My one thought: When the inlaws said they paid alimony and child support, that was THE INLAWS, not the ex. The ex paid nothing so has no rights to the kids.

@ImNotaRussianBot

4 ай бұрын

Yep. And "Adam" was literally doing the bare ass minimum by paying child support. Otherwise, his ass would be in jail. So, his parents did was bail out their waste of oxygen son

@dementesf

4 ай бұрын

Actually, depending on jurisdiction, his absence for an extended period of time could mean the termination of his parental rights and even liability for emotional abandonment.

@Vida7354

4 ай бұрын

it was the bare minimum anyway as it seemed like it was all they did, no other type of support at all, not even treating their grandkids as their grandkids

@thehawkseye3412

4 ай бұрын

They paid child support on behalf of the son, because he was obligated to. It doesn't mean an ex wife should welcome the ex husband back when he is done fooling around.

@Lusde

4 ай бұрын

He definitely has rights to his kids. Doesn't matter what he does if he wants to see his kids he can

... That wasn't the welcome he was expecting? Seriously? He abandons his family and disappears for 3 years to be a NSA free spirit and he was surprised the ex slammed the door in his face? What a twit.

@shawnycoffman

4 ай бұрын

NSA free spirit?

@boredcryptek5513

4 ай бұрын

Right? What was he expecting? The woman and kids he abandoned to run back to his arms and hope he never leaves? Holy shoot the audacity!

@Mr.Whoopy.BooBoo

4 ай бұрын

No strings attached @@shawnycoffman

@kervinsantos5808

4 ай бұрын

Even worse, he only came back to fit in. He doesn't care about his family.

@Vex-the-partycrasher

4 ай бұрын

I’m more surprised that the parents of that man child is on HIS SIDE! After knowing EVERYTHING!! Like- seriously how have they not chewed him out or sent him to the streets for all that he had done? How dare they tell Op that she is depriving them of a dad when HE MADE THAT DECISION HIMSELF!!! Plus the fact the guys in the group had a point- they didn’t tell him that he needed to divorce- but THEY STILL CONGRATULATED HIM! Seriously the ex bs of a husband and this “cult” of friends are morons and honestly it’s pathetic- Ex Husband has NO RIGHT to come back! OP and her kids deserve way better.

So he abandoned his kids for 3 years and she still couldn’t get his rights terminated. But men online crying about female privileges. GTFOH.

@astroarguello1521

4 ай бұрын

Where did it say she wants his rights terminated? In fact I specifically remember her saying she didnt want to deprive her children of having a father figure should he step his game up. Idk why your blaming feminism on a mans failures. Feminism isnt the same as a fatherless household especially if the household is fatherless because the man was too much a coward to follow through on commitment.

@TheImperiumEmpire552

4 ай бұрын

Dude read the story ​@@astroarguello1521

@VadBlackwood

4 ай бұрын

@@astroarguello152114:37

@susan7775

4 ай бұрын

@@astroarguello1521 It was towards the end

@0palOpal0pal

4 ай бұрын

Exactly

Adam is a man child. That’s freakin asinine for him to leave his family for a damn joyride

@storiesbymusic2-5-24

4 ай бұрын

Agreed! Also, I've never seen someone use the word asinine unless they were in a specific fandom😂

@user-ue5sg9nc5g

4 ай бұрын

@@storiesbymusic2-5-24 I just use it

@hollalaland

4 ай бұрын

​@@storiesbymusic2-5-24 the entire family on my mom's side uses it. But they are Californian.

@briskettacos

4 ай бұрын

Sounds like he's got a serious case of Rich Boy Syndrome.

@allisonjoynerbizama2450

3 ай бұрын

No, it's worse. He's a psychopath. He excels in manipulation and is devoid of empathy, as illustrated by the fact that he prioritized his joyride and abandoned his wife and children for years. No communication for years, blocked the wife from being able to contact him, and showed up with a superficial "grand gesture" of roses at the door once he realized he didn't fit in with the cult he joined. Never economically supported the children either. He also refuses to take accountability for his actions and instead lashes out at his friends. The dude is absolutely self-centered. It's incredibly dangerous for children to be parented by someone like that.

Such a great example for his sons.

@destendgem

4 ай бұрын

TBH, great example of what not to do.

@LilDemona

4 ай бұрын

@@destendgem I agree 💯

@zozupskystar8639

4 ай бұрын

​@@destendgem I was thinking the EXACT same thing!

@agustinjr.enriquez6238

4 ай бұрын

Make him take accountability for his actions ‼️

@I_do_stufff

4 ай бұрын

I hope this is sarcasm

....and people think reddit stories are fake...... Well, my ex brother in law abandoned my sister with two kids (toddler and infant) to marry a woman with two kids that arent his. Now my niece and nephew are all grown, working, well off and have their own kids..... The ex BIL now wants to marry my sister and make amends..... No, he hasn't divorced the other woman.... And he married another woman after that (still married), no he never paid child support at all.... And yes my sister is considering the marriage. And my mother is happy about the situation. And me??? And me?? I need extra popcorn for the show, i got the front row seat 😂😂😂😂

@STAYATINYARMYSIN

4 ай бұрын

WWWWOOOWW why would your sister even consider that ?? I hope her kids can wipe those blinders she has for her ex off.

@chinaking918

4 ай бұрын

What in the entire fuck? 🤯 Why would she ever go back to him? Why would your mother be happy that her daughter is considering marrying a married man that left he to raise children by herself? 😳

@Jose-yt3qz

4 ай бұрын

Why did she do this!? That guy deserves HELL!

@Alice15210

4 ай бұрын

@@STAYATINYARMYSIN the nephew forgave him soo yeah 😂😂😂 the niece is still angry but they see her as bitter. It's infuriating but what can we say??

@Alice15210

4 ай бұрын

@@chinaking918 my mom (black African woman) is just happy that her daughter is getting married. They love marriage so much it doesn't matter how messed up the person is

He took the "Bros over Hoes" literally and abandoned his family only for his bros to grow up out of that mindset. Like he's a piece of garbage and OPs should never get back with him or allow him near her kids

@Jose-yt3qz

4 ай бұрын

Bros over Hoes is only valid for Hoes. OP is not a Hoe. She DODGED a bullet right there!

@TheJosman

4 ай бұрын

Sorry, but his wife wasn't a hoe. If anything, Adam was a hoe. He wanted to enjoy single, spent a lot of his money on girls, travels and hotels and ended up alone, miserable and living with his parents 😂😂😂

@battlesister1559

4 ай бұрын

And that wasn't a hoe either, that was his wife and the mother of his children...

@hazelmint6671

4 ай бұрын

Not even 'Hoes'. It's literally his wife who he is committed to.

@dokuganryu1565

4 ай бұрын

If she's already the mother of 2 of your children then it's a bit too late to start calling her a hoe.

What a douche, there's no way i'd ever let anyone back like that, he's not even a doormat, he's worse. Who leaves their kids for three years cause he wants to fit in with people then comes back to do the same thing again?!

@mannydcbianco

4 ай бұрын

Yup, he's scum. Spineless, selfish scum. It sucks that he retained visitation rights (albeit only supervised visitation, luckily) but given how selfish he is I fully expect him to stop visiting again. He will find some other woman since he decided that he can't be alone anymore and once he's in a new relationship he will once again flake out on his kids. Screw him.

@notlisztening9821

4 ай бұрын

Someone who definitely has other issues. No way was that dude free of red flags.

@lionheartt15

4 ай бұрын

@@notlisztening9821 maybe maybe not. thing is watch any documentary about cults or cultish groups and they can and will change people. it will be slow and over time but it will happen. as the saying goes about how the frog doesn't realize it's being cooked when the temperature rises very slow and steady

@HansMuneEnBy

3 ай бұрын

Someone who clearly has never felt a single ounce of happiness his entire life... looks like he did the stereotypical become a dad and have a wife and kids thing just to cope. It does sound like going on adventures across the world with his friends genuinely made him happier than his wife and kids ever could.

He said he felt he’d been missing something for THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTH not the YEARS he was gone which already says so much about him

@crewmatewillthrowthesehand7600

4 ай бұрын

he probably missed the fact that he had someone to cook and clean for him for free. this guy is vile.

@HansMuneEnBy

3 ай бұрын

It sounds like was never happy with his family life and he was genuinely happy with his life as this adventurer with his buddies. But as his buddies began to settle down... he just reverted back into his depression.

Rachel is an MVP in this though, making sure her bestie stays informed and on top of this.

A shame that this happened, but OP is at least lucky that his abandonment didn't leave them financially destitute, what a loser. If he can be so easily influenced then he's not a good father and role model for the children.

@BellaBlooms2244

4 ай бұрын

I agree, but it wasn’t luck that saved her. She was already working and worked even harder to stay independent.

@jsb1585

4 ай бұрын

​@@BellaBlooms2244it was luck, in part. How many people in that situation have wealthy in-laws to substitute the father supporting his children? OP could very have been left out to dry had the circumstances been more typical

@sionc1372

4 ай бұрын

​@@jsb1585very true

@meanwhale4017

3 ай бұрын

@@jsb1585 In Us dont people can go to jail if they don't pay ? I mean In laws were just helping their son to stay out of issues

@unluckyomens370

3 ай бұрын

@@meanwhale4017 you have to sue which is generally pretty expensive and lengthy and even assuming she had sued when he wasnt paying shed still be the only person providing financially for the house although i do think its more accurate to say it was like at least 95% the moms effort that got her and her kids through it and 5% luck at most

I hate hearing women say "I don't want my kid growing up without a dad". That's stupid, it could do more harm than good in some instances.

@shortangel333

4 ай бұрын

I get it but also no one wants their kids growing up without parents who care enough to be involved with their life.

@Vampiric-Princess

4 ай бұрын

She literally changed her mind in the end.

@dangerszewski9816

4 ай бұрын

statistics don't bear this out. A father, even a bad one, in a child's life is the best predictor of them not going to prison, of them graduating highschool, of them earning a middle class or better income. Truth is dads are so important a bad dad is better than no dad and we have scientific proof of this.

@rubymeaddle

4 ай бұрын

​​@@dangerszewski9816 even the researchers who do those studies say the presence of the father isn't the important part, it's having two incomes in the household.

@leaellas8400

4 ай бұрын

​​@@dangerszewski9816Children with horrible dads are bound to repeat the wrong their fathers did when it is accepted within an unhealthy household. You obviously lack common sense.

People who grew up in 2-parent homes need to stop the toxic mentality of "A _______ parent is better than no parent!" OP's ex abandoned his family to _LOOK COOL_ , he morally(and legally) forfeit his responsibilities as a parent ffs. Edit: The two-parent comment was more about how individuals that did not experience a certain situation/struggle can be quick to dismiss or negatively judge. Example: I was 8 and already knew my dad was not a good person and wished my mom divorced him. From personal experience staying in a bad relationship for the kids is a terrible reason.

@doopist

4 ай бұрын

my brother in christ, i have never heard that, and as a 2 parented child i have never said that.

@matthewcardoza1190

4 ай бұрын

@@doopistthen you are VERY lucky; because back in earlier decades the aforementioned attitude was considered normal, especially when divorce was seen as shameful. Even now, many people still hold that belief that partners should stay married no matter how bad their marriage or relationship is because “a bad parent is better than no parent,” or “stay together for the sake of the children.” Both beliefs are idiotic and outdated, and can damage families worse than a divorce. But again, be grateful you never experienced that.

@user-jm6cl6fj1l

4 ай бұрын

@@doopistthen clearly you never suffered like the kids with deadbeat and immature parents. Your experiences are not universal

@elarianasky

4 ай бұрын

i thought the quote was going to be "a single parent is better than no parent!" bc yea i agree.

@Chaosqueenngami

4 ай бұрын

I agree. People think children are dumb and don't notice what is going on around them, but they can tell when something is wrong. They notice when their parents are abusive to each other, cold and distant or inattentive. Then, they either internalize that as normal and enter and tolerate dysfunctional relationships with others. I'd say it takes more strength and conviction to your child's well-being to leave a dysfunctional marriage, then it takes to stay in one.

This reminded me of someone's response to one of my comments a while back. My comment was, "It shouldn't be a woman's fault for not being able to keep the attention of her husband when he cheats. You become exclusive when you get married, unless it's agreed upon by both before marriage that it will be an open relationship." They said that women are like food. A man can't eat the same thing over and over again and not get bored. They will occasionally want to try something new, and it's reasonable to do so. They still love their wife, but they should be allowed to try something new rather than just their wife. It was messed up. They were adamant about their stance. Edit: And when asked if it works the other way around, of course, they said no. 😂

@haruk2312

4 ай бұрын

Males, the father of double standard .

@hazelmint6671

4 ай бұрын

Typical red pillers 😂

@xboxoneyes7734

4 ай бұрын

a yes Hypocrisy at its finest

@IceJJFishArchive

3 ай бұрын

Red pillers will say this then cry that women are opting out of dating and marriages 😂

@NamesZKP

3 ай бұрын

He didn't even want polygamy though so I highly doubt that's the case.

"Just leave the kids with someone and go have some fun." That would be instant divorce. Wanting a Mother to abandon her children just because he feels like he needs to run around like a child. She should have given up on him when he couldn't be asked to visit anymore. This is like another story I've seen where a Woman runs off to Europe, saying she'll be gone for a couple of months to "Find Herself" or some shit. Then she's gone for 6, husband basically gets a divorce and takes custody of the kids, she travels for another year and a half, is scared to go home and then goes to teach English in Thailand for 3yrs.

@MiraTheWarlock

4 ай бұрын

Is that the one where she was terrified of inheriting dementia after it killed her mother? I understand anxiety so I was sympathetic to her issues....for about 2 minutes, then she ruined it I believe the stories are true, but there's a confirmed example. One woman had ONE tough morning with her tiny kids so she vented to a stranger and he offered her to just leave with him right there and then...and she did. Didn't even come back with her stuff, just left. Was even declared missing and everyone accused the dad of offing her to have the kids to himself. Well she was found like YEARS later and....no one wants anything to do with her Don't remember her name but she's blonde and looks like a skeleton

@spiritwolf3103

4 ай бұрын

@@MiraTheWarlock the woman scared of inheriting dementia is a different story. The one the they are referring to is a young woman who decided to abandon her family and travel after having a child. When her husband asked for full custody, she took it as an opportunity to extend her, I don't know what to call her trip, by a couple more years. She eventually went back to see that her husband's friends pitched in and helped him raise his kid. I think it was 5 or so years after the child's birth when she returned. Can't remember. As for the one fearing dementia, she eventually returned after about 6 months and finds that no one in her family wants anything to do with her. One of the last updates says she is living in a van selling actual crystals, I think, or something like that. She is also nearing the end of the savings she took

@reneeharper84

Ай бұрын

​@@spiritwolf3103wow...

I thought the court would terminate his rights as no contact for 3 years has been used to cut parental rights before, also he has not been paying child support he has been a child getting his mummy and daddy to pay it for him. I'm surprised that didn't land him in a worse situation as it shows he can not provide for his kids. He honestly seems like the boy in the playground desperately trying to fit in at the cost of his old friends to be part of the "cool" kids.

@SkyEcho751

4 ай бұрын

I'm more surprised that they left him with rights in the first place, given _he_ wasn't even paying child support.

@TheGosgosh

4 ай бұрын

If the parents pay in his name….? The court doesn’t care from where the money comes in, as long as they get their cut of the cheese.

@thedorkone1516

4 ай бұрын

It varies by district and by whim of the judge.

@kellyann5587

4 ай бұрын

Here in NJ you can't terminate one parents rights without terminating both.

@BaeBunni

4 ай бұрын

@@SkyEcho751 his parents were paying for the child likely for him. Op claimed they were loaded so I would assume knows a lawyer or has one on retainer that would tell them that. I mean to be fair to the ex-inlaws were they really gonna expect their son who is sucking and f*cking in international places to bring a new successful wife and new grandkids?

I can assure you that if it was women who abandon her children and husband to sleep around and live the adventurous life then she wouldn't be getting even a step inside the house of her own parents. This guy literally abandoned the wife and his children to sleep around and when everyone gets a chance to have relationship they left and he is crying seriously?

@themoleman6806

4 ай бұрын

Oh there are quite a few women that do that. There’s an entire sub genre of them crying after they realize that they literally abandoned their whole lives and that a hedonistic lifestyle doesn’t actually make them happy.

@ryanmackenzie6109

4 ай бұрын

​@@themoleman6806Nice dog whistle you got there. Living a promiscuous life isn't for everyone, but it's not inherently bad. The bad part is abandoning a family you were supposed to help foster and care for with no fair reason. The same thing applies for everyone.

@themoleman6806

4 ай бұрын

@@ryanmackenzie6109 So disliking hedonistic excess is a "dog whistle" now. Way to tell on yourself. I'm sure your Funko Pops and p*rn collection are very proud of you. I'm sure that there's plenty of people that are happier with a "promiscuous lifestyle." I just don't think they're good or smart people. If someone dedicates themselves and is totally focused on what makes themselves happy at any time, they barely count as sentient at that point. They're overgrown emotional toddlers that wreck themselves and those around them. They only experience regret when they experience consequences and I don't see that as a sign of a good person.

@themoleman6806

4 ай бұрын

@@ryanmackenzie6109 "Dog whistle?" Oh no, I'm secretly flagging the fact that constantly chasing a dopamine high isn't the most important thing ever. Truly monstrous. I'm sure there are plenty of people "happy" in hedonistic lifestyles. I just don't like them. They tend to be so self centered and egotistical that they will destroy plenty of things. Even in this story, the other men were praising him for abandoning his family, it wasn't until one of them saw the consequences of his actions that he apologized.

@stutikhanna987

4 ай бұрын

@@themoleman6806 i never said women never do that. I am from India and I have seen fair number of people being in extra marital affairs from each age group. While men able to walk away with it and i never seen any men face much of consequences while on the other hand women never able to return back or hold anyone in life. The point is not who does wrong but the point is men and women face different type of consequences in such situations. Men might lost money or little reputation but they can work hard and people will forgive them. But if women make one mistake she will be criticize her whole life even if she did everything to redemption and we will make them suffer until they die with criticism.

A man who is willing to walk out on his own children is no man. Once you have kids, they are your priority. Period. I'm also a father of two young boys and going through a separation. The thought of having them only half the time is painful. I can't even conceive of a person being happy to just walk away

Yeah it’s TRULY over when he suggested to you to abandon your own kids as well

I lol'd so hard when Adam's motives were revealed, and even harder when the friends started dating and he tried to come back to his family just to "fit in"... somehow, his energy is very similar to the energy of a cheater whose AP eventually grew bored of them and left them for someone else. Not an ounce of sympathy for this creature (I refuse to call him a man). Now he gets exactly what he deserves: no friends, no wife and, hopefully in the near future, no kids.

@NamesZKP

3 ай бұрын

How did he cheat when they got a divorce though?

@DarkEinherjar

3 ай бұрын

@@NamesZKP I said the energy feels the same: dude ruins his family over his terrible choices, and now wants things to go back to how they were before.

"If we're meant to be, I'll find my way back!" SIR, do you have any idea of the astronomical odds of finding your way to her the first time around? And you're just throwing that away because. . . reasons? The only way you'll find your way back is by the light of the bridge you're burning.

Ya he left her during that intensive baby phase when the kids take all of your time and attention. She didn’t have the time or energy to focus on him, especially exclusively on him anymore. And based on everything she’s telling us, he probably didn’t do much of the nitty gritty parenting car and domestic work. Which means she was exhausted and really had no time or energy for him. So instead of thinking “oh hey if i do half the domestic and parenting work, my wife will have more time and energy for me, and I’ll also feel better for having invested in relationships with my sons” he decided “i’m getting nothing out of this, this is too much work and responsibility, I’m out”

Even if it’s not the friend groups fault I feel like anyone with common sense would’ve told him to literally take a step back because he wants to leave his wife and kids just to be apart of the friend group instead of cheering for him…

@ESPHMacD

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, none of them went "Whoa dude, maybe take a step back before you do something so drastic.... You don't have to dump them to be our friend." And who would want to be friends with someone who could drop their wife AND KIDS at the drop of a coin.

@terraguttierez2996

4 ай бұрын

Nope. The cousin and the friend group knew exactly what they were doing. Notice how OP was saying her friend rachel had a cousin who was bragging about managing to get a guy to dump his family for their philosophy. BRAGGING. They were proud of what they did. If the devil convinces you to steal, you stole, but you wouldnt say that the devil is a good person or did nothing wrong. Telling someone to do something wrong is STILL WRONG.

@PragmaticBLT

4 ай бұрын

It wasn't just the friends. It was the life style they where living. Traveling, staying at fancy hotels, sleeping with whoever and never having commitment to anyone but himself. He didn't just want to fit in, he wanted to be single. Now he is and hopefully he finds a way to enjoy it now that his bros are grown with wives and kids that they didn't up and abandon; unlike him.

@sevda3337

4 ай бұрын

Those in the freindgroup were toxic people now doubt, however, they are not responsible for the stupid decision made by the husband. None of them owe him, nor his family anything. If the husband had an ounce of decency he would realise how toxic these people were, drop their loser asses and go back home. But he didn't because he is an a-hole just like them. He needed an excuse to leave and they were convenient. If a new, similar friend group rises he will do it again.

@primadeluxe4910

4 ай бұрын

The only reason any of them felt guilt was because they met the woman they'd helped screw over. Its easy to not care about the victim when you don't have to face them.

the child support and alimony is a legally binding obligation, that's not a favour.

It is very absurd that he still has the right to visit, even with her present

I love how the parents wants a gold sticker for literally doing what they're supposed to... Like you raised a deadbeat dad the LEAST you can do is pay the child support HES supposed to be paying

Aren’t in laws doing the bare minimum of paying what the court literally ordered? They have no right to refuse. They can try and contest it but she’ll probably win because he’s not visited for 3 years.

I personally think Rachel should tell all the GF and fiancé of these guys what kind of stuff they were up to right before they met them. It speaks a lot about their character.

I laughed so much during this, could write a comedy sketch featuring this guy.

This is the "homies" And "the boys" shit these men keep talking about and then come around broke, stretched and dysfunctioned expecting that women would fix them Ain't nobody got time for that

ive been in a similar situation once. Friend group of about 5, one of my friends got married at 19 and had a kid at 20. 2 other guys in the group said he wasnt ready to be weighed down and encouraged him to "just pay child support". I snapped the fuck out of them and threatened to cut contact if they ever say shit like that in my presence again. Fast forward 8 years, Friend 1 is still married with 3 kids.

That first step to pregnancy is where you have to be the MOST responsible. Once a kid is here, they're here. Irresponsible fathers who dont think beyond their animal pleasure are undeserving of having intimate partners or being parents ever. I don't think people should be getting married or having kids before 25 anyway, why are people good with quick marriages with high school sweethearts? The husband isnt wrong for wanting exploration but he shouldve thought about that way earlier before signing legal contracts and creating new humans.

She dodged a bullet honestly. Adam seems easily led so god forbid if the group of friends he fell into were more dangerous.

Man op is the best mom someone can have. Hope those kids stay away from their deadbeat dad

Why did homie even get married in the first place if they were a burden from the get go

@thedorkone1516

4 ай бұрын

I've got a dollar says his parents told him "Marry the girl you knocked up or we cut you off."

I believe John Mulaney's father put it well when he said "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair." A very good descriptor for people like Adam.

I'd say the kids can have contact with dad if they want to, but he has no right to expect a warm welcome just because his parents paid HIS child support these three years while he was fuc*ing around and OP just happens to be single right now.

For the in laws, if they refuse to pay then its gonna be Adams responsability, and if he doenst pay hes going to jail.

Adam, First man, next to die

@feralcoffeeaddict1383

4 ай бұрын

I snorted my water, thanks 😂

@Sonj982

4 ай бұрын

My goat alistor lol

@luciferia.1313

3 ай бұрын

Love the refference

You know, I can't absolve the men in the 'cult'. They did encourage a man to abandon his marriage and family.

@raabbibi

4 ай бұрын

Definitely. There is something I believe to be evil in being proud of destroying a family.

@linwong1494

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely. Sure, its the guy’s decision to actually go through and do something as stupid as abandoning his family, but it’s still evil to encourage them to do that in the first place. The whole part where they claim they never outed him for not being single smells of bs, and of wanting to absolve themselves of the guilt. I don’t buy it for a single second.

Yeah no cult follower would be near my children

I wonder when the realisation that he had it all and lost it all hit him I understand cults are persuasive and some people fall prey to such things but that's no excuse for abandoning your children if he fell out of love for the mother fine have a divorce but prioritise the kids but no he abandoned everything he had it all and lost it all I don't feel sorry for him I pity him the man he became doesn't deserve to be a parent but if he's back and wants to have a relationship with his kids history hopefully won't repeat itself and he will put them first instead of letting his selfishness drive him the true measure of a man is how he acts with those he loves and he's not worth a penny

@Olimar92

4 ай бұрын

What's worse is that apparently the group didn't even actively tell him to leave his family. They just talked up what they thought at the time, and the Ex decided that's the life he wanted. They were being 20-something Dude Bros, and just supported him because they were being idiots.

@ImNotaRussianBot

4 ай бұрын

I don't think that was a cult. I was in two cults. A cult is much more organized, with a central authoritative leader. These were just a bunch of rich kids doing rich kids stuff. And Adam is weak-willed, easily persuaded, and cares too much of what people he seems "cool" think of him. He needs therapy and maturity to find the root cause of wtf is wrong with him to do such awful stuff just to get his noodle wet.

@ayceinquisitor190

4 ай бұрын

It wasnt even a cult. OP said this guy has to consult his friends to even buy shoes. That in itself is such a massive red flag for susceptibility by others. All his bros needed to do was talk about how much they enjoy their lifestyle to convince Adam. Those comments about "converting" him was probably just braggart BS. Adam has to be handheld through his decisions and I would see his parents handholding him through his attempts to be a parent. Adam strikes me as a guy who has a low ability for critical thinking, a weak personality/sense of self and since he really thought his ex wife would just welcome him back.... NO sense of responsibility, consequences or accountability. "Man child" might be too soft a term.

@allisonreed3420

4 ай бұрын

I don't think he did realize. The new "in" thing was having a family.

@GamerGrovyle

4 ай бұрын

This isn't even a cult it's just a gang of mid twenties guys wamting to live life freely.

Is it bad that all I was thinking was, "perfect, let's get him to give up parental rights and/or custody." I'm not sharing my baby with a freak.

He had it all. A loving family and loyal wife, the opoortunity to have his own home and ditched it all. What a loser. On another note, why did I imagine Adam as the guy from Hazbin Hotel?

Some people are just easy to manipulate. Not even thinking twice.

@anthonyrodriguez8788

4 ай бұрын

the worst part is that it sounds like this idiot wasn't even manipulated. he just saw some people who were happily single and decided to leave his wife and children like a kid on the playground who ditches their friends to play with the cool kids.

Adam is the epitome of future of all these redpill gurus and manchildren who follow them

So the cousin was bragging about how they ruined a family till he found out that it was Rachel's friend(aka OP) who got the bad end of the deal? yeah I would have SUE the dude like what? yeah Adam is a jerk but the cousin was kind of worse "oh yeah we're part of a no-relationship cult" like maybe if you hadn't said that Adam would probably be like "Oh Wow am glad I have these friends and I don't have to force myself to change and cause any form of stress and pain on my wife and kids!" like dude adam what are ya a highschooler?!

Dude's like this always lose their minds once kids are there. The fact that he suggest their both abandoned them to go live their lives? That's what you do before you decide to bring kids into the fucking world.

dont let ex hubby and trashy in laws hear the end of it

The fact that he didnt even came back because he was missing his ex wife and kids but for convienience is unfathomable, he deserves to never see his kids again

Op´s ex is dumb... How can somebody expect to get a normal life back, if you are at fault for your ruined life in the first place? If i would honestly want that life back i, as a man, as a father, would show how i can change and get back to getting to know my children, work for the child support so that my own parents don´t need to pay and try to fix things on my own and not blame others... But as i can see, the dude in this story does to less to late... (I am well aware that he could not fix the relationship betweem him and his wife but if he realy wants to be a dad again he could try to provide for them, try to be more there for them and so on...)

His bros not taking responsability for anything and gaslighting the sh*t out of him... it's probably the best part.

This story randomly reminded me of the song The Beautiful South - A Little Time. Good choice on the OP's part not to get back together with the child wearing the skin of an adult. Suprised the court left him any custody.

Even a bad father can be a good example. If you let your kids build up hate and sadness without an outlet, they will find one. I'd have the father write all this down so that he doesn't change the story mid way through.

As if he was some prize after spending 3 years wh*ring around. Also, the child support and alimony is what he legally had to pay that they chose to pay for him. It doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants and then come waltzing back in whenever he wants.

Yeah it's fun to live with your bros when none of you have relationships going on until you're like 25 and realize it's not really scratching the same itch it did when you were 19 Leaving your family to do that when you're older is insane. You wanna live with all dudes where you can't have relationships? Just steal a car and go to jail for a while, maybe they would forgive you then

I doubt he’s going to be active in the kids’ life. He probably wanted visitation rights so he could see op and try to get back with her

oh no the consequences of his stupid actions 😂

Adam in the immortal words of Taylor Swift 🎵we are never getting back together🎵

I can't understand why people do that after having kids and getting married. If you wanna be a crazy hippie you do it before lugging down someone with responsibilities

He has no rights and no family! He abandoned you and his kids and never payed child support. His parents paid grandchild support... He didn't use his visitation rights for 3 years, so that's not something he can claim either...

10:25 they say " oh back when we were in our mid 20s and still young" then 10:28 " oh but most of the guys are pushing 30 and don't want that lifestyle anymore" lol OH YEA that was soooo much time in between, 24-28 means you turned into old, wise men 😆😆 the they say " we were stupid back in the day". Back in the day what? 5 years ago at the very top? come on dude these guys cant be serious. Come back with that line when your pushing 40 talking about "back in the day". lol "back in the day, the olden times of 5 years ago" 🤣 Adam is a man child still, whole thing is messed up. i just thought that whole bit was dramatic.

these tiles man lol

I like his “they shouldn’t be burdened with this” line as if she can just erase her children from existence. So “he” wouldn’t be burdened while she’s left holding the bag. I sincerely hope she didn’t take him back and goes and finds someone else. I also hope she has sole custody since he was so willing to abandon his kids like they were meaningless trash.

There are other options. For example, yeah, Adam broke OP's heart, but that doesn't mean she's not too old to start dating again and wouldn't be able to find a good stepdad for her children. And there was a commercial, don't remember what for, but it showed a man without his wife teaching jis daughter how to shave, just explaining how the technique is different between a man's face and a woman's legs. Besides, her sons could end up joining the swim team, and those guys learn full-body shaving to be as hydrodynamic and thus fast in the water as possible. I'm just saying OP's kids don't need their biological father to teach them these things.

The nerve of the in laws to actually defend that loser. They didn't even take an active role in the kids' lives until their son comes crawling back?! Gawwwwd eff these people.

Better to learn 3 years in than much later in the marriage.

My money is on he told his parents a completely different story. No one in their right mind would defend abandoning your family

“Atleast my kids won’t have to learn how to have from tutorials” such a good mom! W

The kids will still feel that absence. I hope it works out with her and her family though

The biggest tragedy in this is that the guy grew up without a strong sense of what he wants, without his own identity. That’s why he is so easily swayed to change lifestyles. What caused it to be so, and how can we reduce the amount of such people in the future?

Those kids are so fortunate to have OP. She's supermom. Adam is a "follower" literally can't think for himself. OP is right that it is 100 percent his fault for misunderstanding the dynamic of that friend group which means that Adam already had feelings of regret.

She’s not in the wrong at all. Adam is, and so are his parents for not bashing the shit out of that idiot. He can never come back and be her husband, but if he agrees to therapy, maybe he can go back to being a dad.

his so called friend groups will receive their own karma too

The sad part is that in the beginning she was willing to beg this turd to not leave her and their children by divorcing her. Thank goodness that op found out why he really wanted his freedom. Then when he came back op was almost wavering in her decision to not let him in. Again thanks to some information explaining his return that she added some strength to her spine. But again she wasn’t sure after speaking to his parents if she was doing the right thing. I guess that she and her ex do have something in common. They both lack the willpower think for themselves without the influence of others. This is why you don’t pour all of your love into someone who doesn’t return that same love to you. Stop being a bloody people pleaser.

It feels like a common trend in a lot of these stories is people getting married quite young and having kids also relatively young, not saying that definitely plays a role but it is like super common here. Like I personally can’t see myself getting married or having kids younger at any age younger than 30. I can’t even see myself being mature enough or ready for that kind of deal at 30 personally.

I'm epicurian, meaning only friendships. I was invited to a party, drugged by my friends, and woke up with a grip who had a crush on me for years. They said they did it to get me offy high horse. I'm a great dad, still no relationships. This dude gives men a bad look.

As long the kids are fine with the revenge I say go for it🤷🏽‍♂️

Almost father of the year, close to Gabriel agrest (hes technically a fictional father, but kinda fits.) Mom is absolutely a candidate for the goat of mother's award.

People aren’t shoes that you can just put on or take off at your convenience.

He's the male counterpart of the "free-spirit gurl".

To anyone that believes this is fake: I have a friend who did similar. She got into a circle of "Free Love" people, who didn't believe in monogam/"bound" relationships. It was like 60s Hippie x polygamy, except it wasn't chill at all: My friend (1) got into debates with another friend (2) who was strictly mono. Partially because they had an on-off thing till Friend 1 came out as Aro/pan. It's not like friend 1 would chastise friend 2 or anything. The hurting part was she just...didn't get it. To Friend 1, it was the same like the Husband: Life should be free. About exploration. Sex shouldn't have "rules" of only sleeping with one person forever. Luckily she chilled with it rn. But that experience really stuck out. Our friendgroup was a big diverse mix of all kinds of peeps: Virgins who wait for relationships to Gals who slept with the fucking mailman. We all never judged each other. So it's obv. weird when someone happily goes around and just...trying to question any "motive" you have.

13:58 I would ask the kids; they might want to see him. I don't think he should, but they might wish to him. 15:52 she went to court; that's good.

A lesson in sunk-cost fallacy. And for a group of guys who didn’t need to make even a fraction of that cost themselves, class A tool right there

Those guys are just at fault. He even said they congratulated him. What nasty men.

Annnnnd the ‘Father of the Year.’ Award goes to….

This is so upsetting. Seems like OP’s ex was cheating or thinking about being unfaithful anyways. And the ex couldn’t communicate.

I'm genuinely confused at people describing situations like this and still asking AITAH when the situation is crystal clear.

Since his parents are rich, he probably never grew up with the threat of owning anything important having to be taken care of. Anything lost can be replaced and that includes family. He treated them like he gave away a pet and they would be happy to see him back no questions asked.

My sister and brother grew up without a father for a few years due to him dying and our mother took care of them by herself, up till she met my father. My grandmother (my mom's mother) buggered off for a couple of years, while my aunt, oldest uncle and my mother by themselves, not only to take care of themselves (my mom was a teenager at that time), but to watch over their two young brothers (my uncles) who were still in primary school at that time. My grandfather, however wasn't in the picture at that time because he buggered off sometime after my youngest uncle was either born or was a toddler and he had another family while he was still married to my grandmother.

If he want to be free, do that before oyu have responsibility (family).

So the "unbound Bachelor" club all grew up, and Adam who grew down to their level first didn't grow back up again.

A sick group of people to brag about ruining a family. Adam couldn’t have a mind of his own.

so his friend were supportive of him getting back with his wife but he still blamed them. If I were them I'd have tried to exclude him from the group the moment I heard he'd abandoned his kids to join

oh dang i hope there is an update this one was good

This lady is the goat

You can leave your wife-(still messed up) Don't leave your kids.

Grow ditching your responsibilities and run away isn’t growing that actually quite childish

Nah I think the friend group are getting off too easy here, they didn't "make" him do all that but they sure as shit didn't council him against it either, n'or did they not go as far as congratulating the poor bastard after he pulled the trigger. Adam's a PoS but he's the PoS that's holding the bag they handed him.

yo lute wildin on this one

@jgrAnimations23

4 ай бұрын

I understood that reference