How to Take Revenge On A Narcissist
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Sam Vaknin Richard Grannon Seminar Liverpool March 2019 "How to Manipulate the Narcissist or Psychopath"
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Revenge on a narcissist? 1. Learn from the (bad) experience. 2. Go on living a great life without looking back
@jcbanbury
4 жыл бұрын
I do agree, it's funny because they NEVER "cared" about you amyway, so if you try to get back at them in any way you kind of look foolish
@gmatinky3965
4 жыл бұрын
🙏🙌🌈
The best revenge is removing yourself from their life, influence, control...and watch them suffer with their false, miserable lie of a life.
@ashleehayley7061
5 жыл бұрын
actually watch the video
@pennykent5687
5 жыл бұрын
If I did that, which I'm hoping to do... I, unfortunately won't be able to see how my leaving will affect him, because I'll be gone. With MY Narcissist, I think he spent most his life in an effort to avoid me, not let me Love or be a part of his life as a sister... I often think if I just left or died he'd be really ok with that. Guess the only thing I should concern myself with is going ..... They say SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE, so I think that's what my plan will be. ,😁 Live Well.😀💪
@starlingswallow
5 жыл бұрын
Bue Crystal, yes and freaking amen. If you try to make them suffer or get revenge, you're just playing RIGHT INTO THEIR GAME. It shows them they pissed you off and they get Narc supply from it. Don't stoop to their level. Move on with your life and be as happy as can be!!!! THAT, my friends, is the best revenge. And don't do it for them, DO IT FOR YOU :)
@pennykent5687
5 жыл бұрын
@@starlingswallow I hate to admit you're right. Not cuz I want you to be wrong, no,.... Just cuz I really wish I could get revenge. Thanks for the brutal honesty. I really do mean that. -Painful to hear, but so true.🙁👍
@eurokay4755
4 жыл бұрын
@@pennykent5687 My narc is my older brother, but he is aggressive, verbally abusive, using our widowed mother and family concerns as an excuse, e.g., "I'm just protecting Mom." Mom says, "Well, that's just the way he is" when I he explodes on me. I'm here because I finally, finally woke up and realized nothing about that dynamic is going to change. Mom doesn't realize how many people, even her own brother and his kids (my cousins) avoid her in order to avoid him. I can't do anything about that, I finally learned, because at some level she's more interested in protecting him than herself. So, I'm working on changing me, my responses to the sick dynamic, so I can be present without being vulnerable.
"When fighting a monster, it is important to remember not to become one." - Frederick Neitzsche
@clairebear1359
5 жыл бұрын
So fucking pretentious you are
@hiddeninformation8661
5 жыл бұрын
That’s ironic as the last narcissist l came across modelled himself on Nietzsche even to the point that he emulates Neitzsche’s illnesses.
@oossum
4 жыл бұрын
True just bus they fkg heds and don't forget why yah did it. Keep the true context Sellf dafence
@susisonnenschein5069
4 жыл бұрын
Isnt being a narcissist already a miserable fate? why revenge? , just knowing what they are is giving me some relief . They are miserable unhappy people who are not able to change. Basically they are emotionally retardants. I wouldn’t want to be this.
@kymchessall7853
4 жыл бұрын
@Donald J why so jealous? Sounds like narc rage and revenge to me
Being that they feed on attention, their worst nightmare is to be ignored. Avoid them like the plague--ZERO contact...forever.
@ktajax
5 жыл бұрын
Can be other way around. I grew up in family that ignored right when you need the most.
@lynndenver28
5 жыл бұрын
Kman how when u have a child with one it's a living nightmare
@ktajax
5 жыл бұрын
@@lynndenver28 Sorry to hear. I can only imagine. May I suggest Teal Swan. She is on YT and may be able help.
@lynndenver28
5 жыл бұрын
Kman thank you for taking the time to reply, yes i have a wee look thank you.
@ktajax
5 жыл бұрын
@@lynndenver28 You're welcome.
Dealing with narcs should be a school subject.
@gauper7598
4 жыл бұрын
Knowing the demon by it's real name makes it powerless
@christiandiaz
4 жыл бұрын
Gonna teach my nieces how and why to avoid a narcissist when they get older
@jamesmcmillan2656
4 жыл бұрын
Totally agree,I’m going to teach my grandchildren
@mojohnson5134
4 жыл бұрын
timefilm lmaooooo
@leadgenmagic4554
4 жыл бұрын
MIght have saved me 33 years of my Life.
When they show you who they are .Believe Them .
@sabrine379
4 жыл бұрын
👌
@danpetru
4 жыл бұрын
@Donald J Dude, i know you're gonna say, or think that, who doesn't understand you isn't at your level and i'm willing to admit that, in the things you are talking about i am not...maybe I am on other things though.......but you are talking in a language of your own, for me - who,i usually read very carefully and tend to understand what people are trying to convey, even if they don't put it very planely or in many words...but, with what you've written i cannot make it into a folowable statement. Except that empaths aren't well equiped or as strong as they think they are. I felt the need to give you some outside oppinion, if you can use it well i'm glad and if not, well forgive me
@danpetru
4 жыл бұрын
@Donald J Ok now don't make me better than i am- the '' maybe I am in other things'' means something that you may have missed and this is me being as patient as i can . In rest have it your way i won't read that much of a message anyway because i'm not convinced... However i have a question: did anybody understand your texts? .... i know two philosophers tried to interpret them but did they or anybody come back with an apropriate question that showed you they new what you were talking about?
@pawan21981
4 жыл бұрын
Thats what i did ...hmmm thanks to nar for revealing themselves
@LuckInklusiv
4 жыл бұрын
know thyself :)
My revenge is simple: I accept I've been abused. I learn how and why that happened, so I can trust myself again. I forgive them, so I can be free, less naive, no more scared; a better version of my self. It's painful, hard and challenging, but it's the best way for me.
@fx4147
4 жыл бұрын
I think it as a blessing in disguise; we learn about ourselves, them and the world.
@patriciapaulineguevara4123
4 жыл бұрын
acaso illustrator that is the road I am choosing
@stephanieduncan9023
4 жыл бұрын
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
@GH-ph7ng
4 жыл бұрын
acaso illustrator AGREE 👍🏼that’s my strategy as well . Great minds think Alike:)
@dannym6552
4 жыл бұрын
ya, but what if they r after your ability to earn a living, harder to walk away. An eye for an eye may just be the solution?
I would say the best revenge is going zero contact and going on with your life. They don't exist treat them like they are dead. This has actually worked for me.
@marylouleeman
5 жыл бұрын
Even better is to have a happy and victorious life right in their faces but this takes a lot of healing, forgiveness, bearing with them and their rude behavior.
@marylouleeman
5 жыл бұрын
I am letting them know that they are being replaced. I have new friends, am adopting family members among spiritual friends. I had to detach in order to think this way. Took a lot.
@Cortanasboyfriend
4 жыл бұрын
mlu ccc wouldn’t work they don’t care if their life is better
@Cortanasboyfriend
4 жыл бұрын
Wouldn’t work with some
@stephanieduncan9023
4 жыл бұрын
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
Revenge on a narc? Don't even think about it is my advice. There's a saying in my native country (I'll do my best to translate it into English): "When you don't let the 'dead' die, the dead won't let you live."
@bichepo
6 жыл бұрын
ok wild guess. you didnt actually watch the video?
@catelewis7223
4 жыл бұрын
Oh that's a good saying....
@johndoedoe8812
4 жыл бұрын
@@bichepo 👍!
@Graemedico
4 жыл бұрын
WORDZ 😎
@pija5877
4 жыл бұрын
I'll keep that one in mind in case of zombie apokalypse :D
I LOVE how Richard addresses the concept of EVIL as a reality, and not a perspective.
My „revenge“ is NO CONTACT. Silence treatment, gaslighting - call it what you want, I call it RETURN TO SENDER. Giving them a taste of themselves. Bon appetit! 🍽
@pawan21981
4 жыл бұрын
Yea giving them taste of thier own medicine 🤘
@shaniecegullison
4 жыл бұрын
@@pawan21981 🤗😀😭😂😂😂😂😂😂bon appetit
@ahoneekesong9004
3 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂I know it's bad but I recently did it to him too and he has been begging for everything he has done. I told him I don't hold anything against him, but I have definitely learnt and awakened and he is now like you're talking like I've changed bla bla bla. He doesn't still understand. I'm gathering all the courage to finally go no contact this night. He definitely doesn't see it and I'm ready for the smear campaign as I don't care now . I need to find that peace again. I'm mentally drained already.
@irenemorley6518
3 жыл бұрын
This is great,I watch my narc loose every thing(home,family and job)just sat back and watched him go down down down.
The best revenge is living well AND leaving well enough alone!! One thing I've learned after nearly 60 years of life, life has a way of avenging itself without our help!!
@VioletRaya
4 жыл бұрын
Kathy Valentine that is the truth and I’ve seen it first hand. Karma on my enemies.
@dannym6552
4 жыл бұрын
what if the living well part is what they are messing with -- at some point bullshit needs a limit
@alonzomosley7
4 жыл бұрын
Hope you are right still waiting
@ErikisOfficial
4 жыл бұрын
WOOOoooow! That was so beautiful ❤
@moniquevandeplas5210
4 жыл бұрын
Did you actually see this come into play with the narcissist?
The best revenge for them is to live well. Move on to someone else that treats you good, do everything you always wanted to do, travel, take a class. Just be progressive and it will hurt them. They will think how dare they do well without me. It breaks them every time. Watch out for the hoovering.
@charlenemonique1
7 жыл бұрын
I agree 💯
@DappermarktAmsterdam
7 жыл бұрын
missmeonbs so right!!!
@aftrdrk7263
7 жыл бұрын
missmeonbs wow! that makes sense.
@CorlissH
7 жыл бұрын
Not that simple genius… sometimes their claws have many layers and when you've gotten free of one trap, theres another.
@nerdofgod4167
6 жыл бұрын
missmeonbs how long does hoovering last? It's been 3 days no contact and I have over 100s of missed calls, texts, messenger, messenger calls to see if I'm on the phone with someone else. It's crazy. They broke it off yet act as though they didn't.
I never knew what a narcissist was until I left and looked up mental abuse, did the test and cried.
@kenleach2516
4 жыл бұрын
She called me a Narcissistic! I had no idea people can be like that, 3 years old
@adellelouise8596
3 жыл бұрын
Ha ha, I googled his behaviour once at the very beginning. Narcissistic came up. I giggled coz I knew there was something very wrong. Shouldn't cry. Not worth it. Be glad your eyes were slightly open at that time otherwise you just may still be there.
Realize that they are already in misery and hell. Just be the best you can be.
Get revenge on a narcissist- Replace them with a dog.
My life was utterly completely ruined by narcissism the primary narcissist in my life: my mother. A core feature of this damage has been the fact that I attract narcissistic psychopaths like a magnet. The tragic thing about this circumstance is that you must become consciously narcissistic to prevent yourself from being utterly destroyed by these circumstance. The best I have been able to do in this war has been developing the ability recognize these people and circumstances and letting myself escape. At this point in my life this means that I am pretty much alone. I believe any "revenge" against these people and circumstances is to truly escape and thrive to the best of your ability.
@willzer808
8 жыл бұрын
so you would recommend taking some form of revenge on them Walter?
@walterwz
8 жыл бұрын
No way. Revenge is part and parcel of the narcissists trip. The primary narcissist in question is my mother. I can see how she was made the way she was by her narcissistic father. I also see how people who have this condition are not conscious of their real nature. They believe their own gas lighting and their grip on reality is always tainted by the condition. I am also sensitive to the fact that narcissism has points in common with autism and Asperger's syndrome. . Being born without basic social compatibility software makes the lives of those with this condition very difficult. The one aspect I am not willing to forgive or let off any hook is our fundamentally narcissistic culture and society. The Trump phenomenon shows exactly how rampant this condition is. My dream is to transcend this condition primarily in my self. I want to show deeper empathy in all my dealings. I want to attract healthy people into my life where this dynamic is not a factor. Since the worst thing being in a relationship with a narcissist is that it sets you up and programs you for failure, I think the ultimate revenge is to succeed.
@pamelamacdonald9139
7 жыл бұрын
escape is the best revenge
@ubiquitousbliss
6 жыл бұрын
similar happened with me, narc dad, narc b.f. then another for 18 years. did not fully comprehend how they operate until a year ago and have all the relatable people and their tales of such similar trauma out there now showing me how not alone I had been for 42 years. my goal now that i have taken steps towards a brighter tomorrow after going NC 6 weeks ago is to not let it jade me, to truly learn and become impervious without loosing the empathic part of me that, may have been what attracted narcs to me, but also what makes me a genuinely decent person, the one thing he /they never took from me was my heart no matter how much they stomped on it. keep thriving sir walter, there are wonderful kind people in this world and no matter how isolated any of have become, we do not have to go it alone.
@thereallisa1
6 жыл бұрын
Me too, Walter. Me too.
The best revenge is live with a Labrador that loves you, more than it loves itself. The way I do...
@jenlala389
5 жыл бұрын
It is a Parson Jack Russell from a shelter for me. They are much more intelligent than any narc and they have hearts like a lion. They HAVE HEART, COMMITMENT AND COURAGE!!!!
@lisahayes3648
4 жыл бұрын
Amen, though mine is a mastiff. A true rescue/therapy dog.
@jamaludin5887
4 жыл бұрын
hhoward14 I have a beautiful staff and small white fluff they are so beautiful Labrador is beautiful next is Dottie and husky we need dogs around us
@leadgenmagic4554
4 жыл бұрын
MIne is a Golden Retriever. LOL!
@leadgenmagic4554
4 жыл бұрын
Mine is a Golden Retriever. LOL!
I don’t want revenge or for anyone to suffer... I just want peace
@barbaraleszczynski2214
4 жыл бұрын
Pamela L. Ables Pamela...I'm with you here and completely understand. I am today going through the suffering of dealing with a narcissistic sister who is tormenting me. I don't want revenge but peace just as you. Just your comment made me realize what a sweet and gentle soul that you are. I hope and pray that your life has or will soon be peaceful as you deserve. God Bless!
@gmatinky3965
4 жыл бұрын
🙏🙌
@dedrostjean4773
3 жыл бұрын
That's my exact feeling, leave it in God hands
@primsandwhims7533
3 жыл бұрын
You get peace by getting away from them. And whatever they do is on them. It's not anyone's fault but theirs. They can't accept fault. So if they commit suicide that's their fault.
@irenemorley6518
3 жыл бұрын
Bless.
I slapped my narc then said it didn’t happen dude looked at me like I was the devil 👿 Lool
@ErikisOfficial
4 жыл бұрын
😆😆😆😆😆😆
@melntribe4403
4 жыл бұрын
Ace
@mrtwister9002
4 жыл бұрын
Reactive abuse. Mine would gas light me. I gas lit her. She freaked out when I did it. Damn near had a stroke.
@vigoroustips5168
4 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@shaniecegullison
4 жыл бұрын
💪💪💪💪💪♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😀😀😀😀😀😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Richard...The best revenge is to lead a happy life, without the narc playing any part in it. Luv Max!!
@Graemedico
7 жыл бұрын
Frieda Waters ....YES!!
@venusianscorp
6 жыл бұрын
Yes I don't think I can ever go to that level. Best revenge is to live our life well and do what builds us up. And of course no contact from them.
@clairechloe5294
5 жыл бұрын
Frieda Walters - Yes so true and well-said. Thanks for those precious words.
Narcissists hate being exposed more than anything. Even merely suggesting they have narcissistic personality disorder will ignite the fury of a thousand suns and they go on a rage rampage - and of course, predictably, accuse you of being a narcissist. It's like clockwork lol
@bonnielee7134
5 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I now leave comments telling people to unmask the narcissist and make them discard you and a miracle happens. They melt away! No need to worry about going no contact or hovering with that played card.
@pippipster6767
5 жыл бұрын
LeSaMilano Yes it’s the reverse vortex - where the more right you are, the more wrong you will be. Then savagely and aggressively destroyed.
@sarahjohnson8514
5 жыл бұрын
Bonnie Lee I did that and the one I knew so far hoovered me once nearly a year later.
@blackmaster73
5 жыл бұрын
Yeh. This could be the only diagnostic criteria. I do however agree with others that the safest exit strategy is to be very nice to them and maybe somehow blame the fact that you can't maintain contact on yourself.
@happygoluckyh.t.d.4life.739
5 жыл бұрын
yup I agree, mine is a neighbor hell bent on making me move, I posted a "Caution Psychopath at play!" sign in my window. Im first on this road, I want him to explode under my security cams to show the police, I just thought of this yesterday so I want more to add my Video Diary report which lands at cop shop tomorrow. I will determine what sort of food this narcie gets off of me.
But my narcissist blocked me. I heard they get their fix that way by thinking they are hurting you. Best to show ur living ur life.
@mathewdempsey2661
4 жыл бұрын
If there not a narcissistic person this can do a lot of emotional damage if you get it wrong , he's telling the public to self diagnose , not everybody is a narcissis getting this wrong and the person loves you hope this world gets it right
Every time you move your hand, the dog says, “this might be the move that pets me!”
KInda sad I've learned more about life in 37 minutes on KZread than these past 1.5 years at my education. Great video mate thanks.
@andreameyer6393
6 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant!
@eldona7747
6 жыл бұрын
I agree!!! Although I've done a lot of personal development in the last 3yrs, it didn't make a difference when I met a narc. I've found a deeper understanding now. Thank you!
Thanks for allowing an Empath (me) to get revenge by thinking like a Narc and reversing the roles. It's a wonderful feeling. You're a genius! 😘
@marylouleeman
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, very empowering, though I will leave true revenge with God per scripture. Because forgiveness is key so I won't be eaten alive with bad thoughts.
After learning a lot from grannon’s work and set clearer boundaries, I’ve noticed that if I retaliate against the narcissist with a smile on my face they really back off. If they see that you are taking pleasure in hurting them emotionally they are fooked. If you retaliate in a bad emotion state ie, anger... you’ve lost
You’ve got to starve them of their “supply” and go no contact as much and often as possible.
@marylewis2167
4 жыл бұрын
That is what I'm doing to a person who stole from me. Totally ignore BOUNDARY!!!!
@Guardianangel369
4 жыл бұрын
This is what I'm doing, I've gone from being a desperate crying mess who calls him begging to come back, to now not giving a shit and ignoring him, i know he's confused And I think he's panicking that I'm moving on, and guess what, he's now contacting me! He even said to me after we spoke, I'll call you tomorrow, but he didn't. Now normally I would have called him asking why he didn't call me back, but I did nothing! Now I know what I'm dealing with I'm not hurt anymore, he's sick and I know anyone he's with will get the same treatment, I spent so long thinking it was me, but it's him! It might be the wrong thing to do, but I'm playing him at his own game, I hold the cards, and he doesn't have a clue!
@MrGilRoland
4 жыл бұрын
Beware of this “tactic” if you’re still in love, because once you starve them of their supply, it’s not like they stop to be a narcissist. They’ll search for new supply, they’ll search for new supply like literally their life depends on that, with all that it means. So, as always, it’s all good as long as you know what you’re doing and why. “Revenge” usually isn’t a good counselor.
Exposing or confronting a true narc can be dangerous. So be careful.
@jeanettecook1088
Ай бұрын
People don't realize that this is true. I was almost murdered by a narcissist... they are quite capable of crime. The best method is to depart silently after preparing for your exit... no noise, discussion, just go. Maintain "no contact" after that. It takes a bit of mental discipline... but it's the only effective way to deal with a narcissist. Don't go back!🎉
I played all these games with my ex and possibly beat him at his own game by leaving him. What I found is all of this is so childish and unhealthy. I couldn't deal with the games any longer as it is exhausting.
@sidarthur8706
6 жыл бұрын
that's it
@stephanieduncan9023
4 жыл бұрын
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
@rohithreddy75
3 жыл бұрын
Any normal person wouldnt do it back
I have found, through my experience, that I can easily get revenge on the narcissist because of the web of lies they create, and their habit of running away from all their BS
Man, I wish I'd found this info a couple decades ago...
@ModernDomme
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah kind of like the codep empath 😄
@themetamorphosisofgipsy
4 жыл бұрын
You and me both
@Guardianangel369
4 жыл бұрын
Yes!!!
@melntribe4403
4 жыл бұрын
Better later than never ;)
Best revenge is to ignore them and stay away. If approached, act friendly but keep your distance and keep your cool. Smile, say hello and walk away. Don't say anything negative and never accept any invitation or request for information. DON'T GET ENTANGLED. Do not keep up the conversation. Say hi, say bye and smile.
@berthugh2214
6 жыл бұрын
Amdrew Boehmer: What's with the "smile" part? That's not appropriate. You don't feel good about seeing them or running into them somewhere. You don't think they are good people. You are not happy to see them. You say "act friendly," & then say "ignore them." You say "stay away," then you say "smile, say hello." You act afraid of emotional unpleasantness, & vacillate between conflicting behaviors. Being a "people pleaser" & afraid to express your true feelings or even confronting another is why a narcisist is so attracted to you in the first place. They target people like you. Don't feel alone, I am that way too. Or used to be, but am practicing the cold shoulder whenever I am on the same elevator with a narcisist who is still on a character smearing campaign against me. She is a covert narcisist who always acts the victim, & is sly like a snake-in-the-grass, & acts wounded in a dramatic way, like her targets are the perpetrators, Never Her. I never say a word to her, I never smile when I pass her by (even though I am a very happy, smiley person in general), & I will jump down her throat if she says Anything condenscending or critical of anything about me, to my face, or in conversation with someone else where I can hear her. Her response is to try to "love bomb" me. Disgusting. I just walk away with no response & no facial expression at all. It is she who now walks on eggshells around me! And she lives two doors away from me. I don't encounter her anymore in the hall...I hear her door click shut when I come out my apartment to go to the elevator. She is afraid to come around me. I view her as a lowly vermin, & I am Paul Bunyon! I have decided I have value & I will not fold, bend, spindle & mutilate myself just to NOT make someone else uncomfortable. I decided other people will have to deal with come-what-may. I feel wonderful now---I have been true to boundaries I set for myself. It is still a work-in-progess, but is becoming increasingly more second nature to me now. Gotta watch Richard Grannon SpartanlifeCoach in his video: "15 Traits of People Pleasers." Its about traits of the people who are typical targets of narcisists--the traits that one has to work on in oneself to "fix." What an eye-opener for me! Take care.
@newlifenewhope5905
5 жыл бұрын
Don’t smile!! Use the grey rock technique and keep your expression as neutral as possible! I couldn’t go NC with my narc, as we share care of our child. I thought the best way to treat him was the way you described, acting as if all was normal and I was happy and friendly. But, when I learned about the grey rock technique, I realised that I was making things too easy and pleasant for him, and giving him control of the dynamic between us. He never smiles at me, and generally behaves in a fairly neutral way, until he doesn’t like something I’ve done (usually in relation to our child). Then, he’d revert to his old bullying tactics, lecturing me on and on, and no matter what I said, he’d just repeat himself, as if I never said anything. Now, I’m hoping that using grey rock and JADE will help me get some control back, in the future. Still a work in progress, though!
@BeingLifted
5 жыл бұрын
berThugh2 I have NPD neighbor issues, too. As long as I acted friendly toward her, especially with other neighbors around, it fueled her rumors. Nowadays, I pretend she's not there. I need to watch this video, though, before I'm sure it's the best I can do. I'm looking fwd to the ppl-pleaser video, too. Thanks!
@twinsoultarot473
5 жыл бұрын
John Mitchell You can't win because they enjoy even the abuse.
@sarahjohnson8514
5 жыл бұрын
Andrew Boehmer Nope. Just ignore completely and act like they don’t exist and document everything.
This is so right on. The best way to heal from codependency is to stop being a victim. The worst thing you can do to yourself is have a mindset of self-pity. What was your part? Even if all you did was show up, or answer the phone, or be silent when you should have spoken up- that was your part! You had control over that, and if you can see that now, you can learn from it, and do better in the future. Focus on yourself, and don't EVER be a victim if you truly want to heal.
@christophermosley5885
6 жыл бұрын
Kellie Barlow truth!
@susanna8612
6 жыл бұрын
True but that does not still make right how other person treated u. If it helps someone to move on to speak out, not just swallow the shit alone and try move on then that is okay. The thing is that with normal healthy people you don't need to calculate your words and actions before hand "should I reply, should I not reply, should I say this, should I not....should I feel this or not" when you have learn to communicate and relate with normal people and then narcissit suddenly enters your life, it is normal you act as you have use to with other people. It takes time to realise that there is something so wrong going on and there is no solutions since there is no 2 mature adults relating and trying to understand and caring each others. At the time things have became very clear it's already more complicated If there is already hurts and also some attachment to the person anyhow. I'm sure everyone would act differently if they would have known better and could turn back time, maybe next time around yeah. Dealing with narcissits is just that kind of sick mind fuck, that even most intelligent and independent person can mess up their head and clarity with them.
@roraalice
6 жыл бұрын
Kellie Barlow i
@newlifenewhope5905
5 жыл бұрын
Not being a victim does not mean that you were to blame for your abuse!! It’s about taking back control of your life, by healing and learning what made you vulnerable to deception by these abusers, and developing good boundaries, so that it won’t happen again. But, blaming the victims of the abuse won’t do them any good!
@beautymuse2688
5 жыл бұрын
@@susanna8612 thank you! Very helpful cuz I wonder so much on that, I've never really tested it cuz I cant (or have been taught before consciousness and havent really had the courage to test it out) that if I hurt someone's feelings or create anger in them my very survival will be a stake. I must test this out to get any kind of sense of what a normal reaction is! Curious if you have any thoughts on some less risky, first grader, baby steps ways to do this? It can be hard to resist such deep training... my heart is racing like I'm about to jump out of an airplane just thinking about it. Ahhhh! If not I will figure it out myself. I am VERY creative!
Pretty cool! I tried this and it actually worked. I took all the anger and started thinking about how disgusting a narcissist is. It's not the love we deserve. Narcissists are actually gross and don't feel bad for thinking that.
It took two marriages to narcissists to shatter my illusions and to understand, at a deep level, that just because people seem nice and behave normally, it doesn’t mean that they are what they appear. I knew that at a logical level, of course. But somehow, when I was confronted with people like that, I just took them at face value, as I tend to do with everyone. It’s taken a long time and a lot of heartbreak, but I am doing better now. At this point, I’m not sure if I will ever trust anybody, completely, again.
A little social experiment for you budding psychologists out there: can you tell by reading the comments on this video who actually watched the video fully before posting a comment and who posted a comment that is just a knee-jerk response to the title and what they think (wrongly) the video might be about?
@laytondestiny6943
9 жыл бұрын
SPARTANLIFECOACH Wondering what you could possibly mean and then finding the answer in the very next comment...priceless.
@WaRLoKWYATT
9 жыл бұрын
This video is pure fucking gold. This should be #1 on youtube. Alot of fucking bastards could use hearing this. I deal with the worst of the worst kind of narcissists on a daily basis. I am at my wits end with these people and it just won't end. Ahh!!!
@WaRLoKWYATT
9 жыл бұрын
You try so damn hard to reason with them and they just double down on their idiocy. It's insane, truly. They are very sick minded people too.
@polifonyann
9 жыл бұрын
Have to admit I commented while watching. Lol
@kdnichols99
9 жыл бұрын
SPARTANLIFECOACH Is it the same as the book? Read the book the last couple of days. VERY much enjoyed it!
Extremely well articulated. So totally nailed everything about Narcissism. His last comments "Grow up. Move on. Live well." and "know yourself, know your boundaries" is life changing. Thank you!!
Starve the narc. Meaning every thing you say in response to their provocative manipulations is their AMMO. So stop talking! Keep it as minimal as possible.
@Kayenne54
4 жыл бұрын
Yes. Give 'em nothing, take 'em nowhere, and drop them off suddenly half way to nothing. Don't even give them a reason why.
@nickaiser5231
4 жыл бұрын
Being sarcastic or lying can help.
@donmulder8061
4 жыл бұрын
Excellent point. As a tactic, use your ever present smartphone. "Excuse me, I have to take this call..." LOL
@nickaiser5231
4 жыл бұрын
@@donmulder8061 it works. If they want to be the star in your life make them non existent.
@formepvp
4 жыл бұрын
have been doing this for years, its not satisfying
You literally save my life and my sanity with these talks, Richard. I am surviving my narcissist abuse and I am writing a survival guide book, writing it as things happen. Send good vibes
My narcissist is so adept they have a ferris wheel full of people loaded at all times. If you don't play their way or leave, i.e. get off the ferris wheel, they just go to the next person on it.
@vaiciciaku
8 жыл бұрын
BodaBoom BigAl two narcs I know are constantly on the ferris wheel, a very good remark!
@plalelal
8 жыл бұрын
Vida CK The narc's aren't on the ferris wheel, their victims of supply are.
@vaiciciaku
8 жыл бұрын
BodaBoom BigAl thanks for pointing out! Maybe I need to understand the concept of ferris wheel better. And I thought I know everything about narcs! ;)
@plalelal
8 жыл бұрын
Vida CK LOL! No prob, hell they confuse us all, right?
@eartianwerewolf
8 жыл бұрын
BodaBoom BigAl it isn't hard to get people groveling to be honest.
how i took revenge on my narc ZERO contact
@carlogambino1979
5 жыл бұрын
And did it work did she not hoover?
@twelvesmylimit
5 жыл бұрын
Same here.
@rpmcmurphey927
5 жыл бұрын
THE 1 High five- That's the only way. Break free, without guilt, simultaneously heal. ZERO is all it takes.
@amymuchko7106
5 жыл бұрын
I was gonna say.
@sarahjohnson8514
5 жыл бұрын
carlo gambino They all hoover.
Extremely well said! Great videos! This one is the very best ... I just calmly confronted a Narcissist in a meeting this week and he went friggin nuts! It worked! He was suddenly exposed to the others in the room.
@NOT_SURE..
4 жыл бұрын
how did you do it ? what did you say?
I think this is the best video yet on what real narcissism is. They are conmen, criminals, psychopaths, infantile, manipulators, etc....and they are not brilliant, everything you said was very well put! Thank you for this, it has helped me more than any other thing I've heard. You have a great sense of humor too, I needed the laughs as well! Best Wishes!
Revenge? Just ignore them!
@FeelingShred
7 жыл бұрын
Ignoring and having a hidden camera recording is the best. But we live in an age that there are no jobs anymore, young kids can't afford to go out to live by themselves and have to stay at home sustaining prolonged abuse, this is truly awful. Nobody asks to be born, specially living with monsters.
@jayguzman8426
7 жыл бұрын
Carlos White I agree
@lizab4208
7 жыл бұрын
the problem with that is they don't go away easy and do stupid things
You know what my revenge was after 10 years & two babies, Leaving! And even now 7 years on I live the hell out of life in spite of him. I wear what I want, I do what I want & slap as much makeup on as I want. It's bizarre to think in the UK in this day and age you can actually be oppressed in a relationship, simple day to day freedom is under rated, just sitting in peace in my own home without feeling completely head f*cked or traumatised after doing absolutely nothing wrong is bliss, life is too short for hate or bitterness, it definitely gets better. I just wish I knew then what I know now as I wouldn't of wasted 10 years on some crazy roller coaster with a psychopathic, violent npd nut job.. Your vids are brilliant btw xoxo
@QueenX222
7 жыл бұрын
I have been in the same sit. and Just Left the one I were blind he's right it's like brainwashing Its still fresh But I know it's one of the best decision I ever made I had 3Kids with the narc. but I'm free and have some Peace I have set boundaries and he's trying to break them but I am standing Firm
@profilingmanipulation
7 жыл бұрын
+Xiomara Sacasa Good for you! Stay strong 😘😘
@QueenX222
7 жыл бұрын
Ok
@charliechase7390
7 жыл бұрын
Biten once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me. You like so many mothers out there, want to blame your own stupid decisions to have children (2!) not 1, 2 children with some one that you KNEW you would not be happy with in the long term. Good luck being a second rate single mother for the rest of your life.
@profilingmanipulation
7 жыл бұрын
Cheers Charles Love & Light! 😘
I learned the hard way that just listening to or just associating with a narcissist is consenting to their behavior. That's why, when they do something worse, they expect you to allow it, as if nothing happened.
I am busting at the seams. We are on the same frequency with humor. I love that I can learn something about my shitty situation & come away laughing.
It's really about knowing the nature of the beast. But not becoming one. It's really about knowing thyself. With awareness everything can be dealt with in a better way.
@vaiciciaku
8 жыл бұрын
JD ashcroft I think it is also practicing stepping out of the comfort zone and acting differently. Once acting like a predator has the concequence of pulling you out of the victim role forever! ; )
@buddha8910
8 жыл бұрын
Yes being a victim renders one powerless. And unable to move forward. However I wouldn't advocate revenge.
@vaiciciaku
8 жыл бұрын
If you watched the video, I think it has a more provocative title rather than contents. He is more advocating trying the other side of the game, just trying an opposite role in order to better understand what a narc is really made of. IMHO it also serves a great purpose to get out of the usual role of a victim. He definitely does not advocate becoming predators and prosecuting all the narcs you can find and destroying them all with their own weapons. I think from the nature we are so far on the other scale that a little practice makes us a bit more balanced but not narcs ourselves.
@mef1975
8 жыл бұрын
JD ashcroft Quite difficult to be abused without becoming an abuser. It's takes a bit more than awareness, but yeah, that's totally necessary. It would take like the exercising of a sort of free will (that the awareness can help bring) to put forth new thought patterns and reroute neural pathways as new habits are being developed. Some people go as far as to brainwash themselves with drugs and change their name. Pretty freaky, those trips to Peru. I wouldn't do anything like that.
@JB-gm5hz
8 жыл бұрын
JD ashcroft Thank you, and well said. I found this link very helpful to expand my awareness: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201311/6-signs-narcissism-you-may-not-know-about There's a lot of empowerment in separating oneself from a narcissist by choice and moving on to better things. It's a way to step out of the victim role without taking on negative traits.
Very helpful. Just catching on to Narcissism. Been a victim all my life. Now I isolate.
@kasechris
8 жыл бұрын
You shouldn't stay in a place of isolation. I did that for so long. It takes work and effort, but you can grow and learn and learn how to spot boundary-less people. There are many decent people out there. Keep up learning and watching the videos!
@pamelamacdonald9139
7 жыл бұрын
me too
@Roxsandee
7 жыл бұрын
:..AND ME TOO...YEARS OF ISOLATION...FINALLY I FORCED LEAVING THE SAFETY OF NO CONTACT WITH ANYONE...MET SOME PREDITORS...BUT WITH THIS NEW INFO I QUICKLY MOVED ON ...JUST THIS WEEK I BEGAN NURTURING 2 NEW FRIENDS...I EASILY SEE THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE. I BET THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I'LL MESSAGE AND TELL YOU WE'RE STILL FRIENDS...THANKS RICHARD...YOUR INFORMATION ALLOWED ME TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AND LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS
@Roxsandee
7 жыл бұрын
THANX KIM...HOW RIGHT YOU ARE...BLESSINGS TO YOU...
@christophermosley5885
6 жыл бұрын
Roxsan Ambrosini that's what I'll be doing SOON
OMGOODNESS your dog is such a sweet heart!!! :)
"Max has farted , speaking of serious consequences..." I lost my shit when you said that.🤣🤣🤣 (Great video and advice btw)!
Thank you! Your video is very empowering. The idea that the Narc's tactic of propaganda is bang on. I hadn't thought of that word to describe it. When you talk about the narc sticking their fingers in your wounds; it was an aha moment. When I detached from the narc, soon after he sent me an email listing all the reasons why he thought I was mentally unstable. He also brought up my divorce, my miscarriage and my children, all areas of sensitivity and very personal events in my life. This was all under the guise of 'concern' for me. Sick!! Love your co-star :)
The best thing I advise anyone who is dealing with a narcissist who has a severe personality disorder is to run as fast as you can. You can't put yourself down into their evil world. Anyone who has any empathy can't deal with an NPD. They are mentally ill and you will just be putting yourself into more distress! My Narc would kill cats as a child and would get excitement out of causing havoc and disorder. It's like dealing with a demon!
@OfftoShambala
8 жыл бұрын
yes and by all means don't have sex w people u hardly know ... if u end up w a child w someone like this ... they will use the child to hurt you and you w b stuck dealing w them... I try to tell people to wait get to know someone and b willing to walk away once you start seeing signs...before taking the risk of having children... unfortunately it is often not until children come along that one can see that the person is more than just displaying human imperfection, but is a serious problem... usually these people are in a rush to get married or will try to have a child... both my children were conceived this way and my life has been hell... certainly not all probs w these whacked out manipulators start out that way, but its a sign to be concerned
@kalkeikuu
7 жыл бұрын
I totally agree...RUN! I'm married to a narc, for 22 years. I didn't know for years that he was a compulsive liar, and had another dark side. I met him when I was 18; now I'm 41 and I finally am beginning to see him as the person he truly is. I think the signs were there from the start, but I was so young and naive, that thought that he'd outgrow it. Over the years, he repeated the same patterns, was trying to talk to and get with women very young on Facebook and had men of these women threaten my husband. He is a manipulative, lying pig. I finally discovered his bigger lies and he exploded at me when I found out. Twenty minutes later, his personality switched to mr. Nice guy, like nothing happened, tried to kiss and make up with me to distract me from what I just found out. He's very likeable by many. I can't believe I've been married to this scary stranger all these years. So please, heed the warning signs, and RUN!
@OfftoShambala
7 жыл бұрын
NaturalHI Yep... I have experienced that jekyl and hyde thing too... freaky... choose joy!!!!!!!
@KarasekUS
7 жыл бұрын
+Peggy Paula _"My Narc would kill cats as a child and would get excitement out of causing havoc and disorder."_ That's not just NPD. He's actually a psycho.
@jorgepeterbarton
7 жыл бұрын
I think tactics of revenge could easily just be gaslighted back at you, they'll use the 'no you are the bad one' argument I guess so its pretty risky. RIse above it I guess.
OMG!! this was all I needed to learn at this exact point in my life. I'm ever so grateful to you Richard for your time and guidance thru this video🙏 God Bless!!
One man and his dog.🌹 So cute
just run from them.......run as fast as you can!!!!!!!!
@AnaLuizaHella
6 жыл бұрын
you didn't watch the entire video. Watch it and post a decent comment. lol
@Syphonfllter
6 жыл бұрын
RAW FOOD PHILOSOPHY They'll catch up and save your day, take advantage.. You have to literally be independent in all aspects to ''run away.''
@AnaLuizaHella
6 жыл бұрын
you're so right! But at least now with the "diagnosis" narcissist personality being given to the abusers it became easier to even talk about the abuses. Back in the seventies those who were being abused were the centre of the discussion. "S/he is depressed; schizo or whatever." so they need to be treated. Even though there were some people like R D Laing showing that families were one of the problems and the parents abused their children, too little attention was paid on the source. Dysfunctional family is too vague and all the explanations of mothers who were abusive depended on the theoretician. Maybe one day it will be possible to sue someone for "emotional abuse".
@kathleenwippel397
6 жыл бұрын
You can't. The elements of devaluing and control are beyond belief.
@carmend9321
6 жыл бұрын
Run where?Wounded and scare? .....Maybe there are other solution like self-prepare. To run away is safe and childish,but when you grow up and you wll tired to run. you will consider other alternative. Have you observe in nature,a wounded animal who run is always chase, but a wounded animal who attack have a chance to remain territorial. I give up to run,I like to stay and grow roots.
I loved everything about this! you're like a breath of fresh air in this toxic world of narcissism. You're hilarious! Keep being true to you, it's much needed, AND appreciated! ✌
This is absolutely the best advice I have heard on waking up and standing tall from Narcissist abuse. All of this is so fantastic, but it doesn't come easily for some of us out here. It takes time and work to get strong, but do the work. It is worth it to be strong and start to see things as they really are and not as you want to see them. Wow! I just really love all that you have said here and appreciate the help you are giving to others. Thank you so much for being the giving kind person that you are.
After watching hundreds of videos, this one really helped me see the light finally. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I made flash cards of their tactics based on HG Tudors work and every time they come at me I name the tactic and say nothing else. They lose all power and leave.
@TheWaxwoman
7 жыл бұрын
wow ! so powerful !
@asimplesoul5652
7 жыл бұрын
Way of the Frog Holistic Coaching where do you get the flash card idea?
@TawnyC_
6 жыл бұрын
What did you put on the flash cards?
@lauracserep1137
6 жыл бұрын
found them here www.wayofthefrogreiki.com/npdcards
I love you man. This video has brought me great comfort., I just broke off a more than 15 year friendship with a covert narcissist and I've never felt so liberated in my life. It was almost creepy how your every word perfectly described the narc in my life. Everything from the mindset to their tactics to the effects of those tactics on us--the people who really cared for them--is exactly what I endured for over 15 years. I think what stings most is discovering that after 15 years of friendship, the narc in my life finds it extremely easy to pretend they never knew me and to speak about me as you'd speak about a hardened criminal or very evil, malignant individual. After everything I did, all the compromises, sacrifices, biting of my tongue, and generally anything I did that was positive and cast a good light on me, was completely and unceremoniously forgotten. Had I been a needy person, I'd had died from sorrow. Thankfully I've always been fiercely independent and I don't need validation from others to be happy so it was easier for me to miss the warning signs. I'm just glad videos like these exist. Keep up the good work man!
@decor4fun816
8 жыл бұрын
+Rick Ramos I'm in the process of ending a 15 yr marriage, and I simply removed myself from the marital property (for now), I'm seeking a divorce. I retained an attorney (he did not). He has not responded to the divorce papers, but then why would he, because in his mind I walked away so he thinks he will get the house...he's sadly mistaken. My story is similar to yours in that he acts as if we never knew one another, because to show any type of feelings would make them him seem "weak". I, like you, have always been independent, and although it stings, I know with time I will most definitely come out on top. I agree, it is very nice to see someone who advises to challenge the narcs rather than just let them have their way like the spoiled little brats they pretend to be. I wouldn't let my own child get away with such behavior, let alone an adult (acting as if they're a child).
@rickramos1292
8 жыл бұрын
+decor4fun I'm so, so sorry that you've had to deal with one of these toxic individuals in marriage. They refuse to discuss things in a rational, mature manner because they refuse to give us the satisfaction of a response. Imagine that, being so delusional and far gone with their sense of importance and grandeur, that mere texts and voicemail are suddenly obsessive stalking. Hang in there. It is tough but just remember you are right and he is wrong and there's nothing he could do about that.
Fantastic advice. I'm out of a narcissistic relationship and have been trying to think of a way of revenge. But your comment about the best revenge is living well really hit home. I am in the process of doing that and have let go of the dreams of revenge. These people will continue their behaviour and will be found out anyway.
Ignoring is NOT always the answer! This is great to see...my therapist told me I was too passive in ignoring, I started doing this and felt empowered!
@stephanieduncan9023
4 жыл бұрын
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YEEEESSSSSSSS!!! Awesome Video!!! I learned this game when I was 6!! My malignant narc mother is a piece of work! Thank God, I had a normal Father who taught me how to analyze these types of people.. my mom would do her crap and my dad would explain to me what she was doing and how to deal with it. Basically to just mirror them or stand firm in not playing their game. Once people actually understand the game, they'll never be fooled by a narc ever again. Once they "know", they'll look at Narcs and laugh or get tickled. It IS what it IS and once a Narc is called on their shit IE: I know your game and I choose not to play, so F off"... the Narc is left sitting there with the wind out of their sails, lol You will literally feel them deflate when you tell them that their words don't hurt you anymore as you shrug your shoulders and say "now carry on" or "what were you saying"? On an ending note... the older Narcs get, the worse they get (my mom is now 72)
Best revenge is No Contact if you can help it.
Richard..I love these videos. I played the victim with my now ex narc for 8 years. Discovered last year exactly what I was dealing with...grew a pair and dumped him. It's been the most well worth journey of my life the last 12 month's. I'm a total grown up now and take much more care in whom I choose to spend time with. I live in peace ...have more money ...I set firm boundaries with everyone and don't allow others to treat me like crap. I can honestly say that all you have said totally works. People do just have to realise that it's not their fault they got abused...but it's there responsibility to walk away and learn to live a happy healthy life on their own. Thanks so much
i cant even bend my mind to their way of thinking
the best revenge is living well, don't worry be happy just don't allow the toxic people to pollute your world with their childish games.
I agree with Max😀 I am married to a man who's mother is a covert narcissist which has caused our marriage much stress over the years. My husband has FINALLY started to see his Mom's true colors as he's grown as a person and get some self esteem. As a result he is avoiding contact with his Mom which she blames me for "breaking" up her relationship with her son which she had stated that was my plan all along😕 I grew up in a horribly disfunctional family and believe my own mother was a narcissist, she passed away when I was 15 so I desperately wanted a close relationship with my mother in law but that was not to be sadly. I have accepted the reality of who and what she is and now watch in sorrow as my husband comes to terms with this reality as well. my heart hurts for our entire family and mourns the loss of the mother and grandmother we all wished and at one time desperately believed we had. With this acceptance though has come a closeness and strength to my relationship with my husband which his mother nearly destroyed. thank you that is all😉
I did end up instinctively doing as Richie is suggesting, I 'turned the table', so to speak. It worked, as Richie explains, to a point where I identified what I was dealing with and went no contact. It hurt more to learn what I was dealing with, and I felt a great sense of guilt at playing that game, but then also a strengthened awareness of the importance of fairness and humanity. Determinedly, I regained my sense of balance, working with emotional literacy and towards healing my own wounds. Thanks Richie!
Video should come with a disclaimer: “For Super Empaths Only”
Saying "I do not consent" won't work as they don't care about boundaries and will keep coming at you, and playing their game isn't great advice either. Look up "grey rock", quietly let authorities know of the toxic person and allude to your willingness to go to court on grounds of harassment so you are taken seriously. Ignore the person unless communication is unavoidable. Learn not to take the narcissists behaviour and smear campaigns personally by keeping in mind they are a completely delusional crazy person.
@lindawright6764
6 жыл бұрын
mikey777799 you set boundaries for you not them!!Took me a long time to learn this.
@michaelocallaghan1163
5 жыл бұрын
mikey777799 thanks for this. Its helpful to hear it said.
the dog is a malignant narcissist, look how he just sits there sadly when attention is not put on him
@lisarochwarg4707
6 жыл бұрын
I'm going to load up on cabbage and beans. That narc will rue the day he was born! BRUUPPP!
@cholewess4137
6 жыл бұрын
ant migzlon nooo not Max! 💜
@lendumore
6 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@christophermosley5885
6 жыл бұрын
ant migzlon lol!
@mizmizappa
6 жыл бұрын
The dog ain't a narcissist he didn't care a flying fart He just wants to give and receive lots of love and if it doesn't happen then he thinks "farts to the lot of them -narcissistic humanoids"-or is it haemorrhoids oh well hey ho fart fart fart.,....,....,',💩
After thirty four years, I finally healed my own traumas with a fabulous therapist and EMDR, and today I am packing boxes and looking forward to a life of my own unquestioned, undisputed authenticity for the first time ever. Thank you for your straight forward, humorous, grown up clarification of what is going on and who we need to focus on ultimately; Ourselves, and the people who genuinely love and appreciate us.
This video is a bit older now and it’s potent relevancy for those suffering, has all but waned.. I feel like you are a brother from another mother and I really appreciate the collective of your work, in case you read this.. This is one the best videos for a narcissistically abused person and a gem, within your growing legacy of helping others.. Thank You🙏🏻
as I listen to this I just want to break down and cry. I went through every one of those example and I was too naive to realize what I was allowing to take place. So many times he made me feel like I was crazy and I was the issue and even when I caught him acting without moral concequenses he managed to spin it around and making me consider that maybe I was over reacting. I came here to see a way to get revenge. I'm still hurt. However, I now realize that my revenge will be moving on with my life, work on my career, and heal emotionally.
I don't know. ... Narcissists don't care enough about human life for a personal revenge quest to really do much to them. The energy you put into "getting revenge" against them will not be worth what ultimately happens to the narcissist in the end. To narcissists people are just rolls of toilet tissue, and while you're getting "revenge" they're just looking to grab another fresh roll, and that's all they care about. If want to take revenge on the vampire that is the narcissist just cut them off of your blood supply completely. In other words completely abandon them. Mentally, and physically. It will KILL them to not have your blood supply. They'll have no choice, but to find another blood supply if they can, but the fact that they let a good supply source get away will INFURIATE them for the rest of the miserable lives.
@DaminalTheAminal
8 жыл бұрын
ILLAngel101 Watch the ENTIRE video!!! And you will find not only does Richard (SpartanLifeCoach) agree with you... he shows a better way to cut off their supply.
@marshamoore7
8 жыл бұрын
ILLAngel101 I have to agree with you. Why waste any more of your precious time on these people. By entertaining them by plotting "revenge", still shows that they have control over you. It's like a child mentality, some attention is better than no attention at all, good or bad. They feed off the attention. Don't give them the satisfaction.
@Ardepark
8 жыл бұрын
ILLAngel101 But the insight you are sharing here is hard won usually by being able to put yourself in their shoes and trying a few moves of your own on them. So it's not you just getting wailed on all the time, it's you being able to fight back and let them know they should fuck off if they try that again. I think Richard is not talking to people like you who already understand the childishness and weakness of the narcissist. That understanding means you are already stronger than them. Rather he's talking to the weak ones who are still wrapped up in the narcissist's game. They have to mature into a mindset like yours by toughening up and deflecting a few punches and throwing a few of their own. That's the "revenge" part. After that, if one is not a narcissist oneself, there will be no desire for vengeance anyway, you'll just walk away happy. And hence the real revenge.
@brazenturtle
8 жыл бұрын
Ardepark ah, but if they were to hack your computer or something, they'd know you watch videos like these and post comments and give your inner attention so they'd know you CARE... and... you'll say they dont KNOW it, but what if they FEEL it?
@Ardepark
8 жыл бұрын
Brazen Turtle Not sure what you're getting at.
Love it around 27-29 minutes in! 😍 Personal empowerment includes realizing your own role but also realistic justice.
This is ONE OF THE BEST videos I have ever learned from....Thank You!!!!
The only way to deal with a Narc is exit and cut off, entering into any game or revenge is dangerous IMO.
Pranks you can play on a narcissist: 1- Call them by every permutation of their name but the right one. If their name is Al, call them Earl, then Dale, Then Fred... 2- Never look right at their eyes and talk to an imaginary person named Keenu standing just over their shoulder. 3- Ignore them as if they are a ghost you cannot see. 4- Act as if their voice is in your head and beg the voices to stop. 5- Mail letters to their address with every kind of name but their own. Then start the letter with an entirely different name. Put their own address on the return address with their real name.
@flubby18
8 жыл бұрын
+Nicolay Bidder So I'm guessing you're a narcissist?
@flubby18
8 жыл бұрын
+Nicolay Bidder Then you already know you need to seek professional help before you screw up royally.
@zhibyful
7 жыл бұрын
I died laughing at #1 because indeed, they often pull exactly that stunt (not remembering your name, eye colour, etc), but WHOA do they get irked if you mispronounce or completely forget their name.
@abara5678
7 жыл бұрын
Easy, just ridicule him infront of other persons, new people work the best, make a little joke etc about something they are concious of and watch them IMPLODE :D
@lilsunshine7265
6 жыл бұрын
When contact is unavoidable, I spell his name in all lowercase.
I've been watching your videos for the last two days and have purchased The Discipline today. It has been the first time since i escaped my ex that i havent been raging or crying, but laughing and healing. Thank you so much.
I’ve unfortunately been with 2 narcs...I’m learning since about 4 years ago. Never realized until then about the personality disorder. I’m finally healing...with all the learning thru wonderful utuber teachers such as you. Thanks for all you do.
The best way is to ignore them and say something negative about everything the do. Treat them like their the dumbest most ugliest guy or girl in the school.
I completely understand that. After 20+ years of marriage with a narc I learned how to crack his shell open and I used that knowledge during divorce to show the judge who my husband really was. That is exactly what Richard said: I am no longer the victim.
@abusedwife5656
6 жыл бұрын
How did you do that. I was married to one for 32 years, I left him and he hired a crooked lawyer and screwed me out of everything
@abusedwife5656
6 жыл бұрын
He even turned my family against me.
Good teacher, thank you. I do these studies cause it reminds me of where I have been and where I don't want to be.
You explain it all in such an easily comprehensible and witty way. Thanks a lot for your videos. I recently found them here. I have been several times in relationships or friendships with narcissists, but was lucky enough to get out before more damage was done to me (though I suffered of course). Somehow I managed to remain faithful to myself and I left the abusing, ruthless person. They can be quite glamourous, but in the course of time I looked behind the fassad when I was deceived in one case and when empty promises were made to me. Then I knew that the respective character was not what it seemed to be in the beginning. I have to admit that I used to be quite a people pleaser because I love peace and harmony. But I have learned to set boundaries, which will keep the narcissistic rat pack away. All the best for you! I will continue to listen to your videos.
we've been conditioned to feel powerless, just exercise a little bit of resistance and see what happens.
@hafu1403
8 жыл бұрын
+david kyle they reject you
@David-eu1ms
8 жыл бұрын
+hafu that's a good thing
@aldocostantini5248
8 жыл бұрын
+david kyle they destroy you....or make a good attempt at it. and they get away with it... if the victim is not aware and educated about narcissism...
@liatka9661
8 жыл бұрын
+Aldo Costantini That's a very good point. Most (not all) of the people that end up on channels or websites like these is because of an aftermath, trying to make sense of what just happened to them (or someone they care about). The damage was already done.
@Kirky94
6 жыл бұрын
david kyle I know what happens you will argue with them and then be punished for standing up for yourself.
Revenge? I personally knew when I had completely healed from the Narcissistic abuse that I had suffered........I NO LONGER hated him. I am NOT excusing his cruelty or his horrible manipulation of me and all the other victims he had preyed upon (mostly gullible females like me)......BUT........I can truly say that I have forgiven him. That's how I know that I have healed.
@fx4147
4 жыл бұрын
karma will take care of them
@phoenixrisin2269
4 жыл бұрын
You can’t hate someone that isn’t human!
@whatarefriends4
4 жыл бұрын
Yes I have no desire for the chaos to continue. I love this person and feel pity for her. I would fix it if I had the power
@gmatinky3965
4 жыл бұрын
🙏🙌🌈
This earlier offering from Grannon is really one of the best ones I have seen. It's highly concentrated and condenses a lot of related subjects but then unpacks them in such a lucid way. As you view it all it seems that it is spontaneous and a kind of ad lib, but then you realize that it is all very structured and connected. The delivery is so casual which is why this breezes along like reading a good book.
Oh, wow! This is just the third? video of yours that I’ve watched? I feel like packing up my kids and belongings and moving to where you are, and to join you in your crusade of awareness and boosting self confidence. It is SO refreshing for me to hear someone speak it as it is, instead of being worried about what others might think! I remember my twins once commenting “Mami, I wish Daddy were more like him” when they had been in the company of a decent, healthy family father, who was spending time with his family, children, and mine. You, Richard, are the second person that I feel deserves such a compliment as that. More power to you, and to all of us, as we walk through our stages of healing after being emotionally manipulated for so long. Awesome, and thanks again for your videos. (Our 13 year old chocolate Labrador died just a few months ago, so I know what a great partner your Retriever must be for you, too. I am so glad to see that you also have such a furry sweetheart, who without a doubt gives you all of the unconditional love you could probably ever need. You guys take care of one another).
@stephanieduncan9023
4 жыл бұрын
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The best revenge is to live the shit out of your life. This time 10 years ago I was in relationship with an overt narcissist, which (I think fortunately for me) overlapped with the death of my covert narcissist mother. He frequently denied me the opportunity to properly deal with her death by refusing me the space I needed and expected me to be over-it. After 6 months his mental abuse lead to me having severe anxiety attacks and an eventual nervous breakdown. I spent the next 4 months trying to get out of the relationship. Yet, he wouldn't let me break up with him, I had to let him discard me. Looking back I actually laugh at the lengths he went to trying to control his reputation by infiltrating my social circle after we broke up. Continuing to disrespect my boundaries by covertly stalking me for 4 years, sending 'my friends' to plead with me to not ignore him (withhold my supply) by attempting a smear campaign against me. I was so angry with myself for having survived life with my mother to end up with someone like him. However, despite the hurt, abuse and pain he caused me, I learn't important lessons in setting boundaries, demanding respect and taking responsibility for my happiness. 5 years ago, I actually got the opportunity in front of 'my friends' to tell him I forgave him, because I knew he had NPD, that he was sick and needed to seek professional help. I'd never witnessed the implosion of an ego before, he literally deflated in front of my eyes, he looked so small and withered. His actual response to me was that I was sick and needed to seek professional help. He was broken, he knew I could see trough his mask and wasn't going to feed his ego. I'll admit it was very satisfying to see that. I've never seen him again. 3 weeks after that incident I met the man I'm now engaged to, I've relocated to another country and couldn't be happier. My life is now is something I'm so grateful for. These narcissistic people exist to teach us lessons about the limits of abuse we are prepared to tolerate in our lives and challenge us to find the strength to stand up for ourselves and to overcome it. We have more than a right but an obligation to be happy.
@HollyMurphy3
6 жыл бұрын
Angela Tannor you're awesome! 🤗
@tarawalton6778
6 жыл бұрын
I don't usually post.....but WOW! Your story gives me TRUE encouragement. I'm beginning to see the 'light' at the end of the tunnel. Peace & Blessings
@whotelakecity2001
5 жыл бұрын
So why are you still watching these videos?
@ARedMagicMarker
5 жыл бұрын
With narcs, you always gotta keep on your toes. Always.
@missdesireindependance5194
5 жыл бұрын
Great post!!
People who are narcissistic can actually sometimes learn IF you actually do what you are saying here. It's amazing just how much they get through life without anyone just turning it around on them and forcing them to experience that same suffering. I did this where I just began to mimic their behavior and also specifically get them where they hurt (and this person was reasonable enough that I could say "See how that feels when someone does that to you?") and it was a complete turn around for that person, who I cannot eliminate from my life reasonably. They became more empathetic because I taught them that hard lesson. The person kicked and screamed and called me mean but eventually they actually began to grow up as well. There might be people who are unteachable but at least when you do this you show them they cannot make you the victim. I was pleasantly surprised that this was the advice you gave because this was the thing that worked for my situation. I feel very validated.
@CK-831
8 жыл бұрын
+EK Okada EXACTLY. i'm not a victim here, i've played along, learning along the way. standing up for ones' self REALLY pisses them off but you know what? i've learned to do it ANYWAY. not reacting to the childishness helps, GREATLY.
@ambershaffer4896
8 жыл бұрын
They absolutely don't like it when you stand up for yourself and take the power/control out of there hands, and show them or as they refer to as a "GAME" how it feels or dish back how they treated you. Never got played, but I played along until I was forced to play the "GAME" not only did I play but was better than what they thought, so shocking them came from left field. They don't like it if you one-up them either.
Richard Grannon, i have found listening to you very liberating. After years of torture that i have faced and discovering only recently what i was dealing with through one of the you tube videos, bumping now into stuff awarded by you is not just indepth and profound, it is supremely strengthening. Moreover your talent at not just being a speaker but a performer in your capacity, makes it not just a huge listening experience, but a viewing duet along. Your content is phenomenal and your presentation awesome!! Thanks so much.
I just discovered u 3 videos ago and I fucking love you. Ty for making me laugh in the most confusing time of my life.
@neilmeddaugh8688
4 жыл бұрын
Jessica Sapphire I was just ghosted OUT OF NOWHERE by my narcissistic girlfriend, and instantly had someone else(whom she OBVIOUSLY had for some time, unbeknownst to me), so I understand the confusion. I feel horrible, but I know it’s her and that she is going to sabotage any relationship she ever enters. I just wish I had some of this Insight prior to her abandoning me.
Interestingly enough, causing the narcissist to have a melt-down worked in my case. I recently started a new job, and the person I answer to is a narcissist of the worse kind. He almost succeeded in sabotaging my position and reputation in my job with the owner. Over the last couple of months, it hit me that I had nothing to lose so I started using the same tactics on him as he was using on me. A couple of weeks ago he had a major melt-down in front of everyone including the owner. This past Thursday the owner removed him as my direct report... I'm sure he'll continue to try and get back at me, but at least he's lost most of his control over me...
I totally agree with the morality part. This days a lot of cruelty and evilness is justified by simply being from "other culture"....
@jd-hx2zx
6 жыл бұрын
Katerina Polak A lot of cruelty and evil is justified by pointing the finger at "other cultures" and ignoring what we're doing to these same people as well.
You are so very real ! I do hope you understand how refreshing your posts are!! So many many , jeez , all my life , I’ve tried to get someone to get me.
This video was so helpful! Thank you, I just recently ended my relationship with a narcissist, a covert one, and have been binge watching youtube-videos about narcissists since(the breakup was just two days ago), they have all been really good for me to watch and understand, and realize that i'll get over this eventually, anyway this one just really reasoned with me. As "my ex narcissist" and I were having our last argument I was screaming at her "I'm NOT screaming, I'm NOT mad, I'm NOT whatever.." and all the things that I obviously was, but I wanted her to understand how she had been to me, and it feels as a kind of relief to know what to look for, and a better way of understanding how not to be tricked again. So thank you!