Don't aim for best friends. Just kind acquaintances is fine.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

A lot of wisdom in that!

@ingenuity296

23 күн бұрын

@@eldergal ❤️

@rochellea9652

23 күн бұрын

agree❤

@ingenuity296

23 күн бұрын

@@rochellea9652 ❤️

@dizzylizzie9091

21 күн бұрын

Yes takes all the pressure off for sure.

Losing our family and friends is part of growing old. I could never have those close friendships like before because I don't trust people anymore. I haven't dated in 15 years because I finally realized lovers aren't worth all the BS. I fill in the love gaps with lots of dogs and cats. KZread is incredible for interacting with other people. My thoughts in the form of a comment have been read by thousands of people worldwide, yet I sit alone in the middle of the desert. I just turned 65.

@wintercame

24 күн бұрын

💯

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing sunshine! I know it's hard to trust others sometimes. Appreciate you watching!

@wbl5649

24 күн бұрын

I'm 65 too. Alone with one 9 year old dog who I adore. I have considered getting another dog but then I worry what if something happens to me, like if I fall and break my hip etc, then what happens to my dogs if I have to go to hospital and rehab center for say 3 weeks ? Dogs would have to go to boarding all that time ? Bad for them and costly. I would have no one to care for them. So I am being hesitant on getting another as I grow older. Hate to live in a " what if" world but it's something that has to be considered

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

@@sunshineinarizona1726 it’s hard to have our history through our close family and friends die as we get older. I have trouble trusting people as I get older in my 40’s. Haven’t dated for a while and don’t plan to either. I find also if you have a place to live people are looking for somewhere to lay there head on the form of real estate

@LillyMarzSheps

23 күн бұрын

​@@wbl5649Maybe a cat.

I'm an introvert and a loner. I do make an effort to know my neighbors because I think it's important. I don't need a lot of social interaction but your video inspires me to maybe put myself out there a little bit more. If only I could find friends that are as nice as my cats.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for your comment Janet! I feel much the same (except I don't have a cat). Do what you can.

At age 79 I find that often older people need to learn how to be a friend. I have a handful of slightly older friends with health problems. I try to follow developments in their lives, but I find that I am always the initiator of communication. Then six months can pass unless I make the effort to communicate. Frankly I am tired of scurrying around like a schoolgirl trying to keep an unresponsive boy's interest. The fact is, I perhaps unwisely moved to a remote rural location 10 years ago and have no one to see daily . . . I am isolated. Do my old friends not think about my situation? Apparently not. I am game to meet people halfway, but not enthusiastic about carrying the whole load.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

I hear you on this laddie! This speaks to how many people don't know how to have balanced friendships. I can understand your frustration about carrying the whole load here. I know there are people that are more giving out there.

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

I always sent Christmas cards and remember birthdays and all but 2 people in my entire life would barely acknowledge they got the cards and/or even presents I sent them. I couldn't believe it! I thought it was just plain wrong. I've only had a couple people in my life that felt great about sending me cards or whatever on special days. I never expected it from them but they wanted to do this. When I have observed what seems to be reality it seems that is what people do. I always wondered why don't people remember me on special days. These are not just people I've just met either. I got tired of it. I was trying to cultivate in myself unconditional caring about people...not expecting anything back....and that is just what happened...I got nothing alright. Not to sound bitter...ha ha....but in the end it doesn't pay to just be the only one who cares about this kind of thing in a friendship. it's just best to let it all go. The heck with it. I hope everyone finds contentment in whatever life situation they find themselves. I personally love to give of my time and trying to be a better friend to someone. I know I've been an thoughtless person at times myself. But why burn yourself out on this stuff. I don't like being resentful is all. I don't like that feeling inside me.

@WWGWGA-bi2rv

18 күн бұрын

@@heaven7360I live in a 55 and older community with a clubhouse and plenty of activities if that’s your thing. Not my thing at this point. Many people walk in the morning and at dusk. If I’m lonely I just go out the front door and there is usually a group walking I can join. I really prefer rural but at 68 I have to consider that I am a loner and that might not be the best thing for me.

@dorothyjohnson6743

13 күн бұрын

That is quite what I feel about finding and being friends. Some days. I'm really at a loss

There is no shame in being a loner. I was a loner even as a child, like my father.

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

I agree. I was also a loner, still am. It’s the reason I became a serious classical musician. Just practiced a lot all day when I was a kid.

@kimfelopulos8139

24 күн бұрын

@@annabanana50well, that’s wonderful, an instrument that you’ve become familiar with is wonderful, but it’s not available or a talent for everyone

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

@@kimfelopulos8139 I’m very lucky thank you

@bobc4d

24 күн бұрын

I too have always been a loner. I could be in a room full of people and still feel alone. I feel uncomfortable around people

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

@@bobc4d I totally get that..

I am 76. I believe the best way to stay social and relevant is to volunteer! If you are ambulatory, there are always volunteer possibilities. It is the answer.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Great suggestion john!

@user-hc6so5ul6o

21 күн бұрын

Yes - volunteer at something you truly care about and you will find like minded people. The friend thing will come naturally then.

@WWGWGA-bi2rv

18 күн бұрын

Volunteer at an animal shelter. You will find tons of like minded people who are good and caring of all ages.

@Thatsher21

18 күн бұрын

Agreed. I volunteer all the time and I’m young. I’ve met some wonderful people while volunteering and it does my heart good to be there for others.

@johnkacarab2661

18 күн бұрын

@@Thatsher21 What kind of volunteering do you do?

I do much better with acquaintances. Ive never had close friends. Im not the daily phonecall person nor do i like that. I am not the person that meets for morning coffee. And you just said what i run into with every friend encounter...im always willing to help but i cant name one person that has ever been the reciprocating person when i needed help...unless i was paying lol

I’m depressed. I can only handle people in small time frames. It’s getting worse and worse. The women in my neighborhood, are a bunch of gossip queens. So I completely shut down. They made up a story about me that this guy was coming in and out of my house. And I can’t even stand the guy. I’m 63.

@monicaperez2843

24 күн бұрын

@@Contessa998 This is why I prefer telephone and Zoom friends, whom I visit every three months (out of state).

@Contessa998

24 күн бұрын

@@monicaperez2843 Thanks Monica……..❤

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

I know what you mean Contessa about the drama queens. I understand. It's one thing I don't enjoy about senior living places.

@nolaparker9574

23 күн бұрын

A lady I know down the street just lost her husband after 60 years together and another neighbor texted back a laugh emoji, What the? just a nasty gossip. Why do people do this?

@Contessa998

22 күн бұрын

@@nolaparker9574 Some women are just biachy! And 🧐 nosy and evil 👿

You are honest, genuine, and you posses about a hundred other incredible qualities. If more people were like you this world wouldn’t be what it’s become. If your son only knew what an incredible person his mother is. Not taking about mistakes here, It’s all about intentions and you have the purest intentions. Because of you, tons of lonely people have someone to listen to and connect with emotionally because you don’t LIE. You are more interested in helping people than making yourself look like a vision of perfection. We owe you.

@Supernova752

24 күн бұрын

Yes!! ❤❤❤

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for the extra-kind words thetruth! Appreciate it so much!

Hi Allison from Australia. When I was younger, I seemed to need friends and was very sociable. Now I am 69 and feel that my need for friends is not as strong. I am a loner and have to make a real effort to keep in touch with people.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

@@Kirbygal55 I hear you on that. I had more friends when I was younger too. Thanks for watching!

I find and witness most people are pretty ruthless and out for themselves, even my siblings, it’s a shame to say being around them makes me so content to be alone, phone conversations and shorts visits with people are enough for me😊

Get involved with groups you are interested in and go regularly. Become a familiar face. It takes time, but eventually people will know you and vice versa. And say “yes” to new invitations. They can lead to new connections. Making real connections as we age takes longer.

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

Such good advice: "Become a familiar face."

@diannegoode9010

24 күн бұрын

It depends where you live some places do not have much if anything tto offer in the way of social groups. Plus with the cost of living many places are not starting up new activities.

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

where do you find such groups?

I always find these discussions about friendships/ making friends in our older years fascinating. Every time I read "if you don't have friends, you're going to drop dead prematurely..." Of course, I'm exaggerating but that is how I read it at times. I'm a loner and will welcome any friends God and the Universe send my way. I don't go out of my way to MAKE friends, however. I've learned some hard lessons when it comes to friendship. I was a very good friend to several women that stabbed me in the back and stabbed me hard. It was heart breaking at the time because I loved those two people. Those experiences have jaded me, for sure. I've been a lousy friend to several people over the years and I regret that. I could have done better. I can't do anything about that now but I can learn from the good and the bad of all my experiences. As an introvert, I'm okay being with/ by myself but I do need to connect with others for short periods of time.

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

yeah being betrayed can really do damage. I'm trying to let go of bad memories and resentments. I know I've been a jerk sometimes, but I don't remember though ever really screwing up someone's head as bad as I've experienced. Well, it's over and I guess I'm not the only person to experience blows to emotional health. I just wish it was easier to move on in my head at times. That's the only thing I don't like about being alone constantly. If I was in a better head space I wouldn't be up in my head thinking about sad or fearful stuff. So that's why, like you, I do like to chat with people and feel a safe space with them for a bit.

Amen to boundaries. I have learned to be careful about who and what I make commitments to. When I get out for my walks, just exchanging a friendly greeting and a genuine smile with another good-natured looking person is uplifting. Since I moved to a walkable town and my legs have been cooperating, I've been adopting Kurt Vonnegut's practice of "walking to town for one envelope." You see so much more on foot. Lightweight destinations keep me going and enjoying my little journeys. 👣🤗🕊️

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

I love that Kurt Vonnegut concept - thanks for sharing it Diane! I like to have a purpose for a walk; sometimes it's hard to go for a walk if there isn't some purpose, even one envelope! It's great that you're walking regularly!

@mirkacihlar8110

24 күн бұрын

Allison,you are so right about so called long term friendships.They know 2 much+they take you for granted.Often they don't regard the way you would want them to regard.The worst are 📞 relationships,long distance,based only on 📞 conversations.Those can be draining+as time goes by you don't know each other.You lose true connection 2 the point you don't who are you talking to,who is that person...Such "relationships aren't my cup of tea lol.

I have lived in a nice 55+ community for about 2 years now. I thought I would have a bunch of new friends here but I don't. I've had tons of friends over the years and most kind of faded over time for one reason or another. When I meet other women at pickleball, neighborhood get togethers etc. I am not the kind of person who talks 'at' people or talks incessantly about myself but I find that many of the women here are like that. I just don't get it and I can't connect with people like that. They just don't seem self-aware at all. Still I see women together all over the place. I just haven't connected with anyone in a deeper way. Every week I leave the 55+ bubble and go to a big gym in the city and have met some other women there, they don't talk like the women in my development do. They seem more normal. I am ambivalent at this point. Trying not to blame myself or give up though. I'm an extroverted introvert I think. Thanks Elder Gal, you are so wise!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this dizzylizzie! I have found similar dynamics among people in senior communities. That's why I enjoy meeting others through outside activities, such as music. Appreciate you watching!

I seem to make friends about my age (I am 66 and my friends are 60-85). The friendships seem to last 10 years and they either pass away or peter out.

Yes, chronic health issues. I had sepsis from a kidney infection I didn't know I had in February of 2023. I came home from the hospital and had a HARD fall, hitting my head one week later. My health has never been the same. I don't feel like going out in public. I don't feel like being around people. I hope I heal to the point I was before all of this...but my Dr is telling me, "It's about not letting it get worse." So, there is not much hope there for healing. ...and I do seem to be getting less and less healthy. - But I have my service dog and was raised alone, so I know how to keep myself occupied.

@Supernova752

24 күн бұрын

I’m sorry you have been going through all of that. Chronic health conditions make it near impossible to meet people, or even have the desire too. My Drs and nurses are my social interactions

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Selah! So sorry you have had such serious health issues. Do what you can - I know it is important to keep moving and get fresh air as much as possible. Don't know if you walk or not, but regular walking would be good for you. Take care!

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

@@Supernova752 thank you for that supernova. Much love and many hugs to you.

I retired from the military after 28 years. I made some good friends. I knew hundreds of people. However, what I learned is that no one is really your friend unless you bring something of value. My value was knowledge and knew how to make things happen. I helped countless people obtain their career goals, and I was glad I was able to do it. If you believe someone is your friend, just move out of of reach. Guarantee you they won't be anywhere to be found. That goes for family as well. I don't bother making any friends. All the people that I know who suffered from dementia had lots of friends and family around them. Look at old Joe, he's surrounded by people, and he has dementia. I'm literally alone 24/7 weeks on end. The only time I speak to someone is my VA doc and that's really limited. I'm not depressed or anything like that. Too much to do to stay prepared for the tough times that are here and only getting worse.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

I can understand why you would feel that way. Thanks for sharing this

@raymondpalacios3032

23 күн бұрын

@@eldergal you actually have some really good topics. Thank you for sharing.

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

interesting comment. The longer the time on the earth the more experiences mount up when it comes to people especially that can become real baggage. I just feel vulnerable because of my financial and health needs. Otherwise I wouldn't care as much if I knew anyone. I do like having a discussion with people though. I used to do that constantly when I was younger, working and doing more. Things have sure wound down. Also, I notice people don't have much respect and confidence in older people. I remember over my life how many jokes were made at the expense of the "little ole lady" or "grannie" and when people would have a joke imitating an older person's mannerisms or voice..how they walk etc. Now it ain't so funny at all. I would like to have people around, but as you said someone who has lots of people around them can suffer from loneliness or mental illness. Family just seems so perfect to have and maybe it is for some folks. It sure looks like all's fun and joy online and on TV...especially on the holidays. Everyone's talking about what they're doing for the holidays and their families, etc. I feel like I'm the only one out there who isn't living the perfect safe life.

@dorothyjohnson6743

13 күн бұрын

​I often feel the same, I wonder am I expecting too much, I don't think so, but I am slow to make friends.

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

12 күн бұрын

@@dorothyjohnson6743 hi there I’ll be your friend if u want to reach out,I’am young with an old soul, stay caring & intelligent 🙏 💕✌️💕

Involvement in Facebook is kind of like gambling. The more time and emotion you put into it the more empty you feel afterwards...

@dorothyjohnson6743

13 күн бұрын

My kids and I are estranged, their choice, not mine. I have decided to realize that now I have no money, no assets, they've written me off, I can make no effort to keep in touch, and they will not because any money I had was used to help them and is now gone. I will never be repaid, and now I will never see them. It's a hard lesson to learn, but I finally learned it.

Hi Allison, I tend to be an empath, and now I find I’ve been disappointed in people and I’m very careful about letting people in my inner circle. Maybe I’m sensitive or the way I approach friendships. Plus my best friend passed a few years ago.

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

Also I tend to be a loner. I became a serious classical pianist and singer because all I had to do when I was a kid was practice. I guess I’ve been able to entertain myself a lot.

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

Totally get it.

@monicaperez2843

24 күн бұрын

I am an empath, also.

@annabanana50

24 күн бұрын

@@monicaperez2843 we give sometimes more than we get and also sensitive

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Anna - and sorry about the loss of your friend. I can understand your issues with being an empath - it makes it more difficult in friendships sometimes.

I would like a close friend to talk to. My best friend from childhood passed away a couple of years ago. My other close friend had a couple of strokes and she changed. Got nasty and cruel. I am going to classes, attending events and getting involved in other things to make connections.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Keep doing what you're doing kimr! Sorry you lost your best friend. Take care!

Who can afford to go out anymore?

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Not all activities cost a lot - such as a walking group or book club. Thanks for watching!

@WWGWGA-bi2rv

13 күн бұрын

@@lumpygravy52 yes of course there is walking etc. but I can’t afford to go out either, for breakfast or lunch or coffee. I do buy a bottle of wine and have a couple friends over. Or do coffee at home. Nice channel. You are good woman.

@dorothyjohnson6743

13 күн бұрын

Yes, that is the truth, but we have to eat, to share a meal would be good, but not just for the sake of it. I don't mean share $, I mean share time, talk. I'm on a fixed income and it's so fixed, it's practically broken. Still I do okish.

I come here. I find it very hard at 56 to make friends. I'm raising my grandkids and it's so hard. I desire close meaningful connections but it's very hard. Spaces like your Chanel help. ❤

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience Jeannemarie! Glad you found the channel.

Interesting as you say, "follow your own interests". I have made friends at the dog park which I take my dog to every day. I have made a TON of friends geocaching. I made a few friends beekeeping and signing up for Master Gardening for 10 years. Like interests definitely attract friends!!!! Good, good advice.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Lee! Glad it has led you to friends.

I'm alone ,no friends ,no family left , toxic sybllings, on the autism spectrum and mentally ill with avoidant personality disorder

@rondamiller3126

24 күн бұрын

Do you feel lonely or are you doing ok?

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this chizkiyahukabas! I hope you can find someone to connect with.

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

24 күн бұрын

@@chizkiyahukabas7078 hi there just read your post. U should try to reach out to mentally ill( iam sure they can also need a friend! Stay + If u need a friend to talk to I’m here for U 👋🏻🤗

Volunteer work is a good way to meet people and make friends.

@user-cc7uf9go2w

23 күн бұрын

Maybe. I've tried several things and all of them involved very little interaction with others (e.g. working at the dog pound). Or your interactions will be very limited (e.g. helping people with their taxes; driving people to appointments).

This is SO helpful, Allison. I had to do a pretty drastic walk-away from my friendships about ten years ago, because I didn't understand that boundaries applied to friendships, as well as other relationships. I was the kind of friend that would attract (and allow) the type of people who call at all hours with all the drama and the same problems over and over. Or people who thought they could just 'pop in' whenever the mood struck. I thought this was what being 'a true friend' was, but I had to isolate once I realized that none of them were people who I could call if the shoe was on the other foot. I feel terrible that I 'ghosted' so many people, but I just couldn't do the emotional support on demand anymore...and I'm sure that I'm long forgotten about anyway. Now the challenge...to venture back in without my hang-ups of thinking I'm supposed to be therapist to the world..lol.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this paintergrl! It's good that you now know to set boundaries with people; so it shouldn't be as draining to deal with friends again. Take care!

It's impossible. I find older people are great to gossip and not nice. I lived in a 55 plus, and these people bring me back to high school. I rather be alone. I'm going to be 70 and look very young and find women are so jealous. My friends live in a different state, and even after 60 years, we're still great friends. Socializing yes is important, but I do small talk. I'm a loner, and I'm ok with it.

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

I cannot stand the gossip...with you on this.

@monicaperez2843

24 күн бұрын

@@PT-tw6kg I live in a senior apartment complex and make a point to be a good neighbor, kind and civil to everyone, but do not participate in activities, where gossip starts.

@grai

24 күн бұрын

my mother loved in a retirement village and no-one could MOVE without the whole place knowing the windows had eyes and the walls had ears on the other hand my mother was mixing and socialising more in her 80s than she ever did so it had it's great points most of the people were lovely - just very bored which is why the bitching starts

@carolyngartner6865

24 күн бұрын

I am 69 and live in a retirement village. I basically keep to myself because of the toxic gossip. I would never have moved here if I knew what it would be like.

@wbl5649

24 күн бұрын

I have found the same to be true. I belong to a Red Hat group, and 2 widows groups. The women are gossip and there are cliques. I hate that. And bossy Betty's who take card games way too seriously. Honestly it seems any womens groups are full of bs.

Wise words. When you get older it´s hard to get close friends, people are so busy with their families. So if you don´t have a family you can easy get lonely.

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

I know what you mean. I'd like to get a card on my birthday or on Christmas or whatever...but people just don't know what's going on sometimes in a person's head. Maybe they should, but it just happens.

@AyaSmith-rb2hp

18 күн бұрын

Me too

Thank you for this topic, it is so hard to make friends as one gets older. The number of people you help with your channel is heart warming.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much Supernova!

Never found it easy. And today you need money to go places. It's a nice idea but I haven't found it to work. Especially today with the political climate, some friends have died, health issues make it impossible to plan. Gave up.

HERE PEOPLE ONLY GOSSIP! NO FRIENDS AT ALL! I SMILE AND WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME HOW ARE YOU???? I SAY GREAT!! THANK YOU HHHHHHHHHHH

I agree we should keep trying new options, it is healthy to stay connected

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Yes indeed MariGolds!

I've joined so many social groups trying to cultivate meaningful friendships, I'm a 65 year old widow with no family and ONE real friend. I've had no luck making new friends and am at the point of just giving up on the effort.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

We all can do what we can. If it hasn't worked out, at least you have tried. Thanks for sharing this wbl!

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

24 күн бұрын

@@wbl5649 hi there, I just came across your post, I m sorry for your loss, I know how hard this is I’m sure you’re partner must have been a wonderful person. Know that all good people are usually called to Gods kingdom for a reason & we R left here for 1 as well! I’m also sure you’re spouse would have’d wanted for U to continue living with a giving heart; even date still cites R out there, church gatherings services, Your only 65 yrs old life has expanded in the world today, u have so much life to offer especially with your life knowledge love & wisdom. You might be able to donate some of your time, with pets, kids(orphanages) in other countries, or even @ childrens Hospitals (reading to them, playing board games with them,your friendship will grow & help these kids tremendously. Friendship woes have nothing to do with luck, friends R made with time,patience & dedication if u like u can start with a 2 friend with me but more than 2 is a headache( too much gossip)🤭🤣some of the most important people in the world today only have 1 true good friend, your lucky, I only have acquaintances! 🫨🤭stay in touch, if u’d like 🦋💕✌️let me know if I have helped in any way, there R still a lot of good people out here 👍Happy 🇺🇸🎆& happy life🦋✌️🦋

@christinetaylor70

22 күн бұрын

its exhausting. And I refuse to mix with racists.

I just moved to a 55+ community. I used my interests to join a couple of groups to meet people. I have found some very warm and welcoming people. Yes you will still find cliques just like high school but don’t limit your interactions with others because of them. Keep putting yourself out there, you won’t get a best buddy every time you say hi; but you just might find a person who is interesting to chat with and that can lead to a good friend.

If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company

@dorothyjohnson6743

13 күн бұрын

Easy to say.

@AtomicWulfric

12 күн бұрын

If you long for other people while alone, then you should look at why you can't be content with yourself

@carmenbarroso5332

8 күн бұрын

​@@AtomicWulfric👍

People are so polarized today, that it makes it doubly hard to make friends as an older person. You mention one thing they dislike and if they are the kind of person who cannot brook one single dissenting opinion, they will cut you off and out. It’s sad because I’m always fascinated by the way people come to their political opinions for instance. I’d never cut someone out of my life because they voted a certain way or because they didn’t take (or took) a vaccination of late…. Sometimes, it really is better to simply be happy with the company you keep- yourself. That being said, various friends of all kinds, are wonderful things to cherish.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

I agree that politics has added to the difficulties with friends and family; too much polarization has had a very negative effect. Thanks for your comment!

@marjoriestclair

23 күн бұрын

@@eldergal Yes, indeed. I so enjoy your channel here. You are doing all of us a great service. I wish we could all go to coffee!

I like how you make us "think." Thank you, sweetie!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for your support Selah!!

Your video about being estranged from your son really touched me. I hope you continue to reach out to him. I've been estranged from my dad for 22 years and I pray everyday that I'll get to see him again

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

I hope so too Kurt! Thanks for sharing and for watching!

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

24 күн бұрын

@@kurt6410 hi there Kurt, your post & Elder Gals estranged from family really got to me too! With so much loneliness going on what could be so bad that a simple apology can’t fix for all of U, wish U guy’s could try to patch up🙏💕for me it’s too late& believe me it’s a daily heartbreak, full of sadness &sorrow my dad dyed😢Best of Hope to patch up👍🦋✌️

@kurt6410

13 күн бұрын

@qso3566 I understand psychology and attachment very well. Children come into this world biologically hard wired to want to attach and have a strong emotional bond with their parents. Parents have to give their children a reason not to love them. And if the emotional connection and attachment doesn't happen it is something the parent has done. Now I'm not saying that makes them bad parents. I think all parents would love to have a strong attachment with their kids, but life is tough and things happen. Raising kids is like a building a home. Even with the best skills and tools you'll have troubles

I wonder if our skills at making friends are modeled after what we saw our parents do. My father had few friends and they were other men he did things with. Whereas my mother's friendship group was wider and consisted of women who shared interests or enjoyed one another's compansionship. That was a different time and, also, we lived in a rural setting where few people moved. Your firend options were pretty much fixed.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Probably we did learn from our parents about friendships. Times were different then and people seemed to have more friends and more socializing. We live in different times...

Thank you, food for thought

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

Absolutely!

I'm in my forties and already in this situation. Most friends married and cut regular contact, others moved to a different state/country or we have grown apart. I have no problems with it now, but fear for the future, as I don't intend to have children and can't see marriage in the near or even distant future.

Great topic Allison! You are so right about health issues making it more difficult to get and keep friends and I have been on both sides of that issue. I have friends with major health concerns that affect how and when we can interact but also found out when I got cancer, that they distanced themselves or just dropped out of my life because it was too much. Fortunately, I am still here 8 years later but much wiser for who is in my closest circle. Have a blessed week..

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Sue and so glad you health improved. Have a blessed week too!

I work with people between the age of 20 to 35 and they are experiencing the same thing. They can't find and maintain friendships.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

I do believe it's a social phenomenon Gladys - a sign of the changing world we live in. Thanks for watching!

I am 65, I am going to go back to rock and roll nights at the club, they have lessons then social dancing with a dj. i love Elvis and sometimes the dj plays Elvis songs. They also have open mic night once a month.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

That sounds like a good time Ruthie - thanks for sharing this!

@ruthie600

21 күн бұрын

Just found out the dancing is cancelled. Just when I was going to go there. Tired of having no friends. It's hard.

I'm sure that you will make friends through your KZread channel, good luck x

I have not had a true friend in 50 years! So lonely. Not even a way to socialize and no family around me, just my husband

@Kathyahedrick3

8 күн бұрын

Thanks elder gal ❤

I struggled with making friends as a child and younger person. I was very quiet and withdrawn. My teen years were difficult and bringing a child up alone meant no money for social activities Result? Social anxiety and gross lack of confidence. I know a few people but they are either busy, working or sick. The suggestion to join groups of similiar interests is good if there are any. I enjoy walking but there are no walking groups in my area. Another difficulty is lack of transport no everyone drives or has events on the doorstep.l have to use public transport and do not relish the though of waiting around on my own in the evening for a bus. As for social isolation for me it is a lack of oppitunities due to the afore mentioned reasons. Its not the same as loneliness but it can lead to being lonely.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

I can understand your frustration in finding what can work for you in your situation Dianne! Do what you can. Take care!

I tend to make and maintain friendships that last for 25-40+ years. My best friend passed away in 2015, and no one can fill that void. Honestly, I don't seek to replace her, (thats not fair to the lovely ppl I meet) 😊.. I am learning to be more "intentional" with staying connected ( not just a text or only call while I'm driving in traffic (hands free 😂).. I meet ppl all the time, I'm 61, some are in their mid- late 70's or mid thirties... I just try to be open-minded, and if I feel "safe".. cool.. no pressure, let's get together. I do enjoy solitude..so.. every now and then, cool. I think I want to know that someone still remembers me, care how I'm doing ( not invisible). ❤🎉 Happy Holiday!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Duena! Sorry you lost your best friend. Appreciate your comment!

Friends and acquaintances, of course are different. I have 2 friends lve known since elementary school back in 1963, and at least 5 people that lve become good friends with, through work, being a neighbor or we became buddies because of mutual interests. I thinks it's easier for men to make friends, although my wife has quite a few friends. it's great for the both of us. l feel having friends creates a better quality of life.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing daleamaral! It sounds as though you are rich in friends!

I would love to see people connect with each other after they find someone here on youtube in their same situation. Maybe a phone call or zoom chat once in a great while? It might be more important than we can imagine for someone who is alone🙂

@ruthie600

21 күн бұрын

how can we make this happen?

@carrie3390

16 күн бұрын

@@ruthie600 Let's brainstorm some ideas! I'll think on this . . .

@ruthie600

15 күн бұрын

@@carrie3390 Hi Carrie, any ideas.? Where are you? I am in Sydney.

@carrie3390

15 күн бұрын

@@ruthie600 I'm in Hawaii

Thank you for charing this message 🙏🙏 From a 63 year women living in Sweden

@eldergal

6 күн бұрын

Thank you Carola for watching from Sweden!

@carolajuntgen6288

6 күн бұрын

@@eldergal it is intressting listen to you! I rescentely was in the Usa. My son with family lives there.

As always, I enjoyed the content of this pod cast, Allison. It would be the most rewarding thing that could ever happen to me to have a friend like you. I wish for your happiness dear lady. Sincerely.

@Selah1141

24 күн бұрын

Wouldn't it be nice to find a friend like this?

@monicaperez2843

24 күн бұрын

@@claudesmith9422 I live in a senior apartment complex. I make no friends there but I am kind and civil to everyone. I don't participate in activities in the recreation room due to all the bullying. My friends are in other states and I visit them every three months. Also, I invite them to visit me and put them up in a nearby hotel. Also, I have many friends overseas. Foreigners see friendship differently than Americans.

@claudesmith9422

24 күн бұрын

@@Selah1141 YES

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much Claude - you're always so supportive!

I'm new as in haven't even had a chance to watch full video. The partial one I did see, I find you and I are alot alike in our situations. Though my own fault on a bunch of it. Mine keep in contact but it's verry stand off? I'm now in my 60s and my husband in 70s and his don't have anything to do with either of us. So a bunch of the topics your covering seems to be of big interest to me. Thank you for doing these and I will grab some time to watch

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Appreciate your comment Lady-bug! So glad you found the channel. Take care!

a zero dollar production that outweighs many million dollar productions in actual message . ❤

@eldergal

21 күн бұрын

That means a lot - thanks Jeri!

Thanks for summing it up. I couldn't have done it any better. I feel the same way. Yes, friendship has to be a two-way street, give and take. It is hard to find that when you are older. I am 74, don't feel my age, absolutely not. I am very thankful for that.

I was putting in a lot of effort in trying to meet other women in my area, but I wasn’t successful. Then I became seriously ill 3 months ago. It was so unexpected! Dealing with failing health alone is terrifying. I started looking at Independent (retirement) living last week. I think I would be able to make friends in a retirement community. It’s hard to think about selling all my stuff and my home. Unfortunately, I continue to deteriorate and I may be forced to do this in a few months. Can you believe I’m still in my 50’s. I hope others watching your videos take your advice to heart while they are still healthy and able to contribute to a friendship.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Really appreciate you sharing your experience here snowboard! Glad you have a plan for what you can do. Hope things improve for you. Take care!

Dusk on a summer evening is my favorite time too! Thank you for this well-done analysis! Good point about as you age you become more discerning in relationships, and friendships. I have recently joined a senior citizen belly dancing group - the Senioritas - and I am having a blast with this group of ladies.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

That's great that you found the belly dancing group! Thanks for sharing this familyolson!

Thanks for being there Alison!! 😊 ❤

@eldergal

16 күн бұрын

You too Cathy!

I thought I was alone in this situation of being alone. I am not sad at being alone, but vulnerable not having anyone in my life to care about me. This leads me to thinking catastrophe a lot. So it's all up to me. I'm a heavy load. The pain in my legs makes me tired and works against me but I think it's even more than that that I don't have the energy to find new experiences. I think there are many reasons why I'm resisting being more zippy when it comes to life in general. Maybe my baggage is too much for me right now. I'll just say it's temporary to make myself feel better. Thanks for working through some of the ideas of what things affect older people. On youtube I have not come across this in general anxiety or depression videos.

@eldergal

19 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing heaven! Sorry you have challenges right now. Hope things improve for you. Appreciate you watching!

TV, social media, and the internet in general have turned a lot of people into self-centered, narcissistic zombies. Forming strong friendships is hard at any age, especially these days. Most people are not emotionally available enough to cultivate solid, lasting friendships. The world has become much too fast and superficial for that.

@eldergal

2 күн бұрын

You may be right to some degree caspianblue! Thanks for your comment!

Like many others here, I'm a loner, an only child. I was mainly left to my own devices. I've always felt a bit different from others. That being said I think I am or was, at the same time quite gregarious. I left my childhood/school friends behind when I emigrated in 1972. I then made friends at work as a nurse and some I found out weren't my true friends, but I had a few that I kept for 30 years, we socialized a bit, went through lots of life stuff together. I think we were close, but they all died the last 4 years. I've joined groups in the past, but honestly it's not my thing. I live on a street that is (it seems) filled with people like me! We nod to each other, and that's about it... which is fine with me. It's possibly a vibrational thing, birds of a feather flock together but not in a social way. I don't want a friend at the moment, but one day down the road I might be ready. It would have to be a special person, a 5D kind of person, who understands boundaries, and is a frequency match for me. If anyone understands that? I'm doing some inner healing work, and have needed this time alone as I've spent my life being there for others one way or another. It's very nice to just do what you want to do, when you want to do it!

@redwarrior2424

19 күн бұрын

I love Brit TV too!

@LuvBritTV

18 күн бұрын

@@redwarrior2424 yes… great isn’t it?! I don’t have regular tv, stream Brit shows instead!

Hi Allison. So true. I find having enough time in the day can be tricky, trying to balance it between all the different categories of friends and family. It's no good becoming overwhelmed.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Yes, it's all about balance weirdfish, that's for sure!

Very good points. You give us a lot to ponder over and perhaps make changes in our behavior. Or rethink our expectations. I like the term "friend lite"!

@monicaperez2843

24 күн бұрын

@@kimr3755 Kim, I break it down to light acquaintance, acquaintance, good acquaintance, casual friend, good friend and best friend.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks kimr! That term "friend lite" just popped into my head, but it does seem to describe a certain type of friend. Appreciate you watching!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

The casual friend would probably be a friend-lite! Thanks!

I really enjoy your videos, you’re such a relatable woman. It’s amazing how similar people are to one another. I too lost contact with friends I grew up with or from school later in life; we’ve moved to different geographical locations. By nature I’m a loner and enjoy being alone, but not all the time. You’re actually a friend to those of us who follow you!☺️

@eldergal

11 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for your kind words inquisitive! So glad you found the channel!

I attend church and got busy with other singles at the age of 66. Being around others who understand me and just give them the love.

Between caring for and then, losing my parents within 15 months of each other has made it more difficult to be social for me. I don't know where I belong anymore. As Activities Assistant at an assisted living facility, I began to build relationships and make friends with some of the residents, but then was "let go" just before the 90 day period ended, because they were making budget cuts. I needed the income, but was more upset that I wouldn't have that daily connection with the residents. I have been back once since I left, but I couldn't stay as long as I wanted. It's still hard to go back.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Jennifer! So sorry you weren't able to continue at that job - you sound like a natural in working with senior citizens. Hope you can find something similar.

Older peps are more set in their ways. Jusy my 2cents.

Making friends over 60 was easy after my wife past away. I was 68 at the time. Now at 81 all of the post 60 friends have also past away. One sad fact is all relationships are based on each person thinking they are getting more out of the effort than the other person. You do not have much to offer a person over 80.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Craig. I would say that as long as someone still has their cognitive abilities, they do have something significant to offer after 80. Of course, if someone has dementia, it can be difficult.

My interest in making new friends over 60 is challenged by the fact that we all have extensive relationship histories that potential new friends are just not a part of. Young people are like a blank page ready to be written upon. As we grow older those accumulating pages get filled with people, children, grandchildren, divorces, deaths, betrayals and all kinds of baggage becoming more and more complex and difficult to deal with. We become set in our ways and very particular about who we associate with. I have a romantic interest in a lady in her seventies, and feel keenly that I am ‘late to the party’ with her because of all the life we have both lived prior to our meeting.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Will! There are so many things that do challenge friendships/relationships as we get older. We are no longer that blank page, which is both good and bad. Take care!

@sarahgerman8593

21 күн бұрын

But the party is still going, so there is time for a nightcap. Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

@willcoleman2014

20 күн бұрын

@@sarahgerman8593 being there doing that 😉

You are very welcome. In case you have any doubts, making a new friend will never be a problem for you, Allison. You could walk out the door today and speak two short sentences to anyone and they would become your friend. It is a gift of yours. Trust me on that. They would have little choice in the matter. So, please be of good cheer. Also, much Gratitude and Respect to both you and your Dad on this 4th of July holiday. My heart goes with you this day. Take care, Allison.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Happy July 4th to you as well John! Thanks again for the kind words. See you in the livestream Saturday!

@John-rw2zf

23 күн бұрын

@eldergal Likewise, Allison. Thank you. My pleasure always. You are also pretty strong in the Kind Words Dept. I always appreciate it. Enjoy the rest of your day. Take care, Allison.

I am 35 years old. and it’s hard trying to keep in touch with friends as they transitioning into life such as marriage, starting families, traveling, moving and new careers. Alot of content creaters I see around my age mostly says “You/I don’t need friends.” seems to have been speaking from trauma they’ve been through in life with past friendships. It makes you think when trying to make new friends as adults even harder. my thoughts “I like this person but He/She probably don’t wanna make new friends.” or “They already have established friendships.” or “I’m not good enough to be their friend.”

@eldergal

17 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Keith! It is more complicated now than it was 30 or 40 years ago. Lots more issues related to making friends now. Appreciate you watching!

I love your voice. For some reason it’s very comforting to me. You have a nice flow when speaking. Ur intelligence shines through ❤

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

So kind Contessa - thanks so much!

Allison, I only want to be friends with older people but not really sure where to meet them or how! I don’t like people my age, they are so disrespectful and uncaring. Do you have any advice?

@Teffi_Club

24 күн бұрын

Book club at the library, volunteering for Meals on Wheels, etc

@quackityquack1

24 күн бұрын

@@Teffi_Clubthank you so much 😊

@kimr3755

24 күн бұрын

If there is a senior center in your area that may be a good place to find people.

@quackityquack1

24 күн бұрын

@@kimr3755i actually used to volunteer at a retirement home 🥰 the people there were very kind however i have become disabled since then so it’s very hard.

@PeaceJourney...

24 күн бұрын

Take up a hobby that elders enjoy, fishing, camping, bird watching club etc

This is really an excellent video on types of friendships and how it changes over time. I really love your channel ❤

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks so much Kate! Appreciate your support!

I had two heartattacks, husband died all friends died r very unhealthy and i started gig work to get out of I'm 72 and go thru alot of pain

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

So sorry you have gone through so much pain Linda - hope things improve!

You are so much on point!

Lots of great advice and suggestions. Thank you!

How about adult only educational cruises?

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Good suggestion Monica (at least for those that could afford it). Thanks for your input!

Hi Allison. Going to your channel is teaching me to listen. The advices you share are good reminders. Thank you

@eldergal

9 күн бұрын

So very kind of you KeepFocus! Thank you!

A great discussion on making friends ❤ Great tidbits of what not to do and what is beneficial in making new friends. Thank you 😊

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Appreciate your comment Cheryl - thanks for watching!

Thanks for the tips!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks for watching Patti!

I find this very helpful and you seem like such a pleasant person. Subbed!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much magigurl!

❤love your vlogs…… my one and only friend is my cousin and my dog. I’ve always have had trust issues… and nowadays even more so. Hope you have a wonderful fourth… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks Lu - take care!

I met my best friend at Walmart! She's a wonderful person! I got lucky!!!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

That's wonderful - thanks for sharing that Mary!

Hello Allison.That was a really great video you put together today on friendship. You gave people a lot of good advice to consider. You have been graced with much wisdom to share in this life. Take care, Allison. You are flying pretty close to the ground today.

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much John for your kind words! Always appreciated!

Thank you for this. 🍃🌸🍃

@eldergal

3 күн бұрын

Thanks for watching Kathy!

Hello Alisson, I hoppe you have a beautiful and blessed day!! Thanks for your videos, that help me to be open mind and learn about many important topics.❤❤❤

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words and for watching Carmen!

I’m 61 and always been a very social person, I had many friends in my younger years. Now everything has changed, people pass away people move away.i find it difficult to find people my age to make Friends with .I do volunteer, but mostly it’s with much younger people. I do have acquaintances but no one to do things with. I have no idea where the people my age are.I am lonely

@eldergal

20 күн бұрын

I hear you Gina! I discussed this more in my livestream yesterday . Perhaps you could find someone younger to do things with sometimes. Thanks for watching!

@ginah8023

20 күн бұрын

​@eldergal I do have younger acquaintances. I've tried invites to do things, they have no interest. I completely understand why someone in their 20s wouldn't want to do things with someone 61.

You will always be ok because of your sense of humor ❤

@eldergal

17 күн бұрын

Thanks leerod! It's always been a great asset to look at things with humor!

@eldergal

17 күн бұрын

Thanks leerod! It's always been a great asset to look at things with humor!

I'm so happy to have found your channel ❤

@eldergal

21 күн бұрын

So glad you found it too luvmycountry! Thanks for watching!

Thanks for the good advice!👍 Have a safe and happy fourth of July!🇺🇸

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks purpleviolet! You Too!

You are looking so much better all your puffiness went away god bless you, you keep me company, and I feel more emotionally maturing listening to you.😊

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks much drai!

@raycortopassi4030

15 күн бұрын

Elder Gal, you sound like you’d be a great friend. Thank you for addressing the this topic. By the way, I am a female but using my late husband email for internet stuff.

Thank you very encouraging Video

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for watching!

I love your wisdom! 💖

@eldergal

21 күн бұрын

Thanks so much Frank!

Love your work Allison 🤩

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks so much MariGolds!

Thanks!

@eldergal

24 күн бұрын

Many thanks to you Selah!!😊💜

Great listening to this. Definitely gave me something to think about. Friends???? 🤔 Thank you, happy 4th 🎉

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

Thanks for watching sattooh!

I don't have anyone i would call.

We are not alone in being alone 😂

@eldergal

17 күн бұрын

How true Pete! Thanks for watching!