I bought a python to stay in the guest bedroom. Mother in law doesn't stay nights over here anymore.

@chocolatte8301

2 жыл бұрын

😂

@racpatrice

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@starlingswallow

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂🥰

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@Ruth-vy1qj

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

Ppl making you feel uncomfortable in your own home for a month??!! Compromise??!! Hell no!!!!! Get a hotel!!!

@brandyk

24 күн бұрын

Yeah I was surprised that after all the talk about the ongoing relationship and where the callers feelings may stem from n what to do moving forward on visits etc that John still made it sound like the inlaws should just be able to stay there for a month no discussion. Depending on the size of the house n so many other things even if they normally got along great n generally felt comfortable around them there is no need to feel you have to let people stay with you for a month at a time every summer n that's exactly what it would be as this would become the norm since their schedule now permits this. I also don't think that John should just assume the in-laws are just mentioning extended stay hotel as some manipulative ploy on their part. They night well understand that it might be a bit of an imposition for that long yet they probably driving or flying good distance n want to get their time or money s worth rather than 3-4 separate trips throughout the summer. Why not say we'd love to see you but feel it might be too cramped for that long etc n perhaps 2 -3 weeks tops with them n a week in extended stay or just cutting it short at 2-3 weeks and save the money if extended stay by returning home or some variation. Perhaps 2 weeks with them then a week in extended stay n cap off with 2 final days at the house. I mean damn what if they asked for 2 months? Would you just have to do that also. I think anything over a week or two is an imposition even for people you love n even if you want to see them just bc of logistics. I was curious what the other kids n their spouses think about this? Everyone has different needs for connection n different needs for personal space so no one is right or wrong. The last thing you want is resentment seeping into the visit. That's not fair to them either. Re his question about whether he should have a conversation with the father in law, while I do understand what John said with the father in law likely getting defensive,I also think they should be ready for not him but the wife since it's her parents or together to have that conversation when appropriate if something does warrant it. Like the following day. If they have 10 year old child they're likely married 10-12 years n so a fairly long pattern has already been established n it's not always right to just be drastic in a change out of the blue n expect people to not be a bit disoriented and confused. Why do that on what they think will be a nice visit. Wonderful insights from the caller as well as John about why the relationship with the father in law might be particularly triggering for him as it's not like the man is actively doing or saying anything so bad. Totally get however that when you're dating and eventually married to someone you're usually trying to put your best foot forward n win then over. This starts innocently enough n also bc you're usually young n of course have respect for elders n especially your significant other's parents but as you age n mature the relationship had to as well just like their relationship with their daughter should. Into more of a friendship otherwise you'll just be tolerating them n they you and that's silly. It's difficult to connect with some people especially if their very quiet n you are more polite n affable n think it's your job to put them n you at ease but it can be exhausting. Especially if you're now hosting them. This will be a tougher transition. I think if you know the person likes n respects you in their own quiet way,their silence or extreme quietness/introversion can be more comfortable but if you feel right or wrongly that their silently judging you that's going to be very uncomfortable n it's a difficult thing to address bc it's so subtle. I'm curious if the caller feels the father in law is like this with the other kids n their spouses. If he is probably nothing personal but if he's not than there is a reason the son in law feels more uncomfortable than has less to do with his relationship with his own father. Some people do actually try to control by their silence. If course we can play the same game but we're trying not to be childish.

What's the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws? Outlaws are WANTED 😁

@RBNY

Жыл бұрын

😂

@sanitary103

Жыл бұрын

lol pretty funny. never heard that one.

@fabiolatorres4020

Жыл бұрын

Hahaha that's hilarious!

Why is this man obligated to have anyone staying in his house for a month!? His wife is responsible for communicating to her parents how long she and her husband decide they can stay. Also, I’m a highly sensitive person, so people’s energy greatly affects me. A cold, close minded, letter of the law person living with me would disturb my spirit in my house, hence, the reason why they would only stay for a week. I make the decisions in my house just like they make them in theirs!

My mother in law used to come for “a week” and it would quickly turn into two months. She would lay in bed all day and scream our names for basic things like water, popcorn a tissue. She was fully able bodied and act like a baby with servants. She’s no longer welcome and I feel great about that.

@starlingswallow

Жыл бұрын

Good for you!!! 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻

@sanitary103

Жыл бұрын

damn. you should have booted her much quicker but I get how it could get awkward.

@karyndewit193

Ай бұрын

Holy cow, that’s crazy! 😳

@brandyk

24 күн бұрын

Holy crap. Well that's a little bit different from this callers situation.

@carlenerosinski5095

2 күн бұрын

Oh no, never!!!

Idk, as a high reactive introvert I would rather hang myself than hang out with my in-laws for a month. They're nice and fine people but by the third day I would have major emotional burnout. This also applies to my own parents.

@hawihawi9260

2 жыл бұрын

Its exhausting.

@staceystrukel1917

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. I live next to my in laws and it is a nightmare.

@littlepixel1650

Жыл бұрын

Me too!!!! I’m not sure why he didn’t even address the month long stay!!!!! It’s a 2 yes 1 no question!

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

Same. I thought I was the only one 😂

@melaninchocolate6552

11 ай бұрын

This!!! I HAD TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO MY FIANCE WHEN HE TELLS ME HIS MOM IS LONELY AND MISSES ME ETC I HAD RO LET HIM KNOW THAT I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MOTHER'S LONELINESS OR HAPPINESS!! she is married and is needy! Also very overbearing, it's emotionally exhausting being around her! I encouraged him to go visit his parents without me!! I don't even speak to my family via phone, and they respect that I'm a recluse (I don't bother anyone for anything). You have to make it clear from the get go! Also made it clear, am not marrying anyone to take care of their parents in old age! Parents better have their retirements planned and nursing homes picked out cuz it's not my responsibility to be your mom's shoulder to cry on 24/7! I have my own life and enough problems of my own!!

This is when you tell your inlaws to get their own life. Adult married people need their own space. You don't need a reason to say no.

@a.humphries8678

Жыл бұрын

I know, if they're comfortable enough to ask you have the right to say no. No is a complete sentence, no obligation to explain.

@Matt-cr4vv

11 ай бұрын

Yeah it’s genuinely absurd to me that anybody could think a one month visit, even in a hotel, is anywhere near reasonable.

My in-laws used to come visit us for 2-3 weeks at a time. Mil would take over my kitchen and shoot down my plans etc. she treated my husband like a child and would make all his favorite boyhood foods etc. I kept my home very tidy and organized but she would have my kitchen in disarray the whole visit. It was too much. Very passive aggressive and I dreaded every visit. This was many years ago but the memories remain.

This was such weird advice. It's Tommy's house. He's under no obligation to invite/allow his in-laws to stay in his house when it makes him uncomfortable - especially for a month!

@msjoby89

2 жыл бұрын

I actually think it was pretty spot on. The caller wanted advice on how to interact with his in laws not on how to tell his wife not to invite them.

@sarrahconley3143

2 жыл бұрын

She probably wants them there. It's her house too.

@N0BEAR

2 жыл бұрын

@@msjoby89 this is what I was thinking as well. If the guy was saying "I hate my in-laws. How do I get on the same page with my wife?" I'm sure it would have been a different conversation.

@littlepixel1650

Жыл бұрын

House guests have a 2 yes 1 no policy. What’s Tommy going to do if they want to settle down for longer? Move out? Do you see how stupid that sounds?

@jeremyholley2978

Ай бұрын

I think it’s probably more about keeping peace with his wife because they aren’t on the same page about it. That’s probably the real problem here. Unless there was a need (home destroyed, illness) to have either set of our parents stay for a while, I would also say no.

Never allow in laws (especially toxic ones) to come and stay at your house for more than one week. Take it from one who knows. MIL (widow) came and stayed with my husband and I for 16 days. She nearly destroyed our happy marriage. Ideally, they should stay at a hotel, but we are not supposed to be "mean" or "cold". We adult children are supposed to cheerfully open up our homes to parents and in-laws who have no respect or boundaries and basically hand over the keys and let them run our houses. They immediately try to establish dominance in YOUR territory just to let you know that they are still the parent. Only, this is unbiblical. This is in direct violation to the "leave and cleave" principle for marriage. We are not an extension of our parents families. They have no jurisdiction over us or our households. When a man leaves his mother and father to get married, he cleaves to his wife and provides her with her own territory (house) and they begin a new and separate (nuclear) family that is independent of our parents. Toxic overbearing in-laws will always try to override this boundary and take over to show you who's boss. Establish very strong boundaries the very first day they arrive for their visit. If you fail to do this, you are in for years of abuse, entitlement and their taking advantage of your hospitality and literally taking over your home. Let them know that they are the guest and you are the lady of the house and the hostess.

@Learninglotsoflanguages

Жыл бұрын

Yes yes yes! I failed in the past and trying to be better.

@michaelclark2458

11 ай бұрын

I have this issue right now. My in laws stay 2-3 weeks a time minimum 3 times a year. Mother in law is very overbearing. My wife wants them to be here more. I want less. It’s not going well. I’m so tired of every spring break, every summer and every Christmas having them visit every time for weeks on end. I often feel like when they visit my son has two moms and no dad. How do you get your spouse to agree with you that it’s way too much.

@blitzkrieg6872

11 ай бұрын

@@michaelclark2458 Well, you see, I wrote my initial comment based on my personal experience with this. My mother in law came to visit two years ago. She stayed for two weeks and as a result, she did some major damage to my marriage. Meaning, that I cut ties with my mother in law and everything that occured between the three of us (when she was here) resulted in many, many fights between me and my husband. It has actually taken a full two years for my husband to really stand up to his mother and it has resulted in the two of them cutting ties as well. She refused to be civil in our home and insisted that she was "entitled" to treat us that way because she is "mother". I said that I will die on this hill. I would never accept these dynamics. So, basically, it came down to ME(the wife) refusing to back down and accept this circumstance. I spoke up for myself and became my own advocate. You are married and you have equal rights and also you are the man of the house. Just say NO! Just put your foot down and REFUSE!!!!! Good luck!

@jborrego2406

10 ай бұрын

I’m single an I wouldn’t let my parents stay with me. There I’m the parent ur always the kid type . My last spanking was at 27 stop talking to them when I was 30 lol

I just don’t like people in my space. It frazzles my nerves

@a.humphries8678

Жыл бұрын

Same. You have to be on your toes about everything.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

Same. It's new to me as I just bought a house a little less than 2 years ago. I lived with my wife in an apartment for almost 7 years and friends and family rarely came by. We would usually drive to see people. My parents don't come over very often as they live far away but her parents will invite themselves over on occasion which I don't usually mind but sometimes I am like NO I need my space and I don't want the obligation of entertaining.

@melaninchocolate6552

2 ай бұрын

OMFG!!!! So this is what that feeling is!!! You guys perfectly described this feeling I got during family gatherings!!!! That uneasy of having to be on your toes at all times, you can't just relax and be your true self!!!! And that invasive feeling of unfamiliar energy in your space!! 🎯..thank you guys for describing this perfectly.

Why not a compromise? Two weeks at the house, two at a hotel. I get how the guy is feeling. I might start to feel resentful with such s long imposition on my family privacy and routine. A month is a long time to have house guests, even under the best of circumstances.

@brookesmith1550

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Exactly!

@lizaw.7313

2 жыл бұрын

2 weeks may be too long of a time if they have issues...

@paulatripodi3989

2 жыл бұрын

@Liza W. I agree.

@littlepixel1650

Жыл бұрын

3 days tops

@melaninchocolate6552

11 ай бұрын

1 day is enough for me!!! Hell actually 3 to 5 hours is more than enough!!! Am good ✌🏾

It wouldn’t matter why Dad bothers him. A month is imposition, period. It would be different if their house had burned, or one of the parents was ill and needed assistance to recover etc.

Man.... Just tell them no and move on. No, you can't come to my house. We're done here. I'm tired of tip toeing around people. It is 2022 and I'm not doing it.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

Same here. My wife and I bought a house 2 years ago. We lived in an apartment together for 7 years and her parents and my parents rarely came over. Now it seems like her parents invite themselves over now and then. Most of the time I don't care but sometimes I just don't want them over.

The only thing I would disagree with is offering the in-laws alcohol when you know they don't drink. My husband made the choice not to drink after growing up with alcoholic parents and every time he ate at my parents house my dad offered him a drink. After a few times it was just plain annoying. My husband felt that my dad didn't respect his choice not to drink.

@marycarricaburu3683

2 жыл бұрын

I agree, or perhaps the person is a recovering alcoholic and doesn't wish to broadcast it. If you know a person doesn't drink, offer Coke, Lemonaid, Water, or Coffee.

@inalaska1208

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly they don't actually know that the only reason they don't drink is religion. It could be they lost a friend or family member to alcohol they could be alcoholics before getting religious.

@AnnabelleC0306

2 жыл бұрын

I think he's referring to delivering the message without having that conversation. It's like letting them know that's what they choose to do under their roof, if that makes sense.

@johniii8147

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. In your case you should have told your Dad to knock if off.

@haileeroxana

2 жыл бұрын

For some people alcohol is not that big of a deal. Offering alcohol is just like offering sprite. In my household it is something so normal and in my culture as well. I do not think it is rude to offer, if anythig I think it is rude not to offer. He can just say no and that's it.

30 days is way too long for a "visit".

@arlenefisher1164

Жыл бұрын

They are not staying with them. Good grief.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes 1 day is too long

While I agree with doctor John it’s hard to have someone stay in your house, not talk, not acknowledge you and scream at the tv and be a jerk. A month is way to long. Maybe a week. Not a month

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

It's brutal

@Matt-cr4vv

11 ай бұрын

Honestly I think it’s absurd to even expect to stay at the kids home whatsoever. It should immediately be hotel and then if they invite you to stay at their home that’s fine. But inviting yourself at all, especially for a month, to stay in your kids home just isn’t cool.

Living with your in laws is a huge mistake. Say No now

Who wants to have someone in their house that doesn't want anything to do with them.?

I wish my Mom was still here she could stay forever. ❤

@bettysmith4527

2 жыл бұрын

I am sorry for your loss ❤

I wld politely tell them its our home and this is wat we do. If yall dnt like it yall are free to leave. 🤷🏾‍♂️ Im not hiding NOTHING in my own home. Dats jus crazy.

Let the in-laws stay at the extended stay hotel. It sounds like the caller will be driven nuts by their month long visit. This advice is stronger if the in-laws are boundary challenged.

@Matt-cr4vv

11 ай бұрын

There’s no chance in hell I would let them stay in my home for a month. I don’t care if they guilt trip about the hotel the idea they even entertain staying in your home for a month is even in the realm of being reasonable is absurd.

No in-laws have the right to invite themselves to come to your house and stay for 10 minutes, let alone a month. The only way they should be able to come and stay is if the couple of the house has talked about it and agreed (not one person deciding) that it should happen. Pre-determine how long they are allowed to stay and let them know how long they are allowed to stay. Plan in advance what you're going to do if they overstay, regardless of whether their reason for overstaying was invented by the wife. No exceptions. If it seems obvious they are just going to decide to overstay, put their suitcases or whatever they're keeping their stuff in, and put them out on the front stoop. No young couple or second marriage couple should ever give a key to an in-law. Ever. If the time period they want to come conflicts with something you and your spouse are doing, or if it is just not a good time for it, make that clear- don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. It is YOUR home, not theirs.

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

I agree. We bought a house almost 2 years ago and I got pissed when my wife just dropped news on a Saturday morning about her parents coming by last November. I was not in any mood to entertain and I had stuff to do outside of the house anyway. I left her to entertain her parents and frankly I don't feel an ounce of guilt or obligation. I said to my wife we have to discuss before they come by so now we have talks about it.

It is stressful as you always feel the need to entertain and I would not want someone trying to boss me around in my own house.

I typed in "nightmare" on google, and this video popped up! 😟

@roderickechlin557

3 ай бұрын

That's so funny. Except when u have to live it.

Depnds on the in laws. I would not mind having mine stay that long. Free childcare and they don't impose. I would love if my mom lived with us forever as does my husband.

You have to learn math. My mom was talking about moving into my place when they retire. I have a two bedroom 2500 sqft place. I told her there isn't room because it's a two story house and there's me and the kiddo. One floor for each of us.

A month is way too long. Perhaps a week or two, then for the remainder of the visit they can stay in an extended stay.

Just found this show and I’m hooked after the second time listening!😅😅😅

My mom stay with us for a month. it did not work out.

It’s not just about having someone stay in your home over a month. I think it’s also just stifling summer plans with your own family. Where I live, the kids only have about 2 months before they are back in school, which really leaves very limited time to plan family trips and activities for the summer. If someone were staying with me that long, I would feel absolutely anchored to the house.

I am going to slightly disagree with the Doc on this one. I am not going to be in my own house and feel uncomfortable, sorry but ain't happening. Now I've been married going on 24years and this happened to us when our kids were 5, they're 21 now, but my mother was allowing the kids to watch things we didn't approve of. Now, I know my wife wasn't happy but she was to respectful (just a decent lady) to engage but I knew she trusted me to handle it so she never got angry. So I offered up solutions and suggestions, explained I wasn't trying to disrespect her but my mom wouldn't budge. So we ended up not allowing the kids to go over unattended. My mom, so I handled it. This daughter needs to put on her big girl pants and respectfully take her dad out for lunch and have a come to Jesus meeting with him if he wants to be in there life- she's married, now he has to take a back seat, they have their own life, pay their own bills so respect her family and back off.

What a wise and insightful caller. His wife is blessed.

@aaronqueen55

2 жыл бұрын

Was that sarcasm?

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

@@aaronqueen55 💯

Tell them that's just too long, that you have your routine and family time, you need your own family dynamics.

Why would you offer wine to someone you know doesn't drink alcohol? I think that is confrontative and rude. Asking your wife if she'd like a glass in front of her parents like it's a pass the fork question could be ok. I do think this can be done in a healthy way...you can take the first week or at least a long weekend off to vacation with them, then return to your normal schedule. And you could encourage them to take the kids for a grandparents week by planning daily staycation outings for them and the kids. And maybe after the first week, you and your wife can take advantage of the sitters and have a few days to reconnect. By calling her dad ahead time to say how much you'd appreciate the opportunity to take a few days for a marriage retreat would be allowing them to love your family and strengthen your marriage during their visit. Do this week 3 and that final week four will probably go great! Good luck

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

I agree very rude.

They should send the kids to the grandparents for a month. Problem solved 😂

I wouldn’t want someone in my house that didn’t want to talk to me either, sure as heck wouldn’t be staying in the actual house with me if they weren’t in the immediate family

@arlenefisher1164

Жыл бұрын

Some people are just quiet and don't talk. So be it. Who cares?

My Dad tried to control our lives even after we all go married. I told him No and I have my husband’s family too.

Absolutely not. Obviously they have no idea about what boundaries are

Hide the TV remote.

This is an excellent video! I wish we would have had this advice when we were first married. Be proud of who God made you to be and don't change to make somebody else happy!

We once invited ourselves to temporarily move in with my mother in law to fix and sell our home . When the time came , she put us in her rental . She didn’t want us living with us saying her husband wouldn’t like it . But then when it was time to move out of the rental and buy a home , she offered to have us come live with her ! It made no sense . First we can’t stay but now you want us to live there ? No way .

@lizaw.7313

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you should thankful they let you stay somewhere, it wasn't her job to provide you a home.

@Matt-cr4vv

11 ай бұрын

It doesn’t make logical sense because it probably focused in control

The mere title of this gives me chills x

Yay from Siloam Springs. I feel ya

The hardest thing is to create boundaries with ur in-laws. We’ve had multiple arguments and nasty fights in the past. We have my wife’s mom living on our property (in a garden suit I built for her)- and I tried to make very clear boundaries (ie: don’t come into my house uninvited or when you feel like it (I work from home and need my space)… she still comes in 5 times a day). If I say anything, she takes it the wrong way … and acts like a child.

They would "love" to stay for a month. That actually sounds pretty darn sweet. If you set them up for a nice stay it will go well. I would tweak out their "guest room" into a suite with a private t.v., mini fridge loaded with what they like, snack tray with mixed nuts, etc.. new robes, soaps, new towels, linens, etc. Have fun with it and just do your thing. You can always leave the house for anything like a run or an errand whenever you want. Let them enjoy the kids while you can enjoy a break doing other stuff.

@randyadams1312

2 жыл бұрын

You must not have in-laws who treat you like a servant, lie, hide things in your home, keep you from using the bathroom, controlling every situation and playing the victim. That’s the reality for me and others.

@starlingswallow

Жыл бұрын

@@randyadams1312 sounds like they are toxic narcissist. 😢 I'm so sorry.

@bridaw8557

Жыл бұрын

That’s not the best way to handle this sometimes. The spouse often lets these run over the married couple to subltle ways. The spouse should honor his discomfort. If you have proxies of the parent coming to visit as a way of getting intel because they know your having issues, that’s not ok. They can divide the marriage in very subtle ways, especially MILs who are threatened and disapproving of the wife guilting the adult child. That is very very hard for the wife. The spouse need to put the wife first in a nice way with Mom and if she uses guilt then it’s not fair to the couple. There is nothing wrong with staying for a few days then going to a nearby extended stay hotel to give them space. They often feel offended by this, esp MIL. They invite themselves not including the spouse. That’s a different thing.

@JustinCase780

Жыл бұрын

@@bridaw8557 It's "not the best way to handle this sometimes" but it's a lot to assume that it's so terrible and not a healthy approach. If it doesn't work.. o.k. not again. UPDATE: They had a wonderful holiday!!!

@allyourbaseman

Жыл бұрын

Is this a joke?

It's the critiques on how this couple is raising their children that will be very difficult.

I say go without the alcohol at the dinner table when in-laws are there. Not because you're trying to hide the fact that you drink, but more out of respect and so as not to cause any potential strain. Leave kids at home with in-laws and go on a date and have wine. Simple.✌

@cg741graf5

2 жыл бұрын

Winning comment. Use this as an opportunity to do more as a couple and grow.

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

💯

@staceystrukel1917

2 жыл бұрын

No. If it were one night than yes. Not a month of tip toeing around in your own house.

@kellharris2491

Жыл бұрын

This is their house. Parents should respect them.

@sanitary103

Жыл бұрын

I mean I get it, but it's their damn house. I never would want anyone to change their house rules b/c of me. it's selfish in itself.

well it is one thing to say „thats on them if they want to throw an adult temper tantrum“ and a second one to live through it and the tension afterwards … idk this does not really help. i would just keep a distance with people like this ..

This was fantastic advice.

No kitty for you Tommy the caller....for A MONTH

Been in similar position with some relatives. I've learned to say two very important phrases: "I'm sorry you feel that way" "Sorry, I'm not discussing that right now" Rinse and repeat as needed.

No politics/No Covid is 100% the right move and more people need to follow that advice.

I’m ok with short visits, a couple of hours is enough. We like our space.

Every. F-ing. Year. Of a 10-year marriage. Snooping through my stuff. Three-against-one in my own home, unless we were by ourselves, then my partner would agree with me. Not missing this at all. Singleness is bliss.

Maybe a month visit won't work, suggest a week. I have the same scenario my father in law falls a sleep within minutes sitting next to me.

@marycarricaburu3683

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds like a blessing unless he snores loud.

@randyadams1312

2 жыл бұрын

Does he do it passive aggressively and pretend to sleep (I’m sleeping, go away)

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

There was one time my wife said her parents are coming by. I did not want to entertain so I simply took a drive and went fishing. Never felt an ounce of guilt about it.

I only get so many Summers can I get to plan things for my little kids. Why would I give up a whole month of having to tip to around someone

Parents have issues, too. Sadly, dad rejection issues cause so much resentment with believing God loves us, so it’s hard to navigate relationships and salvation when you’ve been mistreated, rejected or abandoned as a kid! 😔 Don’t believe the lies of rejection though! God loves you, yes, even if you drink wine. However, deal with the issues that are rooted in the need to drive the rebellious heart and you’ll find that wine doesn’t quite taste the same.😌

@a.humphries8678

Жыл бұрын

So many father wounds. 😢

Sometime the anticipation is worse than the reality. The in-laws are coming to spend time with your family because they love you. Don't assume that they already have agenda to "fix you" or to make you more like them. Relex and be humble. You may learn a few things that will benefit you for the rest of your life. Get to know your in-laws as people. My in-laws spent many summers (about 3 months out of the year) with us when our children were younger. Ir was great for the kids to know their grandparents better. I had difficult moments because I needed more privacy, but overall, it was a mutually beneficial experience. The minor inconveniences helped me to grow and be less selfish.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

If they loved you, they would have asked. If they loved you, they would have cultivated a relationship where you could say no and everything would be ok

@randyadams1312

Жыл бұрын

The caller is not selfish. A month is way too long. The parents are coming to see their daughter, not him. The father in law ignores him. A week should be the max.

Yeah that’s a big no.

I think it's a chance to let them build close relationships with the children. Give them a brochure for an extended stay and set a schedule for visits., and what days they get to take kids places. I would love it

My best friends has her mother in law (that hates her and criticises her and her child relentlessly) stay with her for 2 months at a time to help her sister in law who's partner refuses to share a home with her. She's a saint, but i dont think she should do this. We shouod live carefully enough that we one can support ourselves in old age and 2 have people that want us around. Her next stint starts June 1st. I have my folks for 4 to 6 months at a time as we live in different countries. Not the easiest every day even though I adore them.

You called it Dr. John. Nice that you said your in laws are fine lol. And no theres no drugs in Crystal Springs! But of course his wife is fine with it. If it was HIS parents she'll be up in arms with it. Thats how it is being married! No alcohol in the equation.

I'd go crazy if I had to live with my parents again for a month.

Something important here - if the wife is the kind of person to suppress her life to appease her parents, who is to say she hasn't suppressed her life to appease the husband? It might be a good idea to find out who she really is and she might not have a totally different life from her parents, she might be somewhere in between parents and hubby or somewhere else entirely.

No respect from the wife. She should have stepped up and said no, that’s simply too much of an imposition. The husband is weak and will suffer with this woman for having no common sense boundaries.

Maybe be quiet while callers are talking

Only cowards can't say No! If someone turns up with a suitcase, rent them a hotel room and they can't spend the night!

I see nothing wrong with showing respect for your parents. I was 40 years old when my mother died and she had NEVER seen me smoke a cigarette. Oh, calm down. That was back in the 70's. EVERYONE smoked back then and I quit over 20 years ago. She would not have said a word to me about it but I knew that she disapproved of smoking so I never did it in front of her.

If it's what his wife wants he may need to compromise. It's her house too.

Such stupid advice. Its his freaking house, and he's entitled to set boundaries and live his own life with his family. Be a man and say no they're not staying for a month. A weekend is the longest I'll allow. A month for a visit that's ridiculous, no matter who's side of the family is over. Unless they are homeless and you are putting them up for a bit.

@kellharris2491

Жыл бұрын

Yeah that is way too much.

@carylhalfwassen8555

Жыл бұрын

I offer visits Friday to Monday or Tuesday to Friday as options. Oh, and here are the clean sheets in the closet to change the bed. Thanks, come again, you are a great guest!

@STMARTIN009

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes I don't like people coming by for even a couple of hours. I got pissed at my wife one time and said no. Another time I said screw it I am going fishing instead you entertain them yourself. I need at least 1-2 days notice.

@87alock

7 ай бұрын

Facts. I'd tell them no in a heartbeat. I'm single though

I'm sorry, but no family should be in the house together for a whole month! No way!

So is John the liberal or conservative I feel like his dad would be a conservative

Once I have a free bed room I’m buying an animal that in laws don’t like so they don’t ask to stay.

A month is a long time. I do know that my ex-MIL hated me, well, no woman was ever going to be good enough for her boy.

Ummm no.

Your wife is an ignoramus to not consider your feelings. Its a month not a week! No way would me or my husband agree to that without the other being happy about it. Thats your real problem. Just No.

🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

No no no…. !!!!!

The statement about the father in law "sitting around watching fox news" was a very political divisive statement I thought. On one hand the Dr says he doesn't allow talking about politics in his house, and on the other hand the Dr makes a snarky remark about watching Fox news which is a conservative news channel. If you are not going to allow talking about politics in the home, perhaps don't make a snarky comment about it on the show. A lot of your viewers may be conservative and find the comment to be offensive. Just my humble opinion.

@sanitary103

Жыл бұрын

yeah, I caught that too.

I have to disagree with doc as well. It’s not about trying to psycho analyze the reason why the son in law feels uncomfortable. He should not need to feel the need to entertain and be uncomfortable in his own home period. Unless there’s really unfortunate situation, living a month with the in law or anyone would be difficult. Everyone lives differently, and it’s hard to push them out if they decided to stay longer. Nipped it in the bud, sit the dad down and decline the plan for the stay.

How inconsiderate of those in-laws. Get real! Get a hotel. Whats that old saying comparing fish and house guest after 3 days?!

Whoa...wait! Is the doctor vaping?!

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

I would never take advice from a unhealthy doctor. If he was morbidly obese I would feel the same way.

John is def socially challenged!!! He laughs at the wrong time ALL the time!! You can’t tell it makes the caller uncomfortable! John is so cringy!!! ☠️

@blessedwifeandmama

2 жыл бұрын

This is so true and hes a psychologist so even crazier 😆😆

@JustinCase780

2 жыл бұрын

Not at all... Lighten up.

@millsathn

2 жыл бұрын

@@JustinCase780 you clearly lack empathy. Like John.

@genxx2724

2 жыл бұрын

He also expressed creepy high-five enthusiasm when the 21-year-old girl whose father disagreed with her having a 35-year-old boyfriend called.

@catherinenelson4162

2 жыл бұрын

Oh, lordy! John is just John. He might get a little silly to cause the caller to relax, but when the real conversations happens, he get's right to the heart of things. He tends to nail the real, underlying issues right on the head. I think he usually does very well for the short amount of time he's with a caller.

Anyone know the hosts’ politics? Something tells me he’s an CNN/MSNBC watching, follow The Science™️ type of guy.

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

A Progressive SWJ Liberal.

@aaronqueen55

2 жыл бұрын

@@marywebb9127 I don’t doubt it. He seems like a beta.

Even christians judge

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like they are unequally yoked! You should never marry a unbeliever if you are a Christian. God states that in the Bible for a reason.

OMG, who needs a husband who has “anxiety”?

@catherinenelson4162

2 жыл бұрын

Most people have anxiety! A spouse who pretends he or she doesn't, isn't being honest or just doesn't recognize it.

@ethan4048

2 жыл бұрын

More ladies would choose a man who can be vulnerable with them than whatever cartoonish version of masculinity you think is correct.

@ms.herlan7860

2 жыл бұрын

Anxiety is a health issue.

@marywebb9127

2 жыл бұрын

She needs to run.

@jordynvalenzuela2554

2 жыл бұрын

A little judgemental are we? Anxiety is relatively common. Why don’t you buy John’s book and educate yourself. John himself also has it.

Maybe this guy could take advantage of his Father in law's faith and political beliefs and learn something! This guy sounds like your typical liberal/biden/bernie supporter that doesn't believe in God.

@bkucenski

2 жыл бұрын

The far right is insufferable. Their mouths proclaim Jesus but their hearts are nowhere near him.

@johanna6050

2 жыл бұрын

@@bkucenski you might want to take Dr. Delony's advice to be kind and respectful.

@bkucenski

2 жыл бұрын

@@johanna6050 Unfortunately, after decades of not listening to anyone who respectfully and kindly explained to them that their bigotry and ignorance isn't okay, they are simply not being invited places. Perhaps you should review the difference between how Jesus spoke to Pharisees and how he spoke to people who were truly lost. They demand kindness and respect while doing no such thing for the least of these. They are reaping what they are sowing.

@mikemcbeth3216

2 жыл бұрын

alot if people don't

@cg741graf5

2 жыл бұрын

@@bkucenski wow: do you feel better now?