You thought-provoking content never fails to astonish me! Love this podcast

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

thank you, annie!! that means the world to me 🫶

Girl you make so many good points, I don't even know which one to follow up with. The irony is that somehow we all seem to be stuck in a vicious circle of comparison. ''Heather'' is also constantly comparing herself with other ''Heathers'' and most importantly, each one of us is ''Heather'' to another. I think the cure lies in celebrating each other's presence regardless of our backgrounds and making that the norm. I love the way you carry out your arguments and your voice is so smooth I could literally listen to you for hours 🤍🤍

Thank you for saying all of this. This is how I feel all the time as one of the few Chinese girls in a very white law school. And I’m sure I’m not the only one that has gained so much reassurance and encouragement from this video. It’s so incredible how you are addressing this tough topic in such a confident and powerful way. 💗🌹

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i'm so glad! it's something that i'm sure so many people have thought before, but fewer have publicly dissected. you are beautiful and wonderful, just as you are

i love your content. havent found anything else like it. informative, relatable, well researched- so refreshing

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i really appreciate that!! i was initially scared of posting bc what i wanted to talk about didn't align with the aesthetic vlogs that i saw on my home page, but i'm glad i just decided to make what i wanted to make right now :)

You're very self aware and emotionally intelligent! Some people have little ability to look inward.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

thank you! i spend a lot of time overthinking, so i figure it’s better to channel that into proper directions :)

@angelachannyc

Жыл бұрын

@@CeceXie viewership is low

Watched this two times. Some casual comments from an internet random: 1) It's really commendable that you're able to be vulnerable with everyone on the internet. I wouldn't have the balls but I admire that you are able to do that. 2) It sounds to me like you aren't able to love or approve of yourself without significant external validation. I'm not saying other people's opinions don't matter because you do have to consider that, but it shouldn't so heavily factor into your own relationship with yourself - how you love and appreciate your own qualities. 3) Most of the time, you can't think your way out of emotional pain. I sorta sense that you're trying to do that. Besides finding the lessons you can take from this and looking into your past to gain awareness on what brought you here, you should also just soothe yourself and just simply be present to the pain to emotionally process things/heal. Like cry if you need to. 4) Good info on intersectionality and essentialism, learned some cool stuff from this ep.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

thanks for your thoughts! external validation is 100% a thing i struggle with (i’m an enneagram 3), and it’s something i’m actively working on. (although working on it while being online is pretty difficult.) i know i can’t think my way through pain, but i do find thinking through recurring pains like jealousy helpful for reducing jealousy’s hold on me over time-like any therapy practice! thanks for listening, and i’m so glad you liked the new concepts i introduced!

@carolincloud

Жыл бұрын

​@@CeceXie It's great that you did work through & share those thoughts. It made me realize some things about my own thinking actually. The reason I brought up the external validation is that IMO you won't unhealthily fixate on others once you feel more grounded/confident about yourself. I think you already know that you have a lot of things those girls don't even dare dream of having 😂maybe they should be the jealous ones instead. Looking forward to more videos from you.

Interesting hearing a woman’s perspective of this phenomenon. As an Asian American man, I have this very real and analogous desire to be a muscular white version of myself. As if this would solve all my woes. I’ve always attributed this to the desire to fit into the dominant culture, but perhaps, as you conclude, it is also about money & success in our capitalistic society.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i totally empathize-i’ve been guilty of that line of thinking myself! i’m gonna have to continue thinking about it, but i definitely find a lot of my stressors tied to living in late-stage capitalism

Loving these video essays ❤

Your honest and pragmatic approach towards self reflection is priceless beautiful. You are rare and are the epitome of what every highly intelligent and aspiring leader wishes to be! Never underestimate your value or ability to achieve or create a life of abundance. Media platforms are designed to make you question and compare. Never change, your a gem!

I legitimately love your content so much. Look forward to your podcast every week!

This year I’ve had to learn how to be gentle with myself. I am so guilty of comparison and the resulting self flagellation. I’ve had to overhaul how I approach work/habits by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my habits that give me stability (ex. journaling/working out) - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on my channel. I have no clue what my bigger goals are. I’m just hoping building a solid routine and taking care of myself will give me a solid foundation and nurture the creative side of me I’ve repressed for so long. Loved the video

Hi Cece, I applaud your courage in sharing such vulnerable moments of your life.

Dear Cece, thank you for such an insightful storytelling! I’ve watched every singe add with no skip so that you’ll never have to be jealous of Heather again

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

thank you, sophie!! that means a lot to me ❤️ i love researching and thinking through these topics and can’t believe others like thinking them through too with me 🫶

Cece, I appreciate you!! You are so bright and unique and I admire your honesty tremendously❤

This was fantastic! It’s interesting how you tied it back to money. It made me think about how money is security, and so is having social inclusion needs met by being a heather.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

100%! i think we ultimately crave security/a safety net in all its various forms, and in a different society, something else might provide more security than money (like strength? personal data?). it’s fun to think about!

As a black woman I feel you. We live in their world and sooner we understand better our life will be.

@travelingjohn69

Жыл бұрын

Why can't we make it out world?

@renabeliever3628

Жыл бұрын

@@travelingjohn69 Long Story.

This was so spot-on im and exactly described what I’m feeling - except my version of “Heather” is comparing myself to people of the same race/gender/age as me in my academic program. In my case, it’s Asian girls with perfect GPAs and with big name internships. Embarrassed to admit that, sometimes on days where I don’t feel academically “smart” or “enough” or professionally “accomplished,” I find myself incessantly scrolling through peers’ LinkedIn profiles to see what their GPA is or what their internships/extracurriculars are. Social media comparison in and of itself is a very toxic thing, but I didn’t recognize that, often, I was being jealous of people whose success I felt like I had to one-up because society categorizes us into the same “bucket” of being Asian women in business. Definitely will need to apply intersectionality more into my life and understand that equating myself to others purely based on demographic characteristics is a losing game. Loved the depth of research in this episode!

I really loved this, really gave me lots to think about. Thank you^-^

Beautiful content ! thank you Cece

I know too many Asian women who feel ‘inferior’ to white women/ppl. As you note it’s entrenched through the way society values asian things. Things are cheaper in Asia, asian food is cheap, the culture isn’t valued. But you have torn through those stereotypes - you are smart, have a book deal and are engaging in your own way. Not trying to criticise but hoping that you focus on celebrating your uniqueness rather than trying to be a Heather, or anyone else for that matter. Being exceptional, by definition, means not being like anyone else. I don’t find intersectionality helpful at all, as it focuses on groups of people. Focus on being an individual and my belief is that the money will follow. Wishing you well.

@ilovethebeach1877

Жыл бұрын

Ridiculous. Asians have set standards I'm their own country. In this country they are very valued. In fact there is a stereotype about Asians being highly intelligent. Do not make this a race issue. Your privlage is showing. Seriously just being born in this country you are already in the 1% of the world. That is why people xis trying to get here. Stop making this a race issue.

Thank you Cece! I am glad to not feel as alone in a world where race is a dominant factor in determining my own self worth, but also saddened. You are eloquent and so well spoken with your thoughts. I love how you illustrate these complex ideas with grace.

Love this insight and vulnerability ❤

holy cow cece! appreciate this!

Oh my gosh, I completely, totally agree. I’m currently 19 in college, and when I started experiencing these struggles as you mention, I just felt so incapable of understanding these complex emotions. It very much felt like I was in fifth grade again, trying to name racism without knowing any words or terms. Thank you for this video - i can relate to it so much

God, you are so brilliant with the way you make words flow into the most beautiful and expressive sentences. I cannot wait to read your book.

@CeceXie

5 ай бұрын

wow, thank you!!

I absolutely adore your content. You are so reflective and thought provoking and eloquent and resilient and inspiring and where there isn't a view count there are so many people like me who think so highly of your work and see it as deeply meaningful.

@CeceXie

11 ай бұрын

that's my goal :)

Very intriguing topic and definitely something I’ve thought about too being a first generation Asian immigrant occupying majority white, high SES spaces. I do think another point to consider is that essentialism makes it easier for the majority group to categorize and think about the minority group. It’s already “a lot of work” for the majority to sympathize with and improve the landscape for minority groups (assuming they do genuinely want to make changes), and many people don’t want to take the additional time and effort to create a slew of mental models to consider. Because of this tendency, it gives people who fall outside of the traditional protagonist figure (I.e an attractive, skinny, white girl or a hot, tall, smart, white guy) a burden of showcasing/calling attention to their own individuality. I think this is the point that makes me sometimes wish I could be a Heather, since I feel a burden to prove to others that I am uniquely me & not a representative of my race/ethnicity…. On top of everything else (“easier” financial success, better social standing, etc.)

I love this visual version. Enjoy looking at your expression

I like your historical and intellectual explanations and approach, I've hardly seen any WG youtubers do this you are already unique and way more interesting

After I made that comment a little while back about you talking about you more I think you're doing a great job of it by making videos like this. I feel like any time we provide a different point of view/perspective it gives you an opportunity to gain a lot of insight too. I'm a white dude from Colorado and went to a predominantly Mexican/black middle and high school and I was the minority, so I know how it feels/had I said a word about wishing I wasn't white everyone outside of my community would've stopped me and told me just how lucky I am.

I love this

Thank you for your wonderful and poignant honesty and for being someone we can relate to all too well. Please keep up your insightful content. I am so glad you are not afraid to talk about and unpack real issues that women of color face that others might dismiss.

I genuinely appreciate Cece. She is thought-provoking, introspective, and empathetic, and doesn't sell out by pandering to the masses and lowering herself for easy content. I wish her all the success in the world. No lie though, I hope she puts out anime/videogame related content sometime too LOL

This is so relatable. When I open Instagram and see nothing but these ... toxically happy ... 18-35 yr old women, with > 50k followers, sponsorships, brand deals, vacation photos to die for, luxury lifestyles etc... The content itself seems effortless and entirely aesthetic... It makes anyone who **isnt** a skinny, 25 yr old white girl with 100k followers on InstaTok feel like we're missing out on life although I acknowledge that these are just the lucky successful ones, and that a lot of similar women havent had success on those platforms, for no fault of their own: they were just unlucky. Also they're putting in a lot more work than it seems, I think/hope.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

totally. having tried a little bit to do what they do, i recognize it takes a LOT of work and effort to make content like that, and lifestyle content just inherently monetizes better. but it is disheartening to see POC creators have super aesthetic content, as well, and struggle more when it comes to monetization

the definition of success is up to you. Let's say you made gains and hit your subscriber goals this week...that's success

This is probably the reason why 50% of AW are in relationships with WM. It's sad.

I know it’s simplistic to suggest for a “Love Yourz” listen by J. Cole at these moments but sometimes it just does the trick. Like you’ve mentioned in the video, we don’t ever really know what others’ lives entail by looking from the outside and resorting to gender essentialism. I can def relate to a lot of the comparing you mention in this video, although not to white women. :P

Listening to you speak You have something so Much more Valuable in the Long Run. A Great Head on your shoulders.

Literally me!

Fantsastic episode. I recommend listening to it while playing the song "A Satisfied Mind" by Johnny Cash in the background.

You nailed it again. you make the only intellectually driven but completely non-pretencious podcast i've come across.. i'm thinking perhaps there's a Heather somewhere obsessing over the smart and original CeCe - someone who's grown completely disillusioned towards all that Heather-inclusivity, trying to break free but lacking the originality or just simply not knowing their inner self well enough to surpass their own external attributes. The reality also is that you're an attractive, fit, succesful woman who has a hella handsome bf - do you see yourself like that or are you just in your head ;) sorry for my english, too tired to obsess over it now 😅

I’m pretty sure you can reach out to Maggie Boles as is, mentioning me wouldn’t hurt either, we have an interesting history. She has podcasts as well through Straw Hut Media which she operates with her long term partner now husband. She has roots in the punk scene.

Learned something about American culture here from the fact that the stress of caring about your children's college funds is ever looming. This is such a contrasting perspective to what I'm used to - not being in debt for the rest of your life, not always hyperfocusing on the money aspect of life. It seems like this focus on money (and maybe status based credentials which require massive funds or loans) is necessary to "make it" in the US. At what cost? Thanks for sharing!

I want to hear Cece's definition of happiness and success in twenty years.

Hey Cece! What are your mic settings? I have the same microphone, but yours sounds so much better! I don't have a pop filter but would love to know how you have it configured.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i edit the audio in final cut pro x afterwards, which helps a lot! i used think media's guide to learn how to do it: kzread.info/dash/bejne/fKiIlcOHeM_Jj7Q.html

Don't worry about them you are just fine the way you are!! And more real in my opinion.

"spiraling of self loathing"?? I try to avoid that and keep my energy positive

Have you heard Heather by Conan Gray? It seems strangely fitting to what your describing.

Omg, you are so well-spoken :-). As an Asian-American, I would never compare myself to white women because it's just not comparable. I mean, I would never compare Switzerland to U.S because it's not relevant in so many ways. Idk, that's just my thoughts. Comparison is general is not good for you but we can't help it. If I were to compare myself to someone, it would be someone comparable in some way to me...background, race, and etc. Great topic!💜

Minute 10:00 slaps once you became poetic

It needs to be about YOU. Nothing wrong with being aware of Heather. You and you site will fail with too much Heather focus. Find the Amazing Cece. You are heading on the right track. Keep it up. Most important be you.

Many such cases

"Remember to use intersectionality whenever you feel jealous of someone else."

Im an asian man going through a lot of the same thought patterns. I liked the point you made about how we fail to treat ourselves how we would others who might be going through similar struggles - how we apply essentialism when making unfair comparisons involving ourselves. I wish I was a skinny white woman. I honestly do. I hope one day I dont.

@jostrander71

4 ай бұрын

Huh? 😂😂😂

What is your necklace?

Heather 😂😂😂

As a brown Asian I feel you girl

Tie your hair up Cece 🙏 Try the look 💯

Your podcasts are all mind-blowing! WOW! I've become addicted to them! Your voice-over ability is NPR level. Amazing!🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

I know a Chinese-American girl, who wants to be white, she had eyelid surgery, rhinoplasty, green contacts & dyed her hair brown.😮

An Asian woman’s rumination about white women she perceives more attractive is not substantively different than an unattractive white woman’s jealousy of Hispanic, Asian, or white women she sees as more attractive. Whether by divine intervention, brilliance, or dumb luck you have taken home the gold, and yet you can’t seem to appreciate that. There are tens-if not hundreds of millions of women-who will never have the blessings that have been bestowed on you, and yet you squander precious moments of your life obsessing and intellectualizing about abstractions like “essentialism”. For someone with so much going for her, that’s sad.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

sigh. please actually listen to what i say before launching into a tirade about me

you talk good

Racism in academia under the guise of intellectualism or, in the case you cite, a reference letter, is not surprising to me and demonstrates just how entrenched racism, antisemitism, and other bigotries have become and are perpetuated by people who are supposed to, but do not, know better. As for your self-criticism issue, I think it probably has helped you in life more than it has hurt you. For others, probably just the opposite. Either way, my advice is to study stoicism and be concerned with things you control, like your mind and expectations, and do not worry about things you cannot, like being a skinny white girl or the perceptions of others.

The reason why gender essentialism is so prevalent should be obvious to a lawyer. It's because of the framework of democracies (US in particular) will inevitably favor the interests of more unified, monolothic interest groups. And there's no more easily gaslit idea than that of group victimhood.

I think you are very conventionally attractive

The American standers 🤣🤣the title

@yoagi999

Жыл бұрын

This is so accurate !!! 💪🏾💯

Wow, cece …, you are brave. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 You kept referring this time off as …..”a sabbatical”. Do you hope to go back to a corporate world?

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i would rather not, but i am very aware of the realities of entrepreneurship

I see skinny people and feel annoyed that they don't realize or acknowledge that everything in life is easier when you're skinny lol

"intersectionality" is institutionalized racism with black gay women at the top of the totem

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

no, it’s not. please at least listen to that section or read the actual definition in the article that i have linked to before spewing such nonsense

@walkerking3875

Жыл бұрын

@@CeceXie that's the understanding I have of the term from learning about it in college 10-14 years ago. Regardless, I shouldn't have been late night commenting last night. Was a little buzzed

@Emberrebme

Жыл бұрын

@@walkerking3875 If you were not up to date with the current academic literature. Why did you make a scathing comment based on an outdated notion.

It's kind of funny to see you skip from musing and exploring like you're talking to a friend to quote important people like we're a college report

"lean" not "skinny"....

Sorry, I am just giving a suggestion, can you please look more at the camera? Please don’t take it in a rude way

taking your skin off your fingers? just wondering......

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i show how bad it gets in my applying to the ph.d. program vlog. view at your own risk! it's pretty gross imo

@1962diamond

Жыл бұрын

hello, and yes i did watch the finger picking. also have watched other ones you made. I find you a wonderful young woman, a woman though who has not accepted who you are. In some ways you remind me of my oldest daughter who is 27, she is the sparkle in my eye every day. as you, she is so SMART, and talented. but the person we really are is not only that. who we are is such a mix of emotional. I see you using this platform as therapy for yourself. to lay bare yourself to understand yourself better and to accept who that person is. my only loving advice is this might not be the best place to do that. I sincerely do not want you to be hurt in any way!!!!!

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

oh gosh, haha--don't worry about it. i don't see social media as therapy in any way for myself but do hope that it can be therapeutic for others to see how i process and think through my emotions (largely aided by past therapy). therapy is expensive!!

@1962diamond

Жыл бұрын

@@CeceXie so more of acting to get points across?

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

not at all. i think one can be vulnerable and share publicly without treating the disclosure like therapy with a therapist. i have a therapist-youtube would not be an appropriate stand-in

Too big ego.

You are not a victim here. You are extremely privileged and well off. Better more than alot of white people. Asians are some of the wealthiest In the country.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i'm not saying that i'm not privileged. the title is merely a jumping off point for the rest of the discussion, which is less about race and more about self-acceptance and capitalism. please watch the video before commenting based solely on the title.

You are also skinny and beautiful so what do you have an issue with?🎃

🥇🥈🥉❤️ ur hotter than any wg lol

@ervor444

Жыл бұрын

True

You’re a skinny pretty Asian girl…. Not sure what the issue is here. Just remember beauty fades.

Not Heather, more like Stacy or Tiffany, but the way you talk makes it sound like you're talking down on people :(

First, you can never be a white skinny girl, second, there are negative stereotypes for white skinny girls. So the grass is not always greener out there. You do what you can do the best.

@cocomarineblu993

Жыл бұрын

She’s already skinny with light skin, has money, is educated, etc like ….

Why does everything have to be a racial issue? Please!

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

did you even listen to the episode? it’s not a racial issue

But your skin is already whiter than mine and I’m “white” to say you aren’t privileged as fuck or oppressed or something dumb. You have had way more privilege just based on your education and work history.

@CeceXie

Жыл бұрын

i'm not saying that i'm not privileged. the title is merely a jumping off point for the rest of the discussion, which is less about race and more about self-acceptance and capitalism.

I bet part of the reason u don’t share that same obsession for acceptance from men like u do w women is bcuz men are constantly throwing themselves at women esp attractive ones which I honestly think youre what most men find attractive (petite, pretty hair & skin, feminine facial features) & so like most ppl I think, u tend to chase what u feel is out of reach bcuz women don’t give u that same validation or feeling of acceptance that men are constantly giving out to women who look like you. Also assuming u grew up in America, American men LOVE Asian women. I’d even argue most would prefer an Asian woman over the “conventionally” attractive blonde white girl. Women give out that “u gotta win me over” type of vibe, which sounds like what u mentioned about chasing bonds/ friendships w other girls as a kid/teen

i think you'd enjoy peter attia's podcast 226 on happiness, give it a listen if you have some time