I needed to hear this right now. I have been struggling to finish a creative project because I wanted it to be 10/10. But honestly - it is good enough. Thanks 😊

@Stotinkica

Жыл бұрын

Why do satisfy with mediocre if you can make it better? My work and all I do and all I make have to be best of the best , I strive for perfection cause that is standard that can satisfy me. In order to achieve perfection, to give my best, I have to love what I do and it has to be priority. If I'm not satisfied I'm not happy. If I like it, so will anyone else. That is what I know for sure.

@rumdo5617

Жыл бұрын

@@Stotinkica I agree - to a certain extent. But the project I have been working on has been intricate and very, very difficult. I doubt I would ever achieve 10/10 with it but a good 9/10 would please me and I doubt it’s tiny imperfections would not even be noticed by anyone else. It also means I would release it into the world, rather than holding on to it forever and ever…

@Yes_its_Liberty

Жыл бұрын

Such good insights! Very thought provoking! Makes me ponder… “if something is made by a machine I want that thing to be as perfect as it can be - as the item must provide a “function” bc it is a “thing”. It’s “VALUE” is IN it’s “FUNCTION”. But, when something is created from the heart and mind of a human being crafted with human hands it’s value is NOT IN its function. It is not simply a “thing” even though it likely serves a “function”. What we create are not “things” to be used and tossed away … what we create are the expression or outpouring of ourselves - and they are the outpouring of ourselves in this moment.. this now moment of who we are - and THAT IS PERFECT. You can’t be anywhere else or anyone else and that’s perfect. The ancient art of “golden joinery” comes to mind (I cannot recall the correct name for it atm) and all of the art that is so beautiful and valuable that is anything but perfect in terms of symmetry or use of color etc. The most beautiful places are not ones of perfection but ones that are beautiful bc of our experiences in them (whether those experiences be real or simply in our imaginations) and even our most cherished memories did not become so bc they went according to some perfect plan… usually they’re cherished bc they went haywire and that ended up being sooo perfect 😊

@rumdo5617

Жыл бұрын

@@Yes_its_Liberty Beautiful words 🤩. Thank you for their delicacy and the inspiration that bursts forth from them 💕

@DesertlizzyThe

Жыл бұрын

Thing is, I know a few perfectionists & they Do get a. lot Done! Or if too much to do, they hire people to complete their tasks & ideals 🤑. Great if you can afford that!

I love how real and authentic Richard is. it makes such a difference to hear the reality in his courses.

One of the most amazing things I saw was the Disney movie "Tangled". The one about Rapunzel. I don't even bother to watch these things, but a friend of mine contacted me and said that I definitely had to, that Mother Gothel was exactly my mom! Well, I decided to watch it and sure as shootin'. Mother Gothel was.... It has actually helped me see/ understand some of the stories I created.

There's a type of comfortable escapism in prioritizing other people's priorities over mine. I've gotten so much better about that but it's always an internal struggle to stand firm in my own time management needs, and not procrastinate those in lieu of someone else's. Do you know what I've been procrastinating lately, due to the chaos that has been a mix of my most pressing issues and other people's priorities?? Getting a good therapist. I love your's and Lisa Romano's work, obviously Ramani Durvasula, Tim Fletcher, Crappy Childhood Fairy- I could go on forever how these last couple years have been a season of deep enlightenment thanks to you all and your each unique styles of presenting. Indispensable. Here I am in one of the most unseasonable times of my life, health issues and drastic life changes pouring buckets down on me, and I can't find time to address my mental health? I've been waiting for the "perfect" time... it's some wonder I haven't already drowned. Thanks for this. It's not something I ever thought this deeply before and I can definitely see where being micromanaged at a young age (although not the formative years) has impacted me. I recently made a silly post on my facebook in light of my issue saying "I'll procrastinate if it's the last thing I do!". It really IS a problem. Thanks again. You've truly been helpful at helping me untie all these dang knots.

@barbrarosen7224

Жыл бұрын

Great post Bonita. I’m with you. 😊

@mint_soup9743

Жыл бұрын

@@barbrarosen7224 💓 thank you. And I, you! 🥰

@DesertlizzyThe

Жыл бұрын

Theres another Speaker on KZread who talks about procrastination... Don't blame yourself. I think its a matter of getting organized. Her 1st name is MEL.

@KadyPowellAEROPOLEONEKD

Жыл бұрын

YES to All of this ! One of the biggest pinnacles of healing for me was discovering this about myself

@victoriasofitel

Жыл бұрын

Hi! I was using YT in place of a Therapist and watching ALL the same characters as you (I would add Patrick Teahan to list) and also experiencing a never ending hard season. I FINALLY started therapy 3mos ago because I realized while the videos were enlightening I wasn't integrating what I was learning. THEN there was the dread of finding the "PERFECT" therapist 😜 because the last two really were terrible. AND, I don't want to get all invested in someone only to discover they have terrible boundaries and use our time to talk about their life😳 I KNEW I wanted someone who was trauma informed and I felt that EMDR would be an effective treatment tool. AND, I asked God to lead me to the right person to help me once and for all, so I may live to the fullness I was designed for. While I am no where close to the end of the journey, I did take the daunting first step and called EVERYONE that took my insurance, I live in a small town. Go to the PsychologyToday website and enter your zip code and it will give you a comprehensive list of providers! One lady answered my call and said she was booked, IF a spot opened she would call me. ONLY ONE therapist called back. She trained with the woman who invented EMDR! She's been in that chair as long as I have been alive. And, her ONLY opening is during the time my child is at school. 🙌🏽 HALLELUJAH 🙌🏽 was I led the right one! We meet weekly, but have only done two sessions with EMDR. It IS intense and touted as the most effective treatment for releasing trauma. Holy moly is it effective work. I STILL have a long road ahead of me. BUT, every week we are chipping away at it. And with only those two sessions I can see a HUGE shift in how regulated I am staying. Even my 8y/o is complimenting how calm Mommy is, which is both terrible and wonderful. Abuse is a cycle and we have to DO the work to break the cycle. It does NOT have to be perfect. And even if we feel overwhelmed doing the internet search to find the therapist, do it! Even if you seem to freeze dialing their number...dial the number anyway. Like an exercise class feel the burn and push through anyway! You CAN do it! VICTORY can be yours! AND, I will happily cheer anyone on who needs the encouragement!

The best boss I ever had used to say the grade D is for Done 😂. He just wanted us to get on with the work because the work would improve over time regardless of the grade we got for our professional accreditation.

I watched this now worried what on earth have i done to my child while she was growing up! I feel horrible trying to get her to create perfectionism only because of the way my parents keep putting me down telling me I was dumb. So I never wanted her to be dumb. Life is fucked up!

@barbrarosen7224

Жыл бұрын

Parenting guilt is huge! Now I’m onto grand parenting guilt!

Sometimes procrastination is a sign that you are trying to pursue something that you're not suppose to be pursuing.

Frater Xavier, in one of his "mystery school" lessons on his YT channel "mindandmagick", suggested that people should treat thoughts as a proposition which they can choose to either accept or reject. He recommended that when negative, self-denegrating thoughts happen you should consciously say (either in your head or out loud) "I reject that thought".

0:23 The work is acceptable not when we find it perfect but rather when we think that "others/people in our head" won't be able to find anything to critic us about the work. In the childhood we were shamed, toxic parents always found some imperfection, which let them call us total failure etc. 5:34 The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.

1 way 2 overcome the non-supportive voice in your head is 2 simply say the exact opposite of what u r saying! 1st, that will make you laugh, + that is good, + u don't have to believe it! Just keep doing it!

There is a technique that I find helpful when I remember to use it, and that is to get the Inner Critic onside. By accepting it is actually trying to be helpful (and it often is) you ask it to help instead of scold, to come up with ideas that will help you achieve whatever the goal might be. Using this technique you can say, yes I know I need to do x but I'm busy now with y so please remind me in an hour/ tomorrow/ at x am or pm, whatever if realistically the best time. You can also say yes I know I need to do x it's big so I will only be able to do a part of it each day/week / whatever the time scale is. As long as you stick to the deal the Inner Critic does become supportive. Sadly consistency isn't one of my strong points, for a few reasons, but when I try this method it does make a big difference

@simplysavvy0113

Жыл бұрын

I love this idea! Rather than associating my inner critic with my never satisfied mother, I could see it as just a problem solver on steroids, looking for ways to improve something , bc that's really my intention. Improvement in whatever I'm criticizing.. for the benefit of anyone or anything..I can see myself making friends/partners with it a lot easier than just trying to silence it or turn it into something it's not .

@MarkPierro

Жыл бұрын

Sort of “thanks for your input inner critic but today I’m doing it my way.”

WoW.... Another video that just straight up hits home. My brothers and I were ALL told no at anything we ever did growing up. There was more of.... The parents, hovering and or watching everything we ever did. In addition, I noticed that we weren't properly trained to do things we were asked to do. Trim trees, clean the chicken house, mow the lawn etc. Then if we did it incorrectly or even just not the way my parents would have done it, then we got in trouble. Fast forward to today, I generally don't do anything having to do with a project unless everything is set up perfectly and I can get everything done at the same time. Yes I try to do everything I do with perfection. If I mess up even the slightest bit, I am extremely hard on myself. I actually get pissed off at myself for not executing whatever it is perfectly.

@ngeee10

Жыл бұрын

Wow same thing happened to me growing up my anxiety gets really bad to the point of throwing up when I try something new.

I remember the day that I decided that I was going to get over my shyness and lack of self esteem with women and the body image issues I had in my 20s which meant that women rarely showed me any interest. And I can remember the conflict viscerally in my body and emotions when I went up to talk to women who I was attracted to who I felt would be repulsed by me as the imposter I felt I was for daring to go outside what I thought was the social matrix to speak to a woman who represented somebody who would never approach myself and invite me into her world, especially if I felt her social class to be higher than mine as well as her attractiveness level. I wasnt even a bad looking guy either, at that time of my life I did feel like an ugly piece of dirt that didnt deserve any connection, love, intimacy or affection from women and I think that was massively down to the superego injunction and imposter sydrome I felt deep in my core when challenging beliefs thst no longer served me.

I am in line with your teaching, Richard. I recently heard someone speak about personality and our internal distortions in a different light, that has opened up my understanding. I think it is in line with Freud saying that we revert back to a stressful time in our stages of development, and he said, I believe, that we go to the stage BEFORE that stressful time. It was bliss for a bit before we fell from grace (so to speak). The speaker said that his struggle with perfectionism was analyzed like this: When he was about 3 or 4, he had the most glowing magical experience of looking at the Christmas tree and the enchanted, starry, glistening ,snowy night, and from that moment wanted the world to be always like this. That was his fixation. He has since tried to recapture that wondrous feeling. But things are never perfect enough. He became a critical perfectionist. I realize that this is different in terms of this discussion, but I have looked back to my childhood and I established some very highly charged pivotal moments, where the highest bliss disappeared and I fell from grace. That moment clouded my whole life going forward. Just thought that I would share this.

@angiekitson-harris4257

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this, sounds just like what I've done all my life. xxx

I realized a few years ago that, even with things that I enjoy doing (like reading), I always feel an initial push-back when I want to do any of them. Makes more sense now.

You're a good man Richard.

I rewatched and I have to say, I could never get angry at my inner critic now. Your interpretation of that anger was too hilarious. I'd end up laughing my inner critic into submission if I tried😂. Thank you for making this easy for me🙏❤

Been following your work for years, Ritchie mate, you're only getting better and better. That seminar(?) with The Vaknin recently was just fantastic. Much appreciated fella

This was a very interesting watch. I can't afford therapy right now, platforms like this are so necessary 🥺❤️

That "Hello, and welcome" did something funny to me 🙃😆 now time to stop procrastinating...

Thank you, Richard. perfect timing for me. again. Rewiring the lie with truth. Rule #1, forgive yourself. It's ok to mess up. Funny how I don't care when someone else messes up, but I get pissed when I do.

The phrase “Done is better than perfect,” has been with me for years now. It’s a phrase I remind myself of semi-regularly. Thanks for the video! Stellar as always.😃

I'm an aspiring goodenufist. 🧐

I was told by a teacher once, “perfection is a limitation”. I accepted this notion but too young to comprehend, this talk has brought more meaning to his statement. Thank you. ❤️🇨🇦

I am experiencing perfection and procrastination dynamic and can see how they fit together....The need to be perfect generates the fear of being imperfect so we freeze because when we are imperfect bad things happen........We procrastinate in response to this fear as a survival mechanism.....We stop before we try to avoid the pain of failing.....Failing will be the end result of trying...Trying and failing when the stakes are high....Protecting mother and siblings ....You've been made responsible for their well being while your abuser traumatizes everyone and blames it on you...There are no wins in these experiences.......You try and fail before you ever start....Repeat....You try and fail before you start...Repeat...It is a trap...Perfection is the only answer and that is impossible...The relationship between the super ego and self is another story...I am still not clear on this yet....I understand more than I did but don't see it clearly.......A physical object demonstration of how the pieces of this super ego/trauma/ id relationship actually respond to each other might be more helpful....When I do this physical object demo I use spice jars as they are compact and nearly everyone has them in their home....I give each one a name that describes a component piece of the larger concept/dynamic I am trying to understand....I then demonstrate how those pieces interact with each other within the concept I am trying to clarify and it seems to help....I have found that giving esoteric concepts a physical value makes them real in a way that words don't.....I may try this at home tonight but question whether I understand enough of what is going on here to clearly understand it...The work is ongoing...and so it goes.

Fabulous illustration! I call myself a recovering perfectionist 😅

Difficult but worth it❤Nothing worth it comes easy❤ something to be proud of❤ Thanks for that ❤❤❤

Few minutes into this I'm already learning things about Freud that weren't taught in my psychology A Level despite spending months on the guy. As always, love the content and how you make the complex simple and fascinating.

The first two seconds of this video are pure perfectionism, "Hello... and welcome..."

Weee..!😆😅🤣 I can see in his Eyes , Theres another TWIST!

I suffer from procrastination but only because of things I DON'T want to do. Although this can be useful because sometimes the thing I didn't want to do mysteriously disappears.

Always in for a treat when you get that whiteboard out Rich 🙌

7:12 🤣🤣🤣👍😂😂 This video is excellent 👌, information really resonates with me. "Need to be perfect not good enough..." etc. etc. The light heartedness and comedy help people continue watching/understanding because it's enjoyable. Great stuff, thanks.

Smeagol!

Your humour absolutely cracks me up 😂… in a Liverpool accent “They do though don’t they though “ ☺️

Useful?! This was golden. I’m attempting to tame my inner voice. Having a tough time structuring a consistent plan of action. Richard, you save me on my difficult days. ♥️

17:45 Really loving the shorter clips of late. Clear and concise to absorb before my attention wanders... this particular one gave me clarity on something that's been at the back of my mind for a while now. As always, thank you for all the time you devote to KZread 💚🙏

@oanaalexia

Жыл бұрын

check his Insta too.

don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. i tried to be perfect in everything. now i have this motto and i am much happier. 😁

Many of us don't think of or describe ourselves as perfectionists, but this definitely describes the wall I've hit since my hyper-critical upbringing was followed by numerous traumas all topped off with one particularly big one.. Ive never struggled so much to get myself to do things, it's also very somatic, I feel sick and lazy but I know I'm not- however there's been a major barrier to productivity since the last big trauma and I can't figure out what's wrong with me... Why is it so hard to just.... Do this or that. Certain things cause more freeze than others. Im finally old and confident enough to enjoy making decisions and taking initiatives knowing more what I want to do with my life, and there's so much I want to do but I seem more handicapped and stuck than ever by this dynamic..

@christinamccarte9369

Жыл бұрын

I'm exactly in the place you are

"Don't act" that's exactly it, i have felt guilty about my procrastination forever, thank you

Thank you so much for the nice, clear and straightforward way you explains these things. It makes a lot of sense. I have struggled with procastination for decades. This will help🙂

The uncomfortable irony of saving this to Watch Later... 😬

Getting angry at the inner voice is absolutely spot on. I have discovered it myself some time ago and couldn’t believe how well it worked. I’m really happy to hear it here from you. It takes away any guilt or doubts I had. Not I know for sure that anger is good if channeled right. Thank you so much for that ❤

All in all - Compelling and comedic, thank you very much for making me laugh through the dark...I'm clearly a late starter for joining the Grannon train but better late than never; within the context of what I have already I've sought out by myself, since I was 18, receiving your ideas now means you make it easy to process and take action! THANK YOU

My inner voice doesn’t curse me, it curses the matrix just as it curses the narcissist.

"Perfection is nonsense"🎯👌🏾👏🏾 ...gonna make this my new motto 💪🏾😇

Thank you for this ❤️

Oh my gosh, I was raised with a family motto of “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.” I always loved that we put heart into what we did and didn’t phone it in… but I also now see that it has developed into making sure it is this ambiguous “right” before I feel like I can do anything. This leaves me stuck and procrastinating unless I feel I have the perfect end plan in place. I actually felt a physical reaction when you stated “good enough is good enough!” I will find a therapist to unpack this some more, thank you.

Thank you so much Richard!! Great teaching as always! ❤

Thanks for clarifying. Please keep it coming.

A good thing for artists to learn. The Sauron comparison is vivid and useful.

Bravo Richard, another great vid.

A very good lesson(8/10) on shaping the inner voice or throwing out the useless, negative ideas. I think you are really pushing us to leave behind the mourning and victimhood. It is fun to think that throwing ourself into something you suck at has such value. Thank you!

This makes so much sense thank you Richie!

Loving this format and really appreciate the humor bits, thank you Richard!

Yes! I need to hear this. Right on ⏰

Thank you for all your videos , you helped me a lot and I m so grateful for all narc videos. I m free again happier and trying to start again from scratch but with big hopes and better health. Thank you 🙏

Looking forward to this, as the timing is synchronistic!

Excellent video. Thank you

Richard lad, you’re a bloody gem 👍

Wow, this was an excellent presentation. This was perfectly explained spiritual concept of over soul. Thank you ♥️

This was a good one. Excellent timing as I need to start working on a new endeavor.

This video is awesome, thank you Richard!

Compelling and fascinating. Brilliantly explained xxx

"Everything takes work" , very good!

Thank you. This was exactly what I needed to hear! You’re absolutely amazing and I appreciate you taking the time to make these informative videos.

Grannon you're a star

Thanks alot again Bro! healing for life. You inspire me alot ! Keep that energy moving man :) !!! Peace !

Thanks for your time

Good Morning! Thank you for this reminder😊

“The Mommy Otter” 😁 Thank you so much for all of this!!! A superb breakdown describing a key component causing an arrested emotional development. It’s very difficult to find a skilled therapist who is well versed in these concepts, who also has the ability to communicate it effectively & tactfully to their clients. Thank you again for sharing this information with all of us, it’s very validating & perception changing. I hope it helps many people get unstuck in their lives. Shut up stupid inner voice!!!!! 🙂🙏💜

So wise, the best video I watch for a long time! Muchas Gracias

Great video! Very understandable ❤thank you!

Nice! I watched the whole thing!!! Usually never finish videos.. get disrupted/distracted…) Thx dude! Love you!!!

I love the close up introduction. 😊

Ahhha moment! Richard Brilliantly explaining such a important matter, thank you!!!

That’s a caring down to Earth gentleman - his appearance and genes could have made him a self absorbed Alpha male without empathy . I’m thinking his deep study and understanding of the human condition has intervened and molded Richard Grannon into an amazing teacher who can also be simply seen as an ordinary and likable block.

Thank you for explaining introjects and it’s relation to perfectionism and procrastination.

Thank you! Marvelous.

Just Amazing Richard! :)

Thank you so much for your good explainations Mr. Grannon. I have a lot to learn 🌹

I needed to hear this so much! I have been struggling to paint and draw again. Trauma has had such an affect on my creative process and yes I am seeing a professional about it. This topic is such a huge part of it. Thank you

Thank you, needed this.

wow that was a solid 10 out of 10. Thanks for the inspiring and healing content Richard

Very Helpful. Thank you!

Brilliant. Understood all of it. I am greatful. Life changing. Thank you❤ looking forward to the next class!

Amazing! THANK YOU!

ReAlly like 👍 thiS Video! 😮The way you presented it is Awesome. The idea about having someone read it back to you. Wow. People do that when playing a musical instrument..Thank you 😎

i going to have a good look at this later. when i can take it all in properly😁😁

Thanks Richie❤️🙏🕊️

I can do hard things, with practice I can do them better every time I try!

My inner critic demands I be perfect socially. This requires a safe social group so I can make mistakes without losing relationships. Thankfully, recovery groups help with this. Thank you Richard for the clear teaching and diagrams.

This really was compelling, fascinating & amusing. Loved it 9/10

Beautiful presentation Richard. You make complex ideas simple. Thank you. 🙏

Love the plant!

Thank you first day alone again and oh how good it feels

A solid 10 out of 10 Richard!

Thank you for this moment of relax and enjoy of your efforts to explain to me what all about. You are a real example that efort of learning public speaking have very good results .

I wish you much success in your personal journey and in your career. Much appreciated gratitude to you ❤️❤️❤️!!!

Thank you Richard