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@stormdancer0

11 ай бұрын

I am a Certified Peer Support Specialist. I help people with mental illness, developmental disabilities, and/or Substance Use Disorder by teaching them coping skills and logical ways to deal with emotion, such as anger, sadness, and hysterics. I wanted you to know that I'm teaching your skills to even my most developmentally disabled students - who usually are able to pick up at least some of the skills without an issue. These adults generally only react, rather than respond. Some have IQs that put them on a 6-12 year old level of reasoning. They are ALL (so far) able to comprehend some of it, and several who were known to have "explosive" (or hysterical) tempers are beginning to use your methods to figure out what someone is saying, rather than react to what they THINK the other person is saying. Thank you so much for all your help, though I know this is not the normal crowd during your teachings. This would be a good thing to teach kids in middle and high school. Maybe we'd have an entire generation who stopped to think before they reacted to a perceived slight. I am passing your videos along to others in my field, and hope that they will be able to use the skills with their clients as well.

People insult you because they want you to react. Don't give them that. They're unhappy people.

This is so powerful. I really need to stop reacting to nasty people. Everytime I do, I just end up with their energy. Thank you🙏

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Their negative energy, which reduces our positive energy00

@nothingworksworks3511

11 ай бұрын

I personally just walk off the job entirely, adding to an extensive collection of name tags

"Respond, don't react" 💯

@chinkyfist6655

3 жыл бұрын

Lol I do both, respond and react. 😆

"its about them" is the truest statement

@ronansweeney9694

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks

I was able to use the vampire slaying techniques at Walmart. Usually, when someone in public is rude I would say something rude back. I was rewarding their bad behavior. Yesterday when 3 people were blocking the Walmart aisle I said excuse me. The man moved but said lazy a** couldn't walk around. My emotional side wanted to say I can't walk around if you block the whole aisle or something nasty. Instead, I said "thank you" with a smile and kept walking. My self talk was it's about me, it's about me, it's about how I react.

@Amazing_Mom0_0

5 жыл бұрын

This happened to me very often. A boy in my building always blocks the gate or doorway and asks me to walk around!

@terricaldwell4275

5 жыл бұрын

"Lazy a$$ has to block the aisle"..... is my first thought! Sometimes I walk around them because like "trash" I don't want to be anywhere near them!

@tittleazwa6065

4 жыл бұрын

h

@onlyallegra

3 жыл бұрын

Walmart customers are a different breed of people who are mostly entitled and don't give a care about anyone else. They know they can say or do whatever they want without a serious consequence. God bless you. I could never work there. Some people are so toxic all you can do is protect yourself and focus on your response. They will never change and will get more toxic if people try to adjust the behavior.

@No_Show94

2 жыл бұрын

@@onlyallegra 💯

As a social worker with people with traumatic brain injuries; I can support your training and principles that guide people through life experience!

@Man-go-Everywhere

4 жыл бұрын

Alice Jump you have your work cut out here in Scotland. A large percentage of Scotland’s grey males have issues.

Jealous coworker is conniving. Trying to turn others against me. Tired of it and confronted it. Spiteful

@m.d.63

5 жыл бұрын

Going through the same thing at a roofing company. I go there to work and I found out from my boy that some other guy at the job [that I was cool with for years] sees me as a threat and got the foreman to not want me at the job sites. The owner hired me and is on bed rest, because he had open heart surgery and they’re disrespecting him and his decision to hire me, because it’s like they fired me [but they don’t own the business]. I would’ve knocked them both out back in the days, but now I just hustle and do roof work on my own until the owner comes back from bed rest. I don’t even want to waste my words on them because of them being insecure about their work. That’s cool, because I’ll be back and they’ll see what’s up when I return.

@oldmanhendo7183

2 жыл бұрын

@@m.d.63 yea knocking them out isn’t a good idea lol. May feel good in the moment but you’ll regret it later when you lose your job and potentially get hit with a lawsuit. I know the feeling of having people turn others against you though. It sucks and it’s hard to deal with because unfortunately there’s not much you can do but continue doing your thing and not care what others think. If you don’t mind me asking, how did they get people to not want you at the job site? I had a similar situation and I don’t understand how people can successfully turn others against us by spreading bullshit

I watch this video often because I find its wisdom something I would like to incorporate into my subconscious. Every time I react (badly) to a provocation, I find myself ashamed of myself. If I can talk myself into the knowledge that what the negative/rude/dysfunctional/unhealthy person did or said is "not about" me, I feel that I will be a healthier and happier person able to be a positive role model for my own children.

@ExtraordinaryLiving

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying/writing this ... it's a good reminder! :)

@69LOLIN

6 жыл бұрын

Susie Zien ... nice post Susie!👍

@hermanhelmich

4 жыл бұрын

Amen to that🙏🏻

This has helped me tremendously I never wanna give someone else control over my feelings and my emotions ,thank you very very much! The biggest thing that helps me is remember who I am to stay on the logic left side of the brain ,and stay away from the right side which is emotional. I am loving kind and empathetic and sympathetic that’s my baseline

Really sage advice...I've also been following the idea captured in a book called 'What others think of me is none of my business'

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with the idea that what others think of me is none of my business; this one thought, if people held it, would relieve them of SO MUCH STRESS.

@nathaliem9597

6 жыл бұрын

Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor Really appreciative of your work and just discovered you. If I aim to be aligned with my inner being then I am free of the shackles of stressing over the response of others. Will use your techniques tonight as I manage volunteer committees in my job as a Relationship Manager. It's like herding cats at times!

Isn't it fun that SELFISH people often accuse anyone who doesn't follow their agenda of being SELFISH?

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Interesting-- isn't it?

@suecollins3246

5 жыл бұрын

Gemma, they project all the things they don't like about THEMSELVES onto OTHER people.

@SR77736

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I had a toxic frienemy call me selfish bc I said no to doing a favor for Her. She expected it for free. Uh no. The girl rarely calls only when it suits her and barely helps me. And I'M the selfish one? Oh please. 🙄😒 some.people

@videorate3526

4 жыл бұрын

You're referring to govt people, boss and cops

@sduncanfoto

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Don't you think? HA.

So this means when the Boss is shouting at me and humiliating me in front of my colleagues, its really about him. I never break when he does it, I remain calm and watch him freaking out, no wonder he doesn't like me lol not. It just makes me lose more and more respect for him each time he does it. It's pathetic and worse still he shouts at me for other people's mistakes.

@TASconfidential

4 жыл бұрын

You need to record his tantrums, and start preparing a hostile work environment lawsuit.

@oldmanhendo7183

2 жыл бұрын

Also when you stay calm and collected your employees also respect you more. They see your confidence and your bosses insecurities. Only downside is that a lot of people will still side with the boss because he’s the hand that feeds then

i'm so glad a channel like this exists

@renatajakielaszek

6 жыл бұрын

Me too 😊

I'll allow my coworkers rude snippy behavior go the first couple of times but after that, I will put them in "CHECK" real quick! Be careful what you tolerate . You are teaching people how to treat you...just say'n

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I agree--you have to train people how to treat you, especially if they are mistreating you. You knew I'd agree with that, did you not???

@apppretty4391

Ай бұрын

He has videos on what you could say to shut those types down without losing your composer.

Does anyone else grin ear to ear when they hear the opening theme for these videos? :)

@97lumberjack

7 жыл бұрын

Rachel Belnap ...and sing along! :-D

My buggest take away is that these rude people are unknowingly trying to help me, and teach me a lesson, they are really there for my benefit. I will really "try" to remember this when i can. But i am not perfect and may tell them off.

Delaying my response helps. Get centered first.

@Actias1974

3 ай бұрын

I’m not 100% successful but I use this tactic too. I find it connected to the respond don’t react mindset.

This is so empowering! Thank you. When people are mean or treat me wrongly it is about them & they are a Master Teacher sent to remind me to rise! Thank you Dan! 💖✨🤗🦋

@nothingworksworks3511

11 ай бұрын

I wouldn't say they are "master teachers", rather the good & knowledgable ppl give me strength to weed these toxins out of my life---AND keep my job/peace etc

Thank you very much. I am going through some difficult situation at work with a person I share an office with and have to work together.. Talking behind my back. I have strongly sense the change in conversation with one casual worker as soon as they see me. Belittling and undermining my work.

This makes me think of driving a car. When you're driving a car, you are responsible for yourself only, and not other people. Therefore, someone might do something dumb, like making a fast turn in front of you. However, the point is to not let that get through to you. You're responsible for keeping yourself safe, and you are not responsible for what other people do. I think in a similar way, this video shows that. If someone says something rude to you, it's about how you respond to it. You are not always responsible for the rude thing that person said to you, but you are responsible for how you respond.

@TheWizardOfWords

5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely right on Clara. Dan

I needed this! I could definitely grow in this area.

love watching your training videos, they are so useful not only at work but at home! thanks!

Thank you Dan! The book is a movie now and I can listen to it while working. Thank you again!

My mother must have sensed me watching this video (on headphones), because she certainly managed to get my attention off the video with a subject that ended up not being worth pursuing. I can't believe i reacted. I need this channel.

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

hahahaha, mothers can do that, can't they? Please stay tuned because there is much more to come! Dan

Dan, your the man! Come straight from one of your vids to this. Really looking forward to this series!

SHALOM to you and all of us! Being kind is seen as weakness. I see it being incredibly strong... sigh... 🙏🙏🙏🙏😣🤷🙌💃

`I love the way that you described exactly what I experience and have tried to convey to others - namely that my left brain de-activates and I fumble and stumble for words, then go into a downward spiral, become emotionally ungrounded by listening to my own bad rap, and beating mysaelf up. And yes, I realize it is all about me, and this is the cause of my existential angst - not knowing or having the strategy or the words to use.

Thank you Dan ! i really appreciate the free videos. Your book is on my order list!!

You are so kind!❤I stayed at home with kids for a very long time and now I returned to work, and there are 3 people including my boss that command and scream at me and the worst is that they told every one that its me. Now I ignore them and reply just with one phrase or two. It seems to work but it makes them even more pissed off as I kept them at a distance and do my job as i think i should.

@patriotgirl4865

Жыл бұрын

How sad for you. I had an office turn on me once. Talk about uncomfortable. It was all because the business was moving out of state and they needed a sounding board. I quit.

@Trudysaccount

5 күн бұрын

I had that at my previous job as well. Give it time. You keep up the healthy boundaries. I experienced several of the bullies moved on once they couldn’t control the whole office. Godspeed! 🤗

Great tips, wish I've found this channel earlier. I have zero tolerance to mean girls bit*#y attitude and there have been times where I reacted/snapped

@kamea4023

5 жыл бұрын

Oriolez the backstabber bitches assholes should all go to hell

@goodmorningsundaymorning4533

2 жыл бұрын

@@kamea4023 they will. Hell will be filled with them.

I have just happened across your work Dan and it is excellent. Keep it up. Your effort is truly welcome.

Thank you Can. You are a Blessing.

PREACH IT PASTOR DAN!!!! YOU SAID THAT!!!! Halleluuu!!!!

I learned lately that in communication in difficult situation really important is to keep contact with our self, with our thinking and feelings, but also with the situation. It sounds normal, but when the situation "attack" us we are suprised and maybe we want to hide this, cause it seems to be weakness. And as it's difficult( impossible?) to hide one feeling and be in contact with other feelings we start to speak based one feelings of other person. That's my theory:)

This was really good information. You communicated it effectively and I 'got it'. Thank you for helping me see this hard truth. I look forward to this series.

Thanks so much for your encouragement, wisdom and kind words. I have come home crying from work for a couple of weeks because my boss is so unkind. I will use this weekend to study and be better equipped to deal with then on monday

You said our ego "which is always going to do the wrong thing"... I don't agree with this. It's a bit dangerous to think because, while I totally agree that the things that make us fume/angry, are often not about the other person but about us... that doesn't mean we can't be angry. It's a human emotion and I'd be incredibly wary of anyone who "never" gets mad in such situations and handles everything in the best possible way. I can get mad and at the same time KNOW that what they said is not *really* about me. Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can both respond AND react (one after another, depending on how far you're pushed, if you don't just choose to walk away of course). And on that note, no one's an island. Words are powerful and as much as it'd be awesome to be all 'zen' about things, we don't all have to be buddhists monks walking around in our serenity all the time (which is ironic, as they tend to stay away from the "logic" and "language" that's emphasized here). Bad days happen, slip ups happen, people can push us TOO far, boundaries are broken, we feel good and bad, we are imperfect. As long as we feel good the majority of the time, then it's okay. You make a good point about us mastering who we are though... it definitely comes down to that. Those who don't know usually have shaky boundaries let alone poor communication skills (which I believe is the outermost layer of who we are, while boundaries are a level below).

@TheWizardOfWords

7 жыл бұрын

Good points--yes you can be angry (a feeling)-- and sometimes anger is good and appropriate and there is nothing wrong with that or any other "feeling." I try to emphasize words and actions in my lessons, rather than feelings--since the first two are decisions over which we have almost complete control. However, if I am not clear about that, it's on me, of course. Additionally, it is part of the human experience that we don't always behave or speak "perfectly," and we don't always "feel" good. We educate ourselves from many sources and we try. We spend a life-time (hopefully) trying to make ourselves and our world better. Thanks for your points and counter-points. They are equally appreciated, Lady Galaxy.

@ShadowsMasquerade

7 жыл бұрын

It's true, we have a lot of control over our words and actions. I wanted to emphasize the importance of feelings because they are our guide -- I cannot tell you how many times I've had people come to me for advice on a certain situation or person and what to do about it as a means of putting up or dealing with it in some way and it's almost always a situation or person that they just shouldn't even give half a rat's ass about, let alone put energy into "handling" them! At the end of the day, life is too long to live through doing things that do not sit right with us and make us FEEL LIKE SHIT. Keyword: feel. (and quick language correction: I know things/people don't "make" us feel, so I would instead say: life is too long to live through ACCEPTING and ALLOWING ourselves to continue doing things and engaging with people we do not like, that don't help us grow, that pull us down, etc.). How we feel in a given situation or around a person is an enormous clue about what we should or shouldn't do. There is a huge difference, and I mean HUGE, between learning to respond to assholes on occasion, because let's face it... we will run into them at one point or another, and forcing yourself to be alert all the time by being around them so much (in this case, why aren't you running yet? why are you trying to bandaid a bullet wound?). Lots of people cannot tell one from the other. Although I suppose your advice is geared towards the people who might have to deal with one or two of these kinds of difficult personalities in a place they otherwise really enjoy. At least I hope it is. And to expand on your "language is important" premise, which I totally agree with, that should be extended to absolute statements as well... it's important to NOT make absolute statements like "the ego is *always* going to do the wrong thing" because it's simply untrue.

Hi Dan I just stumbled upon your channel and i just want to say your content is amazing, love what you are teaching and luuuuv your energy! I wish I knew about you back then when I started working, but the lessons are still so relevant now. Never perfect, always learning.

Great info! Helpful. Thank you.

You are so right!!!! Going through something right now with a neighbor and figuring out how to address it and stay true to myself.

This video is not only a gift it also puts many things regarding empowering yourself into perspective. I am happy to share this valuable information with friends. Thank you so much for this series. Your expertise and humor is much appreciated.

As an aspie. This is gold. I always feel like i need to do something when people are complaining. Today i learned that i dont actually care at all, and me pretending to care is my problem.

The absolute best one yet!!

I can't believe how common this is and people want to get offended that I believe most people are not good smh

Thx for helping me to deal with all the toxic ppl in my life. Sometimes I lose it and it wrecks my day.

Thanks so much. Your info is so useful.

Thank you thank you thank you, I love you!!! God bless you. It feels like u recorded this video just for me, so I can hear it right this moment, your message makes sense to me so much, I’m gone buy ur book tomorrow, thank you Sir!

Dan, your advice is really helpful. I appreciate and benefit from your videos. Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for continuing to let me know what you think as you watch my videos, Donna. And if you ever have a different perspective or disagree, I hope you'll tell me that too. Dan

Outstanding advice........ Thank you Dan

I had a tough situation last week with a boss who was an ash*** I decided not to do anything or say anything, 3 days later it got much worse, she thinks I'm going to work on Monday but on Sunday I absolutely positively will leave her the shortest of messages that I get straight to the point and let her know that she screwed up it's going to be with the greatest of pleasure that I leave her this message because it will help rescue all my friends at that workplace that are suffering because nobody speaks up to her, so I definitely will speak up to her 👍..... And of course I will never go back there. 🙏

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

August, remember to be careful what you put into writing. Make sure that your message is clear but mindful. Don't rant and rave and say things that may come back to haunt you. In fact, if you want to do it right--decide what you want to say and say it in person. :)

Thanks so much for that pointer Dan!

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome Algis, and thanks for your comment. Dan

I love the songs! And I love your book, too. Could you please make a video about how to deal with someone who kills you with kindness? They don't take no for an answer when you decline their help. They buy things for you when you would prefer to buy your own. They intrude and rush their relationship with you no matter how blunt you are in telling them to slow down. It seems the only solution is to totally crush them.Thanks for your help, Dan!

I’m glad I found this video I really needed to hear this...💯🔥🔥🔥👊🏾

Great discussion. My take is not to let other people determine who I am and what I say.

“I understand that but” works great on the wife thanks :)

Through God, you are helping me. Thank you!!

I love your insight. It's a healthy and empowering perspective. A simple yet powerful question to entertain everyday, " What kind of impact I want to have after this exchange?" Yes.begin with the end in mind. So happy I found you again. Do you collaborate with other communication professionals?

@TheWizardOfWords

7 жыл бұрын

Sure! Always! Sorry it took so long to see your question. I've fallen behind--WAY BEHIND--on answering comments. But I'm working on it!

This is such a helpful message. Thank you, Dan!

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome UTubafy. For more, check out my website a twww.danoconnortraining.com/ where you can download my Power/Danger Phrases as my gift to you for subscribing. Dan

You’re such a goof! Lol!!! I’m loving your lessons! This is awesome. I have an energy vampire in my life and unfortunately, I have to communicate with them. But thanks to you, I can respond better and feel better about myself while dealing with this monster. 😠😩😩😩🙌🏽🙏🏽

I really enjoy your videos, its been very helpful.

So creative! Love it.

Just pure gold!

Amazing tactic!

You are a true Stoic. Brava!

"Every word I speak is a testament to the person that I believe I am." Good advice. What if I'd gone out that morning deciding to have a good day, then someone comes and throws a bomb in that idea? All I could do when my coworker got mad at me in front of loads of people in a public place was disappear and go to the bathroom!

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Paula, do you know how much better that was than yelling at her, calling her names, and THEN going into the bathroom? Whereas there might have been mindful responses, (I don't know what she said), yet what you did was NOT self-demeaning and that is a good good thing. Nor did you try to demean her. What you did in not reducing yourself to her level (getting mad and presumably saying hurtful things) was a testament to the person you believe you are. And what SHE did in front of others is a testament to the person she believes she is--and from where I sit, that ain't good! Dan

great advice as always. thanks dude

@TheWizardOfWords

7 жыл бұрын

Thanks Quentyn73. Please subscribe, like, and continue to comment. That's what keeps my channel going--and free! Dan

Loved!!!!💕👏👏

Thank you very much I struggle with these people

Just ordered your book. Looking forward to this journey! Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Let me know what you think, Mechelle! Dan

@ZenWaveCinema

6 жыл бұрын

Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor Just finished chapter 3. Love. This.

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Great! Thanks for letting me know. Dan

Thank you!!

Great stuff! Thanks for the help on my journey

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you meg5122! Please continue to like (if you do like) and share as you go through my videos.

I needed this, After the supervisor calls or text me. I'm bothered for hours

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

I hope this helps because you should never have to live in fear of those calls or texts.

You. Are. Amazing!

Love your energy and wisdom. I need the skill you talk about. Great video!

@TheWizardOfWords

7 жыл бұрын

Thank you Anisia; subscribe and look for more as I post the series. Dan

@bobozitto

7 жыл бұрын

I am already reading the book. :)

I have just discovered you and I AM ALL IN!!!!!! You are my spirit animal🌺Aloha From Maui🤙

Excellent!

excellent !

GOLDEN! Hi Dan, your lessons are easily understood and they promote me to define myself with greater structure and leading confidence. 2019!

Self mastery. Yes, I need this

i am in long overdue need for this, i've been battling the ability to be able to respond to people over react - variety of situations including prior bosses then staff shortages led me down a path to incredibly toxic work environment for me... so looking forward to putting these ideas into practice

@TheWizardOfWords

Жыл бұрын

Happy to help, Kayla.

Thank you so much 🙌🏼✊🏼🙏🏼

I have a situation at my new job where it’s only me and two other coworkers, one being my boss, and they have been working together for over 5 years. The other coworker, not my boss, is twice my age and obviously intimidated by me being there so he has been doing things to try and make me look bad and the boss is eating it up but doesn’t say anything to me instead she’ll just kind of gives me a cold shoulder. I think she knows better but doesn’t want to confront her long term friend about it. I want to go into work tomorrow and say something that is respectful but gets my point across. I have a hard time speaking when I get started. My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it. But I like this lady and I know other than this she is a great boss so I’m going to try and take your advice in your videos and say something tomorrow. Here’s another curve ball though, the other coworker isn’t going to be there all next week so I hope she doesn’t think I’m just saying something cause he’s not there. It really doesn’t have anything to do with him it doesn’t bother me so much that he’s playing games what bothers me is her giving into his tactics to make me look bad. Here’s something else worth mentioning though. Tuesday I will be working with the vp of the company but I don’t know if I should say anything to him, I should give her a chance to correct things. Sorry I went on a rant but thank you for these videos they really do help and I wish I had seen them years ago

Thanx a lot Dan So helpful

I'm speechless 👏🏼

@renatajakielaszek

6 жыл бұрын

Sounds about right 👍💕

I just want to say I love your channel. I've been binge watching your videos. I want to relate to others better, have better, more mature relationships too. I will go to your website to check out the resources.

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

Good idea!

Wonderful, wonderful video!! Thank you! I look forward to watching the follow-up ones to this one. Thank you!! 🙏

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

Once again--stay tuned GG.

@JesusSaves77799

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks Dan!

Thank you ☺️

Honestly just watched because he has such a great personality

@TheWizardOfWords

5 жыл бұрын

I'll take that compliment, but I hope you took away something immediately useful to you also.

@toddlefebvre5165

5 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords yes of course :)

shared!

Thank You Dan :)

Good stuff, Dan.

@TheWizardOfWords

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for commenting

What a great video, and covering such a difficult thing. At least for me it's difficult, which brings up thoughts about a problem I still see happening, even with the good advice above. To make sure we take care of ourselves in what I consider seemingly long life what is actually short (the older you get the more that will make sense...), I worry that whenever we use those principles (making it about us or them), we might come out healthier but often that leaves the instigators not learning to leave others alone as well. Oh sure, some will learn, but you know most people like that won't, some a little bit maybe, but most won't learn enough to stop damaging so many. That's why the advice above is true, right, helpful and healthy, but I wish we had some national program to teach at school or somewhere showing many young people how they are actually the cause and not the effect. It's very noble-sounding, to focus only on how we react, but I noticed a terrible habit especially in my country of the U.S. that have become quite popular; only observing and judging how people react. Yes it's the only thing WE can control (sometimes with great difficulty-- that's why I loved this video because our instructor was so honest and empathetic)... however there has been a growing army of people out there that actually work on believing their shit doesn't stink, and yours does. After they've determined that, they are passive-aggressive, then when they've garnered there own flying monkeys to help out and cower under their new leader's meat hooks, the support and confidence helps them seem even sharper, and in ways they ARE more skilled in picking out other's flaws and keeping a ledger about it. That confidence and score card mentality makes it difficult for you to appear as the victim you are, because they have themselves and their followers convinced you are some sort of "problem". Then when you defend yourself, which you absolutely have the right to do, and it's natural because our natural history demanded it for thousands of years (whether just communication around the stone age camp fire or actual physical challenges..) for you to have dignity, respect and inclusion with the tribe. That could keep you alive, literally. So of course it's hardwired into us to not want to put up with that bullshit. So... yes it's good advice, yes it's right to work on how we react (no I don't agree it's just "ego" making us do it-- not in the sense others define ego-- it's survival instincts). But damn it I wish we could band together and stop letting life be in such a hurry, so that the aggressors continue to make themselves look like the "good guys" full of ambition and star quality. Many of them are the cause of endless trouble. They are practicing making YOU look toxic because of how you react. Your reaction is key, but they're still wrong for their behavior and brainwashing others to see you in bad light. They will continue unless somebody teaches a new direction.

@TheWizardOfWords

2 жыл бұрын

And that new direction has to be taught at a very very young age. A few schools are now teaching some version of mindful communication in the classroom. I think that would be beneficial, however the success of such a program depends, in my view, mostly on parental support. In the U.S. that support will be anything but universal. And I believe that same thing could be said of most countries--sadly.

Thank you for a clear. Straight to the point. Session .I have learnt alot .

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

Then my job here is done, and I thank you for writing, Jane.

This was a beautiful speech :)

Wow that makes so much sense 👏

Just drop that ACIM channel already! I love how you simplify new strategies. Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome misslolab1212, that's my goal--to give you straightforward, mindful strategies you can use to communicate clearly, effectively, and with confidence.

I used to work with someone who used to always say this... are you talking to me ? What? Man that was so annoying, 😅, thank God I don't work with that person anymore, 😂.

Listening ur message again😊🙏🙏🙏

I'm going to order your book! This is Gold!

@TheWizardOfWords

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you do, Nadia. You won't be disappointed.