0:00 Intro 2:14 Part One: "The Song" 2:55 TW "Ur So Gay" 3:30 End of "Ur So Gay" 8:53 TW Kesha/Dr Luke Lawsuit 11:36 End Kesha 12:05 Part Two: "Bisexuality in Pop Music" 25:38 Part Three: "Biphobia and Friends" 39:54 Conclusion

@lefu87williford55

3 жыл бұрын

Thank fucking god you mentioned that women refuse to date bi men. I can't find any videos talking about this from bi men, and this is the most I have heard a bi woman say about it.

@morley364

3 жыл бұрын

Wait wait wait. YOU were AmaterasuTao?!! Oh my god I just got forcefully thrown back into middle school memories

@meganjeffrey6207

3 жыл бұрын

"Opression is not a snuggie!" I need that on a pin or t-shirt. Also, THANK YOU for mentioning Aces in your discussion of LGBTQ+ communities. As an Ace woman who wanted to watch this video mainly in support of her Bi sister, that was a really pleasant surprise

@poisenlily

3 жыл бұрын

Is there any chance you can give links to buy those fabulous art pieces behind you? Or can you at least tell me who made them? Oh and I’m trying to figure out who that is in the piece right behind your head, is that Starfire?

@israsaleh

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for putting up timestamps, it took me months figure out how the chapters feature worked so I'm sure there are people who really needed this 🌈 Edit: the rainbow was an accident but I'm keeping it in lol

“The thing with bi-phobia is.. it comes at you from 2 sides.” Ahhh.. the i r o n y

@nosleep9816

3 жыл бұрын

Oh no-

@Radien

3 жыл бұрын

Well, I guess it's ironic, but it's also just cause and effect, unfortunately. :/ Bi people share a characteristic with two larger groups, so exclusion and gatekeeping are a problem in both of those groups. Sigh.....

@user-jn1wm3tb8v

3 жыл бұрын

@@Radien That made me think of Bronies. Part anime, part furry, not accepted by either.

@sombreidiote8588

3 жыл бұрын

the irony is that it's the same for lesbophobia, comes from places where you'd expect acceptance

@cindyk7055

3 жыл бұрын

@@user-jn1wm3tb8v Not an anime, though. Just simply a cartoon, since it didn't originate in Japan.

someone changing their sexuality or gender isn't a "loss" to the group they used to be a part of, it's them finding out who they were all along!

@c4tma4sk

3 жыл бұрын

this !!

@bandidocavalier

3 жыл бұрын

literally that was such a terf take kinda sad she didnt like. Call it out

@renny489

3 жыл бұрын

Yea I thought I was bi, I’m super grateful that my parents gave me room to sit and think about everything before I came out as a lesbian. Surprisingly my 50 yr old parents who was told that gay is a sin was more accepting and understanding of my sexuality than my own sister lol

@gh02tdu2t

3 жыл бұрын

@@renny489 its the same with me and my family! my mom does what she can to support me and understand my sexuality/gender identity and just be more open and accepting in general...meanwhile my brothers a ben shapiro stan

@ukrivu

3 жыл бұрын

so before i figured out that i am like. a man. i used to identify as a lesbian. and i used to be pretty open about it before the terfs attacked me and started misgendering me by saying "we just lost another lesbian" and like😃😃 thank you for making me feel like my identity isn't valid

As an ace person, it was a really nice surprise to hear mention of asexuality since it feels like we're usually left out of these conversations and discourse. I know it's not the main point of this video but I still really appreciate it.

@juliaabreus

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, specially being in a video about bisexuality. I spent most of my teenager years thinking I was probably bisexual bcs I felt the same way about girls than I did about boys and didn't know assexuality was a thing, and maybe somebody seeing it also didn't know it was possible and now they do.

@postrachsmietnikow

3 жыл бұрын

@@juliaabreus yeah honestly I think I went through every possible label in my 20 years of living (though mostly comp het) before settling on "probably aro/ace" around a year ago. The idea didn't even enter my mind until my friend's ex kind of came out and I did a little research on it. Honestly the awarness and understanding of asextuality is just bad amongst the general public so I wouldn't be surprised if many more people were struggling in the same way.

@japanesedinner0

3 жыл бұрын

same!!!!!

@nas6246

3 жыл бұрын

same !! gave me a jolt in the same way hearing your own name mentioned in a video would. was kind of refreshing to hear in a conversation like this

@genericangst8665

3 жыл бұрын

@@nas6246 same lmao I always kinda get a jolt whenever I'm watching a video and they mention asexuality like, "Ooh this doesn't happen much let's see what they'll sayyyy"

The fact that you're dating an ace woman gives me so much hope because I identify as an ace lesbian and always worry that no woman will ever love me because I'm ace it fills me with reassurance to see an allosexual woman in a fulfilling and loving relationship with an ace woman...

@bottomofastairwell

3 жыл бұрын

i feel that. I'm biromantic ace, but I still struggle with the ace label because my sexuality has changed throughout my life, and I absolutely struggle with relationships, because sex is such a huge part of them, and it becomes such a problem to navigate that within a relationship when you're ace. Like I don't really even bother dating anymore because of the sexual expectations of dating and relationships, and while I'm happy with myself and I love myself, it's still lonely sometimes and I wonder if I"ll ever find someone where it will WORK. So it's like super fulfilling to see someone being in a relationship with someone ace. definitely gives me hope.

@alexraven805

3 жыл бұрын

Fun fact: Back in the days ace lesbians had the nickname Bambi’s.

@kierstenburtz8442

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexraven805 awww! That's so hecking cute! Omg!

@beesinatrenchcoat-mu8xv

3 жыл бұрын

yo! lesbian asexual here! is totes possible to have a relationship, a loving, understanding and serious relationship. 💕💕 going on two years now!!!

@kierstenburtz8442

3 жыл бұрын

@@beesinatrenchcoat-mu8xv congratulations! That sounds amazing!

I kissed a girl is more a song about "I kissed a girl but now I'm gonna walk it back in all verses by explaining how I have a BF and i'm totally not gay!" than gay acceptance or finding your sexuality

@jujublue4426

3 жыл бұрын

It can be bicuriousity, when straight want to try something different but are still straight

@tc2241

3 жыл бұрын

Helped my sister-in-law accept she was bisexual; long story on that one 🙄

@aturtlethatisred

3 жыл бұрын

I liked that song from 2003 it really should have clued me in to being Pan, that and Sarah in Labyrinth.

@ren9897

3 жыл бұрын

I hate that line because it says "I hope my boyfriend dont mind it" which is furthering the stereotype that bisexuals will cheat

@laterzhaterzlmfao5468

3 жыл бұрын

@@windcrystal1349 how would you know? Did she tell you?

People: "being bi is transphobic!" Me, a bisexual transwoman: "huh?"

@minale3604

3 жыл бұрын

I still don't get why some people would believe that. As a bisexual person, I feel like the term is more discriminatory against trans people who aren't mtf/ftm (non-binary, agender, etc), since bi means two in greek and doesn't include more genders. Trans women are women and trans men are men, they aren't a third gender.

@lior5256

3 жыл бұрын

@@minale3604 Read the Bisexual Manifesto.

@jismislakhotia3564

3 жыл бұрын

@@minale3604 bisexual doesn't just mean two genders uh..............

@minale3604

3 жыл бұрын

@@jismislakhotia3564 from what I've seen in the manifesto, the bi part refers to a sort of binary spectrum, so my mistake

@greenrangeralex

3 жыл бұрын

@@jismislakhotia3564 it does

"Figuring out who you are in a hypersexualized world is very difficult and we do not give people room to safely do that." That line hit me really hard and thank you for saying it.

People continuously calling lady gaga an "ally" is gonna be the death of me I swear 😑😆

Wow, can't believe that you and that outfit invented bisexuality

@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick

3 жыл бұрын

We will never truly be grateful enough.

@pampoovey6722

3 жыл бұрын

Right! Can we talk about the ensemble? Amazeballs.

@socialistwhore2132

3 жыл бұрын

U ain't wrong

@lilamedusa

3 жыл бұрын

Right?

@simonpelletier8047

3 жыл бұрын

What? Bisexuality exists now? Good job, guys! You are now valid!

"Bisexual is the term that gave me power to be me" girl, what a powerful sentence. i feel this with being asexual.

@KingOfNothingLR

3 жыл бұрын

Ayyy asexual palss

@miavalentine8638

3 жыл бұрын

Same to me! It give me a sensation of freedom when I discovered my asexuallity and even more when I discovered my Aromanticity

@Naa45702

3 жыл бұрын

Same! I’m still feeling out the romantic attraction side. It feels fluid between Biromantic, Lesbian romantic, or Aro. Living as a hermit is not helping currently. I identified as Bi for a period of time because my sexual attraction was the same for all genders 0 = 0 lol

@jordanmchighlander9365

3 жыл бұрын

At first, I thought you meant that the term "bisexual" literally gave you super Saiyan powers.

@fisharecool2849

3 жыл бұрын

@@Naa45702 man I am in the exact same boat. like word for word.

"No label should only be defined by its worst players." I love that so much. We need to hear that more often.

As a lesbian I truly do not get how people discovering their true selves is seen as "lesbians disappearing," like we lesbians took time to figure ourselves out too! I personally applaud anyone who formerly identified as lesbian but figured out they're not - it's awesome that you're finding your true, authentic self, just as I formerly identified as demi-het, bi, and pan

Freddy Mercury, David Bowie and Lady Gaga are all revolutionary bisexuals who wrote fantastic hit songs, they are like the bi holy trinity of music

@foolishkai1822

3 жыл бұрын

I didn't actually know Freddie mercury was bi I always thought he was only gay

@annybrembeck6121

3 жыл бұрын

@@foolishkai1822 he had a wife and said he loved her but then they got divorced and it’s still not sure why

@Asehhar

3 жыл бұрын

@@foolishkai1822 bi erasure thats why

@iratakeuchi3031

3 жыл бұрын

@@foolishkai1822 that’s because he died of AIDS during the AIDS epidemic when it was considered the “Gay Virus”. Also the thought that if a man is bi, he’s just a closeted gay man. The bi-erasure for men is usually framed this way whereas for women it’s considered a phase.

@xxan4716

3 жыл бұрын

@@foolishkai1822 Bicycle Race is a song about Freddie just wanting to be allowed to be a bi man and people took it as a funny bike song.

My strongest memory of this song is when I was like 7 or 8, my family went to the pool and the song came on. It was super catchy and I started to sing a long. My mom then grabbed my wrist and told me to never sing that song again cause girls don’t kiss girls... and now I’m a lesbian 👁👄👁

@seraphywang4638

3 жыл бұрын

What a twist

@iBloodxHunter

3 жыл бұрын

You should brush that chip off your shoulder, it doesn't match your colors.

@seraphywang4638

3 жыл бұрын

@@iBloodxHunter Thanks for telling. I never liked doritos

@CeruleanWings

3 жыл бұрын

Oop lol

@purplepachi9191

3 жыл бұрын

Red velvet stan lesbian I see😌✨

Girl, the “where have the lesbians gone” article. I’m bi and dating a nonbinary lesbian and I just. That article felt so small-brained to me

@rattyeely

2 жыл бұрын

The article had heavy terf undertones

@mammoneymelon

2 жыл бұрын

yeah like lesbians are only "disappearing" if you're exluding trans and nonbinary lesbians or if you act like bi, pan, etc women are somehow inferior wlw - some lesbians (mostly older cis lesbians, not to generalize) refuse to date mspec women for whatever reason

@rachelmp2401

2 жыл бұрын

@@mammoneymelon but bi/pan/queer women literally aren't lesbians?? so those women existing has nothing to do with whether or not lesbians are "disappearing"?? i don't understand why you brought that up?

@vasimir3183

Жыл бұрын

@@rachelmp2401 i mean, some lesbians do consider bisexual women to be part of our community. it wasn’t always this way and lesbian used to be synonymous with sapphic before in-group fighting happened snd some lesbians today don’t agree with that exclusion (myself included)

I don't know why KZread recommended this to me even though I'm a straight cis guy who barely interacts with LGBTQ type content, but I'm honestly glad it did. I appreciated the way you criticized 2000s culture for using bisexual women and lesbians as eye candy for sleazy guys. It just resonated with me and I guess justified my problems with guys who fetishize lesbians. Also discussing how media's changing view of sexuality outside of heterosexual relationships makes me glad how we as a society are actually giving LGBTQ a fair shake. Sorry, if this was a little too long and rant-ish, I just really wanted to just tell someone how this video gave me a really nice epiphany. P.S.: Somebody already mentioned this in the comments but the "finding yourself in a hypersexualised world" statement was really well spoken.

@stevenhernandeznon-profitf968

7 ай бұрын

Well said sir!

"I wasn't GAY! I just thought woman were.. beautiful! and cool!" Okay you didn't have to be THAT relatable.

@bridgetphelan4742

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sangsty I've recently come to learn that I'm biromantic, Demisexual. I'm super happy you found what fits for you!

@patrycjamatlak6417

2 жыл бұрын

@@bridgetphelan4742 Cool, I’m biromantic asexual

@kitkatmelon

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I was absolutely in LOVE with this woman called Abby from a tv show when I was little but since lesbians were always portrayed as sluts so I was like NOOOO IM NOT GAAAYYYY I JUST LIKE WOMEEENNNNN

That video of Lady Gaga screaming “Arrest ME, Moscow!!!” at her concert in Russia gave me LIFE

@jasper_the_techie

3 жыл бұрын

AGREED

@ericmememan4632

3 жыл бұрын

and the interview where the guy asked her a creepy ass question about if she had a penis, and where she pretty much said "so what if i do, who gives a shit?"

@joni390

3 жыл бұрын

Gaga is such an icon

@Jane-oz7pp

3 жыл бұрын

@@ericmememan4632 best one I've heard from her is "It's just a little bit of a penis"

@cannibalisticrequiem

3 жыл бұрын

Eh. She had a chance to speak out against the Tr*mp administration when she performed at the Super Bowl halftime, and she didn't, leaving many moderates that claim to be "leftists" and conservatives to breathe a sigh of relief for her being "tasteful" and "respectful". She had a chance to do something radical and positive, but she squandered it so she wouldn't cause a ruckus. Bi or not, she's rather performative when she wants to be. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was literally told so many times that this song was really inappropriate and i couldnt listen to it, but you know Blurred lines, a song about r@pe culture was completely fine for my young ears

As a Lesbian, I am so sorry. I apologize for the Lesbians who made any Bi-sexual feel invalid, or unworthy, or anything like that. You guys are all beautiful, and wonderful people. I also apologize to any Absolutely LOVELY trans women who felt unworthy or invalidated by a lesbian. You are all so beautiful, and I love you all, and I am so sorry

@astolat2262

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, it okay, not your fault 💕

@electricbaby7315

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying that, it means a lot 💕

@livbrown4719

2 жыл бұрын

@@electricbaby7315 of course! You are wonderful!!

@livbrown4719

2 жыл бұрын

@@astolat2262 I know, but sometimes I just feel like there are too many Lesbians who give us a bad name, and I feel the need to apologize for them. WE DON'T CLAIM THEM.

@livbrown4719

2 жыл бұрын

@Poniest. Of course!!

I wanted to apologize for calling Janelle Monae a woman, they are non-binary! Thank you to those who reminded me to be aware of my language concerning non-binary folks. I'll make sure to take care in the future xx P

@grandsome1

3 жыл бұрын

Well, they've told us they were an advanced form of cybernetic life beyond our binary understanding in two albums after all. lol (Note: I am not implying that NB people are robots this is a joke y'all are great feeling thinking human beings!)

@04beni04

3 жыл бұрын

I didn't know they identified as such, so I appreciate the knowledge!

@fossilfighters101

3 жыл бұрын

@@grandsome1 ahah, yes, we are definitely not cybernetic robots. please continue to spread the word that we enby's are normal meat people, for this is correct. beep boop

@aquaintsound

3 жыл бұрын

Janelle hasn't given out specific pronouns, just so ppl know. I definitely was using them before I found out

@mariahjnaylor

3 жыл бұрын

@@aquaintsound On her twitter she has her pronouns as they/them and she/her.

"The year was 2008. I thought I was still heterosexual and believed I was going to marry Alan Rickman." Me, sweating profusely wondering how Princess got a hold of my diary.

@ZombieInvader

3 жыл бұрын

The ultimate dream being a bisexual polycule involving Alan Rickman.

@nowhereman6019

3 жыл бұрын

As a straight guy, I just don't understand why women are attracted to men.

@ZombieInvader

3 жыл бұрын

@@nowhereman6019 an attraction to Alan Rickman transcended attraction to a specific gender.

@carolm.7279

3 жыл бұрын

Pfff saaaame

@sockpuppetqueen

3 жыл бұрын

yeah that line was the oddly specific relatable cherry, on the top of an already extremely relatable video

“Where have all the lesbians gone?” Smells so terfy to me. Like they haven’t gone anywhere! I’m friends with 6, and am acquaintances with 3

@Spamhard

2 жыл бұрын

The whole framing of 'losing' lesbians to 'females who don't want to be women' was a real red flag to me for sure. Definitely had the scent of terfdom to it, even if that wasn't it's intention. JKR said similar about how we're somehow 'losing' women because they're becoming trans men, and yet somehow she doesn't count trans women as 'gaining' more women. Hmm. I'm glad Melina added the afterthought on about the discourse found.

@rattyeely

2 жыл бұрын

It's literally terf scaremongering. The number of lesbians is not going down, the number of bisexual and trans people is increasing. They have to frame it like those people could have been lesbians or lesbians are going away or something because they want to scaremonger and paint trans and nonbinary people as the enemy. In reality the number of people identifying as lesbians are on the rise, and you can be nonbinary/a trans woman and a lesbian too! Notice how they treat being nonbinary and being a lesbian as district things that are in conflict.

@Spamhard

2 жыл бұрын

@@rattyeely So true, terfs don't tend to consider nb or trans women as Legitimate Lesbians, or some shit. And somehow bisexuality just isn't seen as pure enough for these sorts despite still offering plenty of wlw and same sex relationships.

I'm a lesbian woman and I've never had a "bisexual phase". I'd had a boy crush once before I even hit puberty and then just tried to force myself into comphet mindset. But almost immediately after that, I fell head over heels in love with my female classmate. And then with my best friend. And again. And again. And I've never had feelings even remotely as deep for any man in my life, and *still* before coming out as a lesbian to my parents I tried to soften the blow with "I'm not gay, I'm bi actually!" which was so dumb, because my mom still says shit like "but you *might* fall and love with a boy someday and marry him, right?" Yes, Helen there's a 0.000000001% chance that I *might* but I wouldn't want you to count too much on it. So yea, this idea that every girl has bisexual tendencies and "experimenting phase" perpetuated by media and pop culture really pisses me off. It's okay for women to explore their sexuality but it's absolutely not okay to fetishize and monetize it.

"It felt so wrong, it felt so right" is such a great way to describe awakening queerness when you've grown up feeling shameful all the time.

@christopherb501

3 жыл бұрын

Hmm...new reading of the similar line from OneRepublic's "Catching Stars" then!

@books2438

3 жыл бұрын

@@christopherb501 ...oooooooh you’re right

@Burgerzaza

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, when you finally have a romantic moment with someone of the same sex after denying yourself that for years, its scary, exciting, and euphoric

That section about "Where have all the lesbians gone" infuriates me on a personal level. I am a transgender man. I am not a lesbian. I have many, many friends who are lesbians. I'm not erasing them, and I won't erase myself in the process to become palatable. Yes, I'm bisexual too. Edit: I didn't just wake up one day and "choose to be a man". I am not hurting lesbians, because I was never a woman.

@ahuman5772

3 жыл бұрын

I never identified as a lesbian lol, for a long time I identified as a bisexual man and only recently I discovered that I am more straight than bi, so idk no lesbian ever went anywhere

@movedlonely_space_egg1169

3 жыл бұрын

exactly! i am a lesbian and the idea that lesbians are "being erased" is so frustrating to me. even if trans men coming out was causing a decrease in lesbians, there are plenty of trans lesbian women to offset that. if transphobes would just accept people as the gender they are, they'd see that.

@blueberrymuffin36

3 жыл бұрын

As a person who identified as a lesbian for a long long time before realizing over a lot of agonizing that i was actually a trans man, quotes like that one have genuinely done me LOT of harm. Being told i was essentially failing my fellow lesbians by not actually identifying as one anymore is just... Not helpful yknow lol

@cariad561

3 жыл бұрын

Also they're the sort of people who'd deny that I'm a lesbian

@CorbiniteVids

3 жыл бұрын

The thing that gets me is that the only way these labels, gay and lesbian, will EVER go away is if we are no longer abused for our sexualities and allowed to like who we like without the need to organize behind it. As long as we are abused for our sexualities those words will always see use because there will always be a use for them: to organize behind for safety rights and joy. If we no longer need them then that is a sign that our highest goals have been met. From a contemporary perspective that scenario is damn near utopian but she's really out here MOURNING that hypothetical future all because people *might* not use that one word any more and some people these days feel like the labels don't describe their experiences and identities and that makes her feel sad😢. I don't know if people from her perspective have just been so sheltered from what the rest of us queers face that they have to make up issues in order to feel like they're going through a struggle while ignoring actual homophobia that does exist, or if they're just so traumatized that they can't even find it in themselves to fantasize about a post-bigotry world any more. But damn, either way it's exhausting. It serves absolutely no purpose to the gay and lesbian community and only exists to denigrate bi and trans people

being transgender, nonbinary, and ace, the number of times I had to pause and say "THANK YOU!!" was far larger than I expected

First time I heard that song was at a friend's pool party. I was ~12 I think. I remember thinking, "wait, did she say she kissed a *girl* ? She can do that?" Like it hadn't even occurred to me that that was an option before lol

@bearlyastar

3 жыл бұрын

same lol

For me, this song was the equivalent of a prisoner munching on moldy bread because it was all they had to eat. Nowadays there are so many gay female/bisexual artists for younger people to listen to, and that's a wonderful development.

@somegenerichandle

3 жыл бұрын

I never got into it because it just felt like a knock off of the same some by Jill Sobule

@andynonymous6769

3 жыл бұрын

Got any recommendations? ;)

@joneatsbagels7239

3 жыл бұрын

@@andynonymous6769 phoebe bridgers supremacy

@frankiemustdie

3 жыл бұрын

*cough cough* girl in red *cough cough*

@claraclonk

3 жыл бұрын

@@andynonymous6769 marika hackman, the japanese house, angel olsen, courtney barnett, soccer mommy, phoebe bridgers, japanese breakfast, julien baker, st vincent and lucy dacus are some of my favourite of many wlw artists! :D i could go on and on

2000s baby bis thought we were so slick. "I just think I Kissed a Girl is catchy. 😊" "Oh no I'm reading Strawberry Panic because I like the plot, I just skip over the scenes of them kissing. 🤭" "Megan Fox? I guess she's okay. 🤗" Delusion.

@MasteroftheDead

3 жыл бұрын

How dare you give me strawberry panic flashbacks my tiny bisexual heart just stopped

@DaPuGoKa121

3 жыл бұрын

So Strawberry Panic was the awakening for many of us huh

@WinningSidekick

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my god, Strawberry Panic 😩

@Intestinies

3 жыл бұрын

I'm loving all these replies, the bi collective unconscious. I know we all read it for "the story" but I literally could not tell you a single plot point.

@MasteroftheDead

3 жыл бұрын

I feel that in my soul. Couldn't tell you any thing about Maria-sama ga Miteru and yet child me watched it twice

Thanks for talking about ace exclusionary rhetoric in lgbt spaces. I first identified as asexual in 9th grade as a self deprecating joke after being continuously teased my entire life for not ever having an answer to the “who do you like” question. I had no idea it was a real sexual identity until five years later. I knew I didn’t work the same as my friends when it came to things like “crushes” from a very young age. Finding a name for it didn’t change who I was. I’d also love to see an exploration of how inaccessible queer spaces are to disabled people. Along with straight up ablism, there is also very little effort into making spaces accessible and just sort of a mild discomfort with the idea of disabled people having a sexual perspective. Also I know this is dumb, but I don’t think I have ever found a way to participate in Pride in my wheelchair. No one even considers us.

@rylanmerrick

2 жыл бұрын

I don't think that's dumb at all, you bring up a serious problem. Ablism and accessibility are a huge issue and it is important that people talk about it, I would love a video on that too. Pride should always be wheelchair accessible! As someone who doesn't use a mobility device, but can only stand for a limited amount of time (circulatory system problems) I find myself really taking a good look at how our society is designed for only those with full motor capabilities. It is infuriating and I have a hard time talking about it to people because I "look fine".

"and the problem with putting yourself into a box that doesn't fit is that eventually it will not hold all that you are" was incredibly comforting and validating

"I'm bi, because bisexual is the term that gave me power to be me" 😭😭✊

@niaranoctyrna3754

3 жыл бұрын

Love this! This is why I hate it when people invalidate other mspec labels because bi exists and we should all just have that as our label. Some of us feel comfortable being referred to as bi in addition to our other mspec identities and some of us don’t. But the key thing is that some mspec label that is not bi gives other people the same power to be themselves that you got from the bi label. Instead of forcing us to identify as whatever makes someone else feel powerful, we should be allowed to feel that for ourselves.

@disasterjones5798

3 жыл бұрын

I'll take "sentences that hit like an 18-wheeler" for $400, Alex

@emilymoran9152

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I still feel some anxiety around this because I've seen a bunch of definitions of bisexual vs. pansexual and I don't want to use a label that gives the wrong impression... I'm glad the latter seems to be coalescing around "attraction regardless of gender" because I know that DOESN'T fit. My attraction to different genders feels different, and I have multiple distinct "types". But it has nothing to do with whether someone is trans or not!

@celebrityguest.9530

3 жыл бұрын

YES THIS

@cariad123

3 жыл бұрын

@@emilymoran9152 bisexuality has always been attraction to all genders/regardless of gender, explicitly including trans and non binary people, and every attempt to change that came from non-bisexuals. Verilybitchie makes a lot of well researched videos on the history of bisexuality which I'd highly recommend.

As an aromatic asexual person, I appreciate how you talked about how we aren't considered valid by some members of the LGBTQ+ community. Of course we aren't discriminated like other members of the community, but that doesn't mean we don't have our struggles. I haven't come out to my Indian parents yet because I'm afraid they will say that it doesn't exist. Marriage is very important in Indian culture and I'm afraid even if I tell them, they will just tell me that I will grow to love my husband because arranged marriages are very common.

@bluester7177

3 жыл бұрын

I'm asexual, but I'm still confused about my romantic alignments and I heard so many times how lonely my life would be if I don't find a romantic partner to have children and live my life with, how friendships aren't as fulfilling, how I'm going to be alone when my parents are gone (I'm an only child) or how I'll change when I find the right person and also the "it doesn't exist and you just have trauma", It can be really tiring to always have to explain existing and fight for acknowledgement, I think the struggles exist, they are similar, it just people don't tend to look at me and be able to tell I'm not a straight, cis woman. I really hope you're able to tell your parents someday, and they accept you, my mother was fine with it, and I'm in Brazil, so maybe there is hope.

@cactushotsauce362

3 жыл бұрын

@@bluester7177 I agree with everything you said. People say you will be lonely and who will take care of you, I hope you find your romantic identity.

@qwandary

3 жыл бұрын

I had acephobics tell me that we don't get any discrimination as asexuals. And when I pointed out my drs forced medical conversion therapy on me, I've also has medical treatment refused because of my asexuality, we're also at risk of corrective r*pe by society. Anyway, telling them this, they just laughed at me and said we didn't have any civil rights invalidated. I figure sex education denying our existence or just skipping it could count as a civil one, although perhaps that's debatable. Either way, they kept shifting the goal post on me and mocking legitimate trauma (like conversion therapy, corrective r*pe, etc) to 'prove their point' that it being ace comes with no discrimination and we're 'just straight people' (baring in mind I'm not heterosexual either...). Acephobes are have shit for brains honestly.

@qwandary

3 жыл бұрын

Good luck with telling your family. I hope they understand the need to have some autonomy and don't consider forcing marriage on you. Arranged marriages can be great I'm sure, but forced ones fail to account for any autonomy. You need to have choices so you can find the safest route and life for yourself. I hope they understand this, or will grow to. Best wishes.

@cactushotsauce362

3 жыл бұрын

@@qwandary awww thanks. Your doctor actually tried conversation therapy on you?! That's so surreal to me, what did he say to you?

I appreciate you talking about the connection between acephobia and biphobia. They're incredibly interwoven in terms of being dismissed as "performative" and excluded for being either secret hets or fake gays/lesbians in the closet. So thank you.

I remember when Taylor Swifts, You Belong With Me came out and I hadn't seen the music video, so the narrative my adolescent brain came up with was that she was singing to A GIRL. That the entire song was her confessing to a girl. AND I SOMEHOW THOUGHT I WAS STILL STRAIGHT (for ref I'm pansexual)

Hearing the statements made dismissing Kesha's lawsuit always makes my blood boil. The part I don't get is why a private text message to a friend is considered defamatory. Is she just not allowed to tell anyone that she was assaulted unless she can 100% prove it? That's ridiculous.

@esbenm6544

3 жыл бұрын

A defamatory statement is a false statement of fact that exposes a person to hatred, ridicule, causes them to be shunned, or injures them in their business or trade. She might want to label Katy Perry as a friend, but in a legal sense she's someone they're both involved with professionally. Personally I believe her, but there's no getting around that her case was really weak.

@iBloodxHunter

3 жыл бұрын

@@esbenm6544 so as per usual, all of the bleeding hearts are greedy fakes.🙄

@iratakeuchi3031

3 жыл бұрын

@@esbenm6544 the text was to Lady Gaga do you not listen

@laterzhaterzlmfao5468

3 жыл бұрын

Its called silencing victims...

@laterzhaterzlmfao5468

3 жыл бұрын

@@esbenm6544 calling someone not suffering "enough"-whatever that means- having a weak case.. u can see urself out.

Not "the north remembers" I cannot LOL

@Princess_Weekes

3 жыл бұрын

💓💓 btw your work is phenomenal

@brian_Austin27

3 жыл бұрын

Yes love to see the support ❤❤

@flo4223

3 жыл бұрын

@@Princess_Weekes queens supporting queens 👏👏👏

@awesomedude5558

3 жыл бұрын

AAAHHHHH KHADIJA!!!!!!! I love seeing you supporting other Black youtubers!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD Edit: you don't need to watch only Black people. I don't know if I came across as offensive or anything. Support who you want regardless of race. It's just nice to see. :)

@daddykarlmarx6183

3 жыл бұрын

@@awesomedude5558 you're ok I dont think anyone watching this would find that offensive lol

"I needed to be able to sing about kissing a girl in 2008 because I *did* want to, and I was able to do it in a song that gave me an out." - That hit me right in the heart. I remember dancing really close with the girl I really, really liked to that song at homecoming. It was one of the most thrilling and terrifying moments of my young baby bi life.

ngl seeing LGBTQ+ folks come out and accept their truth is very cathartic when you're a cis male that grew up in a religious sect that shamed all forms of sexual expression. you folks have been through some real shit and hearing your stories and confessions helps me work through my own arbitrary shame. thanks alot to all of you

@nerdywolverine8640

6 ай бұрын

that's awesome!!! wishing you well

Lmao I remember my "I thought I was heterosexual" phase....I even managed to have a full scale crush on a girl but noooo, my mind was like "this is TOTALLY platonic, so what that my heart skips a beat when she looks at me, I just wanna be FRIENDS obvs??" I'm so mad at heteronormative society for letting me believe this for as long as I did.

@averykeeley6782

3 жыл бұрын

Not me reading this and suddenly remembering this girl that I sat next to in history class and now that I think ab it I had a FAT crush on her. She was so cool and pretty and I literally blushed every time she talked to me. Lmao I was totally obsessed with her and she just wanted to copy my work

@4swordsluver

3 жыл бұрын

never forget my I think I'm bi phase. dated my trans friend thinking I had a crush on her, turns out I just thought she was cool because she was deviantart "famous" 😅

@arrianacorr

3 жыл бұрын

Looking back I can see I was kind of in love with 2 of my best friends and I’m so sad I couldn’t get the courage to ever tell them even though I remember being nervous and wanting to tell them several times and even now I want to and I miss them. Society and my school and how everyone treated anyone who wasn’t straight and my own worries about rejection or ruining the friendships and being scared of my family’s reaction just stopped me. I still haven’t told them or come out to anyone I know but I wish I could, it’s so sad that we live in this kind of a world. I’m happy things are slowly getting better but I wish it was a more accepting place and I feel for everyone who has been through worse pain and situations than myself due to this prejudice and discrimination we have to face every day which makes us feel like we have to live a lie and can’t be ourselves or just love who we love. Things are getting better and will get better! We have to keep pushing for a brighter future. Thank you to the creator of this video for educating people and spreading such good messages in your video!

@AnxietyRat

3 жыл бұрын

@@4swordsluver yeah, I came out a bi before coming out a few years later as a lesbian. Lmao.

@metasequoiaglyptostroboides

3 жыл бұрын

I absolutly had this phase when I was around 16 and it took nearly eight years, a really deep crush on another female friend and more than whole year of "questioning" until I finally embraced my bisexuality. And even then I didn't feel like I could out myself because I hadn't any "real experience" with women or non-men in general besides kissing. It's so fucked up.

Personally, when I make a song about kissing girls, I mean it.

@larsswig912

3 жыл бұрын

time to check out your music💀

@sillyseri

3 жыл бұрын

HELP- def checking u out

@Jupiluxe

3 жыл бұрын

@@sillyseri idk why I commented this I think it was like 2am but I'm glad people are taking this as a call to action HA

@Jupiluxe

3 жыл бұрын

@@larsswig912 just saw your comment haha glad you like it

@sillyseri

3 жыл бұрын

@@Jupiluxe HOLY SHII UR STUFF IS AMAZING AA

Honestly, this video was very moving to me. As a married 29- year-old cis woman (married to a man), I'm just now coming around to my bisexuality. As I was growing up, I had same-sex sexual dreams and would often tell myself I was straight and that those feelings weren't real as the media and people around me characterized bisexual behavior among women as attention-seeking behavior and not legitimate. Even when I did accept my sexual attraction to women I still didn't feel like I was allowed to claim membership in the LGBTQ+ community because I am in monogamous heterosexual relationship and can pass as heterosexual. I appreciate what you've said in this because it puts words to the insecurities and confusion I've felt (and still feel) about my sexuality and recognizes the erasure that bisexual women face.

super duper thorough and educational, but also entertaining, love this!!

@bruh-xm6fv

3 жыл бұрын

lol you’re here

@kittykittybangbang9367

3 жыл бұрын

Didn't expect to see you here

@gabimcclurkin6074

3 жыл бұрын

Sawtooth! Yeee!

@myro6869

2 жыл бұрын

SAWTOOTH , didn't expect to find you here

@sour.sparkleoffical2414

2 жыл бұрын

Wow their here

lmao I really hate how so many of us had to grow up hearing artists, family members and friends straight-ifying girl on girl actions. Mfs really had me thiking that I was straight even after being obviously attracted to girls sexually ad romantically. Clown business 😭

@daycore-chan9405

3 жыл бұрын

SAME😭

@user-zy4wv7yx1z

3 жыл бұрын

I felt the same way! And many girls were so much more touchy than the boys (grabbing hands, hugging, sitting close). I never felt comfortable doing that to other girls, because I didn't want to creep them out (like a boy hugging a girl, or grabbing her hand). I was trying to be respectful. And I was worried they would know I liked girls. All sorts of backwards thoughts the heteronormative society put into my head.

@nicolefornuto7177

3 жыл бұрын

oh my god same here and like @marleybarley says it didn't help that so many girls were openly touchy and I too was too uncomfortable doing that with other girls because I wanted to respect boundaries and didn't want to get outed.

@zhisu2665

2 жыл бұрын

yeah the feels

@hydrofrolicwildflower3393

2 жыл бұрын

LMAO

hearing people say that aces don’t belong in the community really hurts my soul, i’m pretty sure we do belong

@kiterafrey

Жыл бұрын

You do belong.

Girls like girls by Haley Kioko was my bisexual awakening song. I don’t think it is problematic because she is a lesbian but none the less a HIT

@mammoneymelon

2 жыл бұрын

i love hayley so much and that song shook me to the core as a young queer person but i'm iffy about the song solely because of the "steal your girl" trope - i feel like it's still centering men somehow song bops tho i listen to it a lot lol

@alim.9801

7 ай бұрын

I grew up Catholic so the awakening was very slow for me (I might also be dumb 😭) but that song was absolutely part of my journey omg

Obsessed with the “if you’re hetero...and there’s nothing WRONG with that” vibes

@acehealer4212

3 жыл бұрын

Some of my best friends are straight!

@GoroAkechi_Real

3 жыл бұрын

I’m fine with straight people, I just don’t want my cats to learn from them.

@dokadnietak7708

3 жыл бұрын

sorry to burst your bubbles guys.... straight people are against my religion so i don't accept them. yall brainwashed by the straighties 🥱

@galaxyin6663

3 жыл бұрын

@@dokadnietak7708 are you in a gay cult or something?

@milli5968

3 жыл бұрын

@@galaxyin6663 it's an ironic joke

“If you’re a Sailor Moon fan, it’s 60/40 that you’re queer...” Ace Sailor Scout here lol

@M00nqueen

3 жыл бұрын

Bi sailor scout here✌️

@CeruleanWings

3 жыл бұрын

Leggo 😌🔥

@parkerposies3538

3 жыл бұрын

aro lesbian sailor scout lol

@corngreaterthanwheat

3 жыл бұрын

Tuxedo Mask will make you feel things 🤣🤣🤣

@trashking471

3 жыл бұрын

Omni sailor scout!

Also about the STI thing-my first gyno asked if I had ever been with a bi person, and I said my girlfriend was bi, and the gyno INSISTED I needed tested for every STI right away. I told her I had been tested already and was fine. But gyno kept insisting that because I was dating a bi girl, I was at “high risk”… I was the first person my gf had ever dated or been intimant with, and I by contrast had had many girlfriends before her, but despite this /I/ was “at risk” /because of her/. Ridiculous

the first time i heard the term bisexual was in a magazine article about lady gaga back in elementary school, but other kids thought that she was weird so i didn't particularly like her and paid article no mind. fast forward a couple of years later and i'm bi, casually out and an unapologetic lady gaga stan. i wish i realised earlier how wonderful she is as an artist and how impactful her career has been

@MotherMonstersBaby

3 жыл бұрын

i have almost the exact same story except that i was already a stan when i read the article and never stopped but it still took me years to figure out that was me too (bi) 😭

God, Tatu's music slaps hard, but the backstory behind their whole image and just how young they were is like really messed up.

@alexhaupt2134

3 жыл бұрын

It's actually heartbreaking hearing some of the vocal samples that weren't used in their music; Julia's voice was literally broken because "screaming is Tatu's trademark" and singing is genuinely painful for her now. Her live performances since like 2015 are actually pretty hard to watch for me, not because they're "bad" but because you can tell how much of her voice is missing.

@shortbreadgirlscout3463

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexhaupt2134 She probably should have gotten some advise from screamo artists. And I'm not joking.

@jordanrayne4779

3 жыл бұрын

@@shortbreadgirlscout3463 screaming fucks you up if you don't do it right, you are right in that she should have looked into healthier ways to scream, but im not sure how available that help was when she started

@brutus3631

3 жыл бұрын

@@shortbreadgirlscout3463 she was super young, and probably thought that her voice training that she had already was enough

@lanagievski1540

3 жыл бұрын

And their manager got the schoolgirl idea from porn...that’s all you really need to know hey

Worth noting that Katy Perry later changed her story and said that she had "done more than" kiss girls and had tried to "pray the gay away" in her Christian youth. She didn't identify as queer but it sounds like they're might've been more genuine experience than she acknowledged at the time.

@sugar4155

3 жыл бұрын

We all know she had something with Rihanna 🥴😏 There are theorys saying that Small Talk s about her jajajadjksvjaf

@miche8868

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I remember reading that!!

@christopherb501

3 жыл бұрын

@@sugar4155 Anyone else wish that her cameo in the "You Need to Calm Down" had involved her and Swift at least sharing a peck?

@sugar4155

3 жыл бұрын

@@christopherb501 I wish the cameo had involved Taylor actually apologizing to Katy... Like really wtf was the Bad Blood video

@emd4390

3 жыл бұрын

@@sugar4155 that would’ve weird since it wouldve been obviously scripted and not the actual apology.

It's crazy because as a BISEXUAL TRANS MAN, I still somehow managed to retain biphobia regarding my own partners. I didn't even realize until I got with my now fiance. He's bisexual homoromantic, and that fact DESTROYED me during the beginnings of our relationship because it made me dysphoric. My boyfriend.... existing as a bisexual man..... made me dysphoric and paranoid..... despite the fact that I am also a bisexual man......

@EzraSprouts

Жыл бұрын

Bud, I feel you! And idk, I think there's a difference between internalised biphobia vs feeling reassured/validated by having a monosexual partner whose orientation aligns with our identity Like, I'm also a bi trans man, have dated mainly other bisexuals but at times felt extra validated by attention from gay men / hetero women. Have worked hard on relying less on external validation and feel better for it, buuut also it's a very human need so be kind to yourself!

Ahaha, "Oppression is not a snuggie." You always slip in these great one liners that really capture the bigger picture while being so comedic. :)

Katy Perry’s “your so gay” is so close to making me relapse I can’t explain my anger with the song

@Trebinhas

3 жыл бұрын

That song makes my blood boil. Stay strong bud, try to distract yourself from the urges!

@gargles5270

3 жыл бұрын

i hope you’re doing okay 💖

@emmakise5182

3 жыл бұрын

I heard the song is actually about her Ex, he was very narcissistic, hence, "You're so gay yet you don't even like boys" I mean still she said sung he should hang himself, and then queerbaited, so I'm not justifying her as a person, I'm just saying the song is misunderstood.

@jhashfaghsdfsajdfjgsajgfas342

3 жыл бұрын

@@emmakise5182 I don't hate Katy perry in any capacity actually, her most recent album (Smile) is actually really calming and cool, 2000/2010's music was extremely problematic and I can understand how some miscommunications can lead to pieces of art being misconstrued. I still don't like the usage of 'gay' as a metaphor for whiney/insufferable men though. But, I don't in any way feel like Katy still supports this standpoint/message.

@emmakise5182

3 жыл бұрын

@@jhashfaghsdfsajdfjgsajgfas342 ohhh I see! Yeah reading your reply, I also don't think the use of gay was appropriate either, but I guess it's still better than her talking about an actually gay person. Of course, still problematic either way. People grow though, I'd think Katy has grown but I haven't really kept up with her.

I always feel worried that I don't seem queer enough since my partner is a man, and I hate that. My identity as a bi badass shouldn't have to be proven

@gothiccck6296

3 жыл бұрын

Snap! I got told I was just bicurious once by a very performative lgbt person in an lgbt safe space...

@stanpines9011

3 жыл бұрын

but why do you want everyone to know it so badly, like how is that gonna affect anything. i'm bi and tbh i don't really feel the need to tell anyone or really make it seem apparent, but i'd tell someone when the conversation is really going in that direction.

@gothiccck6296

3 жыл бұрын

@@stanpines9011 i dont this was in an lgbt society at college

@bottomofastairwell

3 жыл бұрын

thank you. i've never really felt like i was part of the LGBT community, even though I"m literally The B part. It took me until now, in my 30's to realize that i never even took my own bisexuality seriously because of fetishization/erasure.

@regrettispaghetti2517

3 жыл бұрын

yeah I feel that, when I was younger I used to wish I was a lesbian to feel like my struggles being queer were valid

hearing you talk about bisexuality and asexuality means a lot to me, because figured out and came out (to my small group of friends) as bi in 2009/2010ish (i dont feel like doing math rn) but as ive grown up ive realized that I'm also ace. they both feel right for me, and while ill happily say im biromantic asexual, i also will use bisexual and asexual and queer interchangeably, and depending on context. they're all me. i am bi, i am ace, i am queer, i am nonbinary, and i am disabled and these are so important to me

absolutely lived for the discussion of ace issues in this video. its rlly fucking true that our hypersexual society makes figuring out where you fit super difficult. Its hard to even know what you want from relationships because media/people around you have such a singular idea of what a romantic relationship is.

"Oppression is not a Snuggie, we don't all fit into it!" is such a good response to the complexities of privilege within people and communities, I'm gonna hold onto that

After the VMAs where Britney and XTina kissed Madonna, my Catholic school was thrown into a full moral panic and my home room teacher sat us all down to explain why it was dirty and immoral. I just remember scribbling nervously in my binder because I sat beside a really pretty girl and watching the Buffy DVD box sets had awakened something in me.

@sapphirec_5689

3 жыл бұрын

YESSS that power!

@justajumpingypsygirl

3 жыл бұрын

I definitely had a dirty dream that kiss with Britney and Madonna inspired.

Often I click on these kinda videos and feel kinda depressed at the end but this was such an amazing explanation and I’m feeling empowered because I’m still trying to figure myself out, I’m just wanting to say thank you.

I Kissed A Girl was so addictive for me as a 12 year old gay. Had that shit on repeat. Also seems to me at the time Katy did not like to reveal her actual bisexuality. Maybe scared her career would go south? But few years ago she did say she did more than “kiss girls” in a gay awards acceptance speech. The song is about bicuriosity. Perfect song to get people talking and start a conversation for changes to be made in social views.

As a gay pastor's kid I LOVED the song "I Kissed a Girl" as at the time (being a teenager in a conservative home) the "It felt so wrong, it felt so right" lyrics really resonated with me. I can see why some take issue with the song, but I always look back fondly on it.

@gregorycourtney1532

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly, is there any evidence that "I kissed a girl" was part of Katie Perry rebelling against her conservative religious parents? That's always how it came across to me and your comment kinda remind me of that. Also agree with you that while the song might have problems, I too look back on it fondly.

@Caitlin_TheGreat

3 жыл бұрын

Lol, I totally misread your comment as "kid of a gay pastor" instead of "gay kid of a pastor"

@lanzinator4734

3 жыл бұрын

@@gregorycourtney1532 I like that reading.

@user-mb9nm7bq5e

3 жыл бұрын

Same! I mean I’m bi, and I really like it

@AceOfSevens

3 жыл бұрын

@@gregorycourtney1532 that was my read. I grew up in the same culture.

As an aro/ace nonbinary person, honestly half the time I feel like I'm just safer lying and saying that "Oh no I'm a pansexual trans man" so I don't get ridicule. Great video now I'm going to lay down and stare at the ceiling for an hour.

@perturb-arte1577

3 жыл бұрын

I'm aro ace too! And where I live is still very...hetero.Seriously,not a lesbian in sight lol so when I'm wit my friends and some dude is bothering me I just say:sorry dude,I like girls! At best,they leave me alone after saying tHaT's HoT....at worst they make jokes about that being sO hOt AND wanting to "watch". I feel like if I say I'm aro ace they are just going to try to be ignorant,not believe me,or worse! Say they can "change" that (suggesting that by r*ping me the are going to change my mind). So,yeah,I CLEARLY prefer saying I'm a lesbian.

@KingOfNothingLR

3 жыл бұрын

As a guy aro / ace, dudes literally try to pressure sex onto you and its not even funny. Like, they are acting like once I "do it" with someone, I will change my mind.. Like n o. . . And yet people treat it as if it doesn't exist. I cant say I'm gay either because, its implying I enjoy doing that kind of stuff with dudes. I don't really know what to tell people honestly.

@hanac5586

3 жыл бұрын

@@KingOfNothingLR I feel this...people have trouble understanding asexuality and especially aromancy. But I guess the confusion is mutual, I can't really understand allos either since I have never felt what they feel. Still, forcing someone to change and pushing sex on them is insensitive and pointless.

@greenscreengamer8008

3 жыл бұрын

@@nu--13 why is this relevant? No one was talking about rape.

@arachat

3 жыл бұрын

god I felt this on a personal level. I identified as a trans man for a while just because a biphobic conversation made me scared to not stick within the binary in general... even though I *am* bi and nonbinary. Sometimes it feels a lot like damned if you do, damned if you don't. Having said that there's nothing wrong with trying to keep yourself safe, you know?

as an asexual person, i'm really touched by your mention of us here ❤

"where have all the lesbians gone" is giving me flashbacks to when i made a tweet about elliot page's coming out that went kinda viral and people told me, a nonbinary lesbian (though i identified as a cis lesbian when i made the post) that i was erasing lesbians. sigh.

I should've realized I was a lesbian the minute my sisters played "I Kissed A Girl" and Avril Lavine's "Girlfriend" and I was disappointed when I realized neither singer actually liked the girls they were talking about(or at least didnt seem to)- years later I almost cried when I heard Haley Kiyoko's "Girls Like Girls" on the radio for the first time(I thought I was bi at the time, so I was especially relieved that she wasn't being perfomative for men's attention- she actually likes girls! It was huge to me at the time and still is) I've never heard a song that spoke to my asexuality, though

@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998

3 жыл бұрын

I’m not asexual but there should definitely be an asexual anthem

@nas6246

3 жыл бұрын

i think there's a song called 'never been in love' by will jay, its really good! there's also home by cavetown which has some kind of aro/ace undertones since the singer is also aroace :D

@buttonstheturtle1843

3 жыл бұрын

@@nas6246 I love Home!! And you're totally right, I should def check out Never Been In Love-

@ahhh4117

3 жыл бұрын

theory: avril lavigne was a lesbian her clone isn't

@motegadg

3 жыл бұрын

Girlfriend by avril is not queerbaiting at all, right? She sings about wanting to steal another girls boyfriend

As a 72-yo woman I initially thought I wouldn't have any reason to comment on this video, as excellent as it was, because I've never been particularly cued into pop music, even when I was younger. I was always more of a movie fan and it occurred to me that my preferences in movies, actors, and roles probably factored into my identity, which is complicated. I always loved movies that were old even when I was young (many of them had dinosaurs in non-speaking roles) and I realized that i was drawn to androgynous actors, costumes, and roles. One of my favorite old films is Queen Christina starring Greta Garbo butching it up as the medieval queen of Sweden, and yes, she kisses a girl on the mouth! I loved seeing Marlene Dietrich in a tux. I love movie musicals and those with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are special favorites of mine. I always loved when they contrived to have Ginger dance in trousers, my favorite being the number "Isn't This a Lovely Day" from Top Hat. My identity evolved from cis het to lesbian to bisexual to asexual aromantic non-binary feminine/androgynous presenting woman. Like I said, it's complicated. Thanks for the video!

@sponge7184

3 жыл бұрын

This comment made me really happy (:

@sashawallace1916

3 жыл бұрын

You rock madam, live your truth.

@kibblemom

3 жыл бұрын

@@sashawallace1916 Thanks, I appreciate the support!

@kibblemom

3 жыл бұрын

@@sponge7184 Thanks, I'm glad!

@cattrickie

3 жыл бұрын

respect! i hope you have a great day

YOU MADE THE DISNEY FEMSLASH AMVS , I LOVED THOSE

Can we talk about how Queerbating, as a term has drastically changed? When I first read it as a term it was from texts from the 60s & 70s and it was about when a queer person was outed and denounced because of their queerness. Now it refers to a marketing term where companies are trying to make money off implied queerness.

I remember being 13 in 2008, not knowing that I was a lesbian, and this song being played constantly on the radio. It made me feel so disgusting. I didn't even know why, like it just made me feel disgusted with myself. Not to be dramatic, but this song and the reaction to it did a LOT of damage to me when it comes to repressing my sexuality. It really made me aware of the culture of women using lesbians as "experimental games" and not actually taking us seriously. It hurts still.

@kanalkucker14

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry for that pain you had to endure

@sitalvs

3 жыл бұрын

same. with time though, i realised i wasnt worthless and a "try out" for straight or bi women. know your worth!

@samsalamander8147

3 жыл бұрын

I hate preformitive bisexuality. I hated drunk girls at party’s making out with other sloppy drunk girls for the benefit of gross jock guys it made me feel dirty in the same exact way.

@andynonymous6769

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I had a similar experience except as a bi girl. I first heard it when I was 9 and like her, it was the first bisexual thing that actually stuck in my mind. But the song is all about how it's just a quirky little thing she did, nothing serious. That really stuck too. So for the longest time I hated myself so much because I thought I was just pretending because I wanted to feel special. That I was the worst kind of straight. For 8 years I never acted on it because I didn't want to be another reason bisexuals aren't taken seriously. So the song was really a double edged sword for me: it was literally my first exposure to homosexuality ever but also the first thing to plant that seed of internalized biphobia in my mind

@kanalkucker14

3 жыл бұрын

@@andynonymous6769 Ah, I'm torn about it, because yes, it clearly gives a wrong picture, on the other hand I liked it as a teen 🙈

The "where have the lesbians gone" article is so infuriating lmao. I'm a nonbinary person...who identifies as lesbian...do I not exist??? Hello?

@242nicolas

3 жыл бұрын

According to the terfs? No

@JamesCharIes

3 жыл бұрын

I'm not lesbian or nonbinary but I understand how annoying it is! My sexuality gets erased and labeled as transphobic and biphobic for no reason. (I'm omnisexual incase you're wondering)

@minimoomi

3 жыл бұрын

@@JamesCharIes Literally so annoying! Sorry you get misrepresented and disregarded I def know the feel :(

@JamesCharIes

3 жыл бұрын

@@minimoomi it's okay, its annoying but the people saying that stuff are literally dumb. Omnisexuality is under the bisexual umbrella therefore they are being biphobic by doing that stuff.

@minimoomi

3 жыл бұрын

@@JamesCharIes They hurt themselves in confusion 😮‍💨

"I am bi because bisexual is the term that gave me power to be me" ahhh, please print this on my grave when I'm dead. This is such an eloquent video!! You phrased everything so so perfectly.

This song was released the year before I got outed in middle school. It was really healing to watch this and unpack the weird mix of feelings I've got about it. On one hand, it was sorta weaponized by the other kids because they knew I didn't wanna talk about it. On the other hand, it was the closest thing I really had to hearing myself on the radio. Anyway, yeah. Thanks for this ♥

I cried hearing her acknowledge how society will label bi men as gay, and women (even bi women) will refuse to be with them. As a AMAB pan enby, this is a big problem I feel no one wants to talk about.

@lunarmagpie619

3 жыл бұрын

as another bi enby, this is why i only date other bi trans people.

@lefu87williford55

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunarmagpie619 I was already in a long term relationship with a cis het woman when I came out. It was hard easing her into it. Cis people, especially straights, have weird expectations.

@lefu87williford55

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunarmagpie619 I fear that another would never want me, and resent that it bothers me, because I am validating the idea that their affection is somehow more special than ours. I feel shallow and hypocritical.

@lefu87williford55

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunarmagpie619 on the one hand, this is definitely a trend. On the other hand, me noticing and holding it against them feels misogynistic and like internalized queerphobia. Like an incel imposter.

@lunarmagpie619

3 жыл бұрын

@@lefu87williford55 you’re definitely not misogynistic for noticing others’ biphobia/panphobia! It’s so easy to let the imposter syndrome in, I totally get that, and then you add in the zesty dash of systemic transphobia and it makes it a million times worse. I struggle with it too. You’re not alone, and you’re certainly not an incel for wanting all the parts of who you are to be respected.

“You probably don’t know who t.A.T.u are.” How you underestimate me!

@MogwaiToboggan

3 жыл бұрын

Back in my day we would the music video on fuse then go talk about it in aol chat rooms while creeps spammed us with a/s/l.

@yukikanegawa7470

3 жыл бұрын

I found the all the things she said mv in middle school and it made me cry. Since then I've donated many views to tatu though I am aware one of the girls is super homophobic and the way they were forced to do it at their age does make me uncomfy.

Coming from Hbomberguy's recomendations! This is a really enjoyable video! Thank you for making this!

@zoomane

6 ай бұрын

Oo! The nails match the shirt

"The term that gave me power to be me" is EXACTLY how I felt about discovering that I was ace. Up until that point I was shy and unsure of who I was sexually - idk, I probably thought I just hadn't met the right person or whatever. But then I went on my two very first dates shortly after I turned 20 and OMG was I like, way more nervous about them than I had a right to be. Later, I discovered that the feeling of "wanting to hide under the nearest piece of large furniture and stay there" wasn't exclusive to me, and then I had my very first lightbulb moment (the second being my demiromantic realization a year later regarding a good friend of mine). That moment and the umbrella of asexuality enabled me to really start finding myself as a person after I transferred to university, which in turn helped me gain more confidence in other aspects of my life. So I'm super glad that those points were touched on in this video. It's always nice to be not only acknowledged but accepted.

Those statements from the judges actually made my heart start racing. That is infuriating and I can't even imagine how Kesha felt.

@screaminggecko7660

3 жыл бұрын

absolutely vile

@dinodino5602

3 жыл бұрын

+++

@tychoderkommentator2989

3 жыл бұрын

I don't understand why? The thing about "not every r*pe is about gender" sounds true to me. It's reasonable that a lawsuit for gender violence, with the only basis being a rape incidence, be dismissed here. Also: It isn't uncommon that rape cases fail because they can't be sufficiently proven. I'm not saying that Kesha is lying, but if she isn't able to prove that she was raped, then it is reasonable to dismiss the claim that he raped her (she could have lied about a rape incidence just to get out of the contract which would ruin his life. Maybe she lied, maybe he lied. We can't prove either and I'm a firm believer of innocent until proven guilty, so I think it was the right decision that her lawsuit didn't amount to anything.) Is this the ideal situation in the case that he actually raped her? Definitely not. But she couldn't prove any rape and therefore it was the correct decision.

@tychoderkommentator2989

3 жыл бұрын

@@neiotik No, that is not what I said. I just think that it is stupid to think that the ruling is infuriating, when you can't prove anything Ke$ha said and she could be the one lying. It is not fine to basically say that the guy isn't worth anything, because of an incident that maybe never happened. It is messed up to be upset that the guys carreer path is going smoothly, when he was ruled innocent.

@tychoderkommentator2989

3 жыл бұрын

@@neiotik No it isn't. It is what you want to hear me say. I am not responsible for your perception, only for my words. I do feel for the victims of rape and I also think that rapists should be punished heavier. *But* : It is never right to judge people prematurely and I also know people who are malicious enough to pretend that they were raped just to get back at someone. Therefore I don't appreciate the "guilty until proven innocent" - culture that is slowly building around the subject of rape and I also don't want people to lose faith in the judicial system, because this ruling was correct and I will defend that.

I've always taken issue with the idea that Bi immediately means someone is Transphobic because, like, Trans women are women and Trans men are men so.... it basically just feels very TERF-ish when people accuse Bisexuality of being Trans-exclusive (not to mention that there are lots of Bisexual Trans people, like, they do exist! 😂) -- P

@Kaylakaze

3 жыл бұрын

As a transbian, I've met very few cis bisexuals that were not trans-exclusive.

@vvviridian

3 жыл бұрын

YES I'm a bisexual trans man and I've had so many cis people online tell me I have to ID as pan because I'm trans and it's so annoying...I'm a nonbinary man but I'm not a third option on the sexual ballot. I don't have anything against pansexual as a term, but the term bisexual has ALWAYS included us and I have an inherent distrust of cis pansexuals because of that attitude :/

@cariad123

3 жыл бұрын

@@vvviridian hard same. I've honestly, as a bi non binary person, never met a pansexual who hasn't either fetishised my non binary transness, been biphobic (either saying we can't include trans and non binary people or saying we're all genital obsessed etc), or been transphobic in their complete othering of trans people. It's sad but at the same time that's literally where the term comes from (it was first used as a sexuality label by trans chasers) so it's not really surprising.

@cariad123

3 жыл бұрын

It's so weird because the bi and trans community were basically the same thing for a long time. Bisexuality has always been explicitly trans inclusive. Verity Richie has a really well researched video about it kzread.info/dash/bejne/aWGZmqVxYLmrlrw.html

@theresamk6236

3 жыл бұрын

@@cariad123 yeah, that's rough. Personally, most of the pan people I've known are just intent on making me understand that they're more open than me because they identify and pan and I identify as bi. Then when I say that my bi-ness is not trans or nb exclusive and the label doesn't mean that much to me, so they can call me pan, bi or omni if they way to. I just go by bi because learning that term was so freeing for me, and historically it's been inclusive, so I don't worry about it. Then they brush me off as if I'm lying. I'm sure that's not universal, but that's been my experience.

My, **clears throat** "obsession" with JoJo makes a lot more sense now that I know I'm bi. I didn't figure it out until I was 27... Homophobic conditioning runs deep folks

6:36 YES! This was me! When I turned 25, I came out to myself that I was bisexual when I realised that I had been crushing on one of my female best friends for YEARS... I do remember moments where I thought I was being perverted or gross for even finding other women attractive... I forced myself to deny those feelings for a long time, even hating other female-female couples... I was miserable and spiteful at that time and I didn’t feel fully liberated until I told myself that it is okay and valid to find women attractive just as much as you find men attractive! Now I’ve gone from disliking same-sex couples because of internalised biphobia/homophobia to wishing I also could have a healthy and wonderful relationship with wether it be a man, or woman or someone who’s outside the gender norms!

"I am bi because bisexual is the term that gave me the power to be me" is possibly the most resonant description I have EVER heard for keeping that label, because that is IT. I'm ALL FOR people identifying as pan if that's what suits them best, but bisexual IS the term that gave me that power so I don't want to let it go. I was already out (as bi, anyway) by the time KP dropped I Kissed A Girl, but even I can't deny that I've got a complicated relationship with this song for really, REALLY similar reasons. Really loved this!

@aprilk141

3 жыл бұрын

Language is a living organism, changing in time and space, as a queer trans woman, I have never assumed that the term bisexual was trans exclusionary, but more of an individual thing. I'm a little older and my own experience is a little exclusionary, but I believe that is my personal problem and not some prescribed truth.

I literally said “Lady Gaga?” When you said there was an actual bi pop star in the early 2000s LMFAOOO

I LOVED your words of support for ace people, expertly worded as all your videos are. I feel like I've been screaming exactly that for years, that aromanticism and asexuality are inherently othered by society and the only hope we have for support is in the queer community, and othering aroace people from that community does far more harm than good. It feels like such a reasonable argument, but aphobia sure does rot people's brains, so thank for making a great case for us 😊

>hears voice >subscribes >sees the aesthetic >is now mega gay >listens to the content >learns about self wtf this is amazing, you're amazing, these are the queertakes I've been missing in my life

@Jane-oz7pp

3 жыл бұрын

(the voice is important because I have sensory issues so some voices just don't let me hear/understand the words)

Ashnikko and Princess Nokia’s “Slumber Party” is actually what we wanted the meaning of “I Kissed A Girl” to be

@CaribbeanCitizen

3 жыл бұрын

I mean they killed that track. I love Princess Nokia and Ashnikko is definitely growing on me

@Arsenik17

3 жыл бұрын

Even has a line in it about consent...

@Parker_Lot

3 жыл бұрын

@@Arsenik17 always a sexy thing🥵

@HateshinaiXxXMomo

3 жыл бұрын

Amen

@AnxietyRat

3 жыл бұрын

No.. Honey, we don't support cheating here.... Slumber party is literally a song about cheating. Not cute. At all.

am i the only one who was imagining Contra Points screaming “GaL PallS” for the whole first part

@KaitlinGaspar

3 жыл бұрын

I HEARD IT TOOO

@faeriegraver

3 жыл бұрын

@Is me ? Contrapoints video "Shame" here on KZread, highly recommend it

@faeriegraver

3 жыл бұрын

@Is me ? you're welcome. Contrapoints is one of my favourite KZreadrs, I love her so much. I hope you enjoy her content too.

@Hainsimse

3 жыл бұрын

@Is me ? you won't regret ist. it is "easy to consume" but the true depth of the discussions can not be overestimeted. have fun

@Syurtpiutha

3 жыл бұрын

Shit, that was my imagination?

This video gives me bi-pan-ace solidarity vibes and we sure do need more of those, tysm!

When I was in high school and thought I was the "straight friend" I would constantly say "everyone is gay for Beyoncé though". In hindsight though the biggest flashing lights pointing to my gender and sexuality were Team Rocket and Mulan.

TBH even though I’m very against using bisexuality as a marketing gimmick, nicki’s line “used to be bi but now I’m just hetero” is just so funny to me edit: saying this as a bi person

@sadcena7204

3 жыл бұрын

I find it funny because its so petty lol

@beardpandaa

3 жыл бұрын

I felt a record scratch in my mind when I heard that in that song. I was like "wtf did she just say?"

@ameera.abubakr

3 жыл бұрын

same,you can't just change it

@bogmanhimself4656

3 жыл бұрын

putting the ex in bisexual lol

@riverlake4642

3 жыл бұрын

@@bogmanhimself4656 but the ex appears in heterosexual too, checkmate lib

I'm a pansexual man that has mostly dated women. One major thing I deal with is that I often feel like I'm not queer enough to call myself queer, though I often feel that the label is something that gives me comfort. I really appreciate what youve presented here

@jessijaneway5093

3 жыл бұрын

I relate to this so hard. All my relationships have been with men. I've chased women but my feelings were not reciprocated. I try to be as big of a part of the lgbt community but I'll never be gay enough I guess.

@charliekahn4205

3 жыл бұрын

@@jessijaneway5093 As a cishet Star Wars guy, this looks a lot like the Outer Rim vs Core Worlds conflict. The Republic was elitist to the center, and the OR wasn't having it.

@annaisntcool

3 жыл бұрын

i feel this so much! i’ve been dismissed by so many queer folks because i’m a cis bisexual woman who has mostly dated men. it’s frustrating that some people feel queerness is quantitative. you can’t measure someone’s identity by their number of partners from one gender or another? i hate that energy.

You really hit me right in the feels with this. As a bisexual woman born in the late 80s. I was terrified to come out as a teenager because girls had a very "you're a predator" response to gayness still at the time and I had to share locker rooms with people... then in college when I wanted to explore my massive attraction to women, I was told by some lesbian friends not to bother; gay women would see me as "going to leave for a guy anyway". Then I married a guy in my mid-20s, who HATED my bisexuality, referred to it as a 'phase' and literally covered his ears when I talked about it. I have been rejected from all sides, non-stop. But we're supposed to 'have it easy' right.

As an agender femme lesbian I cannot tell you how violently I appreciate you and this video. Subscribing immediately

While “I Kissed A Girl” is deeply problematic, I should have realized I was into girls when I got butterflies hearing the song in the 3rd grade

@Tee-xt1cv

3 жыл бұрын

me me me me

My problematic transman awakening song was The Man by the killers, cause its meant to be a critique of toxic masculinity and male culture, but the whole time I was like "oh to be a hot successful man.." followed a couple seconds later by "oh shit"

@jefflastnam8566

3 жыл бұрын

Damn same awaking song

@willd.4808

3 жыл бұрын

MOOD

@catgirlyuri

3 жыл бұрын

as another trans man, you might have introduced me to my new favorite song lmfao

@nu--13

3 жыл бұрын

I wish trans men when theyd say "i could do so much better" Also meant they wouldn't rape people. Im not sure how "raping me to switch positions" works persay, and is how "theyll do so much better"

@littleleakyleakythere

3 жыл бұрын

@@nu--13 excuse me?

Thank you for destigmatizing STIs! You have all these thoughtful asides that enrich your videos, and this one in particular caught my attention.

I loved how this video took me through a journey of my own childhood and as an avid lover of Sailor Moon, t.A.T.u., “I Kissed a Girl,”and Xena..my bisexuality was staring me straight in the face long before I realized it 🤣🤣💖💖