Gary Thomas: Best-Selling Author, International Speaker, and Pastor
Setting Healthy Boundaries After Infidelity/ Betrayal:
1. Recognizing the Need for Repentance:
* Acknowledge personal betrayals and the need for genuine repentance.
* Understand that the first step after a fall is crucial, and repeated patterns need intervention.
2. Making Repeated Falls More Difficult:
* Emphasize the inevitability of repeated falls if triggers persist.
* Implement measures to make falling more difficult, such as accountability and ironclad boundaries.
3. Importance of Exclusivity in Sexual Intimacy:
* Highlight the sacredness of sexual intimacy based on exclusivity, security, and safety.
* Communicate that betraying this exclusivity jeopardizes the foundation of intimacy.
4. Transparency and Rebuilding Trust:
* Stress the necessity of complete transparency, including sharing passwords and access to digital activities.
* Reinforce the idea that secrecy erodes trust and that openness is a blessing in marriage.
Consequences and Forgiveness
1. Facing Consequences of Actions:
* Encourage spouses to let their partners face the consequences of their actions.
* Establish boundaries that may include limited access or temporary separation for self-protection.
2. Understanding Repentance in Repeated Offenses:
* Distinguish between genuine progress and continued destructive behaviors.
*Be discerning in forgiveness, considering the level of demonstrated repentance.
3. Applying Consequences to Promote Change:
* In situations of relapse, consider applying consequences to reinforce the seriousness of the issue.
* Communicate that forgiveness doesn't imply a lack of consequences for repeated offenses.
Power of Jesus in Healing
1. Recognizing the Limitations of Willpower:
* Acknowledge that willpower alone is insufficient in overcoming deeply ingrained behaviors.
* Emphasize the need for wisdom and self-awareness in the process of healing.
2. Embracing Wisdom in the Battle Against Sin:
* Utilize wisdom to identify patterns and triggers leading to sin.
* Engage in the renewal of the mind to counteract the deceitfulness of sin.
3. Self-Soothing and Pure Pleasure:
* Encourage the development of healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with shame, guilt, or loneliness.
* Introduce the concept of pure pleasure as a positive alternative to destructive behaviors.
15:14 Covenant Eyes:
www.covenanteyes.com
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Through powerful storytelling and inspiring real-life experiences, we uncover the essential tools and mindset required to navigate life's ups and downs in marriage boldly. Discover how embracing personal responsibility can lead to unlocking life's hidden blessings and finding true joy.
Travis + Adelle are certified professional coaches with years of experience in marriage and family coaching. Their personal journey from Brokenness to Restoration has uniquely equipped them to guide couples through challenges. They offer a heartfelt and authentic approach to help marriages thrive. If you're seeking guidance from professionals who understand the complexities of relationships, Travis + Adelle are here to support you.
Betrayal by the person you trust most feels like weathering an unrelenting storm in the dead of night-filled with secrets, worry, fear, and insecurity. The loneliness that follows can be overwhelming. We've been there ourselves, and we know it's a tough journey that can feel hopeless at times.
Their own story of Brokenness to Restoration is a powerful testament to God's work in restoring their marriage after addictions, secrets, and infidelity nearly destroyed it. Through God's leading, they discovered transformational tools that healed their hearts and marriage.
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