I have let my parents control me my whole life, and because of it I'm now depressed,sad, lonely! It's like I have watched people live life to the fullest, while I'm standing behind a fence.

@snowflake9517

5 жыл бұрын

I know EXACTLY how u feel

@NicoleAliyah

5 жыл бұрын

Do u have a job? How old are you.

@amandagarcia7771

5 жыл бұрын

I understand because same

@smarzjason5730

4 жыл бұрын

same

@zacktyler917

4 жыл бұрын

EXACTLY

When you’ve finally had enough 💀

@freexy3654

3 жыл бұрын

ngl your profile pic shows youre probably 9 years old.

@Doggo2004

3 жыл бұрын

Itachi

@giannaedwards4864

3 жыл бұрын

ong

@lcvnmi

3 жыл бұрын

omg ur pfp

@mariekano9730

3 жыл бұрын

As a 27 year old I put my foot down and decided to live with my boyfriend. I had to choose between my dad or him and it wasn't fair.

It’s pretty damn annoying when your parents just don’t trust you anymore and every time you ask for something they will say no, they control your life and they force you to do some things that you don’t like I’m in a situation when my parents black mail me if I don’t do some tasks they take everything I like and I can’t stand up because I will always lose, it’s sad and depressing , It’s a situation that you can’t escape from

@jaydagod4603

5 жыл бұрын

Bro swear to god i feel you 🙏🏽

@cocoloco6060

4 жыл бұрын

Anymore?They never did.Other than my dad,he doesn’t over control me

@deeanastyles5658

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly what im experiencing

@fartymcfly5188

4 жыл бұрын

I'm old enough to do literally anything I want to an extent, and my mom literally got onto me for SNIPPING the dead ends off my hair smh. So now she said we aren't able to have shut bathroom doors? She just doesnt let me do the smallest things.

@scottydippin1984

4 жыл бұрын

Move out bro

I think this video lacks some insight on the toxic nature of being controlled.

@justawoman

4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing. This video is from a naive point of view

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

Literally

@Ash_Queen16

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pxa111 THIS!!!

@NadaJBfan

3 жыл бұрын

I think he’s just another controlling parent justifying his actions by saying he doing it out of love. Bullshit.

@allisonscanlan4144

3 жыл бұрын

exactly 100%

I think an issue is that a lot of times young people internalize their parents control such that they begin to doubt themselves and feel incapable of making their own decisions or even just making good decisions. It's probably difficult to overcome that indoctrination, good psychologists are definitely beneficial in those cases

@dulcineadeltoboso3748

4 жыл бұрын

I absolutely agree with you. Oftentimes the parents are not the problem but the (internalized) parents within us are.

@goozii3937

Жыл бұрын

My whole fucking life. She's a fuckin hypocrite too!!

@cavaloero

7 ай бұрын

This began in the neo-Nazi system created by a Prussian in the 1700s, a system that is still standing today and that makes children, young people, adults become products of the system, THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.

@cavaloero

7 ай бұрын

And you who read this comment will undoubtedly become successful in life.

Your parents don't always love you and have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they're narcissistic and want things their way therefore they want to control you. This video brings true for parents that are loving and actually care about their children which is rare these days.

@principlebasedliving3294

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your comments. My video is not saying that all parents are loving or that all parents are unloving. I have many other videos that I would encourage you to view if you are really interested in improving your relationships. What I do believe is that most people are good and that we behave in ways that we think will “make us happy”. Our intent most of the time is not to “hurt” others unless we are feeling hurt and then we want to “hurt” back. The truth is, and when we truly understand this, we can be truly happy and free, is that no one can control us, other than physically controlling us if they are bigger and stronger, we are free to do whatever we want in the place we are at in our life but we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. So, I don’t have to do what my parents want me to do but their are consequences for the choices I make And the last thing is, and this may be difficult to understand or agree with, but no one can “hurt” another person. They can do hurtful things but the person who is the recipient of the hurtful actions gets to choose what they want to do with it. Many people are able to take hurtful and unpleasant experiences and turn them into something helpful and beneficial

my goal in life is to not be like my parents.

@Imaniwitch

Жыл бұрын

Fr!

@ChevyMan2016

Жыл бұрын

Amen

@yungcash8800

5 ай бұрын

BINGO 🎯

@jediconnor9349

14 күн бұрын

I feel that sometimes.😂

I’m 20 and my mom controls every aspect of my life and I have no freedom 🙃

@riell.4021

4 жыл бұрын

i feel for you man, this is a pretty sucky society we live in

@scottydippin1984

4 жыл бұрын

Just got to move out of their home

@eaiza8285

4 жыл бұрын

@@scottydippin1984 lucky you. I once managed to move out, but they made de feel so guilty for ''abandoning them'' and I had to move back. Now I'm back to living like a 13 yo kid again.

@TMillerm16

4 жыл бұрын

Same bro i'm 22

@Fran-mh2ef

4 жыл бұрын

I am the same way. I am also 20 years old about to be 21 in just a few months. My mom is the EXACT same way because the god of the bible is that way. See my mom is the kind of mom who doesnt want to listen to ANYTHING ELSE BUT THE BIBLE. She will NEVER listen to anything that might come into contradiction with her beliefs. She will NEVER listen to pop music or scientists who don't STRICKLY agree with her overbearing control freak ass beliefs. And thats one of the main reasons why an otherwise normal person would be overbearing and controling. She thinks that she needs to be a "mirror image" of the god she worships. Since the god of the bible has been CLEARLY PROVEN to be an evil, overbearing misogynistic control freak, that's why she is the way she is. She takes every single solitary word in the bible to be true. She thinks slavery is ABSOLUTLEY ok, that its OK to stone gay people and that ALL PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF AGE, STATUS GENDER RACE ETC should all burn in hell with their teeth clenching for eons and eternity. And since she has an UNDYING need to be an exact copy of this god who would do this she has become one of the worst most over bearing mothers i have EVER run into!!!! I have talked with and been friends with and am friends with CHRISTIAN moms who do NOT ACT like my mother does!!!!! So if you feel as if your mom is controlling just look at my example that i gave u of my REAL LIFE MOTHER WHO I AND MY 2 OLDER BROTHERS TERRIBLY HATE WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!

This video only tells one thing "LET YOUR PARENTS CONTROL YOU"

@Mitchthe1soul

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pxa111 Very true. People in general have this naive belief that everybody and I do mean everybody that has a child, whether biological or not is a selfless, loving person and that's not true. Some people have kids for the most selfish reasons in the world and don't really care about their child/children. They want to appear to care about their child/children, but they don't really give a dang.

@petersierra9422

4 жыл бұрын

You guys are so torchie..

@ninjakhu

3 жыл бұрын

I have to say but this video is actually shit

@yungcash8800

5 ай бұрын

Definitely not 😂

I can agree and disagree My parents control me My mother freaks out when she feels she is losing control and my dad just sides with my mother And I know for a fact they don’t love me. Because I’m a foster child. I know how it feels to be property passed around like trash the next person wants to get rid of. Im 17 years old and I can deal with anything else but, when my parents take shit from me such as going to the gym and my time at the gym IM GOING TO BE MAD LOL. Thanks for the video man.

I have a controlling mother, I'm 35 n moved out and she still treat me like I'm still 16, she claims that she can't help it.

@angelabob1582

4 жыл бұрын

Scotty Dippin Same here you in yo own shit and they still treating you like a child. So annoying!!

@adamsamuel8593

4 жыл бұрын

It comes down to you. Are you willing to take a stand by saying "Mother do not come to my home and talk to me like a child. If you can't do that do not come."

@wanderingthedesert5599

3 жыл бұрын

You know, I'm wondering if a lot of us lack the ability to assert ourselves.

@ryans413

3 жыл бұрын

My mom kinda like that she means well and loves me but she just can’t help it and how do you say back off without hurting your mothers feelings

@yungcash8800

5 ай бұрын

​@@ryans413it ain't no other way to say it kindly but saying it ( BACK OFF MOM IM GROWN NOW )

“Do not do…xyz” mostly comes with severe consequences, moral obligations, guilt and a whole lot of social conditioning.

@michqlle1862

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not allowed to cut my hair into a boy-cut because there will be "severe consequences" Is that's good example? ._.

@nabranestwistypuzzler7019

4 жыл бұрын

Clay Allison I would just go back inside anyways.

@noeminoyola5657

3 жыл бұрын

Heck,my parents are freaked out right now,because this guy and I want to date.I’m 18 and the guys is 23,so we’re both adults.But I have strict,Mexican parents and I’m their eldest daughter...Wish both of us some luck,because he’s coming over to meet my parents/family next week😔🤙💕

@iam_topg

Жыл бұрын

@@noeminoyola5657 hope it went well

@GReyn

Жыл бұрын

I can't even be sad or angry, because the won't approve of it.. Like instead of calming me down or something, instead they be angry with me.. I mean cmon..

This video is so oversimplifying the issue of controlling patents. To me it summarizes as " they have your best interest at heart, so just do what they ask you to". It doesn't take into account that even though they have the best interest at heart they don't always know what's good for their child as an individual, that also can inhibit the child's decision making process and ability to make conscious decisions for themselves. As a person who has controlling parents, it almost sounds as if to say, the problem is in your resisting. This is not necessarily the case and unfortunately this video does not demonstrate any of the other possible scenarios

@ak__ri583

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for saving my time ⌚

@jesseward568

3 жыл бұрын

My mother has my best interest at heart, my dad most certainky does not. I found this out the hard way at 22. Both are controlling and my mother's behaviour involves a fair amount of 'undoing' of my dad's abuse. Just like good cop bad cop

Sir I know I'm in control of my life. The problem is my parents think they are too and will physically stop me from acting on my decisions.

@eaiza8285

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pxa111 I understand that it's impossible to address everyone and their specific cases. But I think the advices he gave here would put anyone with toxic/abusive parents in a dangerous situation, or at least worsen their situation.

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

Lol literally. Read some books it helps I promise

@petersierra9422

4 жыл бұрын

@@eaiza8285 this wasn't for toxic parent go look up the abusive parent escape video for dummies..

@eaiza8285

4 жыл бұрын

@@luke-fh9gf what books?

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

@@eaiza8285 lmao why the fuck did I type that...hope ur doing ok

I lost all my friends due to my parents being so controlling. At the age of 21 I still stay out past 11pm. They don't want to hang around a 21 year old that's still get pushed around like a small child

@thuylinhnguyenly4945

2 жыл бұрын

I hang out with my boyfriend and we only see each other once a week. I come home at around 9-9:30 (because it takes time to drive back home too) and they say I’m blindly in love not caring about studying

@charlenelayhew4811

Жыл бұрын

I wasn't allowed out unless it was for work and then no more than 5 minutes late.

@Star-vg7ix

Жыл бұрын

Move out

Im 17 and i have decent grades just to satisfy them , when i go out they spam call me like crazy at 10pm even tho i went out at 9pm , i cant go out everyday for whatever reason , apparently when i want to travel with my OWN hard earned money i cant because its not safe wtf do u want ? Im not ur property im not yours ur not my boss u just happen to be my parent , i want to live my life with my own rules if u cant allow me to pursue my happiness then im better off dead

@CaroDuran29

4 жыл бұрын

I feel the same, and I feel alone 😓 I can'r even communicate cuz of the level of controll that he has on me. The only way I try to scape is by books, art and music and I'm just so broken.

@a.i5487

4 жыл бұрын

@@CaroDuran29 speak of the fucking devil , i just had a big ass fight with them and i see your reply right now , im sorry you feel that way , if you ever wanna talk about it , im here for you

@coledibiase1777

3 жыл бұрын

At least you are allowed to earn money. I can't get an ID, because it costs money, and without an ID I can't get a job.

@everydayfun9531

3 жыл бұрын

Now this is the Problem Parents are Often too Worried that Something Will happen to Us and they WANT TO PROTECT US FROM NOT SUFFERING only SO WE CAN SUFFER MORE IN THE HOUSEHOLD THAN IN REAL LIFE cause of toxic Pple they think they are protecting you but they arent you ARE PAYING A PRICE A PRICE THAT THEY CONTROL YOU AND DICTATE YOU FOR LIFE AND YOU CANT GO OUT OF THEIR CONTROL.

@ballkicker2391

3 жыл бұрын

you're 18 now, hope now you can fuck them and live your life

Resistance is a natural response and helps you not be controlled. Helps you be independent as well.

I try and stand up to my mom who basically controls my whole life. But she takes that as I’m being disrespectful 🙄

@tifahxx

2 жыл бұрын

I tried this yesterday I said how I feel and she laughed in my face

@rachelk.9708

Жыл бұрын

Same here @ both of you

@blupyro3098

Жыл бұрын

They always say “we want what’s best for you” but what parent want’s their child in a stressful career where it is guaranteed that they wouldn’t be able to be happy

Sometimes people who are toxic and controlling are actually bad people. Someone's controlling me that doesn't always mean I have to give up on my life and goals to get validation from them and be their puppet. This video is true for teenagers but when you're adult you know you can't live forever pleasing someone who can't make compromise you always have to compromise and live in their terms. You are an individual and they also have to make efforts to be in this relationship you're not only one in this dynamic.

my parents didn't allowed me to go out with my friends,hanging out with my friends,i can't ride motorcycle,i bought my first phone using my own money while other siblings they got phone from my parents,then i can't post any picture on my social media.if want to,i only can post 'straight pose' of me.don't u think that it's too much?! now,i don't even know wether they allow me to drive car or not.i hope one day i will leave this shit life soon.but i don't have any ways to get out of here.help me.i'm not good.

@Jacob-vb1fe

4 жыл бұрын

thedyana you need to start living for yourself, sometimes in life you’ve to disobey your parents to make them realise. It’s with me I’m working but my mum doesn’t like it & I can tell that my dad doesn’t either but I still work because that’s what i wanna do, that makes me happy. If they don’t like they’re gonna have to deal with it. In life you’ve to do you not them.

@shorouqtahraoui

4 жыл бұрын

As a fellow hijabi,i can relate. I have a bedtime.At 11.30 pm.Let me just put that out there.I feel anxious doing anything around them.Their presence in general makes me second guess anythibg and I feel like i cant do anythibg right around them.My stomach churns just about anytime i do sth for myself like play music out loud or eat or ah...Its this ingrained fear.Especially of my father.I need a therapist.

@f.a0888

4 жыл бұрын

@@shorouqtahraoui same here. It is like I wanna rebel so bad. They’ve been forbidding me from so many things it is like whatever I feel like doing is wrong. If you don’t pay attention you’re gonna feel as though you are a bad person for just wanting to live life on your own terms. Whenever she tells me not to do smthg now, it is like I want to do it even more bc I’m tired of always being told what to do/ not to do. I’m in rebellion kind of. But it ain’t even something wrong. It has become necessary not to lose my mind and sanity and feeling of self belonging lately. So i am not feeling bad for this.

@piinkgalaxxy

4 жыл бұрын

relatable af bcs ive been going through the same shit. turning 21 this year but i still can’t make my own decisions. they want me to act like an adult but still treat me like a kid. i can’t even go out at night, drive or do anything i want. everytime i try to rebel they will bring up everything they provide. i can’t even live a life as a teenager. look at me now, i’m lifeless af. i don’t even know how to socialize and make new friends. always in my comfort zone.

You don’t know what the fuc* I have been through! I have been emotionally and physically abused in my teen years.

@masterhighlights9139

4 жыл бұрын

Same man i have that feeling mom sometimes wants me too get a job but i don't want to i will like to play sports to try it out but she stopped me from doing anything i am bored everyday like i said it time to make decisions

@YS92651

4 жыл бұрын

@@masterhighlights9139 Thank you for understanding!

@YS92651

4 жыл бұрын

@@masterhighlights9139 Go search for my KZread name Sam. I posted a CTR Gameplay video, the video title CTR Gameplay.

@masterhighlights9139

4 жыл бұрын

@@YS92651 your welcome

I agree with all of this. I'm 17, and I know this but I wanna do what I needed to do. My mom treats me like I'm evil cuz I don't wanna go to church when I haven't felt the need. I understand that they what the best but sometimes it goes way too far.

@randysoderquist2719

4 жыл бұрын

I think I understand where you are coming from. My hope in doing this video is that maybe by understanding that all of us are free to do whatever we want, meaning, no one can "make" us do anything, we can move past the place of feeling controlled and look deeper at what is it that we really want in our life. It sounds like you love and respect your mom, maybe by changing your thoughts and beliefs about how you believe you mom sees you ( you said she treats you like you're evil) and recognizing that she loves you and wants you to be happy, maybe going to church with her doesn't need to be that big of a deal. Maybe you go with her out of respect for her, maybe you go with her just to spend time with her and to build the relationship with her, maybe by going to church with an open mind you begin to see some things differently than you do right now. Sometimes like I said, just moving past the feeling that someone is trying to control us can change everything!

@Gravitywalker20

4 жыл бұрын

You're old enough to decide for yourself on whether or not to go to church. There are probably kids your age at the church your mom goes to. Maybe, try going with her only to get with that group who you can relate to? You don't have to be around your mom when you are at the church service.

@wearewe7951

4 жыл бұрын

This literally my life tbh...buh im 16

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

Gen z is out here struggling

@mochiluv9451

2 жыл бұрын

I really connect with Jesus but the mass aspect, I don't like the dogma around it so I don't go to church as well. Another thing is my parents would always make me "listen intently" To the homily that said respect your parents but when I told them to listen to the other half that says vice versa, they are suddenly deaf. Lost my faith in religion because of the 4th commandment

I moved out when I was 18. I’m 20 now, still living on my own. I can admit that I’ve allowed my parents and grandmother to think they’re in control because I have used them as a crutch by doubting everything I am capable of doin on my own. Now they do take control of me life. I ruined an amazing relationship, that wasn’t wasn’t toxic, that was truly genuine because of the pressure they put on me to be single. I am definitely working on boundaries and speaking up respectfully.

I feel like I'm in a cage all the time n there is something always watching me..it's really exhausting trying to hangout with friends or doing something that makes you happy while feeling like you are being watched all the time

I’m 23 and I’m single mom , my mom has helps me a lot with taking care of my son when I’m working but other then that I pay almost all the bills and well my mom has always control who I talk too . I stop talking to people just to make her happy but now I’m done with that . I love my mom but I feel she’s over control. I let her know where I am always .

@randysoderquist2719

4 жыл бұрын

I am sure that your mother does what she does because she loves you and wants the best for you. It is a blessing that you have a mother who is able and willing to help where needed. Good job on striving to be independent and to fulfill your responsibilities as a single parent! To be honest, I don't know how single parents do it? Parenting can be very challenging even when there are two parents. But, you are right, your life is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. The principal of control says that you are free to do whatever you want but there are also consequences for every choice that you make. So, you can try and keep your mom happy, but that is a false belief, you cannot make her happy, only influence her. You are the only person that you can make happy. So, it is most important that you are honest and true to yourself. As you are honest with yourself and as you strive to make self-interest choices, your mother will see that in you and will begin to trust you more and as a result, no longer feel a need to have to tell you what you should do and who you should talk to! :-)

@ryans413

3 жыл бұрын

It’s just out of love but it can be annoying I see this mostly in mothers who have sons they tend to care more for the son for some reason. Even if the son says he’s fine in his life they still ply they can’t help it

My dad and my stepmom are like this I can’t make any decisions on my own and they use my disability as a excuse that I can’t move out when I’m 25 say I can never live on my own etc

@four-x-trading5606

3 жыл бұрын

Sas I am sorry to hear I hope one day you find the courage and help you need to make it out on your own I’m sure there has to be some kind of counselor or something that can help you do this

@meganyeahbuddy6353

3 жыл бұрын

Up Yours and what’s sad is that I don’t even ever relay on my parents to help me because I work and I make my own my money and I know to clean and to do basically everything That you need to live on own I can use a stove etc so I’m pretty independent

@four-x-trading5606

3 жыл бұрын

megan yeah buddy yeah the best bet is to find someone to professionally assist you in your move

Super hard when you've got a Narcissist parent. Enforce strong boundaries including distancing.

Can I tell the police that my parents r not letting me live my life

@waleeddhaen3927

4 жыл бұрын

@goduskychris Chris Godusky OK but what shall I do about it I'm trying to kill myself because of them

@riell.4021

4 жыл бұрын

same

@yesean59

4 жыл бұрын

If living your life is so important why you would think of killing yourself. First focus on yourself, know what you want and how to get there.

@scottydippin1984

4 жыл бұрын

No they will tell u to move out

@scottydippin1984

4 жыл бұрын

@@waleeddhaen3927 go seek help

Just hearing your voice is so compassionate-I knew clicking on this video I wouldn’t be yelled at. Thank you for giving me back my life 💎

@principlebasedliving3294

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your comment! I am glad you found the video helpful :-)

@NatashaKnowsBeauty

2 жыл бұрын

@@principlebasedliving3294 absolutely if you mind me asking: why do I feel so bad upset and guilty after standing up for myself to a work client? Even if it involves money and I’m working on other business ventures that have higher importance?

I'm 18 and am currently going to college and already finished my first year. However, because of covid, I was forced to move back home from campus. Both of my parents are very christian and strict (will get to the examples in a bit) even with my dad being a pastor and in the army and is currently stationed far away so my mom is the only parent here rn. Since I lived on campus for two semesters, I'm used to finishing things on my own, hang out with friends (girls and guys), eat food @ midnight during finals, and walk around campus @1am. When I came back home because of covid (college kicked everyone except out-of-country students) out, I lost all of my freedom. When I want to hang with a friend or do something, I have to ask her. Now at that point, it is kinda OK because I'm back under her roof, however, she only likes certain friends of mine, wants me to have my location on 24/7, wants me to ask her if I can do a certain thing (like swimming or such) when I hang with my friends, and if I am allowed to, she wants me to wear a suit she's OK with (even though I bought my own suits other than the ones she wants me to wear). I have two part time jobs (one very part time and the other makes me work under my mother), do well in school (Dean's list), and even though I make mistakes, I try to make the right choices. Currently, I am waiting for my 2nd interview with a fast food place and just might get the job (but it confuses my mom to why I want a job other than the one she has me do) and the reason why it took me this long to get a job is because the plans my mom had me do over the summer + my summer class (in which ends today). My mom also doesn't like me to hang with my best friend that is a guy because she "doesn't trust guys" (her bad experience) and he's gay but how can I tell her that?? She's against LGBTQ+ and I'm not. People have the right to their own opinions and should be loved in any shape or form they are, even if you don't completely agree with it (my take on it). Growing up was hard with my dad being in the military and a pastor because of all the things they expected from me (and mostly me because my two older brothers are autistic so even though I'm the youngest, I've always had to act older and never had anyone to look up to). I understand that my mother loves me and doesn't want something bad happen to me, but bad things happen all the time and parents can't protect their children fully. Parents may help their children through problems if the kid wants help and be able to make their own decisions (good/bad) and learn from them. However, I feel trapped and very depressed because of how all my decisions we're taken away from me (and it got worse lately since she got a puppy *more for me to do*). I try to pay for my own things and I get around pretty well in fact. I pay for my car, my clothes, food, etc. And the times my mom wants to get things for me then holds it against me. If my brothers get on her nerves many times throughout a day, she yells at me and tries to control more. If I even ask her (and she says yes) to hang with friends and remind her every day that I'm hanging with that friend, that day, at that time, she forgets and gets mad at me for not asking her. Sorry guys for the long writing, it has just been hard lately and need to get it off my chest.

@charlenelayhew4811

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your post. I lived away at school for 3 years. Then after graduation moved back home. Big mistake. Even though I had a good job, she was controlling every aspect of my life. Not surprising, she kicked me out of the house. And I left but made a bad marriage. My advice to anyone in that situation is "get out as soon as you can ". My best to you and a brighter future

A breakup with a narcissist ex taught me my mom was controlling and narcissistic herself who taught me to people please . WE ARE WAKING UP !!!!!!!!!

I love this video so many takeaways, love the idea of making self-interest decisions, as it’s so true. Being constantly manipulated and controlled is no fun.

I'm 13 and depressed because of them

@yesean59

4 жыл бұрын

Remember is your life. Start thinking about the kind of future you want and make a plan how to to get there and skill you need. And start. You have to look out for yourself.

@waleeddhaen3927

4 жыл бұрын

@@yesean59 how I have to tell my mom when I'm going to take a shower u want me to even have faith that I'm going to hold myself from suicide how can I make a plan 😔

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

It's gonna be ok I promise you'll work out ur problems and be stronger for it

@Rahenne

4 жыл бұрын

Dde I have actually seen you comment on one of those ps4 water cooled videos

@Rahenne

4 жыл бұрын

@@waleeddhaen3927 sad

Two questions: What if what your parents think will make you happy is not what you think will make you happy or what will actually make you happy? What if you want to drink?

This was VERY empowering, uplifting, and changing!!! It gave me wisdom and a whole new perspective of life I have NEVER thought of before!! Video liked and you gained one more loyal subscriber!!!! Thank you so much for creating this video, beautifully worded...God bless you!!!

This isn't about just them controlling u i think it brings depression and guilt about mistake that u just did unknowingly, they should be more understanding or else the consequences would be very disastrous

I'm 16 but they still want to control me they made me choose if I should stay at my current cousins or move to my other cousins house she made me choose he threatened to take my phone

@amandagarcia7771

5 жыл бұрын

I’m 17 and I can’t hang out with friends

@FBISHOJI

5 жыл бұрын

Jeez...

@user-yx1lc1hb3n

4 жыл бұрын

I'm 22 lol and my mom wants to control me

@petersierra9422

4 жыл бұрын

I'm 36 and my mom still tells me what to do..

Yes! I feel like my mom is so controlling but every time I tell her she asks me "how? What makes you think that?" And idk how to explain it but every time she is controlling its in the moment...anyone else know what I'm talking about? Like its hard to tell them when they always have stuff they find out about me too that I'm doing something "bad"

@gabilvibez.88

3 жыл бұрын

i can feel ur situation ,,,i go thru d same

I am in my adulthood and my mother is still overprotective. She always needs to make sure I am okay. Like every day. Usually not only once. Sometimes every 5 hours. She would bombard me with phonecalls until I finally pick up. I told her she needs therapy but she doesnt want to. We have had endless convos about it that I dont like her behavior but it doesnt work.

I’m on vacation with my parents now, and I just told my mom that I don’t like it when she tells me what to do while she doesn’t do anything all day- Now she is so mad at me and won’t talk to me because I “hurt her feelings” Its always the same, I end up apologizing in the end and she never takes responsibility. Now they invited me to go bowling while my mom is still angry and I think I won’t go, what’s the fun if everyone there doesn’t like me anyway. I have had enough

My parents want to control me to go curch ,and want me to marry a women in curch , terrible

@dizziemisslizzie9884

4 жыл бұрын

Curch?

@markman4400

4 жыл бұрын

Similar

@Rahenne

4 жыл бұрын

Dude marry who ever you want

@petersierra9422

4 жыл бұрын

oOok just grow up and do what you like..

@hotshotmose4900

3 жыл бұрын

What's curch bro?

i'm 22 and i just had my phone taken away by my mom. I'm a senior in college and I have my own money and my own car. I can't leave my house without telling them where i'm going and who i'm going with. I'm not allowed to go on trips with friends, dress my age or date.

I managed to move out from my nan when I was 19 and a half years old as I wanted to take control of my life.

I Love This Advice Thank You So Much

Mine are annoying so thank you for the video!

thank you for helping me out principle based living your my hero.

What everybody with strict parent searches up and then deletes their search history:

My mom is not letting me do Pack clothes in my luggage She always says you are a adult and She’s not letting me do my own luggage what the hell this is not fair I’m going to be 21 in April this is not fair

this is a good way of looking at it, i think this would work on my parents. although i'm ready to give up since i'm no longer young..

I don't like it when my mom doesn't let me put stuff in my room and bring stuff from my dad's house. It frustrates me because I want control over my room. What's worse is I am a sensitive person and whatever puts me down REALLY puts me down (makes me sad)

"If you're telling me I can't, then the only way I can be in control is by doing the opposite of what you tell me." That explains a lot about people's decision making, actually. And then there's instances when every action one thinks leads to happiness actually doesn't lead to happiness, but I guess some have to learn the hard way then.

Wow you explained it very well

@principlebasedliving3294

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! It seems that most who watch this video don’t get it :-)

@foodstylevlog

3 жыл бұрын

@@principlebasedliving3294 Don't worry sooner or later people will start receiving what you are saying.

Be in control by doing everything your parents tell you! I'm sorry that makes no sense. My parents told me to move back in with them. And I did and now I regret it. Now they involve me in their financial plans, tell me what jobs I should get. IT doesn't get less, it gets worst because your obedience reinforces their behavior.

This is for all ages. You are in control of your own life. You know what's best for you. The only approval you need for yourself is your own. Ignore all of the name-calling, guilt-tripping, forceful, manipulative behavior that your parents employ onto you. That's them trying to control you. Please know that it's all a trap when they enact those behaviors. Sure, you might love them, and they might love you, but you ultimately know what is best for you. Start growing some independence within yourself and eventually it will flow out of you.

@charlenelayhew4811

Жыл бұрын

Excellent advice

Myself i have controlling parents,mostly my father. As a girl,18,i should already make my own decisions about my body,my actions,my decisions for university,and yet he always gets mad for my decisions and tells me he wants something else for me to do,saying that he is always right.But most of the times he is not,and when i try to prove him wrong,he gets even more mad and calls me rude,disrespectful,dumb,etc. Mom just backs him up.For 5 years i keep getting arguements,and they always make me feel hollow,depressed,i keep crying and most of the time i give up on some things because of them.I am sick of them controlling me,i know what is best for me and my future,and them not supporting and believing i can make good decisions hurts me,i feel backstabbed.I don't know what to do anymore. I am constantly doing the opposite as they say,but i have a feeling at some point in life we won't talk anymore,especially me and my father.

"Your parents want what's best for you." THAT IS A FUCKING LIE!! They want what's best for securing their EGO's and then CALLING that what's "best" for you. After all my years of living, I had to learn that the hard way! My "parent's" lack of respect for my boundaries over the years has destroyed their relationship with me. After giving them every warning under the sun for years, I finally cut off contact with them. They only have themselves to blame. After a year of being no contact with them (who have been divorced for 25 years), it has been one of the best years of my life! I advise any grown ass man or woman who reads this who have parents with controlling behavior to warn them to BACK OFF. If they fail to comply, then you have the right to cut them off making them face the consequences for indulging in their ego's.

never tell them the truth, tell them what they want to hear, when ever you can leave them, do this

@jediconnor9349

14 күн бұрын

In some cases, I think that could work but in others, not so much. It depends on the situation.

Sir, I don't wanna drink alcohol or anything bad, I just wanna make SIMPLE choices like my own style or what to eat (I wanna be vegan, but my parents don't). We are not here because we want to go illegal, we just wanna be able to live as a normal human being. I completely understand a lot of things that my parents don't want me to do, but the problem is that they are trying to control every single aspect of my life. Everyone that came to see this video is passing through THIS kind of situation, where you can barely breath in your own way without being yelled at.

I see in the comments the same story told from a different perspective. You want to do something but your parents tell you no. They might even try to make you feel bad for doing what you did. When this happens you need to learn how to not react to negative comments, think of criticism as a reflection on them and not you. Don't surrender and give that reaction they want from you. Put your foot down tell them what you want and tell them its final.

@vestah7660

4 жыл бұрын

@@HiThere-xn6xy yea same shit happens to me, its ridiculous.

GOD BLESS YOU

19 and my mom still treats me like a baby and doesn't let me make my own decisions

My parents humiliate me and have held me accountable for my older siblings actions. I’m 18 and feel like I’m a freshman on high school

My mom always means well but I think she needs to back off a bit I’m 30 and she’s always constantly worried about me it stresses me out. Always asking if I need money always trying to get information out of me and I’ve said I’ll come to you if I need any help but she can’t help herself.

Controlling someone out of love does not make is better. It’s like killing someone just cause you love them.

And i escaped to another country and they still didn't get it. They still thought that i was just mistaken and abused me over the phone. Both me and my suster. My suster now works for them and its terrible. All my dads wrong doing is turned into someone elses problem. So much time stolen

Freakin underrated video... Not sure why someone would dislike this

@jediconnor9349

14 күн бұрын

Because it doesn’t explain in further detail how controlling isn’t always a good thing and the toxic side of a controlling parent. He missed all those points to come across when it comes to that behavior.

Limiting lifes freedom while destroying opportunity for life improvement turns you into your parents property, & obligates dependence. When conversations only go one way w/o the opportunity for discussion or change, you're a slave.

How to be in control: do everything your parents say

My mum yelled at me for YEARS to get me to join this teaching assistant agency, and then this year when they sent me jobs in my area she got me to turn them down. I just don’t know what she wants.

@daleksupreme2913

4 жыл бұрын

You know what she wants, she wants to control you. You're letting her! thats the key to avoiding control, you can change and calmly say no thanks when she tries to control everything.

Literally every friend I have ever had my mom or stepmom would tell me I couldn’t hang with them anymore this lead me to have no friends at all I finally got older and was able to draw boundries I was able to keep the friends I wanted to keep but as I got older it was indeed harder to make a good close friend since most people look at close friends you grew up with until I joined Facebook I realized there were many people like me who had the same issues but at least we can relate and understand not all of us grow up with a childhood friend or could keep friends at all

This video is so informative.. thank you for the beautiful insight.

@randysoderquist2719

4 жыл бұрын

I am glad that you found it helpful!

The only way is to leave for good.

I'm sorry but my mom is extremely arragont and stubborn, there's nothing I can do to change her, so I have just decided to move out. It will only be for another 7 months until I go back to college(if the pandemic is over, hopefully) "because they love you" No, that's not why. My mom is notorious for trying to control others. It's why my dad left her. I think she's a narcissist.

Im 30 years old and I still live with my dad I don’t have a job cause im on ssi but when covid is over im going to look for a job and I wanna save money and move to South Korea but my dad won’t let me he says “what if u move to korea and can’t come bck for a few years and i pass away, ur not moving there until i die” I know how to take care of myself i pay rent every month, i sweep everyday, mop every week, do laundry, sometimes clean the whole kitchen me and my dad take turns on tht i unload the dishwasher and he reloads it, i take care of the cats i do alot and he still won’t let me move what can i do?

The worst thing is that they think that controling ly life will keep me safe from problemes not knowing that they are ruining my whole future

You forgot one part. Some parents get mad at you if you don’t take their advice. They guilt trip you and criticize you and call you names. You’re missing a major part here. Some parents are truly narcissistic and don’t want what’s best for you. They want what makes them look best as a parent. This video is not very helpful tbh

@samyukthadevi8076

8 ай бұрын

What should we do if this is the situation?

I made a mistake and every time i have a goal my parents will crush it. That’s why I don’t enjoy life and I limit myself from everyone

my mum thinks she know everything about adhd because I have it but she doesn’t understand, she is controlling me and wont let me do anything. Literally about 4 weeks ago everything was lovely and nice but now she gives me no free will, she takes me out when I hate it and if I don’t come she takes everything I like making me angry making her take it away more, it’s an endless cycle and I don’t think I will escape anytime soon. She says “if you stop getting angry I will let you back on” but I can’t I know she won’t do it. I try to tell her to stop and let me do stuff again but she doesn’t realise that she has put me in an endless cycle of this. It has made my life so boring and sad. I only come because if I don’t she will take away everything I like and actually enjoy. It makes me upset and I’m actually crying while writing this. I just really don’t want this anymore and want to be free again to do what I want. She also should not take me out anyway because or coronavirus. It just makes me sad and she keeps giving me pills but they make me sad. She never listens to me. She keeps giving me meds because she thinks it helps but it doesn’t. I asked her why are you so so controlling and she said “I don’t care if I’m controlling”. I wish I could tell her I don’t like this hole I’m stuck in. She is kind but she just put me in this hole and it makes me sad and ruins my mental health health. She thinks taking me out helps but it just puts me in this cycle.

@vvelvettearss

Жыл бұрын

sounds like my dad I'm so sorry I hope you are doing somewhat okay now and I sympathise x

I can't talk to my friends, go to clubs or do anything, I wish I could leave them quickly

@Nick-gi6hj

3 жыл бұрын

There are too many places to go besides clubs, not a healthy place either way

one day I'm just gonna hit a breaking point 😃

I’m 21 yrs old and I been living w my gma for the past few months and we came to visit family this week and my mom is literally telling me that I’m moving back with her, basically trying to force me to live with her. It’s like she doesn’t realize that I’m NOT A CHILD and can live w whoever I want. But what she doesn’t know is that when my grandma is ready to leave I’m going w her. She can try all she wants to force me to stay but I’m not staying.

How do you get parents to stop yelling and cussing and how do you get them to not spray toxic chemicals and how do you get them to clean up after themselves?

so your point is: in order to stop your parents from controlling you is to choose to obey them? Then you say the parents should be obeyed bc they want the best for you (as if they don't make mistakes regardless of their intentions).

@aldredcresp6312

3 жыл бұрын

The good point you make is that sometimes we do the opposite of what our parents command bc we want freedom, but that doesn't mean we should just obey their commands.

Came to this video for advice. I liked the video until the last section. I did that method that was suggested as they would have an increase in trust with me. And it didn't go as planned as they took advantage of it. It started off great as they stopped asking me questions for a while. I had some resistance at first. But then it became demanding as they wanted more from me. Even took some of my free time away. Even gave my mother money once as she didn't have any at the time. And still said that they didn't trust me. Plus they emotionally manipulated me into dependency without them knowing it. And as I did what they asked me, it kinda hurt that they still don't trust me. Well, my dad says that often. And now I am out of a job, due to just finishing college a year back. And had a tough time finding one at the moment. By the way, I am in my early thirties by the way and they still want to control me. Just because I became unemployed all of a sudden. I had some small jobs here and there. But I didn't get to keep the money due to other expenses. Worse is that I am stuck under their roof. As it is worse, my mental health is declining. They suggested I do volunteer work but that is not my personality. So it will just be an unhappy experience to be there. No one wants a unhappy volunteer.

This gentleman obviously has *NO CLUE* about narcissistic abuse.

WE GET NO RESPECT AT ALL MY MOTHER JUSR WANTS ME TO STUDY BUT DOESN'T CARE FOR MY HAPPYNIESS MY ACTAUL FATHER LEFT ME MY GRANDPA DIED MY AUNT DIED MY STEP FATHER DIED IM DEPRESSED AND I AM SICK IN DONE I AM FINALLY GOING TO STAND UP

I’m 27 and I’ve done nothing but all the right things in my life. But my mom still doesn’t trust me. She listens in on my phone calls, put monitors every possible area of the house, and will go crazy and keep calling non-stop if I miss a phone call. She forces her way to her manage my time as she pleases. I can’t ever travel anywhere without her permission, otherwise she threatens disowning me. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to just live by my own rules or losing my family (being disowned)

@principlebasedliving3294

3 жыл бұрын

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. The message of my video is that we have the ability to make choices in all of our situations but we don’t get to choose or control the outcomes. Your mom can’t “control “ what you do but she can influence. Once you can recognize that you have a choice, it frees you. You can choose to do what your mom wants you to do and receive the benefits of that or you can choose to do whatever you want and then experience the consequences of those choices. That is how all of life works. We can “choose “ to do whatever we want but their are consequences in relation to the choices we make. It is possible that even if you did do what you want, that your mom may choose not to disown you. It may be a threat on her part to try and control you and if you forced her hand, she may not go through with it. She may try to control you in other ways or she might disown you at which point you would be free from her control but would also forfeit any of the benefits that you may get from having a relationship with her. The most important thing is to ask yourself what this situation is trying to teach you! I wish you the very best

my parents make me do tennis and I hate it so so much. its like they don't repeat what I love and want to do in life and if they can't respect that then I don't know what they respect but its clearly not me

@rlyreagan7647

3 жыл бұрын

respect** not repeat lol

My parents are separating and i love them both but I hate it when they are so overprotective of what I do online. I have met a couple friends that I am hiding from my parents. They are really polite, respectful, and kind friends. How do I tell them that I have friends online?

But what should I do if my parents are telling me to get a haircut because they don't like it but I do? Who is right and who is wrong in that scenario? I want to grow my hair because i have set a goal for specific style i want to go for but my parents don't agree with it. They want me to look the way that would please them and make me unhappy.

Don't be like me, be the ideal person you want to be. Plus, you can do it.

Yesss

I’m 24 I keep telling my parents it’s time for me to take responsibility for my own life my own decisions I’m turning 25 in March yet my parents won’t even let me spend time with my boyfriend who lives up in Olympia Washington He works he’s in the Military he’s a mechanic yet his family are the only ones who have met me been supportive of him and me being together eventually moving in together this month.

@jediconnor9349

14 күн бұрын

How did it go for you? Did your parents finally see you as an adult and let you decide what goes on in your life?

I didn't have a summer because of my mum's inner control freak snapped...

Im 18, my parents held me back a year(even though i passed that year) in seventh grade, meaning i will graduate well over 19. i cant move out yet due to not having the time to work a FT job, and i am just not financially supported to do so. my parents threaten me with the “you live under my roof” argument and i fear if i go too far in rebelling i will be kicked out. im not into drugs or partying so the things i want to do arent too extreme, i just want to be the one in control. what can i do.

@principlebasedliving3294

3 жыл бұрын

If you really want to be in control then you need to take responsibility and accountability for your life. Gain the known and skills that you need to be successful and independent but as long as you live in your parents home, they get to decide how they want things to be in their home. You can do it!

Im crying rn i always thinking that i self pity myself too much and putting my parents in my bad side but watching here I literally a crying wreck i dont know what to do

@luke-fh9gf

4 жыл бұрын

There are free resources. It gets better I promise

@amberyaa

2 жыл бұрын

They wanna to make you think you are pitty yourself, but actually you just feel this way. DO NOT feel guilty and shame or minimaze, neclect for what you feel, it's part of abuse plan. Why? Cuz you grow in this thinking: oh it's normal. I used to thought it is terrible, they was terrible ( once I got freedom, better times) I think it's normal, " now I thank them for this parenting cuz they made me( anxious and depressed( I don't even said it's from them, nooo life is " DANGEROUS" " YOU CAN'T TRUST NOBODY AND ONLY MY FAMILY") they said true stuff, they was right, I came to the world so hurted, weak and I saw how is bad( from my broken black - white perspective) ( my hurted feelings still not matter, so that little hurted abused child never healed, but I said it's normal, and I was just " young, unmature or whatever" Now I will parent MY childs, and I will abuse them without realizing I do bad stuff( oh it's normal, I numb my feelings) Yes , i overprotectin or controlling them, but you will grow and realize ,I wanted them best, cuz LIFE IS DANGEROUS). When abused child becomes abuser, it's cycle. You have the problem, ADMIT IT FULLY.

Im 24 and still living with my mom, she still treats me like a child. She doesn’t like me going out so I’m pretty antisocial but I have one friend that I hang out from time to time but my mom disapproves of him. I work a part-time job and made a new friend there and we’ve been discussing for months on going on a little road trip in April out of town to a convention in Texas it’s only 8hrs away and for three days. As of now I have my ticket ready and my days for that weekend covered i figured I’m an adult I don’t need to get her permission just give her a heads up early on that I’m going. She told me “no” straight up. I told her I had everything already ready and paid for and just told me “that’s your problem”. She won’t listen to me and I told my family if they could talk to her to make her understand that I’m an adult. All I want is some freedom for one weekend, that’s all I ask for. I sometimes get jealous of my cousins that are a little younger than me hanging out with there friends because I long for that freedom. I know she’s overprotective but idk how to make her understand that it’s time for her to stop making decisions for me and to start letting me go. I don’t want to resent her when I’m older but I also want to have a life where I can discover myself.

@principlebasedliving3294

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for your response. You seem like a smart person and it also seems like you love and respect your mom but just want her to do the same for you. Here is a thought and maybe you won’t like it but maybe she treats you like a child because in some ways you still act like a child? You are 24 which means you have been an adult for 6 years! Why are you still living with your mom? If it is because you can’t afford to move out, that is on you. There are a lot of 24 year olds that are independent and living on their own. As long as you are living in your moms home she has some say on what you do and don’t do in exchange for the privilege of living in her home. My recommendation is to show your mom that you are an adult by finding an apartment and moving out and begin taking care of yourself. She may not like this but it will show her that you can take care of yourself. I don’t know if you have watched any of my other videos but I would encourage you to do so. You may find some information there that you will find helpful! I wish you the very best!

"Loving you" and "winning" are two different things though.

My parents control me by not going on vacation with my friend and family that I know from the bronx. I need a break from my parents sometimes. I don't control my father for the personal things he don't do.

Im having my parents still controlling me at age 32! Even if i want to leave the house things can get extremely nasty ill even have threats of violence. Ok m trying everything to move back out. Any advice for dealing with it?