Just discovered you Sam and so happy I have because everything you say really really helps. It’s uncanny that I saw a short video yesterday that resonated about eagles. Don’t know anything here but it explained that eagles can live to 80 years. At 40 years they have the most difficult decision…. Their beaks are too curved, claws weakened feathers worn. They either die or fly to the mountain where they spend 150 days breaking off their beak so a new one grows, same with claws and shedding feathers. After his process they survive. It was a stark story but if true, why should people expect a smooth journey? You have left me with so much to think about on my journey through inter generational terror.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Alexandra, I shall pin this comment to the top. I think it will help a lot of people. Bless you and welcome .

@experiencemystique4982

3 ай бұрын

​@@Call-Me-Samthanks for pinning

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I. may be doing the talking but the channel is made by everyone that participates . Including you.

@user-yv9fq5ym9w

3 ай бұрын

Wow. I did not know that.

@websurfer5772

3 ай бұрын

This info about eagles is very profound and apropos for those of us going through mid-life crises. Thank you! 🦅

"The pain is not yours. You don’t need to carry it, you can put it down." Thank you for those words.

@websurfer5772

3 ай бұрын

I want to put it down. So far I'm failing at that.

@jkniep1

3 ай бұрын

@@websurfer5772 hugs

@damianjones6546

3 ай бұрын

That is so true, it's other people's pain that is passed on.

@dawnholmes2136

3 ай бұрын

We must keep reminding ourselves to let it go 💚

@xenatron9056

2 ай бұрын

It only occurred to me a few years ago that all I had to do was give myself permission.. something that I never did. It's pretty powerful when you do don't you think?

The little birds kept chirping. Poet

The language you use probably sounds very strange to anyone who has not experienced a breakdown but you’ve managed to articulate what I’ve never managed to. When you speak with your beautiful voice it sounds like poetry to me and it makes perfect sense.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I'm happy that this helped

There is an old Celtic legend about a bird, which sings only once in its life.It sings that single song more sweetly than any other creature on the face of this earth. From the moment it leaves its nest, this bird searches for a thorn tree and does not rest until it has found one. Having found the thorn tree the bird sings among the tree’s savage branches and impales itself on the longest, sharpest spine. Then, dying, it rises above its own agony to out-carol the lark and the nightingale. The whole world stills to listen and God in his heaven smiles. The best is accomplished at the cost of the greatest pain, so says the legend. I have never been able to put words to my suffering so I find such beauty in yours. May God continue to Bless you. 🙏🏻💜🙏🏻

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it and thank you for you lovely words of support.

@ms.solinvictusmithra5700

2 ай бұрын

Read the book or watch the tv series Thon Bird. My favorite.

Sam I was sexually abused as a boy and it destroyed my life. I am now 65 and just survive daily. I had many relationships over the years, but have never been able to heal that little boy inside. I am healing slowly. Thanks for sharing your story.

@mickeyminnie1792

27 күн бұрын

ONLY JESUS CAN HEAL YOUR PAIN AND FORGIVENESS OF THE ABUSER OR ABUSERS ❤

@grandma460

6 күн бұрын

So awful. 💚 so sorry

You're an extraordinary person Sam and I suspect you have no idea of how remarkable you are. Its a rare person that can stand in the crucible of their trauma and let it shift them so powerfully. Im glad to hear that you're in calmer waters for the time being. You should write, you have a lovely way with words x

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I think I reach more people by speaking and hopefully as I speak more clearly I will reach those that need support.

@rheanelken2918

3 ай бұрын

What a lovely message, and oh how I agree 🩵

@user-wj9wz3ng2c

3 ай бұрын

You are extraordinary Sam. Your words made me cry. I hope things get better for you. I wish I could give you a hug. 💜

@sonjar1935

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for verbalising all of our collected grief xx

@janetflaherty1105

12 күн бұрын

❤

5:15 before I had my breakdown some years back, I used to take ice cold baths and sleep with my heater off and windows open in the northern US winter months. I felt that my body was in so much pain, and I was so hot all the time, like I was literally in hell. I would sit in ice cold baths and cry, or pray, then get up the next morning to go to work then school. then rinse and repeat until I finally broke and went back home. My soul was trying to tell me something, and I was working so hard not to hear it, but eventually you have to listen. What makes it all better is realizing that it was love the whole time, and that experience led me back to myself in the end.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

How intense the methods we use to find our way back to our selves. We need that intensity to pierce the veil of protection drawn over the pain . Yes, I think that love is the foundation of our being. I am happy for you.

@theseventh5204

3 ай бұрын

Oh wow. What IS that heat?! I was taking ice cold baths and showers before my breakdown because of the heat. I was hallucinating fire too. I wonder if its a physical issue to do with the brain or an actual spiritual thing we have all been told of is 'hell'. I never want to feel that again.

@humansareokay6870

3 ай бұрын

@@theseventh5204 perhaps this is the "Baptism by fire" that is spoken of in the New Testament. It's required to shed the false self. It all has to be burned away. It's part of the letting go process of becoming "in the world, but not of the world". When we lose our false self, we come out of the story (the world) we and everyone else has been playing out - and we stand separate from it and can truly see what is happening all around us. At that point, all participants, including ourselves, must be forgiven, as is spoken of here - because it's the only thing that makes sense to do, given the situation. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do"... this is the truth. We are all born "in sin", meaning we received the generational trauma when we came through. Finding our way past this inherited "curse" and back to our true selves - our pure hearts- is our true mission here. Then we can pour love out all around us and exist outside of the pain matrix.

@agc1161

3 ай бұрын

This is very interesting. Thank you for sharing. I seem to be "addicted to cold". Constantly hot, AC on in winter time, embracing freezing temperatures, windows open when it snows. I feel incredibly ill if I am too warm.

@user-tq8vt8jn8e

3 ай бұрын

​@@theseventh5204 probably inflammation

I had a breakdown in 1994. It was work related. I felt I had lost all control of what was going on around me even on a moment to moment basis. Feelings of complete despair and helplessness had taken over. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but that isn't true. You carry a wound for the rest of your life and if anything it's a sounding board for everything you do. You never want to go there again. No victimhood whatsoever but an evaluation tool that causes you to know you have the knowledge to rise up above it but you're also more humble and your spirituality is deepened.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Yes, humility comes at the cost of the certainty of our ego and the illusion of control. So true, thank you for commenting

@jimmcd5660

3 ай бұрын

When you say you “felt as if you had lost control of what was around you”, have you realized yet that your sense of control was an illusion the whole time, and although you may have felt you had control at one point in time, that the truth is you never had, don’t now have, and never will have control of anything during the human experience? The illusion of control in any manor is exactly that, there is no control, and that should feel freeing, at least it feels that way to me after I made the realization about 7 years ago.

@alternativevoice2541

3 ай бұрын

@@jimmcd5660 I lost my grip on the job I was doing making it impossible to function or even think straight. I became completely ineffective. I think you are talking about control in a much more general sense. I was literally unable to function from moment to moment. It was the strangest feeling I ever had.

@dianafarmer5445

3 ай бұрын

Yep I agree.

@troytempest290

2 ай бұрын

Never have I felt the need to hug another man quite as much. Sending peace.

I feel horrible pain all of a sudden and then it goes away. Ive been mostly house bound for over a year. I was depressed and on top of that i lost someone in my family. Im just numb, i watch youtube all day. Nothing makes sense. Take care everyone ❤❤❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

When we are stuck, only we can unstick ourselves ....I know it feels impossible but we need to be in motion for change to happen . Motion invites change. We need to do something different , As I said in this video ... " break the pattern". There is a part of us that doesn't want change. Where we are, even though we feel empty and numb and alone, it is familiar and change means the unknown. Be brave, use your will to create movement in your life, just start small and build from there..... good things will happen. Love Sam

@klik-klik28

3 ай бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam thanks. I know it. I feel better when im out of the house. But i have no reason to be out of the house. I lost my will. Im ashamed of my actions, how my life turned out, my body, my sickness. Its been going on for 10 years. I was made to hide my sickness and i became really good at hiding it. It became too much and i lost everything in about months time. Became like a child because of trauma triggers and i guess ADHD. Only woke up now to my losses: relationship, trying for a child, my dad, my relationship with my sisters fam and my elderly mum, starting my company, my fitness, my body connection.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

@@klik-klik28 I understand... but you do have will, you chose to comment, you chose to be honest and be visible. We have to forgive ourself and be here now.

@lizziewalsh275

3 ай бұрын

You’re not alone in this feeling, I feel horrendous grief/shame/fear/sadness like I’m being physically attacked and then switch to feel like it’s okay and I can cope and I think it’s the body’s way of dealing with the pain otherwise it would be all too much at once, we’d die or feeling like we’re dying. Thanks Sam for replying, I’ve just found your videos now. It’s pretty scary to watch bc it’s very accurate to what I’ve been experiencing and I’m scared because I don’t know how I’ll truly get out of it so find myself ignoring it them scrabbling at solutions unsure of who to tell what to do where to seek support - so thank you thank you for your videos❤

@klik-klik28

3 ай бұрын

@@lizziewalsh275 i think you are right about the pain, the body tries to regulate and thats why the pain comes in waves. I also feel like its hard to know where to turn to. Ive lost my trust towards so many people and institutions that i find it really hard to talk to anyone. Im hoping to find a more healthy living environment for myself in the future, somewhere where movement comes more naturally.

“There is something good in you that you can give” When we learn this and start to live this we are discovering who we really are.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Beautiful. True words indeed .

I had a breakdown 7 years ago after years of abuse in intimate relationships, I have been in therapy and healing in nature and with animals I live in Stirling it’s a beautiful city I live below Stirling castle, Sam I love your vides, I just joined gym and I’m doing somatic exercises to release the trauma, I love my life now it’s a journey but so worth it, I respect me and care what happens to me. Xx

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. Wonderful... grounding yourself in your body is such a good thing to do and is so helpful as we gradually learn to inhabit ourselves with greater presence . I shall be swimming again soon. Can't wait!

@stevenvitali7404

3 ай бұрын

The Natural world is a healer, it’s where we’re supposed to be

Thank you for sharing the intimate details of your life. I had a breakdown 12 years ago. I was forced into a 72 hour psych hold. I realized I wasn’t crazy, just fed up with the world and everyone in it. The solution from the doctors was medication. I tried it and it did nothing to make the world seem any better. I feel like it’s hard to be alive at times. I just take every day one day at a time and try not to worry about tomorrow. I won’t take medicine ever again. Being in nature helps me to feel a little better. Away from people and the nastiness of the world. One day our pain will end. I just try to look for any good in the world I can find in the meantime. It’s not always easy to find though. But I realize there is good if you know where to look. Sending a big hug and lots of love your way ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Bless you. Thank you for my HUG. Your experience , I've heard a lot, the psych wards do far more damage than the actual breakdown. We break because the world is broken and we just can't normalise that brokenness . " it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society " krishnamurti

@Brooklynbaby47

2 ай бұрын

I resonate with this !! Similar experience in my late teens early 20s. It was the darkest time of my life . I had to reinvent myself from nothing. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

@dragonwithagirltattoo598

2 ай бұрын

@@Brooklynbaby47 I wish you all the best friend ❤️

You didn't break down Dear Sam, you broke open. ❤️ So much love to you.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

@carrieb.5896

27 күн бұрын

That's how the light gets in.....oh, God, yes, yes. Truth. It's so good, isn't it? All of it.

Let the birdsong awaken-re energise , this crystallised version of you.

“I could only make sense of myself in desperation” and “without the cope there was only the pain” hit home for me. I resonate deeply with the shift you’re describing. The shift from creating endless narratives about our past to actually being brave to exist in relationships here and now. But first, our “self” with all its stories and explanations has to shatter to pieces. This video is such a moving testimony, Sam! Brilliant and honest, as always.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you Margett. I'm glad this resonated with you.

@humansareokay6870

3 ай бұрын

Yes, this is it exactly. The pain is overwhelming. The journey is almost indescribable, yet Sam has managed to describe it so well. What a gift.

@margett__

3 ай бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam happy to see this particular video blow up. From what I can tell, it gained more engagement than usual, and this is wonderful. So many are starving to hear this particular message. Let’s trust it will reach many more ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

@@margett__ Thank you. It is humbling to read the comments and a little scary to feel so exposed. The channel usually feels so personal and intimate . As I was making the video I had a very strange feeling. The night before I prayed and asked for clarity so I could help others. As soon as I stopped recording the title came to me and I knew that this would be seen by a lot of people. The purpose is to help others and nothing I do I do alone, all healing and discovery is through relationship with God and those seen and unseen helpers. I claim no other role than being a willing participant in the process. Thanks for your support Margett.

@margett__

3 ай бұрын

​@@Call-Me-Sam I hear you. I remember this one time my channel got a shoutout from a bigger artist with almost a million followers, and all of a sudden the numbers grew. And they kept growing and growing for a couple of days. As it was happening, I felt so exposed and vulnerable. The feeling of not being able to catch up with yourself is scary, and it's difficult to compare it with anything else in this world. The unpredictable nature of the Internet makes it even worse, especially for people like myself who might need an extra ounce of bravery each time there's an opportunity to be seen. No one is prepared to be mirrored by so many at once, let alone those who've been hiding most of their lives. But in your case the whole thing has been divinely guided, no doubt. Parts of my history make me extremely cautious about resorting to the sacred language, and skepticism has saved me on multiple occasions. My own delusions and false narratives all had a portion of religious trauma in them, and I'm still struggling to find an appropriate language to speak about my own spiritual evolution. But even someone as skeptical and stubborn as myself can sense an extraordinary presence in this particular case. All your videos are wonderfully helpful and full of wisdom, but I remember clicking on this one and feeling straight away that you'd managed to speak from a place that maybe you yourself couldn't expect to reach. You were held and supported while filming, and have been all the years prior to that, and it shows in how your words find their way to become sentences and produce meaning. That's why I'm delighted to see this particular one gaining traction. Seeing you being so humble about it is a blessing in itself, but also, credit where credit's due. To become a vessel for the divine and a tool for God, you've had to have completed at least a couple of rounds of going through hell and back. Other people who've been there can recognize this in you straight away. As a result, all the birds of a feather are now in your comments section finding their way to flock together. Something in me also wants to say that the timing is perfect, although I'm not entirely sure where I'm getting this message from. But somehow I have so much trust in everything that's going on here on your channel right now. When divine magic finds a brave soul like yourself, the perfect momentum is born. Who you are and all the details of how you choose to be are crucial for our collective journey. You are so so important, Sam! Please, never forget that.

The birds chirping with you really spoke to me. We're in natures conversation. Youre a beat, a rhythm, a song. Have you tried humming and singing your pain, or music as therapy? I feel like your primal need to scream at the sky was the beginning... Music really moves these feelings and energy. I just wrote my first song, no experience or instrument, and it helped me humor much of what i was struggling. I send you much love Sam! Thank you for sharing 💜🤝

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

It's good to see you here. I just try to be still and silent and let the world with all its noises and sensations find me. This is as close to peace as I have found.. Best wishes and love to you and your family . X

@1Sparrow1

3 ай бұрын

​@Call-Me-Sam You said it perfectly. Just allow the stillness and silence to be. You articulated the process of healing and becoming present very well. The old conditioned patterns will continue to unravel and dissipate. Again, beautifully said.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you.

I had a breakdown about five years ago and my whole body shut down I've been fighting ever since to get myself back little by little I'm coming back...and I'm winning this fight but have too be very careful with my nervous system and triggers...but I'll get there...keep fighting we only get one go at this life and I'm not going to let the demons who tried to destroy me win..❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Well done . Me too, we need to be aware of what supports us and what hinders us.

I had a very similar breakdown to yours at the end of 2021, it has been the hardest two years of my life. Your thoughts and realisation’s make so much sense, very helpful. Thank you

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I'm happy this video helped. Keep going, keep opening to what you feel and it will get easier. Don't ever doubt that there will come a time when you can view this pain as a vital teacher in the process of becoming who you really are .

@Truerealism747

3 ай бұрын

Did you have physical pain symptoms

This was absolutely incredible. You just described, word for word, exactly what I have been going through over the last few years. Hearing this was affirmation that I am not alone, that there is order in the chaos, that there is hope. I can keep going now. Thankyou, your words have been a light in the darkness that I won’t forget ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I think the process is universal.... though our experiences are different , the human journey is very similar for us all.

I was touched by your video. I prayed for you and felt led to send you this, hope it gives some hope and comfort... Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV) Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Peace and good wishes.

@Iamthepossum

3 ай бұрын

God bless you ❤

@Keyfer62

3 ай бұрын

@@Iamthepossum Thank you. :)

@Keyfer62

3 ай бұрын

@@Iamthepossum The Lord used you to encourage me, thanks.

@JA-nu6xj

2 ай бұрын

Amen 🙏

You had a breakdown of your sense of self, your identity. In this respect, “breakdown” is a good word. I ended up there myself four years back. I know what you mean. Your description of it all resonates with me. This is an opportunity, as you implied, to build better. These opportunities don’t come often in life. I hope your rebuilding goes well. You articulated the experience well. Thank you.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. Yes, gently moving into discovery.

I went nuts a few decades ago. I gradually recovered on my own, but made Really bad decisions during my recovery. Recovery is possible and even makes you stronger. The main thing is to avoid my mistake of making really bad decisions while I was unbalanced.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I hear you.... I did the same . Just trying to find stability by repeating old patterns and methods .. It doesn't work ... we need to do something else... change !

Oh dear. Thank you, I totally relate, what a gift you are. I am in that space, lucky to have made it this far, 67, maybe now I will see and find who I am. Still, from time to time I regurgitate such pain…a wonder I carried that and so much more for so very long. Generations of pain are being healed through us and our kids……..many blessings to you!

"The spite, fuck this I'm not giving in". Resonated. My breakdown was 3 years ago. The most terrifying process of my life because I couldn't tell if i would make it out alive. Thats what terrified me the most. Thankfully I am still here. I have more compassion for myself and others stories and journeys. Thank you for being so open.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Hi, what you wrote completely reflects how I felt too. Nothing changed quickly either, its a long , ongoing process of change . Thanks for your comment

This is the first time that I have seen your channel. I wanted to say that I relate to everything you said. The trauma, coping patterns, breakdowns, etc... I have been on a path toward healing for many years. I tried the fake it till you make it method, thus my name. I am at a point now in life where I wobble between detachment and fear. I loved what you talked about today. I am looking forward to hearing all of your other videos. TC

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I'm not sure those fluctuations go away , we just notice them as offerings that we don't accept.

Amazing testimony, and truth, and vulnerability here Sam! Thank you! I believe your authenticity can be so helpful to so many who have faced this type of trying process and are yet to do so! Many blessings for you and your life and the revealing of the beauty and peace within, as you come thru the pain.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing. Peace and gratitude. ❤🙏

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

And to you too Rhonda

"The brittle grasping certainty shatters" that was strikingly accurate for me.

Hi Sam, So glad you found me… When you said “It’s a beginning”, I totally understood that, I too am now, “Who I really am” and it’s beautiful. Grateful always… 😊

You are in my prayers. Back in '96 I had a mental breakdown and was hospitalised. I was working 3 jobs to keep a money hungry wife happy. I was so,so exhausted. One morning I woke up terribly frightened. Of what I had no idea. I was so scared and began crying uncontrolably. In time, with medication I recovered only to face a terrible depression. Now that took years to get over. I'm ok now, but never forgot that experience.

@Call-Me-Sam

2 ай бұрын

I'm glad you're doing well now. Being human is hard but worth it .

This is one long truth poem, a generous, gently spoken song. To have captured such a flawless flow on video is a historic event. If only every wounded, seeking soul could have a transcript of these shining words on a page, this document of healing to refer to. . . .

Beautiful and thank you. I had a breakdown 23 years ago. You have helped me understand today

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for letting me know . Your comment and others like it are really what keeps me committed to sharing as openly as I can .

I stumbled onto this a few hours ago, watched about half but I had to stop because it upset me terribly and I had to go for a walk. I just now finished the whole video. The depth of your thoughts is well articulated and the message is clear, to the point. It evokes precise imagery in me. I’m blown away really.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Hi Nancy. Thank you. I do try and be as clear and as truthful as I can. Work in progress of course , as are we all. I hope you find some value here on my channel. Take care Sam

Profound and beautifully painful to watch. So many broken people around us. All we can do is watch while we suffer our own brokenness. My heart goes out to you Sam.

Sam, you are amazing. I’ve come close to breakdown several times. Each time I evolved into a better, stronger person who could help others. You’ve done similar. God Bless you! Thank you for speaking. People need to listen to you!

Your story of awakening is beautiful! The journey is not what you expect… you just can’t imagine what it is. “Reduction” is profoundly accurate! Thank you for sharing this! ❤

Just reading the comments and seeing how much people resonate with your words and get comfort. It's amazing. Had a week of feeling a little hopeless and then your video pops up, I watch and I'm suddenly back with myself, my heart, out of my head and back in my body again. Now just enjoying looking out at the early evening sunshine. As always, thank you so much for sharing, Sam.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Glad to help. May your weekend be sunny .

I know breakdowns are so painful but there is a reason for them. To face the fears, grief and pain of this suffering human nature

Sam! Just got out of hospital myself, so glad I located your channel again, as I've lost my old one.

So much truth, so much wisdom. Thank for being so open and vulnerable. Finding your strength through it, is admirable. I feel I could listen to you and talk to you for hours

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much. I'm just working it out as I go.

Incredibly well communicated…. Thank you so much. The chaos of the lack of clarity and ability to express these things is so painful in itself. It’s near impossible to get to a point of enough space around this process to ever actually be able to see and understand it. I try but end up just mired in chaotic dead-end thought loops that overwhelm until I seek relief in unhealthy distraction. It’s very helpful to hear you so eloquently and plainly express this process. Well done.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Glad to help.

Thank you Sam for such poignant insight. The result of deep, deep introspection, and soul searching… Sending heaps of hugs to you.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you Michelle

Brilliant!…and the clarity, I am in awe of you Sam! Thank you so much for sharing…

I believe your channel is a gold mine, you speak very clear and with substance

This person's light survived hell, I hope he's seen in all of his gentle strength, he's now capable of guiding so many, Sam's a sun🌸

Hello Sam. Came upon your channel today. We've had very different life journeys but I can resonate so much with what you say about breakdown, the crisis that brings opportunity. I'll be catching up with your previous videos. You live in a beautiful part of the world.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Welcome .

The level of profoundness in your words & the level of courage says it all. well done 🎉

Sam thank u so much for your beautiful eloquence. U have a staggering ability to describe depths that few of us have experienced. As a fellow human on a path of discovery I’d like to say that the truths that u speak, although incredibly difficult due to your past trauma, can be shared and appreciated by anyone willing to strip away the ego and perceived self. The truth u speak is truth for us all no matter our past 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Wow. So many nuggets of raw wisdom right here. Thank you. New subscriber. 🙏

Wow... that really touched something in me. Profound. Thank you for sharing! Wish you all the best. ☮

Hi Sam. I'm so grateful for this video. It strikes me as a kind of capstone to the ones you've done to date, as it is so profoundly weaves together the themes of so many of your other videos. Watching this a few times in particular with 'The Golden Repair of Boundless Self' has forced me to admit to myself that I've really only had a number of 'quasi-breakdowns'. At times of great stress, I've experienced a sense of loss of self, or heart-wrenching realizations about the true nature of my family (that I was never loved), or how my character consists of just a series of defense mechanisms. Then when 'I' so to speak 'survive' these episodes and become 'productive' again, I have imagined that I have grown. But now I see these recoveries were really only a reconfiguration of my false self ('the fighter', who must 'overcome' my circumstances of familial abuse and profound emotional neglect and family dysfunction). Having wept through many of your installments, I can fully appreciate that I am still resisting the grieving process. I haven't been able to find a good therapist who is knowledgeable about CPTSD. And as you point out, therapy alone does not help us heal. (As you say, it provides the 'why' of what resulted in the formation of my false self.) I find listening to music helps me pursue the grieving process. In fact, your description of the death of the false self-reminds me of the climax of the final movement of this Mahler's 2nd performance (51:52): the first female soloist is singing: 'O believe, my heart, O believe, nothing of you will be lost! What you longed for is yours, yours what you loved'---that is what you call the 'boundless self', the desire to love and be loved---that is, what is *truly* our own. The chorus continues: 'What was created that must pass away! Cease to tremble! Prepare yourself to live!...Die I shall, so as to live!' kzread.info/dash/bejne/qZuotcNviLy9lKg.html

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

These insights you share are profound and very painful and will help in your own process. You'll know the real grief when it happens. Each agonising tear brings the acceptance of how heartbroken you have been for so long. Thank you for sharing this beautiful music.

The beauty and depth you add to the world through your words in this video is moving. Thank you.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

Thanks. You have a great gift to speak articulately and compelling about such deep matters. I had a breakdown 30 years ago and don't or can't talk about it. Yes, it is a slow process to put the pieces together again because as you say, it is a different being that comes out the other side that you have to get to know and figure out how that being is going to be in this world.

Thank you so much for sharing what you have been going through. There has been so much excruciating drama. You have been so brave and lovely to the desperate boy inside of you and better understand what behaviors were coping mechanisms. You are so brave, skilled at understanding what you need to do and to allow time to process your feelings. What a journey you have been on. You an inspiration for the healing journey that I have been on.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you Carol

You’re so brave! Thank you for sharing! Keep on keeping on! Stubborn is an ok word... but tenacious is a word that really puts a picture in mind of someone who chooses to keep going, to live with an aim to heal and thrive and be better than the wrongness that has been seen; even when things feel hopeless and shattered and twisted. The little light in such a condition has an immense potential of extraordinary strength and wisdom, self awareness and preservation because it willingly chose not to succumb to the horrific deals that came about; but dug down deep and got the strength from what the source of life.

“…when you invalidate those feelings… when you rationalise the abuse, then you invalidate yourself”. This is so, so true. Thankyou, Sam. You are so wise, courageous, vulnerable. Love and blessings to you 🌞

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I'm just working it out as I go .... I do have help though, nothing I do , I do alone.

Your very smart Sam. Don't let the nightmares get to you. Always write your dreams down.

Thank you for your message Sam, hope you find peace and for mother nature to bring you comforts. Peace and love ☮️❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

Gosh you're bright and articulate! You bring a really important and authentic voice to those dealing with c-ptsd. In time I'm going to go back and watch all your videos. Bless you Sam. x

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I hope you find something helpful here .

you sharing your truth, just brought about an emotional release for me. a sense of solidarity from your inner child to mine, thank you. thank you for being here, and sharing your journey. it's healing

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Wonderful !

Sam you came to mind several days back out of nowhere and thought maybe I should pray on your behalf. Thank you for sharing.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

I truly appreciated you and everything you shared. Thank you.

This is so incredibly helpful. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this very thing myself. You are a lighthouse in a stormy sea. Thank you for sharing yourself. I'm sorry you experienced such pain in your life, and I'm happy you've been able to find a way forward for yourself.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I'm happy this video helped . Thank you for letting me know

This was profound for me to watch! Thank you very much for sharing this Sam! It brought tears to my eyes. Exactly perfect timing!

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Glad to help. Just working it out as I go . I wish you well.

Thank you for this, Sam

What a beautiful explanation. The warrior/hero's journey so perfectly worded. You are so courageous. Thankyou. xx

Randomly was suggested this. Thank you for your vulnerability. This helped me immensely.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I'm glad this helped

Sam you are such a remarkable human being. Thank you for sharing this. I sent you love and light from germany.

Just found your channel. Binge listening while i do my chores. Wonderful content, Sam. Really, just wonderful. Keep blooming!!!!

Sending love and gratitude to you Sam. Thanks for sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thats a lot of hearts ... Thank you

in complete resonance with your words..deeply touched by the way you lay it open...stunning scenery

Your sharing is so exactly what I needed to help move me through this time. I’ve been trying to come through the muck but I’m so angry and you helped me to realize that all that anger is what I learned and there’s no way that I can heal from anything unless I choose it because I have no reference point to health other than what I decide. I did not come from it so there’s no coming back to it. This helped me so much in looking at how I can integrate the creative process in writing and drawing and sitting with the fire. Thank you

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Wonderful realisation . I'm happy this helped .

What a very special surprise to stumble upon this video of you. Rarely one sees authenticity and insight of this caliber these days. Truly a nutritious and wholesome influence you emit. Thanks, truly. Will follow along from here.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

I am so sorry for your sorrows. I had some problems, but I had a passion and obsession in my craft which healed me. Without it, I am left with very little.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Lovely. What is your craft

Just found your channel - it just popped in my feed. I’ve only seen this video so far and I don’t know so much yet about your story, but clearly I can relate as I too have suffered as a child and have carried along this ball and chain called PTSD for many, many years. I always knew God, ever since I was young (I don’t know how I knew Him as my family were firm atheists). It is only recently that I have TRULY stepped into a real relationship with Jesus Christ. I was ready to leave this earth and He saved me from myself and from eternal death. Every morning He is who I turn to, in conversation and prayer and heavy, heavy weeping. It has been a blessing to me to finally let my old self die and my new self be lifted up! I am FINALLY at peace - truly. I weep with joy knowing I have no more shame, knowing my life is filled with peace. No more fear. No more anxiety. I try to find joy in every circumstance. I hope only the best for your life. May you find peace. ❤️✝️🙏🫶🏻

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

Great to see and hear you again Sam. Thanks for the wisdom and insights 😊

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Good to see you see you too. I hope you're doing well. ❤️

@karentonks7581

3 ай бұрын

Hi Sam, not too bad. Bit of an empty feeling day today but going through it...I'm looking or at least trying to find my North star. My purpose. We all need one don't we?

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

We do indeed. I think we have to maybe stop searching and just gently move forward with a feeling of openness and see what is offered . Recently I read something to the affect of ...... our purpose is just to be us.

@karentonks7581

3 ай бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam Maybe that's true. I think it's hard wired into my psyche that I must be doing something useful because if I'm not then I'm not of any intrinsic value xx

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I'm the same . To be of use to others is maybe the key lesson in life. Thats happiness , the role we play in the happiness of others . X

I could appreciate and get along with someone like Sam more than most people in the world.... It's hard to love ourselves.🙏❤️‍🩹🫂 You're a beautiful person ✌️

Yes, for so many of us, it is so painful. I came to ease this pain by supporting all of you. How long it takes, how much one goes through, how far they get, none of that is the essential key to worth. The value you have to me is unspeakable. Each one of you is beyond any assigned or imagined value, you are invaluable and that is the best I can speak it.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Beautiful. Thank you Todd

@ToddDouglasFox

3 ай бұрын

@@Call-Me-Samand, thank you Sam.

I can hear in voice that life has given you something very difficult to deal with. I pray that God may help those who are experiencing such pains and experiences that have uprooted their entire lives and all the good they once were and all they know. I have lost so much and I do t seem to be getting any better. By the blood of Jesus I pray that there is some change now, today that shows me a way, the right people who will help me and guide me to get back to a life of joy, prosperity,peace, protection from evil and love for my family, my loved ones and myself. I ask for the intercession of the blessed mother to help me NOW, to protect me and my family from the forces of evil in this world and keep us safe from it for all of our lives.I pray I find the right people to grow with and become a loving family with and enjoy our lives protected and living a life of good and love in Jesus mighty name. Amen

Thankyou Sam for your testimony and you are helping others. 😊❤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I hope so. Thats why I make these videos .

The birds singing calms my mind and gives me some respite from my turmoil.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Nature provides soothing sounds and sensations. I wish you well.

You described this process so well. I have never heard anyone describe that feeling of despair so well - if at all for that matter. I have felt this feeling a number of times. I get what you say about it being an experience or process of losing everything you thought made up you, and your identity and leaving nothing but painful emotions. But it is kind of healing getting to that core level of pain and maybe losing some of our fear of experiencing it and fear of losing what we thought was critical to our identity.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

It is indeed and it is essential work if we are to be truthful , balanced people.

Well presented with open honesty. Everyone internalizes trauma and pain. It's easier to deal with and deflect with a healthy, nurturing childhood. Not all are that fortunate to have one. So, the vulnerable from childhood cannot see they're "set up," to be a target from beings seeking to unload all their internalized crap on you. When you figure it out, you're on the road to a stronger, improved you. I'll take the option of rising vs. falling till the end of my life.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Well said, thank you

Thank you. I have been uncovering so much too. I really cry watching these videos. As I relate so much .I am in the midst of a breakdown. I have built up such a ‘ strong’ defence mechanism to survive. All of the above you mention. I have been on this journey for about 5 years and created yet another false self in avoiding the true pain. Until I found myself in another relationship and it all resurfaced again. I could understand the aspects but my bodily defences and the Dysregulation are so strong! I cry and cry and cry… thank you 🙏 🌿

@Call-Me-Sam

23 күн бұрын

Be kind to yourself. The breakdown is terrifying as we realise and truly accept just how scared we are of how little we actually know. That strength is the certainty of ego, for a time , our necessary refuge. Surrender to the mystery of our lives , of who we really are is a huge part of healing. The longing is the longing to surrender to what is. Keep crying, keep giving a voice to those long withheld feelings but also, rather than repeating coping patterns, do something different . Change invites more change. I wish you well.

Hi Sam, I just found your videos. This one is very powerful for many I am sure. I am on the same journey as you. Not transitioning or detransitioning but on the journey of finding healing from childhood neglect and abuse. I’m 70…I’m a Christian…I’m a person living with emotional pain that often threatens to completely derail me. I just want you to know that in the first video that you still have on here you said you felt value in yourself because others had been helped by you. Authentic people always help others trying to be brave enough to be authentic. This here video has helped me on a dark night…thank you! I edited to say that I will be sharing this.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

I'm happy this helped. Thank you for letting me know.

Hi, I just found your channel….and WOW! What a brilliant, articulate, beautiful soul. I am going to watch your older videos to learn more about you. Peace and God’s love to you.

Thank you for articulating so perfectly what lots of us feel. My breakdown was 2018, ive come far but still not there. Insane medical issues arose, I think, to force me to address things deeper than I was currently willing to. Im getting through it. Slowly but surely. Thank you.🌌🌠🖤

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Well done. I experienced the same... medical issues as a manifestation of emotional and physical trauma . Mind/body heal together. Sending you love and blessing for your own process

Well said, Sam. Your words of experience are so wise and so true. I appreciate you see change as processing what was revealed; setting aside what you've worked through instead of continuing to rehash it again and again; and seeing the "new" memories or recollections as a springboard to continue to develop your authentic and healthy self. I wish we could get your words out to everyone in the world.

Wow Sam😊. Thanks. Thank you for sharing you. I have so much to say but I'll leave it at that. I love you. You are precious . Whatever you decide in life, I understand . My little girl urged me not to judge people and shes right . We all have our experiences and pains . We all have beautiful and memorable moment(s). I'll leave it at that, for what it's worth . All my live and hugs .

I watch you and cherish your courage and depth, and the generosity you offer in sharing it. I watch because you inspire me to be courageous in my own syruggles. Thank you for the gift you give us.

You Are so Brave- to talk about these hard topics. I am honered to listen this. Thank you' Remember- past does not define you'. You' Have beautiful nature around you'. And such beautiful sounds. You' Will heal- Brain. Body and soul Will do their best. by Time. Breath deeply- you' Are not alone. 😊

Psychosis is the pain coming on too quickly, like a tidal wave of unconscious energy crashing through and into consciousness---of course one will begin to hallucinate as a coping mechanism.

Sam. Thank you for this video. The words of emptiness and coming to know the raw truth that must be met internally. I wish to shed light and thanks for your ability to identify and share very complex aspects of the inner workings of the soul's journey. The description of your breakdown and the healing that sprouted forth from that are very powerful.

I'm glad I found your channel and that you're telling your story. Pattern-finding makes us human, and yes, we get to find new ones too.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you

Ah, Sam. Thank you for sharing and for speaking affirmation to my own tattered persona. Really, thank you. If I were on the shoreline with you I should just like to share silence and acceptance while skipping a few rocks. I hold such compassion and gratitude for you and hope that the good wishes here strengthen and soothe. Take care.

@Call-Me-Sam

3 ай бұрын

Thank you , I feel you in these words .

You are brave, you are still here. Thanks for sharing!

Its an awakening and a seperation from the man made world that tried to shut down your inner light. We are connected to every living thing on this planet. But remember, your vibe is your tribe.

You are not alone. I to crashed and burned 2010. I can only say that it is an actual awakening to self. And the wounds will heal. Much love to you Sam.

What a beautiful Soul and gift to the world you are at this time, Sam! You have such clarity in your words and a true ability to articulate well this whole process of 'finding your Self'. Thank you!