Two of my favorite things therapists have told me are "PTSD is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances" and "Mental illness is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of having had to be too strong for too long."

@LivingItUp810

Жыл бұрын

Man, that’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing 🥰

@YouilAushana

Жыл бұрын

Yep, I was put through way too much trauma and it just caused me to shut down. "The body keeps the score" is such a stupid horrible book that really didn't provide answers.

@theflowerhead

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing.

@musselchee9560

3 ай бұрын

"...too strong for too long". Yep. Been at it for decades; mentally running, ducking for cover, keep a low profile, stuck on the carousel of the downward spiral, was full of hate, anger and frustration. Unfortunately now, for the rest of the population, I have embraced my strengths and tend to now call doomsayers out but I am gentle when I think it's deserved or when I need a break.

@mrs.antihero

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing that. 🥲

I wish other people could understand this about those of us who struggle with trauma. I spent too many years believing that my freeze response was just me being lazy. I still deal with others treating me that way, including my parents.

@MendedLight

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. Society's ignorance about these things is something we're working to combat here.

@milescrume6248

5 ай бұрын

@mschrisfrank2420 Have you tried Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy? It’s a successful, evidence-based therapy that I’m doing to heal second-hand trauma. It’s awesome. May it help you too

I get break lights whenever people ask me to correct my behavior, even for small things like having a water bottle out in a food and drink free library. I couldn't understand why I started crying during math class in high school after I answered a question wrong. Through therapy I have realized how often child me was pinned down and hurt in the name of "discipline." Thanks for these videos; they are helpful for healing. I am also a Cinema Therapy fan.

@MendedLight

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Starflower! I'm glad our videos our helping in your healing journey!

I've wondered for some time if I have CPTSD, but struggled with the idea that the things I went through were "not traumatic enough". I'm very calm 99% of the time but I'll have very strong emotional reactions to seemingly innocuous things which cause me to try and completely shut down and off from people. I'm pretty good at catching myself when I'm doing it these days but it's frustrating and can cause me to go in a spiral of abandonment fears or thinking I'm going insane. Days that I have this badly I'll try and leave the house for a walk, I do find seeing other people go about their lives can be grounding. Videos like this definitely help too

@ange76prkr

2 жыл бұрын

I feel that way too, these videos are great. I find it hard to draw boundaries with my Dad as I get older. I try to understand that he's of a different generation but it is horrible dealing with this alone. Knowing about others experiencing the same thing helps, it's a way of connecting and feeling accepted.

@ep3223

2 жыл бұрын

There's a KZread channel called The Crappy Childhood Fairy, she talks about CPTSD. I found it interesting and she's mindful of triggers.

@GriffinStitches

2 жыл бұрын

A therapist friend of mine told me last week "trauma is not a contest", so there is no such thing as your "trauma not being traumatic enough" because it is all about how it affects YOU and your responses, which is valid regardless of what you went through and how you might think it "compares" to others

@multimalves

Жыл бұрын

I relate to you, guys. Right now I'm laying down on the couch. I was meant to be working at a project, I got the responsibility, my mom is counting on me, and I told people yesterday and told myself what I'd do today. But I woke up and cried. There's so much anger and other feelings inside me. I really didn't want to go out and do what I should. Yesterday I was feeling like this but I ended up convincing myself to go. Today I was with my partner and cried, he supported me, he suggested me to do it but less, and I'm still deciding if I'm going or not. I'm not sure what to do, or how I can see things. I'm not pushing me but I feel bad about not being able to stand responsibilities idk. I'm building my "confidence" memory bank, with lots of situations where I proceed I'm trustworthy and competent. Still those moments makes me afraid if I'm really able to succeed and achieve the stuff I want. Actually I think the problem is my expectations. I want those things for a valid reason, but wanting to be glorious and great and etc get in the way and stresses me. All my body is tense, I feel stuff I don't know where come from. I know my nervous system is messed up, but how to know what is normal or not. I feel bad cause I know I couldn't live the life most people live, and feel bad that my partner needs to live a life I don't want to myself, working 8-6. I want to be able to support him as he supports me. But those times I feel unable to help myself It's hard to explain stuff, there's much more nuances on my thoughts, more sides. And I really don't think someone can say to me something new. Im being compassionate to myself, taking it slow, being grateful for the people who loves me and all my improvements so far. I know it's just a moment. And I'm working on grounding. I'm just really curious to find the reason to it, what the fuck is my deep wound, like, what is the feelings I can't stand to the point I feel those feelings I don't like. I know I have this anger...I put my fingers on it for a moment. It's big...and I'm really afraid of me. But more than afraid, I want to have access to this power. I need this energy. Maybe that's what I'm hiding. This anger that wants to kill, destroy and fight. My lack of energy is because I'm suppressing it. I want to use this energy to create, to make what I want, to build a better life for those I love. I want to feel able to fight, able to protect myself, to hurt people I want to have the power to destroy But then after those moments, I forget and go back to my life of small struggles and paranoia....

@ThePurpleCatofChaos

8 ай бұрын

There's no such thing as something "not being traumatic enough". If something(s) affected you negatively mentally/emotionally/ or physically, that's trauma. People (not you) need to stop this competition of "who has/had it worse". Bad is bad, and it will mess you up.

I had the most horrific flashback from decades ago .....Only those who have experienced this can understand the re living of this. . Thank you for this video

I think the most difficult part is when you try to talk to people and they say things like "yeah, but that's in the past" or "you're not a kid anymore, you should move on". Who wants to open up after that?

this hit so close to home i couldn't finish watching, but thank you for making this sort of content! i found this channel through Cinema Therapy -- big fan~

@MendedLight

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Jessie! We are so grateful when Cinema Therapy fans find us on this channel! We're here tp support you in anyway we can in your journey from healing from trauma. Recognize it is a journey and where you are at today is just perfect for you!

@SaarLeestMee

2 жыл бұрын

It can be confronting doesn't it. One day i am sure you'll be able to listen to it all and it will lose a bit of it's controle. I still cry beginning to end but i feel more understood and more in control after. I hope we can all just enjoy moments without a shaduw somewhere near.

This made me cry. This is how I feel everyday. Like I’m out of control, like inside of me is this horrible war being fought and I’m trying to suppress it. I feel like I’m waiting for the next bad thing and my mind assaults me with horrible thoughts. Things that could happen and I can’t control any of it. I am so stressed all the time. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m drowning . I just want it to stop. I just want it to stop so much.

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. That sounds overwhelming to say the least. Would you like a complimentary 15 minute call with one of our therapists? go.oncehub.com/Jessicam. If you don't get help from us, please get help somewhere.

@IsaacFinance

2 жыл бұрын

Hey what's your Instagram I have a similar issue want to talk

@lolly5657

Жыл бұрын

I was the very same for most of my life. It's only been two months I feel like I have lifted my head out of the water and I started therapy. I feel more at peace with who I am. But I am still triggered. My husband is also helping me notice when I am starting to get that overwhelmed feeling a step away and take care of me. It's a work in progress. But after over 22 years I can say I am starting the journey to being better. The thing is sometimes you need that gasp of air to realise what help you need

@melanielukeman8407

Ай бұрын

so me to I feel so like you x

@sw2264

Ай бұрын

❤

I came to this channel after binge watching “Cinema Therapy” for a week. Jonathan had one episode where he talked about “Real Love and Post Childhood Stress Disorder” by Greg Baer. I had determined that I probably had PTSD from my past but didn’t have a full understanding of what that all meant. I was brought into this world with a mom and sister who have manic OCD, a dad with anger issues and alcoholism, paternal grandma with multiple personality disorder, paternal grandfather with who is a ranging alcoholic, and maternal grandparents who passed away during a pivotal time in my childhood development. My maternal grandparents death hit me harder than many can comprehend because in a world of “crazy” they were my sense or normalcy and were the only two that loved me unconditionally, especially my maternal grandmother. Growing up I had to care for my mom and sister while my dad went to work. I was not only the home caretaker but also the emotional support for my father starting at the age of 8; I’m 30 now. I was told I was the problem in the family (despite my efforts to everything right), not a trusted member of the family, and told repeatedly that no one loved me or I didn’t love the family. This criticism got worse as I got older and eventually moved away to the other side of the country. I developed a uncontrollable tactics or “freeze” and dissociation. I went through a series of sexual partners, many of which were rapes or abusive boyfriends and eventually a divorce, jobs, living locations, etc. always searching for anyone or anything that would accept me for me but never found it. In 2019, my mom attempted suicide multiple times with narcotics and later explained that I was one of the contributing factors. I have been in and out of therapy trying to understand how to break my spiraling cycle of my hell. But nobody ever noticed because I was always running and always displaying acts of greatness despite my crippling fears and constant running. Today, I am deployed and what I find interesting is the attacks I am experiencing on base do not affect me but rather my coworkers not trusting me or outcasting me triggers me more. What I have learned, reading Greg Baer’s book, is I am not a problem and if I can love myself unconditionally it won’t matter if others do not. That being said I am a far cry from finding a sense of belonging or being able to handle the traumas I have endured but knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I can create my own happiness not based on rewards or approvals is the light I follow. Thank you Jonathan for giving me resources to help me understand and work through my life. I look forwards to a day where I can wake up and know that this life is my greatest masterpiece and not my biggest regret. Still searching for that one partner I can share my life with (my number one goal in life) but I now know that by loving myself unconditionally, I can extend that love to another and not constantly be searching for my Prince Charming to save me and take me away.

@estherann7407

Ай бұрын

I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. Sadly, I can relate. I often wish there was a way that SO many of us could sit & visit over coffee, share our story, give & receive healthy hugs, and share the bliss of a non-threatening environment.❤ “Spiraling cycle of hell”…I’m going to put that comment with “living in the Twilight Zone” and “trying to make sense of a really bad nightmare”. All the best to you Megan.

I was bullied relentlessly for a year and a half from the age of 7 to the age of 9, ish because I wanted to be friends with both boys and girls, as a teenager I almost couldn't be in the same room as women, and as a 35 year old man I still haven't been in a relationship, even being seen socializing with women is a brake light for me. A few years ago I was offered therapy for free while studying (my doctor referred me for my depression), and I can now watch movies without having to fast forward through the romantic parts, that was a huge thing for me. I don't think I'll ever get to a place where relations, love etc are realistic but I am actively looking for a therapist.

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

go.oncehub.com/JonathanDecker. Schedule a 15-minute call with me and I'll see if I can point you in the right direction :) Thank you for being vulnerable here. I'm so sorry for all the garbage you went through.

@thelogan4641

2 жыл бұрын

@@MendedLight Thank you, I am in Denmark (Europe), so I suspect that the networks of therapists you know aren't really all that relevant to me though :) My takes currently is it ought to be with a therapist that I can connect with, someone who has experience in treating childhood trauma and probably within the branch of Cognitive behavioural therapy. Actually a quick question, someone I know suggested something called the Lefkoe method, which I'm pretty sceptical about. apparently a few studies were done at the university of Arizona, by a now deceased Professor Lee Sechrest. Anyway, it triggers my internal BS alarm, especially the way that proponents seem almost cult-like in their support for it, anyway if you've heard of it before, is it hokum? 😅 Also, is my take on CBT being the better route, good or should I be looking in a different direction do you think? :)

@TheShamuraja

2 жыл бұрын

Look into Elliott Hulse. Might want to Form a new identity instead of just fortifying the trauma. Usually talking about it doesn't help but only makes the same neurons stronger. Look into neutoplascitity and strength training

@musselchee9560

3 ай бұрын

I suggest you to read, read, read. Read predominantly non-fiction: biographies, history, nature, science. I don't recommend too many self-help books although one I do recommend is 'The Power of Suffering: Growing Through Life Crises' by Psychologist David Roland. Like alot of these types of books they are full of their clients stories, with the emphasis placed on their authors' ego. David's book is different in that all his clients are highly educated, intelligent and articulate people. (NB. Steer clear of dr phil's books.) Other recommended reading: Being A Brainwise Therapist: A practical guide to interpersonal neurobiology, by Bonnie Badenoch; The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R Covey; The Awakened Brain, by Lisa Miller. The biography "Educated" by Tara Westover, and the novel "The Unseen" by Norwegian writer Roy Jacobsen, and see if you can fully appreciate the enigmatic title. The Unseen is the first of four in a series but a complete novel in itself. And mind your steps.

Therapy and yoga - two things that help me to cope with trauma

I never heard about the freeze state being even more fundamental than fight or flight before. I tend to get it in some social situations where I feel very unwanted by a person that is important to me - I just never realised it was quite probably an even worse level of trauma than I thought. My ex actually felt slighted because he kept asking me what was wrong and I literally could not tell him. Even if I had know the precise issue, I was/am physically unable to talk in that state. More people should know about this sort of issue. Negative reactions to being in that state end up making it so much worse.

I have had all 3 reactions mentioned in the video. I have suffered on several occasions psychological violence, threat of physical violence, manipulation, gaslighting. When I have seen things similar to this, I have reacted by running from the place, or shutting down, because I couldn't escape, whether by locking myself in some place like a bathroom, a car, unable to function, reason, simply trembling or in extreme fear. I have had panic attacks when I was in places where I experienced situations of chronic violence, where my body and mind could no longer take being there. I just wanted to run. I hurted myself, not eating well, not moving from my bed, not speaking, being a zombie. I had to quit my job a few years ago, because I put up with things like that for too long. I have had people in my life who, knowing this information, used it to hurt me even more or manipulate me. The vast majority do not understand what this is. They believe that the simple will, will make you feel better. That you will be better with time. There are people who can do it. I tried, but I couldn't. And after failing at that, my way of trying to help myself was to ask for help. It was to go to the psychologist, where I went from being more or less stable to beginning a serious depression. From that, to recommending me that I needed go to the psychiatrist, where I began to take medicine, to help me along with therapy, to be better. It has been and still is a long road. Sometimes I feel better, I have managed to leave behind the daily nightmares, sleeping badly, getting up badly and being in a constant position of defense. I have learned, constantly falling into the same patterns at times, that I do not deserve to be treated badly, and that I have the right to be surrounded by people who give me positive things, and not violence. I have learned to say no. Something simple for other people, but it was not for me. I have always put other people above me, and sometimes I still do. But I learned to say no, and to set limits. And many people, faced with this, made me feel bad, were violent, or told me that it was because "I didn't love them." Those people were being violent and manipulative with me, again. Today, I have managed to get away from those people. I'm still in treatment. I'm still learning. I'm not 100% fine, because I still have relapses, but I'm better. I can say no without feeling bad. I can set limits without feeling bad. I can stand up for myself. And that makes me feel like I've moved on, at least a little. There is still a long way to go, but I know that little by little, I am on the right track. This video has made me understand one of the mechanisms that I have had. The one with shut down. The one of putting together pieces of why, since I know it wasn't for one thing, it was for everything, suddenly, coming out of a "box" of my mind, coming back out. Once again. Thanks for these videos. To all the people who are dealing with this, and who relapse, I tell you that it is difficult, and there are good, bad and very bad days, that it is a long journey and that sometimes you feel that tomorrow is not worth it. But I recommend asking for help. It's okay to ask for help. You have endured so much, that your mind is trying to fight and take care of those bad things that you have experienced. Try to seek help that makes you feel better, in my case it was therapy, getting away from the people who hurt me, little by little, and if any alarm appeared from people who I realized had the same patterns that can hurt me, try to get away. All this is done little by little. It is taking me years, but I am rebuilding myself little by little. Is not easy. Sometimes I think, that I will have to deal with this takes my life. But at least I'm learning to be better little by little. I hope that you can and can be better. I hope you can get through the bad and dark days. The days of storms in your mind. The days where you feel like you don't want to fight anymore. that you are tired I still have days like this. But I'm trying to get over them. I hope you can too. Again, thank you for theses videos.

I'm only recently beginning to understand the trauma I went through as a child in a pentecostal church. I don't struggle with fears of eternal damnation from leaving. I used to be trapped in church for hours, and brought in front of prophets/apostles who'd yell and shake me until I was suitably possessed by the Spirit. There's not a lot to read about experiences like mine. But thankfully the mindfulness practices still apply and am hopeful to feel better in time.

@age93

26 күн бұрын

I experienced similar religious abuse, but I was shaken and yelled at more in an exorcism context. Learning about scrupulous OCD helped, but I still have a seething disgust towards religion.

The Body Keeps The Score is a life changing book! It’s helped me a ton in dealing with the trauma I have and continue to experience daily. EMDR, therapy, getting enough sleep, healthy boundaries and expectations, noticing my anxiety spiraling and reaching out, meditation, being honest with those around me about my triggers and possible/likely reactions and taking my meds have all helped. Nothing has kicked it, but I’m in a better place than I was a year ago, and a year before that, and a year before that.

I've recently been struggling with my past trauma of domestic violence in my childhood and it's always made me ashamed and gave me anxiety of not being enough. A couple triggers in school recently have made moving through life harder and I'm still confused on how to process everything. I didn't really think that I could be struggling with PSTD long after the traumatizing events have occured, or that I was just being lazy or a coward for not moving on with my life. Over the years, I've built a life and I'm happy with it, but sometimes it's still really hard not to curl up and hide. When I do feel scared, hopeless, or overwhelmed, these videos are a big help in me understanding what's happening to my mind is a real issue that I didn't make up. Thank you for putting this content out there, it really does make a difference.

I have fibromyalgia and after I learned about the physical affects of my past trauma, everything made sense.

I recently discovered that despite how well I've been doing I am not fully healed. I had a co worker yell at me and essencially tell me that I was being irresponsible and lazy for cleaning something (that needed to be cleaned mind you) instead of helping our with making the food (it was a slow day). This instantly brought me back to memories of my abuser telling me I was immature, incompetent, lazy and selfish. Every since then this person who brought this ptsd response has become a massive trigger for me. I quit because of him. My boss begged me to come back and said they would fire him, so I decided to stay on but he still comes around a lot. I have never had a person be a trigger before. It's actually a lot scarier now because people are unpredictable unlike a song I can avoid.

We hope you enjoyed this video! Leave us a comment and let us know!

@debharti

3 жыл бұрын

How do you deal with this kind of trauma....which happened in the past, however the remnants can still felt.

Personally I haven’t experienced a trauma like this but I truly want to learn and understand what unfortunately many people have experienced. I am going to be a foster parent so learning about trauma will hopefully help me understand and work with kids in the system. Thank you for this very informative video.

@leahcompton2522

2 жыл бұрын

The Body Keeps the Score, the book he was quoting from in this video, is a great resource for a person just starting the fostering journey. The Connected Child is also a good resource. I would also suggest a good support group. We (my family) fostered for several years. We could not have done it without a great group of people around us.

Lately my past traumas have crept back into my life. I realized my family are the “break lights” and have slowly stepped away to deal with the traumas before I can be comfortable with talk to them. Thanks for the videos. They help me to explain some of the stuff I don’t seem to have words for the people in my life who support me :)

@MendedLight

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for allowing us to be apart of your healing journey. So often in adulthood past trauma does come up, often because you are in a safe place to start healing. Show yourself love and understanding in this journey. We believe in you!

I’m really grateful for all the comments on this video from people willing to share their stories; it’s really helped me to come to some realizations about my own healing journey from past trauma, and helped me to let go of the shame that I was putting on myself because I wasn’t acting “normal” according to how those around me perceived things. So thank you, random internet people; I really love you guys ❤️

I have experienced 3 pretty traumatic events in my life and each one left me with a new autoimmune disease. It's just incredible to me that our bodies do this.

I think I'm still trying to wrap my head around...well...my head. Maybe it was the value placed upon selflessness in church, or how I grew up as an only child who almost never broke the rules. I tend to tear up when watching movies that have to do with loss or songs about the pain of loving and losing it. I'm highly empathetic and put the emotions of others before my own. It's been like that all my life. But now, I think these things are triggering the lack of selfless love I felt. When being told to love the world and to treat others as you wish to be treated, not having much in return wore at my heart over the years. I remember a quote I heard about highly sensitive/creative people that really resonated with me, "To them, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death." It explains why in middle school some found it abnormal how well I treated my best friends. I've never been in a relationship and I don't regret it. Any crushes I had in school was mere idolization and I won't force myself into a relationship. It's lonely, but I have resolved to wait until I find someone I...you know... like before getting into a relationship. It just gets really hard sometimes

I cried... no, I bawled my eyes out the entire video. I didn’t know I was passed the two stages and I feel myself disassociating from everyday life and the things that I loved that made me who I was.

Hi Jonathan, I appreciate you made this video and I was looking forward to watching it. However, the music is too loud and I find it difficult to concentrate on what you are saying. Would it be possible to lower the volume of the music for other videos? I really want to process what you are saying and understand.

I found a wonderful therapist after I fell into such a deep state of depression and physical illness that a friend was frightened for me and referred me to my current therapist who, incidentally told me about Ask A Therapist after I told her about Cinema Therapy! Within our first session, she diagnosed me with CPTSD and yes, I have Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Auto-immune issues and severe IBS. This is after years of misdiagnoses and frequent accusations from my mother of hypochondria. I was 3 1/2years old when I experienced abuse for the fisrt time - this was ongoing, again at 10 years old, at 15, 18-21 and then 30 years with a man who added verbal, emotional and financial abuse because I didnt know I could have boundaries. I have been in therapy for 20 months and I am just starting to heal. My therapist listens, and like you, understands. When I am triggered now, I tend to binge on Cinema Therapy. And from today, I also have Mended Light to add to my weekly therapy sessions. Thank you so much for what you do. I doubt you truly know the difference you are making to people like me who have had very little support over a very long period of time.

@estherann7407

Ай бұрын

@MicheleBurstein I had to scroll back to the top of your comment to see if I had written this and later forgotten. That happens to me all the time, I have amnesia due to CPTSD. Your story is parallel to mine. I’m sorry for what you have gone through, life is so much more challenging than it should be. I wish you all the best Michele. Sending you a huge virtual hug!

This is a really great resource for people, but I wish you'd mentioned another coping mechanism that trauma can produce: fawning. It's life changing to understand that freezing is a natural reaction, but I found it equally freeing to understand that fawning can be another learned behavior to help minimize the damage.

Going to a therapist and not being acknowledge for this adds to the trauma.

A few years ago, my infant almost suffocated in his bed. I found him, pale and limp, begging my husband to resuscitate him. I quit my job weeks later , got into a car accident. Almost divorced my husband and lost motivation in daily life. I realized there was so much more trauma under the surface so that day everything fell around me. Being a parent hasn’t made healing easy. The effects of that near-death experience still hits me hard. Writing about it puts all of these things into perspective. But for me, I have to take it one day at a time. Or I panic and stagger behind my commitments, distance myself from loved ones. Finding Mended Light and Cinema Therapy has been the starting point of healing.

"no one else sees the breaks" frick man that line got me good. I'm actually not sure I was ready to watch this video but I couldn't get myself to pause it for later.

The music is too loud. Pls have it quieter in the videos

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

Later videos have made the adjustment :)

@c.l.flores2864

2 жыл бұрын

Could this video be adjusted?

@jilyyyyy.

Ай бұрын

the sound can be fixed in your phone settings. also the subtitle could help :)

I've been diagnosed with CPTSD and what helped me was getting an emotional support animal. Really my dog was the only one that knew something was going on with me, but was quick to react without judgement. My therapist suggested it after I had a public melt down during a movie at the theater. I was beyond embarrassed, but also couldn't help it. I was right back in that situation and felt terrified and powerless. But by getting my independence back I very slowly over the years have been able to handle it a lot better. It took me about 20yrs to get where I am today, and I'm not fully healed, but I'd say I'm 80-90% better than where I was. I would never wish this on my worst enemy and to all those who are currently struggling hard, keep at it, it can get better you just need to give yourself some time. Also, this is never your fault.

@mouhamedamine7935

5 ай бұрын

Haw can regulate my nerves system

Wow. This is so helpful. I think I know more people with traumatic pasts than I ever realized.

@MendedLight

3 жыл бұрын

It is true, we often don't realize how so many are struggling with these challenges.

@alwaysapirateroninace443

3 жыл бұрын

Probably. But the good thing is there are so many out there like this who can help.

My life has had more excitement than I could say in a KZread comment. Thank you for making this channel.

I'm constantly saying to myself,is anything bad happening right now, bringing myself out of what my default node network part of my brain says,no way out,feel frozen in abject dispair, because that's what I lived during childhood. Seeing instead of reliving the grief takes a network of safe people,to see what I couldn't see, children cannot know how abandoned they are,but take on what is happening to them. We internalize the trauma and live in a false self.

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

So sad and so true.

@kevintempany6936

2 жыл бұрын

@@MendedLight we are rewiring our brain. The enormity of what happened ( to me and my family) comes into focus when you know you have CPTSD. My parents were children in there behavior

The shut down is real. I'm on a long journey of recovery from a childhood injury. My physical therapist said that the majority of work we need to do is reconnect my nervous system to the muscles that I simply haven't engaged in decades. The muscles are there (atrophied, but still) waiting for me to reconnect now that I'm mentally recovered enough to do so. Four months ago I walked with a cane and was cooking dinner from a wheelchair. I am already walking better than I have my entire adult life, no cane. That is simply because I have a physio who understands the nervous system disconnect that happens with trauma. We spent sessions activating muscles that have been dormant since my CPTSD trauma. *A stranger's understanding of how trauma affects the brain gave me the ability to walk without assistance.*

My ex said I couldn't have PTSD because I didn't fight in a war. Even when I was pregnant, I would tell him I knew what I was crying over was stupid but I couldn't stop the waterfall of tears. I asked him to hug me to reassure me everything was okay, however he refused because he "didn't want to coddle me". I fear how he treats our daughter when I'm not around...

@Jess-kn8vl

7 күн бұрын

He sounds like he is emotionally abusive. I hope you are okay.

I was raised by a narcissistic violent abusive father, and by the time I got fifteen, I was diagnosed with Miastenia Gravis, an neuromuscular autoinmune condition. Go figure, right?🤦 I've also been dealing with depression episodes. I suspect it started when I was a child, but got worst when I lost my aunt from cancer, who was like a twin to me, when she was only 39 and I, 17. Things got better eventually but still I'm dealing with consequences of trauma and poor raising skills. I really want to do it a whole lot better with my baby boy. Thank you for so many valuable resources ♥️

Wow. This helped me get into therapy. I shut down during 18 years of emotional and verbal abuse. I experienced and still struggle with an autoimmune disease. Triggers cause me to shut down, even if the person isn't being abusive. It is affecting my relationships with family members. This is 10 years after my abuser died of natural causes. I have an appointment with a counselor. The journey to healing begins.....

I had a TBI when I was 15 year old. I'm now 41 years. Now I listen to nature and Animals.

"Let your light shine, because the world needs it" or something along those lines where the words I heard in the first Mended Light video I watched. It hit me like a truck. Since then I am hooked to your channel. This video hit home for me. I felt broken and shattered for years, nearly a decade. Disconnected from feelings. Well, the sad or more negative feelings anyway. Whenever I started to feel my Trauma getting near, I would laugh and make jokes and push it away. Until I met my now husband. I actually told him that I am broken and my soul feels shattered while we were friends. So he knew what he was getting himself into. He supported me in finding a therapist. It took some time and effort. Effort that was nearly to much for me. But I finally got an appointment. And oh boy... Was I offended by the questions the lady was asking. How dare she rumage around in my shattered soul, seeking for my carefully pushed away Trauma. Until I actually scolded myself after the third or fourth session. I wanted help and she was willing to give it. I only had to grab her hand and let her help. After that, I jumped right in. During all this time, what was very important for me, was telling my then boyfriend - now husband - what I talked about in therapy after each and every session. So I would basically go through everything twice. Additionally, I would explain certain habits or reactions or thoughts throughout the day in analytical detail, so he would understand them. I was wide open and vulnerable. I was never afraid he would leave me. He was my rock. Even though I told him to leave me. On multiple occasions. Until he got really angry with me and scolded me. And told me he loved me like nobody else. I can not remember much of that time. Or the years since the Trauma. I stoped studying and lost 99% of my friends. I became a recluse, only really communicating with my boyfriend, family and therapist. My boyfriend took me to his friends. We talked, I liked them, but I was not ready for more, yet. I told him, I didn´t want to come. Half the time he dragged me out anyway. Fresh air, a shower, some make-up, company of people. Stuff my therapist recommended. Even if I just sat there and listened. It helped me out of my dark place. I began laughing again. Sometimes at least. I didn´t want to fall back into my bad coping mechanisms. But sometimes it just helped to push the sad feelings away and be happy for the day. Just to find joy in life again. And with time and thought and writing my pain away, I got better. Some days I would wake up not being sad about waking up. And that was a win. Even if the day went bad somewhere along the way, I started out more or less happy. I ate more fruits and veggies, went out with friends, found work and a Job I really enjoy. (The company was shit, but that is a topic for another video.) Even smiling if I am not in the mood to trick my brain into creating "The Happy" helps some days. If I can not get my brain to shut up at night, I listen to audiobooks to distract myself until I fall asleep. Telling myself I did a good job out loud and patting me on my own shoulder makes me feel good about myself. And strengthens my sense of selfworth. Listening to upbeat music on bad days (even though it may not tickle my fancy at that time), helps me get into a better mood. Writing short stories about fantastical worlds or people or my lovely Dungeons & Dragons nerds is wonderful and helps me put into words all the good in life my brain still refuses to believe on some days. Showing / Telling people when they hurt me, being open and honest with them has cost me a few relationships, but strengthened others immensly. Nowadays I am a very open and emotionally diverse person. I don´t try to hide behind happiness anymore. A fact that is making me happy in itself. The Trauma will never go away. It is part of my life and always will be. But my soul feels whole again.

Thank you, couldn't have discribed it better. Personally for me the hardest part is the division between Trauma survivors and other people. It would be so much easier if I wouldn't feel so alone. Just when I think I can finally connect to others my age something bad happens or a 'break light' appears. It feels like being chaind to a truck and having to drag it along everywhere you go. And you watch the others happily and easily surpass you. They are joking and laughing with each other. And you watch them from behind. Screaming for them to please wait for you, but no sound comes out. You try to touch them, but your hand passes right through.

Trauma has taken over my life. I’ve been able to overcome a lot of the stress but because I still have to deal with the source of my trauma it pops up over and over. I’ve developed Ms in 9 years ago. When this all started I was a mother of three. Long story. Now I’ve remarried and have an infant which I thoroughly enjoy. After 5 years of working on myself through meditation and your videos it has helped me tremendously. Thank you! I wish you were my therapist because I grown to love therapy. Talking to someone about my issues would help so much. I just realized after watching this video that I have a lot of unresolved trauma that I really wish would go away😢

@estherann7407

Ай бұрын

Have you tried Somatic exercises? There’s lot of KZread videos on the topic, they help tremendously. I wish you all the best Lauren.

I was abused and neglected by my parents for a very long time. I’ve now been away from my family for 5 years and I’m still retiring and healing. I cope by avoidance (not healthy, I know) but I’m working on it. I’ve also learned to recognize what triggers me and my responses and sometimes I can anticipate a triggering situation before it plays out and put myself mentally in a place to control my reactions and just breath and talk through it in my head. Sometimes I still explode or freeze but it’s getting better. I’m also able to better identify what I’m feeling and why so I can do something about it instead of letting it fester and bleed into my relationships with other people. I still need to actually go to therapy but I just haven’t found the courage yet to actually book an appointment.

Understanding really does lead to healing. When I was diagnosed with PTSD, it's like the windows were open and fresh air was finally allowed in for the first time. The road has been hard but it has been worth it.

As a kid, the best coping mechanism I had was reading--it gave me a way to escape the repetitive trauma of hospital visits/stays. My anxiety about needles and hospitals was usually too intense for dissociation to be an option. Oddly enough, I experienced dissociative episodes at home, in between visits. My theory is that this is due to the fact that the trauma started so early that my body was unable to differentiate when I was safe and when I wasn't.

My world stopped being trustworthy three times over last two years. Abusive relationship (and a divorce, fortunately), my best friend's betrayal. After I finally got divorced (with lawyers, because my ex was threatening me) I thought I can finally live my life, but I was turned off for a few months almost never escaping my apartment. I still have nightmares and hallucinations that I'm meeting my ex / my ex best friend, I literally see their faces in other people. But now I decided to act: I'm just going for a walk alone together with this fear, it doesn't stop me. My experience even just by walking around helps me to feel that I can trust this world again Thank you very much for these videos, I'm watching now a lot of it, because I'm ready to work. Also thank you Jono for the video "Invisible man" on the Cinema Therapy, that described pretty much how I felt

This is how I've been feeling exactly for the last 1.5 months and counting. I keep praying it'll just go away, but it's not, and I don't know what to do. It's making me consider horrible things to get away from it, but I don't know what else to do. Nothing else is working, and no one else gets it. ;A;

Holy bleep you just described my ibs and panic attacks while talking about the shutting down symptoms. I’ve never been able to explain this to a doctor properly or understood why it happens. To explain my trauma and symptoms briefly I was severely emotionally abused by my narcissist father and bullied terribly. I have general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, avoidant personality disorder. I thought that I’ve had IBS my whole life but now it appears to be an autoimmune disorder of Chron’s or colitis with a lovely debilitating chronic fatigue. But now after watching this video it seems clear that when I experience extreme anxiety my brain goes into the shut down mode. Probably because the freeze was my default response to abuse.

I have fibromyalgia, IBS, migraine, hypothyroidism (likely autoimmune), asthma... and C-PTSD. It's hard, I've put a lot of work into my mental health, but my body spent 18 years in trauma, and took another 10+ to start feeling safe, and it's done damage. I don't have flashbacks or panic attacks anymore (or, maybe one panic attack every few years), but my sleep cycle is jacked and if I remember my dreams, they're usually nightmares. What helps? Therapy, with a therapist who is a great fit (psychiatrist who does talk therapy as well as meds), meds when needed (I'm on an anti-depressant and some sleep stuff), and the life I have built out in the world. I'm not successful by a lot of folks' metrics, I am sick too often to hold a steady job, but my husband understood that better than I could accept initially, and we planned for 1 income. I have a partner who loves me deeply, I have a daughter who's amazing, and I have had so much time with her, parenting her because we didn't have to put her in daycare. Bad days happen, but they pass. Bad things happen, but I handle them and they, too, pass. One thing I do that seems to not be commonly recommended: if I am having an intrusive thought about X or Y disaster, I give my self some time and permission to walk through it: if it really did happen, how would I handle it? 5 minutes gives me 3 or 4 options and then I can move on, because while I can't truthfully tell myself they will never happen, I can tell myself that I have a plan. It takes much less time than trying NOT to think about it! And, I am great to have around in an emergency, because it doesn't faze me. (I do need to plan for a fair bit of intense processing and self-care time after any emergency when they do happen).

This hit really really close to home! I noticed my triggers are often related to smells or expressions on other people faces. Since I started to research and understand why this is happening I'm able to feel better and recover faster from the anxiety that comes after meeting this triggers. What helps me is that when I start feeling some sort of panic and anxiety apparently out of nowhere I ask myself "why? What triggered my brain?" And after I find the answer it allows myself to feel better. I'd really like if your videos would have italian subtitles (nor for me cause I understand English pretty good, but for other people who don't), I'd even willingly translate them (not for money, just for the sake of helping others) if it would be possible

I have yet to speak about my trauma with my therapist, because I have identified it as trauma only after experiencing a flashback. Luckily, I had already known some grounding techniques, so I was able to pull myself out rather quickly. But it brought me to a painful awareness that I am, indeed, traumatized. The first event was 6 years ago, and it all ended about 3 years ago. Yet only now have the symptoms manifested enough for me to acknowledge that I need help with this trauma specifically. Yesterday night I got triggered by one of the Cinema Therapy videos (only I am responsible for that), which led to me turning on the lights in the flat and searching the place thoroughly. I was terrified that my ex was somewhere in the flat (I still live in the place where it all happened, my childhood place of living). When I found out that I am, indeed, alone with my two cats, I was still so uneasy that I made myself stay up till dawn because I felt too vulnerable falling asleep in the dark. It’s tough, and I hope to work through it one day.

this is the first time I have ever heard someone say that when you are reliving your trauma without knowing, and you can feel angry, frozen, or afraid. It's nice to no longer be in the dark. 3:45

I appreciate you explaining how trauma can manifest differently in individuals. My dad went through a lot of trauma as a kid and he would shut down when i was a kid, usually not even speaking to me for 3-4 months at a time even though we lived in the same house. I'm a huge people pleaser as a result and I struggle with being honest about my feelings out of fear of rejection.

Oh my GOSH! I dissociate and I have ulcerative colitis and had no idea they were linked! A stressful childhood, a life fraught with pain, on top of my dad dying suddenly 2 years ago and my mom after a long, painful, traumatizing battle with cancer, has left me wrecked. My therapist told me to let the memories come but try to relax and talk to myself saying it's okay now. Thank you so much for explaining this in a way I've never understood before.

I already guessed I might have PTSD but yeah this explains a lot... Like a LOT. I'm not super good at coping with the mood swings/triggers if I'm honest. I just try to let myself feel my emotions unbridled when I'm alone and still wear them on my sleeve a bit around others. I've felt so much better to allow full emotional expression. The first time I allowed myself to be angry was interesting to say the least.

I was traumatized by three things to different degrees. 1) assaulted with a knife to my throat in my teens. 2) canoeing accident. 3) Adopted children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. They didn't want to heal though we took them to therapy. What has helped the most: time. My hands don't shake as much when I tell the story of the man with the knife. I've been canoeing since as I didn't want that experience to keep me from something I enjoyed. Time away from the kids as they are now adults. I'm also very analytical. The canoe thing gave me an interesting insight. Body/mind disconnect. You can't quit in the middle of a float trip. Every little jiggle made me grip the canoe with white knuckles. Even if I could see the water was only knee deep. My brain could say I was safe but my body was saying I was going to die.

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

Time really is the best healer, thank you for sharing your story. All the best for the future Gabrielle

@TheShamuraja

2 жыл бұрын

Also look into the vagus nerve. Look at body therapy. Touch and closeness can soothe and heal the bodily functions.

One thing that's helped me is trying to disconnect body anxiety from brain anxiety. For example, sometimes I notice my breathing get shallow and my heart start to race. Then my brain gets involved. "What's going on? What upset me? I'm not supposed to be feeling this way! Everything's okay! Stop being anxious for no good reason!" And by thinking like that, my brain only adds to the drama and stress. Instead, I try to think to myself "My body's being a little irrational again. How silly and annoying." Then I do my breathing exercises and it brings me back to normal. But this only works for small PTSD episodes

One month ago I was pregnant an I lost my child (week 7, still early, it can happen, I know but it still hurts). This is still affecting me and I don't know what is normal grieve or when I should get help. Sometimes the sadness comes out of nowhere and at work mostly male people expect me to "get over with it and try again". This happening after over 2 years of pandemic is harsh. I was mentally tired out from this situation and the political situation here in Europe with Ukrainian war. It is just hard to ignore the world and try to focus on my own issue. As you mentioned in a video before - there is no olympics for trauma but sometimes I feel I have no right to be sad... I needed to get this out. Thank you for listening

Trauma has affected my Life drastically! I've been through NDE when I was a baby of 6 days, been abandoned Emotionally by my Parents, been through break ups and been through Depression and Traumas........ Why I was BORN😢😢😢😢

This was very informative, thank you. I used to cope with my trauma by drinking, a lot. I drank for 7 years, and then I was saved by Jesus. Now, I get through my days trying to learn about what happened to me, I have a workout routine, and I am mindful of what I’m eating. Some days are harder than others, and I struggled for a long time until I met my fiancé, who has been a huge support system for me. Most of my trauma came from abusive narcissistic parents, having a baby in high school, and a severely sociopathic ex husband. Finally in my mid 30’s I feel like I can finally move forward and forgive My past.

I have panic attacks where it feels like my chest is caving in and I can't breath, I don't like sitting with my back to a room and if I'm having a really bad day it can be really difficult. I hate people walking behind me. I do a threat assessment on pretty much everyone I see. When I get really stressed, it's really hard to choose an action. Lots of trauma responses, but I have a lot more better days and have an easier time coping most of the time thanks to medication and therapy.

Thank you so much for this and your other channel which I enjoy. Once I realised I have C-PTSD, and had that confirmed by a licensed therapist, I have noticed that watching videos on the topic of C-PTSD is near impossible for me to focus on. I continually have to back up and replay videos on the topic because my mind won't let me keep my attention on them. I have been working on my focus when reading on and/or watching videos on the topic, and it helps. Only had to "rewind" this video 6 times to soak it all in. The "protective" functions of the mind are a double-edged sword.

I studied the Holocaust off and on for six months, learning a lot of valuable lessons, but it left me with second-hand trauma. I’m getting Eye Movement Desensitized and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for it. The therapy is a gift from God.

I didn't realize till this video how much my CPTSD affected me. My mom used to scream in my face, (sometimes got violent) but I would just stand there. I couldn't move, speak or do anything. I'd just stand there, staring at her. I still need to remind myself that just cuz I hear dishes clanking loudly doesn't mean I'm in danger. I was emotionally, physically and mentally abused most of my life. I'm thinking about cutting my mom out of my life but it's hard and I don't want to hurt my dad.

@TCTKK_AFK

Ай бұрын

Me to I'm still dealing with cptsd rn and I just realized now

My therapist suggested that book to me last week. I haven’t had the chance to try searching for it yet, largely because I’m having a worse dissociative/depressive week-long episode than usual. I definitely have major gut pain and falling spells, bad enough I finally spoke up about it to my PCP who pretty quickly started ordering different tests to be done, “despite” my abysmal mental health scores. And I do struggle with “shutting out” pain which has led to hand disabilities and either a lack of awareness or things becoming Too Much! and intensely painful for days to weeks since I’m never NOT in pain (my hands are constantly swollen, have general aches)…I just can’t always “feel” it, because it “filters out” but that causes even worse focus issues than Prolly ADHD alone…until I do again. And then I can’t settle, it wakes me up, etc. If the gut issues weren’t causing inflammation and weight changes because I couldn’t absorb nutrients reliably…I probably would’ve continued to just deal with it. But having pain now every time I eat + symptoms mirroring IBS or crohn’s…I had to face that I couldn’t ignore things anymore. “Even if” it’s just psychological, it’s causing me damage. And my therapist also made me face that-while I need to find the courage to call and schedule testing for adhd and anxiety/depression-I probably do have cptsd. Anyway. I think this video has helped me understand WHY trying to self-advocate gets me fawning in-person but struggling to actually say my needs, avoid tasks I need to do that relate to my needs beyond Just Social Anxiety, and trying to get myself to do these things results in panic attacks, shutting down for hours, or shouting at inanimate objects for every minor inconvenience or while actively Trying To Do The Thing (but rarely living things, like people and animals). But even having classmates admit to me that I DID go through hell from our religious-educational environment (and they’re struggling to despite either getting out much sooner or being Not As Easy A Target) …I’m still struggling to accept that things really were That Bad and I’m not just Weak and a Loser TM But…28 and only able to finally work on things ‘cause I qualify for medicaid ‘cause I can’t keep a job (largely hands, but the rest doesn’t help, especially with trying to find work)…it’s hard to not feel absolutely hopeless about being so dependent. And only able to try looking for help because I have hit rock bottom and therefore qualify for my medicaid. (But I’m so scared I’ll lose it. Especially since getting “documentation” is such a lengthy process made longer by my mental health.)

@colleeneldracher5658

Жыл бұрын

I don't know if this is something that would help you, (I don't know if you're a man or a woman from your post), but I've been doing Plexus now for a handful of months and have seen a HUGE improvement with digestive issues and hormones. Gut health is tied to SOOOO many other issues. Good luck!

I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but something that helps me to cope is trying to help others who are struggling with trauma and it's effects. As someone who is still dealing with traumatic experiences, I can understand how and why these things happen, and give others a sense of belonging and understanding.

Trams has been a part of my life for so long that I’m not sure how many memories I have before there was trama. Lol. I’m not really comfortable talking about it where lots of people can see it. But I have learned that sometimes when a trigger happens it takes me a while to come out of the panic caused by it. I try to be honest about what happened and explain my response to my loved ones. And there are those who have been kind and supportive. Those who have worked me through my ptsd panic attacks. But not everyone can me spoken to freely and honestly do to legal agreements or because I don’t want it causing them stress. I try very hard to make sure I have positive relationships with my children. I do worry that their own trama is causing them struggles and are trying to make sure they have the help they need. I wouldn’t mind having a further in-depth conversation but as I said in a public setting I don’t feel comfortable sharing much.

@ileam.bonner442

2 жыл бұрын

This episode hit a bit close to home and I think helped me a bit. I have felt stupid over not understanding what was happening in the most recent trama until I was out of it. I think it was because I was frozen and just getting by with what was needed.

Finally, concise,accurate,informative and hope-giving. As a survivor of childhood developmental issues, have witnessed an amazing amount of better understanding of the brain and its development. Unfortunately our archaic approach to medicine prevents healing. Physical doctors know next to nothing about trauma response and often misdiagnosis and medicate with anti- depressants and or a sedative. Compassion and understanding is the first essential key to helping. Thank you for putting this out there. Removing Shame and Guilt from ourselves is crucial in understanding our behavioural responses and not Blame-Shame ourselves in isolation or worse,believing that we are not GOOD ENOUGH

Thanks for this quick explanation. I personally love how Doctor Gabor Mate states, "Trauma is not the event. Trauma is how an individual responds to events." This helps me recognize the objective individuality of each person including myself. It keeps me from comparing my healing journey to others and allows me to feel protected from self-judgment or even the judgments of others.

Amongst other events that happened, the one I remember the most vividly as shutting down is when my father undressed himself in front of me when I was a child. I remember my heart pounding and sinking, the room around me in a haze. He did not touch or abuse me, and he was intoxicated as he explained to me his physiology. When my mother came to pick me up I was apparently shaking as a leaf and couldn’t speak. A few years later I developed eating disorders which lasted near a decade, after which I sank deep in alcoholism, promiscuity and drug abuse.. I gave my life to Christ 4 years ago and only since has healing started to occur within. I carry a lot of sadness, hatred, aggressivity towards myself and I have a tendency to avoid people. I’m definitely prone to self harm however i want to change and learn how to love myself so to better love healthily those around me. Thank you for this channel, for cinema therapy, for your vulnerability and humanity to you Jonathan and Allan. God bless you and your families

My first traumatic event was at the age of 3 at the hospital. Many followed like being bullied, violent household, abuse psycologically and physically. I would say there are these experiences that become life lessons and my life lesson was, that humans are a thread. I‘m 30 years old now and I start to remember and understand things. As I grew up I was angry and hurt. Now I understand what hurt me. I‘m not sure which state I prefer more. I wish I could go to therapy but here are long waiting lists and the only therapist thats familiar with trauma therapy, doesn‘t call back. I know what happened and I remember things but I don‘t know how to work with it. It just hurts to realize all this without someone who can give me stategies to handle it. On the other side I‘m scared. All of this became my personality through all these years. What will be left of me, when someone managed to heal me? I can‘t imagine myself without this. - That‘s my contribution to trauma. Sorry that it didn‘t come with a happy ending. But I‘m not done yet. I wanted to kill myself at the age of 5 but now I‘m too stubborn to die! This world will give me some space or I will take the space on my own and if that therapist doesn‘t want to help me, I will find another way. I‘m like a cockroach, I always find a way to survive! :)

My trauma I want to say built up, by my ex pushed it to the edge. I won't delve into much details of what happened, but they (being my friend after our split) made me have major trust issues in large groups of people who are "friends" that I shut down a lot faster and snap far more easily after a few hours if I can't run away from them a few minutes to an hour. My hardest hit though was watching No Way Home with my boyfriend as he really wanted to see it. I sadly have connected my ex to this hero and franchise, so during the movie I'm not talking, zoning out emotionally to the point my boyfriend is checking up on me and I kept saying I was fine to not ruin his viewing. As soon as we left the theater he pulled us out as quick as able and I..just cried. I cried so hard saying how sorry I was for doing this and asking how someone can hurt me so bad but I need to fix it. I couldn't even drive my car back because I was completely unbalanced emotionally. My bf was a real hero though, he kept telling me how yes I am dealing with something and I have to face it and just try not to remember it or let it win. I know he was trying and that message seems strong but it's because he doesn't know how to say it any other way. He did add though how he was proud I went and enjoyed it for myself, how I am making new bonds with people who are more honest and kind than those I've known for years that hurt me. Sure - definitely cried more after that and we sat in our silence until I calmed down enough to stop shaking and could breathe normally. I don't think I have a way to heal yet everything pushed me over in June of 2021 so it's all very fresh. Learning to cope is even hard as I still have rage and mistrust on high. I come to this channel and Cinema Therapy to help me understand more of psychology for understanding myself a bit more as well as my love for psychology. So thank you for being here.

The brake light metaphor is one of the best I’ve ever heard. It fits the experience perfectly.

I get into a panic in some social situations, and sometimes seemingly random other scenarios. I feel like I have to get out immediately, or sometimes I just kind of cave into myself.

Got diagnosed with cptsd this past year. Been learning a lot and growing. Got myself to be able to talk to strangers again. And no longer keeping people at arms distance for safety. I'm now working on learning to not be angry. Remembers there's no bandaid or timeline to healing. Be patient. Do the work. Give yourself grace. Your nervous system is hijacked and trauma work helps to build new networks. Give it time ^.^

I was going into a ptsd self discovery, and amongst the chaos I realized that my thought pattern was stuck in a loop, with every repetition of thte thought pattern triggering another scoop of angst. So what I did was holding onto one of the emotions and noticed that the thought repetition was ongoing but my emotional state stayed on the same level. After that, my ptsd kinda faded. Now I can think about the same trigger as before but now I'm not 'consumed' by it ☺️😃

@menosproblemos6993

Жыл бұрын

The thought pattern repetition kinda went down in volume 😶👍

this made me cry. my mum tells me to be mindful of the present moment when I am brought back to my trauma but that doesn't help. I feel like I'm dying when the flashbacks happen. I feel trapped and hopeless when nobody understands me. as a result I now struggle desperately

I'm still in the process of understanding just how much past trauma has affected me and is still affecting me. I'm in a safe place now and feel the healing taking place, but I still have reactions to certain things that are based in that past trauma. It will always be a part of me to some degree, but what has helped considerably is a) learning about c-PTSD, b) having spaces, both online and in person, where I can verbalize my feelings/physical sensations, and c) developing clear boundaries around how I am willing/not willing to be treated by others.

With my therapist we tried to find the root of my fears because he says I have all the symptoms of a traumatised person. But I still can’t seem to remember or know what it was. Whenever I feel anxious like that for no reason I try to find what triggered it and try to find in memory a clue that matches the current situation but nothing.

When I was five I was in a situation with a bully that made me speed through the fight flight and right into freez. I was so young and I have no idea who I would have been without that. I had to continue sharing a class with this student for two years after and I think the way my trama evolved is unusual and I worry that I healed wrong and that I suffer from a broken trama respose that doesnt really work and kind of just live in a repressed existence...

I suffered from a much older brother molesting me thruout my entire childhood. I told my mom and she even saw it but did nor said anything. I grew up without CPS in a tiny town in the 50s. I have had EMDR which helped some. He still tried when I was an adult, became a police officer, married a police officer. I finally told my husband and my daughter. My daughter said she had already figured it out. My husband did not confront him and we ended up divorced. I trust no one and very hard on myself. Now in my 60s I isolate and still in therapy. I suffered in my childhood with slow heart beat and fainting. I was always sick as a child.

Without going into personal details: How do you stop being traumatized when you can't get out of danger?

@MendedLight

2 жыл бұрын

Excellent question. I may have to do a whole video just on that.

@TheShamuraja

2 жыл бұрын

Try go to church regularly. Because of community and for teachings. It might help. Also dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin help. So get in contact, cuddle, get good sleep with a weighted blanket.

@TheBlackLionessRrr

2 жыл бұрын

In no way.

@anabellecoetzer442

2 жыл бұрын

This might not stop it or fix everything. One thing I would recommend is if you are stuck in a situation to help you process things and keep some sanity try some form of creative expression. Writing pretty much saved my life when I was having to live through my abuse.

I have thought many times growing up that I am crazy or going insane and sometimes people even told me or reflected that upon me. I have HUGE trust issues and now that I am recognizing more and more just how much is tied to my numerous traumas, I am starting to attract people into my life who "get it", who have been through similar or even the same things. Your channels help so much! Thanks for your hard work! Also, I am CONSTANTLY sharing your videos! ❤ If it helps only one person seeing your videos, it's already a lot!

I have experienced every kind of trauma since I was 5. sometimes my body feels like its all happening at once and I just shut down. I can't move or think of anything as the traumas flash in my head as vivid images or I hear it. I've not had any time long enough in safety to start dealing with the symptoms. it causes me to fight people who trigger it distance myself from loved ones and just feel helpless and alone. I find it hard to give anyone basic trust to not just stab me in the street. I realize the irrationality of it. but it is what I experience. it gets worse during the November to May period of time. based off of my calender recordings of it. and I know I need to do something I've been in therapy. but when I've had so many therapists betray me or even abuse me I can't trust them with details of my life. I find it extremely difficult to let down the wall around me while I desperately need something or someone to help. how the hell do I even start to let down that wall? how do I trust people when I feel they will immediately or over time abuse me no matter who it is. online forms help some since its anonymous but its not enough

This video has shown me just how far I have to go and I'm not sure there's much hope. I never see myself as "safe" and I don't have a support network. It seems ridiculous to even imagine such things. But one thing you made me realize (but not something I've seen in any of the literature I've been reading) is that I intentionally put myself in dangerous or high-stress situations and I think now it's so that I can have a productive outlet for the anxiety - instead of the freeze response I constantly live in, I can redirect to a fight response and feel like I have some control. I never realized why I did that before now. Just thought I was an adrenaline junkie.... Interesting.

Thank you. I have complex PTSD and just shared this on my social media. It is one of the best explanations I've ever heard about CPTSD.

Dealing with the aftermath has been rough. I was stalked, got away from an attempted rape, and am still being stalked. Anxiety really shut down my life. I got regular muscle spasms, nearly constant hallucinations and a variety of other physical and mental complications. Extensive therapy has me functional again though I still get panic attacks. I've had to move and change jobs regularly. I cope through therapy and (ironically) ignoring my own needs. I haven't really learned to fully take control of my own life again, but in life since then I have found comfort and a start to healing. Thank you for your work and cinema therapy. My question about trauma: my trauma is still active and I have bursts of time where my stalker is back. What are some better coping mechanisms for dealing with the constant anxiety? What is the best way for my family's health to move forward from here? Thank you

This video hit hard to home.. I relate and feel exactly what he's saying daily

DVC really got me i think, I have physical issues, anxiety, hyper awareness, I freeze everytime, I don’t know how to heal from trauma, I’ve already tried 2 therapists who didn’t even acknowledged it even though it is still affecting my life so much even 5 years after it happened, I just watched this video for the first times and the ones about trauma and it all resonates with how I’m living. I’m 18 today and just realised that since Covid I’ve been living without going out even when we could because I was so afraid and I still am, I can’t go back to school anymore it’s horrible because I used to love it so much.

It honestly makes me feel like if I did anything wrong that my whole world is ending and I often distract myself like sit on my phone cook or whatever

Thank you for being trauma informed. My particular type of cptsd, from institutional child abuse, is still very much excluded in therapy spaces. We are either too much for a given provider, being that part of our trauma is therapeutic abuse, or they don't even believe us this exists, even worse, they agree we must have deserved what happened to us. This video was very validating to me, so thank you.

My mom has suffered from chronic pain most of my life and was abused growing up. I never made the connection until now. I'm linking her to this to watch it and maybe it will give her some ideas on things she can do to help besides meds.

I am about to the the C-PTSD diagnosis, finally! I'm 39 years old, and trauma has affected my ability to handle romantic relationships, and sometimes friendships. My digestive system ain't working well, it controls my every day well being. Also I've had some ocd and anxiety. I've got a lot of help from a neuro chiropractor, to stimulate the brain. It's really effective! Hopefully I will get even better with ptsd treatment, found a psychiatrist who knows metacognotive therapy. Tried it for intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and I got a better life!

Tbh, I never called my experience trauma. I didn't want to use that term lightly and because I could imagine things being worse, I didn't think trauma applied to me. But this video and others like it somehow really resonate with me. My response to arguably "mundane" and "normal" things is sometimes so heightened, that it really does take a lot of internal energy to manage it. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and it gets out. In recent months, I'm reconsidering whether what I face is a trauma response and why I'm so reluctant to call it that. I think maybe if i acknowledged I have some degree of PTSD or even CPTSD, I'm basically accusing someone of being a trauma to me ... I'm still on the journey, I don't have my answers yet. Just really grateful to Jon for putting out this type of content in such an educational and compassionate way that makes me self reflect instead of feeling attacked.

I suffered from childhood trauma I grew up in a abusive household I was subject to my parents being aggressive towards one another and me I suffered tremendously I shut down frequently I wasn’t making friends like I should have and if I did it didn’t last long I would just drift endlessly I would isolate myself if things scared me I would run away I would hide from people I even tried to run away from school because I was so traumatised I had PTSD from a young age I would have nightmares of my birth parents coming to attack me if places looked like my home I would be extremely distressed I would relive my trauma every day up until the adge of 9 I still have moments were certain things set me of but i don’t know if it’s PTSD because I don’t have flashbacks and rarely have issues now that iam 15 but I had if for a good chunk of my early childhood. I suffer currently from mild social anxiety and I struggle with friendships but I have healed so much from when I was 6 years old knowone should have to suffer from trauma at a young age ever and my heart goes out to people like you giving out awareness and other people who have suffered trauma like I have.

I was love bombed and this brought so many emotions to the surface. I've been holding on to the heart breaking even of the "loss" of the love bomber and it hasn't been easy. I'm trying to make connections of what could have gone wrong in my early childhood. I realise that I was not loved right. I was not loved at all. I wanna heal emotionally and mentally

Thank you for mentioning the link between trauma and illnesses like fibromyalgia. It’s hard to feel like your body is punishing you for something terrible and traumatic (or multiple things) that happened to you. Community of others who have experienced trauma and are supportive and understanding has been helpful, as is having a therapist familiar with chronic illness and all its complex layers.

I've been able to work through and be aware of how an episode of childhood trauma has affected me. I've been proud of how I now can be grounded rather than taken back to the memory or stuck frozen in fear if I hear a loud noise or see someone hitting a wall. But I am realizing that I have gone through possibly two traumatic events in the past two years, with one possibly being betrayal trauma (i watched one video where you briefly mentioned that). Would there be more info on that? I've been in therapy doing cbt, but i started in a time where i was anxious over my basic needs being met because i was in a financial crisis. Now, with having to worry less about how to get food on the table, I have been able to realize some areas of trauma I may need to work on, but that is tbh pretty daunting!