I filed for divorce today from a man that I deeply love because he is alcoholic. I am sad, but he refused to get help. We have a one year old, and she cannot witness his alcoholism. Say a little prayer for me.

@TheCalmsoft

2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong mama! Protect that little angel of yours ❤️❤️

@nickalenaramos5981

2 жыл бұрын

I wish I had the strength to do that😔🙏🏼...I'm praying for your comfort and peace🙏🏼💕

@destinymuniz6993

2 жыл бұрын

I am glad you found strength 💪

@brookie_cuqui

2 жыл бұрын

I'm the daughter of an alcoholic, single mother who loves me to death but will always protect her alcoholism first. It's been so hard to understand this my whole life. I applaud your strength. I'll say big prayers for all three of you.

@jennabryan1658

2 жыл бұрын

Lord cover Amanda in our peace today - let it settle over her home and child, give them high quality rest this Christmas season, and protect them Lord as only you can. Bring Your peace Lord, we are eager to receive it. Thank you for walking before us every single day and making the way clear.

I just called off my wedding and walked away from my fiance because of her addiction to alcohol. I find myself stuck and lost in life now that 4 months has gone by since I said goodbye to her. I was with her for 4 years and lived with her for 2.5 years. We got a puppy together, were looking for a house together, and we even survived the pandemic together. One would think if we survived that we could do anything. Unfortunately, I too kept her addiction with alcohol private. I put all of my time and energy into hoping she would get past it. I didn't give up on her the first time she lied to me about her drinking. I didn't run when she drank too much at a friend's going away HH. I didn't leave when I would come home and she had puked all over the bed and floor from drinking while I was gone for just an hour. I didn't leave after she embarrassed herself in front of her family at Thanksgiving. She would get so mad at me for asking her if she had been drinking and would blame me for making such an assumption. I was the bad guy every conversation I tried to have with her. I couldn't help it when I would arrive home and she was acting all funny as if she had been drinking a lot but there was no alcohol around. I knew she was hiding it and lying to my face for a long period of time. The fights were exhausting me. I sat her down and shared with her how it was hurting me. I tried to take the high road after I found the booze hidden in her tall boots in the closet. I told her if you lied to me again about alcohol I couldn't stay. I gave up drinking out at social events with her to support her and show her that our relationship doesn't need alcohol (our household no longer had any either). She made it 5 months until she lied to me again. That entire 5 months I lived in fear of what I would come home to after being away. I feared her next relapse. The anxiety building inside of me sucked the joy out of me. The realization that I would be marrying an alcoholic took away all the excitement I should have been feeling about my upcoming wedding. The hardest thing I've ever done is leave her. I wanted to help her. I wanted to fix her. I wanted to see her get better and beat this demon. As I find myself dealing with heartbreak these days I'm searching for similar stories. I'm blessed to have come across Kim Moore's story. Although a sad one, it has helped me get through today. I've read almost all of the comments and will be reading them over again. This is proof that I need to let down the walls, open up to joy, and share my story. I think it's the only way to healing. I hope everyone on here has found peace and is happy again in their life. You are my hope now that I will too someday.

@macklynkabugho2932

Жыл бұрын

Thx

@slscott1028

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. You are in my prayers.

@PowerGurhl

Жыл бұрын

Hi i am in a similar situation my boyfriend is the same. I am about to move in with him after he lost his job at a well known tech company because of his drinking. He has gone to rehab but it didn’t help and now he has no job because he can’t control himself. He binge drinks for weeks at a time. I understand the way you feel. I used to feel that way too. To some extent I let go of the fixing but the anger it still inside. In my heart I know I should walk away but having a hard time making that step. You did the right thing. I think I’m almost there. And I hope god helps with that decision. I am sure she is lovely person but alcohol really does steal the joy. I also stopped drinking and haven’t in a year because of him and to support him but nothing one does will help them see the truth. I endure fights were he is says hurtful things and the next day he wants to pretend that life is ok. You did the right thing. ❤

@theducksflytogether

Жыл бұрын

@@PowerGurhl hi 👋🏻 I’m sorry you are going through this too. We have a lot in common unfortunately. The fights are devastating and really took their toll over time. There’s so much truth in what you said about the next day the person pretends like nothing happened and probably can’t recall. We fell in love with amazing people who, when under the influence of alcohol, turn into the scariest people we’ve ever seen. Those close to me on the outside shared with me that by staying with her I was enabling her to continue. It’s the hardest place to be especially when you love the person and are trying to build a future together. I gave myself an ultimatum and I openly shared it with her during one of our conversations when she was sober. This was after I found the booze she had been hiding. I told her if she lies to me again when it comes to alcohol that I would have to leave her. 5 months later she did and that ultimatum is what helped me follow through. I can’t tell you what to do but I can share with you what I did and what I was thinking. You will feel completely lost and as if you no longer have a purpose in life because you’ve been taking care of them and trying to save your relationship. I was so hesitant to bring down the life we had created and were about to enter into. I didn’t know which direction to go, I literally was lost. That second lie broke all trust between us and finally I felt as if I had broke. Trust was gone and I was soon to follow. I’m always here willing to share more with you or anyone. Thank you for sharing with me. As sick as this sounds, I’m comforted by your story. Praying for both you and him 🙏🏻

@sixjune957

Жыл бұрын

​@@theducksflytogether you have very strong personality if you had the strength to leave her

On the outside world he’s a hard worker. He is. Never raises his voice, never abusive. We don’t need anything, bills are always paid. But his only joy is beer. When the children were young, I was busy with them. Now that their gone, I’m so lonely. I’m depressed, I teach, so I look forward to work. I’m lonely 😞

@steviemichelle7271

2 жыл бұрын

Hun, I know you feel lonely. I feel lonely as well. I’ve often wondered if I’m the loneliest married person on earth, even though he is physically right next to me ☹️ I don’t understand how someone can actually enjoy the feeling of being drunk and cranky every single night, but apparently lots of people do, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many alcoholics. With mine, his only joy is beer as well, but he also gets extremely mean. He’s much older than me, he has 4 grown kids, I have no kids, I have a job, but I don’t take shifts as often as I used to because his drinking and tantrums literally keep me up all night, so I dread taking hours because I know I won’t get much sleep before going in. My job is stressful enough as it is even without this mess. This is a messed up way to live, but I love him. I don’t have any advice, but I want you to know you’re definitely not alone 💖

@loulou8241

Жыл бұрын

I feel your pain I'm here too God Bless message back how are you now I've been through it alone and its hard but it's time to let go, you got this girl

@agoodgurl2k

Жыл бұрын

I understand. 😭

@paulhooker516

Жыл бұрын

I unfortunately am that guy. My wonderful wife of almost eleven years left me a month ago. I lied and told her I hadn't drank for the last year. When in reality I started again six months ago. We filed for divorce yesterday. I am so sorry for what I have done to her. But I have been sober again for a week. Am taking counseling. As well as church. I may have messed up our lives and love. But she is willing to be my friend. She's my angel and I will make her proud.

@213579

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly my story. Although I don't have kids, but drinking is one of the reasons - I don't see a safe place for kids here. But my husband doesn't do anything mean to me. He is working, paying bills, but can't live a day without beer, and doesn't understand what problem I am talking about! But I can't stand it anymore. Even when I think "I'm not gonna say anything to him" my face says it all. I feel stuck. I love him, but I feel lonely. If I leave him, I'd have to leave the country, which means no second chances, and this is the step I don't dare to take. Thank you for sharing your story 🙏

It’s so lonely. It just such a lonely place being the spouse married to an addict. Questioning, doubting, wondering and praying. Being the parent your kids need. I am so lonely and tired. 🙏 Praying for you all.

@candacerodrigue8123

2 жыл бұрын

I am going through this. have been for 13 years. some years have been better than others. I felt like we were going to ok, but now the pattern is coming back. I can see it. I hate his feeling. the only people who really know I am still going through it are my son and daughter. I hate that they have to know. i am praying screaming to God to make it all better.

@brookeloxton834

2 жыл бұрын

And I am praying for you

@GirijaDD

2 жыл бұрын

Amanda, you expressed so well. I am crying so much that I can’t write anything. Prayers 💔

@QueenBBadTeddy

Жыл бұрын

They make it worse when they use manipulation and gaslight you for trying to help

@LolaBreakHEARTS

Жыл бұрын

💔

i guess im the only one in this comment section with an alcholic wife. this situation we're all going through is tough. i love her way too much to leave. thats why im searching online for videos on coping and helping the best i can. i wish all of you goodluck and thank you to the lady in the video.

@_UglyBarnacle

2 жыл бұрын

@ThePizzageek thank you

@brettrun8575

2 жыл бұрын

I am in the exact same situation. You are not alone.

@vectoraerialimaging774

2 жыл бұрын

I am dealing with an alcoholic wife...I finally had the courage to tell her that if she doesn't stop, I will leave. She's been crying for the past three days. She can barely look at me. To be honest, I'm not sure our marriage can stand this, but I have no other options. I'm done enabling her.

@vectoraerialimaging774

2 жыл бұрын

@ThePizzageek She's trying...It's been over a week now with no drinking so I'm hoping she can stick to it. Thanks for your support!

@phrainphrainjugotoagleam595

2 жыл бұрын

Naltrexone, The Sinclair Method

“For years it’s so sneaky that you questions whether or not it’s a problem and wondering if you’re just making it all up in your heard…” wow this hit home.

@kimmoore5881

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you found it helpful. Trust your gut. Deep down you know.

@lensgirl

2 жыл бұрын

@@kimmoore5881 I thought I was the problem, genuinely. I thought I was just being boring, he told me it’s because I wasn’t any fun and that everyone drinks this much. Yet none of my friends or family drank like he did. I convinced myself of this for years. I’m out of it now, but the hurt and anger sits with me every day still.

@jenibrown752

7 ай бұрын

I thought that I was the only one who was making a problem when there is not. But there is a problem and we have it.

I just broke up with the love of my life, because he is also an alcoholic who refuses to get help. I just did it tonight. This has been very helpful. Thank you.

@meetu7817

3 жыл бұрын

Me too. I told him I cannot marry him. He is high functioning, has a high paying job and is a runner so he thinks it's ok to drink every night. I tell myself sometimes that maybe it's ok. But i cannot be ok with drinking every night.

@alexanotfromamazon

3 жыл бұрын

@@meetu7817 right, there's a healthy limit for everything. Runner or not a fatty liver gets all of them if they do not ask for help

@meetu7817

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexanotfromamazon he says he eats absolutely right and works out a lot , remains happy so won't have health issues. I don't agree but what can I say. I hope he never has them. Other than that when he drinks every night, I miss the sober talks. I feel like he is not available for me. So that's an issue.

@alexanotfromamazon

3 жыл бұрын

Update - he actually told his mom what's happening and is actively looking to get help. I still kicked him out and told him to find a new place, but it seems like this was the push he needed to at least start taking this seriously.

@alexanotfromamazon

3 жыл бұрын

@@meetu7817 agreed. It is an issue, and maybe you thinking about you alone could be the push he needs to get himself together.

Sending all of you who are in love with an alcoholic, tons of love, virtual hugs & positive vibes. ❤

@lynnegialanze8650

9 ай бұрын

And also to you

@fatimakazembe7909

8 ай бұрын

Thank you❤

Its hard to break free from the misery when it just consumes you. When you are still living with an alcoholic the anxiety over powers everything.

@nickalenaramos5981

2 жыл бұрын

it's crippling 😔

@steviemichelle7271

2 жыл бұрын

I’m with you :(

@DustyBanditRepellant

Жыл бұрын

Yes, currently dealing with the anxiety.

@gulnazshirieva7836

Жыл бұрын

can't say better

@Ingrid0410

Жыл бұрын

Leave!!! Take it from me after 35 years

The pure emptiness and loneliness kills me. When I am in crisis and need help in my life the most devastating thing is that no one is there for me. It broke me.

@shanrachel8707

2 жыл бұрын

I feel I am in same situation, but I believe God will be with us

@rockstarofredondo

4 ай бұрын

There’s never anything for the sober partner.

Just wanted to share a part from the other side. I’m the alcoholic, I’m still young and in active recovery. My long time partner had left me and even that wasn’t enough to drag me back of course. But a few months later I did quit and thankfully I got my partner back and we live a happy sober life. I’m lucky and I’m thankful for the second chance him and I both get to have. I almost lost the love of my life and that was the same for him but I’m grateful I finally saw it for what it was. Things can getter better but it’s a tough fight for sure.

Loving an alcoholic is tough. It's comforting hearing your inner thoughts because I too think those thoughts.

Watching this made me break down and cry because I never tell people about my partners drinking and its making my life is difficult and miserable. I feel so much less alone from the comments. I've felt like I really am alone but this helps. I cried at the thought of my partner dying from this disease. Sending love to all of you in the same situation.

@jillrodger8891

3 ай бұрын

I am in the same situation. Good luck to us both.

Thank you for this beautiful share. I am a father of 2 beautiful children ages 2 and 3 and my wife is an alcoholic. She easily drinks a bottle of vodka a day. She has been 4 times in rehab too in the space of 3 years. Everytime she come out, I feel I have my wife back. A few months later we are back to being enslaved by the bottle. I love my wife but everyday I loose more and more love for her through the emotional and physical abuse I receive when trying taking her bank cards and car keys away from her. We barely have any intimacy because she is more than often drunk. This week my little babies had their bath for the 1st time in 5 days when I left work early because I couldn't focus on work and what was happening at home. Today I came home to my wife out cold on the bed while my babies were playing in the lounge unsupervised and this is 3:30 in the afternoon on a beautiful sunny day. I don't have friends and a social life that is nonexistent because of her addiction. You are absolutely right!! We are not making enough noise about the impacts of alcoholism and how it impacts our families. It's scary to think that she could die from it, leaving me and my babies alone on this earth. Everyone including me is so afraid and ashamed of the challenge I'm facing, for one to protect her and more importantly afraid that my kids will be taken from me. At this point I am so lost and scared but after watching your share I want to make a stand and call alcoholism out for what it is. It's a horror at the expense of my little children's well-being. Thank you thank you, thank you so much. I wish to hear more stories like yours and hopefully I one day could share my story too.

@hazzyskies

2 жыл бұрын

God bless you. I’ll be keeping you and everyone in this situation in my prayers~

@amandamacdonald9725

2 жыл бұрын

My god, your story is mine right now. You have to leave. My husband would do the same thing when I would come home from work, I had to leave my job due this alcoholism to protect my child. I filed for divorce even though I love him. Get out. CPS will remove children if you aren’t protecting them. Think of them- they have a sober Daddy. You are enough for them. She has to make the change regardless if you are there or not. Stop enabling. Children are so vulnerable and pick up the stress. There is so much hope. You need to get you and your babies out of that environment ASAP.

I just broke up with the most beautiful person that I have ever encountered in my life, the big problem is that he is an alcoholic! I became codependent on his alcoholism and I started to loose my smile, joy and love for my self! I started to try to control everything and it was extremely exhausting! I was not a nice person to him anymore. When I was with him I slept almost all day, to not face my reality! He stop to give me comfort when i had low days, he wanted me to focus only on his issues! Emotional Hangover, sadness, emptiness, loneliness and body issues! I feel terrible that I am not able to help him anymore!

@blondiex3308

2 жыл бұрын

I understand this feeling all to well ❤

@ammaa2566

2 жыл бұрын

would you recommend me to stop feom the beginning.. i have just started dating and like him. now only i noticed that he is alcoholic.. he stopped smoking.. peiple telljng me he would change whrn we start living under the same roof.., do you recommend taking it further based on ur experience

@wetspell2258

2 жыл бұрын

@@ammaa2566 Hi beautiful, you have to take care of yourself first! Love yourself above everything! You can be in that situation as long as you want, but if you love yourself first , you will know what will be right for you and your emotional health! If you have the strength, stop now! You will not be his savior, no one can save no one from their own pain and suffering! I hope you can make the right decision!

@ammaa2566

2 жыл бұрын

thank you !

@Luke-el7sx

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve just moved in with my partner and her three children and she’s in the same place, drinking whenever things become too much after a difficult year, shutting down emotionally and labelling me the problem. I have stepped away and realised that she needs to heal and admit it needs to change, I just hope she’s open to it. Otherwise I have to walk away. Addiction can be such a terrible thing. Your comment really helped me sympathise.

I’m at the point that I just don’t want to live anymore. I’m so tired of trying to control it for him.

@kimmoore5881

2 жыл бұрын

Reach out to Alanon. Focus on you and your wellbeing.

@oriellegrove729

Жыл бұрын

I understand I hope that you are well I’m praying for you and sending love I’m going through the same thing

Crying right now watching this, I’ve been holding on to a relationship with my girlfriend who struggles with alcoholism. Weve been together 6 years going on 7 but I am unsure how much longer we can make it. We’ve been thru so much together, since we were 19 we’ve always took on the world together and were unbreakable. However, as the years passed, a series of choices on both of our parts heavily affected our future. When she was 20 I first started seeing the signs, but because I wanted nothing but to make her happy, I would buy us alcohol and we would drink and smoke. That was my first mistake, fueling her habits and not seeing the big picture. My second mistake was grilling her and getting upset after every screw up. There were highs and lows but nearly every time we had a big problem with it, I would blow up and become angry, which never helped the situation. Everything must be done out of love and i see that now. It’s easy to push someone away in their times if need but we need to be stronger for our loved ones and see them for who they are. They are not monsters, they have been corrupted by one and fight it everyday, more often than not alone. But we need to show love, understanding, support, and compassion or else we are doing just as much damage as they are. The last time we had an incident I threw her out of my house. She had gotten smashed, bar crawled, and drove all night drunk, eventually making it home, but with more than 1000$ worth of damage to her brand new car. She was quite violent, and although I kept my composure and got her to bed, I slept on the couch and knew that tomorrow she would have to go. My worst mistake. Abandonment affects trust and creates fear, which are perfect ways to drive someone away, and back into the botttle. Although it has been nearly 4 months of us being separated(we lived together 5 years) we are still together, and fighting this monster. There are ups and downs but I fear that I learned from my mistakes too late sometimes, and it clouds my vision but I do my best to calm my own mind, for her. I haven’t given up yet, and am trying to turn things around for the better. Despite all my faults and failures. It’s a tough road, and although sometimes doubtful, I am fully hopeful that we can defeat this demon. Stay strong everyone 💙

@vitkomusic6624

3 ай бұрын

Alcohol is the problem.

I can feel it coming too. There’s a break in the pattern and I know it’s the drink. The constant verbal abuse is the worst, he seems cold and even malevolent when he drinks but he’s so sweet and regretful when sober…and sorry. I forgive him a lot, always, he’s my soul mate. It’s killing us both. The irony is I grew up with alcoholic parents who fought a lot and verbally and physically abused me. I don’t even drink. Thankyou for sharing.

@suemckenzie2381

2 жыл бұрын

The regretful next day is what kills me. It’s a vicious cycle

@nonever3713

2 жыл бұрын

This is my exact experience. It’s so difficult.

@fallinlinewithjess3032

2 жыл бұрын

Wow I know this feeling all too well. Praying for you ❤️. Sometimes you have to walk away if they’re not willing to get help.

@taniachantzi8334

2 жыл бұрын

It’s not irony my dear, with all respect it’s trauma. I know cause I did the same. We choosing situations that seem familiar when we have experience the same in the family. And it’s not a conscious choice, it’s just familiar.

@stephaniekay9793

2 жыл бұрын

I like how you say "a break in the pattern" and that's exactly how it is. They keep trying to make it look like nothings up, but every time, he's been consuming again...

I have the same problem currently with my husband. I soak up every thing I can find online about what we as the wives deal with. :( Thank you for being so real. I cried.

@alytizzle

3 жыл бұрын

Here for the same reason. Trying to come to terms with it. Feeling like I’m crazy because it’s starting to seem like he’s losing control but in denial.

@whenimfamous9993

3 жыл бұрын

@@spaceballs44 my husband is passed out as well he is on wine now no more vodka but his heart is bad and his health is terrible. What my youngest child has been through is awful but I am not with out sin I'm 7 months sober.

@juthamaspalfrey7799

3 жыл бұрын

Sitting here crying my eyes out, losing will and motivation. Just wanted to give it all up and walking away but never can I do it.

@clipaqua8848

3 жыл бұрын

@@juthamaspalfrey7799 you’ve got an army behind you

@blondiex3308

2 жыл бұрын

@@whenimfamous9993 good for you, please stay sober with us ❤

When you have experienced tip toeing around the house trying to fill her water bottle or cooking her supper, worried that you will trigger your spouse during an alcoholic episode which happens almost every day.. then you will understand why people gravitate to a video like this.

How do you put up boundaries when they are breaking your heart with every broken promise? Realising you cant go camping it do normal things for fear you will be stuck alone with a drunk?! I feel like i have ocd now and ptsd. I want to die. They make you the problem!! I cant take this anymore.

My alcoholic husband is currently in the hospital for the second time in two months with high blood pressure and multiple strokes from his drinking. He is destroying his family, but I refuse to be destroyed along with him. I have rallied everyone with the truth, and I am not helping him hide his addiction or be complicit in his secrets. At this point we are destined for his death or our divorce if he doesn't choose wisely. I accept that I have no control over the outcome, all I can control is my attitude.

I appreciate this Ted talk so much. I am currently struggling with my baby's father's severe alcoholism. It has made me so unhappy and unable to fully enjoy my daughter's young years because I'm so distracted by my struggling partner. Life is so hard right now and this has given me some strength back.

@BobBob-uv9fq

3 жыл бұрын

Hope things are getting better ,can you not get help

@sandrabran3138

3 жыл бұрын

Happiness is within you save some money , just in case , you may need it and rethink if you want this kind of life is not goingto get easier, only you can change it , he wont he is too sick and selfish to think about you and your baby have some kind off support tell someone, sick for help.

@alexanotfromamazon

3 жыл бұрын

Great username. I appreciate the medulla very much.

@maryanndolan6508

3 жыл бұрын

Go to Alanon, it free and the help cannot be stressed enough, I know it’s hard to get out with a young child..take the baby with you. Hitch a ride, borrow a car, take the bus. There are meetings all over the country. It will save your sanity and your life.

@jameseastwood4984

3 жыл бұрын

Let me give you some advice. Leave your partner, go and live with your parents if possible. It's just not worth the long term affect on your children. It's bloody awful, get out now.

Its so incredibly difficult but seeing so many others get how I feel makes me feel stronger as a mother. Thank you for speaking your truth

@loulou8241

Жыл бұрын

Yes yes yes your not alone others exsperience this too I'm here with you 🙌🏽🙏🏽

I walked away from my partner last night who is an alcoholic. The verbal abuse is the worst! And I could not take it anymore! I need to protect my mental health as before him I was with a drug addict who overdosed and lost his life to heroine 💔

@loulou8241

Жыл бұрын

I hear you, Bless you with strength and perseverance you got this let it go

@iw9338

Жыл бұрын

I find the silence to be horrible.

Bookmarking this video!!! Everything you have spoke on resonates with my 18 years and two kids who have an alcoholic father. It’s a disease I would hear….stay with him and maybe things will change..his denial can’t be changed by me or his two beautiful, talented daughters who come second to his vodka. The worst part is my mental health and depression because his drinking has robbed me of everything that brought me joy..got a lawyer this week and praying for another chance at new life!

I will NEVER give up on my beloved wife despite her addiction but instead of protecting her habit, I can let down the wall and let help in. THANKYOU!

@iraispilar7462

2 жыл бұрын

I think my wife is giving up on me how do u do it?

This talk hit too true. The difference for me, I wasn't strong enough to leave. My "support system" was a family of alcoholics. He died from alcoholic liver disease at 50 years old, in our 19th year of marriage, leaving behind his wife and 2 children (ages 2 & 8). Life without him is so much lighter. As my son said when his father died, I'm glad the disease is dead, but I miss him anyway 😢

Thank you for your inspiration and wisdom 🙏 I am at the beginning of the divorce from my wife of 31 years. I am absolutely lost and heartbroken that she refuses to quit. I am sad, angry and disappointed to my core. I cannot stand this feeling of hopelessly. It's so hard to watch the love of your life self destruct from this poison 💔 I can repair and create so many amazing things, but I am powerless to save her.

@lilyzhang6849

2 ай бұрын

Resonate. It's a hopeless disease

@wenchetenveldenhegelstad8032

Ай бұрын

Me too. 30 Years😭

I am going through with my husband same story .I am feeling so embarrassed and ashamed and lonely.

@brookeloxton834

2 жыл бұрын

Don't be embarrassed. This is not your fault. You are brave enough to let your voice be heard and I commend you for it. God bless you. You are in my prayers

@the_greenhouse_gardener

Жыл бұрын

same here, I keep telling myself he has no control over me, he cannot control how I feel, I don't know if it works but I have to try and believe it

I have been married for 41 years to my husband, 2 beautiful grown daughters and 4 grandchildren - he has slowly become an alcoholic over the years coming home drunk most nights. Both my parents were alcoholics as well and both died from alcoholism. I am SO JOYLESS right now and will be 60 next month - not sure how much longer I can live like this!

@fluffyanne1177

3 жыл бұрын

You need to look after Sheila! I am sure your daughters would encourage you!

@njr1222

3 жыл бұрын

Ask him to try the Sinclair method if he wants to temper his drink but feels incapable of going completely sober. Ultimately though Sheila, put yourself first and if he needs to go to rehab then so be it. X

@sheiladyck5863

3 жыл бұрын

@@njr1222 thank you!

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

❤️

@staggies6001

3 жыл бұрын

Stay strong, Sheila 💗

I went through something similar last night (the situation in the restaurant). I’ve been with my partner who is an alcoholic for almost 4 years. We have broken up. This was helpful. Thank you for sharing your story.

I listened to your video. You are a strong woman to talk about this in such a calm manner. This is not an easy situation to deal with. I have an alcoholic husband as well. Your video made me shed a tear. I will surely listen to your video again. Prayers and more prayers can make a difference if we only have faith that God can and will answer our prayers in due time because it has to be at his time and not ours. Let us who have alcoholics husband continue to pray and find joy in our situation. Thanks for your video.

I can relate. I have a son who has a problem with drinking since he was 16 he'll be 37 and he's still drinking vodka and smoking cigarettes. I go to bed with the fear that when I wake up . I will no longer have my son.

Thank you, I needed to hear this tonight… I’m struggling with detaching, because I know he is ill and will eventually end up in the hospital, I just don’t want it to be too late.

35 years with a functional alcoholic. Still afraid tell my story & take down walls. I avoid being with friends for fear that when I come home my spouse will be drinking. The drinking is ruining me more than affecting him. In the long run he'll be fine but I won't be. 😢

damn right its the silent pandemic, tragic story but well done for sharing it. you deserve to be happy and people need to hear this.

@kimmoore5881

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much.

This is quite helpful. I am living with an active alcoholic. After 40 years of marriage, I finally had enough, I am tired of the caos. I finally reached for help, but I am still at home, haven’t been able to let go. I know that’s the next step. Your talk is very helpful, thank you.

I broke up with my gf because of her alcoholism. She has mental illness as well, but cannot attempt to manage that until she handles her drinking. I’m 6 years sober myself and watching her unravel is so painful.

@andreflavell3453

Жыл бұрын

I had a girlfriend that is a drinker . But had to walk away because they are sneaky and tell lies . Heartbreaking

I'm in desperately need of a solution, my husband and I been married for 7 years now. Unfortunately about a year ago he started to drink more and more over the weekends. He's still able to work and function normal around family and friends but when the weekend hits he starts drinking. Every single time he does it we fight, he becomes verbally abusive, he hurts me with his words. The next day he Acts like nothing happened, and wants to nice. I just don't think I can handle the situation, our relationship is braking down, and I feel there's nothing I can do to help him. I have tried to ask his mom for help, but there's wasn't much she could do. I'm just so miserable every time he comes home like that.

@taniachantzi8334

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve experienced the same sister

@taniachantzi8334

2 жыл бұрын

I turn the world around but I left him

@royalprincessreborns4411

Жыл бұрын

I can relate to the verbal abuse and acting like nothing is wrong. How are you doing? I'm in the process of deciding whether to end the relationship ❤️

@monalisamarley7231

Жыл бұрын

I am in the same problem married for 10 years he is loving and caring but only when he is drinking everything turns for the worse.We have a 4 year old together but there is no love any more a just feel sorry for him dont know what to do anymore. Only god can be my our rescue I am thinking of ending the relationship😞

@royalprincessreborns4411

Жыл бұрын

Update : I am now separated. It feels great not having drama now. It's been 1.5 months apart and he has not stopped drinking. It says alot, not even one AA meeting. It's hard though, I'm grieving the loss of what I thought I had.

Im crying watching this I want to really let go this time. I want to be done this hurts too much.

I have tried braking FREE! I reached out to my husbands family/brother/sisters/daughters/son & apparently this is something I need to deal with because he is my husband! WOW!!! Many years of placing my husband in rehabs! He works the system to only get out to start his drinking! Telling me he will do better and stop drinking! When I sense that he is drinking, I go looking & always find the liquor hidden in his vehicle or behind a piece of furniture! At the end of my rope for sure!

If you meet someone and get into a relationship with them knowing they're an alcoholic or any kind of addict for that matter, unless you demand they stop before the relationship goes any further, you're complicit in the behaviour and this is not healthy for either of you. I 100% know what I'm talking about, having been both the addict and later the sober part of the relationship and it simply is deeply unhealthy. I stopped being willing to date people who claim to be able to drink normally any more. Most people who say that arent telling the truth!

@vutruong7452

Жыл бұрын

Yes. I have told that to my partner. The problem is they would say they would stop to get you back but they won’t multiple times.

The love of my life is an alcoholic she nuked our relationship. Told me I can do better. I don't want anyone else I want her and so desperately want her to get help. She deserves love she deserves life

I finally let him go after 6yrs of the same cycle hurt each other alot .I let my self go trying to understand and help him.he made me feel like I was the boring one that didn't party like him ... Missed alot of good moments in our daughter's life .. finally got the courage to leave him it was hard letting him go because when he was sober he was the best men I loved 😭

@saniakapoor6244

Жыл бұрын

Same is my feeling because when he was sober ,it felt all heaven.Finally after 8yrs of marriage i have decided to leave him so that my kid can get a better future....though i still lve him alot....

Thank you. I have goosebumps. I've come to a point with my mom, the person who brought me into this world, that I have to step away for a while because I can't bear it anymore, at least I can't for right now.

1) Let down the walls. Let people in. 2) Open up to joy. Look for joy around you every day. 3) Interrupt the silence. Find someone to talk to. Talking helps.

@kimmoore5881

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you found that helpful.

Get to alanon, as fast as you can..wonderful help and it is free. The sharing is priceless and will give you new hope. Don’t give in to the illness of alcoholism.

@natashanewman412

2 жыл бұрын

Al anon made me more depressed. It made me see so many others suffering this pain and learning to live with it is their answer. Maybe I didnt give it enough time. Or I was too desperate when I arrived crying at a meeting. Seeing so many broken people struggling made me feel more desperate. Love to you. Bless

@amyserafin2291

Ай бұрын

I don’t agree with the gender roles that Alanon promotes. i.e. a women is most likely with an alcoholic because she’s maternal and wants to nurture him. This is not true at all and harmful tropes.

It is so awful. I never ever would of been aware of how terrible this is until I became the girlfriend of an alcoholic. It’s extremely sneaky, and if you think a stint at rehab is going to solve all your problems you better think again! It’s so sad an all consuming. We have a 5 month old daughter and on top of the stress and sadness of dealing with my partner, I am basically a single mother to her, and feel immense guilt for brining her into this situation. He was sober when I got pregnant, and has been going on weekly drinking sessions since she’s been born. Disappearing, and then the days of wallowing and getting sick to follow when he finally returns home. I find it hard to ask for help, but since I have started talking to people about it, it doesn’t make the pain go away, but it makes life a little bit easier. Nobody is perfect so I don’t know why we try to portray the perfect life. Today we paid a therapist to tell us what I already knew (and have been saying)- that a fulfilling and safe relationship is not possible while he still drinks. He thinks we have ‘normal’ relationship issues, but is so blind to the fact that it doesn’t matter how much of an effort we make, nothing will change unless he is sober. In fact it’s just getting progressively worse. Zero intimacy, zero trust. We decided to end things, and although I do feel a sense of relief and feel like I can help him better from a distance, I am also angry and hurt, that he has chosen alcohol again and again. He has made no plans to get himself clean and is still in denial that his drinking is the main reason we are ending. It’s crazy how it warps their brains Into fooling themselves! I told him he’s like leonardo di caprio in shutter island- just when you think he’s starting to see sense, he falls right back into the delusion.

@larissahonda3053

Жыл бұрын

im so sorry you had to go through this, hoping you and your baby girl are doing better now

This is such an amazing talk. Found myself in a whirlwind. This has really helped me. Alcoholism is such a tragedy.

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

❤️

I’m in tears at this very moment as my husband is currently on a binder. I feel so damn hopeless

I am so sick of the lies,and the worrying. We have 3 sons 2 very successful and married, my 3rd an alcoholic goes from job to job and was in recovery for 30 days. My hubby and I are middle class, both hard working, have a solid marriage, but it’s taking it’s toll on us, alot of tension. i just need help to be stronger and let him live his life but not in our house!! I’ve been to Alonon it’s really not what I expected, I read, watch video’s etc on how to help myself deal. We’ve honestly done all we can do except get him out bc afraid of what will happen to him. GOD please help us…

Thank you so much. It's so hard. Thank you for your words.

This is extremely moving ,and all true . Thank you for your message, Nathalie

What an encouraging story. Thank you for sharing it to help us. It's just what I needed to hear.

Thank you so very much for sharing your story. Just now, after listening, I don't feel so alone. ❤️

Thank you Jesus. Thank you for this message.

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

❤️

@craigsmith1365

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you.Twenty years sober and I still need to hear this..

Thanks for sharing, once again... In our family, it was my mum who suffered from severe alcoholism. But some years before she died, we spoke together from heart to heart and our relation was filled with love and genuine comprehension till the end :) Today my children struggle with the same problem with their father and they do their best to achieve kind of a sincere talk...

I dearly and truly love Frankie. Today I realized I had to walk away. It hurts so badly 😞😭 But I honestly fear for both our lives.

Thank you, so good to be reminded that there is joy outside of what has happened to our family due to one person. It is still so sad, how did this happen? Why did it happen? I have a life and I am going to live it.

Great advice and I think I was doing it right because I usually open my problem with the alcoholism of the father of my daughter to some close friend. They help a lot, they pray for me and my family. I still feel sad sometimes and want to get away but I still choose to stay.

Stay strong 💪 you will get through this 💟

Thank you for sharing your story and being brave

Very sad. very brave of you. Thank you so much for sharing

So much respect 🙌 to all those helping others heal. 🦋 It's a true calling. I absolutely found my purpose in telling my story of borderline death ☠️ and life implosion 🤯 to healing my brain and body to get my life back! Much luv! 🕉 You can heal!

This is very helpful and comforting. Thank you

@Michael-tr7uq

2 жыл бұрын

If you read the book by Dr. Roy Eskapa PHD it will put your mind at ease a bit, because he describes the true science of AUD and how to reverse it with a short-term medical treatment. Even if your loved one isn't quite ready to hear about this breakthrough science, you will realize how much dogma has been piled onto AUD for the last 80 years, before naltrexone was understood. The Sinclair Method is all over KZread. Don't push TSM on them, just rest assured that thousands of people are curing themselves every day around the world using this method.

God bless you xx

Thanks for such a wonderful talk . It's very helpful.i see my husband daily consumed by the alcohol . I have realized I can't help him out myself . I hope he becomes alright . It's painful loving an alcoholic .

Thank You 🙏💜

Thank you for sharing your life to help others.. I too have been married to a wonderful wife who , after 30 years of excellent marriage ,somehow slipped into alcoholism. I’m in no way judgmental of her .. love her dearly.. she is the most loving when sober,but when she is intoxicated Im left feeling alone ,or if around her ,will do something wrong that will create even more distance . I feel so helpless.. it’s one thing to feel loss, but the worst thing is being powerless to help.. Thank you again

This is spot on with my wife. I'm considering leaving her. When she said i could feel the drunkenness about to start was very true. My wife looks for excuses to drink and usually looks for things I do. Im mentally drained. Im literally her punching bag verbally and physically. Her friends and even family are what I call drinking assassin's. They always encourage her to have fun be you. Have a drink and just have a few sips, but they don't have to deal with the aftermath. Im out of options, but still i don't want my kid to have separated parents. It breaks my heart.

@ronanebrida

Ай бұрын

I feel for you. My husband is the same and contemplating leaving too. At the same time we have 2 children so I understand

I've been married for 30 years and 20 of those with an alcoholic and telling my self that I need to leave him for my children sake and mine, my kids are grown and I still want to leave, if you are young and with this problem know that they don't change and you just get older and more discourage to leave I am still getting a divorce so I just prolonged my suffering and my misery aldo I'll be free soon.

@ellaineheart5766

3 жыл бұрын

Mam I left my alcoholic partner. I thought he will changed but he just found someone else what should I do? I still love him

@sandrabran3138

3 жыл бұрын

@@ellaineheart5766 Love yourself more , with time you'll find someone that will love you the right way remember that is better to be by yourself for a while than with someone abusive for life, you're life is too precious to waist it.

@laurajay9202

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Sandra. That's so honest and so heartbreaking to hear. I'm 8 years with mine and have recognized for a good few years that things are bad, but just kept thinking it would get better... It hasn't. And this has reminded me that he's unlikely to get better. I need to leave. For myself. I'm so unhappy. I'm always walking on eggshells. It's hurts my heart to hear that you've been dealing with this for so long. I hope you find strength and happiness soon. Xxx

Thank you for sharing x

im bawling crying

thank you for shairing.

The joy is leave for yourself, extremely hard but do it for you

❤️ this made me cry ....

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

❤️

@Reflexwoman

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. ❤

😭😭😭 everything is relatable 😭😭thank you🙏

Its not easy to find joy when you know your husband is doing things to ruin his life, health of alcoholism.. it is just easy to say but when you’re in the situation its hard to find joy.. sharing with trusted people in your life perhaps is a help

I'm a child of alcoholic parents. The abuse was extensive. I wish mom would have left when we were young. Good for you. I feel like i got sentenced to life because i dont know whst normal is.

Thank you!

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

you are welcome

I wasted three years on a drunk! I have had enough! I am emotionally, mentally, financially exhausted!

@mssweetlisa

Ай бұрын

I have also dealt with the same , 3 yrs , miserable... Always hoping he'd change , time wasted... Sadness beyond words

Trying to lead a normal life since my marriag...not a single day I have smiled from my heart...I remember how I used to laugh when I was a child....all my hopes have gone just like you...nothing worked out after marriage...everyday same routine, drinks in the night, the fear of losing him..I have already lost everything..

@ellaineheart5766

3 жыл бұрын

😭

@meetu7817

3 жыл бұрын

My fiancee was a high functioning Alcoholic. He works all day, cooks, is very responsible at everything but at night wants to drink mostly everytime. I postponed the marriage because I was too scared of how I was gonna deal with this.

@shiprasarkar6123

3 жыл бұрын

@@meetu7817 good that you are taking a stand, otherwise it become worse when we think things will get better...

@meetu7817

3 жыл бұрын

@@shiprasarkar6123 I told him today that I cannot marry him. It's is the end and it's very difficult.

@natashanewman412

2 жыл бұрын

You are strong and brave. Bless

My hubby is also alcoholic, but i still find light and joy. I still hoping he will widraw that alcohol addiction

I am so tired dealing with this that I start thinking the death of alcoholics ,who makes there’s family suffer, is only way out.

@sandrabran3138

3 жыл бұрын

I understand, but the way out is the time that you decide I'm out the door to start new ,to live, not just to be alive.

@joslechten8290

2 жыл бұрын

I am becomming a numb person.I am Broken .Giving up is a word that i don't understand but on thé otherhand it is draging me in thé hole.

@blondiex3308

2 жыл бұрын

I think about burning down every liquor store. I think about destroying every alcohol ad I see, whether at a bus stop, bulletin, in a magazine, my phone or TV. Alcohol makes people hurt themselves and other people. It makes some people kill people. On purpose and by accident. I can't understand why it is so normalized in the world. We got cigarette ads off TV and magazines, why can't we do the same with alcohol. "Drink responsibly"

@exathletes-ci7ec

10 ай бұрын

Recovery is the answer, the healthiest of us die inevitably, all challenges & obstacles can be overcome & recovered from.

I’m making the most important decision of my life to leave my husband now. We are together 5.5 years. Married 1.5 year with no kid. He is a functional drinker. He does the work of the house. Working hard and making good money. He tries to work out to stay healthy to compensate with drinking. In deep down, I knew he has problems but drinking. 3 months ago, he got into an big accident that almost killed his own life. He quitted drinking for 2 more months and started back which disappointed so much. We had a beautiful relationship. Everything was great. I just had to keep reminding him not to drink. But this time I have the feeling that things can get worse and I’d better leave before our relationship gets worse. I don’t want to have kids and let my kids go thru this. It is sad to leave because you feel guilty not being their side to help them. It is sad to leave because we had so many beautiful memories and we don’t even fight in relationship. It is sad to leave when things are still doing good. But it is better than waiting to things got worse.

@lilyzhang6849

2 ай бұрын

Resonate. My husband was a beautiful person has a heart of gold but this illness will get worse. It's a progressive chronic brain disease. Leave or not leave you will feel the pain if you love that person.

@andreadutoit6277

2 ай бұрын

Believe me it gets worse, kids had to go through him verbally abusing me again and me crying from the shame of knowing I am the one exposing them to him. They love him so much, the little one is struggling so much to understand what his daddy does, he acts like it's ok, cause his so used to it. Don't think he would cope without his dad. So tired, so broken, so scared, and don't know what to do. If I divorce and he gets visiting rights, they'll still be subjected to him, It won't make it better. This I know. Please leave before you have kids. They don't deserve any of it. Wasn't always this bad, he used to help in the house as well. Please leave while you can.

Thank you

My joy is in music. I've had enough of the alcoholic, I know it's a disease but it makes me feel sick, day in day out. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Praying for a miracle for Brian and his 7 children

THANK U THANK U 🙏🏽💕I so hope you and your babies are smiling more GOD BLESS U! I talk to GOD often and how to proceed I believe he sends messages when we’re open to receive them. Smile and I will too

Wow, I’m not sure when or if I’ll see my comment in the future. My husband lives with heavy pain that stems from childhood trauma. He hardly has any strength to deal with life’s problems because any sight of pain since he was 13 he would drink it away. He is talented, handsome, has a huge heart for animals, he’s generous, sensitive…. yet depression and alcohol have blinded him. He lives in hypnosis. I am scared, sad, that his clock is ticking. He does not care to die. It’s a difficult situation to be in because I have a positive influence in his life. I do believe if I wasn’t around he wouldn’t live long… but it is hard to witness how he handles his pain, it is hard knowing he might not come home one day.

Thank you. 💯. I am in love with an alcoholic don't have no support really or anyone to talk to you about this then the man has two grandchildren that he's trying to raise

I can to a crashing point my self being addicted I had check into the ER from with my significant other. I am getting sober for her now because she is the most important thing to me way more than alcohol could ever be. You have to find support and you can’t be around other people who drink when you are trying to recover. Whole life style changes need to happen. Remember you can fight this don’t let the inner demons control you. Don’t let the poison kill you

I feel like his drinking has destroyed me as a person I am so bitter depressed and most times not very happy saying to my self do I want to spend the rest of my years I have like this or want to be with him I know he will never stop drinking he enjoys drinking

@pes6628

2 жыл бұрын

If somebody loves a thing more than you, it's a good clue to confront your emotions. I don't think that anyone is worthy of your love if they hurt you like this.

Last night the police had to intervene between me and my alcoholic boyfriend. He has mantel illness and trauma, but no one deserves abuse. It’s up to him to get help. I hope all you people in the comments take care of yourself and stay safe

Heartbreaking

@kimmoore5881

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching. Time has passed and I can see now how this has led to my purpose in life, to help others who love and alcoholic. My life is different, not as I had planned, but I am opening up to joy and blossoming.

My boyfriend is an alcoholic and his only love is drinking. He doesn’t care about my needs or happiness.

thank you for this, I hate going to bed at night sleeping beside somebody who might die beside me. the anxiety is awful, if he falls will he hit his head, will he die? will it be worse and he have a stroke. its terrifying

This breaks my heart struggling with my husband 😢😔😔😔💔 but I love him soooo much

Crying. I’m not alone 💔 my husband is going to die if he doesn’t get better .

@moshedayan2810

3 ай бұрын

Praying for him.. Love from Sanjay

@lilyzhang6849

2 ай бұрын

Same here😢