We were going to recreate the final stand scene from Ryan in this video, but couldn't quite book a real Tiger tank on this occasion. We felt it'd be a cheap cop out to do it without a real one. What would you have us do? Badly tart up a T34 to look like one? I think not. No way! Anyway, cheers to War Thunder for sponsoring this, go play it: playwt.link/squire

@Mr_Max103

4 ай бұрын

T34 Would be lovely

@ONI_002

4 ай бұрын

this would be a bad joke on any other channel, but with your history of working with bovington its a reasonable excuse😂

@Weird_lego_guy

4 ай бұрын

Why did you use the cardboard scopes in this video

@jtjk9186

4 ай бұрын

@@Mr_Max103oh no

@jamesbednar3108

4 ай бұрын

Could have made one out of cardboard

I lost it when the "Scope" of the Kar98 fell off, followed by the Sniper using the iron sights but the camera of his pov still looking through a scope xD

@greycatturtle7132

4 ай бұрын

Yea 😂😂😂

@richardarcher7177

4 ай бұрын

Squire takes his continuity far more seriously than Hollywood.

@Gurupimp10

4 ай бұрын

Ye and that was funny that they keept that in, its funny that you don't get that :D

@thurin84

4 ай бұрын

i mean hes an ace sniper from the sniper school at zossen. if anyone would use iron sights he could. anyway they needed the cardboard for the war effort to make boots out of.

@michelguevara151

4 ай бұрын

hollywood standards of excellence! true to real life historical events and obviously oscar material, or at least ivan award to hand out.

“Wait, they’re all Ivans?” “Always have been.” _Fires Tokarev_

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually got a train for this

@gavinstricklin9512

4 ай бұрын

Me neither

@oler777

4 ай бұрын

At this point, I would be surprised if they made any new Contant

@thurin84

4 ай бұрын

the ivan express.

@jun.subere4319

4 ай бұрын

same here comrade

@ChunkyMonkey07

4 ай бұрын

Literally tho

"Don't make eye contact it will just encourage him" lmfao

@snekcube107

4 ай бұрын

just get a flintlock pistol and you're good, works on bloodborne at least

I’m still waiting on the rat to pop up with the “this is 100% accurat” sign

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Hahah! We need that.

@Falkriim

4 ай бұрын

The Horrible Histories rat? Lol

@YourGodStalin

4 ай бұрын

To be fair, the report about him missing and the 3 brothers being dead already wouldn't have been made in the first place.

@SomeOne-gm5md

3 ай бұрын

@@Falkriim "This is 100% accurat! Private Ivan was based on a real Soviet soldier during World War Two. (But the bit about the potatoes is silly. I prefer cheese)" - Rattus

@Falkriim

3 ай бұрын

@@SomeOne-gm5md LOL, man that was a good show

"traitors dont get potatos.." holy shit im now desperate to engineer a situation in my humdrum life where i can use this beautiful expression.. :-) awesome guys, thankyou for the smile

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Absolutely the best line in this script.

@diquadhumungersaur492

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedy an actual lol.. gold lads .tah

@PaulRudd1941

4 ай бұрын

​@@diquadhumungersaur492 Yukon gold... potatoes! You could say, but, I won't. That, is for you.

@FShani

4 ай бұрын

Lines like this are best used without any context among people that know you casually.

@Leon-bc8hm

4 ай бұрын

If you live in the US you can say that to all the MAGA you come across.

7:39 Ah, good to see the tradition of Squire Scopes hasn't been lost to time.

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Time and love went into bending that cardboard into shape.

@Caldera01

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedy Toilet paper rolls?

The fact that "Ivan" is pronounced completely wrong for an entire video only makes it funnier.

@izzi8459

4 ай бұрын

Especially when it would have sounded just like "even" for the joke lmfao

@thecursed01

4 ай бұрын

who cares.

@ya-drug

4 ай бұрын

@@thecursed01 I care.

@McNab1986

4 ай бұрын

@@ya-drug But who cares that you care?

@ya-drug

4 ай бұрын

@@McNab1986 Me, myself and I.

"Traitors don't get potatoes" might work its way into some work calls and emails. Great video as always.

@williamteuthorn7413

3 ай бұрын

Is potato

7:08 "Im gonna show you where that sniper is," *stands up and gets headshotted* "Ugh.... did anyone see where that came from?!?" i busted out laughing when i saw that

@Lonovavir

4 ай бұрын

It's less meta than pulling out a script and reading it aloud.

i knew i had to watch this from the second i read the title. the amount of quality, love, effort, and production value you put into your videos never gets old.

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for that! Jolly kind.

@Mullac23

4 ай бұрын

I agree this one is totally jokes.

@jtjk9186

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedysame

@blas610

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedy can you do if a bridge too far but from the German perspective

No need to "rescue" Ivan, he's already home, in his homeland.

@oooshafiqooo

4 ай бұрын

Ivangorod?

@dersaegefisch

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, and what's all this about sending potatoes to his mother? The only mother he needs is mother Russia! And in that case you'd be sending mother Russia her own potatoes. Completely pointless!

@fosphor8920

4 ай бұрын

Motherland*

@mjfan653

Ай бұрын

As the 'ol saying goes: "my address is no house nor street, my address is the USSR" A depressive saying, about how life in the ussr was so dull it didnt matter where you lived, you were still gray matter, state property.

This guy is more harder to find then the Romanovs I laughed at that part honestly

@GenX1964

4 ай бұрын

Hack reference. 25 years late. What is even happening here?idk

Ivan was immediately shot by his officer

@random_dog-jf5ud

4 ай бұрын

thx for spoiling it

@larryalvares1369

4 ай бұрын

@@random_dog-jf5ud it was pretty obvious. If there is anything that is Soviet, you know that it’ll involve an officer shooting one (or several) of his own men

@random_dog-jf5ud

4 ай бұрын

@@larryalvares1369 but why give away the punchline ?

@larryalvares1369

4 ай бұрын

@@random_dog-jf5udthat’s literally the same punchline used in a good chunk of Western films about the Soviets in WW2

@michelguevara151

4 ай бұрын

colonal ivan ivanov ivanovich promptly shot him for delinquency

Comrade commisar Squire and bill really should be movie directors.

@raketny_hvost

4 ай бұрын

We already have tonns of crap like EaG or T-34, thx

Shame about Mama Ivan not getting her 4 bags of potatoes.

@thurin84

4 ай бұрын

4???? looks more like shell be getting 30+!

@thecursed01

4 ай бұрын

she raised a traitor. she got sent to glorious gulag

@WanderlustZero

4 ай бұрын

Traitors don't get potaters

@user-ku4yh4xc9s

3 ай бұрын

Potato is for weaklings, real ruzzian eat frozen turnip straight from the ground. 😂

@gryffen9608

3 ай бұрын

No, she received none. They had to shoot her, too. She's an Ivan. "Traitors don't get potatos"!

Can’t believe bovington didn’t hook you up with their tiger lol

Soundtrack from Call of Duty 1, Company of Heroes 2 and Enemy at the Gates. Ahh man of culture

"Colonel Yankhisarmoff" - cuts to 1:20...1st Class...🤣

"Do you know how to shoot, Comrade Sheitzev?" 'A shittle."

11:20 the use of Company of Heroes 2's music was fantastic🫡

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Glad somebody picked up on it! :)

@Anymin

4 ай бұрын

Was very nice to hear some coh2. ура!

@sovinr8658

4 ай бұрын

@SquireComedy getting a response from the man himself is the most amazing feeling, I appreciate it, Ivan.

@sargesacker2599

4 ай бұрын

On the subject of music it is nice to hear COD 2 comrade sniper victory at 7:03

@daniellxnder

3 ай бұрын

​@sargesacker2599 "Well, looks like our numbers didn't come up, Vasilli. Not yet, anyways"

"Shut up you're going to give our posit.Proceeds to empty a drum.💀

I like the green tracers due to the barium at 1:10 means he is getting shot at by other Russians lol. I also like that you guys just kept your accents, just like all the British soldiers who fought for the Soviets in Enemy at the Gates.

That's by far the most realistic war film about saving anyone, ever made.

The Ivan puns are great.

“He’s missing sir” Stalin: he’s dead or a deserter

I have a great friend named Ivan. And I also have an obligation to do my duty. Good soldiers follow orders!

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Had* a great friend

@antonkrieg3708

4 ай бұрын

Good Officers command without doubt.

Maybe one day, " saving private Jaques" ?

@ranick0622

4 ай бұрын

Jaques wouldn't be hard to find

@iank6897

4 ай бұрын

Left behind during the retreat

@thurin84

4 ай бұрын

that would be a very short movie.

@RIlianP

4 ай бұрын

Well that stipulates that France actually fought in the war, not just got trampled and awarded participation medal in the end.

@iank6897

4 ай бұрын

@@RIlianP They did, and did pretty well.. for half a year. Shame for the soldiers that their leadership was incompetent/defeatist

more like Enemy at the Ivangrad

Love the return of the cardboard scope gag

boys you out done your selves with this one, I'm in stiches the beauty of satire with enemy at the gates and saving private Ryan is something I thought I would never see. You legends.

"Getsarmov". Outstanding!

Now you gotta do "If Bridge on the River Kwai" was a Japanese film, and have the British PoWs go on about their ethical and humane treatment by their captors, and how happy they are to volunteer for a Asian property project.....or something.

rest in peace ivan, ivan, and ivan

Happy to see your idea has finally come to fruition. (I met you during Tank Fest 2023 and asked about future videos and you mentioned "Saving Private Ivan". Wished you sticked with that title but oh well!

Love the late war production K98 optic. Wartime production sure took a nosedive.

when ivan saved sudenly the general launching order 227

Saving OUR Private Ivan

"traitors don't get potato's, good catch" - love it, whole video is great !

Script & Plot to Soviet version of Saving Private Ryan: Opens on Scene of Stalin smoking his pipe, saying, "When you kill one, it is a tragedy. When you kill ten million, it is a statistic. I'm not wasting ten soldiers of the People to get back one individual." Scene Irises Out The End

@tobyalder42

3 ай бұрын

And also to the real-life version

I have not laughed this hard at a KZread clip all year. I most certainly expected nothing less from Squire. Always putting out the best material. So well done.

I'm shocked Gaijin even permitted this, for obvious reasons. I'd be afraid of the Bluecaps knocking on my door 😂

it seems like the basement guy want some oscars..

I can't wait to see you parody Masters of the Air. It's ripe for it.

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Our video is less than 2 weeks away. :)

How did you afford Ron Perlman?

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

I know, I know. We got in touch with his agent, he happened to be in Norfolk/Suffolk the exact week we were shooting.

@thurin84

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedy so whens the hellboy spoof?

Scope falls off and the sniper is still looking through crosshairs.

This video kinda reminds me an idea I had with my chumps while chilling - A "Saving Private Ivan" movie that would be about a squad of prisoners recruited by the Wagner's group that would get their parole from their sentences in prison by doing a special mission. And the mission would be for them to go behind the enemy line to find titular Private Ivan which they would have to smash his head with a hammer for desertion :P

@heinzthorvald4675

4 ай бұрын

kek

The production value goes up every video. Amazing work!

Much better then the prequel "boiling bombadier bryan". Worst part is they weren't even trying to boil him, just spilled some tea. The bombadier's position was like a massive soup bowl. The most heroic part was the pilots who took special care not to spill a drop.

Saving Private Ivan? Is Ivan better than Ryan or is Ivan worse than Ryan at war? 🧐

the title should be from Saving Private Ryan to Shooting Private Ivan

They are still shooting themselves in the foot to this day.

The ONLY KZread channel where I actually look forward to the Ads

The best video you chaps have done so far - very well done!

I can tell maximum effort went into this.. Subbed.

Dunno why but i imagined bill with the word "TWATSKI" on his helmet

I love the Monty Python erference in the War Thunder commercial ;-)

These are absolutely brilliant! Well done!! Keep up the great work, guys!!!

i wasn't expecting the twist, but i loved it, wonderful job that was incredible

Grundy feels like this is what would happen if Monty Python ever made a world war II movie.

They sacrificed their lives for Comrade Joseph Ivan.

I see your craft is coming along nicely! Well done.

I love how the sniper could see through the scope, even though he took it off

я удивлен что они не дали 1 винтовку на троих,так еще и ППШ у кого-то был. Это видео о том чтобы было если бы Спасти рядового Райана трахнул фильм враг у ворот.

No vodka, no balalaika, no dancing bears, no big theater ballerines. Is it really russian movie?

@moxie_ST

2 ай бұрын

It is Soviet one comrad , and on budget to 😁 But if you want to cosplay as Soviet bear next time (for free off course), you are welcome comrad ❤🎉

@user-ke6xw1xn2f

2 ай бұрын

@@moxie_ST very tempting, bro, i'd love to. Sometimes I really cosplaing bear, especially, when I really drunk. And I have very beautiful ballet dress. It remains only to revive USSR, to make movie really sovietic. For motherland, for communism, for workers of the world. If our fate will be favourable, i'll be glad to see you. 👋😺

@moxie_ST

2 ай бұрын

@@user-ke6xw1xn2f yes comrad, one day destiny will bring us together, and it will be glorious, votka will flow and songs will be loud 📢🔊 And at the end we will dance like two drunk 🐻's ps- I am looking forward that 🤟😉

Another great job guys! Right down to the old guy sniper looking like Ed Harris! The card board scope brought back the memories as well😅

You always end up making the best videos. Great job!

The opposite of an I am Spartacus moment.

They managed to not kill a single German in the howl video

YESSSS ANOTHER ONEEEEE. Told my Military history teacher about these after he bashed Upham for being the most pointless character EVER. LOVE THESE THANK YOU SO MUCH SQUIRE

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Yeees, good man!

Still more historically accurate than Saving Private Ryan or Enemies at the Gate. 😂

@PredatoryQQmber

4 ай бұрын

Maybe for a victim of Holywood's chauvinistic imperial propaganda and American education system.

*Blocking detachment want to know your location, comrade*

You know the scenes in black and white were quite cinematic and well done. Nice one chaps.

I knew were you was going with this as soon as he said what he missing i knew he was going to hunt him down and deal with ivan

12:05 hacksaw ridge reference? 🤔

If it were a russian film it would never have been filmed. His families sacrifice makes them heros of the soviet union. All for the mother land!!!!! Dlya Rodiny!!!!!!

It's rare that I sit through a whole-ass ad because they're so entertaining. Different topic that War Thunder is exactly what led me to you in the first place. Well done Squire, onward and upward!

Double thumbs up. You guys are Catapulting the Backyard War Film Genre. Keep it up

The Russian embassy isn't gonna like this.

@louditalian1962

2 ай бұрын

They won’t care cause they make their own comedy sketch of American movies.

no tiger 131 ? I thought you had a year-round subscription to use it

Your videos are really, really cool. Thank you!

Love this one of the best saving pruvate ryan spoofs i have seen

I still swear you have to be Rowan Atkinson's son! Another hilarious short, cleverly written that had me chuckling the whole time! Great show lad!

its kinda ironic seeing you guys do a war thunder sponsorship of all things...considering like half of your sketches are about war thunder in the first place! Heck this whole channel basically carried War thunder's publicity on KZread! The "Most Expensive War thunder video" comes to mind! I do hope they pay you well...XD, They kinda owe it to you guys!

The compensatory bag of potatoes for a families sacrifice reference was spot on. You know they also do sack of onions, too.

that enemy at the gates music goes hard.

Making use of those Soviet uniforms before they're reused for mobiki? Now THATS squire-ing.

5:06 - I haven't looked this up, but I think "whorethunder" might be a very different, all be it equally exciting, game.

I just got surgery on my sinuses thanks for cheering me up

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Sinus stuff sucks mate, get well soon!

@Squatchy9393

4 ай бұрын

@@SquireComedy thanks

Yaaaa new video😊

@SquireComedy

4 ай бұрын

Yeeeees

nowadays its leaving private ivan

So unrealistic. That TT-33 didn't even accidentally go off and injure it's owner.

All quiet in the western front.

The music ques from COD2 and Enemy at the Gates got a smile out of me.

I like my own comments

I didn’t like my own comment

@ChangedCauseYT-HateFoxNames

4 ай бұрын

*F-U I DID*

@notwofie

4 ай бұрын

Based.

@OperatorJackYT

4 ай бұрын

Very *Based*

@gabecollins5585

4 ай бұрын

DO NOT LIKE MY COMMENT

@Fullerton_Railfan7706

4 ай бұрын

@@gabecollins5585ok I won’t you’re welcome :)

"Traitors don't taters" is definitely my new favorite quote

I adore this channel :D Top job, lads!

I liked my own comment

@hassandoherty7615

2 ай бұрын

I liked it too

@luisf2793

2 ай бұрын

Our comment

@noureldinissa3228

2 ай бұрын

Heretic

@massimoilfrassino-yr2bf

2 ай бұрын

🥶🤯🤯🤯😱😱

@johnwallace3990

2 ай бұрын

@@luisf2793😂😂😂