This is EXCELLENT. I am not a self-confident person, and I often rely on affirming statements of others to validate my sense of reality. I've been lately talking with my therapist on how I have developed arguing skills as a coping mechanism to get the other person (who is denying my reality) to accept me and my story. But since, as you said, argument is war with winners and losers, an argument is possibly the worst thing I could do to get the other person to validate me when the intention of the other person is to not accept my reality.

“Argument is dance” is a fascinating analogy. A good argument, between two people who understand each other, and LISTEN to each other, often does feel kind of like a dance. It’s a really elegant act.

@orangewarm1

3 жыл бұрын

Not always.

@bobbluered8984

3 жыл бұрын

@@orangewarm1 Well, a bad argument is just destructive and clumsy. But a GOOD argument does have a grace to it.

This is a much needed video! I agree with the sentiments of this video so much. I feel like that there is too much dehumanization of both sides of most arguments today. Also, the way arguments/debate is portrayed today is such empty one-upmanship that just serves to further polarize both sides. OODA loops :D

@ThoughtWord

3 жыл бұрын

I've tried as much as possible to put the mindset I advocate for in this video into practice in my day to day life. I can't say honestly that I've always been successful, but it has nevertheless been transformative in how I think about and relate to people that I disagree with. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

Damn, props for mentioning Lakoff. I covered him in my masters in linguistics.

Thanks for the consistently thought provoking and approachable videos!

Super video. Yup, I am the winner. Thanks for making me think about it.

Great vid for real gave me something to think about

Yeah, my ex was amazing at arguing but extremely petty.

Na, an argument isnt constructive. A discussion is constructive.

@ThoughtWord

3 жыл бұрын

"Discussion" is definitely a term that has a tamer and more peaceful connotation, though I think it's safe to say that most discussions contain arguments within them. So, it's still important that we reflect on how we are arguing and what argument should be.

@seopark7467

3 жыл бұрын

I think the term “argument” still allows individuals to take a stance, and argue it out, rather than the more wish washy terms of discussion

@kristianrasenberg3561

3 жыл бұрын

I agree Lee Loenz, but I think the argument he makes is that it’s only our cultural perspective -by way of the war metaphor- that has made us see arguments as something non-constructive. I never learned as much as I did in ethics 101, always arguing one side or another. It was a building process of understanding what I actually believed, because I didn’t even know at the time. Which is something that wasn’t mentioned but I think is important. Average people don’t know anything about the world and what’s going on around them. Why do we think we know everything or we possess the entire and only truthful perspective. With the Arguments are war metaphor you necessarily have to hate the enemy and therefore love and think your own cause is just.