1. You're unable to access what you need from where you live 2. Lack of structure 3. There's no finish line 4. Lack of support between sessions 5. Over dependence on the counsellor 6. Therapy can take a long time 7. Changes don't take hold 8. A wishy-washy therapy plan I though copying the list could be helpful for those who might want to define what they are looking for in therapy.

I fired my most recent DBT therapist after she said that my challenges with my fiance, who was also suffering with depression, was "basically like raising another child". She talked about herself all the time to the point where I knew what church she attended, some of her health conditions, and the fact that she hated doing intake work. Nobody should ever know that much about their therapist.

@arielsong1289

8 ай бұрын

As a psyc researcher who has attended DBT classes, I think sharing personal information and be vulnerable to clients is a way of minimizing the power difference between the client and the therapist in DBT, so that the therapy session is less "lab like" and resemble the real life conversation more. But clearly your therapist is not a right fit for you to the point that her approach is making you feel uncomfortable, you are definitely right about firing her. Finding the right fit always takes time, what works for others might not work for you. Sending my best wishes to your therapeutic journey!

@rachelleet9618

8 ай бұрын

@@arielsong1289 I can see how she was trying to connect, but yeah directly insulting and infantilizing my fiance is beyond unprofessional

@arielsong1289

8 ай бұрын

I agree@@rachelleet9618

@jaginaiaelectrizs6341

8 ай бұрын

​@@arielsong1289Yeah, I would hazard a guess that the issue wasn't really sharing too much personal information but the fact that this particular therapist was projecting their own worldviews/beliefs or such onto their client rather than respecting their client's right the believe differently than they do. (If that makes sense?) But, I dunno, maybe that's just me!😅😊

@Commenter339

8 ай бұрын

Yup! You pay your therapist to listen to you and support you, not to listen to them talk and support them!

It's failing for me because of it's over reliance on things like CBT and mindfulness. Every therapist I've been to is obsessed with it and thinks it'll fix everything for everyone. It doesn't. I wouldn't be going to a therapist if just breathing helped enough with my problems.

@MorganHyde-ie5ru

8 ай бұрын

Seriously. Agreed.

@Astro2024

8 ай бұрын

God forbid you ever want to be tested for adhd, autism, ocd, etc. It's a nightmare to get a referral

I’ve been in therapy for over ten years and just feel like all I’ve been doing is venting all these years.

@MountainWoman68

4 ай бұрын

Yep. Weekly venting session. Not that it's a bad thing...but there's no forward movement. Same shit, different session.

@Avery_4272

4 ай бұрын

It's important (1) that the therapist encourage you to let them know if at any point you're feeling stuck and feeling like there's not enough forward movement happening with the therapy, so that they can address the issue and better facilitate things move forward (2) to let them know if/when you do experience feeling like you're stuck/just venting with it going nowhere, and (3) for the therapist to follow through on helping things get unstuck. Good therapy is about so much more than venting about problems. It's also about the relationship that develops between the therapist and client, and the purpose it serves in working through recognizing and discarding old patterns that don't serve the client.

It took me quite a few tries to find a good therapist but when I finally did she helped so much. I think all people could benefit from therapy, unfortunately it is not financially viable for some. I learned one hour of therapy meant at least ten hours of work by myself. I am so worried about the number of people who read a few books or watch a few videos & think they are equipped to self diagnose or diagnosing other people with no real training , also therapy speak being weaponized is of great concern.

@lililululalabooboo

8 ай бұрын

The people who read books or watched some videos that go around diagnosing other people are the worst. Especially when done in a gossipy way. I know several people that do this.

@n0ts0B9

8 ай бұрын

Yay Dr Ramani.

I’m tired of therapy so much. My therapy appointments are just ranting sessions. But also I’ve been tired of the weaponization of “therapy speak.” Sometimes people just use therapy speak to manipulate without being as obvious about it.

I think "there's no finish line" is a problem for some people going to physical therapy as well. As someone with a physical disability, I have petered out going to different PT facilities throughout my entire life and I wonder how that could be improved.

@leonard_9500

8 ай бұрын

One could set specific short-, medium- and long-term goals for PT. Be able to do x steps of this exercise in 4 weeks and y steps in 3 months and so on.

@N7AslansHobbit_Ry

8 ай бұрын

@@leonard_9500 that's true. I think some people need another person to take the lead though and work with the client to set those goals throughout the treatment plan.

As a post-divorced Gen Xer - I wouldn't consider a partner who would refuse to go to therapy. Big fat red flag. But finding the right therapist is like finding other relationships. You're lucky if you find the right person immediately! The finish line is interesting. I have seen the same therapist for 5 years but it's varied greatly. I have long-term mental health issues - but I will go 6 or 9 months without seeing her and go in for somewhere between 5-10 sessions when I'm really struggling because I freakin' forget all the great shit I learned. Love that cPTSD.

You forgot number 9, it is not affordable. I am going to therapy right now to try to figure out where I am on the Neurodivergent spectrum. I am doing this to get accommodations for a Proctored Writing test that I have failed 10 times. I am having to pay $2,500 for that local therapy. Which I am having to use student loans to pay and even then I am stretched thin and will probably have to ask family members for money so I can pay my other expenses. If it was not for the price I would have done therapy a long time ago to figure out where on the Neurodivergent Spectrum I was.

@adrielflo

8 ай бұрын

​@@aam6545or maybe it is the "work system" that needs changing... Companies should let their workers go to the doctor and in therapy during working hours, not paying those hours of course but still let their workers leave an hour early on certain days, etc. Healthier workers can only be beneficial for those companirs... Go figure, maybe capitalism just does not care about their workers... Weird...

@Bethgael

6 ай бұрын

This is my sticking point, too, even in a system where socialised medicine will cover 6 sessions under a mental health plan (that's per year)--but because mental health is still not considered "high priority", you still have to pay up front to be reimbursed later--and I just can't. It's the one part of socialised medicine here in Australia that _really_ needs to improve and move with the times.

I'm just starting this video but you mentioned partners not wanting to get therapy as a potential red flag and I just have to say, absolutely. My ex when we had been dating for a little while made it very clear to me that if things got more serious with the relationship and we were together long term therapy wouldn't be an option. He was completely against going to anyone else with our problems and it just baffled me. In my mind getting help is something we all need and should seek out. It's a healthy step towards improvement and bettering yourself and your relationships, and so the fact that he was so against it was an immediate concern that I never could fully shake..

@missnaomi613

8 ай бұрын

My now-ex-husband only agreed to go to therapy with me in a "let's fix her" capacity, for a long time. When (after almost 18 years) there was clearly nothing to salvage, then he was ready for Couple's Therapy. 🤦‍♀

Being in therapy, I would agree that therapy needs to evolve. Both in general as it relates to therapy as a whole and as an individual. As a flawed person I started therapy diagnosed with post partum depression. That got better but in working through the ppd, we talked about some of my causes so my needs for therapy evolved. I got to the point where I no longer felt depressed but we talked about what had lead to me getting ppd and I realized I had a lot of perfectionism and self worth issues which I had to work through. Then my life stressors changed and in talking through those I realized I have a lot of underlying anxiety that is triggered by stress. So over time my needs have evolved and this therapy has. I have a great therapist and I would recommend that if you start therapy be ready to address how your needs for therapy my evolve and how therapy in general may need to evolve to meet those needs

The last time I did therapy was almost a year ago. My therapist was one of the better ones I ever had, really liked the guy. However, after about a year of doing it I started relapsing. In his defense, I had to take about 7 months off due to insurance issues. After that my depression came back and started going back to my old habits. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life, so it was definitely chronic. After we ended it last fall, I definitely felt pretty bummed out. I’ll eventually go back, but not anytime soon

Therapist needs to be qualified in the specific issues you have. And at the start of therapy you might not even have a clue what those are. There should be baby step homework assignments. None of my therapists told me about any other form of therapy that exists. Like anything other than talk therapy. There comes a time where I've vented enough and i want to actually DO something. How do I break the trauma bond? How do I deal with the trauma? "We talk about it". Sigh. Are you qualified?

@adriennem590

8 ай бұрын

For you or anyone else with the same question, look into EMDR and somatic experiencing.

@recoveringsoul755

8 ай бұрын

@@adriennem590 tapping, EMDR, art therapy, massage therapy, horse therapy, exposure therapy there's so much more besides just talking. But I was also told that I wasn't allowed to have more than one therapist. Even if they're different types? There's a lot going on

@adriennem590

8 ай бұрын

@@recoveringsoul755 there are therapists who will work with you if you're also working with another therapist or someone who practices another healing/therapeutic modality. It can get confusing if they're telling you conflicting things or working at cross purposes, which is why in some cases it might not be in the client's best interests to work with multiple practitioners simultaneously. But sometimes it's a good idea and very beneficial, especially if the client and practitioners are all on the same page.

I also believe some clients are expecting it to be a quick fix and when it doesn’t happen they stop showing up and says therapy doesn’t work. I get their frustration because I’m in therapy too and it’s harrrrrrd and you actually have to do the work 😮‍💨

@CrisTryingToBeProductive

8 ай бұрын

Now that you mentioned that my therapist did give me the credit for my progress.

I did have therapy with a good therapy plan (twice!) and a time-limit, but then I realised I needed to explore my own emotional life and found a Jungian therapist who set no time-limit. That was liberating. However, I do need to mention that in 15 years of therapy, NO ONE ever diagnosed me with autism, or even mentioned it at all! I am a psych student, so not devoid of psychological and clinical knowledge, but I had to figure that out all on my lonesome. It makes me sad when I think about it.

Maybe if we had actual real life community where everyone contributes to your learning and applying abilities but we live in a capitalistic hellscape that forces everyone in to fight or flight mode all of the time instead.

@somethingclever8916

8 ай бұрын

And we are surrounded by narcissist who need to be the center of attention. They will either say nothing while staring at their phone

Honestly I don't go to therapy because I think deep inside I know I won't change and yet I still desire to go. My therapists also tend to become apathetic because of this as well. They always ask what I want to get out of each session and I never really go with any intention, but to vent. And I feel bad because I feel I am wasting their time. I just can't love myself and because I can't, my therapist says we can't really move forward otherwise. Also yes its expensive its about $145 an hr for my sessions. I can only afford to go once a month if that.

@Nashleyism

8 ай бұрын

Maybe you need to vent first, before setting any intention? Maybe you need to be heard? Maybe you need a therapist that will listen to you and accept and validate your feelings? Who will give you space to share and open? Or someone who will help you to stop when you start ruminating and will help you to find an intention? Also I'd like to point out that you don't *know*, that you won't change It's your belief and you may feel like it but it's not an objective truth. Actually your desire to go to therapy shows your willingness and capacity to heal. I think that therapist should show you how to love yourself not just tell you to do that. Telling someone to just love themselves is like saying to just stop being sad to a depressed person. If your therapist wasn't able to guide you, then they should've admitted to that and point you to another therapist. Tldr; you're not too broken to change, you just need a therapist who will know how to work with you.

@Nashleyism

8 ай бұрын

As for things you can do without spending money I recommend Patrick's Teahan youtube channel for inner child work and learning how to love yourself by having understanding and compassion. Also meditation and some buddism teachings could help if you're into that. Doing gratefulness could help you in recognising your efforts and the good things you do for yourself. Also the beauty in small things around you. Therapy in a nutshell youtube channel is good for coping skills and understanding your nervous system (it helps to not blame yourself for your automatic reactions and to change them with time). I hope you will find some of my advice useful. Also don't pressure yourself into doing everything at once. It's okay to try one thing, to not like it and to come back later or not. Sending you lots of love and hugs 💖

@FairyLucyHeartfilia

8 ай бұрын

Hi ! Try to read "The Courage to be disliked" I always struggled with low self estime and not loving myself for who I am. It got better little by little because I decided to change that and I recently read that book which was an eye-opener ! I hope it will help you :)

It's happened a couple times where I get a young client who did not have much to work on. Come to find out they wanted to be in therapy because all their friends were in it and they thought it was cool haha

@MusicLoverInTheSky

8 ай бұрын

... Omg... 🙄🤦 Well, at least it won't harm him. 😅 The money thou... 😬

@martalaatsch8358

13 күн бұрын

And your time... I'm in Gen Z and still have the opposite problem - I didn't consider therapy until I was suicidally depressed. One time, my mom screamed in my face (she did that a lot) to "talk to her about my feelings" and I refused to get therapy for a decade because that was also phrased as "talk to someone". I'm very glad that kid is okay!

My problem is that I was going every week and now I’m going every other week cause they said I was doing good. Only after a few sessions and I feel as though I’m rushed out. I’ve only been one other time , so I’m new and don’t really know what to expect from therapy. And many of them don’t work night hours. Most people work days and can’t get off of work. I have bills you know

Watching these videos is my support between sessions

Its not about 'cool', its become a badge or boasting rights. Listening to people scoring points off each other: my hurt is bigger than your hurt, redefining every disappointment in life as capital T Trauma, comparing how many diagnostic labels they have ... And there are too mant BAD 'therapists' out there who were attracted to the job because of their own issues or are one-trick-ponies who have one preferred therapeutic modality and inflict it on everyone

One big problem in Germany is that there are so many people looking for therapy that it is almost impossible to find a therapist if you are not total flexible with the times of apointments: "yes I have 1 free appointment, tomorrow 10.30 h. But after 6pm? I am just working till 6pm" "oh thanks, just I am working to and I have fix times to stay at the workplace." It is just possible to find appointments when you are flexible or so sick that you are not able to work so you are at home and flexible because of that. One reason because situation is like that is of course a good one: therapy is paid by the money you pay monthly to the state for the case you need medical help. Don't know if that is the same in US. But to pay it by your own is very expensive and not necessarily easier to get evening or late afternoon appointments. How is the situation in US?

@zweipinguine

8 ай бұрын

I'm from Germany too but i think in the US you really do have to pay for everything by yourself. But yeah, that sucks. I got mine three years ago when i was really depressed. I got an appointment out of urgency. But while working through everything it became clear that my issues are trauma related and cbt doesn't really help in that case, much more because every now and then my therapist gives problematic advice, so I'm lookig forward to finding a new therapist /s Also I'm not sure but my therapist said i have to wait like two years before i can access a new therapy again? I'll habe to ask her about that, i hope it's not true

@toni2309

8 ай бұрын

​@@zweipinguineI heard that if you are looking for a different kind of therapy than behavioural this doesn't apply the same way, but you should check it out yourself.

Therapist here, couldn't agree more:)

Thank you for this and really hoping your team can make a positive difference in the way of therapy!! I've always been a huge proponent of therapy for everyone, and I still am generally, but I've seen and heard of more and more times that therapists hurt more than they helped (often helping more to just reinforce what a person's avoidant or problematic narrative is rather than helping challenge or test beliefs or even helping more to reinforce abusive behavior and systems, which was terrifying to see/realize). Really hoping there can be an increase in proficiency and effectiveness in the field...Hoping you guys keep up the efforts!!

I’ve tried individual therapy three times in my life. All three therapists brought baggage to the sessions, expectations and preconceptions, and it scuttled the work. Several were accusatory when firing me as a client; one was willing to treat, but informed me in the same breath I wasn’t the right type of client for the treatment to work. Not likely to step up to the plate a fourth time.

I think you're very wise and I appreciate your demeanor. I like that you mentioned that short-term therapy doesn't apply in all situations. I think a short time frame for therapy seems most appropriate for problems which are based on certain specific situational issues. I feel successful therapy is greatly due to the powerful results stemming from the relationship between the client and therapist (i.e., if the client tends to unhealthfully mother their friends, eventually they'll likely play that out by saying things to try to mother the therapist, too - in which case the therapist can guide them into recognition and out of that pattern). And while the other, extreme end of the spectrum - i.e., a therapist encouraging/enabling a client to lean on them for 30 years - doesn't exactly facilitate moving forward into internalizing new, healthy inner talk and handling life well and with independent strength, my take is that problems which took, say, over 18 years to germinate deserve and likely need more than 3 to 6 months to be truly worked through. Also, I think a good therapist encourages the client to let them know if/when they're feeling things have become stuck for them in the process, and it's important for the client to communicate this. Then the therapist can better facilitate forward movement. In general, our society tends to have a quick fix/instant results mentality. Maybe we need to remind society that healing and change require an investment of time, that patience is needed, and that the results are worth it. We can also advocate for more representations of appropriate, emotionally mature, ethical therapists on TV shows and in cinema, so that people won't see examples that scare them off to therapists/therapy.

I relate to this so much. My therapist messed up my appointments and I was 4 months without it. I came back excited to take on my healing and had to listen to her saying that I shouldn't strive for happiness and my “past lifes” get in the way of healing my trauma 😑

@user-is9ry2bx9m

8 ай бұрын

I am afraid when a therapist talks about "past lifes" or other mystical things.

I think the problems I’ve had in therapy is either one my mom got too involved or the therapist would go on these huge long rants for almost the whole meeting time or we wouldn’t even touch all my childhood which is really I feel like the root of a lot of my issues and we be dealing with just like current problems which is just dealing with the surface level or my most recent one where she kept bringing up the same problem every week I haven’t heard one I think expect me to have progress every week which got so frustrating because I was still living with my mother at the time

Can you do a video about losing a pet

My problem with therapy is that the first 2-3 sessions are basically pointless because they are mostly intros. Like I have to give you THE STORY and set up all the background and that takes a lot of time. And then insurance will usually only cover 10 sessions which that means I only have 7-8 sessions left to work everything out. Obviously, that's not nearly enough! ALSO, starting over with a new therapist means repeating that backstory all over again... which means reliving trauma over and over until hopefully I find the right therapist who won't forget what we talked about a month ago. And while we're on the subject, let's talk about that once-a-month schedule. If I'm in crisis, I need to be coming in on a weekly basis! But I don't have like $85 per week to throw away on mental health. Okay, yes, I get it, mh is important so I'm not "throwing away" money, but that's what it FEELS like when I can't hardly afford groceries. I can logically know it's very important and even necessary to my well-being while simultaneously feeling like it's a frivolous activity in self-indulgent naval-gazing. The guy I recently started seeing is kind of combative, and he never laughs at my jokes... when I brought it up to him, he told me I shouldn't need his validation. I'm like, BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE, and also I know what I said was funny. Like, I think a therapy session should feel like a supportive get-together where I talk out my feelings and discuss different options toward resolving issues. Instead, now I'm questioning how annoying this guy must find me. And when I told him THAT, he said it's interesting that I'm so worried about his opinion. Like, we can't even get to what I actually want to talk about because he's just arguing everything I say. If I got a drink of water, we'd probably spend the next hour with me defending glass over plastic instead of talking about the very serious issue of how my son hasn't spoken to me in over three years, or how I'm still suffering nightmares from trauma that happened over 20 years ago, or my anxiety about politics and climate change. I just realized i have a lot of feelings about this, and I need to get a different therapist, but god damn it, I hate starting all over.

Ive been in and out of therapy since age 15, and can only think of one therapist that i didn't really feel comfortable with. He was back in high school, I had expressed some suicidal ideation--probably after the traumatic brain injury that has affected every aspect of my existence in the last 35 years--and was assigned by the school via a process that i never fully understood. He had a Freudian approach, and while i did benefit from our sessions i never quite felt understood by him. I only saw him 3 or 4 times; every other counselor or psychiatrist ive been matched with, before or since, has been great, so I choose to believe it was an issue with either funding or human resources that the school was facing.

@wendychavez5348

7 ай бұрын

For clarification, I've also had great success with therapy, despite the fact that I keep needing to return to it. "Serious trauma" is a good description of the brain injury and how it has affected me on so many levels. "Chronic" is another good description; most of my problems had a definite starting place, though some seem to have been present before anyone thought to look inside my skull. Most have no discernible end point, though I've learned and reinforced many ways of coping over the years, and will continue as long as I need to. Life keeps changing, and I keep making the best of it with the tools I have available. Thanks, Jono, for living in my toolbox! Let me rephrase that....

My current therapist is a very good fit for me. She validates my experience as a self-discovered but yet undiagnosed autistic person, specialized in religious trauma, and has been helping me with deep grieving work.

There are good points in this video, definitely points out the problems i am having in therapy for the last year or so. However, the title of the video is misleading.

Heh, I tried therapy and while it was helpful to find out I have severe adhd to help explain a lot of struggles, and to have an empathetic ear with someone, I ended up just feeling so much worse after every session than when I went in. Had to quit her after 6 months because it just never helped after that first month, and I felt so much worse about my life and my problems after every single session without anything productive that I could work with. I still haven’t talked myself into believing it’s worth it to seek out someone new and try again.

@takanomemihawk7860

4 ай бұрын

"Therapist are like shoes, you have to try multiple pair before finding the right one and often, after a while, you need to change or get another pair for a different situation." I like that sentence, I feel it is kinda logical and funny at the same time I hope you do to^^

I've been in therapy since 3rd grade, and I'm now 25. My pediatric therapist, in hindsight, was probably not that good. I feel like ever since I moved to a new organization and some new therapists, I've been doing better with my MDD and anxiety. I have just been given Abilify, while also on Welbutrin and Cymbalta. I took my first dose today, and obviously, it's not going to work right off the bat like that. Time will tell.

This sounded kind of like an advert, but nevermind. When treated more like a guide(line?) sort of thing I can tell that my weird therapy actually works, even if at times I have doubts about continuing with this particular therapist. It's funny how many things you actually pick up along the way which are what they're supposed to be. Anyway I'd like to hear about inner resistance durind therapy, because there's not much about this topic anywhere, and I find it very hard to deal with it at times. A very interesting topic (at leat in my opinion).

I feel like my therapists don't know what to do with me ... Like I already have at least a vague idea of Why I might be having a certain issue.... But not how to get past it.... But they're so used to helping someone figure out the why, and that somehow leading to the person being able to cope with it or being receptive to their coping suggestions? .... But I can intellectually know I'm overreacting to something in the moment.... But that doesn't stop the automatic reactions nearly enough.... At best it allows me to catch myself, in the moment, and redirect somewhat ( but that's only if with people who will allow me to walk away/ come back to the Convo when in a less emotional state, otherwise I'm apologizing and restating after or never seeing that person again 😫) So the different CBT methods don't really help and I don't see how they help anyone when in the actual moment cause it takes time to do all that with the person right in front of you expecting a reaction/response 😫😫😫

I went to therapy many years ago it was my first and my last , I never went back reason I stopped was because the therapist I saw was ok for the first hour but soon took a nose dive when they started to compare me to other clients and there problems saying put yourself in there shoes , I said “ never realised I was in a competition of who’s problems are the worse’d do I get a reward at the end of the session “ burst out laughing and walked out even though I laughed out of the fact it was out the blue I thought they were a joke and because of that I tarred all therapists with the same brush plus they hurt my feelings even though I shrug hurt off with laughter I’m definitely a weirdo I know 😅

Can u share what all book u have read and which one are your favourite

I have a friend who desperately needs specialized therapy and possibly medication to the point that she's verbally abusing those around her. How can we convince her to at least look into Mended Light?

I feel really bad for wanting to look for another therapist especially since 2 reasons have something to do with my therapists age. The first reason is because my therapist keeps forgetting what I’m telling him, he’s older than the average age to retire, I am very sorry about that reason and I feel mean, also he will have his reasons why he’s still working, but the second reason is that his generation has VERY different views on many things and at some points we were talking about my sexual orientation and he doesn’t really “buy” me being queer. For him I’m either straight or a lesbian, everything else is confusion. Which leads to the third reason, the chemistry isn’t the best but it’s hard to get myself to look for another therapist. But I will be able to do it. Somehow.

My issue is that I can't afford to pay an experienced therapist. Most charity and low-cost therapy programs pull mostly from students and recent graduates who are just starting. Our web of cards has left more than one such therapist speechless and confused.... Which is not a helpful reaction beyond validation that we're not imagining how fucked shit is (which is what most MD's seem to want us to believe) I'll never forget the face of the poor guy when he said "I thought we were going to do normal marriage counseling stuff.... Your relationship is strong, I'm not sure how to help you with the rest"

tytyu

In my opinion the therapists should first focus on a more practical approach to issues like talk therapy and then delve deeper if there's a deeper concern. The therapist I consulted immediately started diagnosing me with disorders. A therapist should go beyond their own biased perspectives.

So i don't have a ton of acute trauma but I do struggle with depression (since I was 14, I'm now 39) and deal with chronic trauma. I've been seeing my current therapist for about ten years now and feel that I'd like to keep seeing her every two weeks indefinitely... Is it an issue that there's no finish line? One of the things I love about having regular contact with her is that when things get bad, I know I already have a session on the calendar, and when things are going well, we get to use those sessions for more deep dive type of work (right now we are doing tons of inner child work). I'm just curious because I kind of viewed it more as a permanent member of my health care team, like my PCP, dentist, gyno, dermatologist, etc. who also don't have *finish lines" for care.

5/5Therapys⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

where's number 9, "unaffordable or insurance doesn't cover" edit: also, paying a therapist when they expect me to do the work I'm paying them for? bruh

My only objections is that "therapy speak" is also being wesponized.

@Bethgael

6 ай бұрын

Especially with Gens Y & Z doing a lot of self-diagnoses after doing questionnaires on the internet. These are great if they push you to go "hm, maybe I need to see if that's a thing I need to look at", but self-diagnosing then presuming you're correct is damaging a lot of people, especially since MDMA is now being used as a self-medicated "anti trauma" drug. Like, that will work, but I remember the 80s when doing that with a psych was causing "false memory syndrome" because psychs didn't fully understand how not to implant memories doing this, and now you have YAs doing it to themselves and then cutting off their families for things that never happened, but they truly believe did. It's harmful for everyone, especially the poor 20-something who thinks they've been through trauma that never happened, or worse, have made trauma that DID happen worse, or bigger, or different than it was.

Sorry. I am going to quit this video but I am a millennial who tried SI and what it led to when I was 17 in 2006. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and got bullied a lot for going to therapy and now there aren't people who I can go to because the pries are so high and there's no openings

This video is great. I am currently launching my own mentoring programm and I couldn't agree more with the things you said. Also I would like to add something why I think traditional therapy often "fails". It doesn't involve the body and our physical memory. It just stays at the mental level. I am trained as a holistic breathing therapist (3 years of theoretical and practical training) and our bodies store all our emotions, our thought-patterns, our memories. The word "muscle-memory" doesn't only apply for sport, it applies to everything we went through in our live. So even when your mind knows "Today I am safe, there is no danger in this situation! for example, the muscles tense up, your breathing changes and every cell sends the signal "danger" to your brain. That's why it's important to work with the body and the somatic experience to change things, and not only talk, journal ect.

No… no, definitely do not think it’s a good fit for me. Y’see, what I took away from this was that the therapist is fairly redundant in this scenario. I mean, the one flaw you never mentioned was that you pay a buttload of money to sit with someone for 50 minutes and hope it helps. And you all tell us to shop around, meet with different therapists, establish a good rapport. For upward of $100 or more a session. Sometimes it takes several to find out this therapist isn’t for you. You now need a new one. Your therapy budget is now out some $400 or so, non-refundable even though you did not receive results, and you’re back at square one. And I mean, we’re paying for your time and you should receive said pay, but that doesn’t mean the budget is inexhaustible. Now add to that the flaws of therapy itself. The tendency of therapists to not return calls and messages to a person who is seeking their help for mental health issues. The therapists who can’t see past their pet diagnoses. The ones whose primary advice is to buy a book (often theirs), or who write the whole time while you talk, or who don’t believe in conditions that may be exactly what you have. People who need a therapist as much as you do and think that their education equals wisdom. The whole fact that paying someone to care about your psychological well-being while caring about that of any number of other people is kind of ridiculous. It’s disingenuous to suggest you are actually that concerned with seeing this one person get well. At the end of the day, the effect of the massive amounts of bad therapy on a struggling individual amounts to seeing a doctor for a broken leg and having them hit it with a hammer and tell you to buy a book about making your own splint. Except that we can establish the fact that your leg is broken and the doctor did more harm than good. A bad therapist is very often all but untraceable, and they can say that you just didn’t follow the plan. Just sell your therapy videos, man. We can do this ourselves.

@Bethgael

6 ай бұрын

Yes. Also: Therapists who try to use CBT in an attempt to gaslight you into believing you don't have physical disorders, like, as an example, ME/CFS is my sticking point. It's like trying to gaslight your body into believing you don't have a broken leg. Someone with ME/CFS is literally starving/failing at a physical, cellular level (and this has been well-known for years now) and many psychs are still all "it's just that you're too negative and lazy, here are some exercises. Also, get more sun.". Argh. Just freaking catch up with medicine, FFS. Hm. I may still be a bit salty about that. People *die* of ME/CFS. and yet some psychs still refuse to believe it's "real".

I think therapy isn`t failing, is learning with the times... And yeah, not all the terapist are good therapist to all type of patients, that`s why the patients need to understand that they need to find That terapist for them and, more important, that they are the person with the problem, they have to accept the help, even when it seams that its not what we want or how we want.

Does anyone else feel like this video just feels like advertising

I like how these videos start but I'm kinda getting tired of it turning it into and ad for your services at the end. Feels manipulative.

Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Tensei.

Just as I suspected, this is nothing more than an 8 & 1/2 minute ADVERTISEMENT for this guy's company! He's simply another pitchman trying to sell you something. Rather disingenuous of him to start out making you think it was something different. For those questionable ethics (or lack thereof) alone, you should look somewhere else if you really need therapist.

@adrielflo

8 ай бұрын

Well.. It is a youtube chanel with the goal of promoting a service that they provide... Of course they will promote themselves... Nonetheless, i agree that the title is misleading.

It's kind of baffling to me that people would *need* a long term therapist unless they have a *Significant* amount of trauma like PTSD, CPTSD, domestic abuse, child abuse, etc. Most people don't need long term therapy. I had therapy for a little under a year and it gave me the tools to get my anxiety under check. That is a sign of a good therapist. I had an issue with wallowing and circular thinking. I still have a tendency to do it, but I reflexively find myself asking the same questions my therapist did to get me out of those circles.

The modern generation and the world they are creating is driving me to therapy. I didn't need it 30 years ago.

@thegaytay4327

8 ай бұрын

Sounds like you really do need therapy lol