People who continue to be secretive, unrepentant, withholding information, deceitful, not willing to work the relationship with consistent action, unaccountable and lie are still cheating. Some cheaters pretend to have changed to keep their partner but only true consistent change can only be proved by long term change, action, and having empathy for the person they cheated on.

One of the most important differences in your strategy from others I've heard is complete honesty. Some counselors say you cannot ask certain questions because you will not like the answer....and I'm like what?!?!?! Yeah, let's keep more secrets, that'll help (sarcasm). If the complete truth is not disclosed the betrayed will always wind up wondering about details that were not available for discussion. That is a terrible foundation to try to rebuild. If details in discovery come out that ultimately wind up solidifying a position of divorce, then so be it. Not every relationship can be saved. But don't try to build the next one on secrets.

Once someone breaks their vows the relationship is not worth keeping !! Don’t be a sucker!! Respect yourself and find someone with values and one that respects you ! You are worth it!!

Your words are amazing. I've been married 35 years and just found out I've been cheated on for 3 years. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

You don't recover from an affair; that's why you ask God to help you move on....

@juanagutierrez8681

3 жыл бұрын

This is glorious, I've been looking for "does marriage counseling work after cheating" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my cousin got excellent success with it.

This video is awesome 👏🏾! You really break it down as far as why I'm not healed. It's been 2 years and I feel as though it was yesterday. This helps me understand me as the hurt partner, and why I'm still in pain. I'm sharing this with my husband because he needs to hear this. He just wants me to " get over it" but is not that easy.

@Laura_111

6 жыл бұрын

ARMYprinncess Exactly! I asked mine if the shoe were on the other foot, would he forgive me and he said he doesn’t know. But he expects me to move on and forgive him like nothing happened.

@milosarsic9075

6 жыл бұрын

This is just superb, I've been looking for "can i save my marriage after infidelity" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my m8 got amazing success with it.

@mdmonowar7339

6 жыл бұрын

Winner of a video, I've been looking for "relationships surviving cheating" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my cousin got cool results with it.

@HAWKSWIFEY1

6 жыл бұрын

Lauressa Ross I totally sympathize with you. I was an ARMY wife and when I was that’s when all of the drama started. When he enlisted

@Heymonda8794

6 жыл бұрын

it takes forgiveness which can be difficult

What’s funny is a lot of people say that affairs with feelings attached are worse than affairs that are “just sex”, but I have experienced the opposite. I don’t understand how someone can say “I love you” but still care so little about you and be so selfish that they go out and have “meaningless sex” with someone else. I can understand if you catch romantic or sexual feelings for someone you have a relationship with. I get that. Then we can work through it and you either choose your relationship with me or you choose your relationship with them, like a grown adult. But if the cheater is willing to throw away everything they built with me for a moment using someone else’s body for a release, I say they can keep what’s so important to them, because it’s apparently not a relationship or me.

@lynard25

4 жыл бұрын

I feel you. It's what im experiencing right now

@terriemurphy423

3 жыл бұрын

Does anyone have anymore web-sites that they found helpful. I want to know details and he says he don’t remember that his his favorite answer to everything. Married 35 years with him having a 20 month affair.

@maryt7959

3 жыл бұрын

The secret is : they DON”T CARE about the way YOU FEEL!!!! It’s all about THEM. And they want to keep you just because they need you to wash, cook ... chores in general . They don’t really LOVE YOU !!!

@latishaantoine9394

2 жыл бұрын

That's how I feel

How can we forgive, when we can't forget???

Don’t listen to this guy! If you get cheated on do not put up with being disrespected!!! You know you can never ever again trust them again!!! Have the courage to leave!! Why should you have to worry every time they go out that door you’re going to wonder if they will cheat again!!

I wish my husband and I could go to you for counseling. You are SO good with your words and logic!

@hasanipettiford

4 жыл бұрын

Reach out to us. Www.couplesacademy.org

@torumacto8704

3 жыл бұрын

Is there healing for both of us? We both cheated over a decade ago and for one of us the forgiving part is not an option

you are extremely amazing. I definitely relate to this video 3 years later.

Thank you so much for your clarity, it's heart warming and freeing.

everyone has been affected by cheating .

Thank you for sharing!!!!

God has really endowed you with alot of information and experience to help couples! God Bless you! ❤

The best thing to do is .... run , run , run ....

I have kept everything in life at 100%. School work and games are all done at my highest possible level. I am very scared of being cheated on because I feel like I could not handle it.

this is the best advice i see, in all videos i watch thanks bro,

More grace more grace more grace upon you sir!

Abuse the abuser for the rest of their miserable lives is one way 😆

Thank you

This blessed me!

What do you do to cope with a spouse who had an emotional affair with a coworker ? To feel at ease when the spouse says its over but you have doubts .

@ermaabrazado5145

3 жыл бұрын

I’m going through this one right now.

@Pearls94

2 жыл бұрын

I’m going through this as well 2…

@user-wq9dj7if6f

Жыл бұрын

Going through this now

@queenoftrucking

7 ай бұрын

Going thru this now he says and my pastor supports him and said if I bring it up I haven’t forgiven him and we need to divorce. So I try not to bring it up but I keep thinking about our marriage was over married 21 yrs this month affair over 10 yrs he apologized 2 times sincerely but no details at all and I keep having triggers WE NEED HELP!! Can you and your wife help us?

Love your channel I really need your help too

Thank you so much

Great very Helpful

Going thru this now he says and my pastor supports him and said if I bring it up I haven’t forgiven him and we need to divorce. So I try not to bring it up but I keep thinking about our marriage was over married 21 yrs this month affair over 10 yrs he apologized 2 times sincerely but no details at all and I keep having triggers WE NEED HELP!! Can you and your wife help us?

What if your partner states he doesn’t remember his infidelities and that he thought his actions were separate from our relationship, so in turn didn’t think how they would hurt me? I had a list of questions, but I feel that he didn’t truly answer the actual questions, but avoided them and made excuses.

you so true

How do I find the rite councilor I dont wana loose my marriage

Are there any conference coming up?

Thank you Mr. Hasni I'm going through a divorce I've gone through my counseling it's been a year I also went to school to be a Chaplian so my question is what should I do about my husband girlfriend who despises me and is dangerous to me??

@dr5161

4 жыл бұрын

Robyn Abadie we decided to stay together. She’s upset that he stayed with me. She’s acting like a stalker. She’s scratched our car. It’s been 8 months. Then she said that she’s pregnant.

I need help how can I reach out to you

It's like my husband always have an affair like every two years. It have really became a pattern like and bad behavior. I really love him I really hope that we haven't out grown each other.

@karlaitsalllove6997

6 жыл бұрын

tsexywynn Sis I commend you. I was cheated on before marriage thought it was a phase once he ask me to marry I was sure he was over it but nope. He needs to seek help my forgiveness is only a step but what about me.

@karensaviano5722

3 жыл бұрын

Time to go my friend. You are so much better than what is going on.

How do you recover if they keep having affairs with other people?..you dont.because it never stops...thats where knowing my worth comes into play

What if he claims to love both parties?? I'm done after 5+ yrs. He's known her 2yrs from work and also got her pregnant

What about if my affair was 18 years ago and it just came to light. Do you think it is possible for me not to remember everything? I told him everything and by everything I mean everything that I remember. I have been as honest as possible because I have been reading and watching so many things on infidelity and I know honesty is number one. I know I have to disclose everything, but I can’t remember everything, it’s been to long. I want to go to therapy to see if it can help but he doesn’t want to.

@CaToRi-

4 жыл бұрын

My husband cheated on 1998 but it was revealed on 2015 (as Hasani said, everything eventually get discovered). He said he just can remember a little (he always had bad memory) but the problem is I have excellent memory and I remember many of the things that happened, how he behaved and treat me as I was invisible. It’s hard for me to believe that him, while “in love” with me, could be with someone that “he didn’t love”. I just concluded that I’m convenient but not relevant. He denies it but I remember a lot of things that proves me I’m right 😪

@reneeholland1369

3 жыл бұрын

@@CaToRi- this happened to me also, he told me 40 yrs later, he says 1x but how can I believe that is the truth

@CaToRi-

3 жыл бұрын

@@reneeholland1369 exactly. When someone do something and he/she knows it’s bad, the first thing they develop to handle the contradiction (I’m supposed to be a good person but want to do a bad thing) are defense mechanisms or rationalization. Forgetfulness and “logical” excuses (...”I was having an awful stress during those days...”) are the ways their minds use to reconcile their sexual desires and their morals.

Hello. I love this video. Please tell me if you give private therapies to couples. My partner and I are going through this problem and we need help. I hope your answer, thank you very much, you do a good job.

@hasanipettiford

4 жыл бұрын

Ana C. Knight yes we do. Www.couplesacademy.org / 678-200-8996

@torumacto8704

3 жыл бұрын

@@hasanipettiford Is there healing for us? We both cheated over a decade ago, there’s trust issues, still secrets and forgiveness is not an option for one of us

I dont know why people cant be honest!!!😮 this world is emotionally messed up

So this is what Jada Smith was talking about when she said she was in an entanglement with August

What if your spouse does both, one night stands and had an emotional affair?

What is the effect of alcoholism on all this? Does its physical, emotional, and spiritual damage make it any easier for the hurt spouse to explain and get over the infidelity?

Do you except insurance

Is it wrong to text my husband this video if we are separated n he is in a new relationship?? 2 years separated false starts. I'm tired and don't want to do anything that will prolong this situation

@jensbornagain

3 жыл бұрын

If he is in a new relationship move on.

Hey Mr hasani question, I want help for healing, I haven't completely healed from my past relationships but I thought I was, but I still decided to trust again and to love again with a new and relationship betrayed me aswell cheating, we live together he Say he want to work it out , he wants us together, but when I tell him I need counseling he doesn't want to go with me or just get any help. Idk what to do. Any advice, and I want to speak with you

@kjnest

Жыл бұрын

Respect yourself enough to leave him!!!! You know you can do better!!

@kjnest

Жыл бұрын

To all you ladies out there!! Don’t put up with anyone who cheats on you!!!! They will not change! If you stay that already know you will put up with it!!

I don't understand how there are couple's counselors out there who operate without "full-disclosure" in these situations. Is there any focus on retraining therapists for couple's counseling? Many of them are not even trained.. and can still practice. It's HARDER than individual therapy.. why are we trusting this in the hands of untrained professionals?

My husbands affair resulted in a pregnant side chick. What do I do???

@julatehmulbah

4 жыл бұрын

Oh wow adopt the kid after the DNA test and get some healing

@CaToRi-

4 жыл бұрын

Nikita Miller - it will be hard for you every time you see his child and not think about the affair. The baby is innocent but because of that you are not forced to keep a relationship with him. I’m very sorry for your situation.

@saindelinejeanpierre986

2 жыл бұрын

@@julatehmulbah noooo way what message are u sending to the husband

@julatehmulbah

2 жыл бұрын

@@saindelinejeanpierre986 so what’s the standard solution since mine will send him wrong signal. Humans interactions can not be treated like exact science so it’s just one solution and there are thousands more solutions that could work for others.

@saindelinejeanpierre986

2 жыл бұрын

@@julatehmulbah u right love everyone knows their limit when it comes to these types of situation. But I will not encourage it

Hi. My question is, if you find out your wife had 4 different partners in 3 years how do I come back from that?? Oh but i did cheated on her 15 yrs ago and I just need to know how an I recover from that! Cus when I cheated it was only once and hardly knew the chick but my ex wife got to know them cus she just don’t fuck it has to be somebody in her face everyday for her to do her dirty unlike me I don’t have to know the chick or not it doesn’t matter

@baby-E731

4 жыл бұрын

Silly Sil thank you but prayers really not gonna help anything except her & i be real and keep shit💯💯💯 I’m still very much in love with her it’s just I can’t wrap my head around how she do that and tried to cover her ass but I cought her in her lies ion know if she wants to separate again ....

@sillysil20500

4 жыл бұрын

Go to Jesus. He will help you. He knows your pain.

8:32

But she still secretive, and still overprotective of her phone,

@SAGITTARIUS359

3 жыл бұрын

That's the hardest part of trying to move on from being cheated on.... When they don't try to build back the trust

@SippenSomeTea

Жыл бұрын

Nope.

Je vous considerent enormement sur toutes les plants vous peuples americains vraiment et reellement ,mais aussi moi je me méfie enormément des menaces que je reçois , par certains qui voulais m'incriminer à ce que je ne represent pas , de me dire que je suis entrain de donné ou soutouré des information , mais pour quoi faire pourquoi ,ça sa devient une menace rigoureux pour moi ,vraiment ça me dépasse enormement , que je peut même pas croire à ça seule Dieu sais , si vraiment je doit me retrouvais à ce point veut vraiment que je m'arange cool calme dans mon coin et Je cherche toujour mon Dieu , mais vraiment Jai pas de problemes de tête non , seulement J'ignore que toutes personnes , qu'ils n'arrivent aucun ou aucune probleme de vie dans sa vie

☹

Why so expensive? Don’t you care about people’s pain.

Just passing through. While you have knowledge on the subject you are apparently limited in understanding the power of prayer and God working through repentant and forgiving hearts. And pastors are still having success with helping couples overcome the brokeness caused by affairs and repairing marriages. So I say this with all due respect, I think it's wise for you to remain within the arena of your expertise when making reccommendations to people. You may specialize in a form of counseling but that doesn't make you a specialist in the above mentioned areas. Apart from that, great vid!

@laquittaashley2296

4 жыл бұрын

Upward journey This brother is on point and well versed and speaks with TONS of Knowledge in my Opinion especially how he breaks things down as if he's SCAFFOLDING from TOP to Bottom for you to speak for the listeners as if you're the Expert and say stay in your Arena is OUT OF LINE! Many of us are getting a FREE therepy session and I've gotten more Understanding from him than a Pastor and a Therapist he's REAL RAW and RELEVANT and I'm not a kid 30 plus years of Marriage so MANY UPS AND DOWNS..But he's offering HEALING WORDS. So speak individually not collectively. If he's doing NOTHING for you find another KZread channel And you ended sarcastically GREAT VID. .BOO BYE!! KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YO SELF said Respectfully!!! 30 plus going strong with the early issues that had to be addressed.. and re- addressed.. Thank you Hasani great messages I've learned a lot tonight God Bless You!! Keep it coming

@TheUpwardjourney

4 жыл бұрын

@@laquittaashley2296 PLEASE, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.... I encourage you to keep seeking the help you need(and by all means) don't stop here. Watch even more videos, read all of his books, attend his seminars/counseling sessions and when you finish I find it very unlikely that even you(with all of your credentials) would agree with EVERYTHING he has to say. Unfortunately you missed the point big time, but for the record; being well-versed means nothing if you can't reccommend it as a source of help!