its insane how messages come exactly when we need them. I made the decision 3 days ago to stay away from social media because I was comparing myself too much, I was there all day. Instead, I realize, I started using that time to work on been better, to try to find the good things in myself. And using my time to do good and connect in a organic way

@otismeotisme7987

2 ай бұрын

So True, I had a thing with this also now we will laugh belly laugh in the NOW, keep Glowing on your new Your of life.sending good vibes from San Jose CA

@Neige700

2 ай бұрын

Same here

@bill4632

2 ай бұрын

Best thing I did was get rid of fb a couple years ago. Waist of time.

@agymayachelonia8381

2 ай бұрын

Same!!

@deniserouthierledoux8133

2 ай бұрын

Social media is poison when it comes to anxiety/depression. It’s better to read or exercise or anything thats healthy

Another thing that comparison can do is make you feel like a nasty person. If you are constantly battling people out in your own head and tearing people down, its draining and doesn't feel right.

@phillipsantana2633

2 ай бұрын

Very true a mental exhaustion follows paired with a guilty conscience.

@awesomelegs

2 ай бұрын

I think it really depends on the situation tbh, whether it's in concern to trending topics, video games, politics, sports, and whatever else. This is where finding a personal hobby comes into play: such as singing, drawing, or maybe even a board game. Gardening and dancing are examples of popular hobbies (but not really my personal hobbies) that can provide a sense of well-being and accomplishment. They are also sentimental in building skills for careers and other forms of belonging. As dumb as it might sound, I have always found rollerskating (especially disco style) to be super fun even though my experience is limited with it.

@Madchris8828

2 ай бұрын

@@awesomelegs oh absolutely, context is key. Comparison can be healthy if let's you drive yourself in the right direction or if it's healthy comparison. My mind has a habit of not so healthy comparison. Like this person makes better money than me, is better looking etc. not really something that is good and actionable for me to fix lol.

@awesomelegs

2 ай бұрын

@@Madchris8828 💯 accurate in a lot of ways ^_^

My mom told me as a child "There is always going to be someone smarter than you, better looking, or just not like you. Get over it." BAM. Ended that rabbit hole thinking age 11. She was very loving, but direct. Helped me to survive 21 moves, and be content in a crazy medical profession for 45 years. 💖

@DivineDianne

2 ай бұрын

Great advice. You have a wonderful mom!

@ERRNCJ

2 ай бұрын

@@DivineDianne Thank you! Her and my dad rest together at Arlington National. 🇺🇸 💖

@bpospanov

2 ай бұрын

beautiful advice. I wish someone gave it to me much earlier

@priojong

22 күн бұрын

im sorry but this is horrible advice to give, whether direct or not!

@destinychild4659

22 күн бұрын

​@@priojongIt depends how you take it. No one is the best in everything. It's good if people undertand that early on. But we can be the best version of ourselves. 😊

Comparison is the thief of joy. And "Nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent. " Eleanor Roosevelt

I love how Emma pauses as she explains things. It feel more like an actual conversation woth someone who is being sincere.

@phillipsantana2633

2 ай бұрын

There are a few I tune into but Emma reaches me the most. She'll cut her eyes to one side when expressing a thought or as mentioned the pause in her sessions. She's a master of driving the point home.

I need this, i'm in my unemployed era after college, its very overwhelming seeing people have their life together, its so bad i dont even looking for a job, everytime this topic come up i feel crippled with anxiety and cant function... For this past few days, ur content has helped me a lot, thank u so much for what u do 🙏❤❤

@awesomelegs

2 ай бұрын

Keep your head up. I've been in that situation as well, and it's certainly no fun...but all anyone can do is keep trying and hope for the best.

@sapling3519

Ай бұрын

Something will come along! I recently got out of this era but being rejected time after time was insanely depressing. Watching my classmates land jobs only made it worse. Ultimately, you cannot compare their experiences to yours. I got rejected from many jobs I thought were going to be the One™️, and now im working at a dream job somewhere I never expected I could be. Believe in yourself , be patient with yourself, and if you have to work a dumb job until then so be it.

@TheBenzwanger

Ай бұрын

​@@awesomelegsmeh, most people who look like they have their life together most often do not. It's just a show they put on for the outside world.

@ChunkyWhiteMexican1

24 күн бұрын

I’ve been there since January. Felt like a failure 5 days a week and on Saturday and Sunday I was ok.

Such a simple but profound proverb: "you never know what hides behind a smile."

8:55 "Your worth is inherent. Your are always worthwhile and valuable. And the goodness of your life depends on how closely you live your values" ❤ Thank you.

" i compare my deepest reality with their outward appearances" wow..thank you

"Love is a renewable resource, the more you give the more you have "

My mom always told us be ourselve be unique be different is okay. Discovering who you are then worry about others or what others thinks.

As a clinician thank you. You compare yourself to yourself. I am a disabled psychologist. When i do self talk i refuse to give a number to my leg pain. I just say " the legs are a bit troublesome today" the brain doesn't recocognize not. Its like saying not chocaolate cake. The brain hears chocolate cake.

@Helen-jw6yb

2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for helping me to understand the NOT thing....thats a brilliant example re chocolate cake & so true. Much appreciated.

@edgreen8140

2 ай бұрын

@Helen-jw6yb thank merissa peer hypnotist

It's super difficult not to do that. I'm 35 single, median income, no car (no big need, thank mother earth) , student loan and I rent an apartment alone. Everyone around me is together, good incomes, bought a house, vacations every year, cars, you name it. Even most of my colleagues are way better of compared to me. It's not a problem that they have more, it's that I don't have much at all. I can't go on the trips I want to go. I almost never go out for dinner because I can't afford it. I often don't buy the clothes I truly like, since they are not cheap. (Not expensive, but also not cheap.) It sucks massively if you're in this position and you know that unless you meet a nice partner, you're not going to get much further financially in life and it holds you back doing many of the things you would love to do. And then the people around you they can all do these things. Depressing AF.

@kevcantona

2 ай бұрын

You're not wrong about it being super difficult. But can you honestly say that you wouldn't still compare yourself unfavourably to others if you could afford the trips and the clothes, but not, say, the car? And if you could afford the car, how long before you compare your Fiat to the other guy's Porsche? You'll always find lots of people better at something/wealthier etc. if that's what you see as important. And it'll kill your self-esteem. If you appreciate what's good/valuable about you, or good about others, in your/their own right, NOT relative to each other, then you will see yourself very differently. That's my takeaway from what Emma was saying: you compare, you compete. And you will make sure that you lose. Changing this can take time: if you've done the comparison thing for years then that's a lot of conditioning and you will do it on auto-pilot. But, it can be done!

@elisenieuwe4649

2 ай бұрын

​@tona I think the problem for me is that by not having a car it's harder to go to people and to nature. Social connection and nature are good for us and do improve quality of life. Being able to go on a vacation once every two years just to see a different place and get out of our day to day life is acually good for us. I am missing out on good quality of life stuff by not having these options. Also, now renting is okay. The problem is the future. Rent goes up and up and up. More than my salary. How do I even pay rent in the future at some point? I don't mind not owning a house right now, I worry about how I live in the future when rent and utilities keep getting so much more expensive. Which I think is a valid concern. I've had a period where I was in a relationship and we drove a car. It was a simple second hand car and I never felt I needed a better one. The same with my apartment. I think it's fine. I just worry about the increasing rent. I also don't need designer clothing, I couldn't care less about that. I just wish I wasn't buying 60% of my clothes in second hand stores, only because otherwise I wouldn't have clothing to wear to my office job, because I can't afford office attire that's new. I wish there was more concreet information about HOW TO DEAL WITH A LIFE THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT. I can know what I want, but when it's not there, then it's not there. I can go look at my values and what I want and what I care about, but the truth is that right now I don't have these things. I tried getting more of it and it constantly fails or I run against another brick wall. I tried getting more social contacts and I got nothing. (I really did my best) I tried all kinds of different hobbies and didn't like them. I tried going to nature more often, but I get stuck because I can't get to nature without a car apparently. I switched jobs twice to find something I enjoy more and I didn't find something that doesn't make me feel blegh. I am trying to be more fit/mobile so I feel better connected with my body and I injured myself pretty fast after starting and then again not long after recovery. I'm at the point that I'm super frustrated about people telling me I need to know what I want and who I want to be and go for it, when I've tried so many things these past 2 years and I didn't really get anywhere. It's like all the ideas that I've got, the investments of time, effort and me going outside of my comfort zone was all for absolutely nothing.

@luenanda4432

2 ай бұрын

@@elisenieuwe4649I’m just a 22 year old random stoner kid on the internet, so what I say may not even count, but thank you so much for sharing this!! I’ve been struggling a lot with internal and external pressures, thinking that by 23 or 25 I had to get my life together and be perfect. Seeing you share your struggles at 35 opened my eyes a bit, I thought everyone over 30 was just perfect and had their lives figured out. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well, and I don’t have the experience to say i would understand where you’re at right now, but starting to enjoy small simple things helps me out a lot. Venting and talking about it for some reason works too. I really hope life works out for you, you seem like an actual real honest human being, which is not that common. Take care:)

@c.a.parker5036

2 ай бұрын

Financial anxiety is real and difficult. Knowing your rent increases faster than your income is scary and it makes sense to me that you wish for better financial security. As far as your general dissatisfaction with your life, I have found the KZreadr struthless to be helpful. He has various videos about incremental steps toward a more meaningful life and one about what people can do who don't know what their passion is. Don't know if that will help you, but I am sending good thoughts your way.

@afrinakhanam4696

2 ай бұрын

At least you have a job. I am 37 years old, unemployed and broken.

Every once in a while I convince myself to forget what everyone else thinks of me. That's such a great feeling. Wouldn't it be great if I could always feel that way? I find it more enjoyable to be good at something, rather than trying to be better than everyone else - a game you will always lose.

You have no idea how much I NEEDED this video at this exact moment. Thank you sooooo much! 🥰

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

@ManyWeidman

Ай бұрын

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

@DavidVelasquez9

Ай бұрын

its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

@ManyWeidman

Ай бұрын

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

@DavidVelasquez9

Ай бұрын

If you look up Shelly Renee White online, you will find all the information you need. Thank you.

“Stop comparing and start connecting” love that!

This video brings me so much joy. Comparing myself to others has been a chronic problem for me, and oftentimes hard to find a way out. Glad I came across this so I can gain more insight of myself. Much gratitude to your presence and what you do!

@otismeotisme7987

2 ай бұрын

And You are full of Golden Things.

@awesomelegs

2 ай бұрын

It been very much the same way for me for many years 🤦‍♂️ but sometimes it just takes a little practice and perseverance to discover the 'real good' within yourself and to be cognizant of the constant manipulation that goes around.

As a budding coach, getting off of social media really helped my "compare & despair" issues I was having.

The part about outsourcing your identity and how that places your worth in a relative place to others - that was so insightful to me. My concept of self worth really has been impacted at time by comparing myself to others and it feels so shameful but i really appreciate you doing this video.

"We only know these cardboard cutouts of people" That's exactly why I finally deactivated my Facebook. Everybody on there only ever seem to be the "perfect" version of themselves. So much so that it got to the point of just.... Everything just felt so fake to me, being on there. Nobody feels real anymore.

I am reminded of an old saying" I pitied myself because I had no shoes; then I met the man who had no feet" There will always be people who seem to have more buy we can be grateful for what we do have! I pray daily to the Lord but i always am grateful for what i do have. Some days its hard to find bit its always there if we look. Thank you Emma for your gift of compassion and love for humanity...We all need help from each other!✝️🕊️💟

I'm in my mid 40's now and still live with my parents and feel frozen in time while I've been seeing how everyone else has changed over the years. I need to stop comparing myself to others and focus more on me and hopefully my life will turn around. Heck maybe the reason I hate my job is because I see people complain about the same company all the time on reddit. Of course it has got me worried about my physical health and financial future. The problem at work I have is there are certain people who always complain and I need to learn to ignore them and just do my stuff till time to go and not worry about it when I'm not on the clock. That has also been an issue I've had for years.

One of the best videos about this issue! Genuinely thank you

Yes this is such a problem for me! But what about the flipside when we compare ourselves presently with who we were and that distresses us? Like the age old "glory days" when you feel like you were only great once in your life.

@Daniel-ef7nk

Ай бұрын

You were always you and you will always be you, unless you think you were a different person before because you had more talent, money, beauty or whatever.

I'm using so many of your videos for my "Leadership Camp" I'm doing for my family. Your videos are one of those things of good report and praiseworthy that everyone needs to seek after.😊

This is a fantastic video on something I struggle with every single day - Thank you so much Emma!

Thank you so much for this video! 😊 I really needed this as I'm constantly struggling with comparing myself to others.

Halfway through it and I already am feeling better about myself. Thank you so much!! ❤

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. I always try 2 remember that.

Wow! This woman's way of teaching us to be level headed is off the chain.. so true. The bible actually teaches alot of these qualities, but that's a different subject. Awesome info here. 😁😁

I also needed this. Big time! Thank you so much!

Thank you for this. I have been struggling with comparative anxiety, in my work, at the gym, it’s been consuming and this has been such a breath of fresh air into my life for aiding these areas- to reflect and free myself from this prison I’ve kinda created in comparing. Thank you

You're awesome Emma. I needed this 🙌 ❤

You don’t know how meaningful it is to show support by having a keffiyeh in your filming frame.. thank you!🇵🇸🇵🇸

@ro_orr

16 күн бұрын

I didn't notice until you said it I love her even more now 🍉🍉🍉❤

Thank you so much for your advice , you always give me another perspective for considering the problem.It's difficult to focus in yourself when there are many people telling you what to do.

You are an angel 🙌 I think I've needed this my whole life. Thank you!!

As a depressed person with low confidence i just can say that you inspired me and i appreciate you for sharing this video unfortunately sometimes i confined myself in bed because of my insecurities and thats very pain ful . Thank you ❤

@galerights8983

3 күн бұрын

i hope you’re doing well

Thanks Emma!! I would love to hear you talk about 'community' and its effect on anxiety and how that positively impacts someone. Church, work, club, sports.

Thank you for posting this video. It is very much helpful, profound and informative.

the world needs more people like you, knowledgeable and compassionate. I really appreciate your videos. They've changed my life for the better.

Emma thank you so much I really needed this.

That phrases consolidates so much "the world is abundant, specially on all the things that brings us happiness"

Comparison will sadly end up putting someone down!

I realized this is a major thief of joy in my life and then this video pops up. Thank's for making it, it's one of the blessings to count today 😁✌️

Great video Emma! Thank you so much!

This was sooooo helpful for me! I realized that over the years I have developed this complex within myself that told me I was better than everyone else. I didn't even notice it, and it didn't really feel like it either. I just noticed myself spending much more time alone and then feeling disconnected from others. I realize it comes from deep insecurities about myself and who I truly am. I have a lot of shame around who I am, and that is something I am working through, but I noticed that I have been projecting that onto others. This has made it difficult and almost impossible for me to just see the human in people and love them. All I've been basing my worth on is how I dress, how skilled I am at my hobbies, and my likes and dislikes and if those are adequate. I have been comparing myself and tearing myself down while also comparing myself to others and tearing them down in my mind to make myself feel better. It is a toxic loop, and it has made me feel so much anxiety because I worry that I won't be able to connect with anyone new ever again. Luckily, I can still connect with others that I know. I just started comparing people, and I am not sure how to stop, but I know that I can by using these methods you listed. Thank you so much for this video! It is helping so many

Thanks for your hard work and Emotional Support. ❤

Couldn't have been a more perfect time for this video❤❤ thank you so much Emma🙏💓

Thank you so much! I appreciate you and the work you do! It helps me to become free to be who I really want to be and hopefully experience true connections as well! Much gentle love from way over here in Latvia!

You are so amazing!!!! I love your videos so much! I think this was the best one yet! Love to you sister, God bless!!!!

Emma, you are a blessing. Thank you

This is one of the best videos ever! Thanks so much

Thanks for amazing Topic. Keep doing good work.

Your videos are so good! 🙌🏾

I’m so grateful I found your videos, it helps me with my intrusive thoughts and negativity, I’m on the journey, and I want to thank you for these free life advice

Thank you so much! Incredibly good information. Would love to hear more on this topic

this is exactly what i needed to hear. thank you

Thank you very much for this video!❤

Wow this is so good Emma! Probably the best topic you've talked about...for me😊

Thank you, i needed this now 🙏😮‍💨

I love your videos! This helped me tremendously!!! I’m going to watch it a few more times and practice what I’ve learned ❤

this was a huge shift for me. Thank you for all the hard work. This is so wonderful. Amazing! I am so grateful to you for sharing your knowledge. Sending you lots of love.

Thank you for making this video 🙏

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR VIDEO

I've missed listening to her videos. She's amazing.

I needed to hear this today.

Omygoodness! I just love how you keep it real!

Beautifully explained - thank you! 🙏

Comparing to others drives me insane，thank you for pointing out what are healthy thoughts ❤I hope i can feel better after trying to stop comparing myself to others in a sick way

❤ so wise, humble & refreshing, Thankyou

13:57 the spell begins. I have to read loud after you. Your words are so sincere and powerful. Thank you very much!

I love this advice and the idea of focusing on values and connecting with people. So many good points!

Excellent topic, well done

Thanks, this is just what I needed 😊✨ Saved

I really love your videos. It is starting to help my thought process. ❤

Love this, thank you!!

You are wonderful, thank you very much for this content !

Thanks again, your videos help out a lot.

I really lived this video and the new perspective

Lovely message in this video. I always appreciate the summary at the end of your talks. I note them on paper and then I listen a second time. Just having written the summary points brings the teaching together as one cohesive narrative. I don’t have to look at the summary points I’ve written as I listen the second time. The action of writing brings them into clear focus. I use writing as a scaffold to support my ADHD brain.

Is there a way I could play a video non stop in my brain? I feel like I need to play this non stop in my brain. Thank you for making this. I knew comparing myself to others was an unhelpful thinking pattern but when it came to challenging these thoughts I’d come up stumped. It was so frustrating. I’m so grateful for this video and that you’ve made this info readily available. Your videos have helped me to be a better person and I think will, ultimately, make the world a better place to live in for a lot of people. ❤

thank you for making this video.

Awesome advice. Thank you!

Thank you, I finally understood why I was comparing myself to others, and knowing the root cause can elimante the comparison

You are awesome! I really like you and your topics! thanks a lot!

This is so so so right on! ❤

Great topic and advice thank you!

I thank god that I found you when I need it most

This is great and so what I need!!!!

This is what I needed to hear and most of you guys also 😄

Thanks for this video. I do this because my mother used to do this to me all the time.

Another gem of a video. It doesn't take much to be happy honestly in life.

It's been tough to break the habit of comparing myself to others, but I'm happy to find resources for self-discovery. Thanks for share.

thank you for everything that you do

13:33 The sales and marketing teams! Thank you Emma. :)

Thank you so much ❤

thank you so much , that was so helpfull

Oh my goodness did I need this!

I love your message and agree that comparison is the killer of joy. But as you are giving out your message I can’t help but think how much I really love the sweater you are wearing. Does that mean I have the attention span of a fly? Working on my focus!!