I hear often: "you are just too sensitive." It definitely came from constant criticism, and other kinds of abuse. I've learned to embrace it and not condemn myself for them. I think maybe we're just better at detecting subtle cruelty than others. Hard to say.

@tahiyamarome

2 жыл бұрын

I heard that a lot growing up. I decided that being insensitive is a much bigger character deficit. The correct word is actually dullard. They are dulled, emotionally, intellectually, socially and morally. It turns them into cowards because they can only act by mimicking the bahavior of their immediate group. In short people who are put off by sensitivity to the degree that they ridicule others for it are simply informing the world that they are the least likely to take the risks required to leave the world better than they found it.

@KatieM786

2 жыл бұрын

You're not too sensitive, they were just people who didn't notice others or consider their needs. Sending you hugs xx

@user-ib2bt4ck7y

2 жыл бұрын

@@tahiyamarome incredible observation, I will remember this comment forever.

@Swist1213

2 жыл бұрын

I heard that a lot as a child. My father even held a family meeting with my mom, sister, and I so that he could go over all the things that were 'wrong' with me - I remember that being too sensitive was one of them. I finally just ran out the door in tears and down the street. It is still fresh in my mind and I'm in my 60's. It is obvious to me that the person with the toxic behavior and personality was my father. It makes me sad to think how different my life and feelings of self worth would have been if I had grown up with a loving, nurturing father. But then, I've heard that he grew up in a toxic environment with mental and physical abuse. The generational gift that keeps on giving! I love your decision to embrace it.

@tahiyamarome

2 жыл бұрын

@@Swist1213 wow! I thought my parents taking the family to bob's big boy and "have dessert" (none for me of course as i was "far too fat") while they did the list of what i need to have fixed about me-everything from plastic surgery to my pathological selfishness to my body shape, my voice, my laugh, endless list-while my brother laughed along- was unique. Sheesh. I feel you. I was 9 when they started this. If i cried or reacted in any way they would pounce. I had to agree with them and add to the list or it would get much worse. And of course the public setting was important.

HSP tends to be: Highly empathic Need time to reflect Difficulty with change Easily overstimulated Aware of the needs of others Seek meaning or seek purpose Very detail oriented or solution focused Often take things personally Difficulty making dicisions or need more time doing so High need for solo time or down time! YES, YES, YES!

@MissOne

2 жыл бұрын

WOW! Describes me perfectly 🤔

@bereal6590

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. Shame my n.fam don't value these traits! Just put me down, shame and blame

@SiljeMeum

2 жыл бұрын

@Ryan Curnow Autism is one thing, high vigilance because of trauma is another :)

@SiljeMeum

2 жыл бұрын

@Ryan Curnow Yes, absolutely! But it doesn't have to be autism. :) If it is autism, it is. If it isn't there should be room for that too

@SiljeMeum

2 жыл бұрын

@Ryan Curnow on the other side, when you are hyper vigilant you easily notice small gestures and needs in others. When you have autism you are not tuned in to others needs and moods.

The hardest part about watching your videos is knowing that I've tried to explain all this to other people and no one ever believed or listened to me. It's so hard and painful to realize I was right all along and was constantly invalidated.

@amandalynngibson8332

11 ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you. I survived too much to detail here, but I identify so much with finally getting validation from videos. I am 64. I am an orphan emotionally.

@FaithsLifeOnFilm

11 ай бұрын

I can relate to this.

@musicandpoetry_8

11 ай бұрын

I hate being a sensitive person, all it’s caused is a ton of emotional pain

@musicandpoetry_8

11 ай бұрын

So much invalidation is why I’m such an angry person today :((

@JumpRopeQueen

10 ай бұрын

Same here!

As a hsp, I could detect who was kind & loyal immediately in a room full of people. This quality was hated of me & I was shamed & judged for it. I ended up suppressing it overtime & I became a victim of abuse bec of it. I am now as an adult re-aquanting with this inborn ability. This is the ultimate bs detector necessary for survival. Never listen to people who say you should suppress it!

@supme7558

Жыл бұрын

Whats weird is i always thought it was common sense and every one felt this way ..common sense isnt common after all and i have to think twice about every single thing cuz my instinct is on over drive but no one else's is around is and took me fourty years to realize im extremely unique and most dont think or feel like i do ..

@mfcmxtt6490

11 ай бұрын

It’s definitely a super power Or the way I like to think about it, is that it’s like being a Super Car and learning through self Enquiry and good role modelling/ good teaching, how to drive that super car to its best ultimate maximum

@ramzar7615

11 ай бұрын

Are HSP's clingy and obsessive (in a good way)?

@db44491

11 ай бұрын

Me the same, being abused as a child and being highly sensitive gave me this ability, yes i can walk into a room and immediately sense bad people, i am highly intuative this has been both a curse and a saviour at the same time..

@71jelina

10 ай бұрын

Same. I'm either going to like you when we meet or I get "the vibe" I've never been wrong and it's saved a lot of hurt

Whenever someone accuses me of being too sensitive, I always respond with - well maybe you’re not sensitive enough??!

@bojohannesen4352

Ай бұрын

That's deep bro 🙄

@Wasp239

Ай бұрын

solid gold

@Acorn905

27 күн бұрын

That could make them feel bad too tho, but if they're being rude then yeah that sounds like a good response

@mel-tp5hi

10 күн бұрын

or when someone says that I'm different, I say well maybe you're "the same"!

@susanmercurio1060

3 күн бұрын

I wouldn't say that to them but I would be thinking it.

I think the hardest part of being an HSP, is the feeling of being an outcast, and having no one to talk to without feeling shame.

@ALTheFreeMan

11 ай бұрын

I find that it’s hard just finding someone to talk to, PERIOD. I’m usually the one on the listening end of things, and I truly don’t mind, however, I have no one that I can “download” with.

@GyatRizzler69-of3wl

2 ай бұрын

Yup the feelings are so deep you know damn well the majority of people can’t relate

@Arabella391

Ай бұрын

@@GyatRizzler69-of3wl This is so true, it’s really heartbreaking. ❤ But I’ve been finding that the more I allow myself permission to be authentic and am healing other trauma, I can open up in smaller ways with people and connect about deep thoughts. Not all of them, and not a lot, but with certain people you can build connections and friendships on some deeper things, and they’ll really appreciate it! It’s really life changing to be able to connect and be valued for my empathy and sensitivity and it’s helping my confidence grow so much. We just need to be careful to not rely on that validation, or keep over sharing with the same person, keep it slow and steady and try to remember to come from a place of “I have something valuable to share” instead of a place of “I need them to like me and value me and reduce me.” It’s hard but it’s been so helpful on my healing journey. ❤❤❤

@gofai274

Ай бұрын

"being genius is fate of loneliness" Arthur Schopenhauer, no one under 160IQ understands me, i hate even HSP ppl and people with overexcitabilities they are to me like to you normal ppl imagine that... It is all relative...

As an HSP. healing my inner child is extremely important to me... That little girl deserved to know she was exactly who she was supposed to be. The worse thing abusive people can do is try to change an empathic child it's always so abusive..

@AsuraPhoenix

4 күн бұрын

I'm still learning to give that child love. Thanks for sharing this.

My entire life I have felt like a chameleon- always adapting to others feelings/changes and feeling it more deeply than I should. Thank you for this video

@hanneschouteden6097

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! This! Sending you lots of healing light & love 💕

@GullerudGallery

2 жыл бұрын

can relate!

@2degucitas

2 жыл бұрын

You're allowed to just feel your own feelings first. It's ok to walk away from others to gain sanity.

@camifbe5565

2 жыл бұрын

Very much yes for me as well. And how I was named feels ironic.

@JRaven21

2 жыл бұрын

This!!!

I notice every subtle detail of EVERYTHING. It’s incredibly exhausting. I find myself getting frustrated with other people for being oblivious to things I think are so obvious.

@leelee8720

9 ай бұрын

Omg! Especially in the super market. Like sure, take up the entire aisle, there’s no one else in the store trying to shop.

@nellou5527

8 ай бұрын

I’m a cashier and I anticipate every single thing rushing to the people in electrical carts putting their stuff on the belt, putting groceries in the carts, pushing buttons for people, putting in phone numbers so they don’t have to do it. I sometimes judge my coworkers bc they don’t anticipate and help people more. But I think I need to probably stop people pleasing so much. I always assume the role of the really nice helpful person, trying to recreate a personal connection with the customers.

@belent8336

8 ай бұрын

​@@leelee8720lol, I thought I was the only person who found this annoying.

@stormy8092

Ай бұрын

I have had friends like you. They pick up on any tiny gesture or word. They ask lots of annoying questions. I find myself having to explain every word, every sentence, every gesture. Did I call? Did I not call? Why not? And so on. I was spending so much time explaining every little thing that offended them. Geeezus. I do not have any of these friends now. They are needy and I can't stand it. I have ended all of my 'friendships' with these people and am happier for it. They really, really need help.

@mikeuk1927

Ай бұрын

​@@stormy8092I guess it is better for both parties involved...

I am very sensitive. More than I’d like to be. I was bullied by my mother severely when growing up. I remember most of my childhood crying hysterically.

@merriem24

7 күн бұрын

Me too. I hate that it’s caused such sensitivity and people pleasing

@ashlynnnolan6608

16 сағат бұрын

God this is me too. My mother was a narcissists who bullied me relentlessly growing up and also put me through so much other types of abuse which I won’t get into because of how horrible it was but I was always seen as the black sheep of the family from how sensitive I was and now most of the work I do on myself is understanding that it’s okay that I’m a highly sensitive person and even though it hurts so much it’s a part of ourselves that needs to be loved and embraced or it will either come out in neurotic tendencies or you will go through a hardened phase. Because I never dealt with mine I ended up developing severe OCD and depression because it was my nervous systems attempt to regulate itself.

Once I realized my empathic nature was a trauma response and not just bc I’m a good person and care (which I still do) it’s born out of my own SUFFERING

@raziel1687

22 күн бұрын

I had to grow up being extremely observant and empathetic because my mom was very neglectful and neurotic and had issues with alcohol.

I’ve also noticed that being an HSP is both a blessing and a curse, especially if the people in your life are toxic and exploitative.

@HiKingMargo

2 жыл бұрын

I agree! Especially when you can't control whether some of the toxic/manipulative people are in your life or not.

@jessm2560

2 жыл бұрын

👏👏👏

@realhealing7802

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! It's was so hard growing up in a toxic family system.

@ptanyuh

2 жыл бұрын

Yip, the classic double edged sword.

@LynTheWitch

2 жыл бұрын

Well it helps us chose better who gets to stay there :) you deserve to be safe! :)

Thank you for addressing the people who use "empath" as an ego based, marketing term. And OMG, toxic positivity is the worst scam ever.

@gdm1979

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! That type of thing really upsets me too.

@Lucy-iw1xf

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@OlaDeen2018

Жыл бұрын

My narc was always reposting quotes from some empath channel

@jeffbrownstain

Жыл бұрын

Instagram 'self-care' is killing me.

@fatbabygabs1134

Жыл бұрын

I’ve met a few abusers including my mother who use toxic positivity as a weapon

It's taken me years of work to realize I am an HSP who experienced childhood trauma. After reading the book "Scattered Minds", I realized that my sensitivity during a chaotic childhood caused me to develop ADHD as I was growing up. I knew I had ADHD, but always wondered why. Now it makes sense. I was so attuned to the emotions in my family and began withholding myself so as not to burden my parents. I became an expert at the "fawn" trauma response, my nervous system constantly on alert, my parents always complimented on their very well behaved 3 year old. By the time I have any real memories I had absolutely no sense of self. It's taken me 28 years to realized why I am chronic people pleaser, terrified of rejection, and cannot seem to live a happy life. The puzzle pieces of my childhood trauma are finally coming together. I highly recommend the book for any HSP and ASHD childhood trauma survivors.

@LordVerum

5 ай бұрын

Thankyou

@pineapplequeen13

4 ай бұрын

You just described a perfect summary of what my life has looked like. Wow, it's amazing to know there are others out there like you. Thanks for sharing. ❤️

@michelefitzmaurice4610

18 күн бұрын

Thank you for the book recommendation! 😀🤍

"You're too sensitive"...the story of my life.

I have always been the “black sheep” of my family and constantly told I’m too sensitive and to get over it. Nothing has changed to this day.

@clancywiggam

Жыл бұрын

F*** 'em, be too sensitive, take the time you need to deal with things. I'm an HSP, it is a gift. Trying to get people to understand who are not sensitive is like trying to teach a chimp to play the accordion. It is a waste of everyone's time. Allow I'm sure it is entertaining for other people to watch!

@andreachilton6037

Жыл бұрын

I was told the same thing growing up, and realize now that they said such things to validate the way they spoke to and treated me. You are not the problem.

@AmandathePandaBooks

Жыл бұрын

Hopefully you have blocked their email, phone numbers, etc!! Move if necessary. Drop off the face of the earth. You don't need those evil narcissistic toxic waste things in your life!

@ElizzzaB

Жыл бұрын

Maybe they are insensitive.

@lilaccilla

Жыл бұрын

I hear you

The HSP comprises 15%-20% of the population, and "is genetic, just like blue eyes or brown eyes". Flood of tears!!! Thank you Patrick!!! There's nothing wrong with me after all:)

@jeannie_ewing

10 ай бұрын

Read Dr. Aron's book, The Highly Sensitive Person. You will find relief and find your people! ❤

@cdub3019

10 ай бұрын

No you are not! I am the same and there are others of us in the world! 🎉😊🎉 I learned this after reading Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person, very insightful for me in different ways. I don't know if he mentioned that book in the video, I just clicked on it and went straight to the comments. Watching it now.....

@kewlkatnat

10 ай бұрын

READING THIS MADE ME TEAR UP AS A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON SOBS I LOVE THIS COMMENT SO MUCH

@mathias6314

10 ай бұрын

what if it goes further and HSP people are are aware? Like generally. But that brings immense overload as well, especially when an experience is traumatic. Maybe due to that we don't learn to make use of it? Maybe feeling something deeper is insanely valuable even in the current social system where there is no systematic approach to making people find themselves deeply (mostly a system of surpressing feelings)

@ContentRemoved___

10 ай бұрын

Sounds like autism. Definitely don’t buy this quackery book.

When I was around 14 I yelled and nearly cried trying to stop a kid from killing a frog, What I remember the most about it is the look in everybody else's faces, like: girl you are loosing It. I am 48 now, thanks to you and the crappy childhood Fairy I Know now I am not crazy, why I have all the health issues I have, and how deeply deeply wrong was what I lived in my childhood. Thanks for being there. Greets from Spain

I'm 43 years old. I am optimistic to hear someone else's experience especially as HSP relates to child-hood trauma. I feel incredibly misunderstood, invisible and alone. I feel so deeply and can 100% identify with this scenario as it relates to actual HSP. I do agree it's important to share and bring awareness to this trait. I cried listening to this video. I have side effects from feelings of low self worth. My childhood was nomadic and lonely. Never belonged anywhere I felt alone and invisible. The abandonment has crippled my life so much. I may be able to control this by getting to know myself. I wish my gift wasn't such a heavy cross. Your impactful video has given me so much hope. The prompts for self reflection are obvious tools I can actually use to begin healing and navigating life better.

@humanbeing4995

Ай бұрын

Yours is a more recent comment. I really identify with it as well. I need to communicate with someone that will listen. Please. My first memory is of looking up at my parents and seeing my mom bite my dad's arm and then him hauling off and hitting her in the face. Mom says I was too young to remember that. Mom says a lot of things she knows nothing about. I always failed at school even though I was considered bright. I got held back twice once in first then second grade. Turns out nobody knew I needed glasses for years. Nobody. Mom married a guy who built us a nice home. But he hated me. I have my dad's name. I got spanked for every little infraction to the point my brother could do something, blame it on me and it would be believable no questions asked. Mom once was talking to a neighbor while she was tending her bonsai. She said she named it after me because that's her first one and the one she got to make all the mistakes on. I ran away at 12. Brought me home, spanked me. Mom divorces dude when I was 14. Single parent, mom works 3 jobs now. Just me and my brother. (There was physical abuse at this time, Mom had a hard time dealing with my ex-stepfather in the split.) High School, even though I failed, was the most normal time in my life. Managed to graduate in summer school at 19. Moved out. This is already long and I'm only at 19. I left a lot of things out that I don't want public. But I'm your age,45, been begging for help or at least to be treated kindly my whole life. 🤢 I just want it to stop. I don't want to be angry anymore. How I act now is not who I am or how I want to be. It's so lonely to live like this.

@hbennett5640

Ай бұрын

I felt same growing up.

Being sensitive is better than being someone who can't relate to the suffering of others

@ramzar7615

11 ай бұрын

Are HSP's clingy (in a good way)?

I'm an highly sensitive person and also an artist. It suits me well. I see and feel things others don't. It has helped me as an elementary school teacher. A couple of parents came in my class and asked what I did to their son. He had always been a mute. I simply showed him how to press on his stomach, open his mouth and push out sound. Then I set him desk to desk with the most talkative student in the class to help him with his work as he only spoke Spanish and needed help with school work. She was bilingual. It took about three days and he was talking just fine. Also I saw a child having an asthma attack on the play. I put him on my back and carried him piggy back to the school nurse. His parents thanked me for saving his life. One child seemed too flushed to me. I sent her to the school nurse with two students to assist her. She ended up in the hospital for two weeks with brittle diabetes. How thankful I am for the sensitive gifts God has given me to help children and others in need.

@saramariasdotter3681

Жыл бұрын

Hallo Linda! I very much recognize your experiences! Late in life, I've found out that I am an hsp and an INFJ. That's probably why I had difficulties to handle a childhood with low emotional understanding!... But in my work as a teacher in 'neglected areas' , I realized that my personality traits and my childhood experiences were very useful! Also gifted with artistic skills that I used in my pedagogy - some of my pupils even later became artists... Retreated, and late in life, it's my turn!... I've started painting and writing 😅 Lots of love to you and to Patrick who make those very helpful videos!! 💕 Sara Mariasdotter

@cydneyg899

Жыл бұрын

AMEN

@kimedison6677

Жыл бұрын

Your students are lucky to have you. Thank you for going out of your way to support them. 💗♥💚💛🧡💜🤎🤍🖤

@healing-for-all5349

Жыл бұрын

God bless you and thank you

@crystalmacdonald1007

Жыл бұрын

That's not really the sensitivity he's speaking of here, you're describing more common adult sense. This is extreme traits and life altering proclivities that stems from Trauma Response

A great example of being an HSP that I can personally recall is driving in the car with my family as a child, and seeing an elderly person or someone with mobility issues walking alone along the side of the road- as a child I felt so deeply sad and heartbroken for them. I would have a hard time shaking it, and always wondered why none of my family members, etc. seemed to care at all- in fact most of the time they didn’t even notice. Feeling like an alien is a great way to put it!

@christinahooper7691

2 жыл бұрын

I always say this that ima. Alien. Hi new friend

@PeaceLove197

2 жыл бұрын

Oh yes!

@Falconifan

2 жыл бұрын

There was a guy on the bus in a wheelchair whose pants were not covering his whole butt. I felt very upset about that, and angry at his care person.

@melissahoffman9433

2 жыл бұрын

🙏🏼❤️💪🏼👽👽👽

@TL-is8pk

2 жыл бұрын

Yes. I understand this deeply. I always thought I was the only one.

"You have a good heart" is what I was told growing up. I couldnt ignore the victimization of others.

Thank you for this. It can be incredibly lonely being HSP with CPTSD. Lotta letters. It really helps to finally find out I’m not “too” sensitive. 🙏

@voreshbo7031

6 ай бұрын

Yeah.. im 44 know, seems to get harder for each year passing by, im from Denmark Scandinavia, and overhere there is a lot stigma on it, if youre not a soldier, you cant have ptsd and cptsd is not seen as a real thing ... I try to tell people it has to do with multiple traumatic experiences over a many year timespand, rape, kidnapping,seeing someone getting killed and not being able to help or save, finding your partner in bed with someone else, and throwing HSP on top? Alone being hsp growing up with alcoholic parents in a toxic family that does not talk about feelings, trying to look good to the world and hushing about any problem inside it is enough to create cptsd over a lifetime... We stay strong tho. 🫡✊🙌.

@salehgani9144

6 ай бұрын

I understand and appreciate your daily challenges, as I am also experiencing similar daily challenges. Given I am HSP with CPTSD which stems from childhood sexual abuse, an emotional & psychological domestic violence and the traumas. I wish you all the best.

@jmc8076

5 ай бұрын

I can relate. From my experience Patrick is right about identities too. We need to be careful to not make labels (incl health dx) our identity. Using them to further understand ourselves and how we got to now can be helpful but also aware of unconsciously using them to avoid pushing comfort zones or to just be. Observe yourself as you live life: thoughts, emotions, needs, rxns etc but w/o any analysis, judgement or identity. Make sense? You’re enough just as you are. Always were and will be. Peace and health.

The pet thing really hit me. When our pet rabbit died I was distraught. He had a sudden stroke. My mom got annoyed with me because he was "just a rabbit" and I was overreacting because I was crying. I was like 15. No one else at home seemed bothered. I was the one who also had insisted we take him to the vet when he was stroking out.

@areemann5499

Жыл бұрын

Oh yes I hear you! My dogs are / were my babies; mom made some mean comments to me about this over the years.

@lawriefoster5587

11 ай бұрын

Hello, my Brother. Animals, the furbabies we have known, have souls, have feelings. There is no such thing as a "just a" in this world or on this plane. That wonderful rabbit is still.there for you!!

@k.mihalic8945

10 ай бұрын

I had such similar things happen with dogs and my family not feeling the extreme pain I felt for a truly loved by all animal. I cry years later thinking about them. I always wanted to understand why no one else was devastated like me. Having learned I have BPD a few years ago helped me finally understand why I have severe reactions when others don’t.

@stealthwarrior5768

10 ай бұрын

Sitting on a beach and having all the dogs come to say hello because they feel your love vibe is wonderful. I learnt to keep my HSP qualities to myself because it was the only way to survive in a violent world but the dogs can sense you whenever your near them 😊

@anothercampervanchannel

10 ай бұрын

Aww 😪

It’s not easy being a HSP. I take on a lot of other peoples emotions, abuse, Trauma. As a child, I was very sensitive and kind. I just wanted to please my narcissistic mother. She ignored me and I was neglected. I saw she couldn’t keep the house cleaned so I cleaned it for her. I was 6 or 7. I felt bad for her. I wanted her love. I never got attention or love. I’m 50 now and I’m am still a people pleaser. I’m depressed and struggle with my troubled past. My mother ruined me Please make NPD abuse a crime! These narcissistic parents murder your soul

@thepracticaltheprinciple2661

2 жыл бұрын

I remember at a young age cleaning the house too! I tried so hard to make my mom's life better. I have always felt like I was her parent instead of the other way around. Not until having my own kids did I realize how messed up it was. I mourn not getting to just be a kid.

@IzzyCanterra

2 жыл бұрын

My heart goes out to all three of you!

@sonnyjeffers0223

2 жыл бұрын

I cleaned the house too at a very young age to keep mom and dad from fighting & to keep her happy

@Gracie.Gardener

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! My Narc parent would rage about how overwhelmed she was and how no one helped. From a young age I would dust, vacuum, do dishes. Then she ignored, criticized my efforts or say something like “what do you want a medal?”

@stefaniamirri1112

Жыл бұрын

Same here, sending tons of hugs

I always tell people sensitivity and fragility are two different things. Sensitivity is detecting small changes in one's environment. Fragility is an inability to cope well with small changes.

I am literally SOBBING. I’m only 12 minutes into this video and am absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the fact that this is describing me to an exact tee. I have never felt so understood or connected to something in my entire life until now. I answered every question with a shouted YES! And am in a state of shock to say the least.. my entire life I have been trying to figure out why I am the way I am and knew I was extremely different than anyone else. I actually burst into tears when you said, “you might feel like an alien,” because that’s something I have literally always said my entire life, “Ive always felt like an alien, because I can’t find anyone that feels and thinks the same way I do…” Even recently, I’ve been questioning that I maybe I am autistic or am on the spectrum, and with all of these characteristics, I can see now how easily they can be seen as one in the same. Especially when it comes to the toxic family, every single thing I answered “holy f**king s**t” it’s absolutely wild, like I’m still in disbelief right now. It feels like you have described me and my entire life to me, as if you’ve known me forever. Wow. And up until now I have never heard of HSP, but when I tell you, there is not one single thing that you’ve said in your entire that I answered “well maybe not that one..” nope, like I said, every single thing you’ve said, has made me sob and shout YES YES YES! I have always felt so incredibly lost my entire 28 years on this planet, and knowing this information now, might have actually saved my life. Thank you, so incredibly much.

@evilkitty1994

4 ай бұрын

I am an Autist and what he is describing to me is Autism, what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome. Women are often misdiagnosed with personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder or Bipolar before properly diagnosed with Asperger's. People who try to diagnose themselves say Highly Sensitive Person instead but I'd argue more than half of the time a person who considers themselves a HSP is actually Autist in some way.

@Tara-sunshine

4 ай бұрын

@katie same here its wild, knowledge is power❤

@lakshmiprabha1543

3 ай бұрын

Exactly, you have written what I'm about to write, 🤌💯

@raziel1687

22 күн бұрын

​@@evilkitty1994I think the two are different in that Autistics can have sensory disorders or issues just like those who are HSPs but are usually very poor at reciprocating and mimicking or understanding other's behaviors which means they lack empathy. But HSPs have a lot of empathy and understand other people's emotions. I was diagnosed with Autism as a child, but I never fully related to the diagnosis because I do have empathy. I just personally never learned how to socially reciprocate because I was neglected and had no one to really learn from and my mother also had autistic and narcissistic traits because she was also abused as a child.

@evilkitty1994

17 күн бұрын

@@raziel1687 It's a misconception that all Autists have low empathy. Many have extremely high empathy and that's why we have meltdowns. This is especially true of women. My empathy is so high that I have an Empathy Disorder. So your argument really doesn't distinguish a difference. Although I respect your opinion, I can't agree that Autists automatically lack empathy. It's a gross judgment that isn't true at all of most Autists. It's one of the most common things that annoy the heck out of Autists that NTs think of us...when it's actually NTs who tend to be lower when it comes to empathy.

I would watch Matilda time after time after time as a little girl. I wished that I had someone to rescue me like Miss Honey. A psychologist told my mother that I was an HSP from a very young age, but she weaponized it and did exactly what you describe. I'm so glad this type of content exists now.

@kyleweaver7953

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@TheDutchessOfCornville

2 жыл бұрын

Same here, too. Much love to all of you who dealt with this

@dariosergevna

2 жыл бұрын

I bought this book on my native language and I guess it would help me to relax before going to bed? It is a positive storyline there, right? Yeah I usually wish someone MIGHT help me, because I have it so difficult, then later I get more and more irritated over the fact that I start taking it for granted and become kind of dependent…does Patrick speak about it in his video? I also think that HSP is pretty similar to ADHD…

@linzlu7051

2 жыл бұрын

Same my mom bashed ms honey and ridiculed me cuz she knew I had thoughts that I wish she was my mom😱

@marije8562

2 жыл бұрын

It's so weird and reaffirming to read your comment, I wanted a Ms. Honey in my life so bad!

Being HSP who has dealt with narcissists all my life - at this point "normal" people are a mystery to me. I tend to befriend narcissists. So much so that if someone wants to be my friend I have to question if they are a narcissist, lol. I don't know how to approach normal people, because they don't do the "love bombing" thing (so they seem cold to me). At the moment I am in the observation mode - just working on myself and watching others. P.S. Thanks for saving the cat, Patrick!

@ebd12345

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you. You shined a light on why I am not excited by nice normal men, as I respond to and am missing the love bombing.

@ElanaVital83

2 жыл бұрын

So...you're so used to the love bombing, you feel weird if someone DOESN'T do it? Wow, I think I do that, too. Never really thought of that perspective before

@minnae.1747

2 жыл бұрын

@@ElanaVital83 Yeah, without love bombing I don't know if someone "likes" me or not. I think narcissists show up to my life, so I could learn to love myself. Their treatment of me makes me want to be my own friend. I watch all these videos every day to train myself not to let another narcissist in my life.

@micahgonzales325

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@natashasays

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Minna, I relate to you very much. We deserve better than that.

Patrick, you are a delightful person. I'm glad you're you. I'm glad you're here. Thanks for your presence. ❤️🌻🦋☺️

Right off the bat with the lone family member thing, this is so accurate. I literally hide from my family that I go to therapy because they are deeply against it. They heavily criticize me and others, but never critique themselves.

My family made me feel that I had a mental illness. It wasn’t until I was out on my own for a few years that I realized that I was actually the only sane one. Just figuring that out was hugely healing. I spent so much of my life wondering what was wrong with me, why was I always so angry, why did I need boundaries etc etc. Both my sister and I are in therapy. Different therapies work for us, she is more sensorineural therapy focused and I like CBT.

@mynotificationsareoff.400

2 жыл бұрын

My narc step father tried convincing my mom that i had narcissism.

@readygi

2 жыл бұрын

I feel this. i've always felt it's something wrong with me because how deeply im able to perceive things and situations and how much alone time I need. Being highly sensitive is a blessing and a curse. I'm so thankful for Patrick though. Seeing someone like him who "gets it" is very motivating.

@sarag1158

2 жыл бұрын

My alcoholic parents saying, "look what you've done to this family, Sara!" I grew up believing that everything was my fault and I was a weirdo. Basically everything was the kids fault. My mother was a saint. I realize now I'm the most "normal" member of my alcoholic family.

@Freespiritedqueen

2 жыл бұрын

I get and feel everyone of you💕! Know the feeling, we are the sane ones and they provoked that. After 47 years, I know it was not my doing. My children ended up like this raised by their abusive and controlling fathers. I had to be the opposite and nurture them but it has been too late for one who became an adult. Never got custody back of him and fighting for my last child, a teen who has been alienated from me for years due to hers. Been uphill battles with so much opposition from everyone. Religious abuse needs to be exposed and confronted.

@mermaiddiyartist8119

2 жыл бұрын

Yes 100%. The only mental illness is trauma and that’s caused from the abuse. Grew up with that and my symptoms went away when I moved out and even more when I fully cut ties

My parents to this day call me crazy, turns out they are just crazy makers. Once I created distance, everything got easier. This video summarizes so much of the processing I've done this year, amazing work. Thank you!!!

@MoPoppins

2 жыл бұрын

👏 👏 👏 🥰

@LKorosec

2 жыл бұрын

Me too! Distancing was both the toughest, but most beneficial and instrumental to my healing. I am literally blossoming and the healthiest in every sense since I stopped talking to my primary family members. To think how afraid I was to cut them off and that they would come after me.. I couldn't imagine what my life would be after. I just knew what I knew-that being in contact with them was horrible, unhealthy and making me utterly miserable. I am glad I made that brave step and actually started living a life of my own after 22 years. It is possible, keep your head up! And keep doing what you're doing. Healing and processing is different & unique for everyone and should not be compared. ❤🙏

@artisthusnatalal3099

2 жыл бұрын

Me too I did the same. I just send my family sms if I want to but since i distanced myself i got peace of mind uuufff! 😓

@tomorrowkiddo

2 жыл бұрын

Same. 10 years of peace. Growing deeper the more healing I do.

@sockpuppet2415

2 жыл бұрын

The crazy makers are anxiety-providers. Intrusive, controlling, criticizing, disapproving, anger, rage,resentment, envy issues--like throwing a Spider-Man net on you.

Memory loss is really impacting new job. Need prayers

@michelefitzmaurice4610

18 күн бұрын

🙏🏻🤍🙏🏻

You’ve made me realize that the bullying and my family’s incessant criticism of my weight and looks really messed me up bad. I wonder what l could have done if I didn’t have so much internalized shame. I wonder what my brain could have achieved if I hadn’t been SO stressed as a child. I’m not in an area where getting help for it is likely, unfortunately.

@zialuna

7 ай бұрын

Mind if I point you toward some free resources? If this is intrusive, please stop here! I've experienced lots of healing through the study and practice of NVC (non-violent communication). Once you're familiar with the principles, there are free practice groups one can join, or one can find a practice partner. Also 12 step recovery groups like CODA or ACOA can be very supportive, and there's no charge.

I would love to hear a lot more about undiagnosed ADHD and how murderous it can be for a child to feel like an absolute failure and having the immense weight of that failure put on your shoulders by everyone around you. i.e. "you're not trying hard enough, you never listen, the problem is you dont WANT to pay attention, you're never gonna make it in life if you can't even remember to finish your math homework, you just think good enough is good enough" etc. And how this can fuse with and/or result in an All or Nothing mentality, Perfectionism, Resentment and Detachment/Indifference or even Nihilism as a coping mechanism. EDIT: Ofcourse not just ADHD, going over Dyslexia, Autism Spectrum, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and whatever else, would be GREATLY appreciated.

@sammieclammmy

2 жыл бұрын

Yes please do a video on this!

@Malakai__WeLoveYouMafumafu

2 жыл бұрын

As an adhd-er, yes. I would love a video on that

@lindsaycraven3831

2 жыл бұрын

Yes please, this would be very helpful

@umitsmelexi

2 жыл бұрын

when u struggled w all of those in the 90s. joyyyyy. love this guys channel tho would be so cool if he did this

@bassterix7151

2 жыл бұрын

i feel this on a deeper level

There seems to be an overlap in characteristics between HSP and autistic people. I think, evolutionarily speaking, some of us would be the meerkat who is standing on a hill, scanning the horizon - ready to alert at the first sign of danger.

@llkellenba

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve always loved meerkats! Yep antennae are always scanning.

@jessm2560

2 жыл бұрын

Totally

@rocknrollsevildoll

2 жыл бұрын

Always choosing the seat placed against the wall, so you can survey the room.

@sockpuppet2415

2 жыл бұрын

Aran author calls it the canary in the coal mine. Early warning system.

@KatieM786

2 жыл бұрын

I came to look for this comment - I didn't get my ASC diagnosis until my early 30s because I was convinced it was "just" HSP. I think the overlap is interesting.

People to tell others they are too sensitive are usually abusers

I am a HSP, and although I am also partially blind, I can still notice subtle changes in my environment, and although I can’t see facial expressions or most body language, I am still quite good at picking people’s moods and can usually tell whether someoneis kind or not etc by their energy. I must admit I love it when people ask how I usually notice such small things going on around me even though I cannot see very well. This video definitely resonates withme. And because I’ve been blind (and a HSP) since birth, and also being that I’m male, sadly I’ve been targeted, abused and belittled by both my parents and siblings most of my life. I’ve cut ties with my familynow, so I’m feeling much better in myself that I have done that.

@amyshew1151

11 ай бұрын

Best Wishes in your journey . I hope life just keeps getting better 🌸

Im an HSP and a podcast that has been immensily helpful for me is "unapologetically sensitive". The main host ends every podcast episode with the words: "Remember, sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. It's your superpower". The first time I heard that, I was fighting back tears during my commute to work.

@kyssedbyfyre915

Жыл бұрын

Thank you🥹

@LR-yu3mx

Жыл бұрын

Agree with you. My dad never protected me in the abuse , verbally and physically by my narc mother. All he said:you are too vulnerable!

@cherierhynes8514

Жыл бұрын

So appropriate. 🙂

@bookworm521

Жыл бұрын

And here I am crying as I read your words. ❤‍🩹😔 "Too" is one of my biggest triggers. Working hard to learn and grow.

@serpentines6356

Жыл бұрын

I don't feel like it's a "superpower" at all. One can be quite sensitive, but if one gets too caught up in it, it can become crippling. Being more practical, becoming a better person, making good financial, personal decisions is what is a "superpower".

I love the call out of 'empath" culture. My hsp traits are amplified by my trauma they weren't a super power they were an open nerve. They still are if I'm honest but I'm working on it. One of my toxic parents calls them self an empath.

@oliveoil4380

2 жыл бұрын

This. I’m an hsp, but it isn’t because I have some bogus empath super power; it was the only way to survive the abuse. I had to be highly attuned to my parents’ wrath and try to pre-empt the abuse. Being an hsp tends to attract narcissists, as they are highly attuned to the “comfort making” hsp. It’s like a shark smelling blood in the water.

@ShirleyShortcake

2 жыл бұрын

I agree completely. I hate when I’m referred to as an empath.

@kconrad5893

2 жыл бұрын

@@oliveoil4380 HSP aren’t made. They’re born that way. But if they’re raised in the wrong environment that isn’t SENSITIVE to their needs, then trouble arises. Being an HSP isn’t without its trials but there are some really beautiful things about it. I don’t know why you’re so insistent on not seeing it in a positive light at all. Kinda weird to be honest.

@oliveoil4380

2 жыл бұрын

@@kconrad5893 I’m talking about people who call themselves “empaths”, and act as if they have some woo woo super power. HSP is neurotype. I am an HSP. I’m not some magic woo “empath”.

@iamjustsaying4787

2 жыл бұрын

@lissakarabear Being an empath doesn’t mean you are a pleasant healthy person. It means that you feel and absorb the emotions of others. Your “toxic” parent maybe a Dark Empath. That is, an empath with higher levels of psychopathy. Or they are simply reflecting the emotions of those around them.

Thank you so much, as an HSP who grew up in an angry, verbally agressive household i was forever the black sheep, and constantly and consistently called over sensitive. I would feel like i had to step in and protect my mother from my Dad's angry bullying towards her. Which would then turn into a bigger argument and they would say now look what you've done. I was a conduit for their anger as they could never look at the truth of the situation. This feeling of being an outsider, or feeling like I'm too much has continued throughout my life. I am 50 now and have never experienced a healthy relationship. But i long to experience this with all of my heart ❤️ I'm really stepping up my self care and working on fully loving and accepting myself and learning how to receive. I hope that one day i can receive the depth of love and care that i give to others 🙏💛

You singularly defined not only my childhood but my healing journey. Thank you. Be warm and well fed.

My narcissistic “spiritual guru” mother calls herself an “empath” which I find hilarious and disturbing since she doesn’t even have basic human empathy. It’s just another ego-feeding device for her specialness.

@grizzlybear4

2 жыл бұрын

Those posers can be the most damaging.

@princessconsuela9012

2 жыл бұрын

Wait. Are you talking about my sister??? 🙄

@nuthinbutluv4u142

2 жыл бұрын

@Heather A Same. The mother called herself a humanitarian, but like to whom? Reflecting on her life on the whole, she didn't have it easy but she didn't have to spread that to subsequent generations. It should have been a catalyst for change. That has been my goal. The bus stops here. 😉

@dianeibsen5994

2 жыл бұрын

Pearl girl. can you give me an example of what you're talking about?

@lynnbrocius7976

2 жыл бұрын

Hahaha that's same as my soon to be ex-husband

I like how he says that these traits are just different, not better or worse. I identify with a lot of this and it does make me feel good to think that I am helpful, caring, and sensitive to the needs of the people (and animals) around me, but I can also be easily overwhelmed, shy or take things too personally in situations where that is unproductive. Every trait has pros and cons.

@charlesstanford1310

2 жыл бұрын

Right. High sensitivity is *not* a "superpower" and it bugs the hell out of me when I read chirpy motivational memes that say it is. It's a mix of abilities and disabilities.

@Petra-ms3ku

2 жыл бұрын

@@charlesstanford1310 yes, but sometimes I cope by thinking about it as a superpower, because most of the time the bad has outweighed the good, I didn’t ask for this, and romanticizing it helps me deal with the overstimulation. Like Spider-Man. Hope that’s not chirpy. Most heroes have crap backstories, and I have crap self esteem and need all the help I can get reframing my backstory. I agree that toxic positivity sucks and this HSP isn’t something to brag about. “Hey, I was raised in a super abusive situation and survived by being hyper aware.”

@charlesstanford1310

2 жыл бұрын

@@Petra-ms3ku I get what you mean.

@feralkitten1475

2 жыл бұрын

Actually I'm so sensitive that I burnt out in secondary school and currently I can't even hold a parttime job.

@dewchamp5716

2 жыл бұрын

@@feralkitten1475 Rest and taking your time solves it all. That's all that can be said, really. Be empathetic towards yourself, and see that you just need time to "get well". You will come out of the rut. I wish you all the best 💛

Yes I’m the only one! I’m a narcissist family scapegoat, truth teller, blacksheep. I don’t fit in! They are not emotional. I’m a HSP, EMPATH(so some ppl call it) . I went no contact at 25 after breaking up with my narcissist ex of 5 years. Dated her from 20 to 25. This video is very helpful 💯❤️ I agree with your point on “calling people or yourself as an empath” as well

Patrick, you were a hero at the pool that day! 🐈 🙌🏻🙏🏻

One of my therapists cried when I told her a few things that had happened and affected me, later telling me she thought I had cptsd. I was stunned, nobody had ever shown me such care for the pain I had and do feel. I was silent and wondering why! Mouth agape! Then it hit me, this is how an adult would feel for a child, sad upset hurt and protective and not something I've experienced before. How shameful that a family can't show that child the same level of empathy. I'm even suspicious of this level of emotion as again I'm not used to it! Nobody has ever shown me this level of care and warmth in safe way. Always having to hide who you really are and feeling you're defective in some way or mentally ill! Something my mom is fond,of telling me! ✌I also had as a kid and as an adult the rages over maltreatment of animals, small children the elderly vulnerable literally anyone who is hurt or harmed including the environment!

@billfarley9167

2 жыл бұрын

Namaste.

@susanpendell4215

Жыл бұрын

Wow, I can relate. Hugs

@clarion3204

Жыл бұрын

It was so validating to share my stories with my therapist and notice the unmistakable anger, disgust, and astonishment she felt when I explained how my narcissistic mother treated me. I don’t even remember the context, I just remember that look of “wtf” on her face and realizing, “yeah! wait a minute! this really is fucked up, and not an okay way to treat a child!” It felt like I finally, FINALLY had permission to feel the same way. All my life I had been managing and compartmentalizing my emotions, but seeing my therapist get upset on my behalf made me realize I didn’t have to keep making things “okay” when they really weren’t okay at all! I’m so happy my therapist let herself react to my story from a place of authentic caring, because I had taken for granted the strength I exhibited as a child and the emotions I hadn’t let myself feel on my own behalf. One of the things about being an HSP with childhood trauma is sometimes it’s so easy to feel for everyone else that you make excuses for them and don’t allow yourself to feel for your own inner child. It was only after feeling her feelings for little me that I was able to tap into those same feelings for myself… the power of reflection!

@abbiepancakeeater52

Жыл бұрын

i feel called out lmao i always feel suspicious when people show any care for me, and think to myself how it's either probably an act, or they won't care once they get to know the real me. it creates a disorganized attachment style, a "please care about me" but also scared of being cared about.

@Cat-qo3ht

Жыл бұрын

I am the exact same ways you wrote throughout your comment even to the point of getting forceful about the comments of some friends of mine who have lamenting "pesky squirrels" who eat their garden up and what they've done. Which I won't say. I even get a physical reaction if I see just a quick image on YT/IG of a video about a stray animal. It can up my anxiety like I've been shocked. When your therapist was tearing up, did you feel like you needed to comfort her or somehow stop her from empathizing with you? Like saying, "Oh. It's OK. I'm fine."?

I always hated being called “too sensitive “ or sensitive in general, it made me feel weak. I always felt I needed to fight for myself as a child and be “strong”, even to this day hearing my friends and family say that I’m sensitive, rather that be in a neutral circumstance or other, it makes me feel mad, or naked, as if I wasn’t able to get to my destination, which is being strong and independent. Being able to get threw things on my own and “prove I didn’t need you anyways”

@samysue10

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way where my sister told me I need to grow a back bone. And going through all that made it hard for me to ask for help for anything so as a result I always just struggle through things by myself and feel uncomfortable when people help me because it makes me feel weak

@christinahooper7691

2 жыл бұрын

Me too sister

@salome9124

2 жыл бұрын

That's where I'm at except I do need them or what I feel they should be but unfortunately cannot..

@leahflower9924

2 жыл бұрын

yeah being sensitive is always so stigmatized which is understandable to an extent but sensitive people are usually the most creative and introspective, i used to think i was just sensitive but i realize that half of it was actually hyper vigilance and hyper vigilance is about survival

@Elizabeth-em2zw

2 жыл бұрын

@@leahflower9924 for sure, I always get shit from my friends because they always tell me I think everyone has bad intentions and are out to get me. It’s hard to know how to deal with these types of things

What funny is that you gave the example of walking in the room and closing the window and my immediate thought was "well that's not me" but then thinking about it, I typically won't close windows, but I will walk into the kitchen and turn off the light, and then I will do my chores, dishes, or cooking, in dim lighting.

My mothers narrative about me being oversensitive just made it crystal clearER that she is INSENSITIVE. Who would tell a child that and carry on to others about it on top of it Koko for Coco puffs🥴

I really like your approach brother. I think you are helping me not feel so guilty for being alive. Thank you. I will continue to watch you. I'm blacksheep and disowned. 62 and still dealing with rejection. No body in my family ever got help. I have a ms in counseling.

@anwensu4381

2 жыл бұрын

Keep doing you! It’s never too late. I’m proud of you for getting the MS and learning all you can to know that you are worthy. I hope you can let go of that guilt one day; it’s not your burden to hold. I really love his approach too 💕

@cyndiburns7932

2 жыл бұрын

I am older than you and have no birth family connections either. I felt guilty until a few years back. Always wondered why I didn't get alcoholism when everyone else did. I was told often enough that I didn't deserve to be happy, be married or have anything good..... Why in the world did I feel guilty? Think it was programmed into me from a baby. Have memories as a very very young child. That means I was traumatized from a baby. So you are worth being alive. You are worth having a life. You are worth having your own thoughts, opinions and feelings. I was taught nothing I did, thought, or felt was correct or worth anything. I never fit into their systems. I was always an outsider. Now I am glad that I was. I am glad that other relatives rejected me. Don't get me wrong. It is still difficult around the holidays. But I have made a life for myself. I no longer have "friends" who devalue me. I no longer pay attention to those people who have to put me down in order to make themselves feel better. Just had that happen the other night. I have now put that person who was an aquaitence for about 40 years in to the only acknowledging 'hello or goodbye' category. They are now unimportant for me to go out of my way for them again. Don't wish them harm. Actually prayed for them yesterday. That is part of my process. I pray earnestly once or twice, then let them go. Other people who I allowed into my life for years and hurt me deeply, I pray for as long as it takes to forgive and release them. Family always takes me longer. But I am more peaceful than ever before. You will make it. God made you to live as full a life as possible and has created you for joy and happiness. Every day I thank Him for His love for me, as well as being thankful for all the other good things in my life. I can see Him protecting me, now that I see that not being with these abusive people is a gift. It makes room for other, more healthy relationships. God bless you🙏 You are worth it!

@dnk4559

2 жыл бұрын

@@cyndiburns7932 I am on a similar journey. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

@sallymattiaccio7612

2 жыл бұрын

@@cyndiburns7932 Thank you so much. My youngest sister of 50 killed herself last June. Before she did it, she left a message on my voicemail to go f myself. Called me a stipid b3tch and told me not to go to her funeral. I feel so bad I was not there for her. But shelied to me, and stole from me for years. 'It hurts so much. She was a chronic alcoholic. A lot of physical and emotional abuse as children. I was molested by my oldest bro for 8 years. I have many recurring memories from childhood. I took the 30 question survey and said yes to all 30. I'm trying. I have a wonderful son. Thank God.

@juxtaposebeauty247

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're here. Thank you for doing your work. I used to feel guilty about not being able to help my family and the world at large but I'm realizing that the work that we are doing on ourselves is helping to heal the people & the entire planet.

“We have a nature based trait being affected by a nurture issue” What a powerful statement!

Dear Patrick, thank you! How happy I was to come across such a useful and informative video, made by such a lovely, knowledgeable and pleasant person with kind eyes. As a proud HSP who is dealing with childhood trauma and taking the steps needed to make things better with my family, this has hit the spot... So good to know I'm not alone. Much appreciated and much love back to you ❤️ Ps, as a HSP who notices pretty much everything, and I say this with love, you can undo another button in your shirt and those of the lapel. Will make you much more approachable and at ease, more than you already are. Or don't. Up to you 😊

Wow! I cannot believe I've never heard the term HSP. My mother called it something else - I'm so happy to have found your channel. Thank you for the reveal!

Patrick, you are a hero not just for saving the cat, but for helping others find the light beyond darkness.

@llkellenba

2 жыл бұрын

That cat story!!!! 🙀

@ptanyuh

2 жыл бұрын

Oh I'm glad to hear that. I had to skip ahead when he mentioned the cat.... Thanks for making this comment, now I don't have to wonder

Patrick’s “side stories” are priceless.

Emotion is a mussel...You gotta train it to make it stronger. No matter how strong you are you will always find yourself in a situation that will break you down. It never ends.

The thought that this is all out in the open now and can be talked about! The abuse in the 50's, 60's even 70's was swept under the rug. It was taboo, shhhh, don't tell anyone. The secrets of abuse are too much for a child to bare. I guess it's never to late to process all that damage.

@mommadee9128

2 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately the secrets are what made it seem like it was the victims fault. At least in my case I was taught you don’t air your dirty laundry for the world to see. To mention it meant an even worse incident the next time because they were embarrassed. So I learned to suffer in silence. And struggle my entire adult like to overcome it. I’m just now coming to terms with all of it and I’m 52.

@sarahbutts

2 жыл бұрын

It absolutely breaks my heart but gives me so much happiness that my generation can talk about this so freely. I’m 18 and had to leave home because the abuse was affecting me so greatly, I can’t imagine having to pretend like everything was fine or being shunned or anything like that :(

@Exiled.New.Yorker

2 жыл бұрын

Keep counting. In the 80's and 90's, we were told our emotional abuse wasnt a thing. All the credit goes to Christina Crawford for writing, and standing behind her book, "Mommie Dearest", and forcing America to admit child abuse existed, and needed to be dealt with. She's a fucking hero.

@m.r.e.5731

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, this me. Thank you for adding another piece to my puzzle.

@bobbiesmith2935

2 жыл бұрын

"Don't you dare say a word about anything that goes on in this house!" I NEVER brought friends to my house for many many years.

I think my high sensitivity comes from growing up on high alert. Always being aware and watching the moods and actions in the house and carrying that outside of the house. Looking forward to listening to the video and comparing my thoughts to what you share.

@Amzie-kx1xr

Жыл бұрын

BINGO! I am in perpetual fight or flight from growing up the same way. I never knew what I was going to get, and now it's decades later and I still feel like that little girl inside.

@amandalynngibson8332

11 ай бұрын

@@Amzie-kx1xr ditto.

@amandalynngibson8332

11 ай бұрын

@@Amzie-kx1xr And asking for help? Not unless I am completely unable to figure a fix out, or just endure. It is irrational. But I was hard-wired from birth on to not have any needs. There wasnt going to be any help anyway, so just DON'T NEED HELP. I have come a long way in recovery, but I have more work. I need help. To get help.🥺 I know I will build up courage and strength to return to the healing therapy I need. Like a snake shedding it's old dead, confining skin, my future will be brighter.

@Amzie-kx1xr

11 ай бұрын

@@amandalynngibson8332 Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean. Even decades into my own recovery, I often still discover new things like that in the least expected of places, and add them to my journal of observations I've made about why I'm "like this." I hope you've been able to find someone to help you process what you have experienced and how you feel so that you may heal in a way that brings peace to you. Everyone deserves that. Never stop, never give up. It's so worthwhile.

@Kit-ix3jl

10 ай бұрын

Yes! I have been told my adrenal fatigue is from being on high alert my whole childhood. My energy levels have always been so very low. It’s so frustrating and makes me feel like I am just lazy.

I am an HSP extravert. I have always been told to grow a thicker skin. I have always wondered how my siblings made it through. They seemed so strong. Thank you!!

To always feel humiliated and shamed is so damaging. My mother called me “an egg without a shell”. But even if that were to be the case, it never spurred her into protecting, helping or comforting me. Crazy making. Hopeless even.

As an HSP I cut off toxic relationships, and minimised obligated social contacts, I avoid crowded and noisy places and have been working from home since 2 years. Corona somehow helped me tremendously.

@katrinat.3032

Жыл бұрын

Me too! The pandemic was good for me. I didn’t have to go to work (I worked at home). And I didn’t feel pressured to go out or do always “do” something on the weekend, A certain friend asks me every Monday What did you do over the weekend? When I say nothing they make you feel like you failed. But it doesn’t bother me

@deren2001

Жыл бұрын

@@katrinat.3032 I know the feeling of "failure", the outworlds pressure to mingle in and "enjoy" life and people, like that is a must and not having that need so much is abnormal. I think finding the middle is the best, and I'm still working on that. Its healthy to see people sometimes, but its also healthy to enjoy your own company at home. Looking out for external stimuli all the time (like your friend) is also unhealthy.

@kf10126

Жыл бұрын

I thrived during lockdowns and remoting in as well. I still free to on weekends but not weekdays and I really wish I could just stay home. My therapist labeled me an HSP pretty quickly. I said, nah that seems like psychic stuff to be. But the now I hear about it and especially reading connects here that are exactly what I'm experiencing, I'm starting to believe her. I didn't underarms why others needs and emotions became my own. It's hard and I really don't like it because I work with a lot of unhappy people at work and my family... Well... Here we are. My family doesn't really discuss anything, besides me. No feelings are allowed to be tolerated by others in my family. I've had many traumas as an adult as well which is making it even harder. When I saw the thumbnail and it said I feel like an alien. I have said that many times.

@1timeslime971

Жыл бұрын

It’s been six months since I’ve seen, spoke, or heard from my 3sisters. I’m MOST DEF. HSP, & 1 sister, the youngest is a narc. Recovering drugs/alcohol. I’m recovering from deep emotional abuse of/by 2 of my sisters. It’s been peaceful, yet I’m still so sad to now have zero family, as my parents died.

@angelbulldog4934

Жыл бұрын

@@1timeslime971 I so understand. My mom was toxic all my long life til she passed about 8 years ago. I'm clean and sober over 14 years now and one thing I HAD to do was cut her out of my life 2 diff times for a total of 7 years. She had to be taught that she couldn't treat me like that. My only sis has wandered away, but we're polar opposites (more like my mom), so I'm the odd one. I wouldn't trade that for anything, actually. It's not in me to want to be abrasive, hateful, foul-mouthed, and egotistical. I'm sorry you've had it rough, like so many of us. We're in this world but not of it. I hope you find your "family by choice" because it's not always about those we were born to but the ones we choose. ❤

"I couldn't meditate until I worked through my childhood trauma." OMG!!! That makes so much sense! I have been trying for YEARS and have made zero progress. Thank you for helping me with that ONE statement!

@cherierhynes8514

Жыл бұрын

Is it because its impossible to be calm enough to let go? 😒🧡

@Sherakee

Жыл бұрын

Feels like a trust thing when I try and try and fail.

@cherierhynes8514

Жыл бұрын

@@Sherakee No. It isnt your fault. You are going to have to wade thru some of the childhood experiences which conditions the monkey brain that we continue to use after we grow up. Theres a primitive part of the brain that we want to get back to. But your responses to a toxic upbringing were smart and survival tactics based on limited experience of life trusting parents over your own natural intelligence. Exposing these blockages with this therapist Patrick and trusted friends and you will be homefree. But please not your fault.

@tribecalledmaya

Жыл бұрын

oh wow…. let me really dive in like I’ve never before then.

@user-yup-you-are-human2

7 ай бұрын

This made me understand why people cry during somatic yoga. I cried during my meditation and finally ok with that and not embarrassed by it to let it go. Took25 years😅

I see a lot of my family being busy, over working, overplaying(gaming), or addictions so they bury the trauma deep under this, to push it away. Trauma has held me back from being my true self and I'm ready to purge it. In Trauma Therapy now and very excited to blossom. Most my family has told me my entire life that I'm too sensitive, even suggesting I have a terrible hormonal problem. IT's demeaning. I have found that my healing takes an enormous number of tools on many levels.

You shared a story around a cat in a motel. All I had to hear was: men, Trans am, Cat. I immediately had to bypass the story because it would have triggered an overwhelming emotional response to hear the details of whatever the trauma story was. Even the retelling of anything related to abuse can be triggering to an HSP. I would invite you to be mindful of this in the future.

@zxipex123

20 күн бұрын

The cat was fine, he saved it, it wasn’t abused at all.

@michelefitzmaurice4610

19 күн бұрын

@katietucker1821 I almost skipped ahead, too, when he said a tan cat but was pretty sure he wouldn’t tell a story that was going to traumatize most of us. He stood up for the animal with righteous anger & nothing happened to the cat; the Trans Am boys stopped.

@christinanancarrow-wilson8829

17 күн бұрын

I had to bypass the story too. Glad the cat was ok.

I've never heard of this before, but this sounds like just like me. And I am the only one in my family to try to seek mental health help and to try to understand the toxicity of my family. Thank you, Patrick. Really. Your videos are phenomenal.

@graced.6711

2 жыл бұрын

Girrrrlll same!!! 🙌

@llm4187

2 жыл бұрын

I have, it can have the same symptoms of autism, sensitivity to loud noises overwhelmed in a crowd more comfortable alone.

@kayfitzgerald309

2 жыл бұрын

YAAAASSSS!!!

@lisaeve6426

2 жыл бұрын

So confirming!

@jordsupp

2 жыл бұрын

Self-awareness is the tool that allows you to break the cycle.

Yesterday I had brunch with my family, and I felt very much like whatever I said was met with dead air or very short responses. I took a walk afterwards and was feeling so empty and sad, but seeing the ducks and meeting a puppy on the trail was healing.

@tiffknox6158

Жыл бұрын

The animals always save me from the people.

@BackToNature123

Жыл бұрын

💜

@michele21auntiem

Жыл бұрын

I get that too. 💚🙏

@Ricki_Raquel

Жыл бұрын

​@@tiffknox6158 Animals are the only pure joy I consistently experience. ❤️

@Ricki_Raquel

Жыл бұрын

Don't meet up with them again until they show you some interest and warmth. I know it's hard because we miss our abusers, but you shouldn't subject yourself to experiences that leave you feeling empty. You are entitled to happiness and joy if that's what you're ready to accept into your life. It's a lessen I'm slowly learning. Don't let your brain convince you that missing someone is worse than being abused by them, it's not true. It's better to miss them from a safe/happy/loving environment until they're ready to treat you with kindness.

I really enjoyed your kind knowledgeable words. I’m at the end of my life and I keep going over my childhood and young adulthood to the point where I have trouble sleeping. It’s helpful to understand these issues, but it doesn’t feel resolved. All of my siblings are still alive, my parents have died. During the day I have my grownup children, grand children and beloved dog that keep my head occupied. At night I find is when I go over the injustice, I am grateful for this life the ups & downs, I wish I could have peace with my family past. Thank you for your support and kindness.

Your short about "Casual Cruelty" woke me up to finally acknowledging that I was in a very abusive relationship and needed to leave asap. Thank you. I'm an HSP on steroids I think. Probably due to childhood abuse with it as you mentioned. After just finishing a 3 day zoom conference with music, chat box, and so much going on with speakers and info, my anxiety was thru the roof even though I was enjoying the content and people. The nervous system will buzz for a few days. Emotions are highly distracting, which is frustrating when it comes to focus like you said. And yet that is also what makes us so in tune with and attracted to helping others with their own well-being.

Almost daily I think to myself, "I don't belong here" and often joke about my "real parents" (aliens) coming to get me off this planet. I didn't know I needed to see this video. Thank you so much. *I'm not crying, you're crying*

@Natural_Order

Жыл бұрын

When they do can they pick me up along the way?

@Amzie-kx1xr

Жыл бұрын

Please know you're not alone. I've never felt that sense of belonging either. Wishing you good health and healing.

@april6662

Жыл бұрын

I used to say that A Lot, that I was from another planet waiting for my real parents to rescue me. However, I often wondered why people didn’t see what saw….?

@nancyayotte2297

Жыл бұрын

❤

@nancyayotte2297

Жыл бұрын

​@@Natural_Order 😂

Thank you! I am the only one in my family (and being a HSP male) who has chosen to heal the generational abuse system of severe violence, sexual abuse etc. I’ve always felt so alone in this struggle and I had to remove myself fully from my family in order to heal.

@aselyne5631

Жыл бұрын

I have literally just reached this point of wanting to leave the family,i literally feel like i am going crazy.

@Cafeallday222

Жыл бұрын

I feel you. My dad is a narcissist and I feel like I’ve taken in his crap, my family’s crap AND my own 😳🤪 luckily I did not have to remove myself

@jhubbard7256

Жыл бұрын

For most, removing yourself from the abusive, dysfunctional family system is vital to healing the trauma and building a healthier life with boundaries with healthy people in healthy relationships.

@grimsqueaker5333

Жыл бұрын

@@aselyne5631 Sometimes you need (mental) breathing space. Partly due to my mental health, I live with my mom and sister. Sis is a narcissist, just like my dad. I have gone no-contact with Sis, and after almost a year I have the capacity to work on my own mental health again in earnest. Grey rocking might be a good technique to look up if no-contact is not safe to use. Realising there is a problem and getting help, like from this wonderful channel, is the first step on the journey to lessen the negative impact of your family situation.

@juliaraley9563

Жыл бұрын

Huge hugs!

Hello! I just came across your video and I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear that there are others like me. I am 62 years old, an HSP and I have struggled with depression most of my life. I always felt the odd one out in my family. My mother was verbally and emotionally abusive and I grew up with low self-esteem, shame, guilt and fear of the world and people. I was always made to feel that there is something 'wrong 'with me. My dad was so lovable. Today he has passed on and three years later I am still struggling with the loss I feel. He understood me and never tore me down. On the contrary, he validated me. Since his passing three years ago I have been struggling with intense emotions when I see my mother. On one part I feel pity for her for her loss. On the other hand, I feel intense anger for how she tore me to shreds. I feel threatened by her and I hate being with her. My head is in chaos because of the intense feelings I am experiencing. I see her once a week but I really wish I could get her out of my life. She is vulnerable now but seeing her is traumatic for me. It makes my skin crawl. Seeing her still makes me feel that I have no right to exist because I am trash. Seeing her is obviously a trigger and causes painful flashbacks. Sometimes, I am beginning to long for the day when she passes away so that I could get relief from this suffering. Out of sight is out of mind for me. I have been in some form of therapy since I was 17 and she sees me as 'defective' because of this. My life has been one long struggle with sadness, low self esteem, self-consciousness, insecurity, negativity, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, fear, shame, guilt.

This reminds me that many shared traits people with ADHD have aren't actually innate to how our brain functions, but instead how our brain adapted to trauma growing up. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a term I hear a lot and that I apply to my experience with ADHD, but I also have significant childhood trauma that has not been addressed

From the black sheep that's been labeled crazy, too sensitive, too outspoken about my thoughts, "angry," and being told someone else knows me better than I know myself...I had to rewind and replay when you said it's not just being neurotic or chronic anxiety. I've been called so many things in my life and mostly in the past 5 years. I never knew how much I needed your channel. Thanks for everything you do.

@71jelina

10 ай бұрын

Things that I know...I must be stupid and know nothing when in fact, I know a little about a lot of things but not a lot about one thing so people think I know nothing and ask someone else or Google it, I'm always right, if I don't know, I say I don't know.

@musicandpoetry_8

10 ай бұрын

I get “she hasn’t found someone to be with to date and get married” when I’ve reactively abused family members after years and years of pent up anger from put downs, invalidation, criticisms, gaslighting..why am I the only one who sees what’s going on?

@musicandpoetry_8

10 ай бұрын

I’m not proud of reactive abuse but there comes a time where you just burst open after years of keeping it to yourself :/

@musicandpoetry_8

10 ай бұрын

I’ve lost a lot of friends from ganging up on me, ghosting, betrayals such as a girl sleeping with my boyfriend, not having commonalities with old friends as I’ve gotten older and everyone’s like “she doesn’t know how to deal with people”, well I’ve had a lot of betrayals, I have social anxiety and have autism that I suspect, there’s literally no empathy in my family for anything

@jmc8076

5 ай бұрын

Victims often create victims. Not an excuse just another perspective and basis for understanding life.

I came across this at random, and I didn't know I needed this. Therapy is financially out of reach for a good number of people, making this invaluable. You're doing God's work, sir. Please keep making videos.

@sunflowershine5160

Жыл бұрын

I so agree $150 an hour how could you pay for all that needing to go at least once a week should go three times a week but yet I need to buy groceries??? This is very good work he’s doing on KZread to help people like me who can’t afford to go and get therapy.

@pamelafrye4667

Жыл бұрын

AMEN 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

@LeeYvesMexico

Жыл бұрын

The best darn therapy is right here. This has helped tremendously instead of hundreds of dollars for a couch and an awe.....

@krownmoon

Жыл бұрын

It's what I have to do. Paying for therapy is too costly, I barely see a medical doctor much less mental health. The cost causes horrible anxiety.

I'm a bit late to this party, but really glad I found this... I grew up in a very dysfunctional family with a lot of anger and physical abuse. I was sexually abused as a minor and sexually assaulted at 18. I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me cope and just became an "angry person". But I'm not angry. I'm just sad, and I just want to be loved. I've forgived my abusers and can't even forgive myself. What kind of torture is this, it's miserable. I'm in therapy and trying to work on it. But I think I am highly sensitive and I was treated like shit all my life. So it's hard to have any compassion for myself, but I feel so much for others.

Being an HSP, people pleasing personality, narcissistic mother and moving around a lot growing up, i have a strong leaning towards adapting around others. It was my daughter struggling with cptsd / ND and advocating for her that gave me a much stronger sense of "me".

I love that you emphasized that being an HSP does not indicate being emotionally or morally superior. One of the things that made me question my identity as an HSP or even the legitimacy of it was the extent to which other videos glorified and emphasized the positive traits. We all need work and it’s very important to fully understand ourselves in an unbiased way❤

I always felt like I wasn't really part of my family. It was like they were a family and I was just there. I never knew how to describe this before, but when you said you felt like an alien in your family I totally felt that.

@dnk4559

2 жыл бұрын

Same!

@MissOne

2 жыл бұрын

same here as well

@RokiMowntinHi

2 жыл бұрын

so... my mom told me she felt like that her whole life. her mom was 'crazy' and very verbally/emotionally abusive to some of her children, while enabling criminality in others. how can I help with that, now that she is almost 80 and seems to be regressing to a 2 year old, behavior-wise?

@nuthinbutluv4u142

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I hosted an Easter luncheon while living at home and the coworkers I invited even asked if I was related to these people because I was nothing like them. I have never met such a discombobulated group of people with nothing in common, ever.

@bluebutterflywellness2273

2 жыл бұрын

🙌🏾

wow 😭😭 i relate to this so so much. out of all 6 sisters I am the 7th, and the only HSR. It’s hard feeling things so deeply while others view it as me being overly concerned. It’s like being gaslight for what I truthfully know I am experiencing and feeling

I think you made a really excellent point at the end in particular. No matter what we choose to identify as, no one is immune to being a perpetrator of any kind of abuse. We must never regurgitate talking points like "I'm an empath, so I couldn't abuse my partner" or the equivalent with another label. I'm autistic [maybe HSP based on how this video felt like a few consecutive punches in the gut] with a narcissist parent, but I have always tried to check myself and make sure I don't speak about autistic people like we're somehow incapable of perpetuating cycles of abuse. No one is. And Narcissists aren't all terrible child abusers- just because patterns of behavior emerge does not mean we get to pathologize someone's every move and disregard their actions as the actual measure of their character.

For so long I have wondered why I’m ‘not over’ the childhood trauma which was my long standing narrative. My family have labelled me sensitive, over dramatic, and said the divorce really affected me. I believed all that until I realised I am in fact extremely sensitive (definitely HSP, possibly autistic), and I’m reacting to how they are with me now. Reframing identity is critical to me, I’m taking back the story ✍️

@sixthsenseamelia4695

Жыл бұрын

Hello Kerry. Adult diagnosis ASD. Definitely worth looking into neurodivergence/hsp. Paul at Aspergers from the Inside channel has very good information & supportive community. 👍

@KerryNeeds

Жыл бұрын

@@sixthsenseamelia4695 Thanks Amelia. Yes, starting to look into it. I love Paul's channel, been following him a while!

@toughenupfluffy7294

Жыл бұрын

the thing I'm realizing at the tender young age of 61 is that you are never cured, you just manage it.

@babyprincessplayground4250

Жыл бұрын

My channel do live ddlg and abdl lifestyle also mental health Gothic vampire talk

@TEM14411

Жыл бұрын

I stopped identifying with the past and my feelings about it. Instead, I identified the things that had grieved me as a child, understood it as an adult and let it go. Packed it up in a pretty package, gently, and visualized it floating down a river. That was the beginning of change for me. Realizing I could look at it all from a distance, unhurt place. It hurt then...it doesn't today. Blessings and peace.

I was bullied a fair bit early in my schooling, and a lot of the remarks from adults were about how sensitive I was, or that the other kids were just teasing and I should just ignore them. The implication was that I shouldn't take things so personally (and probably there were some implicit masculinity assumptions too since I was a boy). It helped turn me into a really outwardly tough, practical, unemotional person and made me feel crazy/psychopathic later in life because I thought I couldn't feel the emotions others felt in sad or difficult situations. I've only recently started to process/re-discover my sensitivity.

@DanielleMarieW

2 жыл бұрын

That’s really sad and I am sorry that happened to you as a young child. I am glad you can open the door to sensitivity now. 🤗

@Joelswinger34

Жыл бұрын

They were lying to you so they wouldn't have to deal with it. I am so sorry that happened to you!

For me, growing up Holding the tension manifested as Tourettes Syndrome. Tourettes Syndrome was a symptom of my environment and not being able to speak my truth etc. I was the golden child. I went no contact with my dad in 2013 and then with my mom in 2020. Thank you for this video. Good stuff. Healing is a cool journey.

I too felt different from my family members. Told I was too sensitive. I remember my dad saying " You're just like me." My mom also said the same thing to me. I remember saying to myself " No! I'm me! My sister's friends approached me in high school & said "you don't look like your sister, but I remember she told us you were adopted." I worried that maybe I was & asked my mother if I was. Needless to say, my sister got in trouble. I always felt different from them & didn't know why. Now I do. Thank you.

My parents made me feel like I was insane growing up for being sensitive. I went through a serious major depressive episode when I was a teenager, and they treated me like I was totally helpless and melodramatic. They ended up paying for a brain scan to see what was wrong with me instead of getting me real treatment, and they still hardly took me seriously.

@claudiavidican

2 жыл бұрын

Holy shit, I got a brain scan too. Like god forbid you treat me as a person with emotions, instead just bring me to the doctor to put some tight bands on my head and scan me.

@uyoebyik

2 жыл бұрын

It's a total denial of normal emotional reasons to stress

@coppersense999

2 жыл бұрын

That sucks. Sounds like they attempted to gaslight you with the brain scan, but the physiology of depression is an interesting angle to explore with links to gut health and inflammation. I'm an HSP who successfully manages post severe depressive episode with tumeric, curcumin and Sam-E.

@ft.meganmccarthy8865

2 жыл бұрын

@@coppersense999 The worst part was wondering if I'd find out I WAS making it up, so gaslighting was very much in play there. I hope you're managing well!

@StudentWitch

2 жыл бұрын

I got an ultrasound of my heart because of the chest pains and shortness of breath caused by my panic attacks as a teenager. The cardiologist told my parents that my chest pains were most likely caused by stress and anxiety and my parents decided that meant the problem wasn't real. My mother used to call my depression and panic attacks "pity parties" and my father would tell me that it was my fault for letting my abusive mother "get to me." They also failed to help me when I was sexually abused by an adult neighbor. Now that I'm in my mid 30s I have words for what happened: abuse and neglect. Inner child and inner teenager work have been immensely healing and helpful- validating all the crap my younger self was put through by these toxic, inept people. I hope you find healing, validation, and liberation on your journey!

This resonates so much for me. I remember when my father recently told me that his good friend - whom I also knew - had just lost her teenage daughter in a car accident. I immediately broke down in a flood of tears, asking if she was okay, etc. My stepmother just sat there looking at me scornfully, then made a derisive comment about how emotional I was being - to my own daughter. She could not understand why I was so upset, and also (as I later discovered) assumed I was being melodramatic and making it all about me. Actually, I was so overcome by compassion for this woman, and grief by proxy, that I was flooded from head to toe. It was such a kick in the guts to be so maligned and misunderstood for something so sincere and outside of my conscious control.

@KerryNeeds

2 жыл бұрын

Ugh I’m so sorry, I hope you can keep your distance from them, it will affect you how they are.

@MissAspka

2 жыл бұрын

@@KerryNeeds Thank you so much. I am definitely now pulling back and limiting my time with her to the bare minimum required. I’ve realised now that it’s okay to do that - I don’t owe her my time or my energy x

@grizzlybear4

2 жыл бұрын

That "stepmother" is truly toxic. So sorry.

@bbruce995

2 жыл бұрын

I cried for my fathers new wife's daughter who died after a medical procedure, meanwhile my father's wife did not even shed a tear

@susanpendell4215

Жыл бұрын

Did that woman even have a soul???! Not to care about others, isn't that a type of psychotic or something?! It's abnormal to say the least to be so hard hearted.

First time in my 54 years of life hearing someone name my experience. 🙏🏻

Thank you. I never felt like I was born into the right family. My sensitivity came out as a failure to thrive, bleeding colitis hospitalizations 3-4x yearly. I am glad I found you.

I was always told I was highly sensitive. It was used as an excuse for my brother's and father's bullying. I remember saying sorry for everything... Even saying sorry for saying sorry too much...

@billfarley9167

Жыл бұрын

Dang! Can I relate to that or what.

@lanajurewicz460

Жыл бұрын

LOL me too! Even in ‘group therapy’, I was chastised by others for saying ‘I’m sorry’.

@fleetskipper1810

Жыл бұрын

My husband, whose mother was an aggressive malignant narcissists, apologized for everything, including the weather. He’s 66 and still does it. I’ve asked h to stop. When he’s stressed, he just can’t stop.

@LorraineGrant

Жыл бұрын

People have often said, 'Don't be so sensitive!' often in an overbearing way. I feel angry and frustrated with myself for being sensitive. I wish I could be less sensitive.

I am 60yo, and have lived with depression most of my life. I stumbled onto this video, and I am blown away with the information you’ve presented and how much it resonates! I am searching for a psilocybin retreat with the hopes of a breakthrough since I have been in a very dark, down place for the last year. With all of that rambling, I am simply trying to articulate how very grateful I am that I found you. I immediately felt a since of hope come over me. I subscribed. Thank you again. Peace and Love. 🙏🏼❤️

@AuntClara0911

Жыл бұрын

I would ❤️to find same kind of retreat. What would be revealed? Good luck to you & let us know if beneficial for you.

@pjsopinion8028

Жыл бұрын

@@AuntClara0911 Thanks for your response. I found a retreat in/near Puerto Vallarta. It was started by American women and for some reason it felt more “safe” to me. It is pricey but, this is my life, or the possibility of happiness so it is worth the gamble for me. This retreat is “Buena Vida”. Look it up. I will leave this comment up on my KZread replies and give you feedback once I’m back from this experience. My retreat is December 8th thru the 12th. I’ll let you know… I am hopeful! Peace and love to you. 🙏🏼❤️

@AuntClara0911

Жыл бұрын

@@pjsopinion8028 So glad for you. It sounds lovely actually & the weather there will add to having a positive experience. Let me know how it goes. Blessings to you & may this help you beyond anything you can imagine.

@Bobcatspiritdude

Жыл бұрын

@@pjsopinion8028 that's awesome. I wish divine healing for you on your journey ✨️ 🙏 ❤️

@autumngrace8541

Жыл бұрын

I am right there with you on the use of psilocybin for C-PTSD and childhood trauma.

As an HSP, it’s so validating that you are talking about and acknowledging us! What I hear, not infrequently, is that HSP isn’t a diagnosis or not a valid category (it’s not a thing), which is highly invalidating. I hear it from many licensed therapists and LCSWs especially (in Las Vegas)… I’m loving your videos!

I grew up in the 60s and 70s but relate to many of your examples. I’ve spent most of my life trying to cope with anger and definitely feel better being alone or at least with a very small group. Large groups drain me and I can’t help but stay vigilant in the event that someone might put my family at risk. I don’t not like being around people who seem to want the spotlight. I tend to be quiet and find more comfort being on the peripheral while my spouse is almost the complete opposite. While walking our dog I will go in the opposite direction if I see people and my spouse will gravitate toward them so I follow to to not seem weird or anti-social. Thanks for sharing

WOW, I'm a bit startled at self recognition of being the HSP, lone family member who has sought healing for trauma through books, therapy, medication, meditation, spiritual study, now self love and body work. But yes, I'm a stranger to my now very distant family. I also recently recognized my own Complex PTSD. It's a lot to take in. I'll be 71 next month and I'm having to do a complete reset on how I have viewed my life. It's liberating. Liberation feels like healing. I'm thinking that healing our childhood core wounds will make being highly sensitive into a super power that no longer feels painful.

Thank you for emphasizing how we need to be cautious of elevating being an HSP or "empath" to some kind of higher spiritual status. It is just another personality attribute(and is often a great burden to those of us who don't know how to modulate it). I liked hearing that it is okay to let people deal with their own "sun in their eyes"....at 60+, I am exhausted from constantly monitoring everyone's comfort level.

@maryclebeau

Жыл бұрын

Wow, this is so me!!! Amazing.

@hardtakeoff

Жыл бұрын

You sound super sensitive.

@SarafinaSummers

Жыл бұрын

I'm tired from doing it constantly at age 32. And yet I want to ask you, in the same breath, How you're doing! lol

@terrapintravels3829

Жыл бұрын

I'm also 60+ and I can relate.

@bonniescanlan8772

Жыл бұрын

Not your monkey not your circus ….❤

You’re the first video that I watched that made sense with why I feel the way that I doing. I remember growing up, I was the odd one out of my family and I would get complaints about being too quiet, too sensitive, not socializing enough. They would constantly take out their anger and frustration on me. This also happened to people from school and former coworkers. The more I listened, the more I realized that I am a highly sensitive person. I actually just ordered Dr. Arun’s book and looking forward to learning more about it. Thank you very much

Patrick you have 31:47 so much wisdom and clarity. I feel like you have just given me a personal msg and now I understand. I'm just new to you and your work but you've helped me gain so much ground by understanding& knowing who I am. Knowledge is power. It's such a good feeling to know your not alone in the big ol world. People can identify with you. I want you to know I've lived 31:47 in LasVegas and Tx but no therapist has ever peeled back the layers like you have to help me understand all this past trauma. Your absolutely brilliant. A great guide to walk me through all traumatic steps I need to take. I thank God for you every day. Some of this horrible feeling has left my system. Thank you, thank you ❤

I had a light bulb moment! When you said don't let toxic people say who you are, that made soooo much sense. I feel like I know who I am and working on my self to get to know me however since I did the big clean out of toxic people in my life I now realize that I was listening to them about who I am and was always confused! Not any more! I am proud of who I am!! Thank you Patrick for your gift of knowledge 🇦🇺🤗

@realhealing7802

2 жыл бұрын

It's all about control. If they can control how you feel, they can control you.

@ptanyuh

2 жыл бұрын

Yesssssssss Very happy for you

@slindokuhlethabede7038

2 жыл бұрын

Yaayy!! So Motivational🥺 The toxic people in my life are people who financially support me so I'm screwed.

@KerryNeeds

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! The worst thing I’ve ever done in my life is listen to their version of who I am, and believe it. It almost destroyed me.