I'm not ashamed to admit that I still think about my wife all the time a year separated now. Yes I still love her. No I would never go back. I have moved on.....I was with her for 22 years and 6 children. I'm not just going to thinking of her just because society wants me to forget. I have good thoughts and bad thoughts. It is what it is. Iv gone no contact, she's with a new supply, it doesn't bother me anymore. I had the pain.....I've been through my grief. I know now what she done, bit that doesn't change the fact that I have to stop thinking about her. I love her and I probably always will. However I'd never take her back. Just seeing her just triggers me. And my body physically shacks. I'm just going to let nature take its course......I've definitely got some traits from her. This I'm learning to dealing with. Unfortunately she was toxic....that's the truth. All she said to me was you've changed, you need to go to anger management. Gaslighted all the time.she was really good at time and she was really bad at times. Thanks for the video ❤❤❤

@chocolatecookie8571

Жыл бұрын

I have somewhat the same experience. I can relate to all your words except that it does bother me if my wife has new supply. I wished she had never made the wrong choices that got us in this horrible situation. There are only losers now. For me being alone and lonely again after my marriage with my wife sucks big time but I can’t take her back. I rather die alone, poor and miserable. I simply cannot stand her anymore just like how it triggers you when you see your wife. It is hard to love someone dearly but at the same time not be able to with that person again. I also got some traits from her. I think of her every day. But I cannot forgive her.

@Reaper_thecreaper

Жыл бұрын

@@chocolatecookie8571 your words resonate so much with me. But what you have to understand is, that she has made her decision to move on with the new supply. You need to deal with this and the pain. I had to it took me 2 weeks in bed! I had to scrape myself of the floor. But what I realized is that, no person on this earth! No matter who it is is not worth that kind of energy. You are better than that. She made that decision to treat you the way she did. She made that decision to move on so quickly. You have to be strong and show your strength. Cry alone and laugh with the world. Believe you me you'll be stronger and wiser for it. One day brother you will find the right person. One day you will get an unexpected tap on the shoulder when you are not looking for it! And that person will come into your life. Believe you me god will find a way and has put you on the right path. Please don't hold on to hate, revenge, bitterness, or anger. It will only hold you back. I've forgive her for what she has done to me. However I've not forgive her for poisoning my kids against me! This I will never ever forgive her for. When j exposed her she went into victim mentality and produced a smear campaign against me. However only I know the truth and so do you brother. I know your hurting and you may not like the fact that she has a new supply, but that's her living with her karma. Why because I've seen my wife and she looks exchasted. Love yourself and only yourself. Give yourself time to heal. You'll get there brother. I honestly thought I would not. But I did. No one on this earth is worth our life.......life is beautiful live it. At the beginning I thought I made the wrong decision and it might be a cerse. But in fact it turned out a blessing. God will bless you brother. ♥️♥️♥️

When I blocked him he wrote me an email tearing down my character in rage and then blamed me but said doors open if I wanted another chance with him - of course if I could behave better

Thanks for these videos!! I constantly find my self thinking about this narcissist each time I hear a song on the radio or pass thru places we’ve been etc… I’m trying to each day NOT to….😕

This is not true of everyone. If you did not get controlled and decided to let go, you just keep living. Narcissists need other people a lot more than other people need them. I think people with dependent personalities are the ones who cannot let go.

I did stop thinking of that person but due to the situation it became clear what happens in my life. It started on a young age and due to that damage I was always looking for love but became vulnerable for these kind of people. But with help of this kind of communication my eyes are opened and working on a change . Thanks 👍🏻

It will be great to have your wife talking about your awareness process.

@sadegarylowe7397

5 ай бұрын

Yess

Great wisdom 👌 Thank you for sharing your pearls. What about Soul Ties? There is also a need to break Soul Ties with the person as a beginning to freedom. Breaking Soul Ties with the power of Holy Spirit, breaks the Spiritual connection to the person in the Spiritual realm. When two people come together emotionally, physically, sexually it creates a soul connection like glueing two pieces of timber together becoming one piece. Then when those two pieces separate it is like ripping those two pieces of timber apart. It is not a clean separation of the timber pieces. A bit of each person will be stuck to the other. It is not a clean break and separation of the two parts of the relationship there will still be bits from each other stuck to the other until the individual heals. Healing needs to be ab intentional jounrey. Time does not heal.

Yes, I agree with letting go of my story and perception, because it’s not right. Good reminder. Thank you so much

I was doing really well - he was still in my head but it was kinda manageable. The cognitive dissonance had faded. I saw him for what and who he is. Over the weekend he hoovered. I haven’t interacted with him but now he’s really back in my head argh - I need him out! I hear what you’re saying though and I know I can regulate myself over time.

That's me...his name/memory pops up everywhere. I go from missing him to detesting him. I look at my son, and I despise his father for abandoning him. My ex just stopped talking to me...he just went into hiding, and didn't offer any explanation whatsoever. And now he attempts to reach out 1 to 3 times per year, and if I attempt to ask why, he just tells me to get "over it" and to stop living in the past. It angers me to know that he is out there living his life, like if nothing...probably hooking up with whatever is available...I'm just venting now😢. It hurts..

The mornings are the most difficult

@chocolatecookie8571

Жыл бұрын

The whole day for me. Except when my mind is somewhere else e.g. if I distract myself with a book or playing guitar. But after that the loneliness kicks in again.

@lanadst6745

Жыл бұрын

Know the feeling way too good …

@manonzucka9474

Жыл бұрын

@@chocolatecookie8571 how long has it been? for me its been two years it used to be difficult during the day aswell but I guess time does make things better I hope is still early for you so you can find some comfort in what I say and let time do its thing

@chocolatecookie8571

Жыл бұрын

@@manonzucka9474 hi, thanks for your reply. Well for me time is not a healer. It is a killer for me. Being used to being alone is a coping mechanism and that is not a good thing. It will numb you down in time more and more. Eventually you will lose the capacity of being with someone. And if you live together you will have to adapt and that can give some problems due to the extended period of time when you were alone. We are human beings and living alone is in most cases very unhealthy. But is has unfortunately become socially accepted in the West. Many find themselves in a situation they don’t like to be in. I was able to break through and get to the next level so to speak. Once I got there I was smashed down forcefully bringing me back to square one and worse than that. It is okay if you are young but if you already older and emotionally damaged too many times you lose the flexibility, hope, courage, strength and abilities to do something. Time is against us. I forgot to mention that recently also busy with trading. My plan is to make as much money as possible because I lost everything. Take care 🙏

@rinnemichelle946

Жыл бұрын

I’m

We were so happy right up until he betrayed me. Then i was the enemy for no reason. His new supply is crazier than him and he claims he loves her but never loved me. Ouch! It really hurts.

@celestemondlane8286

Жыл бұрын

I can relate so much to this. The new supply contacted me to let me know of their relationship (We were still together at the time). Did he not blame me for ruining "the best thing to ever happen to him."

@nancyjones9793

10 ай бұрын

Don't worry, he doesn't love her either.

He made me feel like i and my family was the problem he discard me the most horrible way 16 years of wasting my life and ruin my chance to have more children off he went and even far carry on mentaly abuse me i need help 7 months after i still not recovered

@chocolatecookie8571

Жыл бұрын

It can take some years to recover and heal but I do think that Ben’s program can be usefull if you are willing and able to do the work. But some scars can stay with you for life. That is prolonged grief syndrome.

@palomahair8616

Жыл бұрын

@@chocolatecookie8571 i will start therapy hopefully soon

Insert "wounded person" where the word narcissist is and you hen realise your mind and heart is showing you a mirror to learn from

@BrettMissen

Жыл бұрын

Love this !!