Being immature, they do not realize that there is such a thing as a win-win situation. Everything to them is a zero sum game.

Traits of emotionally immature people caused by some need not being met at the developmentally necessary time & shows up later in their intimídate relationships 1. Inability to self reflect (no self responsibility or ability for repentance ) 2. Poor empathy (Incapable to relate to the other/ defensiveness ) 3. Egocentrism (how does this relate to my experience) 4. Affective Realism (Reality is what they feel it to be) 5. Super sensitized to any kind of threat to their self esteem or sense of stability (defensiveness) 6. Trouble with emotional intimacy (distance themselves/starts fights ) causes loneliness inside the relationship . We can all regress when we are sick, tired or stressed but not the norm

@artandculture5262

4 ай бұрын

That sounds like the “woke” phenomenon too.

@JohnAlot

3 ай бұрын

OMG this is Donald Trump. Shocking how far our country has fallen.

Stating holding boundaries with emotionally immature spouse, sibling, parent coworker, adult child is so exhausting and for me I find it better to just avoid them in my personal space because they just dont get it.

@ruthieclarke9125

3 ай бұрын

Same here! Least contact possible works for me.

@robertafierro5592

Ай бұрын

It's not a failure to declare an estrangement. It's a collective agreement.

it's not upside down that the "aware" people come for help and those with the issues are in denial. It makes 100% sense! I know a woman married to someone stuck in his childhood trauma. He sooo refused to go for help for his serious childishness & irresponsibility that he would have preferred to be run over by a truck than to go to a counselor. They're still married, have beautiful children, but they sadly all live in an emotionally unhealthy atmosphere....and still in deep denial!

@polishqueen3671

5 ай бұрын

I was in that predicament. Then I left. It forces the other side to feel uncomfortable and start working on themselves( if that's healthy individual.. narcissist don't think is something wrong with them). If person stays - no one grows and you yourself taking a chance away to improve your quality of life and growing. If you can't grow as a couple - give yourself at least a chance for a fulfilling life. Is our duty to take responsibility for your own life. Not others..but lots of times out growth also improving everyhing around.🙂

I found it very validating that it is generally due to the non-self-reflective (I call them dysfunctional) people that cause the rest of us to seek therapy.

The tricky thing is that the emotionally immature person isn't going to behave that way in front of everyone. They can pass as normal as long as relationships are not deeply intimate with a lot of regular contact. My ex husband and parents were all emotionally immature but most people didn't see them under stress and they care very much about managing perceptions, so I'm not so sure about the last point about how to know what emotionally mature people are like. I doubt anyone else besides my sons and I felt unsafe around them.

@Juiceflight

3 ай бұрын

This is very true. Only my ex husband's own family knew how dysfunctional he is. All of our friends and acquaintances thought he was Mr. Laid Back. He became a hot, angry mess that blamed everyone else when he was under any stress. He was good at hiding it in public.

@terotivities6731

2 ай бұрын

I noticed that she said that it would become apparent the more you got to know the person...and it would be easier to spot if you knew what to look for. My guess it that most people never actually friends with your ex. More like aquitances. Also I don't think most people know what to look for, or even know that they should be looking for it in the first place.

@1948rambo

Ай бұрын

Especially covert narcissists!!!

I want to humbly point out that some people who *appear* to be calm, emotionally mature people can still be very abusive, if they still, albeit very calmly, continue violating your boundaries over and over and over again, no matter how nicely or forcefully you ask them to stop. And if they don't mind, then it doesn't matter -to them. They will use and abuse you and suck your soul dry all while remaining perfectly calm. Please don't mistake lack of emotional drama for emotional maturity/superiority at all times. I think some narcissists and psychopaths can be very very calm while they totally obliterate others. It's sick.

@harmonyvaneaton4101

5 ай бұрын

Yes, it's common, especially if they find positions of power over others. They become sadistic.

@lorirhodes870

5 ай бұрын

1000000% !!!

@carolinekamya2339

5 ай бұрын

YEP BEEN THERE WITH A SIBLING - head of a hospital - championing "compassionate care" the irony.

@allkindsamusicchick

4 ай бұрын

I had to deal with a co-worker who displayed on that level, day after day....year after year. I wondered how she managed to maintain her composure through thick and thin. She was not very nice to me, though....and said some careless things behind my back. A snitch turned me on to those careless things. When I decided to confront her very civilly...she just about fell off of her chair, admitted to saying those things....then wanted to hug me. I wondered where the knife was.....I believe that her unfriendliness was due to power struggles within the company. She wanted power over the organization, and my manager, but she saw how much my manager adored me, and it frightened her. She tried to smear my character, making it look like I was taking advantage of my manager's adoration....that I had somehow...lured him into my den. Far, far, far from the truth. She will never truly know that though...and at this point...water under the bridge, but noted. Taking advantage...is not my forte.

@polishqueen3671

4 ай бұрын

Psychopath..is come under pressure...even if they got body in a trunk... narcissist, sociopath is usually freaking out.. unless he's proving that something is wrong with you -and you are the one who's acting out...- then he's come.. smiling inside ..(they enjoy seeing you upset....they thrive on that..sadly.)..

What hurts me the most is that i loved her so very much and she left me blaming me for everything. Its that she will never know how she is and what she did to me. Thats the hardest thing to live with.

@robertaturk

2 ай бұрын

She has buried herself under so many masks - she is not there. You fell in love with the character she is playing- based on what you need in a partner - but not her authentic self. You are wasting yourself and your life running after a Mirage. Put a period down. Take responsibility for your life. Think through what kind of life you want to have now. Just a thought!

I left my husband of 10 years this morning. I absolutely cannot take another day of it. I am grieving what could have been. The first five years were the best. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world 😭😭😭 now I have no home to bring my grandkids to and they have no Papa 💔💔💔

@lisehrby2565

Ай бұрын

I hope you are doing well and still sure about your decision ❤ its normal to have ambiant feelings about a break up. You grieve what could have been and what was good. It doesnt mean it was wrong to walk away ❤

@tanyatalkstoomuch

Ай бұрын

@@lisehrby2565 thank you so much for your reply. Yes I'm still pretty confident in my decision thankfully. It doesn't hurt that he keeps being stupid LOL...

@lisehrby2565

Ай бұрын

@@tanyatalkstoomuch 😄😄 makes it easier

@ragepig1059

Ай бұрын

Happy for you women will be so happy when we're allowed to have fommunity again instead of the lie of monogamous het relationship

How to deal with an emotionally immature family? Don't go anywhere near them!

I really recommend persistent distancing, and ending these relationships, wherever possible, and setting the largest possible self-imposed boundaries you can, with those you can't get away from. I think emotional immaturity can co-occur with bipolar and persistent depressive disorders, but excusing the abuse because of these disorders, just doesn't make one's life more tolerable in their presence. Just get free, to the maximum extent that you can. You're life is worth it.

When Dr Gibson mentions that the behavior is rewarded, because people can be highly intelligent and have a successful career yet be very stunted, emotionally. Boy, that one HIT! My father could be very charming and even appear to be helpful, overly helpful to people outside the family unit, but at home, very different story.

My partner of 3 years is an asbergers high functioning autism. However this is the most intense emotional immaturity I have ever met. Hes always regressed unless he is totally satisfied with his needs met. However it’s the most challenging relationship style. Neurodiverse it’s too hard I’m emotionally mature and he’s not. It’s u possible and this pod cast has allowed me to see it without the label of asbergers. He can’t change but I can leave and seek peace and not have to face my past traumas through him. Thank you !!

@anonymousprivate6814

4 ай бұрын

I can relate to your comment. My Mum's partner is on the autistic spectrum and can be disrespectful to her at times. I am autistic myself with a trauma history and co occurring mental health issues but I would never use my disabilities as an excuse to treat someone else poorly, I know how bad that feels and I have had to set boundaries with some members of my family that are emotionally immature and happen to be autistic also.

@jp5419

4 ай бұрын

Leave or you will suffer and with enough years destroy your Health.

@Elliemae7of9

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for pointing out the parallel between ASD-1 (Asperger’s) and emotional immature people. I’d like to point out that ASD-1 is vastly undiagnosed in adults. IF you’re dealing w/an EI person, research whether or not they may actually be on the spectrum. The information discussed in this podcast is VERY helpful even in that instance.

@heidimartin5070

4 ай бұрын

You need to leave asap. This doesn’t get any better, in fact it only gets worse with the years. As time goes on and your partner gets older and more dependent you’ll be living in hell. I speak from painful experience. I’ve wasted my whole life tolerating this kind of conduct in hopes he would change one day. Never happened Please don’t let this happen to you! You aren’t responsible for his Asperger’s diagnosis and you can’t rescue him.

@gabrielleaumont3971

4 ай бұрын

WHY are you still with him? Will he change?

Sorry, but...some of them KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING...😡

@LarryMWeeks

5 ай бұрын

You're probably right unfortunately.

@lorirhodes870

4 ай бұрын

​@@LarryMWeeksI sure do hate to be "right" about this, but I really have seen evidence from these people whom I know so well 😢

@robertaturk

2 ай бұрын

Then, did they make a pack with the devil to purposely destroy your soul? See nefarious movie! Wow!!! That’s my husband. Felt very badly for little Benji when he lost his soul. Exorcists say - don’t talk to evil - just think about what happened to Eve?

@rebeccacharles5758

22 күн бұрын

I believe and agree with you, I would say 99% do KNOW EACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING age is irrelevant. The other 1% unless they have a severe intellectual disability.

I've been trying to understand my older brother, who was a physical and emotional bully from my earliest memories, and to this day (well into his 60s) continues to seek out verbal conflict, chafes at any kind of authority (except his perceived authority) and addresses everyone, including experts, from an unrealistically condescending, superior attitude. Many times, he's so rude and arrogant that one feels humiated and embarrassed for him, but he's oblivious. I've come to point that I no longer want to be around him at all. I'm certain of that, but find myself still trying to understand how he can be so abrasive and abusive, but seem completely unaffected by it.

@LarryMWeeks

6 ай бұрын

I would try to move from trying to figure him out to managing your reactions. The only thing you control is yourself.

@lorrainelapointe7026

5 ай бұрын

The time spent focused outward trying to figure him out, steals time from exploring your projections to find peace of mind (yours).

@lorirhodes870

4 ай бұрын

​@@lorrainelapointe7026 People need to handle it in their own ways. No one can tell them how, as it is personal. One can do both, not just one or the other. It is a personal journey 😉

@user-fl3rc6nv4x

4 ай бұрын

My brother was and is the same. He was an only child for two years with grandma teenage cousins and spoilt untill my grandmother and mother had a baby girl each and he got his nose pushed out hence pathological jealousy. It didn’t help when father came home from RAF and treat him abusively we can’t relate or sustain a relationship.. feel for you you could understand his circumstances but it’s up to you how you progress. Carol .

@Juiceflight

3 ай бұрын

I could have written that myself. Now a have a label for my brother.

I couldn't decide if my mother was a narcissist, but now I see that she was probably just emotionally immature.

My mom mocks me when I set boundaries, I’ve gone no contact 38 yrs I’m done

My own family has accomplished kids but 99% are totally emotionally immature -

They think you’re being “mean”

My mom has a very ugly mouth, and unfortunately has spread it through my aunts and uncles… what am I to do now? I’m a single mom with a teenage boy, I feel alone it’s been years… I’m 38 and finally reaching out to my community… my son deserves to know that people love me that I am loved just bcuz and most importantly that he is too!

@tanyacarlyle1422

16 күн бұрын

I have had to create a life with friends who are like sisters and women who are like mothers to me. It’s been very healing. Sending you love and strength 🙏

I would like to add that not all immature people act out on fear or defensiveness. A quite fight aggressively and covertly for an advantageous position within the relationship; a top-down position. They just want to win, and use all the manipulative tactics because it works to get them what they want. My question is now, how does emotional immaturity like a 4 year old differ from psychopathy or narcistic personality disorder. What exactly makes it different?

@LarryMWeeks

7 ай бұрын

I’m guessing knowledge and intent. All 4 yr olds will be emotionally immature by proxy of age. They don’t know better and lack malicious intent.

@hichemtouati9852

7 ай бұрын

@@LarryMWeeks sounds fair

@annchurchill2638

6 ай бұрын

Emotional management

@Alphacentauri819

5 күн бұрын

Anyone fighting for an advantageous position is doing it out of some form of fear…whether it is anxiety reduction , fear of loss of power/autonomy, and more…it is often very subconsciously driven, fueled by cognitive distortions of win/lose, zero sum type thinking. This dualistic mindset is the opposite of mindfulness. It is totally activated and wholly unhealthy.

Emotionall immature people are draining and generally not worth our time.

It sounds that emotional immaturity and NPD are quite similar.

I have become aware now of some difficulties I have with certain people - and I struggle with my own emotional maturity at times. I have one friend left who requires a lot of emotional management when in her presence. She notes the slightest facial expressions (which I didn’t even register making!) demanding to know why I made that face and so on. Every inflection of my voice is questioned if she she doesn’t like the tone. She is highly observant and intelligent. She also has been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer - however her condition has been stable for going on 7 years. She uses this as a cudgel - I need to be treated just so as I have cancer. Everyone around her is a narcissist (and yes - she had a highly narcissistic parent and I witnessed some things when we were teens) My last visit - which was pre covid - I spent much time justifying my actions and words, facial expressions and even body movements (that was an aggressive hand gesture! Don’t bump into me, the table I’ve got my leg propped on; or sit down too heavy on the couch’. And then the interrogation ‘why did you do this/say that? Are you trying to hurt me?’ Truthfully I feel terrible as I would have walked away years ago but for this cancer. We talk on the phone every 2 weeks or so and she really wants me to come stay at her home. I would go but I cannot stay with her. This relationship leaves me wrecked sometimes. I have a history too, and recognizing things in myself has helped me come to realize this stuff isn’t normal (I’ve been around a lot of EIPs, and I can be one myself although I see it changing in the last few years). I’m so glad I found all this info!

Oh, God, thankyou so much because You let me listen to this fantastic human being. Thanks always, Lindsay. My contact with my mother is near zero. I'm happy now, after 55 years. ❤❤

This was a very rich, helpful and inspiring interview. Thanks!!❤

@LarryMWeeks

6 ай бұрын

So glad! Thanks Amira.

This sounds like they dealt with lack of support in childhood like me, but people react to it differently….

She’s spot on! 🎯Well done!

Perfectly said Dr Lindsay. It’s my parents who needed the treatment. Many thanks Carol N.I.

Amazing podcast

@LarryMWeeks

7 ай бұрын

Hey. Thanks. Glad to hear that

“They are going to do what relieves the most tension in them” 🎯

...give them a slow computer..and tell them to do the task or game before you date them...😮😅to determine you want to invest in a relationship..

@LarryMWeeks

6 ай бұрын

Wow, that's actually a fantastic idea. Low frustration tolerance might be a valuable signal.

@Angie247Beers

5 ай бұрын

Emotional immaturity also is the main symptom of people who have Asbergers/autistic spectrum. The problem with the test of frustration over a game or task is that while that autistic person is highly interested in you/ dating you, they will do well in these honeymoon periods. It is after it gets mundane and only then that you see the true colors of people.

@polishqueen3671

5 ай бұрын

O..wow...nice to know...❤..thank you..❤tx for taking your time and responding..

@johedges5946

4 ай бұрын

They are good people, honest to a fault. Their behaviour can hurt badly, they can break you heart and soul but I don't believe it is done with an iota of malice.​@@Angie247Beers

I resigned from my previous job because there was a colleague who kept picking fights with me for reasons I didn't understand. She constantly thought I was out to get her. I was not. I am a quiet individual who keeps to myself. After three years, I had to physically remove myself from the environment. I was a nurse and this sort of toxicity is prevalent in the industry. I still have my licence but I don't know if I want to continue practising as a nurse. If I do, it's only because I need the money. I'm in limbo right now.

@LarryMWeeks

11 күн бұрын

It sounds like you were dealing with a high-conflict personality - but before you decide to leave your profession, do consider other alternatives. No matter what industry you work in there will always be toxic individuals with whom we will not get along with - or who are toxic. Its not just in the medical field. Don't expect a perfect non confrontational environment. That is not in your control. What is in your control is how you think about these situations - and manage them. Don't narrow your world, that wont make you happy either. Remember - you live in the feelings of your thinking. At the end of the day your thoughts about these situations are the lasting culprit. That said, here are some other tips from this podcast and some others that might help. Manage Expectations: When dealing with emotionally immature individuals, it's important to manage your expectations and prepare mentally and emotionally for interactions. This preparation can help you stay calm and maintain your boundaries [ listen 29:32] Taking Breaks: Sometimes, the best course of action is to take a break from the relationship if it becomes too toxic or emotionally draining. This can help you decide what's best for your psychological and physical health [listen 28:20] Here are some other relevant podcasts I have discussing toxic work environments and related issues EP. 17: SURVIVING ASSHOLES: ROBERT SUTTON ON OUTWITTING THE JERKS IN YOUR LIFE Ep. 73: A Post Career World: Bruce Feiler On The Reinvention of Work EP. 3: WHY THINGS BOUNCE BACK: ANDREW ZOLLI EP. 52: THE GREAT RESIGNATION: ASHLEY STAHL ON CAREER DESIGN AND HOW TO GET UNSTUCK These episodes discuss the impact of toxic work environments, and the importance of meaningful work and self-care.

Haven’t heard anything on dealing with an emotionally immature adult daughter who lives with you and is emotionally exhausting for everyone else in the household. But that person also has no respect for boundaries or concern for how there bad habits like smoking and drinking is affecting others.

@LarryMWeeks

5 ай бұрын

Tough situation. We address some of this at around the 32:55 time mark in this chat "trying to get along " is the focus. She differentiates a bond vs a relationship. Lindsay also has a follow up book that might help, I don't know. "Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships"

"Affective realism." Thank you. I learned a new word that helps me explain my mother's lack of object constancy..... :(

You need to speak about people.who overcome and heal their dependancy but had kids along the way. And they believe in family values and even if toxic, they see just themself with having to literally share a child as even more toxic .. gives them a huge sens of loss... and cause depression and etc. You get it. People who dont want to break the family Would b nice to hear your advices on the subject. Ty🙏🏽

@LarryMWeeks

7 ай бұрын

Yeah that is a tough one. Will think about that and maybe ask Lindsay on a follow-up as I plan to have her back on.

@tarshaparsha

6 ай бұрын

​@LarryMWeeks Hi Larry if you end up doing a follow up interview it would be great if you could ask about strategies to help the emotionally immature person change their behaviour. I have recognised these traits in myself for a while now and have found a lot of resources that address how to 'deal' with such people but don't address the situation where the consumer of the resource is the emotionally immature person. Thank you

@LarryMWeeks

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this @@tarshaparsha. If you can recognize and admit this you are well on your way to emotional maturity in my opinion. EIPs normally are too defensive to see or admit these traits. One big issue with EIP is they lack awareness or are not very reflective. Curious how did you come to the place where you recognize some of this in your own behavior.

@brendamckenzie8725

6 ай бұрын

@@tarshaparsha my thoughts exactly. I feel she almost attacks people who no doubt had childhood trauma and role models that were emotionally unavailable. Is this the role model's fault and conscious choice to hurt the ones they want the love from the most? Absolutely not. I believe she has missed the point. To heal yourself you have to heal the past. I sat with my mom who had a terrible childhood because i took the time to draw it out of her and then explained to her that i know she did the best she could as a parent with what she had been given. I told her what i needed to that hurt me, in a gentle loving way. It was beautiful because i did not attack her. I know she loved us the best she could with never experiencing any positive loving emotions from her parents. So sad. I'm so happy i never listened to this woman who would have me throw up walls without understanding and compassion. It was a traumatic childhood for us, but I am so truly blessed to understand my mom never wanted to hurt us, she had just been so badly treated herself. My mom became my best friend. Miss her everyday.

@Juiceflight

3 ай бұрын

@@brendamckenzie8725 That's a wonderful thing that you could reach out to your mother and she could accept or at least listen to your communication. I think the reason Dr. Gibson emphasizes boundaries with EIPs is that many of them will not even listen, let alone validate your feelings or emotions. If that's the case, it's difficult to improve the relationship and can often leave the ACofEIP feeling worse than before the attempted communication.

Thank you☺️

this is most people over 50 in Wisconsin...b/c it gets them so much material comfort and control. Also when you are an appendage completing a social role you offer your skills of intruding to opinion-ate on the new people at work.

24:36 "They are not being this way because they mean to hurt you, they are trying to soothe/heal themselves", was so healing for me. Thank you for this insight.

@lorirhodes870

3 ай бұрын

Some do

@Benjaminleo815

2 ай бұрын

Yes ​@@lorirhodes870

Excellent

@LarryMWeeks

Ай бұрын

Yeah, Dr. Lindsay was great.

@yumildarodriguez1175

Ай бұрын

What's her email address

@LarryMWeeks

Ай бұрын

@@yumildarodriguez1175 I would visit her website and contact her that way. I don’t have permission to share the email I have.

I can't see the difference between this and narcissism. Is there a difference, Dr Gibson?

@LarryMWeeks

3 ай бұрын

Dr. Gibson differentiates between emotionally immature individuals but they sometimes overlap. The traits can sometimes appear similar to narcissistic behaviors, such as the need for attention, manipulation, and lack of empathy, which can lead to confusion between the two. However, a distinguishing feature Dr. Gibson notes is that emotionally immature individuals often maintain a victim mentality, which is less common in narcissists​.

Awesome

@LarryMWeeks

7 ай бұрын

Thank you

What if it’s one of your children. Do you handle them the same way you would handle say a sibling. Also what if this adult children lives with you.

I feel I'm an infant in my process of learning to recover as a codependent. It's only been a couple of years since i figured out the narcissistic dynamic i grew up in. I was mature at a young age & took care of many parental roles, but i am also aware of my anger, reactive responses when feeling threatened, and shutting down when dealing with EIPs. I feel inclined to now compare the difference between EIP and "emotional dysregulation" from cptsd. Is there a difference?🤔

@LarryMWeeks

5 ай бұрын

It's a process for sure. Good for you. I'm not familiar with the differences between EIP and "emotional dysregulation" from cptsd however.

I leave and never go back

I appreciate this conversation and these tips, but unfortunately these tips are designed assuming that the person is autonomous and a mature adult. What about people that are under someone else’s power? I can’t put a boundary on someone who feeds me. They will take revenge, and I might die of hunger. I know many adults who are financially dependent upon their emotional abuser. Things are incredibly complicated.

Underrstand that a Mental.Health professional will never tell.you that you are fixed. Well, not fixed. I should say instead, theyll never say we are done now. I cant help you anymore. You must take your new discoveries and channel them onto a productive path. Your appointments will.go.on forever. Its a business.

It seems as though Dr Gibson is explaining some of what narcissistic people are like.

They really want love support from people that they arent capable to love or even know how to love them. With a very strong entitlement to force you back into a relationship with someone who doesn't love you and doesn't even understand how important love is. They feel attacked by you walking away from thier loveless cruel codependency to need what they aren't willing to give . It like I want your love me but I want you to understand I don't love you in fact I dont value the emotion of love at all. Ok and that's fine so let me love someone who does. That's when the unexpected happens they chase you and it's not only confusing its scary. Because you don't understand what is your problem? If you cone and give love and support your crazy , once you stop loving them and go choosing to give them no support they hoover your life to try to implement the same hateful actions. I'm so done I learned to simply ignore the look past them . I don't love you anymore and I don't care if you hate me for it. I'd rather you hate me for me not loving you then you hating me because I love you. I really I'm not obligated to have a relationship with you at any level at all. So we're estranged from your unwarranted drama I don't want your love nor do I want to know you , understand your hate .I don't want any of your toxcity stay away from me and this time I promise you if I find out your even remotely affiliated with someone else who support you. I will separate from them to I'm completely done with your negative exsistenxe in my life and don't want to hear how you feel anymore at all. I won't you to hate me with your inside voice since hate is all the emotion you know how to use. I don't want your hate

I find the terms /emotionally immature/ and /high conflict person/ both not very useful. A perpective that makes more sense to me is that we all bring varying amounts of developmental deficits, and the mixture of these individuals will yeild varying degrees of conflict. It takes TWO to have a conflict. If someone triggers me, then /I/ am the one with a need to build emotional capacity.

For years I attributed my former partner's histrionic, angry melt downs to her Latin culture. The reality was her emotional immaturity, borderline personality caused by severe childhood trauma.

You’re accurately describing the features of emotional immaturity but you’ve not yet defined what it is.

I think there is a little of EIP in all.of us.

@Alphacentauri819

5 күн бұрын

It is a vast spectrum. I’ve worked with thousands of people… Is there a reason you need to say there is a little in all, as if everyone is the same? It almost seems like a denial, a dismissal. The amount of emotional maturity varies greatly, from person to person. Our society as a whole, has more who suffer from emotional immaturity however.

How does a counselor know if a person is telling the truth, and not just portraying himself on a favorable light?

@larryweeks9389

14 күн бұрын

They, like everyone else, ultimately do not know

Most people are immature in one area or another, so don't think you're perfect, because I found out that I was not. Just saying, some are intellectually smart and some have common sense. Its just what you're willing to put up with, in a relationship.

How is EI different from narcissism

I liked this interview but I disagree with the part that says to keep the distance from people who don't want to change. In my opinion, we should be more mature than them and be severe just like a parent is, and teach them how to become a more responsible adult.

Is it possible to have meaningful and authentic relationships with EIP?

@Alphacentauri819

5 күн бұрын

No

Thank you for this deep complexed insight❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon

Doesn’t it occur to a therapist that the person who comes into their office is only telling one side of the story and may omit or edit the version they tell of their behavior? I have read her book and although it tries to be unbiased it really isn’t. She begins by saying that internalizers and externalizers have it equally bad then goes on to basically say the internalizer is the superior type. And as she dedicates an entire chapter to describing the internalizer (whom she clearly sympathizes with) it becomes clear that she is essentially describing female nature. That said, I do think that she nails a lot of the behavior of the immature parents. But again, she is basically describing any parent from the 20th century. The insights were great but a bit unrealistic for real humans. A bit made for people who already want to be a victim. Not totally but it means that way.

@artandculture5262

4 ай бұрын

Are you one of them?

Narcissist, they all act like 4 yr olds

Oh my. The dropped consonant epidemic!

I really think she attacks people that she labels emotionally immature. Shame on her. As a psychologist she should address why they are emotionally immature!! Lindsay doesn't. She generalizes, attacks and tells children, family, friends etc to solve it by distancing themselves from them. Seriously?! Do you truly think this is a choice for these people who have no doubt experienced childhood trauma and had emotionally "unavailable" role models. A choice to push away all the people they love the most by being emotionally immature? This is ridiculous! Understanding, compassion and awareness is what she should be advocating to these EIP's 🙄 as she labels them.

@LarryMWeeks

6 ай бұрын

I'm surprised by this. Lindsay by no means attacked anyone during our conversation. Behavioral "labels" are used extensively in psychology; consider "narcissist," or "borderline personality" (and I'm just using them as examples) are terms used in psychology to describe specific personality disorders. They are not attacks on a person, but rather clinical descriptors used by mental health professionals to diagnose certain patterns of behavior and thought processes. The purpose of these labels is to understand behaviors not to stigmatize or attack. They help in creating effective treatment plans and therapeutic approaches tailored to the individual's needs. In the case of "EIP" this is intended to help those who are in some relationship with individuals with the behaviors discussed.

@lisahinkofer2085

5 ай бұрын

Ok but how long do you remain compassionate and understanding towards that person when you’re so tired and your mental health is being affected by that person who is emotionally immature. Why would you put up with that

@russellheyns1846

4 ай бұрын

Amen. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Compassion. Understanding. Not running away.

@kathykonkle1097

4 ай бұрын

The issue is they totally lack self awareness and refuse to change. That can result in the need to go no contact if you can't deal with knowing they will always be like that. That's what TOXIC means.

@kathykonkle1097

4 ай бұрын

I ran and slammed the door on 4 toxic women friends I loved and cared about for 4 decades. I am going to save myself and I no longer care at all what happens to any of them@@russellheyns1846