"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

@austinjay9486

3 жыл бұрын

beautiful words.... bless you

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

That’s exactly right - no one can take our memories, Keran.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Austin Jay thank you.

Im grateful of everyone that knew my little one because we can talk about him…ill never get tired of hearing his name and when people praise him it makes me so proud.

Logan. Love you always. My forever 21 year old son. ❤ 1 year next month. Still can’t believe this is my life. 😢

My daughter has been gone for over 4 years and this still happens. Plus she took her life and she was my only child. Worse pain a human can endure.

@karishmasinha4686

Жыл бұрын

So sorry for your loss, my best friends 15 year old also passed the same way..there are no words to console in this grief

This is so powerful!! As a Vyloma myself, I completely agree.. I want to talk about my 4 yr old son and he will forever be my son.. Thank you for speaking for us!!!

Finally, there is a word to describe them. What a painful word! 💔Nobody wished to be called a "Vilomah," but I wanted to hug all the VILOMAH'S, from a widow here.❤

my son died 1 month ago.. 16 years old..and conversations about him can make me in tears.. so i dont know if i like to talk about him or not..every things, places, and thought about him make me feel like there's a huge thing on my chest.. but i have to looks fine..i hate when people said "you can make another babies".. OMG

@norre_

Жыл бұрын

I wish you strength on your journey to deal with the loss, I'm 17 and I cannot imagine the pain my mom would feel to lose me, I truly do not wish this pain to anyone. Please be strong, your son is in a better place.

@ayudarma1204

Жыл бұрын

@@norre_ thank you Nate…may you libe long and healthy😇

I love when people call me Sandra's mom hence recognising my late daughter's name. We had a block of apartments our family owns named after her.

My best friend lost her son last year and I found it so so difficult to bring him up, but I always tried to do it subtle ways. This has given me a lot, I know she still hurts and I feel like some things in this clip will help me communicate with her better. Thank you .

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Lana. I'm so glad this has given you some ways to help your friend heal.

@lanazaja

3 жыл бұрын

@@SharonDelaneyMcCloud thank you Sharon, and God Bless you, and I want to say, I am sure your child is now an Angel to us all...

@jeanetteward

3 жыл бұрын

Oh Lana, we all have a hard time knowing what to say

Within like 3 mins of your video I was in tears. A deep deep thank you from us the Compassionate Friends South Africa for this video and for mentioning Compassionate Friends. Thank you for giving us a voice and continuing to spread awareness about the bereaved parents. Much love and light to all those who have lost a child, sibling, and grandchild xxx

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

4 жыл бұрын

Tarryn, thank you so much. Your words mean the world to me. Together, we must break the silence and offer healing and comfort to those who are suffering in silence.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Tarryn. I hope you are well.

@tarrynoakes3518

3 жыл бұрын

@@SharonDelaneyMcCloud ABSOLUTELY! Victorious Vilomahs we have become!

Thank you so much for this. I’ve lost two boys. 24 weeks and 16 weeks and had 7 5 week miscarriages. With my boys I’ve lost many relationships because they can’t do what your talking about. It’s really tough. I’m glad I’ve stumbled upon this now so I can share it. X Alyssa x

Beautifully said Sharon, thank you for the wisdom that only a mother of personal child loss could bring to our world. We need more Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. -You are loved🌷

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much. No matter what age we lose our children, in utero or after, the loss is still profound. I believe talking about it can help us heal.

My friend lost her boy with Down Syndrome, aged 10 yesterday. I am devastated and came trying to find a way to help her. Reading though the messages is also a great help. Thank you all

@fowlkeskm

9 ай бұрын

My wife and I lost our 23 year old daughter with DS on July 21, 2023. Our hearts are ripped out and we are devastated. Our prayers go out to you and your friend.

This is an amazingly powerful and transparent speech. Thank you, Sharon, for taking a topic that many people don't know how to respond to and giving it a voice. Macy is smiling on that butterfly tree right outside your window :)

@tarrynoakes3518

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this comment Kevin. In total agreement that the topic: bereaved parents/losing children is a quiet and silent topic.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Kevin. As a new father, I know you approach this with fresh eyes. I appreciate the positive feedback.

@jycintabrown

3 жыл бұрын

I needed this so much. So so grateful to have come across her story.

My friend just lost her dearest son a while ago through a very aggressive form of Leukemia. He was only 11. We did nothing over the phone but to wail together. When I became a widow, the pain was so unbearable, but when my friend became a Vilomah, I know her pain is unimagineable, something you wouldn't wish even to your worst enemy. I cried with her without saying anything and as a fellow mourner, we know that most of the time, as the song goes, "You say it best, when you say nothing at all." A tight hug, a shed tear is more than enough.

Beautiful talk about this heartbreaking subject and hearing about your sweet Maisie❤️🦋

this talk makes a bunch of really good points. i don't think any one ever really knows how to talk to a person who has lost a child, just seems so unnatural. but this really helps.

@tonyatjoseph5801

2 жыл бұрын

yes. I've noticed in the past months- that people have distance themselves.. and they act very strange now

I read the comments as I watched, we are not alone are, I lost my baby nephew last year, and in that have lost part of my sister. I have not raised it with her much at all, perhaps it is time to start a discussion!

@gabor-kantor

3 жыл бұрын

how right, hard to do but needs to start soon

@jenniferbaxterhoward5898

2 жыл бұрын

I know I’m late to reply, but as a mother who lost her child, I often wonder how my 4 sisters feel about me? I hope you reached out to yours!

@shesageorgiapeach

7 ай бұрын

I truly hope you did not ❤

Thank you for this, sometimes I feel so alone my little guy also passed just 12 weeks ago (Oct 13th) from the same thing as little Macy AML he was just 14 months old ...

@tarrynoakes3518

4 жыл бұрын

Sending much love and strength to you Shauna. Please seek a Compassionate Friends support group in your area.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness, Shauna. I'm so sorry to hear this. What is your son's name?

@deborahfinnigan

2 жыл бұрын

Sending you my love

@love2save4us

2 жыл бұрын

@@deborahfinnigan thank you. It's been a very ruff struggle but I'm learning to live with the hurt and pain day by day now instead of looking at it like an impossible task to wake up each morning. I wake up for his baby sister my rainbow adoption .

Thank you so very much for your words, Sharon! God bless you! ❤

Thank you so much Sharon❤❤

My baby girl passed away literally 08.26.2021 Three weeks old, I feel everyones pain and know we shall get through, Just prayed wit my mom a couple min ago and I am feeling a little more healed,

I lost all 4 of my children during pregnancy. I lost Micah at 24weeks in February 2014. Alison was lost at 6weeks in May 2014 and twins Heidi and Noah at 8weeks in August 2015. Before my in-laws had my wife and her 4 younger siblings, they had over 18 miscarriages (they stopped counting at 18) and 1 stillborn daughter. My sister-in-law (my wife's sister) lost 5 babies during miscarriage. I have so many other family and friends who have lost children.

Thank you for your TED talk a methodology for transforming loss into empowerment for those experiencing grief. I use to be a bereavement mother and now I'm helping bereaved parents on dealing with loss ❤, helping them to integrate grief into their own lives after experiencing the inevitable traumas, tragedies, and transitions in life. Would love to connect. Hugs, Magdalena Tecles

Thank you for teaching me something worth sharing

Amazing talk. It is so hard to keep that line of conversation open sometimes, when as family or friends we try or best to just distract or something of the sort. This talk is full of really helpful pointers.

Wrong. Not every bereaved parent wants to talk about the child they lost with strangers. But what they do a want is respect for surviving the worst thing that can happen to snyone. That they are forever changed.

@SushiCannon

Ай бұрын

I beg people to just understand that I am not okay. I'm never okay. I'm alive but not living. That in moments I want to talk about my son, in the next it will shatter my broken heart again and again.

oh thank you sharon!! this is going to help so many people!

My sister lost her little boy, it was so hard to talk about. Maybe thats the point, listen don't talk.

@tarrynoakes3518

3 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry to hear about you and your sister's loss. Listening and acknowledging your sister and also, listening and acknowledging your feelings will help tremendously and it will bring you both closer.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Bridgette, I'm so sorry to hear of your sister's loss and your loss of your nephew. Take it slowly but don't give up asking your sister if she wants to talk about it.

@bridgettemsanders

3 жыл бұрын

@@SharonDelaneyMcCloud Thank you Sharon, I really appreciate you reaching out.

@jackstanger

3 жыл бұрын

as did mine..

Thank you for that x it's beautiful x

Such a wonderful and insightful Ted talk, it’s important to know that this word Vilomah is derived from the indian language Sanskrit. Giving this word life in other cultures and regions allows for support to parents who have lost a child. Wonderful Ted Talk!

I used to try to make the world understand. Then I came to my senses and realized that there are billions of people in the world and I was wasting my breath anyway.

I wasn't going to watch this, but friends said I should. I am glad they did. My best friend growing up lost his son 2 years ago and we have barely spoken since then, I haven't known what to say. What a dummy I am, just listen man listen, Thank you Sharon.

@datz2105

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah.. I hope you did talk to him. Or just let him know your there.

Thank you

Thank you Sharon, I shall learn to listen.

@johnbradey

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same, I could have listened a lot more to my when she had a miscarriage. it's hard to know what to feel though.

@SharonDelaneyMcCloud

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being open to supporting vilomahs. It's hard but I think you'll find how much your emotional intelligence and empathy grow.

@johnbradey

3 жыл бұрын

@@SharonDelaneyMcCloud thank you back for doing this

Everybody has different personality, some people like to talk the one they lost, after talking about their stories, they feel much better. But some intervertebral personality people normally don’t like to talk about that.

If and when I get the question, "How many children do you have?", I pull out my favorite photo and say, "These are my youngest three children." Very few, if any, have asked, "Were there others?"... in fact, none --- yet. Anyway, when I ask the question of others, I word it this way, "You have children?" In this way, I don't ask for it to be quantified with a number. Mostly, I let the other person "take the lead" by my letting them tell me what they want to tell me, while having the implied freedom to not inform me of what they do not wish to convey... at least at that moment. The whole idea is to make folks "conversationally comfortable": interested... but not nosy. Cool, eh?

One day before this talk, a student of mine died, I still can't talk to his parents, they said no, I said what she has suggested, and I feel my strength is going away. I´m a father of two and I can´t feel safe....

How about when you no longer have any remaining children? What do you say to them? What would you say to us?

I had no problem talking to my Mum about my brother, who passed away from cancer. However, my Dad, who grew up post-WW2, grew up in the era of "men don't cry" and he wouldn't ever talk about it, or seek grief counselling. Dad went back to his small business and just hid behind work, working harder and harder, until a year and a half later, he had a massive heart attack, and died eight days later in hospital. I know that part of it was "broken heart syndrome" as he was never the same after my brother's (his son's) death, and keeping his feelings hidden inside.

Hi there...unfortunately when you keep her room or sleep in it or the wrecked car on the lawn for a car accident....that is NOT healthy........you have have to open up the wounds and move on.....

Why is the subject about talking to your bereaved parents when this is about losing a child?

No I don't like talking about it coz it leads to naive hurting questions without a speck of understanding

N

This literally just happened to me. Thank God im finally learning to mourn and move. @foreversweet16