How to Get in Touch With Your Feelings... and Why It Matters

How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss?
Enjoying our KZread videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/sWea7
Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/YD6YI
The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: t.ly/xP3EL
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/3zoYsrz
“The idea that we might - as the expression has it - ‘lose touch with our feelings’ is, when we reflect on it, a highly paradoxical one. How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss? It seems we’re built in such a way that an understanding of much of what our minds and bodies go through is in no way automatic; it is mediated via the acceptance and understanding of other people. We know well enough about some things: if, for example, there were to be a gaping wound in our leg, or we hadn’t drunk anything for three days, we would know the truth soon enough. But many of our sensations are like bells that have no solid wire back to consciousness; they ring at a peculiar frequency that isn’t picked up by our minds when these have been attuned incorrectly…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLself
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
X: / theschooloflife
Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Alexandra Balan
www.sashaanimates.com/about-1
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Vale Productions
www.valeproductions.co.uk/

Пікірлер: 204

  • @pancholopezpaz
    @pancholopezpaz2 жыл бұрын

    In therapy I learn to feel, it is one of the first things we did from the beginning of my psychotherapy journey. I was out of touch with my needs and feelings and suffered a nasty burn-out at work. Now I am getting better at noticing what I feel and also at communicating it. It is a long journey

  • @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    2 жыл бұрын

    Have a good trip.

  • @tonysnow5461

    @tonysnow5461

    2 жыл бұрын

    It's all in the mind my friend. Your mind! The one that You control

  • @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@tonysnow5461 The one that controls you?

  • @v-buckschan111

    @v-buckschan111

    2 жыл бұрын

    Idk much about therapy to other people , but to me it seems like no matter what or when , I’ll regress back to square one It isn’t that “therapy doesn’t work” , but more of a subjective realistic lens to the world , more of like a chronic disappointment of reality , a mundane outlook to the world , an un-contradictable helplessness Any tips?

  • @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    @languagefreeassangeteacher5338

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@v-buckschan111 There are many forms of therapy. Some people follow Victor Frankl´s approach, solving life problems by finding a meaning in one´s life. Learning to meditate, practicing yoga are forms of therapy. Stoic philosophy can be therapy. But it seems to me that the stoicians overemphasize the power of thought. Accepting harsh realities of life is necessary to grow even if we don´t like it. Good luck.

  • @happily_a_mama
    @happily_a_mama2 жыл бұрын

    "We listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us" couldn't be more true.

  • @markmuller7962
    @markmuller79622 жыл бұрын

    "How to make new friends as an adult", I really need a video like that 😭

  • @vivekamar99

    @vivekamar99

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same here!

  • @instamdgram

    @instamdgram

    2 жыл бұрын

    Just believe you can, and you'll! If you wish to connect--- just send a message.

  • @angryface01

    @angryface01

    2 жыл бұрын

    “How to find other people who actually want to grow and build the life they want so we all can learn from each other, support each other, and build a community”

  • @Fromtheforgottengardens
    @Fromtheforgottengardens2 жыл бұрын

    I was grown up learning not to show any vulnerability or emotions as my mom said it was weakness( good intentions from her part) but it made me closed off from world. And this now in my late 20's I have hard time falling in love with anyone.

  • @assistantto007

    @assistantto007

    2 жыл бұрын

    Try not to stress too much about it, you have the rest of your life to experiment with yourself - in the hope you'll find contentment. You won't find a successful relationship until you know what love is, and you need to learn to love yourself before you have a chance of loving someone else .

  • @assistantto007

    @assistantto007

    2 жыл бұрын

    Slowly slowly catchy monkey. What's the rush? A deep and meaningful relationship later in life is preferable to lots of heartbreak in your younger years. Know yourself first.

  • @modern-simplicity

    @modern-simplicity

    2 жыл бұрын

    The five love languages - Gary Chapman is a useful book lots on you tube too - good luck 🤞 👍🙏🦋

  • @modern-simplicity

    @modern-simplicity

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Nailing My Secretary sounds like a real ‘existential’ response...

  • @philoslother4602

    @philoslother4602

    2 жыл бұрын

    You are Russian, I guess

  • @avidhossanmansur9830
    @avidhossanmansur98302 жыл бұрын

    I have struggled for a long time to draw a line between selfishness and self-awareness. And the solution was very simple, actually. When you are aware of you're needs you're self-aware (no pun intended) but when you care only about your needs and personal satisfaction while harming others that is selfishness. It's always important to put your needs first and then of course think of others. Because you can't help anyone if you yourself are in trouble or suffering. How will a doctor perform a life-saving surgery if he himself is in need of life-saving surgery! Funny huh. The mistake I made was turning myself into a doormat to please others because I didn't want to come across as selfish. Don't make the same mistake I did respect yourself first and then respect others.

  • @adrianortiz8751

    @adrianortiz8751

    2 жыл бұрын

    Excellent way to order priorities: one's needs first, others (needs etc) then one's indulgences last!

  • @bengeurden1272

    @bengeurden1272

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ratio is more important than feeling.

  • @rituraj3088

    @rituraj3088

    2 жыл бұрын

    I अ understand your views more than this video❤️

  • @Zenigma217

    @Zenigma217

    2 жыл бұрын

    Being selfish does not have to be harmful to others. It’s just setting boundaries so we are taking care of ourselves, by ourselves! I’m always helping others and can’t say ‘no’. That leads to being taken as a door mat by some! Now I set boundaries without feeling guilty or feeling selfish. If taking care of my needs is considered being selfish, then so be it! No one is going to take care of me! In order to be “response-able” for others, I need to be “able to respond” to myself first! Just like on a plane they tell you to put your breathing device on first before you help others put theirs on! Learned late in life but it’s quite freeing to set the boundaries! Try it!

  • @WombatCombat31

    @WombatCombat31

    2 жыл бұрын

    This is me to a tee, thanks for putting what I feel into words! Haha

  • @SK-lj1ql
    @SK-lj1ql Жыл бұрын

    Listening to our inner child without naming, rationalizing, judging the feelings is an important step in reparenting ourselves

  • @aarondiaz_14
    @aarondiaz_142 жыл бұрын

    This is very true. I'm often not aware of how a specific event made me feel unless I hear another person that went trough a similar thing talk about how it made them feel.

  • @cinnamony386

    @cinnamony386

    2 жыл бұрын

    I can relate a lot to your comment

  • @42BETWO

    @42BETWO

    2 жыл бұрын

    Support groups are good for this.

  • @minilamma4879

    @minilamma4879

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too. I have learnt how to feel a lot from other people

  • @lorraine70

    @lorraine70

    27 күн бұрын

    Same here I just don't have the emotional intelligence

  • @Nokss87
    @Nokss872 жыл бұрын

    I literally ask myself "how do I feel?" Whenever I remember to and it's helped me to be able to process situations internally.

  • @orsolalelli8593

    @orsolalelli8593

    2 жыл бұрын

    Great suggestion, thank you

  • @Nokss87

    @Nokss87

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@orsolalelli8593 🤗

  • @gem0.079

    @gem0.079

    Жыл бұрын

    Late reply, but i have been sturggling with confusing feelings and many other stuff, and this "how do i feel" really helped me, can you guve me some more suggestions?

  • @lunamoon7831
    @lunamoon7831 Жыл бұрын

    I am currently becoming a therapist and this video really makes me feel like I can change something and help people just by listening to them and understanding them💜

  • @shinigami956
    @shinigami9562 жыл бұрын

    I struggle to say what I feel because when I do, people call me victimised and now I don't know if I am or not.

  • @sperez3275
    @sperez3275 Жыл бұрын

    Knowing how to care for ourselves, depends on having been cared for by others. We listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us.

  • @kiwiseatpumpkinpie1709
    @kiwiseatpumpkinpie17092 жыл бұрын

    Nowadays whenever I get high my mind kind of splits off to conscious me and “subconscious” me. We don’t really talk talk to each other but I do understand what moments in our lives meant so much to us. Which gets surface level me super emotional

  • @gwho
    @gwho Жыл бұрын

    corollary: in parenting, you should pay attention to and acknowledge your child's feelings and verbalize them back to your child, with an attitude of understanding and "it's ok".

  • @waldowallenda4298
    @waldowallenda42982 жыл бұрын

    It's a matter of paying attention to the thoughts attached to feelings. You can't have one without the other.

  • @mrScififan2
    @mrScififan22 жыл бұрын

    This makes so much sense! I honestly have been so frustrated and disappointed by stuff that I NUMB MYSELF! LOL!

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove2 жыл бұрын

    It's so important that we take care of our own needs without sacrificing our well-being to satisfy and please others. When you can, take breaks if need to, meditate, take a walk and be kind to yourself for the practice of self-care. Do whatever makes you feel that inner peace and calmness that's needed for your mental health and overall well-being. 💙KZreadr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

  • @fumetsu4323

    @fumetsu4323

    2 жыл бұрын

    kzread.info/dash/bejne/l56VrNaOhamXoZM.html

  • @natalieraulo9773

    @natalieraulo9773

    2 жыл бұрын

    V true 👌

  • @j.goethe4980
    @j.goethe49802 жыл бұрын

    But how to get in touch with your feelings and know what to do about them?

  • @claudiobochatay3408
    @claudiobochatay34082 жыл бұрын

    Loved it. Thank you. I needed so much to hear about this.

  • @kartikg9970
    @kartikg99702 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much TSOL for this amazing video.

  • @jenndaizy
    @jenndaizy Жыл бұрын

    "Knowing how to care for ourselves depends on having been cared for by others." This makes me feel sad especially coming from a place where no one ever asked about how I feel, there is zero communication, and high level of expectations.

  • @a.b.2850
    @a.b.28502 жыл бұрын

    This is excellent, and beautiful to watch. I’m a bit speechless.

  • @slk1451
    @slk14512 жыл бұрын

    I’m learning how to be a content person with your videos. Thank you

  • @aquickstory2196
    @aquickstory21962 жыл бұрын

    well said. and love needs the self first as we get older.

  • @elwoko5850
    @elwoko585010 ай бұрын

    Most of the time when I watch these videos, it takes a lot of effort and thought to comprehend the ideas and concepts that are shared, most of the time I don't really understand and it can be immensely difficult for me to wrap my head around what's being said. Now that's not a problem with the video, it feels more to me like when there's something difficult to accept or comprehend regarding my own or another's feelings, my brain tends to shut down or close up as if it doesn't want to hear or understand what's being said, as if a thick fog forms and clouds my eyes, ears and my heart, afterwards I feel stumped and empty like I can't seem to learn anything no matter how many videos I watch trying to understand my own and other's feelings. After watching some videos, and taking some notes, I tend to still find myself not actually knowing what to do or how to act out on the advice and knowledge that's been given to me (it is quite difficult to get a therapist in the area where I live). Reading the comments for some reason made me feel a little bit more "in touch" with my feelings and for once I felt like I actually somewhat started understanding some of my inner problems, I feel this so rarely that I felt like I had to share or i would forget again. Thank for making this video, i get discouraged very easily and often have to force myself to do certain things I guess out of desperation to progress both in my own life and in my inner conflicts. Thank you for making this video, I feel more at ease knowing that maybe it's not so complicated after all and reading the comments made me feel not so alone c:

  • @nancyaustin9516
    @nancyaustin95162 жыл бұрын

    I work with a therapist who does both individual and group sessions, and part of his explanation of the power of group is that since it is in relation to other people (like parents) that we develop the problems that bring us to therapy, it is only in a relationship with others that we'll eventually resolve those problems. And I'm one of those people who always had difficulties knowing what I was feeling--especially anger. (My parents told us kids that angry children were bad children. Throughout my childhood I watched my alcoholic dad raging about stuff constantly--yelling and screaming, acting like a crazy person. I wanted nothing to do with anger, ever again for the rest of my life. I was terrified of confrontation, or even having an opinion that someone could label "wrong.") When you want to start recognizing your emotions, it takes a long time--or at least that was the case for me. In group, someone might ask me what I was feeling, and I would sincerely sit there and try to work it out, but I'd end up saying, "I don't know" or "I don't feel anything." Or I wouldn't be able to identify anything in the moment, but later--after I'd gone home--watch out! Then I'd be an emotional mess. After years of this, I'm finally to the point where I can usually name the emotion(s) I'm having, and the emotional tidal waves are mostly a thing of the past. All the best to those of you who are dealing with similar issues--hang in there!

  • @yandelgonzalez5929

    @yandelgonzalez5929

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hi. I'm kinda dealing with the same thing. As a kid I was afraid because I had a lot of anger and also felt different around my siblings and family and I remember my mom telling me that if I keep like that when I grow up I wouldn't be a good person, so I kinda was afraid of myself(I still am) and I don't know what to do, I'm feeling fucking lost. I can't even ask my mom to go to a therapist because she ask me why or tell me that a therapist is for crazy people( I'm not saying that I am crazy) but I just want somebody to listen to me, just to see if that helps. So I hope you read me and have I good day!

  • @yandelgonzalez5929

    @yandelgonzalez5929

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh and also, I just want to help people, but everytime a situation happens, I hesitate, because I'm afraid that if a show my feelings, people will hurt me again. Im feeling emotionless right now and I hate that

  • @yandelgonzalez5929

    @yandelgonzalez5929

    2 жыл бұрын

    ...and honestly I don't feel love...

  • @yandelgonzalez5929

    @yandelgonzalez5929

    2 жыл бұрын

    I'm not saying that, I blame my mom, because I don't. I'm now realizing that my mom go through the same when she was a child and then she grow up became my mom and the cicle repeated. I don't hate her and I don't blame her either.

  • @Leo-mr1qz
    @Leo-mr1qz2 жыл бұрын

    Finding compassion for ourselves is a difficult task when you were brought up in a toxic home. Although, it is achievable, it just takes conscious effort. 😇

  • @timelord153
    @timelord1532 жыл бұрын

    That was beautiful, but I believe you could have drawn attention to self-love here aswell. Some people often cannot identify their emotions despite being surrounded by loved ones because they don't truly understand what their feelings are. Learning to recognise your own feelings, especially in a time where you are alone, is a crucial life skill that opens up many degrees of freedom. A vital life lesson is that feelings are to be read and appreciated, as a subconcious guide to what our bodies and minds really want. Too often people try to force one feeling to be recognised as another and often repress true emotion in favour of desirable responses.

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much for this amazing video, as always. I'm trying to journal all my thoughts and emotions, and not to get too bogged down by pressure and stress.

  • @brainself7788
    @brainself77882 жыл бұрын

    Nice content, getting inspiration from u for my videos!! Thanks a lot 👍

  • @chrissekueh7247
    @chrissekueh72472 жыл бұрын

    I love that there is a transcript to follow along, as this resource is such amazing sustenance for my heart and mind having grown up in a household that was emotionally void and mute. Thanks for that !

  • @gailaltschwager7377
    @gailaltschwager73772 жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @mirelgoi7855
    @mirelgoi78552 жыл бұрын

    "These are the two aspects of mind within you. There is your personal side, which contains all of your beliefs, assumptions, demands, requirements, feelings, fears and wishes and so forth. Then there is your Knowledge, which you have brought with you from beyond, and which is still, concentrated and cannot be defiled. It is hidden within you until you have developed enough for it to emerge." From an exellent (free online) book, Wisdom from the Greater Community Book I, Chapter 26: Stillness.

  • @thusodikgole977

    @thusodikgole977

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @johnchapman5125

    @johnchapman5125

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you, Mirel.

  • @Paintopia_VR
    @Paintopia_VR2 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful...

  • @natalieraulo9773
    @natalieraulo97732 жыл бұрын

    soo soothing ..✨ Th🙏nku dear Alain. We love u v much. And have helped grow us up, the parts that r still young small vulnerable sides of our adult selves. ♡ from Natalie 🌈..x

  • @anonymousyt5289
    @anonymousyt52892 жыл бұрын

    In order to be loveable , one has to be loved. - Beauty and the beast

  • @krishnayedage4209
    @krishnayedage42092 жыл бұрын

    Thank You,

  • @Psyche_Sapiens
    @Psyche_Sapiens2 жыл бұрын

    This is great

  • @paigemuse
    @paigemuse2 жыл бұрын

    I don't know when did I started to contradict my feelings. Even before the pandemic happened, I don't seek help from anyone to help me in my hardest challenges I faced and still facing. I don't feel like saying anything to them because they won't understand. For me, there's a reality existing that they just don't care about me. They're just here because they need me to help them in school matters, don't misunderstood, I feel happy to help and I'm glad to know that they seek help from me...but sometimes, I can't help to feel so drained. I can't show my weakness to them. So what I did was to be there. Just there. Telling my real feelings about them will just make me look dramatic. I know they will react, I've saw them judge people. When I got surgery two months ago, I told them I can't help them still. I can't show my real feelings when they started asking for help again. While my other activities in school hasn't even been touch. I was expecting for their offer to help, but I guess that was stupid thing to do. Maybe I should've expect nothing. They won't understand me, so will I. I don't know. Maybe they're suffering too. But I will always suffer in silence. So I always contradict what I really feel.

  • @ericrodriguez8023

    @ericrodriguez8023

    2 жыл бұрын

    Everybody suffers and most of us do it in silence because we were taught no to show any signs of vulnerability. But we ARE vulnerable and most people will understand you if you tell them how you feel, just like you would if it was the opposite. If you are not ok with those relationships now, you need to do something about it because basic caring is the least we can expect from people around us. I recommend you to try being more open about it, little by little. If you never try, you'll never know ;)

  • @kreddish8375

    @kreddish8375

    2 жыл бұрын

    i get that very much. i have nothing to add except saying that im going through the same. keep your heads up, we're gonna get through this, one way or another

  • @yamini8633
    @yamini86332 жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @NVNArk
    @NVNArk2 жыл бұрын

    Good share indeed. This is great channel. thank you for sharing, I wish you a lot of success with the channel and happy life :)

  • @sankalparora9374
    @sankalparora9374 Жыл бұрын

    Very profound

  • @nizasiamehenry
    @nizasiamehenry2 жыл бұрын

    Thankyou tsol

  • @TeKeyaKrystal
    @TeKeyaKrystal2 жыл бұрын

    wild i wrote about this yesterday on my blog not even having seen this video yesterday

  • @imacverde3260
    @imacverde32602 жыл бұрын

    Excelent channel

  • @Dm-ni7ti
    @Dm-ni7ti2 жыл бұрын

    So you need the love of another to get in touch with your feelings? This didn't really teach me how to get in touch with my emotions as advertised. just me?

  • @bengeurden1272
    @bengeurden12722 жыл бұрын

    Ratio is more important than feeling.

  • @DaBlondDude
    @DaBlondDude2 жыл бұрын

    That doesn't really answer the question in any pertinent/applicable way 🤔

  • @MrGuggisberg
    @MrGuggisberg2 жыл бұрын

    Feelings are basic and secondary to life.

  • @dmtdreamz7706
    @dmtdreamz7706 Жыл бұрын

    On really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion.

  • @bemindfulmuslimah
    @bemindfulmuslimah2 жыл бұрын

    Reparenting ourselves

  • @angryface01
    @angryface012 жыл бұрын

    What if what I actually need is for my feels to leave me the heck alone. Too many feels. Currently drowning in feels. Can you cover “How to quiet the FEELS so you can heal some stuff”?

  • @CaseysTravels

    @CaseysTravels

    2 жыл бұрын

    Maybe the only way is through

  • @Keimeri803
    @Keimeri8036 ай бұрын

    Feelings are beutifull and really importan, praise your feelings get know To them. Be complete not half.

  • @m2pozad
    @m2pozad2 жыл бұрын

    Interesting use of POC-toon

  • @ajsomebody1342
    @ajsomebody13422 жыл бұрын

    "we listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us"

  • @aisforapple2494
    @aisforapple24942 жыл бұрын

    Oh, I'm in touch with my feelings, but the only ones that still survive inside are disgust, rage, and apathy.

  • @PeterParker-ff7ub
    @PeterParker-ff7ub9 ай бұрын

    I like someone I cant even smile back at and she stopped.

  • @honeybee2919
    @honeybee29192 жыл бұрын

    I swear i was searching for school of life videos on EXACTLY this subject last night, and then.....

  • @a.m.215
    @a.m.215 Жыл бұрын

    Nice video, but it didn't say much about "HOW", as the title mentions. Any suggestions for the HOW part?

  • @yahyaelghandour9855
    @yahyaelghandour98552 жыл бұрын

    Please make videos about Abu Hamid Al-Ghazzali, Ibn Rushd, Ibn Hazm, Ibn Tufail, as well as Fakhr Al-Din Al-Razi and friends They are fascinating!

  • @rayadas9107
    @rayadas91072 жыл бұрын

    I've been following the school of life for more than a year and how it deals with the questions and dilemma we face. There is certain clarity it provides. I was hoping for a video on "keep going" "consistancy" "determination". I feel like with time we are losing our attention span (30 s videos) something to inspire for pursuing something the old school way.

  • @neostoic19
    @neostoic19 Жыл бұрын

    Knowing your feelings is Good. But taking actions based on it is Harmful.

  • @user-vp5rd1kp8x
    @user-vp5rd1kp8x2 жыл бұрын

    Hello 👋. I am a middle school student in Korea. And I want to ask you something :) I want to make my UCC like you made it. But I don't know what to do. Then, if you have time, could you tell me how to make a video like this? I want to know how you can make this video, what apps you use, and how long it usually takes to make a table. I really want you to return the answer. Because this is directly related to my grades. Please. Thank you:)

  • @cactus000000
    @cactus0000002 жыл бұрын

    She's really good, but I'm starting to miss Allain's narration

  • @-BerryFM-
    @-BerryFM-2 жыл бұрын

    Damn, after seeing this video ive realized just how messed up I am😅

  • @kreddish8375
    @kreddish83752 жыл бұрын

    i waited for someone to say this and understand this. yknow it just hit me when i first read the title and watched the video. i need a lot of healing, and a lot of love. and i hope i will find that, if anything, inside me because i believe there is not someone for me who has the capacity to understand that or help me in ways that would actually help me. lots of love for everyone who is dealing with this and finds themselves in this situation

  • @vanshikathakur
    @vanshikathakur Жыл бұрын

    💗

  • @danthesquirrel
    @danthesquirrel11 ай бұрын

    Martin Seligman spent decades of his life torturing animals to death. He found that when a dog in a locked cage was given painful electrical shocks and there was nowhere to run and nobody cared about their suffering that eventually they stopped screaming or crying and would just lay down through the torture until they died. When other dogs had the cage door opened they wouldn't walk away when the shocks resumed and only after being repeatedly dragged out of the cage would they stagger out on their own. If pain or sadness or suffering elicits no response whatsoever from those around you except for the occasional person who lashes out at you for it then eventually a human can be conditioned to the point where they can't cry or scream or express their suffering. But they are still aware and still feel it, they just can't do anything about it.

  • @fillipe4700
    @fillipe47002 жыл бұрын

    I don't know and when I wanna know it hurts, but I know something is off but I'm not too sure. I can't be sad, stressed, and even loved because I did nothing. How can I be sad if I have a home? How can I be stressed if I have food? How can I be loved if I have nothing to offer? As my parents say... I don't know. I don't know what I feel, if those feeling are right and if I should feel them and maybe overcome some of them.

  • @suchithosecan7564
    @suchithosecan75647 ай бұрын

  • @fillipe4700
    @fillipe47002 жыл бұрын

    I don't know and when I wanna know it hurts, but I know something is off but I'm not too sure. I can't be sad, stressed, and even loved because I did nothing. How can I be sad if I have a home? How can I be stressed if I have food? How can I be loved if I have nothing to offer? As my parents say... I don't know. I don't know what I feel, if those feeling are right and if I should feel them and maybe overcome some of them. For about a year and a half, the main feeling is hopeless and helpless, I gave up on trying to be something, gave up on my friends because I'm not good enough for myself imagine for them?

  • @natalieraulo9773
    @natalieraulo97732 жыл бұрын

    ❤🙏❤

  • @ya__basic
    @ya__basic2 жыл бұрын

    Lack of self-awareness led me to believe and live a life where my needs to me were not important, including my feelings. The eye-opener was recently when a guy that I’d been casually friends with moved to another country suddenly. Being so detached from my feelings, I never acknowledged his previous advances. And when I did acknowledge and did something about it, it was too late. It’s been a buttfucking painparade of anxiety and cluelessness since. I regret. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I knew better. I wish I was connected to myself more. It took the universe to move him to another country for me to realize I’ve liked him deeply too much that I was too scared to do anything about it. My futile attempts of keeping it superficial and casual would backfire and hurt me horribly was something I never imagined. This experience has revealed that the stranger I need to know first is me.

  • @arelleramos5447
    @arelleramos54472 жыл бұрын

    💗💛💙

  • @amandaforrester7636
    @amandaforrester7636 Жыл бұрын

    I don't understand why everyone wants to get in touch with their feelings. Mine are OVERWHELMING. If I could shut them down like normal people do, I would.

  • @hawleygriffin1800
    @hawleygriffin18002 жыл бұрын

    These videos are explanatory but there's no help here. The neural connections in our brains get wired to deal with our environment. Those of us who grew up neglected and shamed, had our neural connections to expect love and support chemically "starved." The behaviors we needed to survive our bereft environment, got the chemistry they needed to fire automatically making them neural superhighways and default behaviors. The neural connections that "securely attached" kids use to navigate their home life, i.e. the expectation that love and support would be there for them, got "pared" from us. Those connections are still there but it is virtually impossible for us to access them because the the default behavior (to expect neglect) has fired us passed that potential "exit ramp" so quickly it isn't really available to us. Search a youtube video from "Smarter Everyday" -Backwards Bicycle" and think about how the neural connectivity of riding a bike needs to change to allow you to ride a different kind of bike. THIS is what we're up against. This gives an inkling of what you're trying to do to become "securely attached."

  • @Zenigma217
    @Zenigma2172 жыл бұрын

    Interesting to finally see people of color or minority ethnic groups represented in cartoon image to give universal message of ❤️.

  • @georgeblack2749

    @georgeblack2749

    2 жыл бұрын

    Interesting that it’s always in an interracial context, though…

  • @PerceptionVsReality333

    @PerceptionVsReality333

    2 жыл бұрын

    POCs should just make their own videos instead of trying to forcefully include themselves in everything.

  • @mahayanaconfidential6452
    @mahayanaconfidential64522 жыл бұрын

    No

  • @KeithKazamaFlick
    @KeithKazamaFlick2 жыл бұрын

    How to Get in Touch With Your Feelings .... Give it a call!

  • @TheMegaBulldog13
    @TheMegaBulldog132 жыл бұрын

    Talk.

  • @natyspaghettighetti6726
    @natyspaghettighetti67262 жыл бұрын

    where is alain? is he no longer doing audio?

  • @bensaiben

    @bensaiben

    2 жыл бұрын

    I wonder the same. Nothing against this voice actress but I prefer his soothing tone.

  • @MonkeyDRuffy-ou1ul
    @MonkeyDRuffy-ou1ul2 жыл бұрын

    So my feelings need to be taken seriously by others in order for me to take them seriously in the first place?

  • @daincredibleflow
    @daincredibleflow10 ай бұрын

    I’m 27 and have went threw more then I would like to admit however when I watch this type of stuff I realize how fucked I am lol but you have to be aware of the mistakes you have made and just be honest with yourself and never have a back burner it never helps u always leave it on 😂

  • @IsaiahHollins
    @IsaiahHollins2 жыл бұрын

    How can one get in touch with one’s feelings if it never been learned or expressed? Rather excluded

  • @vivekamar99

    @vivekamar99

    2 жыл бұрын

    I was thinking the same thing. How to access them?

  • @SoulHero7

    @SoulHero7

    2 жыл бұрын

    The video mentions this. You find someone that is willing to teach and show you. That gets infinitely harder as we get older and society expects us to "already know this", but it is doable.

  • @heidzilla.

    @heidzilla.

    2 жыл бұрын

    and if you can’t find someone to teach/show you (most of the people i’m closest to & would feel most comfortable turning to for help with this also struggle greatly with expressing their feelings, so don’t let it discourage you if you find this hard), a therapist is a wonderful option that i truly believe everyone can benefit from.

  • @earlgrey2130
    @earlgrey21302 жыл бұрын

    I'd rather disconnect from my feelings tbh

  • @somethingyousaid5059
    @somethingyousaid50592 жыл бұрын

    I should be so lucky not to be in touch with my feelings. My nervous system is a godd@mned liability, that's all. I wish I could shut it off, but I can't. I don't want to feel. It hurts!

  • @someone_somewhere_from........
    @someone_somewhere_from........2 жыл бұрын

    You guys should really add different Languages to your captions Like Arabic for example my parents speak Arabic and I would love to show them some of your videos

  • @nomad_333_
    @nomad_333_2 жыл бұрын

    Looking at consciousness and positing it as a separate entity is wrong.

  • @JoshMarshain
    @JoshMarshain2 жыл бұрын

    Not that I don't love this narrator (let's be clear, I very much do) but whats happened to Alain? Is he alright? Is he through with The School of Life or simply done with narration? Forgive my prodding, I just have a great deal of respect for him and his work and loved his voice as well.

  • @SunnyMidnite221

    @SunnyMidnite221

    2 жыл бұрын

    Busy writing books, maybe. I miss his voice, too.

  • @ja2528
    @ja25282 жыл бұрын

    Should you refer to your addiction in your diary like to a person?

  • @ja2528

    @ja2528

    2 жыл бұрын

    Not so related comment

  • @lighttheoryllc4337
    @lighttheoryllc43372 жыл бұрын

    Rational vs. Emotionally Unstable

  • @dmtdreamz7706
    @dmtdreamz77062 жыл бұрын

    I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes. I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨

  • @BobF510
    @BobF5107 ай бұрын

    The insights from this content are exceptional. A book I encountered with related subjects offered a transformative perspective. "A Life Unplugged: Reclaiming Reality in a Digital Age" by Theodore Blaze

  • @panda_invention1810
    @panda_invention18102 жыл бұрын

    😪

  • @rsmotivationalvideo3913
    @rsmotivationalvideo39132 жыл бұрын

    How can you advertise mining equipment, when Oreol Staking exists…

  • @gwho
    @gwho Жыл бұрын

    did they switch to a robot voice? that we might... as the expression has it...lose touch with our feelings... IS !...

  • @TealCheetah
    @TealCheetah Жыл бұрын

    This didn't really answer the 'why' part

  • @PtolemyXVII
    @PtolemyXVII2 жыл бұрын

    This lady narrator is quite lovely….however, I would personally prefer someone with a lower pitch of voice…😊

  • @jango1970
    @jango19702 жыл бұрын

    hey, School of LIfe, I hope you are listening. This video is EXTREMELY dangerous. It engenders hopelessness. You are saying that the person who is out of touch with his/her feelings that he/she needs the LOVE of somone else. Are you kidding? I have NOONE. (does this apply to someone who has not felt his/her own feelings since childhood?) This message leads me to the conclusion that my situation is hopeless, so why continue? Why bother? "Knowling how to care for ourselves depends on having been cared for by others". I think this video is NOT for people who have had very abusive parents. I have NEVER been cared for by others. "We listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us". What if this is NOT true? Parents have been neglectful; no partner or siblings or children; "friends" can not listen or don't have patience or tell us , "get a therapist". The therapits is NOT available 24/7. If I were a suicidal person, this video would really push me over the edge. You are saying that we need "others". What if we are truly ALONE????? This is the WORST message. Very dangerous. I don't even know if School of Life reads these messages.

  • @lemmonproductions6090
    @lemmonproductions60902 жыл бұрын

    Magic Mushrooms

  • @sidneyw.mathiasdeoliveira8621
    @sidneyw.mathiasdeoliveira8621 Жыл бұрын

    Lost me at 1:20