very insightful and thought provoking video! All of the hypotheticals raised are very accurate, speaking as an INFJ raised with childhood DV. When I was much younger I used to test as an INFP but have had a strong J for many years now, and it makes me wonder if increased influence of DV has made particular traits develop or perhaps just become more apparent. What was initially INFP could have just been masking the highly sensitive nature of the INFJ as well. Very fascinating to think about and ponder on. Thank you.

All of the above!!! EMDR therapy has helped me a lot!! Still though good luck cracking me open.

I have always wondered why ppl of most other MBTI seem to take life much more light-hearted than me, how they could enjoy life that much, how could I be more "funny" and happy and not constantly seeing life as a bunch of obligations to be fulfilled...etc. I read somewhere on the internet that INFJs tend to have some kinda tragic past that made them to develop their personalities along the way they grew up as INFJs. It's relieved to see your videos here with full explanation on the root and cause of this particular personality. I haven't came to terms with my childhood trauma since it's like a perpetual nightmare that still crushing my soul over and over again each day, reminding me how weak and painful I used to be in all my childhood. Grasping and appreciating my identity seem like an impossible goal, I always feel like I have no existence on this earth no matter how success I gathered or how fabulous I show on the outside. And I'm an INFJ. Thank you for your video.

Very enlightening & thought provoking. Thank you.

Or imagination could be my way of compensating for the lack of authenticity, altruism, etc as our personality type is rare. I didn’t know about my personality type until late last year but I’ve been wondering what kind of person I am. And I agree that INFJs are made. Hard living circumstances cause us to want to adapt, cope and be ready for the next drama to occur. Thank you

Thank you @PSYCH-O psychology for making all the INFJ videos for us, thanks a lot man❤️☺️ More power to you

Thank you, I’ve been looking for this kind of information for a long time. I have by far been the most difficult person that I’ve tried to figure out.

Wow, these videos are so entertaining. I'm so glad I found them, I've been learning so much! 😊

Hi there, What a interesting hypothesis! I never reacted so much on anything but with your video's i constantly feel the need to. Also i have never been so distracted constantly by everything that is mentioned in the video'. Every few seconds i go back in my head to process the information and compare it with experiences, insights of myself and thoughts, so instead of the regular 7 to 10 minutes per video they consume on average more then a half an hour to go through. I'm very curious about other peoples reactions here to, but to stay neutral and place my own thoughts i will react first before reading on. My opinion is that, as with most things in life my first thoughts are of a combination of both, forged together with a set of preborn existing personality traits. Those can differ from person to person, but together with their unique experiences, strengthens certain traits, while at the same time suppresses some others. in the end a INFJ personality-type emerges from the dust. Since i can only relay to myself in this it fits the bill very well. I had a rough childhood, been depended on my own many a times and had throughout life a kaleidoscope of extreme and a bit less extreme experiences. My life was never boring so to speak and it still isn't. Maybe i need more time to think this through but for me is all sounds very logical and on the right track. I discovered your channel just this weekend and it kept me binge watching throughout it. my head almost explodes! There's only one thing totally opposite of me! I talk about myself and my feelings a lot! Though there a few things i keep for myself, the rest is spilled out tabooless. exactly because people don't understand me or react in a negative way regularly i try to over explain everything, plus it's ment as one big question about my behavior to others or to orden things in my head and talk myself to a coherent conclusion of it all. True though, when I'm interested in somebody (doesn't have to be to a intimate level) i want to know everything about them indeed. Hope you guys can use this information somehow! Oh, and since English isn't my native language, there could be some (or a lot!) spelling errors in this text. Sorry for that!

My experience is that I was looking at the challenges I my world, from as far back as I can remember. Always knew. Insight from somewhere else. It helped me. I had understanding, beyond my years. Without it, my outcome of life.. would have been much different. I am grateful.

I had all of the hypothetical suggestions present in my childhood and I’m an INFJ. I think I was born an INFJ to that family so that I’m prepared and protected

I am an INFJ and i have always been naturally introverted from as young as I can remember. I was bullied since kindergarten and throughout primary and middle school which I think it could of been because I was quiet, sensitive, introverted, preferred my own company and to do my own thing. I think other kids bullied me because they were jealous and didn’t understand. I also think I may have lacked social skills which contributed to my introversion because growing up my parents didn’t really have good social skills so they didn’t know how to model them to me. My mother also had mood swings and I never knew what mood she was going to be in or how she would react to me so I think I developed a heightened sense of intuition to try and judge when to leave her alone to protect myself from her bad moods and rejection. My father was always distant when I was growing up, he’s an introvert too so it may be partly genetic.

I have done a lot of work one myself this past couple years. This video has helped me to understand that I’m headed in the right direction.

wow. my INFJ journey is 10 year in, but only a month into really trying hard to help myself and better understand myself. The journey is amazing. This video hit harder than most, I start crying at 9:32. I am able to relate to almost everything INFJ I consume, but this moment triggered me. I've been doing some activities with my therapist to help try and understand my past further. She said I may experience a regressive memory after some of these activities. I believe I'm made,, but I'm convinced I've created and wired connections in my brain that aren't healthy, while others I felt have burdened me are now a gift. This is a beautiful part of the INFJ journey.

I do think that it is a measure of both nature and nurture, with nature winning out with a larger percentage. I believe we are born with most of our personality traits built in, but along the way life happens and some of our perspectives change; sometimes consciously, sometimes not. I personally don't have a problem with criticisms especially because it's easy for me to tell when someone is being genuine and when they're just trying to get my goat. I also am a peacemaker of sorts not for my own comfort, but usually for the comfort of others. People are often without diplomatic skills and have no clue how to mediate a solution that's workable. I find myself living in a paradoxical world daily, blessing/curse, good/ bad, it's just another day in paradise.

I think you are born with the traits. I’m an infj and though my childhood wasn’t perfect I had really good parents. My mother always worried that I was to kind and that because of that people would take advantage of me. She would always say things like in order to look after other that I would need to look after myself first. She said that out of all her children (we were five in total), I was the most giving, she would always compare me to her mother (my grandmother). She would always recount the story of when I was 10 years old and became friends with a kid from school that was really poor. When I visited his house and saw that they had no food. I took it upon myself to feed them by shopping from our refrigerator and taking paint from my parent’s supply (they owned apartments and the paint was used for refurbishing them) to make their place more livable. When my parents found out were all the missing stuff was going she remembered how frustrating it was because how can they be mad when technically I was doing a good deed. So they took it upon themselves to always be attentive to what I was up to and taught me how to set limits. I was also the mediator in my family and according to my siblings had the best advice. I in turn am 43 now and have been married for 22 yrs to an enfj and we have an intj for a daughter. This is why I think we are born with the traits.

I am crying right now... Uncontrollably... Crying... I fell seen for one of the first times in my life.. Especially, 5 through 7... Wow... I am mins blown... Thank you for this post...

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this kind feedback, we truly love to hear we are helping in some way.. and welcome 💙

I consider myself very much an INFJ personality type. I'm so glad I came across this video, I has given me so much to think about.

I have an INFP parent who is/was extremely excellent caring and brilliant parent, we would be in our imaginary world together! My home life was turbulent, my dad is an alcoholic and I was bullied at school. But I remember making adults uncomfortable with my intuitive knowledge at a very early age before either my dad or the bullying were an issue for me. I think things happen in our life to teach us how to use our natural abilities more. I would say my mum has helped me overcome some of the darker aspects of being an INFJ which has made the world a bit easier! Great video, as always 🌍❤

I had no choice but to survive and raise my siblings being the eldest child. I grew up fast and didn’t have time to really be a kid. In my adult years I’m still having to help my parents parent their children, otherwise they will grow up feeling the same way I did. I have empathy where my parents did not, I had to teach myself everything I know. My role models are my Aunt, Steve Irwin and grandparents/great grandparents, they are very wise and nurturing all around which spoke to me. I wouldn’t take any of it back, I wouldn’t ask for a redo, I only ask that one day my parents realize or even ask why I am the way I am. How did I become so strong and driven, it’s from experiencing many traumas head on and overcoming the mental programming of stress related habits. Thank you for this video, it has revised some of my thoughts into a positive reminder of how far I’ve come and those that remain a constant in my life.

Wow. Thanks for putting me on the chopping block. lol. Great video.

@PSYCH-O

2 жыл бұрын

Haha, you can leave that up to us every time 😂

I like these questions, but I was hoping for more delving into them and evaluating them. I've already asked myself these questions, help building answers would be much more valuable.

I never experienced bullying as a kid. Maybe because I'm kind of an achiever at school? I felt like kids my age mostly liked me because of that. But if I wasn't an achiever, I wonder if they would still like me because I was (and still is) the quiet and the shy type. I was slow to open up as I preferred observing to talking. I first observed people around me so I would know how to act around them, always being cautious about how I make them feel. I was selective at who I made friends with. I got some attention because I excel at school but I never liked getting attention. I was just a curious soul at a very young age, always wondering about the world around me. I remember always asking the adults about the HOWs and the WHYs of this world to the point that they got annoyed or got exhausted by my inquiries. They didn't tell me they were annoyed but somehow I could just feel it. Since then, I minimized asking them questions and told myself that I should just do it myself. Maybe that was why I liked learning or studying when I was young so I could satisfy my curiosity about this world. Maybe I was kinda odd that way? But I certainly didn't know that it would draw attention to me. I remember wondering why they would give me praise when I was just trying to learn as much as I could. "Isn't this what's everyone supposed to do?", I remembered asking that question but never voicing it out for the fear of being called weird. This world just felt very strange to me when I was a kid. It was like I was just a tourist visiting this place. I remembered trying my best to be more quiet so I wouldn't draw any more attention to myself. I remembered letting other kids have the spotlight so they wouldn't give it to me. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts but at the same time didn't like being left out. Haha! It was weird and kinda difficult to balance out.

Mostly born I think, but life has a way of making edits to your personality & perspective. Like for me I had severe health problems when I was little. And a trip to the ER was one drink of milk away. By the time I was in elementary school I understood what a blessing health is & that death is not far away. Sobering thoughts for a kid, but it didn’t give me any negatives (aside from being too cautious) and just made me more empathetic when someone was sick.

Yeah there is definitely something to this. Types are just names to roughly identify how a person processes and reacts to information, and things you go through affect how you process things, so I feel like all types are technically "made" if you look at it like that. Most of the points in the video are sort of common childhood abuse things, and childhood abuse is unfortunately pretty common. I'm wondering if there are some very specific things that happen to cause people to be "made" into INFJs, and different specific things for other types? Maybe people with good morals instilled in them that then go through trauma at a young age, or something similar could cause people to be INFJs. Hopefully you guys make more videos on this stuff and with some other types too.

@HansenFT

Жыл бұрын

I def developed my morals to a large degree later, in terms of clear values etc. Empathy and sympathy was likely hardwired though.

We born with this internal tools, I believe that we are developed, i grow up completely lost and without direction, until that I need mastery this internal gifts and use as a compass to my life, and how to use it, take me a while and so many suffering during the journey, it is like a diamond you find a rock but need cleaning to become valuable

My INFJ intuition, which is very good, was less than useless when it comes to recognizing abuse patterns. Intuition is based on some rational pattern behavior recognition and abuse doesn't follow patterns, per se. I can see it in other people and situations that don't directly effect me. But in my own life I couldn't see the forest for the trees. We INFJs are very, very good at picking up on other people's emotions but when those emotions are chaotic and irrational it confuses us and overwhelms us. Meditation really helped me separate out my emotions from circumstances and help me be less reactive, but as I got better at doing that, the abusive people in my life simply became more aggressive, and frankly nastier, in their attempts to derail me, so I barely was able to stay ahead. P.S. My major break thorough with recognizing the depth of personal abuse actually came as a result of the 2016 election. I didn't vote because I personally won't vote 'against', I only vote 'for'. So I stayed out of it. But the abusive people in my life all voted for Hillary Clinton, and had no qualms what-so-ever about harassing and bullying me into doing the same. So that was interesting. And then they fully supported the whole bogus Russiagate investigation, even people who claimed to be so ethical and boy scoutish in their personal dealings (covert narcissists) didn't blink an eye at our intelligence agencies launching a target investigation into Trump, simply because they didn't like him. For me, I never liked Trump, but I never made my dislike of him personal. They threw away every claim of ethical standard they had made all those years. Then I realized these people, who I had believed were so good (because they told me how good they were and they thought so highly of themselves) had done the same thing to me all those years - they didn't used the justice department but they trashed my character, undermined me at every turn, and made up lies about me to anyone who would listen. I felt it, I saw it, I knew it, but I couldn't really understand it because I was in the middle of it. It wasn't until I saw their willingness to undermine our whole political and legal system to 'get Trump' that I knew these were hardcore narcissists and I hadn't imagined all the abuse I'd suffered my whole life. Once I recognized that pattern of abuse in something that wasn't personal to me, then I could see those patterns everywhere. But when it was just aimed at me and I had no objective legal or ethical standard to use as a measure, I could not get a handle on it. I've heard others who suffered childhood abuse had the same kind of awakening in 2016.

You made an excellent case and I think your spot on

These kept hitting harder and harder. Once you got to the old soul vs growing up too fast..... i was convinced 🤣🤣🤣

I would say this is pretty accurate. I grew up being bullied a lot during my elementary school years, my parents are always fighting, my dad is always away for work, my mom always yells at her children, and eventually they got a divorce by the time I was 12. My mom was always pretty strict with my older sister and me while my dad was not because he wanted us to live our lives as we want it. He would step in if something was wrong. My escape was just being with my close friends at the time growing up. After that, I did take up music as another way to escape and I have been doing that for about 16 years. Over time, my mom got a bit more lenient because it took for her to realize during my college years about how she was treating us. Overall, if I never experienced all of that, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I am pretty happy. I do have my moments of depression or sadness, but it has been on the rarity these last couple of years. The close friends I have made in college, the band that I am in, and the decisions I have made has helped me become a better person. Reading and watching stuff about my personality type as an INFJ has been eye-opening.

I've been wondering about this recently! In my case I think I was made. On the rare occasions I'm with my small group of friends that I trust completely, I'm an extrovert and comedian. But in *every* other situation (which is 99% of the time) - even with my siblings/nieces/nephews, I retreat into my shell and I know this comes from not only childhood trauma but continuing adult trauma. There has been so much trauma and betrayal in my experience that I trust no one, never feel completely safe with other people and I live in expectation of being judged poorly. It's exhausting! I also think this concept of being moulded into someone that you weren't necessarily 'born to' be in order to survive, can lead to mental health issues like depression, because something inside you knows you aren't being your true self.

As an infj that last phrase really hit deep. I definitely do that!!

I have thought about this a lot because the fearful avoidant attachment style (which develops mostly from childhood trauma) overlaps with the INFJ personality

Thank you So much of this rungs so true So often, we are told that this natural learned coping mechanism is a *wrong,* an avoidance to reality. It's not wrong to dream of better, it's not wrong to cope

Finally! This has been (mostly) my theory long before I was introduced to the MBTI. I feel like these other videos put us waaay up there on this ridiculously high pedestal that we don’t belong on and this brings it back down to a more realistic level. This isn’t always a fun or easy personality to manage and to be honest it can sometimes be a little lonely (well at least when I’m a little down like tonight). These videos would be much more beneficial if they gave more tips on how to manage and what to do with this personality. It seems to me that it is a precursor to a legitimate purpose in life that I seem no closer to realizing than when I started at least two decades ago. I do appreciate these videos and especially this one as it seems someone can relate but a little more instruction would be great! I hope his didn’t sound like a rant - I’m just having one of those days…