If You're Burnt Out - WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty

Burnout is a risk too many of us take. Jay Shetty says we’re constantly juggling the things in our lives. When things get hectic, we start dropping balls. The more fragile ones will shatter when dropped, and often we ourselves are the ones who end up suffering the most.
In this video, you’ll learn how to identify burnout in your life. Watch as Jay Shetty shares wisdom from Brian Dyson, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Jeff Foster and gives tips on how to rest and recover from burnout.
--
Text me: 310-997-4177
--
Subscribe and be a part of the movement to make wisdom go viral: bit.ly/2n6hiQP-
--
Join the conversation by commenting below.
--
Enroll in Genius Coaching to improve your life, deepen your relationships and find happiness every day: pages.jayshetty.me/genius/
--
Preorder my new book, Think Like a Monk: thinklikeamonkbook.com/
--
Jay Shetty is a storyteller, podcaster, and former monk who wants to make wisdom go viral. He loves taking his own life experiences, lessons from his time as a monk, and truths he has learned to make others’ lives better.
--
Follow me on Social Media:
Facebook: / jayshettyiw
Twitter: / jayshettyiw
Instagram: / jayshetty
LinkedIn: / shettyjay
Pinterest: www.pinterest.co.uk/jayshettyiw/
Sign up for my Viral Wisdom Newsletter: jayshetty.me/email
Want to have YOUR best year yet?
Join me for my Free Online Workshop: 5 Intentions for a Purpose-Filled Year
jayshetty.me/purpose

Пікірлер: 283

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n4 жыл бұрын

    *Burn Out* - giving too much of yourself and not receiving the amount of feedback you would like, feeling unfulfilled, thus losing motivation Wellbeing comes before anything else.

  • @abhayraane3710

    @abhayraane3710

    4 жыл бұрын

    whats the opposite of burnout ??

  • @harshitsidher8498

    @harshitsidher8498

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@abhayraane3710 giving nothing of yourself and thus not receiving any feedback at all, feeling bad about yourself, since you weren't able to do it and starting to feel as if you're depressed and worthless

  • @anythinginteresting2267

    @anythinginteresting2267

    4 жыл бұрын

    Very true

  • @stevenjacob8932

    @stevenjacob8932

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much i needed to hear that.

  • @lisaa23581

    @lisaa23581

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much I needed that 💓

  • @ErikaK
    @ErikaK4 жыл бұрын

    *Saying NO means saying YES to yourself, put yourself first, be your number ONE priority, treat yourself, love and respect yourself*

  • @kerryirving2949

    @kerryirving2949

    4 жыл бұрын

    Erika K AMEN to THIS!! ❤️ & it's ABSOULTY TRUE!!

  • @ErikaK

    @ErikaK

    4 жыл бұрын

    @Snip Dexter much love!

  • @ErikaK

    @ErikaK

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@kerryirving2949 ❤💕 sending lots of love!!!

  • @Manu52498

    @Manu52498

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yeah. I have suffered a lot by saying yes to others and no to me. No more foolishness.

  • @lazygirlvee

    @lazygirlvee

    4 жыл бұрын

    Wow

  • @InnerVisionStudios
    @InnerVisionStudios4 жыл бұрын

    Burnout seems to be a common thing in this day and age. We need to shift how we take care of ourselves and make sure that we prioritize ourselves over everything else.

  • @carlaanastas4161
    @carlaanastas41614 жыл бұрын

    "I keep my personal life quiet so don't think you know me. You only know what I allow you to know." *-Sahil Gupta*

  • @kailawhite2042

    @kailawhite2042

    4 жыл бұрын

    Carla Anastas exactly me and my cousin. Our family and friends hate us for that though. We aren’t doing anything bad it’s just there’s gonna be things we want to keep to ourselves .

  • @not__yours6523
    @not__yours65232 жыл бұрын

    When I allow myself to rest, I become more depressed..because all the thoughts that I was suppressing within me soo far,start rushing in my mind in solitude..DOES ANYONE FEELS LIKE THIS TOO? RESTING OR DOING NOTHING WORSEN DEPRESSION!!

  • @xuncle879x2

    @xuncle879x2

    Жыл бұрын

    You need to love yourself more:)

  • @pencilsketches5556

    @pencilsketches5556

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes

  • @fahadgh02

    @fahadgh02

    10 ай бұрын

    YESSS I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

  • @tanjaw9569

    @tanjaw9569

    10 ай бұрын

    Thats normal. Let the emotions come up bit by bit and feel them. They want to be seen and felt. Meditation is nothing for people with burnout and PTSD. Better somatic exercises and experience.

  • @imawakemymindisalive13

    @imawakemymindisalive13

    9 ай бұрын

    yes it’s because i take pride in my hard work so i talk down to myself for taking a break. lazy. stupid. useless. if i keep letting myself slack, i’ll lose everything. i’ve given everything to my grades. they are everything to me. i have ADHD but my grades are too high for a 504. i feel like i don’t deserve my successes. i feel like my successes will become failures soon. PSAT is in two days and i’m not gonna sleep tonight so no studying. i really wanted the national merit scholarship but i got a 1240 on my practice test. i have to do a whole lab, 2 summary sheets, and more tonight. it’s 12:30 am. idk how to fix this mess

  • @incredibleviews7091
    @incredibleviews70914 жыл бұрын

    "You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm". just an amazing words. Thank you jay shetty for this inspirational video.

  • @sharonscheer7881

    @sharonscheer7881

    4 жыл бұрын

    kamran Ahmad this is best video ever send it to 5 friends

  • @Sakarrr

    @Sakarrr

    3 жыл бұрын

    yeah ofc...btw are u kurdish?

  • @superdoggopuggowuggo1273

    @superdoggopuggowuggo1273

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thought the same...

  • @dorisw2507
    @dorisw25074 жыл бұрын

    When people say “No” to me, I respond with total understanding and forget and move onto something else. But when I say no to others they try to make me feel guilty. I don’t understand this and can’t imagine even considering that be a way I could ever respond to someone. I feel if I understood why someone wants to make me feel bad, maybe I wouldn’t choose to feel bad. I feel like I have chosen to be depressed because I can’t get their voices out of my head... “I’m disappointed in you”... “You should make more of an effort.” I am on the wrong track and I can’t get off.

  • @truereview1628

    @truereview1628

    4 жыл бұрын

    You can control how they make you feel because you control how you feel. The people that try to make you feel bad about yourself are probably bad for you. Reanalyze who your friends are and who you are spending your time with. Maybe you can find happiness in people who want you to feel happy.

  • @anythinginteresting2267

    @anythinginteresting2267

    4 жыл бұрын

    I also have those same situations but don't worry . Trust yourself.focus on yourself and develop yourself just for the sake of yourself and not for others. Everything will be alright one day

  • @xFlared

    @xFlared

    4 жыл бұрын

    Learning to say no is the most important life lesson. If you truly have a choice but continue to please others you will eventually start despising them and yourself for giving in. This creates toxicity and negative energy. Moderation is key. Giving yourself in constantly is ironically damaging both to you and the same people you're helping. Short term fulfillment for them causes long term damage. In addition you slowly start connecting your servitude with your worthiness making you work harder and please other more just to have purpose. This is extremely unhealthy and is ultimately suicide of one's soul.

  • @TheAniki94

    @TheAniki94

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@xFlared Can't agree more with your wise words!!!

  • @terryturner3050

    @terryturner3050

    4 жыл бұрын

    I feel you, there's nothing wrong with you. Those people make you feel that way seem to be angry and jealous inside and don't show their true feelings. Having one or two real friends is better than knowing a bunch manipulative parasite. It's really bad when it's your own family. God bless you, positively your friend.

  • @Moesie
    @Moesie4 жыл бұрын

    Please to all to read. Meditate Be active Be respectfull to close one around you Socialize listen to ur body Anxiety, depression, loneliness is a real thing! It won't be the same. Focus and do what you love!

  • @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862
    @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate28624 жыл бұрын

    Take time for self-care. Learn to say no. *Your health and well-being is the most important thing.*

  • @vo6172
    @vo61724 жыл бұрын

    Sounds like the story of my life right now.

  • @jaclynmorris5087
    @jaclynmorris50872 жыл бұрын

    I have a almost senior in Hugh school all honor student I just now found out he's suffering from anxiety due to burnout I'm at a lose I shoulda saw this he's pretty corky loves to do debate spends all weekend doing debate in his room preparing for the week I addressed him today n he broke down n said he has alot of anxiety even when he's not at school it's constantly thinking of what he can do better in school I simply said u do realize u can only do your best nobody expects perfection from u but yourself let's work on a few things take breaks ,meditation, breathing for stress I came from a long line of mental illness idk what to say or do I recently started trauma therapy myself so learning to fight for myself now I have to help him fight we are gonna need much prayers on this journey ❤️

  • @TanvirAhmed24
    @TanvirAhmed244 жыл бұрын

    Burnout is nature's way of telling you, you've been going through the motions your soul has departed; you're a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker. False optimism is like administrating stimulants to an exhausted nervous system. - KZreadr

  • @emmawatson6582

    @emmawatson6582

    4 жыл бұрын

    You are an inspiration!

  • @TanvirAhmed24

    @TanvirAhmed24

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@emmawatson6582 Thank you!

  • @TanvirAhmed24

    @TanvirAhmed24

    4 жыл бұрын

    @VLog Lover Thank you!

  • @aayushibhasin2204

    @aayushibhasin2204

    4 жыл бұрын

    You wrote it so well. Wow

  • @Bitachon
    @Bitachon4 жыл бұрын

    *One of Jay's best videos without a question*

  • @forestduffe5576
    @forestduffe5576 Жыл бұрын

    Burnout is real: feels like everyday is the same , toss n turn while sleeping, work physically to pay up bills , living with unemployed and laid off relatives. Try to enjoy what I do but just feeling unmotivated to be content. Hopefully this will pass. I am an introvert too if that means any thing.

  • @Kiran_Mitra
    @Kiran_Mitra4 жыл бұрын

    Relate to every word. Don't Judge Yourself! I had to see this video twice to absorb every word and see my last year following every footstep. How ignorant I have been! Time to wake up!

  • @vishwasbhat3825
    @vishwasbhat38254 жыл бұрын

    Jay = Success🥉 Jay Shetty = Success Maker 🏆

  • @riyaneyvijayan319
    @riyaneyvijayan3194 жыл бұрын

    The right advice at the right time ❤️🙏🏼

  • @albinpoly8044

    @albinpoly8044

    4 жыл бұрын

    definitely..

  • @joeldougan9197
    @joeldougan91974 жыл бұрын

    It's all I needed. Thank you so much for the timely intervention Jay

  • @RRatedT
    @RRatedT4 жыл бұрын

    I love Jay's reminders about life, sometimes I forget to live for myself and when I see his videos he reminds me of that.

  • @YashinspireBeinspired
    @YashinspireBeinspired4 жыл бұрын

    I have burnt out a lot of times giving up hope. But then success only stays far away till we ready to cross the borders. We also have our own demands to look for. We are busy entertaining others forgetting our own lives. Is this what we were born for?

  • @Catdogs23679haha
    @Catdogs23679haha4 жыл бұрын

    EXACTLY at the moment, I needed the most.. just at the nick of time. THANK YOU!

  • @amsq1615
    @amsq16154 жыл бұрын

    A beautiful work of art! Such a blessed reminder. Thank you!! 🙏🏼😌☺️

  • @rajanibalasagar4732
    @rajanibalasagar47324 жыл бұрын

    Amazing words and very true we all go through that stage . Even I have been in depression ..., A new way to think a deep rest. It's wonderful

  • @PowerfulU
    @PowerfulU4 жыл бұрын

    I hope that people make themselves a priority and stop making everything else more important. This is a great reminder to everyone Jay. Thank you.

  • @yogitasingh6371
    @yogitasingh63714 жыл бұрын

    I have been listening to you since 2017. Your thoughts and videos has helped me a lot through my tough times. I have been feeling lost, depressed and anxious for a long time but I'm recovering by working on myself. I pre-ordered your book and am excited to read it!!! All the best and Thanks to you a lot!

  • @krhervey441
    @krhervey4414 жыл бұрын

    Yes, I personally started to learn this!!! Learning to stress less....... One day at a time.

  • @victorrock1997
    @victorrock1997 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for creating and sharing this wonderful video! All the best and many blessings! Plenty of success to everyone overcoming burnout! You can do it! Plenty of health and rest! Namaste!

  • @justynatelesnicka
    @justynatelesnicka4 жыл бұрын

    This is what I needed, that's the time in my life. I am for everyone, not enought for myself. I didn't listen to my body, but it forced me to rest. Thank you for your content! 🙏 You tought me how to be gratefull. I hope there is a possibility to deliver your book to Poland 😊

  • @buchanan5985
    @buchanan59854 жыл бұрын

    I had to stop the video just to say that I need it this at this moment of my life, its a pivotal moment. Thank you, and thank you that your making time to make this kind of videos, very helpful simple, and logical.

  • @manchesterunitedwestandaga6904
    @manchesterunitedwestandaga69044 жыл бұрын

    Best of the day video

  • @Bitachon
    @Bitachon4 жыл бұрын

    *Best advice* always at the *right time!*

  • @dhawals502
    @dhawals5024 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Jay Shetty for this amazing defining video ... I have been experiencing burnout for sometime but have just been dragging myself too much! Now i have changed my plans after seeing this video and will look after myself first! Thank you so much!🙏

  • @kathleenjones2277
    @kathleenjones22774 жыл бұрын

    Jay, Amen. Thanks for this topic /segment. It close to what I am going through in my life.

  • @phoniaerin3778
    @phoniaerin37784 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Jay. I needed this reminder. As always, great content 🙂

  • @RainMaker0602
    @RainMaker06024 жыл бұрын

    Timely. I needed this. Thank you, Mr. Jay Shetty.

  • @madhurichakraborty1254
    @madhurichakraborty12544 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so.....much for this share. We all need such lessons time to time.Thought pattern management is the core relieve of everything.

  • @fantasia_3928
    @fantasia_39284 жыл бұрын

    One of the best videos I have ever watched!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Well done Jay!!! Thank you!!! 🙇‍♀️

  • @edited_aditi
    @edited_aditi4 жыл бұрын

    Sir thank you i need this only, thank you so much for always being every where god has hand on your head i feel so that is only reason you are able to motivate fellow such like me.... God is always with you, thank you for everything!!!

  • @anythinginteresting2267
    @anythinginteresting22674 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for making this video 🙏❤

  • @winnersneverquits2570
    @winnersneverquits25704 жыл бұрын

    Right video on right time , Thank you universe for this wonderful knowledge, what we forget to focus on. I m not feel well & suffer from back pain or joints pains which I ignore & do whatever I do in my daily routine. BUT this time I need to focus on my health to be healthy & happy. Now I TAKE care of myself. Give first priority to me every time . Thank u Jay thank u God for this. Feeling blessed or grateful for this video 🙏🙏🙏

  • @ladanali7422
    @ladanali74224 жыл бұрын

    this men is changing the world with words. good job

  • @anirudhbhonsle1412
    @anirudhbhonsle14124 жыл бұрын

    Amazing job man jay Shetty! Your videos are really deep and influence me a lot

  • @samikshaahlawat8599
    @samikshaahlawat85994 жыл бұрын

    Every time I relate to jay's videos, why? Because that's exactly what's happening in my life nd he explains it so beautifully and inspires me to come out of it in a better way, thank you for this❤️

  • @evanreiter747
    @evanreiter7474 жыл бұрын

    this was the topic I needed to listen to. You are amazing jay. 🙏🙏

  • @annetteluridsamy343
    @annetteluridsamy3434 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Jay for the lovely video..exactly what I am experiencing at the moment. And something I needed...thank you.

  • @david_oliveira71
    @david_oliveira714 жыл бұрын

    Wow, that was so on point and so well illustrated. Well done on this!

  • @bronwyntanner4501
    @bronwyntanner45014 жыл бұрын

    I have felt like I have been moving towards this. For the past week I have chosen to slow down. Remove myself from people. It has helped so much. Balance between teaching classes and being alone. Yay

  • @lormibae9069
    @lormibae90694 жыл бұрын

    I needed to hear this today 💯 thank you 🙏🙏🙏

  • @vinandasawmy8053
    @vinandasawmy80534 жыл бұрын

    We are in 2020 and some people are still fighting who is first or second when someone uploads a new video.

  • @walklikeanEzyptian

    @walklikeanEzyptian

    4 жыл бұрын

    Truly said

  • @afnanadit1029
    @afnanadit10294 жыл бұрын

    Wow! Jay you edited the words so well. absolutely loved it.

  • @sunshine2222ful
    @sunshine2222ful4 жыл бұрын

    i'm so in love with your videos....they are so enlightening. Thank you so much for making a diff in my life.

  • @hariniharini4611
    @hariniharini46114 жыл бұрын

    Superb words...that gives us the great sprit...

  • @doctornitrous2626
    @doctornitrous26264 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for making these videos ...and reminding us some important things that we tend to forget in the daily routine @jay shetty

  • @carladewaal326
    @carladewaal3264 жыл бұрын

    Masterpiece Jay Shetty and Paul Brasil. Top Thanks

  • @watigunatara3109
    @watigunatara31094 жыл бұрын

    Just beautiful, thank you 🙏 🙏 🙏

  • @thesecond5582
    @thesecond55824 жыл бұрын

    Salute you Jay you’re working a lot about the Mental Health lessons!!

  • @MRI197
    @MRI1974 жыл бұрын

    This is perfect thank you!! ❤️

  • @muskanchandwani2629
    @muskanchandwani26294 жыл бұрын

    Very well put together... It's just everything makes sense 😊

  • @terryskitchen337
    @terryskitchen3374 жыл бұрын

    I felt motivated after watching this...#Greatmessage Thanks Jay

  • @vikramsolanki3544
    @vikramsolanki35444 жыл бұрын

    Burn-out is when u want to stay in rather going out,saying no rather saying yes... Brilliantly said JAY Always inspiring

  • @MrCarte023
    @MrCarte023 Жыл бұрын

    😮 this was amazing, never have I heard something so accurate to myself 🥺 thank you sharing this means more then you know! I’m a Young entrepreneur worried about everyone around me Instead of myself. Thank you again🙏🏾🔥

  • @paramasivamj4217
    @paramasivamj42174 жыл бұрын

    It's amazing. Thanks for this video 😊😊

  • @anilam6586
    @anilam65864 жыл бұрын

    Thank you you so much. BM Anila from Bahrain. So So true

  • @androidlloydwebber4644
    @androidlloydwebber46444 жыл бұрын

    Thank you.

  • @innerpeacemeditations1613
    @innerpeacemeditations16134 жыл бұрын

    Boundaries and self care-it’s taken a lifetime to get a hold of for me, I’m still working on it ❤️🙏☀️🦋

  • @_..kit.._
    @_..kit.._2 жыл бұрын

    this was amazing thank you so much

  • @danieldraxler5700
    @danieldraxler57004 жыл бұрын

    that's one of the best from your videos

  • @LouisaRodriguez714
    @LouisaRodriguez7144 жыл бұрын

    Just what I needed to hear this morning. I'm at that point!

  • @rayna599
    @rayna5994 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for this...

  • @ganyanajoanrivers4988
    @ganyanajoanrivers49884 жыл бұрын

    Wawooo this is for me and I thank God I stopped putting myself on fire to make others warm it's self time God first then me second other's following the second one would have been my Mom because I loved her so much more than I loved myself but sadly she left me in June 26 2019 RIP my beloved Mom through this situation I learned a lot.Thanks for the video man

  • @jamaicayardtv7718
    @jamaicayardtv77184 жыл бұрын

    As long as im feeling the Fresh air going tru my Nostril there is hope because I'm alive . live ur best life today

  • @techtalks1673
    @techtalks16734 жыл бұрын

    Jay!!!!!! Love from INDIA!!!! CARRY ON. WE R WITH U EVERYTIME AND EVERY SECOND MY GOD!!😘😘😘😘😘😘

  • @ARJAY222
    @ARJAY2223 жыл бұрын

    "You do not have to set your self on fire to keep others warm" *AND THAT IS ON PERIOD*

  • @SUDIRISING
    @SUDIRISING4 жыл бұрын

    You are a blessing 🙏

  • @mcdull81
    @mcdull812 жыл бұрын

    That really hit me hard….thank you Jay ❤

  • @ravisuriyal2652
    @ravisuriyal26524 жыл бұрын

    hypnotized.....all words are just like the diamonds 💎

  • @Grace-ru6zi
    @Grace-ru6zi3 жыл бұрын

    I really needed to hear this

  • @ncyydeadshot2147
    @ncyydeadshot21474 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Jay Shetty❤️

  • @amrita770
    @amrita7704 жыл бұрын

    Thank u so much jay

  • @theiiimmmsss
    @theiiimmmsss4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you🙏🏻

  • @itensubba6022
    @itensubba60224 жыл бұрын

    Your video is as always good

  • @kewalpatil
    @kewalpatil4 жыл бұрын

    Wow the first few minutes gave me goosebumps

  • @amritakanda3034
    @amritakanda30344 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely true 💞💕 selected words matters

  • @okposunday7605
    @okposunday76054 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Jay🙏

  • @Joker-ny9qk
    @Joker-ny9qk Жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @anthonybrisita8302
    @anthonybrisita83024 жыл бұрын

    love this!!!

  • @sajjadali1902
    @sajjadali19024 жыл бұрын

    amazing !

  • @vukkomsija
    @vukkomsija4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @dikshagupta3430
    @dikshagupta34304 жыл бұрын

    Thankuu soo much😊😊 This video lights my mood

  • @manojthakor5785
    @manojthakor57854 жыл бұрын

    thank you sir

  • @mdashiqueatique9146
    @mdashiqueatique91463 жыл бұрын

    Thanks brother

  • @ingridfaro7442
    @ingridfaro74424 жыл бұрын

    brilliant

  • @cblanchhiphop
    @cblanchhiphop10 ай бұрын

    The opening analogy was dope

  • @leeannamaiyang5495
    @leeannamaiyang54954 жыл бұрын

    Wow.. this hit me so hard.. thank you

  • @azamali2096
    @azamali20964 жыл бұрын

    Burnout all the limits...... No, take deep rest Thank you sir

  • @linaslife1
    @linaslife14 жыл бұрын

    This video is AMAZING 🤩 thanks so much, Jay Shetty. I think I may be a little burnt out :(

  • @gracejasinthpriyadarsini2489
    @gracejasinthpriyadarsini24892 ай бұрын

    Awesome speech

  • @ganeshpatane3585
    @ganeshpatane35854 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Jay....

  • @RebornYourself
    @RebornYourself4 жыл бұрын

    He is a inspiration for me 🙏🙏 Because of him i started my channel so i can also improve someone'sl life.

  • @ravidilawari1432

    @ravidilawari1432

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes. True he is a true inspiration. You also doing a great work.

  • @JyotiYadav-yd7tv

    @JyotiYadav-yd7tv

    4 жыл бұрын

    You are right he is a true inspiration.i love his voice😍🔥😘😘

  • @ravidilawari1432

    @ravidilawari1432

    4 жыл бұрын

    ✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

  • @kaanchinegi4187

    @kaanchinegi4187

    4 жыл бұрын

    Whenever I feel overwhelmed and disturbed he is the only who can make me alive again.🙂🙂🙂 Great work @reborn yourself if you are doing the same work like him.👌 Jay shetty is a great monk motivater😊❤️

  • @JyotiYadav-yd7tv

    @JyotiYadav-yd7tv

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes you are right @kaanchi he is the best monk motivater and doing work like him is appreciable 👌🙏🙏🙏

  • @youknowwho9203
    @youknowwho92034 жыл бұрын

    No one is worth giving your time for except for the one person you love more than anything in this world, because from your perspective they’re the ones who really deserve it, not your parents, not your siblings, not your children, not who you call your BFF.