You are so right to not make someone a priority until & unless they do the same for you

I keep dating people who tell me they want something more, but then eventually confess they can't give it to me, and "You're great, but.." they're not emotionally available in some way. They tell me I deserve to be with someone who wants me 100%. It's making me a bit cynical because at one point, I thought they would be able to give me that. What changed? How do I approach this differently in the future, it's making me more guarded.

@susane945

14 күн бұрын

Unfortunately 95% of all men out there in dating la la Land are arseholes. And Narcissistic ones at that. And the older you get the worse THEY get! Just all forms of toxic, separated men who really are still connected to their exes or current wives (who they are separated from). And of course their kids. So you're likely to be about 3rd-5th on their priority list after their wife, ex, kids, job and male friends.

@rebelwithacause2229

14 күн бұрын

Hi. When they state they tell you they “want something more”, do you ask them to be specific and break down exactly what they mean and what their definition is of “want something more”?

@kc17131

14 күн бұрын

Maybe they found out something about you that broke their attraction/trust/values :) good luck!

@zero1188

14 күн бұрын

Usually that means they are dating other people. Or you did something they didnt like. It depends on

@Valerie-mw6ih

14 күн бұрын

True, same with me. What I do now, is that I ask explicitly and in detail what the person is searching for at the begging, and make them name everything. And then if this changes, then same procedure again. Explicitly name reasons (or inability to do so) helps me to move on from situations that don’t work anymore. You cannot avoid them, but you can choose not to get stuck and move on.

I wish women would take this message to heart I have known/seen many women talk about how "hot chemistry/attraction" is the key, only to have everything crash and burn...and repeating it over and over. It's even funnier when women in my older demographic keep falling into the trap. Probably explains all the pickup advice for men concentrating on "hot/chemistry/charisma".

Truth is you can’t avoid a player. That risk just comes with dating. I believe Matthew is being genuine and these tips may help a bit, but a true player will always figure out a way. The only way to avoid being played is to not play at all(ie, avoid someone you suspect or avoid dating all together). I think this is why women go on “healing journeys” until they’re ready for the risk…..but the very nature of dating requires you to take risk. You have to have the heart and strength to keep trying despite heart break.

@Itsbiggerthanhiphop

2 күн бұрын

This is so true. Also things are not black and white. Some people are open to relationships but have ‘player tendencies’ and some people are not open to a relationship and don’t act like a player at all. Being willing to take a risk and get hurt is bravery in dating and it’s about communicating and showing up for yourself that keeps you feeling secure no matter what the outcome is.

I've been single & celibate for 7 years but am ready to start dating again after I move. I don't want to call it "dating" specifically, but just getting to know different guys & putting myself out there. I'm at the point now where I will initiate a convo or interaction with someone but I want to be chased. I feel like as a woman it's the mans job to do the pursuing because the sperm chases the egg & I want to be his #1 choice if that makes sense. I'm not going to put my effort, emotions & energy into a man who isn't crazy about me if he has other women he's interested in. I want to be the 1st woman on his mind & that he wants, not just because I'm there but because he genuinely is interested & wants to pursue. I want to know that I'm his 1st choice, not just that he likes the attention he's getting from me. A lot of people don't even really like you, they just like the attention you give them. I want us both to be equally crazy about each other but I will not show that to a man if I feel like he's not interested in me. I will just move on.

@AndyKing1000

11 күн бұрын

This way you might find a liar. Someone who will tell you how special you are and the only one, and all you want, and then you'll be dumped later. How do you intend to avoid that?

@bunnyliberationfront

10 күн бұрын

Ultimately it is the egg who chooses the sperm. Just saying 😊

@rusathimarchal7457

9 күн бұрын

If we are hv so many quality desire by men than we can ask all of that too... :) 😀 well said ..but if not ?

Matthew’s videos get to me more than my $100/therapy session at 39/widow I was so naive when I started dating a year ago I end in a FWB at my big age 😭 thank God I found your videos. I want more and I was blind by the attraction and sex. Now I’m 28 days no-contact and I’m getting more confident every passing day.

5:37 Would he give MEN the same advice??? I am all about giving men I am not instantly attracted to a chance. But when it’s ALWAYS women and NOT men who are given that advice. And notice he said “let’s give other GUYS a chance.” There is a double standard. It’s not right.

@denisesmith8657

Күн бұрын

So true. And “lowering the bar” on men when men are raising the bar on their expectations of women is not good advice. Men will verbally tear a woman up over any flaw but expect her to accept anything he gives or doesn’t give her without consideration for her feelings.

I’m really liking these new clips with your brother!

This video was just amazing❤ as always! Thank you Matthew🙏☺️

Beautifully said/explained! Thank you!

Just when I needed it !

We are such different people when we connect with different people. Yes 🙌 always check in on what someone brings out in you by the way of your unique connection together

@CarmenZepeda-yu5no

14 күн бұрын

You are in point. Some people shapeshift their performance accord with who is infront (fake by the way) because the impresion on you. After a while of dealing with someone, I described the aspects that liked on one man to a male friend, he opened their eyes like plate. He knew him. How did you arrive that he is on that way? he asked me; Your describing him the opposite that he is. I thought my friend was joking on me until I arrived to an office (2 Doors entrance) few weeks later entrance without him noticing me and I watched first hand his behavior. Totally different person with the people on office. He was mirroring me!!!

@CarmenZepeda-yu5no

14 күн бұрын

I think that obviously there will be people or circumstances that require fit behavior but someone real will be the same anywhere.

@OneNightSoiree

5 күн бұрын

Thats absolutely correct

Thank you for letting me know all this advice really❤

I suppose, when they say that they can’t give you what you deserve, it’s a polite request from them for you to eff off. It will go downhill from there if you don’t take the hint. Cruel, I know. That’s why I’m not dating for now. Can’t take the brutality of the market.😢

@danicaharley6273

14 күн бұрын

The right guy won't think of excuses and find problems

@CarmenZepeda-yu5no

14 күн бұрын

Keep dating, if you exist bet that is someone in the other side of this jungle-world thinking just the same as you about dates....and looking for someone like you. 🔭

@mana-uv7cz

13 күн бұрын

@@CarmenZepeda-yu5noI don’t think I can take it anymore I tried to go on a date and stomach churned. I felt so anxious.

@CarmenZepeda-yu5no

13 күн бұрын

@@mana-uv7cz I see. Then do not force it, take a dating rest and focus at you and enjoy yourself. Hobbies, friends, nature, travel, volunteer, movies, family....or whatever that re-loads your life battery. Take good care of yourself first.

@licornaariana

10 күн бұрын

Take your self to a date first. Fall in love for yourself first and this will make you fearless. Beside the question "do you love your self" I think it's also important "how do you love your" ...

Dear Matthew, I am always greatful when watching your videos and your advices always make a lot of sense and really helped me in the last 5 months after a lot of heartbreaking stuff going on in my life! I am 61 and it's not that easy loving 'my human' , as you have put it so wonderfully in one of your videos and finding someone to love and to be loved! But you really help me keeping my spirit ! So again: Thank you❣ and all the best to you and Audrey! 🌈☀️ Linda from Germany 🦋

@abekabe678

13 күн бұрын

Cute message

Everything you said hit home with me.

Some people are great in sales and marketing of themselves. To be around them, to count on them is quite another story. Don't give too much weight to the superficial and temporary.

Attraction is important, but should develop slowly, based on what you learning about the other person and history you are making together. Instant attraction should always raise red flags and be vetted.

Good morning 🥰🥰🥰💛

@debraosorio1144

14 күн бұрын

Who are you?

who thought for the first 5.minutes of the vid thought the: 1) 23yr old was male and the 38yr old was female . or 2) the 23yr old was female and 38yr old was male.

The key for a woman if a guy gets nervous around you gets social anxiety he probably wants you to be the one, or he’s crazy 🤣 but if you use sex as a way to keep his interest in a relationship before a genuine connection and bonding on a mental level he will think that being physical will be the highlight of the relationship. Granted you could have sex and he might be so attracted to you physically that he wants to call it quits on looking for another mate. There’s a couple factors some people are players and some people are hurting from previous relationships and are players of the moment to numb their pain, so you could just have great or bad timing.

How the heck did you drag your brother into your work 🤔 my brother just treats me like I’m an idiot lol 😂

My problem is… I find most men not attractive 😔 and I know it’s bad and everything

@claudiaReyna324

14 күн бұрын

Same😔

@whoopdeedoo876

14 күн бұрын

Same, and I'm not into women that way. So not many options.

@abekabe678

13 күн бұрын

Bruh you guys are something else 😂 I find most women attractive, that's my problem

@sheezy2526

13 күн бұрын

@@abekabe678 Lol the funniest shit is people who say these types of shit themselves look like Jabba the hut.

@abekabe678

13 күн бұрын

@@sheezy2526 you are absolutely right, if Jabba met me he'd be confident after

👏🏻👏🏻

Ah Matt you are wrong on this one. I know many people who have great character. But i dont want to be in relationahip with them. Chemistry/ Atraction is the difference between a frienship and a romantic partner.

The carpet should be under your feet

@kathleenhebert2278

2 күн бұрын

😂

Can we please discuss the multiple people dating in more depth in future? I get the point of not overinvesting and all. BUT this is purely an american invention. I have many international friends, and all agree that the fact that we normalize sleeping with many people and constantly starting relationships not "normal" in any other culture. Whena woman started kissing/ dating a man back in the day, she had every right to be upset and have a conversation if he was discovered to kiss another woman and vica versa. This frantic rotation yields that all conversations are surface level nonody invests in nobody, people can't even remember names of who they are dating right now. Their friends can't keep up either and don't bother asking, just smile. Women and men do it these days. I don't understand how a connection, let alone falling in love, happens when faces, bodies and names are plural and in constant rotation.is our brain capable of attaching to that many people?

YES !!!

Are correlative with peter pan gamers 😅

Men need to mean what they say and say what they mean. Dithering is not confident...

Admiration ..level one Mutual attraction (chemistry, connection..... something that draws you together) level 2 Commitment (if you are willing to commit to a relationship;is that person into it too?) NOTE : Its bad to value level 2 and not put importance to level 3. You needn't lower the bar of level 3. Attributes to determine if someone should walk through the door. It's not want we want but what our soul want should be more important to us. For a relationship to move on perfectly , you need : Connection Intention Investment A relationship that is extraordinary is not found but its built; and its built by two people. When dating the right person Desire to be expressive Sense of humour My heart The physical attraction doesn't last but choosing and loving someone for who they are. It's about

What about being told one have to get to know God first. Because he wants to live according to Bible principles. But his bull...life doesn't even come close to that..its to run as far away possible from that person...true or not...

@Mariediaz711

13 күн бұрын

Mmm it’s not bull you just don’t hold his values. That’s ok.

@sheezy2526

13 күн бұрын

Ohh shut it

Woman at the end talking doesn’t want kids or to get married? Why would anyone date her other than they’re lonely? Red flag to me

@elizabethg7806

13 күн бұрын

She found someone who that was a green flag for. You learn something every day, huh?

@evawebster1518

13 күн бұрын

@@elizabethg7806 I don't see a future for them - not because of their lack of interest in having children, but because dealing with someone like her, so focused on her superficial beauty, get very tiresome in time.

@VocalGymnast

13 күн бұрын

Red flag lol Marie and her husband Josh are super successful and have been married like almost 20 years now. No future…need to do some research bud

@elizabethg7806

13 күн бұрын

@@evawebster1518 You have limited self-awareness with little ability to see outside your own small world, and people with little to no self-awareness project a lot. You also sound like a fortune teller.