Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/pna

@direstraights

26 күн бұрын

Can we look into them not caring ever to ask a question to involve the other - don't think they EVEr do 🎥

Drinking, slandering, gambling, gaslighting, watching tv, gossiping, repeat

@TheTeaLeavesKnow

26 күн бұрын

@dakoderii4221: oh I see you heard of my landlady-housemate. 😅

@JustMe-uu3bh

26 күн бұрын

wait, you for lying excessively and cheating and stealing. sorry, those are biggies lest you forget!

@ActiveSneakers

26 күн бұрын

One more.... Change the lingo of the rules to work just for them.

@gingerlemon865

25 күн бұрын

Don't forget sexual immortality

@JustMe-uu3bh

25 күн бұрын

@@gingerlemon865 immortality? I think you mean, "immorality"? immoral is like what is so widespread today and on tv and everywhere - like not being married before sex and know that God created it for marriage and that sex is sacred? people should remember who David Wilkerson was - we need that again, helps children learn and parents to start to set a good example instead of "twerking" and taking selfies........but they won't. these are the times.....

It’s funny cuz I played a trick on a narcissist, i knew he was just using me for money so I pretended that I went broke to see what his reaction would be , he started avoiding me like a plague after that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I was thinking to myself oh yes this is the reaction I expected , they all show there true colors .

@valeanualecsandra6233

26 күн бұрын

Wow

@abbz23

26 күн бұрын

I told mine I was broke its great little does he know I have savings u don't tell them the truth so they can use it against you nah you lie to save yourself the torture ❤

@Stardustpal25

26 күн бұрын

Oh really great! Mine I said there was a bank error and I needed $3k. Then I said this has got me so worried I've got to be honest, Ive got surgery coming up and need your help for couple months. Gone. In. 60.Seconds.🤝😊💥

@elnazzzea

26 күн бұрын

Me too😂

@francesbernard2445

26 күн бұрын

What a good strategy to practise in life so we do not waste any of our time with someone who is not marriage material.

My ex-narc's hobby was other women. He collected them and kept them in rotation and could never understand why I left him.

@mic396

25 күн бұрын

wow this sooo classic !! But part that amazing is he never understands..why you left 😭

@truthseeker5941

25 күн бұрын

@@mic396 narcissists are delusional. They feel like if they love you that should be enough, and of course we know that they really can't love anybody because they're too sick. We also know that they feel like anything that they do to another person is perfectly acceptable so why should somebody want to leave them. Lol

@wendydaniel1110

25 күн бұрын

They don't understand because they take no accountability for their behavior

@truthseeker5941

25 күн бұрын

@@wendydaniel1110 EXACTLY! However, if you do to them what they do to you there will be an explosion and a biiiiiigggg problem. They understand that.

For years i thought his hobbies were selfish and abusive... Thousands upon thousands he spent on his hobbies, from bowling, building radio controlled airplanes, storage facililities to build and store the planes, beer and alcohol, family vacations always going to places involving bowling or airplane flying... But car payments and mortgages went unpaid and repoed or foreclosures status !!! Danish, Thanks for identifying this as narcissistic abuse !!!! Makes total sense to me now

@collet214

26 күн бұрын

very immature irresponsible and careless not care. priorities.

@heathermixson1265

26 күн бұрын

I can relate to this.....married 30 years to one who only pays the bills that have been turned over to a lawsuit through the court system and only oay hiuse bills when a final notice comes. He is also the first to the mailbox...lol He used a church sermon to gain control of the finances 24ish years ago. I can't WAIT to gain my freedom from this hell ish person. They should have a renewal system for marriage as they do for driver's licenses.

@hasansabahgaminganimemovie7679

25 күн бұрын

Narcissists want a parent not a spouse.

@user-nt6ow2wj2u

24 күн бұрын

They live like spoiled kids

It's the exact opposite for the family members and their hobbies...if we have hobbies, they're not important and we're selfish.

Bang on right! He spent thousands on his fish and fish tank but complained i was nagging when i said our kids needed new clothes

@UrsulaZA

24 күн бұрын

Know someone who would complain when their partner would drink during a music show - they themselves would spent 1000s on plastic surgery, but he couldn’t have a drink once in a while

My ex had a "hobbie " playing darts.. He would put up dart boards all over the house throwing dangerous darts whenever he wanted to " practise" . He got put out because I insisted he remove the boards from the house for the garage. He didn't understand the rationale behind my decision and said I was controlling him.. Thank God I finally walked away from that moron . Gained my freedom and sanity. ❤

Discarding their partner and telling their friends... life is too short, this person never wants to do anything....while that person is taking care of everything.

@annjohnson8437

26 күн бұрын

That's my life. My narcissistic spouse spends sooo much money on his hobbies, and then I have to figure out where I can cut in our budget to make ends meet. I'm done.

I can relate about being around someone who wants you in their "circus". She is the ring-master and wants people to jump hoops. I let her know that I am my own person and have my own interests, and I will not be pulled by the nose. Standing your ground is so...nice!

100% right on the money. I was put down for not having the right kind of hobbies. You see, I read, and he watches, continuously, TV.

@karlabritfeld7104

25 күн бұрын

Oooh what a horror

@amorl4520

25 күн бұрын

Same here! They don't like you at peace or reading a book. That means your not paying attention to them

@pinkopallinu9084

14 күн бұрын

Mine's also is a TV. ALL THE TIME IN FRONT OF TV. No matter what. We had to sell a house and move - he watched 7 seasons of Dr House and didn't lift a finger to help me until finished all the seasons. Alcoholics at least take breaks!

Their hobby is games with other lifes and how to make others to be their forever survent

@karlabritfeld7104

25 күн бұрын

Survent, huh?

This blew me away. It was as if Danish sat quietly in a cupboard, in my house watching everything. My former abuser, kept myself and four children in poverty because of his hobbies. At the time the income was $900 a month. His hobbies were boating, building computers, building RC airplanes, each little engine for these airplanes was up to almost $300. He also had many snowmobiles and cars. The children and I were so poor, that in order to save money for school supplies, I would use worn out old face washes, stitched together to make reusable sanitary pads. 😩

He Spends His Best Energy On His Buddies or Random People Whoever as long As it Isn't Me. Then He Comes Home Saying "He's Too Tired, After We"ve Planned To Do Something and He Goes into His Room snd Sleep's . While i'm Standing There all Dreesed Up and Confused. Got the Kids Ready too, No Easy Feat. He Even Called me To Make Sure l Wouldn't Make Other Plan's That Day. He Loves To know There's People Waiting For Him. We"re Just Furniture To Him.

1. Bowling. Purchased Three, custom made bowling balls, gear etc. One summer then quit. 2. Mountain biking. I purchased HIM a $1,700 bike. He rode it ONCE. Sitting in garage collecting dust. 3. Compound archery. Fixed his bow. Purchased his son a bow. Used it twice. Now collecting dust. 4. Downhill skiing. Purchased Skis, Boots, poles etc. (on sale, thank fully.) I paid for lodging and lift tickets. Went ONE TIME. Shall I go on?

@stephfindlay

26 күн бұрын

No, just go!

@maryjouller1198

21 күн бұрын

Run fast as you can away.

Its so funny this came just at the right time!!! My husband has developed a hobby of "travelling alone" while his gf/mistress always ends up being there with him.... and if I make an issue of it, I can't stand him "enjoying his hobby/see him happy by himself"

@truthseeker5941

26 күн бұрын

@ayeshanasir he needs to continue "traveling alone" and with his GF after he is divorced.

@ayeshanasir9916

26 күн бұрын

​@truthseeker5941 unfortunately can't, 2 small kids, not financially independent atm. . I tried leaving but my kids were absolutely and completely ignored... I just came back from them... but ofcourse he isn't going to stop his useless spending and travelling... cz he doesn't even care abt saving for his own kids

@truthseeker5941

26 күн бұрын

@@ayeshanasir9916 I am so sorry, Sweetie. I had 3 children with 2 no good men. I know the struggle. Try to go to school online and get grant money to help you, buy used textbooks. Focus on becoming financially independent. Check out from him emotionally so you don't get sick, like I did. Also, make him use a condom and let him know as long as he is "traveling alone" you will protect yourself. That will protect you from diseases and also make sure you don't have any more kids by him. I wish you the best...I been there and made it, mine are grown now. THANK GOD!

@truthseeker5941

26 күн бұрын

@@ayeshanasir9916 Try to go back to school online and get grant money. God bless you. My other comment got deleted.

@deannamartinez7233

26 күн бұрын

@@ayeshanasir9916 Remember Our Heavenly Father, is Greater and if you ask and want out-- HE Will make a Way… He did that for me and others, in this kind of situation. John 3:16 KJV Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV 🙌❤️✝️ I wish that I would have left sooner when our Children were younger- I say that because the longer you stay- the more you and your Children have to Heal…..Please, remember to protect yourself if he wants sex with you- because they will sleep with anyone.. Hugging you, tight right now🤗 Praying GOD Hands are upon you and your Children.❤❤❤

This video was 100% accurate for me and my experience with my narcissistic husband.

Thank you so very much for your insights and teaching.

the hobby of 'playing games' is real, and not only one where they play the games and make you take care of them. my abuser made me play the games with him. hours and hours every day, 'why won't you spend more time with me doing this, this is how we spend time together', until our entire apartment was flooded with hundreds of board games and there was no room for me. on top of doing all the other things for him, laundry cooking cleaning everything. 'what do you mean you can only give three evenings to this this week, don't you care? we have so many games to play!' WE?! I'm in graduate school! trying to get my PhD! it was hell and I still have trauma and cannot be around board gamers for long.

@karlabritfeld7104

25 күн бұрын

Hahaha

@amnasheraz2393

21 күн бұрын

yes it gets worse when they make you part of their hobbies

The problem is that they are very impulsive. So if they see something they like the have to get it (not thinking about if they are able to buy it). Also they are very self-centered - it is all about them. It is sad and bad!

My dad golfed on Wednesday and Saturday, bowled on Fridays, and could never be bothered to go to any school function of my brother and I. He wouldn't visit my mom or me in the hospital, when we needed him most. My mom took care of his mom when his mom became.ill. When he became elderly, he played with his trains all day in the garage and had my mom and I running circles to take care of the messes he made.

@karlabritfeld7104

25 күн бұрын

What saints you are.

@mic396

25 күн бұрын

Did he work outside the house

Drinking, turntables and records. He spent loads and loads on turntables and other audio equipment, and then cried that he cannot afford anything to his kids.

@karlabritfeld7104

25 күн бұрын

Turntables????

It's another example of everyone and everything else before you. People, pets, hobbies, inanimate objects... everything is a pawn for their supply. You see this before you even realize they are simultaneously manipulating the situation to make you feel terrible. They learn to master doing this, and by the time you break out of confusion, you don't know yourself or the world anymore. Your feelings are, and always have been, a game to them.

This hit so perfectly close to home. My bf and his CNC machine, OMG

They just Buy things without asking or take responsibility, or they put only your money to a project, cause they don’t “have any “???? Ohhhhh really,… so we’re supposed to think of them as children or a not committed person at all That’s poison to the relationship and a lonely process,Niobe dangerous as well

Wow spot on. First boat 13k, second 60k and maybe 15k modifications, third 150k and maybe 30k modifications, left and hid last yacht 450k , then evicted me, took the car even though he had a Mercedes, left me with zero. Sailed off with one after another. Need I say more. I like your videos Danish, you have a gentle voice and a brilliant way of describing the behaviour patterns that hits the nail on the head. Thank you. Wish I'd seen them ten years ago.

@Krlowanigu-mg6eg

25 күн бұрын

Wow, a mega leech.

@marykeenan4985

25 күн бұрын

My ex narc collected boats too. He stole money out of our savings account for boat repairs. His father was also a narcissist, he bought an $18,000 boat without even telling his wife. He disclosed it on his deathbed and his wife had to learn about it from someone else.

Thanks Danish. This is so on point. Hobbies comes first before marriage or engaging with kids. It doesnt help that his own father has numerous hobbies. Mother is a "supportive" enabler. They justify it as a way of stress relief. Stress relief that is spent in front of a screen 6 to 8 hrs at a time. When reminded or asked to spend some quality time together. U get breadcrumbs.

Described my narcissist to a T.

Oh God. My Ex-Narcopath spent THOUSANDS on aquariums / fish / birds / COMPUTERS / GAMES & other women. I would have to beg for the bare minimum for our kids. I ended up having to siphon money away in secret for the kids and myself. I swear to god I am glad that I do not know the true extent of his 'hidden life' ..... I AM GLAD TO BE FREE FROM HIS BS.

Wow he had every hobby he could get his hands on! You totally described my life for 25 years...

Also talks so much crap about you “needing to have a hobby” so you’re not “obsessed with mine” Ugh!!!!!!!!! A total mind game.

@SylisDaCheesCakeGoat

26 күн бұрын

Yep they think everyone is obsessed wit them , also when you and them aren’t friends anymore they start searching for a new victim to spew there gossip too .

@SUSIEQZ55

26 күн бұрын

I agree, mine is always out in his garage . Worked 5 years on a car. Before that a motor cycle from ground up. Constantly on the internet searching for parts ,..forever ! Gets it half built, sells it ! I can go on and on. But he tells me I need a hobby. Once I would start spending all my time in the computer like he did, I would hear about it. And I know he would mention the money spent. So I don’t bother. I have 3 pets and I bird watch and spend enough money just on that . I gave up 7 years ago . Then when I tell him we have grown apart he gets all flustered !!

Unfortunately I have to bear all these things before😢but after leaving him i got my life back again.

His hobbies were hunting and fishing. His biggest love was boating but before meeting me hed already racked up debt for speedboats. So from being with me, he finally listened to his parents lessons and became fiscally responsible. But since we both worked FT shifts, we had few days off together. When they occurred hed booked a hunting trip with his buddies or a fishing day. So nothing we could do together. I spent my days off maintaining the home, washing both of our uniforms, dog care, mowing the lawn, and since we lived in a tiny remote town, meal prep to freeze for daily meals while working. I saw him buy himself stuff at will without discussion, but as long as it wasnt outrageous i couldnt complain since he had a good paying job, as did i. I worried about how it would go with children.

Boy you hit the nail on the head. Lost my condo, almost pd. Rent to own. Did the many /change car thing , got evicted i paid for everything he was supposed ti be paying rent, not. Did it next place and next place. Played drum's,oh never gonna play again , sokd gave away. Then had to get new, most expensive cymbals....and it continues....pray for me, hoping he gets ssdi so is not homeless, cant handle much longer. Waiting, waiting.

Yep. I had a family member who controlled the money I had and when things got broken he said "I don't know" what to do about it. And he didn't care about fixing the things and left me to suffer. I was crying on the couch one time and he just was doing his own thing as though nothing was happening.

My Narc would spend hours in the garden and didn't help with inside the house. When I confronted him he blamed me for "non stop complaining"

love is to witness beauty hate is to witness ugly

You always do such a wonderful job of illustrating the narcissist's behavior in certain circumstances.

He had the mentality of a 16 yr old on his Best days. Yes, every weekend & holiday he would go out with his friends, get drunk, wreck cars, get thrown in jail & it was ALL my fault. While this was going on, He had already isolated me from all my family & friends. I wasn't allowed to go to the grocery store by myself. When I left, I never looked back. He lost his fuel supply & was furious because of it😂 & according to him, I divorced him for No reason.

...so True...

Oh yes my narc mother became extremely manipulative when I left her house at the age of 19. From that moment on, if I called her to ask how she was, the victim game was endless, and the demands for money and expensive items (jewellery, car, house) were ever-growing.. whatever I gave her, which was almost all my money, was never enough and even riduculed for being too little.. She threw comments like "Even prostitutes make more money than you!" .... unbelievable

I think narcissists are secretly gay😂

@anonymousreviewer5035

26 күн бұрын

Facts.

@mariapilarme

26 күн бұрын

Not doubt! Remember Mister Ripley movie?

@antoinettegorman8833

26 күн бұрын

I don’t think I know

I really like these videos. I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother, and it has been so confusing to navigate my life. These videos have been really helpful to me & I thank you for them. ❤

lol they often also STOP yours so you have nothing, discourage you in everything. most narcs with passionate hobbies are high top sporters look at mountain climbers, all the extreme sports, fitness whatever it is. its all extreme and you have to live around it all the time. in my case i had nothing left. good video

Wish I had known these facts a decade ago ...

@katherineraquelle1930

24 күн бұрын

Same lmao 😂

My ex used to make sure that I knew in no uncertain terms that he would never see me as family unless we were married and his stuff is his stuff, that he is only an *I* and we are not a *we* yet insisted that he was courting me for marriage

Every thing u mention so true. Wish i had more knowledge before. But now i am back on my feet.

They see the money we spent on hobbies and think that money should be going into their pockets instead of our happiness

My ex narc collected boats. Would steal money from our savings account for repairs and upgrades. I don’t like the water and get seasick easily. I’m sure he was very happy to take his boat out on the weekends without me. I am sure he used his boat for his affairs (his other hobby). He also bought a house without telling me. It was part of his exit plan.

My ex narc husband had wierd hobbies that he used to abuse me!! I'm so GRATEFUL Danish is spreading awareness!!❤

Spot on Danish. You have nailed it. Exactly the case!

Substances, hunting/fishing (ghosted for that constantly), and side chick.

All of this is so true.

Very spot on the particular hobby for gardening ❤he said that I am coming frm garden so you have to welcome me by making tea and cold drinks etc ,thank you for validating me Danish❤

Oh my God yess brother my parents were always taunting us by saying what other's children done for their parents ....but they starts shouting and getting jelous when ever it's comes to others parent's sacrifices for thr children

One interesting hobby was watching tv movies. He had to have Netflix, DIRECTV, and all the paid subscription tv services. I just had to correct my Freudian slip - instead of subscription I put down prescription! And that’s really what it was. It put him in a beautiful fantasy land. It meant that I could not talk to him from the time he came home from work until he went to bed after midnight. and it took up every bit of money I would have been able to use on things that I needed - food and clothing.

Spot on! My narc husband narc Co worker did not like his wife working. He spent over 6k on some exotic hunting trip. He spent over 10k on guns Sad part is his wife was meek and shy, she got caught stealing $ from the company she worked for. Think she spent 1 year in jail. I think she stole $ out of desperation. Clothes for their kids, food, car payments! I know for a fact he was bad with $ money b/c this guy got my husband to co-sign a car loan before we dated. My narc husband got angry at me b/c I said his friend should never have asked you to do that. I had him do it a credit report and payments were missed. I felt empathy for his wife. She had old clothes and looked so beaten down. This was the same friend who told 3k out of my husband's truck. His friend blamed my son at the time in HS! My son had no idea he had money in his truck and was very angry being accused before being asked first. My son was rarely even home. The co worker got fired to stealing down the road. Be careful if you're with a Narcissist many times they have buddies that are narcs on top of the family full of them. To many narcs !

You are so right that I became so afraid

All CORRECT

I was married 29 years to this. He, at the end was an IRONMAN TRIATHLETE. Ended in divorce...quite ugly. He had $87,000 in credit card debt plus had used my credit to purchase a motorcycle without my knowledge. I did everything during the marriage to try to salvage "us" to no avail. There's no appeasing these monsters. Believe me, because on the very last day, he chased me out of my home with a shotgun. That's how addicted he was to his "passion."

I have never seen such devils before marriage but after marriage I got this devil character person as husband what to do this narc are making there partners to live heal throughout their life.

He has made me totally depressed 😢

The real question to keep in front of them, or statement, rather, is this: you don't like it here? There's the door. You're excellent at going out of it. But obviously you're not good at making friends, otherwise, they'd take you in from such horrible conditions, as I'm sure you've spewed out of that lying mouth. Thanks Danish!!

on point 🔥

Yup, he put a motorcycle on the Joint credit card. Since his name came first (. actually I wouldn't recommend a joint credit card with anyone. I was too trusting) I couldn't stop the charge. Don't wanna talk about the medical bills with all of his injuries. I know I shouldn't say this, but I still feel felt sooo stupid. ,He totalled 2 cars too, So when he died, I'm now vehicle-less. I really don't know what to do now, even 2½yrs after his passing. I wish I could pay to get this beautiful mans therapy / help, but I'm struggling financially and kinda messed up in recovering from all of this abuse. I still hope I can find my way in life!

So i build my schedule around my wife. Because to me she's the bees knees and I only do that because she has a hard time making lots of friends. And taking time for herself and her own hobbies. Or make hobbies. I would be fine with just her. So I had Mondays as dedicated three hours of gaming with my out of country brother. and Fridays only if she and I had nothing planned. And Sunday mornings for my rec football team. Every other day after work I'm with her unless she's busy. In which case I can always figure out something to do and I'm always careful not to be too loud or anything because I want her to feel at peace and find herself. Now she's not working for three months on sabbatical but I'm starting two new roles simultaneously and learning them both and still finding time to do anything I can with her because to me she's my why. So no matter what on those other nights from 7 to 11 or midnight I'm hers. I stay up later to work after she goes to bed. I'm up by 5 am to gym and clean the house and make sure she would have coffee but I don't know when she's waking up so I just leave it there. And tell her it's all prepped and I want it to be hot for her so I stopped bringing it bed side while she's asleep. I honestly want to know am I a narcissist. Whether If I am or not isn't what I'm after here I love her and I just want to know what I was doing wrong. I was trying to make it work for her and though it was a strain on me. I'd do anything for her. We're a team and I tell her all the time I trust you I don't trust other random people so your safety is what matters and your thoughts are what matters. But I know myself after multiple concussions and overdoing it with not sleeping. It affects my mental performance so anytime up until 1030 at night I'll be fine. But anytime afterwards my energy level drops. But I'm still here for you. Building for us. You don't have to ask me for anything because I trust you always are doing what is best for us. You can explain it if you feel that you need to. Like if it was like you went and bought a 5k bag with no ROI okay then. But if you're running a business and working and you need funds and you have the ability to pay it back within the calendar year without it ruining US. You don't have to ask. Do what you got to. Am I wrong If I am please tell me I want to help me I want to be better I want to do what I can for both her and I.

I exercised! My Ex used my money to pay the bills then tried to say we and if I had to ask for what I wanted and they never did ask for my opinions on spending..

90s skateboards and stealing my hobbies and identity. He also pretended he was a dj but it was "too easy"

Empaths are honest and trustworthy, flip the script on the narc ! They are gullible and will BELIEVE YOU!! Tell them you need a root canal ! Thats like 1,500. Easy to say your dental does not cover it all, better yet you don't have dental insurance! Dont feel bad b/c they turn honest people into liars BECAUSE they can't handle the truth and to busy lying to you!!! They will pull the rug underneath your feet about money when you lose your job or get sick!

Awesome

What is a kitchen garden?

My ex never had a hobby but drinking beer and looking at social media was his hobby and also gossiping on the phone like a woman. He never sat down to watch TV but he will listen to music loud in my own house because the only person who's meant to be happy, should be him and no one else. They are selfish to the core. Empty vessels constantly needing a fill but forever Empty. Glad I walked away 😌. Good riddance to bad rubbish

My farther waited to the last min before he died to put together a family trust ....

Yup

I had a Ex girlfriend who always talked my hobbies down. saying things like. Oh artists are just soo weird. How could I even date a Artist, you just always soo sensitive blabla. Meanwhile I did everything in m power to encourage her, to do what she loves to do. She loved to write books, so i listened to her readings and poetry. While I made her feeling good about her hobbys and talents, she shamed me for mine.

Hi Danish Mine had a purchasing any and everything online he has 30 thousand dollars in credit card debt after being single few yrs He wanted to marry me and join our bank accounts I have no debt live modestly but responsible

With all due respect brother. I am not your guys tool.