Talk to old people. Trust me, you want to practice your small talk skills you will gain the chance to learn from someone who isn't in a hurry and values conversation.

@Thedistilledman1

8 жыл бұрын

I love that! Great suggestion.

@Tama-sw8tn

7 жыл бұрын

great advise !

@truelily7

4 жыл бұрын

I am older and I find that younger people don't seem to get the little light and humorous exchanges older people tend to have. I am southern and I grew up with comments like, " What did you go and make it rain for?", or " Hot enough for you?" Oh, and a general sense American one " Well, you're living the life of Riley", from the old tv series. When I run across someone who uses this these types of expressions it feels like home. I am liberal and not prudish but I get a bit tired of hearing people use the F word constantly and casually.

@gregoryblanco4429

4 жыл бұрын

This was great, thanks, I've been looking for "how to become self confident person" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Ganatad Confidence carborundum - (do a google search ) ? It is a great exclusive product for gaining confidence and self-esteem minus the normal expense. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my co-worker got cool success with it.

@jumpmanyang3117

3 жыл бұрын

@@truelily7 only low-class people use F words. None of my friends use any F words. I'm a 25 years old Christian convert.

when you get anxious about small talk from watching a video about how to small talk

@agapon2023

5 жыл бұрын

I think This is because he just mocks shy people when he acts them

@Re-bl5sr

3 жыл бұрын

😂

@user-jn7mv4gl1r

Жыл бұрын

Bro stop being a anti social fuck

In a world where ppl think they can make connections through tinder and express emotions with emojis, I applaud you for bringing back the art of human interaction! Great job.

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

thank you so much!

@utalanci9816

5 жыл бұрын

Loc Uyen Nguyen Valuable in any times.:)

I enjoy small talk. I find it comforting. This is especially the case when I am having a traumatic day or week. Just someone remarking, " This rain is really something" or " Aren't these nice looking apples", can distract me from the heavier issues in my life. If the whole world, as we know it, came to an end I think we would long for these types of exchanges between people.

Watching this video actually made me realize how irrational my fear of small talk was and that I'm actually totally competent. Big confidence boost. Thanks, a lot Kyle; keep up the great work.

@Thedistilledman1

9 жыл бұрын

nobunagav3 thanks! Glad you found it helpful. Cheers!

@em1tulsa

9 жыл бұрын

My thoughts, exactly. There have been troubled situations where getting a conversation off the ground seemed impossible, and time or circumstances simply prevented any success. Easy to focus on the "failures". But in the bigger picture there have been more than enough pleasant interactions to ease the fears of future awkwardness. Thanks for the excellent video, Kyle.

@Thedistilledman1

9 жыл бұрын

Michael W Thanks Michael!

Doesn't work. I started talking to a girl in the park and she replied with "what chandelier are you talking about and who are the johnsons?"

@user-kq5sc9fb8i

7 жыл бұрын

Ricky LOL

@Tbatbatba88

5 жыл бұрын

i see what you did there.

@JackEacher

5 жыл бұрын

its still funny after a year

I don't know why this doesn't have more views. More people should watch this because it often happens to me that people just shut down the smalltalk with very simple answers instead of realizing that small talk is just a temporal state...

@timetravelmm3042

4 жыл бұрын

Yes.

I subscribed, I was hesitant at first because this channels seems to be targeted to men, but the content is just so interesting and my socially awkward self needs this..

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

Glad you're finding it helpful, Nana!

@narrelleweir6383

6 жыл бұрын

I am female as well. Good to read & listen from a male's point of view.

@Tbatbatba88

5 жыл бұрын

lol

I'm not necessarily your target demographic, but I'm loving this channel. I like keeping these skills fresh and your delivery is humourous, without being over the top or insincere. Excited to see more

Social interaction is so hard for me. I feel like it’s hard for me to be myself around strangers because I always want everyone to like me so I hold back to not rub anyone the wrong way with my personality.

This guy just talked to himself for 13 minutes, I can't even talk to someone for 13 seconds

Thanks Kyle (spelling?), I really enjoyed your video. For a long time I dismissed small talk as 'small talk for small people', until I realised that it was stopping me from building friendships and networks. I have improved a lot since then, but your video offered me some new insights. One tip I'd like to share that I have found works well for me - when meeting new people, ensure you remember their name, even if it means you miss a part of what they say next. One way of doing that is to deliberately use their name back to them in the conversation. Being able to recall someone's name when you see them next is a huge enabler for conversation, and great for rapport too. There is nothing more awful than seeing that person you spoke to and liked next week, but who you are afraid to speak to or introduce because you can't recall their name. Full points also Kyle for the attributions to other authors; helpful and a great way to show integrity and build credibility. Regards Chris Rowntree

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much, Chris! and thanks for the additional tip--definitely agree that remembering and using someone's name can be a great way to build rapport. Yes, you spelled my name correctly, by the way ("Kyle"). Way to reinforce your own point! :-) thanks again, Chris!

Here in Brazil we call small talk "Conversa Fiada" hahah yes. I was not expecting to be convinced that small talk is actually this useful thanks

Sufficient Eye contact is the most valuable asset to building rapport, in combination with small talk. Btw last time I tried to small talk the other person would just shrug me off. Made me scared of small talks but watching this video gave me a confidence boost. Thanks :D

I loved the video and learned a lot. I disagree that life would be more awkward without small talk, though. This is based on a premise that we need to be constantly talking about something, and build rapport with everybody we meet. If we spent our time doing something productive rather than talking about meaningless stuff with people we are not meant to connect with, the world would be much better place.

The free information is also called key words that may /should be used to make the conversation going on. Never, but never ask closed questions (yes or no), and regarding to the body language, try to smile (a real one: mouth and eyes), and the illustrators (hands: palms up - this makes the other person feel that you won't go harm her/him). Subtle things make all the difference.

Can't believe this video is still adding value to my and numerous people life. 8 years ago, Thanks Kyle much helpful!

Thank you. I just found your channel, and I’m loving it.

Making small talk can sometimes be awkward. In this video, learn how to master small talk and feel confident talking to anyone. #conversationskills #smalltalk

@Thedistilledman1

8 жыл бұрын

Majikat I hear you. But you may just be thinking about it too much. What naturally tends to happen is that the conversation starts out superficial, and then someone will mention something that gets the group conversation juices flowing, and then you're not worrying about it anymore. Or people will end up pairing off into side conversations, since it can be difficult to maintain everyone's interest in a group conversation.

@treeguyty3297

5 жыл бұрын

@The Distilled Man Big ups to you dude you’ve successfully breached the barrier between sociology and psychology and brought it to hospitality. In my opinion every new entrant to hospitality needs to see this video. In all honesty I wish this was available to me 4 years ago, it looks at human interaction in a deeper light 👏🏼

I start talking about weather if I need to fill awkward silences X'D But I am pretty professional at small talk. I don't even think that small talk exists. I just talk about anything because I'm curious about anything. And this is how you start connecting or not with anyone. I see if we share same interests. When you find the shared interests it's precious from then on.

Thanks so much! I start a new job soon and making new connections is making me nervous but your video is so helpful.

And the old school conversation uses decent words & correct grammar. 🤗

Hey look, it's Chris Pine!

@Thedistilledman1

9 жыл бұрын

Ha. Thanks...I guess I've been called worse... :-)

@reikisponge

9 жыл бұрын

The Distilled Man Haley Joel Osment after make-over and weight loss? LOL, just kidding.... I do see some similarity between you two :) That's my small talk.. sudden crack of whatever, and then... silence.... You don't look like you read a script. You are successful in showing how much you know your stuff. Thanks for the tip.

@ethanSADTP

8 жыл бұрын

+Aaron Kaminski i thought ryan reynolds

@jv200909

7 жыл бұрын

Good advise. Although I dislike small talks and hope that one day another form of meaningful communication will replace the nonsense of small talk. Most people just hate it.

@jv200909

7 жыл бұрын

Ooops, wrong thread. I was replying to nathaniel byrd who suggested practicing small talk with old people.

I completely resonate with the example of yourself and the client. On point

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

thanks Ashley! Glad you found it helpful!

All my fellow introverts stand up! Lol

Loved this video. Thank you!

man you are brilliant human being, almost want to small talk to the screen

Very good vid! I have autism and being social and connect with new people and make new friends is really a fight forvme

Thank you for the video! Very helpful, I'll give it a Like and probably watch it again later so I can keep those tips in mind, they're very useful.

@KyleIngham1

9 жыл бұрын

Thanks! Glad you found it helpful.

This was a great video man and very useful to me.

This guy right here is why I'll become more confident.When I can have small talk with people who once intimidated me, he'll be the reason why...

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

Haha, thanks Sophie!

You saved my social life,thank you

Very helpful, great presentation of topic thank you!

It is lovely hearing you.... Be it table manners or small talks.

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

thank you very much for saying that!

"I need you to tell me your position on abortion and your deep seeded religious beliefs" I'm perfectly okay with this.

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

John, are you saying you're okay with jumping right to the tough questions, without any warm up?

@Jess-nz7be

6 жыл бұрын

The Distilled Man Yes i think he is!

@skillabr1832

6 жыл бұрын

The Distilled Man Yes. I'd rather get to know someone that way than waste time with talking about nothing important.

@Tbatbatba88

5 жыл бұрын

sounds legit to me

@THE-WAY_THE-TRUTH_THE-LIFE.

2 жыл бұрын

@@skillabr1832 But small talk is filled with "nothing important". That's the point to small talk man. Ironically you don't know how to make small talk man.

found out about this site while I was looking for an activity for my ESL students -small talk! :)) I found many useful things regarding the men & style.many men do lack style. but remember not to overdo, then it is really unattractive. ;)

@Thedistilledman1

9 жыл бұрын

Deniz Ekin Thanks! Appreciate the kind words.

How to have a small talk Its all about making people feel nice Open body language take more space Move hands Touch At a party ask strangers how they become friends with the host Start by complementing Dont just say yes no ask back a question At party start with the location and environment say its really cold here isnt it or i really love the vibe the cake was amazing How do you know the johnsons

Good video. Thank you for this.

"She was offering free information about herself" ... Which could have led to a friendship or maybe even a marriage if thats what you aim for lol! Just starting talking to someone can open up so many closed doors! Its fascinating sometimes how interractions with other people can end up!

You are GRRRRREAT! I just subscribed.

Can you turn the volume up for the next videos? Have to boost it up real high...

Chris Pine?? :O Just kidding great video though pal! Just got your 48 Hour Gentleman book and it's brill.

Nice haircut, Distilled Man!

Hey Kyle, I know you might be busy but you should post videos more often... I’m interested in some of your cooking videos if that makes it easier. Cheers!

Love the ending

I could be better but my parents need this more than I do. They don’t talk. I could talking having a conversations having questions for clarity and they will start drama that I don’t need.

Nice voice, charisma, material! Like and subscription!

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

thanks Liam!

Totally unrelated question, what do you use in your hair?

@chumadoshi6987

6 жыл бұрын

splashlog01 Cum

How about when coworkers over do the conversation? Some people tend to repeat themselves or talk about emotional personal things and then the great conversation turns into “wish I would have kept this at small talk”

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

then you can always use some of the tips from my video on "How to Get Out of a Conversation": kzread.info/dash/bejne/faJpx62BnLOqYM4.html

this helped

Traveling to our headquarter office in a few weeks and meeting my team mates for the first time after working with them remotely for a year… I am kinda nervous…small talks at work is never my strong suit😅

his eyes

@timetravelmm3042

4 жыл бұрын

His eyes what?

My only problem is when I do make a connection and exchange info or contacts. I never follow up as the other party is genuinely interested. Am I antisocial or uninterested?

How do you start the conversation with family?

Great Content Thank You Tdm Find common ground Ask open Make a statement, then ask More richness Seize the info Hw u make them feel Body, ton, img

Very good❤❤❤

if you like sports and you're into sports, you have a great advantage with small talk.

@NullPxl

7 жыл бұрын

John Solodovesky ... if the other person likes sports

@annalizabartholomew6199

6 жыл бұрын

I like sorts and I’m into it but I have never had a conversation on sports 😂

@truelily7

4 жыл бұрын

If you like sports.

Small talk eh? Never heard of it but I think I like it. I'll try it some time.

lol I'd hate to meet a person like me! As a matter of the fact, when I meet a fellow Russian abroad we tend to avoid each other and this is a weird kind of thing among all Russians.

@Sorryscene

6 жыл бұрын

Антон Суров I'm not Russian but because you are, I would avoid you too.

@lifebeelifebee9214

6 жыл бұрын

OMG so true! I am Russian, and I live in rural America, with zero russian population, but I live 10 min away from popular ski resort where I take kids often. I usually chill inside waiting for them, and I don;t recall a day without hearing Russian speech - folks who come for a day from Chicago. I don;t approach anyone anymore, but I tried, and never ever a Russian person, no matter male or female, or a couple or a group were willing to communicate besides unfriendly nod and looking away . It was always puzzling to me LOL

@coolvet27

6 жыл бұрын

What's worse is finding a person that posses the trait you least likes about yourself, but your not mad because you know how they feel

@TheToneBender

6 жыл бұрын

Dutch people make a friendly comment, indicating that they are Dutch as well followed by ignoring each other and never speaking again

@slappy8941

5 жыл бұрын

I've noticed that with Russians I've known in America; none of them want anything to do with other Russians.

9:24 why is this response so funny hahaahahahhaahahah

Name of the books anyone?

this was great ill listen to it till is sinc in my subconscious mind

Great video! Really helpful. Thanks man

I like the convo starter

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

thanks so much, Ashley!

I realize how important small talk is in the grand scheme of being a great communicator, it's a start, I hate small talk, but I appreciate your tips and I'm willing to get better at it than I am now. Thanks again Kyle! - Chris Richard Operations Manager - Almost Home Real Estate Services almosthomefl.com

I am happy to talk to people I don't know unless they are rude.

nice guy

honestly foamy id have been in there over hour and a half! i just couldnt deal with the small talk 😷😷😷

I despise smalltalk, especially in emails. It is dishonest and unnecessary BS. Whenever someone asks me how I am, I usually answer with something like "Bad, my dog died" or "Not so well, my hemorrhoids hurt" and if that person asks me again I'd usually say "Thanks, fantastic, my hemmorrhoids popped today". xD

small talk is very important

most of the persons r rude over here but em really a big fan ov u kyle u r just perfect i want to be a person like u... having same thoughts like u 😊

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

thanks Hina!

@HinaKhan-hg8bm

6 жыл бұрын

kyle! i really like u seriously 😍

@HinaKhan-hg8bm

6 жыл бұрын

The Distilled Man n yuppp wanna talk to u privately 😶

Anyone try these tips with success I'm excited to incorporate some of these to further imrpove my future business skills!

@narrelleweir6383

6 жыл бұрын

anthony rodriguez It works. My father told me similar things, including body language.

How to make small talk with people of other races or cultural differences. That's where people tend to have the most awkward conversations or lack there of. Piece of advice, don't lead the conversation with stereotypes and hot topics from Facebook! Hahaha. Also, know that you don't have to talk about things you're not familiar. Never fake it til you make it. You only need to be honest and confident in who you are... never shrink to make others comfortable with you.

Surprised you used the phrase "suss out", its British slang! Is it making its way stateside?

@Thedistilledman1

9 жыл бұрын

Ha! Imran Chaudhry , yes, I guess I did. I like it...not sure if other Yanks are using it much. My wife watches a lot of British television, so that could be how it seeped in...

Yeah when people mirror me, it freaks me out. Even subtly.

if only we didn't live in a world full of self-absorbed, small minded people who would run at the hint of any intellectual conversation about things that really matter. You know the world is full of them, those who need small talk. You know what i think, small talk is for small minded people. Lets face it, no small talk genius has ever given you the things that humanity enjoys. I love people who hate small-talk and it so happens that most of those who do have taken humanity on massive leaps!

@jv200909

7 жыл бұрын

Yes, small talk should be replaced with something more meaningful or even just something more comforting when we see our neighbors, relatives we had not seen for a long time, strangers at a party or just anyone. Small talks waste time and energy.

@onilregeats6599

6 жыл бұрын

Its not like small talk was invented by someone, its been there since the beginning and is a human way of communicating. I also would doubt that being bad at small talk and being a genius is in any way relatable, its probably more that most geniuses are introvertet. But there are many succsesfull people just bevause they are good at small talk.

I think one reason many don't seem very good or skilled at small talk today is because too many people have their nose glued to their cell phone screens.

@timetravelmm3042

4 жыл бұрын

Cell phones are interesting eh?

Chris Pine?

I talk to my friend on the phone and say Hi Steve, what have you been up to? Steve: Not much hes saus but doesn't ask me the same question. So I just start telling him what I have been up to like I trimed all my bushes, washed the car cleaned my kitchen floor. After saying all that he's goes silent and says nothing. I have to pummel him with questions in order to keep the conversation going. This isn't fun! If I didn't ask him questions he would still be silent. Quite awkward. These are the kinds of situations these you tube guys don't talk about.

@babtougirl

Жыл бұрын

well i guess, just like everything else in this life it doesn't work ALL THE TIME, with anyone, it always depends on people, context, etc. may be he was mourning someone? who knows...

So this is what you do when you're not making movies. Cute.

I hate handsome people, but I've subscribed in spite of it

Why don't they teach it in school? So people can go to the distilled man

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

ha! yes, thanks JP!

Me: How do you know the Johnsons? Her: I have a boyfriend.

@saldb

4 жыл бұрын

Life

@mikebingham9700

3 жыл бұрын

You: I have a Boyfriend to. Let's all go out together sometime? Her: I was lying I don't have a boyfriend. i just said that because you are not good looking!

My small talk with you would start with... " Star Trek was an interesting movie... btw has anyone ever told you you look a lot like Chris Pine? :D"

Is it just me or does the Distilled man look like Tom Hanks and Ryan Reynolds rolled into one?

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

Ha, I don't think I've heard that one before...

he looks slight bit of ryan reynolds and then i started looking at him than what he is saying LOL

@mikebingham9700

3 жыл бұрын

He looks like Betty White? What?

who is this for?

An unconventional taste in anything, be it accessories or rides, is one guaranteed opening to start a small talk.

@Thedistilledman1

6 жыл бұрын

Totally agree, Terry. I think it's similar to that technique of trying to provide over the top detail when you tell someone something--providing rich content for the other person to work with (like, as you say, an unconventional preference or opinion) makes it a lot easier for them to have something grab onto and relate to (or disagree with!)

I still kinda find this and his techniques awkward

but nobody is like me

@xhuyentran

8 жыл бұрын

exactly...

You are not doing small talk so I am gonna fast forward...

1:32 video starts

Hey look, it's Forrest Gump!

@TheIntJuggler

8 жыл бұрын

+Fawwaz Syarif Hey hows it going?

@chumadoshi6987

6 жыл бұрын

Fawwaz Syarif Stop insulting your father

@miryamishot

6 жыл бұрын

Lmao!

What’s your name❌ tell me about the origins of the label you’ve been given at birth✅

Handsome man

He is so hot.. I like him though

How to make small talk: Step 1: Make small talk.

How to make small talk: Don't

@Thedistilledman1

7 жыл бұрын

That's one approach. So you just straight to the tough questions and deep conversation, eh? How does that go?

Middle school edition

Sounds creepy ? !