Subscribe to Lauren’s newsletter: laurensapala.com/newsletter/

@futureplanet6910

14 күн бұрын

Do you speek about MBTI in this video? Thanks

I have lived a very odd lifestyle but it cost me being poor for a long time. I'm now on the up and up with a good paying job, awesome career trajectory and starting the process of buying my first house at 39... INFP

I really like the "prostitute" archetype and I relate to it very well. I'm a very highly educated professional in my early 50s, yet I've been unemployed for 1.5 years and really struggling to find work. Would appreciate connecting with other INFJ/Ps who are going through very difficult, long-term life transitions.

@don-eb3fj

Ай бұрын

In my 50s also, self-employed since my mid 20s, been in various stages of "transition" for over 10 years due to various disenchantments and losses and simply unable to invest myself in career concerns for over 4 years now; I'm soul weary and just too beat up from "selling my sword" to one honorable lost cause after another trying to establish and defend one tiny corner of the world "between salt water and the sea strand" that could be a haven from conflict and austerity for the "wounded refugee child" behind the visor. Mostly those 4 years have been spent in study and contemplation as a "monk", trying to assimilate meaning from all those meaningless and thankless campaigns, and for the past 18 months sharpening my quill rather than the sword, hoping to help author a new philosophy of peace, healing, and collaboration - it's the toughest battle I've ever fought, with loyal allies even harder to come by and harder yet to trust, all having stood alone in the fray for so long. Your handle caught my attention - I've been speaking those very words to any within earshot since 2007. Had any better luck than I have ?

@Flx-zh8ze

Ай бұрын

I’m an INFP and I’ve been homeless twice and have done sex work. I appreciate that you can sympathize and see yourself in the struggle. I’m in housing now but it’s low income and I’m chronically ill so I don’t work. I feel you ❤️

This is an incredible breakdown of the two archetypes.

Thanks for putting together this video, and it does in fact resonate with me. Perhaps the class may have been useful a few years ago, but I have since worked all those awkward issues... One thing I wanted to share is in reference into you observation that a lot of INFJs and INFPs have gone through some kind of trauma in life. I have a theory about that observation. I agree with it, but I think the Universe, God, Powers That Be, Yahweh, Allah, or whatever does that intentionally. This is to allow the INFJs and INFPs to learn to overcome and successfully navigate those hardships in order to help them to realize their true potential! It either makes us or breaks us... Which is an observation that I have made.

As an INFP I went through such a drastic period (middle life crisis) and although the Prostitute archetype went away completely, the wounded child didn’t. It’s impossible to completely get rid of the critic inside of one’s head. One can learn to work with it and accept it but one cannot get rid of it.

These are spot on Lauren. Your insights are so valuable. I've had so many deeply toxic work dynamics, all with power imbalances. I didn't see the pattern until about 8 months ago (yes, midlife awakening) and I've been self employed for 12 years because work was making me ill.

INFJ, and going through this right now. Started when I was 29. 32 now, and still struggling. Mainly with guilt and shame when the survival archetypes show up. But a big thing holding me back and stifling growth is fear that I’m autistic. I grew up with the idea that there was something “wrong” with me. I struggled in school, was lonely and withdrawn, and didn’t have friends. Since I had an autistic brother, my parents were convinced that it was autism. But even at a young age, I knew this was just my parents avoiding responsibility for being extremely abusive and chaotic. If I was autistic, then that would neatly explain my “odd”, unhappy behaviour (and, more importantly, my lack of success in life) while, conveniently, protecting them from any blame for poor parenting. They needed me to be autistic for *their* world to make sense. Nobody, and I mean nobody, seemed willing to consider the possibility that my unusual behaviour was due to school bullying and home abuse. Not my family, not my teachers, not the therapists. I was cutting my wrists, starving myself, and abusing medication, desperately crying out for help, and they were all silent and uncaring. Past a certain point, I believe my parents were lowkey wishing for me to end my life and make theirs easier. This has contributed to a belief that society really doesn’t care about abused kids and is much more likely to silence and/or medicate abused children in the name of “keeping families together” than put in the time, money, and effort to remove vulnerable young people from harmful situations. Yet, I can’t completely trust my own “survivor narrative”. If I speak too passionately about something I like, it’s autism. If I feel a bit stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life, it’s autistic overstimulation. If I monitor my behaviour around others and withhold certain details about myself that I feel may cause others to view me negatively, it’s “masking”. I don’t want my abusers to be right. I don’t want to be different, at least not by nature. I already struggle so much with feeling worthless and unlovable, and knowing I am fundamentally different neurologically from the majority of humanity would not bring me hope and optimism for my future.

Lauren, you have given me the understanding that for four -plus decades, I have failed to comprehend. I am now in the "jarring" stage. The floor has fallen from beneath me, but I know this new life will serve me for a strong and healthy future, however brief. Alone is an understatement.

as always, best infj knowledge and advice

Thank you so much for sharing this insight❤.

Thank you, Lauren. Fabulous and informative video. I look forward to the next one.

I loved your book and I'm so glad I found your channel!

INCREDIBLE INFO. THAT IS NEW TO ME....AND IS ME.....ABD INCREDIBLE TO FINALLY KNOW..... THANK YOU

I was into adulthood about 10 years before I recognized (felt and named) that I had negative emotions or any needs.

@Anna-rv3fv

Ай бұрын

This is me currently. 28 and just now realizing I should take care of myself

This is scary accurate for me (INFP) and one of my best friends ( INFJ)

I fall under both. Oops.

@cinderling5472

Ай бұрын

Same

I'm open to the class.

Is there a survival archetype for a ENTP? I am going through a storm right now related to a change and I am in my 50s.