Thanks for this talk....I did 21 years and 4x combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I was Infantry, Ranger qualified, and a Battalion Commander. I retired last year and left the service. I feel like a nobody out here in the civilian world. I use to like people. I now hate most civilians. It is not their fault. I just feel alone.

@NellyBlueee

3 жыл бұрын

thank you for your service you’ll get through it man i promise just keep going.

@marvinperez5014

3 жыл бұрын

head up remember all the bonds you had learn from that if you had good bonds in the military you can do it as a civilian life just know the good you have done for the country.

@cadee1976

3 жыл бұрын

I just finished my contract. Did a tour in Afghanistan and Ranger qualified as well. Always thought I could do anything, funny how transitioning into the civilian world is harder than Ranger school and deployment ever was for me.

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

Americans need your presence and leadership. They don’t know it, but they do.

@InfiniteMeerkat71

Жыл бұрын

You’re not alone sir. I’ve only done 5 out of my 6 years and just thinking about it I feel alone.

20 months left in the Marine Corps! Can't wait to transition back to the civilian world. I know it wont be the same and I will forever be grateful for the Marine Corps, but I have decided it is my time to leave and move on to something new.

@menumlor9432

2 жыл бұрын

I made the same decision. It was time for me to hand over the mantle to the next generation.

@youngsosa3110

2 жыл бұрын

I have 9 months left

@tonyr2880

2 жыл бұрын

Congratulations on making that decision! Hope you enjoy the last remaining months before your ETS date. There’s a lot of services that will help with the transition to the civilian world again at your nearest VA. I wish you nothing but the best. Take care.

@menumlor9432

2 жыл бұрын

@@tonyr2880 thanks. I'll enjoy it.

@dionnaanderson3266

2 жыл бұрын

girl I have 48 months left and i’m ready to go back everyday.

The non camaraderie in most civilian jobs is really disappointing after being in the military.

@menumlor9432

2 жыл бұрын

Truth.

@Northfacebloke

2 жыл бұрын

Very true words.

@TruckingWithMike

2 жыл бұрын

Going thru this right now. They try to call me weird, but I’m like “damn y’all weird” 😭.

@ryanlord24

Жыл бұрын

@@TruckingWithMike at least I’m not the only one that feels this way

1 year left until 20. So glad that I've worked two separate businesses so I could remain as normal as possible. The military definitely can make you lose yourself

Four years as a Grunt Marine, M60 Machinegunner in the early 1980s, and I had no problem transitioning back into the civilian world. Graduated university in three years, became a Federal Agent. After retiring in 2007, started my own Private Investigation Agency, and sold it ten years later to become a social worker on an Apache Reservation in Arizona for four years, now happily retired in Mexico. Not all veterans go through this transition. It’s more about attitude looking forward, than grief looking back.

I am leaving the Nigerian Army next year. I am going to make it.

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

I would say come to America but it’s getting pretty pathetic here for a place that’s got it soooo good. Good luck

I thank all service members, for their service cuz it’s amazing.

I dealt exactly with what he said. Five years ago I got out and to this day I never fit in and I felt as if no one understand and I wouldn’t give anyone a chance because they would never get it. Spot on with this speech.

Powerful, funny, and actionable talk all veterans and friends and family of veterans must see! Everyone benefits from Creating a new identity, sense of purpose and belonging. Brian lives these values. Thank you for speaking up for those who serve our country!

Thank you Brian

3 months left in the service myself getting ready to head out. Great Video ✊️

GodBless you Matt. I understand I hope you found peace my brother I really do.

Great talk Brian thank you!

Omfg, this video hit me so hard.... i really needed, i am getting out soon and this whole process is so overwhelming. Thanks for the video :)

Brian, that was a powerful, inspirational talk. Really fantastic. Thank you for sharing that. Keep up the amazing work!

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

Ken Pascal you’re right! It’s definitely an idea worth sharing :)

Coming up on my ETS, been a long 4 years, I hope I can have a successful transition

Brian! Powerful message with many take aways! As a brain injury survivor I deeply relate to the “loss of identity”…it’s been a tough walk and at the same time a deeply rewarding journey. I did my first TEDx in the spring, Brain Injury to Brain Upgrade that talks about the loss of self and the power of compassion and grace in the healing journey. As a TBI survivor my heart now beats a little harder for veterans who experience TBI and PTSD...and a loss of identity. I can’t imagine the sense of loss felt with all the layers of service and deep sense of belonging lost. Thank you for sharing your voice and being a voice for veterans and inviting humanity to deepen into our purpose, identify and creating a culture of belonging. Great action steps!

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

NatalieTV thank you for seeing the connection and how powerful it is! So proud of you, too, seeing how you grew from that seed of an idea in my course to a TEDx talk! Way to go, Natalie! And thank you for sharing!

Considering I don't have a sense of purpose, meaning. or belonging in the military I guess I got nothing to lose by leaving. In Brian's defense, the Marines are a completely different experience than the branch I'm in. The biggest thing I learned from the military was satisfaction and belonging should never be attached to a career that keeps going like you were never there as soon as you leave.

@ethereal1257

2 жыл бұрын

Don't believe that lie. God created you and has given you a purpose. Get closer to Him in prayer and reading His word to find out what He has in store for you. He can give you a family and your purpsose came with your birth. You were chosen by Him to be here at this time in the world the same way that people in history were chosen to live when they lived. Don't squander your natural purpose just becauss your job is changing. Jesus loves you more than you have ever experienced love in your whole life. He died for you. He paid your sin debt in order to give you everlasting life. He wants you to live and though I don't know you so do I.

@styleinhawaii

Жыл бұрын

Oooof that last part was powerful. I call it manipulation lol. The military will make you think you're included but at the end of the day we're all a number.

@bigd9260

9 ай бұрын

Dont forget who your real family is. The ones that where with you the first 18 years of your life. Just because you train with someone for 4 months does not make them family even though that's the brain washing the Marines wants you to believe. Thoes that use the Marines as a stepping stone, remember there real family and friends, have a support system when they get out and do fine. Those who get brain washed into believing the Marines are there family...... well.... they will always define there lives by a short 4 years in there 70 year life span and forever be miserable.

This is even true for those not even deployed yet. Got back home fro AIT and I feel this heavy

I can’t wait to get out! And I like the points you’ve made. I hope I do well in the civilian life.

@jordans1917

3 жыл бұрын

You’ll be fine brother, don’t let NCOs bring you down

Great TED talk! I specially like the self awareness points: am I where I wanna be? If not, why and what can I do. Very useful for other topics like education, work and creativity.

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

Helle Kikerpuu yes, it is powerful and practical!

Fantastic talk. I transitioned out of active duty (Marines) because I was losing myself. I’m grateful but I wasn’t made for the 20 years… I believe the reserves in the best of both worlds. You’re able to be a civilian again while being in the military part time. It’s important for those who get out to not lose their drive. Go travel, start a routine, hobbies, etc. Find yourself again.

@bigd9260

9 ай бұрын

Those who let the Marines define who they are get lost. Thoese who use the Marines as a stepping stone survive. Dont ever forget 4 years is a blip in the average human lifespan. You will spend most of your life as a civilian.

@Psych_777

9 ай бұрын

@@bigd9260 That's pretty bad advice. Some do 4 and some do 30 years. Everyone's experience is different but it's always a substantial part of one's life. All I said is that the active duty 24/7 lifestyle was not for me, so I switched to reserves. You're on another tangent which is irrelevant here.

@SinlowMusic

9 ай бұрын

​@@bigd9260 What are you even talking about? Some of the best guys I know are careerists. It's a job like anything else.

@Euro316

9 ай бұрын

​@@bigd9260 There are plenty of unsuccessful civilians who get out and don't do much with their lives when they get out more often than not. His message was to know yourself.

@Whodat-te6pn

9 ай бұрын

@@bigd9260 If you need to get out of the military to be successful, you are the lost one. Successful people thrive wherever they decide to plant themselves. The grass isn't greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it dude.

I loved what I did for 50 yrs. - building vintage British bikes - easy, I will always love what I did.

And to think that only 3-4 years ago, Brian was timid about public speaking. Look at him now! Shows you just how much being a member of Toastmasters International can grow you as a public speaker and leader. As a fellow Air Force retired veteran I am extremely proud of Brian's service and continued professionalism. His comments and facts about "transitioning out" are powerful. Too often we tend to "put our toy soldiers away" when we are done playing with them. Brian shows us just how valuable their experience and dedication to service both in and out of the military are. Wake up, corporate America! Kudos Brian, on a job well done!

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, it’s been a blessing working with Brian intensively as his coach and thank you for acknowledging his conviction and growth. He’s worked his heart out these past 6 months. Please share this talk with your communities if it resonates with you.

I work in the film industry and know several veterans who have entered the industry as a military advisor for film and television. They train actors and extras to appear like real soldiers or similar units, teach them the do's and don't's including the handling of weapons and firearms, and advise the creative team behind the scenes how to realistically portray the things they want to portray on screen. The film industry per se is somewhat structured like the military. I have always enjoyed working with the veterans learning all these details.

Such a great talk that made me reflect on fitting in, even if I have no connection at all with military life!

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

Aysha van de Paer absolutely! Feeling like you belong is so important

@1289derrick

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

Good luck Veterans!

I’ve lost more Marines from suicide than any other way

@MaynardFreek

3 жыл бұрын

Yeup. Also the marines often loose the ability to function without someone to stand over them constantly

@KiLLED5639

3 жыл бұрын

@@MaynardFreek what does that mean?

@sparklejan3

2 жыл бұрын

@@MaynardFreek I know what you mean!

amen brother, amen

Going from "Corpsman Kenward" to "David" in what seemed like mere moments after discharge was a huge shock (who is this guy "David"). Transitioning is difficult, and Brian lays out a good plan with practical steps to make it easier.

@eugenebach5421

3 жыл бұрын

Hey, ex combat medic here too. I loved my job but civilian transition right out as 68w is just so lacking. What are you doing these days?

@thementalcoach

3 жыл бұрын

​@@eugenebach5421 It's tough when your skills and experience are top-shelf, but the civilian world can't understand (and can typecast you with your military specialty). I read a self-assessment workbook, long ago, called "how to find a job with skills you already have." It helped my perspective to focus on solutions I can offer, and I used those skills in a variety of non-medical arenas (although I missed the medical stuff). Now I do something more in line with what the Navy Hospital Corps pounded into me, go to my profile to learn more, and let me know if you have any questions. BTW I do carry a pretty comprehensive medic bag in my SUV. :)

I’m about to get out in a week after almost 8 years of active service in the marines. I’m excited but also super nervous. I always knew it’s not gonna be the same anymore, but it also doesn’t help that I went through major depression while serving. It’s starting to hit me.

@1denisflores

Жыл бұрын

My plan was the first casualty in this battle of transition. Things dont turn out the way one imagined it. Still in the process.

This guys speech was great. He talks about dealing with civilian life but Im curious how military personnel deal with communicating with family during deployment. How often and what ways are they allowed to contact family back at home during deployment?

It’s hard enough to find our own identities, but as a veteran I struggled for about a year with finding my purpose and my re finding my identity. I’m in a good place now but it was the hardest mental battle I have ever had with myself.

@salvadorayala3860

Жыл бұрын

I’m dealing with this right now. It’s difficult

At 20 years now and I’m already nervous about separating so much so Im pushing it out another year

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

I got out after 10 and tell my buddies to just do 25 years. Its boring unless you really have something driving you

I decided to Discharge as of right after 14 weeks basic training in the British Army because I don't feel ready for the army. I literally learned everything. Just had to be tested on it all. I already feel alone and isolated. Worrying about what to do next, but I don't want to re enlist yet as I'm not ready.

I'm about to welcome a solider currently on deployment into my life. I'm her civi guy who is being her partner. 4 more days until I meet GI Jane. I'm taking her on a camping trip to many national parks. We have never met face to face. This will be different for sure!

I have 23 years of service, I am tired and I want to be done. I am scared to leave now, to the detriment of my family.

@1289derrick

3 жыл бұрын

You are fine sude

I'm about to go on a last tour overseas with the army, and then I'm getting out, I'm a little afraid ill become addicted to deploying because there's a lot of things I wanted to try in the civilian world.

got it. I am Where ive been, where im at, where i am going my daily objective is to fulfill my mission statement.

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

john zamer :)

@SonessStevens

4 жыл бұрын

john zamer is actionable!

5 years of active service is the same as 21 years in the corporate world? That’s crazy numbers.

This is difficult. I feel pain in my heart and alone. I just want to go back.

I just want to sleep more than 90 minutes without waking up soaked in sweat from nightmares

@coffferr

2 жыл бұрын

have you sought therapy? i know it’s rough but you won’t be weak for going and you aren’t alone

@Thatswildchief

2 жыл бұрын

Same

i took a risk and relocated but i feel lost and no sense of belonging

I find this topic very interesting, because I'm Singaporean and served 2 years of conscription, and transitioning from military to civilian life doesn't seem to be a big issue for most everyone. I guess it's because of the following reasons: 1. Since every male has to serve at 18, the whole society does it, and also because our fathers did it too so everyone has a common shared experience. 2. Singapore is small so we book out from camp and go home every weekend. 3. The most important reason in my opinion: We're not regulars, so we don't make the military part of our core identity. Everybody wants to just "Serve and F**k Off". So few people experience a sense of loss of identity and purpose when the 2 years are over. However, with that being said, from what I've heard the regulars who quit do experience some issues with transitioning, chiefly being the difficulty in compatibility in skills with the private workforce, given military experience is not as highly regarded here, so a lot end up becoming contractors for the ministry of defence or end up in roles like discipline masters in schools 😆.

Call your friends

I've always known I was built for the military lifestyle. But the only thing that stopped me from going was there was no guarantee that I wouldn't have to kill anyone. I grew up very religious and I understand that killing is a thing of war. I gave myself a long hard look in the mirror knowing I could do it but I also know I wouldn't be myself anymore after that and I know I wouldn't be able to handle that on my conscience.

I got out of active duty early 2019. I’m still struggling.

@godsway8501

3 жыл бұрын

Damn dude I’m praying that you find that light again that happiness of enjoying life I’m currently in the process of going to the marines and thinking about doing infantry but good look Very thankful for your service 💯🙏🏾❤️

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

@@godsway8501 don’t do infantry. Do something legit like lynguist, firefighting, or Special Agent. If you don’t like that then you can go special operations. Trust me

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

Me too Walter. February of 2019. I want to go back but I know it’s not the right decision

@godsway8501

2 жыл бұрын

@@chief5981 I really want to be become a marine But I feel like all the mos’s Is combat oriented so I thinking about about going to the army and doing electrical or combat medic and then becoming a navy seal in the future but in all I just wanna do 10-15 years of service any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

@chief5981

2 жыл бұрын

@@godsway8501 how old are you and do you have any college?

How exactly do you find your identity? going on 8 years in the corps right out of high school, the corps is all im use to

@ethereal1257

2 жыл бұрын

God has created us and given us all we need in life to fulfill the purpose He created us for. You were given a gift something you are good at doing and enjoy doing. Start with your creator and you will get back in touch with your natural identity. The one given to you by whatever group you decided to join isnt your natural identity it was issued to you as a job. The job ends not you.

@Max-bg1ln

2 жыл бұрын

@@ethereal1257 i appreciate it the advice thank you.

@bdlbug6

2 жыл бұрын

Get uncomfortable. Try different things out, until you discover what works best for you, what makes you feel happy and fulfilled.

@boomwizardyt7228

6 ай бұрын

try some new hobbies man, combat sports has a lot of comradery

I got out the AF right before the pandemic hit and I gotta tell ya, its been tough to understand what is happening. I don't wanna complain but man, this so called pandemic made everything more harder that it already is. I feel like I'm the only who thinks like this, but I gotta keep going

@garrettmesser7584

2 жыл бұрын

I’m right there with you man, got out in February and now I’m just struggling

@jemellrodgers8209

2 жыл бұрын

@@garrettmesser7584 can’t find jobs? What’s hard?

Well if they were allowed to have identity a sense of purpose and belonging they wouldn’t feel empty the military doesn’t help them with this

@MaynardFreek

3 жыл бұрын

I find it crazy that the idea of constantly being tore down will somehow make you a better killer. More often when you do hit the battlefield you are not really motivated and confused because every decision you have made so far has been wrong even when it was undeniably right

😂”BRIAN. BRIAN. BRIAN.” 😂

@phililpb

3 жыл бұрын

I'm Brian and so is my wife

We got kicked out of Oakland Army Terminal at 2 am. Thanks you for your service. Now get out. I had Vietnamese dirt under my fingernails when I got back to California.

What are your strengths? stares at blank page

Played Spades on a ship… Marine Corp Mortarman?

I got no answers from this video. All it was is “how do we do this” “how do we do that” but with no actual solutions.

It's too bad the enlisted suffer PTSD and haven't ever stepped foot on the battlefield. The battlefield becomes boot camp and beyond

@ethereal1257

2 жыл бұрын

Yes apparently so

Dom I’m telling you he’s a cop! Brian are you a cop? No no Dom I’m a civilian and a former Marine! Brian why are you here? Dom civilian transition is important I’m just talking the Ted talk…

The cluttered shell historically reign because vietnam identically fade as a useful pastry. lyrical, mushy tractor

i took a risk and relocated but i feel lost and no sense of belonging