If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again lol

@DeeTBee

Жыл бұрын

Lol!! Release them! 🤣🤣

@cyndigooch1162

Жыл бұрын

Sadia Ali I absolutely love this and it's better to be ghosted right away, than months or years later! 😊

@sadiaali9198

Жыл бұрын

@@DeeTBee 🤣🤣

@sadiaali9198

Жыл бұрын

@@cyndigooch1162 so true 😆

@lailas.3205

Жыл бұрын

Whoo!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾😂😂

The number 1 reason is: another woman in his life. Period. Let's be honest.

@misskarma7408

Жыл бұрын

Nope

@cv947

Жыл бұрын

Many people prefer a convenient lie than facing the ugly truth.

@ab-ie7uo

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@Antoinette617

Жыл бұрын

Of course this is how they have their cake and eat it too.

@sflo4538

Жыл бұрын

True!!!

If someone ghosts you, they didn't like you that much or they have someone else. I promise you, it is that simple.

@keeannathompson5007

10 ай бұрын

It’s just that simple

@FarewellAphrodite

9 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏🏼

@lanashowler5906

7 ай бұрын

Yep when you truely want someone you show it.... Dont just say bullshit..... But its okay.... Time heals....

@lanashowler5906

7 ай бұрын

When they pull shit like this twice hes just playing games...... Step away.... If they come back and dribble BS in youre ear.... Listen too that..... And watch them walk away..... They said all that truely matters too them.... Show their arse the back of that door.... Sae la vie.... Go find less with someone else... While someone else has the chance to step up and be just what you waited for.....

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

It’s just that everyone is like that to me. Getting over heartbreak is just followed by disappointment whether you try or not. Seriously, i’m unlikeable.

Ignoring or acting indifferent is the best thing you can do. Literally act like you didn’t notice his absence. If he asks you out again, simply say thanks for asking, but I’m really busy. Or don’t respond to his texts or calls at all. Men hate indifference, it makes them question themselves. Never respond with anger or genuine emotion. These men are immature and unworthy of honest conversation. Stop giving away your power. Don’t waste another minute of your valuable time, and don’t grant these guys access to your emotions. What these men need is a reminder that they’re not that special, not that great in bed, and not particularly rememberable. Move on. I don’t care if you’re 20 or 80, men are everywhere. Let those time wasters go.

@jackdeniston59

Жыл бұрын

Your indifference is why he left.

@goldenXmice

Жыл бұрын

This is so true - I remember men like this as the least interesting interactions since there was little depth to it. They really do depend on very superficial qualities and deprive themselves of amazing experiences in life.

@sceneyizzie

Жыл бұрын

Preach

@sanaafzal6150

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely right 👍

@tiamod

Жыл бұрын

Or… just have an adult conversation and communicate?

I understand “no one wants to look bad, or have difficult conversations” but it’s called being an adult. I’m shocked how many people feel like they can do anything they want and there is no consequences.

@lizxu322

Жыл бұрын

There are consequences...they have their own shame and also judgement from you

@priscila5612

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree. It's sad how normalized this behavior has become.

@alextesla1011

Жыл бұрын

EXACTLY

@caty2ful

Жыл бұрын

This kind of behaviour, specially from men, keeps happening because women allow it to happen. The truth is that most women will accept the man, after he ghosted, because they would rather have that than nothing.

@Ashadow700

Жыл бұрын

@Rabiya Helle I mean.... it's not very surprising at all, when you think about it. People feel like they can do stuff like this and that there will be no consequences... ...because there _are no_ consequences. Take the guy in this story as an example; what negative consequences is he going to suffer for this little episode? Realistically... pretty much none. He can just carry on with his life and none would be the wiser.

Why people ghost 1. Don't want to have the difficult conversations. 2. They don't want to look bad. 3. They want to keep the door open.

@ona8938

Жыл бұрын

Yes. A man offered me a meeting, than dissapeared.

@viktorijanovak336

Жыл бұрын

The only reasons - immaturity, no manners, very low values

@malinaschroder2000

Жыл бұрын

4. 3rd person

@lindalin5998

Жыл бұрын

Someone are deeply hurt and playing casanovas even in late 40 s, sad

@TestIng-iq1kq

Жыл бұрын

Number 3 is the number 1, just not necessarily for the correct reasons. Some people just enjoy you rise their self-esteem. Pure selfishness!!!

Bottom line, men: DO NOT PERSUE A WOMAN IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THEM OR WANT THEM. Stop wasting our time, stop wasting our energy and and stop wasting our emotions.

@georginafronda496

10 ай бұрын

Well said 👏👏👏 totally agree

@urmyfuture1945

9 ай бұрын

👍❤️

@Giga3D811

9 ай бұрын

oh noo. anyways.

@goodfortune5480

9 ай бұрын

He's not pursuing. He's taking advantage of what's convenient. If glitter flashes and you're a little dull He's going to chase after the glitter. Any guy that throws away gold for glitter isn't someone you want for anything serious.

@roses6564

8 ай бұрын

@@goodfortune5480 Funny how women assume that they are automatically the gold. What if you were actually the glitter and he left because he found gold?

When the trash takes its self out let it go.

@olakhadijah6260

13 күн бұрын

😂100%

@ItalianoWithJodina

12 күн бұрын

Amen!😅

Love bombing is about a selfish person trying to create a passion filled, dopamine spiked experience for themselves. It has nothing to do with the other person. The other person is just an object to try and make them feel good about themselves (i.e. a sociopath).

@cyndigooch1162

Жыл бұрын

Joxer 1980 That's EXACTLY right and the LAST person who did that absolute crap to me "kindly" admitted in the end that it was pure manipulation in order to get what he wanted and actually despises the opposite sex. Of course, there are good reasons as to why that's the case, but women who aren't his mother don't deserve to be punished for her mistakes when he was a child. I'm choosing to remain single now and definitely won't accept any exaggerated messages etc, if I happen to change my mind at a later date. 😊

@jclyntoledo

Жыл бұрын

Wait a second I was there with you until the last bit. Not everyone who love bombs is a sociopath sometimes it's a narcissistic one or sometimes they are just hurt and playing games. Let's not go around handing out personality disorders like we are qualified and know this bc we don't. Blank statements for the most part are not helpful.

@farfromacurse7402

Жыл бұрын

Whewww I totally believe this. This past spring/summer I encountered the most flattering love bomber I’ve ever met. I really thought he was the one. Part of me felt like his compliments were a bit much but I was filled in his admiration because I’m still learning to love myself. Well I fell for it and then he dropped me like a bad habit. Now he’s in a “loving” relationship with someone else. Which means he was never invested in what we had because he was clearly talking to her at the same time. Even though he said he was exclusively talking to me. It’s crazy because I thought we had something. It was so hurtful. I never want to go through that again.

@maximus5465

Жыл бұрын

Very nice background.

@mariabenjamin8018

Жыл бұрын

Lol give me a break, he just said what he needed to say to sleep with her

It's crazy how many men love-bomb you and then ghost you. Then, they come around again after a couple of months, expecting the same "benefits" as before, like nothing happened. And when you say no, they love-bomb you again and it all starts over!!!!! Excellent video, Matthew!😃❤️

@LDBCFC

Жыл бұрын

Not exclusive to men!

@SeeBillyRun

Жыл бұрын

@@LDBCFC 100% agreed; these character traits are not gender specific.

@TheCoffeeCat

Жыл бұрын

Most of it is actually them cheating on another woman with you

@emmanuelavarvaressou8161

Жыл бұрын

@@SeeBillyRun didn't mean to make it gender specific. I'm only speaking from my personal experiences with men, so, I can't really tell what women do or how they act. Nor did I mean that all men or all women are the same, or act a certain way.

@emmanuelavarvaressou8161

Жыл бұрын

@@TheCoffeeCat Most of it is actually them just fooling around and not committing to anyone exclusively. That's what I think.

Some mental issues? Never forget some people are broken, they are afraid of love, intimacy..fear of abandonment? So I ghost you, I leave you, because I am not able to love and receive love. I did that in the past, and recently I received the same. Some of us are just broken. No other men/women, just pain and suffering as our best partner.

He disappeared because he has a little boy mentality and he’s afraid to show up as a real man with real feelings, be vulnerable and honest… which is a precursor to intimacy.

Please remember that ghosting is very loud communication - it's silent but what is communicated is "no" , "I'm not interested", " I don't want to continue". These things are difficult to spell out but the silence means exactly that. Take it as a communication, instead of " not communication". At this point you have to say to yourself : "I heard that clearly and loudly that you are not interested. Well, it's time for me to say as well that I'm not interested neither. Why would I be interested in someone who is not interested in me????" " If and when they decide comeback, just say no. Because if you're saying yes, he will leave you again. Silence for me means loud no, means he has no respect for me or desire, and it means it's my turn to say no to him, as well. Girls, take care of your heart. If it breaks many times, you will end up depressed, cynical, old lady. Please be happy and take care of yourself, there are so many good men, you will find someone for yourself who will respect you. .

@magicalnotes5513

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for ur advice n information 🤍

@moni1952

Жыл бұрын

Not everyone finds the one. Sometimes you just have to be happy with that.

@foreverhappiness3396

Жыл бұрын

My ex gosthed me for a month. We lived 9years. Got married and separated for very difficult reasons and we still loved each other... But sometimes life doesn't allow us to be together

@lifeoutsidecomfortzone

11 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@nofybn7794

9 ай бұрын

Too late. I am done.

“Direct your energy to people who deserve taking them seriously “. Wow!. This is such a golden rule we should all work with.

When men show you who they are believe them and keep moving forward as you’re real king awaits.

They ghost because they don't care enough. Because they don't like you enough. Is there anybody who doesn't know it?

@CJ-ft9yo

Жыл бұрын

So why bother with all the ridiculous banter ?

@gemmah6012

Жыл бұрын

They literally tell u they are in love u and are obsessed with u ad won't leave u alone then they ghost...that's why

@oemj7147

Жыл бұрын

@@CJ-ft9yo To get secs? Is it that hard to understand?

@Hollyambercomedy

Жыл бұрын

Did you watch the video at all or were you just trying to get the attention of scambots?

@90sflower95

Жыл бұрын

@@CJ-ft9yo cause it’s entertaining to them at the moment they get tired of u they ghost u

Truth is they will tell you what you want to hear to get what they want from you.

@jrrichard1977

Жыл бұрын

I’m ashamed to admit I thought he was sincere. I’m humiliated that I was used and treated that way. My self esteem was always low but now it’s at an all-time low. I don’t know how people come out of this without having their self worth taking a hit. I’m also mad that I am still thinking about it.

@cachasgrl75

Жыл бұрын

@@jrrichard1977 it takes time. I’ve been working on myself for a couple of years and it still hurts but not as much. I have faith that some day it will just be a sad memory. Stay strong 💪🏽

@jrrichard1977

Жыл бұрын

@@cachasgrl75 thank you for your kindness

@terrybuckalew6874

Жыл бұрын

@@jrrichard1977 guess thats why the ten commandments are meant to protect you if you follow them and wait until marriage and true love you can eliminate a lot of pain

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of theirs to me. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They could mislead you for a long time for you to be heartbroken when you realise they don’t have feelings like you do. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

I think we are only hitting the surface. We need to be frank and really call this out. A lot of men have emotional issues and don’t know how to be relational. It’s an ego boost and toxic tactic they employ because of their own personal traumas, lack of self love, and disregard for others. It’s more than them being immature, it’s a complete lack of empathy and emotional intelligence. These men will never be good partners, even if you get with them, prepare to be taken advantage of, gaslit, and emotionally neglected. They refuse to heal their emotional wounding then go off and bleed all over everyone else. We really need to start leaving reviews on people like that black mirror episode and calling out this toxic behavior.

@violetgc6049

10 ай бұрын

AMEN!!!!!!! 💯 Brilliant comment

@sweetdreamstime2266

9 ай бұрын

Completely agree.

@guacgirl

9 ай бұрын

This. So much this.

@stayitive4343

9 ай бұрын

Too many Transactional relationships

@borntobewild8905

7 ай бұрын

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Ghosting is an awful thing to do regardless of the relationship type; not apologising when necessary, not answering messages, no ownerships of conversations. It is a terrible behaviour people should learn to remedy as it is toxic and taxing.

@MrsRitchieBlackmore

Жыл бұрын

The unfortunate reality of it is that it's the path of least resistance, and that's the path most people tend to choose. Technology has made it easy to ignore people, and this has spread into the IRL realm. Confrontation is difficult and unpleasant, so if you can just ignore someone and hope they get the hint...why not? It's a crappy thing to do, but often the person ghosting isn't trying to be mean. In fact, in a twisted way, they don't WANT to hurt you and they think by ghosting you you'll forget about them like they forgot about you. It's cowardly and selfish, and unfortunately more common all the time.

@gemmahart3985

4 ай бұрын

If he is someone who likes to keep the door open, you can say them - hey, this is something I don’t allow in my life. forget my number and don’t seek another date with me.

@ayla8345

4 ай бұрын

@@MrsRitchieBlackmore”not trying to be mean” many psychologists have recognised ghosting as emotional abuse depending on how long and intense the relationship was, because that’s how much it mentally affects people and brings them down. I’ve seen people fall into depression because someone they’ve build a strong connection and bond with suddenly disappeared and they’re left wondering what they did wrong or what happened. It leaves huge wounds and people KNOW that. We all know that the person on the other end is suffering. Let’s not act like ghosting is a merciful way to end a friendship or relationship.

@MrsRitchieBlackmore

4 ай бұрын

@@ayla8345 I never meant to suggest it was merciful or good at all! Simply that I understand why people do it, especially in today's society. It's not a good thing, but it IS a reality, and I don't think it's going anywhere.

I am happily married now, but back when I was single, I got ghosted sometimes. It was no big deal to me. I just understood right away that the guy was not interested and I quickly moved on. I actually appreciated that he did not feel the need to "explain" the reasons why he was not interested. Because that can be very hurtful. They are avoiding confrontation, because they don't want to tell you why they don't want you as they know that you will be insulted and hurt. I never needed or wanted to know the reasons "why". I only needed to know that they were not interested and that was enough. If you go out on a date with a guy and then afterwards, three days passes by and you don't hear from him. It's over. Just move on and don't look back. There will be many other guys out there for you to date.

@Nina-ur3ld

Жыл бұрын

Good that you can accept this and move on. I had a crush on someone who never initiate contact and barely responded my messages and I struggle to get over this. I shared a lot of my vulnerabilities with him and loved spending time with him. for me it would be easier to have a reason for example that he already has a lot of friends or that he is in a relationship. But he just let my messages unanswered and I am left thinking that I am not enough - not enough good looking, intelligent or that I came on to strong (which would be important to know). I really wish that both women and men would have rhis difficult conversations and tell me carefully that they have a girlfriend or that they are looking for friendships that match more their energy. Those are no reasons that I take personally. I also don’t want to just end friendships without telling people for example that I am tired to have to wait for months before they also reach out.

@blitzkrieg6872

Жыл бұрын

@@Nina-ur3ld I really get what you are saying here, however, sometimes there are reasons that they know will hurt you if they tell you what they are. It could be something as simple as they think you have bad breath. They think you are a bad kisser. You have a chipped tooth that they noticed. You have bad posture. They don't like your jokes. They don't think you are intelligent enough. It could be just about anything. They already know that the reason they give is something that would make you feel insulted or embarrassed and so they choose not to tell you to avoid hurting your feelings. In this case, as I said, I am grateful that they chose to spare my feelings. Or yes, it can even be that they don't feel attracted enough to you. I never wanted a guy to have to tell me that I was not pretty enough to turn him on or be his girlfriend. That is a punch in the gut. Better to keep the reason to himself. I would just quickly move on and find someone else that wanted me.

@Regina.Clarke

Жыл бұрын

A few dates is whatever. People ghosts several months and years in. Some even do it at the first sign of conflict or leave before the others. It’s not as simple. It is absolutely disrespectful to to ghost no matter the reason. It takes a moment to say hey, blah blah blah and generalize the topic if need be to avoid being hurtful. I have had to do it myself with a guy I broke up with after dating for 9 months. He was nice just not for me…his vision was different than mine. Not many care about ghosts after a few dates; it’s the boyfriends and girlfriends.

@blitzkrieg6872

Жыл бұрын

@@Regina.Clarke Hi Regina. Thanks for your reply. I actually was referring to just within a couple of dates, not an actual established relationship. Yet, I agree with you that no matter what it is disrespectful. Oh, yes, I absolutely know that it is low down, rotten and disrespectful. Yet it seems like so many people operate this way, that I just learned to not let it bother me. I can really understand how it bothers people in general though. It's just basic good manners and etiquette to give that person the heads up that you don't want to continue with them and yes you can give a generalized reason. Being ghosted always made my feelings vanish very fast, because of how weak and passive it is. A real man communicates. He takes responsibility. It shows strength of character. A true gentleman will treat a lady with regard to her inner feelings and sensitivities.

@christinarichie6171

Жыл бұрын

​@@blitzkrieg6872 You have a secure attachment style. I think it really effects people with insecure attachment styles. I just think women should call them out or just delete and block. Can't underestimate the BLOCK button.

This is so spot-on, Matthew. It happened to me recently where someone came on really strong and idealised me, only to then play hot and cold/push-pull as soon as I reciprocated. I called them out immediately, politely but clearly and stated the kind behaviour (consistency, reliability) that I was looking for. They "improved" for a bit, then went back to playing games, then ghosted, while still throwing breadcrumbs ("likes") on social media. I called them out one last time and asked them for a personal talk and to explain their behaviour. Unsurprisingly, the person went ghost again yet continued to "like" my social media. I blocked them on all channels. It's completely unacceptable behaviour and utterly disrespectful and selfish. I don't think such people are actually happy in their lives...but that is theirs to carry.

@hazelwemper8817

Жыл бұрын

well done for spotting the pattern and not falling into it.

@hemingway7952

Жыл бұрын

excellent, astute post Julia !

@janetngare1003

Жыл бұрын

You should have gone no contact initially everywhere.... great job for blocking him

@juliaeffertz4617

Жыл бұрын

@@janetngare1003 yeah, well I gave him a chance because I knew him from work, so I didn't spot the pattern at first...or rather, my gut feeling told me sth is off, but I brushed it aside at first. Lesson learned for sure. Once I knew what I was dealing with, I closed the door.

@life-yq7zp

Жыл бұрын

I am going through the same

Having been part of the sex, drugs and rock and roll era of the 60s and 70, and having been married 3 times , I was part of opening the door to the types of dating relationships I see today. I want to tell your community of women the advice I gave my own daughter. If you are looking for a relationship, Never sleep with, have sex with a man on a first date. The more attractive they are to you the more this advice is good. In order to have a long term relationship with someone you need more than a sex drive. I would say that you should date for a while before entering into intimacy. #1 Players are not willing to put 30 -60 days into a relationship without a payout. This eliminates the sleeze bags. #2 It allows you to know whether or not you actually like this person and have some sort of agreeable personality exchange.

@addyzee1335

Жыл бұрын

👏👏👏 you are absolutely right. I learned this the hard the way.

@joesillamanrs7189

Жыл бұрын

But what about discovering if the physical intimacy chemistry is good? Shouldn’t that be learned earlier?

@anniem2777

Жыл бұрын

@@joesillamanrs7189 60 days is too much. You’re right, it needs to be established at a reasonable time so you’re not wasting your time. The first date is too soon granted

@clarkalark

Жыл бұрын

I disagree. My current partner and I had sex on the first date and I've had sex on other first dates and because of my experience, here's what I think... ladies, if you feel like sleeping with them, FREAKIN GO FOR IT. If they're going to leave, they're GOING to leave, whether you have sex on the first date or the 10th. This message telling us to wait is sexist and outdated. The problem that comes up for woman though is they tend to attach outcomes to sexual encounters and THAT'S the thing you gotta let go of. The lady has ALL the control though, especially, in the beginning. Girl, if you want to wait, wait. If you don't, don't! The only rule is, there are no rules. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT and if sex is one of those things, hunny, go get yours!

@Thedirtylittletruth

Жыл бұрын

@@clarkalark perfectly said for women

I think ghosters would fall under the umbrella of narcissists who are dismissive avoidant. Please stay away from these types of people. They don’t change and you weren’t the first person or the last that they’ll do that to.

I think it resonates w me that they are afraid of being honest as well as keeping us on the sideline. Dating now is so tough. I’m so tired. It’s all a game now and way too easy to discard people.

@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485

Жыл бұрын

In the same boat women treat men this way too. It’s not like my grandparents time at all. I don’t think people are built to cycle through many people either.

@genxx2724

Жыл бұрын

@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I agree. It’s dysfunctional and damaging. We’re meant to live in a small town, marry someone we’ve known all our lives after high school, and get on with raising a family. Moving to the city, university, career, and meeting people from all over with different values who are likely to move away, doesn’t make for a better life. People mistreat others because there are no s community consequences.

@shashikumarreddy1857

Жыл бұрын

women don't ghost? 😂😂 Entire dating market gave power to women. And they are using it perfectly...

@bdgregorybd

Жыл бұрын

Blame women for the current dating climate. Decades ago, men publicly courted only one woman that was a virgin, and he had to be heavily vetted by her family to even get a chance. Nowadays women were the original ones to insist on having multiple options and giving themselves to the best guy in their mind and ghosting all the others. Guys have just simply adapted to the game. And guess what? This dating game will only get more cutthroat until women decide to be more traditional again.

@amber4027

Жыл бұрын

@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I agree. Thank you.

Going through this right now. I m shocked he ghosted me. We were so much into each other. Now i m feeling left alone and used. I hope everything goes back to normal soon 😢

@maryadrian2155

Жыл бұрын

dont worry you will be okay..

@ona8938

Жыл бұрын

The same. Stay strong.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

I feel you so much. They all do only that little game of lovebombing or promising and not delivering, saying x & doing y, etc. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their feelings if they even have them are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

Their silence and absence is an explanation for how they feel about you non-existent. It's painful and it hurts. You're not a plan B or a second option. You should be their first.

I really like that your advice here wasn't "how to get him back," but instead emphasized how we need to recognize dangerous traits and hold to our standards.

If said person is a narcissist don't feed them with the satisfaction of knowing they "deeply confused you." Starve them of your response. Don't turn into a ghost - turn into a Genie & pull the rug out from under them & use it fly off on your way. . .

@orcamexiwie

Жыл бұрын

I'm there. Being in a relationship where there's no ghosting but semi. I'm done with the crap of putting distance in between. You're going to be busy because life is so tough on you but you want me to be your kleenex? Fine. I'll go do my stuff so pretty damn well that maybe I won't come back. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They have some issues, that's why the hurry. Mental health problems, emotional immaturity, some other woman waiting somewhere else. It could be anything. They are selfish and don't care how much you suffer when they leave. Usually they disappear when you actually get interested, because they don't want your closeness. There is something they are not telling you. They might be also hot n' cold. If the guy disappears after you had a good date, believe his actions, it means that he is not interested in a serious relationship and never take him back!

@umas1909

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@Alloniya

Жыл бұрын

Yes when it gets too serious they run 🏃‍♂️

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

@@Alloniya They all do only that little game of lovebombing or promising and not delivering, saying x & doing y, etc. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their feelings if they even have them are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

@venuspython

4 ай бұрын

@@amnbvcxz8650you are not unlikeable; you just have to keep going and know that you are going to meet him.

My last "situationship" was not only a love-bomber, but an absolute gaslighter when I contacted him a year after our "not actually a breakup" to get closure on a couple matters. He literally denied all key aspects of our few months of dating...including the fact that we were even dating. Since then, I've literally shut down romantically and sexually. I'm so incredibly burnt and scarred by everything that the idea of dating again makes me physically ill.

@do3258

Жыл бұрын

Fuck that guy. You'll heal, take your time ❤

@kactapuzzle

Жыл бұрын

Im sorry you’re experiencing this.. Therapy might be a good shout for this one x

@butterchickenisback

Жыл бұрын

You will be fine, gurl. Stay strong, love yourself and live your life to make you happy. The right person will eventually come through

@zinazoulou3574

Жыл бұрын

hello,how are you doing today,4 months later?

@leonie563

11 ай бұрын

Oh no don't. I come at dating and relationships with:- 1. I am single and can be again. 2. Enough rope. If he sees me he won't run that far. 3. Let him look around without jealousy, it's educational. 4. Guys have more baggage than women so understand that. 5. It gets harder as you get older. Divorces, death, kids, health. But go with it

I love what you said exactly. He doesn't want to admit his wrongs so he gives you that silent treatment. Exactly smh

Words of adoration can be addictive when a person is love starved. Stay safe and cut the heartstrings with distance.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of lovebombing and pulling back or misleading me with promises never met. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their feelings if they have them, are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

@Handleitt1

5 ай бұрын

@@amnbvcxz8650 Don’t give up, you will find your tribe/soul family. I learned I would people please and be a “nice” girl to manipulate others to not leave me. This was a disservice to both parties. I now set boundaries for others and most importantly for myself. I no longer allow my sensitive feelings to be ignited so easily. I don’t give others the time of my day when I’m busy. I don’t try to control others time/ attention. I don’t “fix” people, but I will share my healing journey. I don’t give my energy when I don’t feel 100%. When we heal, we also heal 7 generations forward and 7 generations back. How we love and talk to ourselves is the most important. My inner voice sounds very enthusiastic, reassuring, and forgiving to my inner child. I still mess up, but it’s less and often a new level of conscience. I recently learned even some gentleman can be dogs if we allow them to see us as a cute toy. People read us to understand how we allow ourselves to be treated and they treat us as so. I will let a person know when I don’t like something or they will run the risk of loosing my presence in their life as I slowly pull away and create distance. This hurts the anxious inner child in me, but I’m protecting myself while have an open honest communication with the others. I know you can heal too because it all starts with you ❤️

Try not giving a man what he wants, regardless of how much you like the idea. The genuine person will wait for you. The more toxic types will wander off and find someone else. You'll be better off without them 👍🏼. Be good with yourself. Do the relationship slog before the fun stuff, it repels the a-holes.

I’m learning not to read too much into peoples shit and if people disappear great! You just showed me who you really are, a person with no respect or integrity and I simply don’t need people like that in my life.

I take it as some kind of game, so I just go on loving myself and living life, if a man REEAALLYY wants you, he will make it clear and won’t leave you confused, don’t worry about karma, it’ll hit and usually it's when you’re happy with someone else, no ones problem but theirs cause if they do it once they’ll do it again……go where you are clearly loved go where you are clearly appreciated go where things are clear so you’re not left wondering…..much love

@PatriciaLopez-ck1ig

Жыл бұрын

Truth is, even when we call someone out on behaviour that isn't acceptable and we're not ok with, they'll normally throw out there a bunch of excuses and ultimately ghost again if that was their intention/decision in the first place. Nothing one can do or say will change that, so it's not even about them but about giving ourselves enough closure to move on, whether or not they acknowledge the shit they're doing

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

Karma doesn’t hit them. Online dating enables this behavior

Not to pull out a defeatist attitude…but I am so tired of dating. Exhausting effort with nothing but hollow people raising expectations and then inevitably hurting you.

@galitb6963

Жыл бұрын

Ugh ya I agree

Thanks, Matthew. Some of my takeaways: 1. The concept of someone "withholding closure" 😬. 2. There's often a thin line between positive and unhealthy traits (spontaneous vs impulsive). 3. It is dangerous to want to be with someone more than you want to honor your own standards.

@abeautifulcountry9353

9 ай бұрын

Very insightful. Thank you!

If someone ghosts me, that person is dead to me.

Did she sleep with him? Sometimes they get what they want (sex) and they say/do everything up until that moment they get it. Then, boom, they gone. 👻

@maryadrian2155

Жыл бұрын

exactly

Why is ghosting even a thing? Who honestly thought that would be an acceptable way as an adult to handle any situation. This happened with my last relationship never seen it coming nor did I have any reason. He spoke about wanting kids, getting married, making sure we’re on the same page. I don’t believe in having conversations like that with anyone. I fell in love for the first time. We hit a point in our relationship where we both were scared to become vulnerable. Thought he felt the same so I decided to take the first step so he knew I wouldnt cheat or leave him. That should’ve been a red flag. I’ve heard everything at this point. First time being ghosted. Never had my heart shattered like that. Completely turned me off from dating. If someone thinks ghosting is an easy way out instead of having any respect at all to sit down like an adult to have a conversation, then that person should not be dating. Anyone that leaves you questioning your worth, does not deserve to be happy.

@lindsayriggsbrown979

9 ай бұрын

When you really truly know your worth, there is not a person or a thing on earth that can ever make you question your worth.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

I feel you so much. They all do only that little game of lovebombing or promising and not delivering, saying x & doing y, etc. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their feelings if they even have them are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable or something about me is wrong. I didn’t feel this before and handles rejection fine as a teenager (and it always happened), but by my age i realise maybe there is something wrong with me that makes me unloveable.

@kleinesalaska666

2 ай бұрын

​@@amnbvcxz8650 I feel your situation so much, I wish you all the best🙌🏼

My advice when a guy pulls the ghosting , gaslighting trick is to walk away, tell all their friends they are dead to you and sit back and watch the narcs confusion trick be turned back on them. No matter how much you love someone, how much it hurts, choose self respect !

I do think we need to discuss that the rush of feelings and attraction we can feel after just meeting someone isn't love. It's lust. The idea of romantic love has caused us to confuse lust with love. Love takes time. It's not what you say It's what you do. Love is a verb a doing word.

@melaniemanning2462

4 ай бұрын

What does this have to do with ghosting?

Great topic but I've found in my experience if a guy acts super keen when hes with you then disappears or acts flaky it usually because theres someone else in the picture like a long distance relationship or an ex hes toing and froing with .so I'd say if they resurface you need a convo about that and make sure they re properly available ..good luck gals !

Because he lacks the maturity, decency and courage to be honest and usually has someone else lined up! My ex fiance' did this after complaining that his ex ghosted and breadcrumbed him...and how awful she was?? He walked out whilst I was very ill and devastated my mental and physical health..and never took responsibility for anything he did or said! Absolutely zero emotional intelligence. Good luck to the new supply..she'll need it!

@anniepatra7159

Жыл бұрын

U r right💯

This describes about 90% of the men I know. They're absolutely off the rails and trying to make sense of their madness drives me nuts! It's like they put our relationship in a race car and go 200 mph only to park us and abandon the car one lap away from the finish line, and sometimes they eventually come back and pretend they never left, and sometimes they don't come back at all. I finally realized I have the power. I set the pace. And any guy who wants privileges or benefits from me has to show up and step up and be consistent. And it's not being egoic or difficult on my end. It's giving a real man a fair challenge. That's the best compliment you can give a real man, is to be a fair challenge for him. I make sure that I set the terms clearly. I say, "I'd really like to be more intimate with you, I think you're very attractive, so I'm hoping you'll show me you're trustworthy. I'm ready to reward that when I sense it." I just started this so I've had mixed results with the last two dates I've been on. Both men responded very well! And I felt that they respected me and enjoyed the challenge. The first one hasn't called or texted me since our last date and I'm not chasing. But he did shift into a more thoughtful person and walked me to my door and kissed me very gentlemanly before he vanished. The second one slowed down his energy and has been more romantic! He's really shown up and it's impressing me so much! He's treating me so good! We'll see how it goes.

@pekoml3999

7 ай бұрын

How did it progress ?

@dawnsrayz

7 ай бұрын

@@pekoml3999 I'm friends with both of them now. But it didn't work out with either of them because both of them weren't ready for long term. That taught me a lot too. I used to think if a man ghosted me, it was an insult to me in some way. But, I've learned that sometimes it's actually respect because the guy realizes you need more than he's got to give and he respects you enough not to play around with you. So, he leaves...but he doesn't want to slam the gate because he thinks if he does improve his situation and gets his act together, if he comes back he'll try again. And be for real. So he doesn't want to say an official goodbye but he also can't be there for you right now...because he's ashamed of where he is in life. So, sometimes it's actually a compliment. Even though a sucky one. I'm working on myself right now. Self-reflection and self-improvement is very important for the relationship dynamic. As much as I'm learning not to be scared of setting boundaries to separate the men from the boys, I have to remember humility and gratitude and just patience.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of lovebombing then pulling back to me. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. So, it’s not because i sleep too easily with someone, the opposite. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their “feelings” if they even have them are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

“More than you want to have standards, you want them back” so painfully true then they have completely got under your skin 😢

Isnt it ironic that some people claims theyre honest but dont have the guts to say to someone theyre dating that its not going to work out😅😂

The real moment that I knew my guy was for me and about me was when I was first expressing I wanted more with him before we went further, and when I just kind of backed off to let him sort out his feelings…and he came to me, wanting to talk it out, wanting to make sure I was happy in the relationship. He lived up to everything he said. The hard lesson I learned in life, no man earned you being excited in days. The most he should do is pique your interest. But enough to even stress about why he didn’t call? Nah. He hasn’t invested anything. He hasn’t had enough time to care. He barely knows you. The best thing is to approach it as a long trial period. And during the trial period you’re looking for words to become actions and actions to become consistent, that’s before even considering him as relationship material

I got an explanation from the person, but it always amazes me how unself aware selfish, and immature people can be at 30 years old. It's not someone else's job to entertain or heal you after heartbreak. I knew this at 20. It's not hard.

My boyfriend of four years went to work one morning last month, and just never came home. There was no argument, there was no discussion, in fact, he was intimate with me the morning that he left. I expected him to come home for dinner that night as we had discussed it The day before. I found out that he quit his job and moved out of state. I was devastated and blindsided. When I finally did get through to him after texting and calling 1 million times, he totally gaslight me. I was so hurt. I’m still hurt . I wish he would’ve had the balls to have an honest conversation with me.

@meagon177

2 ай бұрын

Wow I’m sorry. I hope you’re healthy and at peace now. Did you ever find out what happened?

@gracie5870

2 ай бұрын

You dodged a bullet. That's better than you having a lot of kids together and your ex bf left to buy milk and never came back.

@townsendhl22

2 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry. I hope time is healing your wounds

@HH-gv8mx

2 ай бұрын

@@gracie5870 yes. Thank goodness I didn’t have kids with him.

@HH-gv8mx

2 ай бұрын

@@townsendhl22 thank you. It comes and goes in waves. The hardest part of grieving him is over. I didn’t know that I could get over that part. The first two or three months was wicked hard. He would even appear in my dreams. I felt such a loss and such a sadness that I didn’t think would go away. Thank God that part is over.

12:05 - - "Hey - - What are you up to ? " - - This is his EXACT words to me ! ! Thank you so much for clarifying everything so well ! ! ! ❤

Love yourself ladies, it's the best and only way. ❤

How about he pursue you to make you fall inlove with him and in the end of the day he will tell you that his not ready for a relationship

It's a 'push and pull' game, and about keeping a person on the hook. Women and men need to stop putting their self worth on having a person in their lives. They just want a person, not about being with a person who treats them with respect. Key word: Respect

This is what I repeatedly said to the guys who do love bombing. They were being controlled by their emotions making them think that they already like me, but it was just the situation that they adore. That one guy already like another girl just a month after he said he can't live without me. 🤷 If we can't avoid getting involved with them, let us just learn the signs when to stop.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of theirs to me. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their attitude or whom they like is the flickiest thing! It’s like they don’t even have feelings or object permanence. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

This is the best video! I have been looking for the answer to this question for the longest. No one really talks about the guy actually coming on strong, you having boundaries…not needy, none of that. He’s the one that actually brings up the topic of a relationship. And then boom he’s gone…

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of theirs to me. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

Why are men allergic to me reciprocating 😂

If they come back either ignore completely or say, "This is not okay, this is not energy I ever allow into my life. This is behavior I find deeply unattractive. . . . Hey it was really strange to me that we had such an intense connection over the weekend, but then barely hear from you afterwards. And for me, the kind of energy I want in my life is from people who are consistent , people who are communicative to be in my life day to day, not in my life one day and out the next. The things you said and how strongly you came on only to disappear was deeply confusing and had a real impact on my trust [in you]. So I don't know what else to say to you, but I wanted to be honest about that with you."

If you are ghosted by someone you love and\or are in love with while still having abandonment trauma/feelings of unworthiness. I have something that works. Use the triggers, sit with the feelings and heal the old wounds. When you feel okay, pour all your mental energy in self love. Detach from external validation, just you vs you. You validate you, you comfort you, you buy yourself flowers, you take yourself on nice dates, you do things you love that will fill you will genuine happiness. By the time you have reached this point, you have levelled up and will be strong enough to not only not want them in your life. They won’t be a vibrational match, so they can’t reach you. You’ll also be more aligned with yourself and people that are actually capable of loving you.❤

It's like if a guy tells you it's over, but he won't return the earrings you left at his house -- even if you offer to pick them up at reception at his job or send somebody else to pick it up. Wants to keep the door open. Some guys are just professional babies.

I took this advice with a guy that has been coming back and being hot and cold for 6 YEARS. Once I unfollowed him on social platforms, the harassing messages and text messages that went unanswered became so frequent and obnoxious. When I responded with this level headed response, I think he was truly shocked but apologized. I feel so good having respected myself and setting a clear boundary.

I got ghosted a few months ago this makes me feel better because it still hurts but I need to forget about him after one date

Im 41, retired and single. I am the King of my own castle and loving life solo. I have recently decided to try dating, so far not bad, But Ive already ghosted two people, and Ill tell you why. After initial interest was shown I went out of my way to do something nice for two women. Both times VERY WELL received, but after this was done, I went home and waited. I waited to see if these people would want to invest time or energy into me. These two individuals had excuses for almost anything, so I stopped texting. Now im getting messages asking what they did wrong. Its simple really, if a guy is going to go out of the way to invest time and energy into you, be prepared to reciprocate. Appreciate the small things, because to most of us guys, thats what really matters. Third person I did this with, she responded the exact way I was looking for in someone, its that Easy ladies.

I don’t think being passionate and intense in a certain moment is necessarily intentionally a lovebomb manipulation. Some people are just in the moment of lust. I’ve been on both ends of this. Then again I don’t ghost people.

The last time I got ghosted,the guy ended up getting married 6 months later. He's probably already talking to someone else!

My experience was a wonderful week with a guy who called himself my boyfriend and then ghosted me. After not hearing from him for ten days I reached out to him and asked if he is alive. He replied yes he is alive and he started dating someone else…because he didn’t know me very well…huh? 🤔🤪 Anyway…I told him he won the worst boyfriend I’ve ever had in my entire life award 🥇 😂 and blocked him! No thanks!

"You really deep down, more than you want to have standards, want them back!" This hit me hard :(

Ladies. If you met the ghoster guy through online dating where he has many options, you're being ghosted whilst he love bombs new ghostees. This is the side effect of supply and demand with a superficial based dating system where the guy you want is also wanted by most women on the site. Instead, try to meet genuine men in real life through common interest events and take time to get to know them first. Build a deep connection that will last instead of chasing unavailable feelings of lust. TC x

@sarahhey8654

Жыл бұрын

@AliSand Meetup has many social and interest groups all around the world including hiking, country walks and outdoor activities :)

Love this guy! That happens to me a lot. I get love bombed then they get distant. I think i attract emotionally unavailable people, who get excited when we together but afterwards they fear of responisibility and relationship arises and distance themselves that i wont ask more. Now i am aware of it finally feel relieved otherwise i felt guilty or not enough... Now I just turned to my life and realized that it is their problem not mine:) Thank you

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

But what if they all act thay way? They all do only that little game of lovebombing or promising and not delivering, saying x & doing y, etc. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. Their feelings if they even have them are the flickiest thing. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

Even if it’s their problem, how do you find one if they’re all.the.effing.same!

If you can’t walk away from someone because of stirred feelings. Good thing they left. Love is having company not being addicted to their company. After one call and no response. Just keep doing what you were doing, but with out them. Like oooh what a tragedy. They gave you more free time to do thing you love. Ooh scary. 🤣🤣🤣

This is actually what I needed to hear right now, thank you Matthew 😊. I communicated my standards to someone that came on strong and matched my consistency initially to then disappear for days avoiding making plans when we were supposed to be meeting up. It didn't feel organic to me, so I said if their plans changed it was honestly all good, but I'd rather know to reorganize my time. He then apologized and said he had been super busy and would reach out later on the day, so I was 'it's all good, I understand, sure thing, I'm happy to talk 😊', but he never did. So I was starting to doubt if I had jumped to conclusions too quickly or maybe come across as rude, too serious or sth. I found it difficult to do cause I really felt I had a genuine connection with this person and we were on the same page. Truth is if someone can't be consistent and I say 'I'm going to take a step back cause I feel the vibe on your side has shifted' and I don't find them putting a bit more of effort in but getting defensive instead, I kind of know everything I needed to know 🤷🏻‍♀️

@amyitis

Жыл бұрын

If any guy ever uses the word "busy" he's already checked out. Save yourself the time and effort and run. These people aren't worth it

@CAL-of9mu

Жыл бұрын

@@amyitis you're 100% right.

@PatriciaLopez-ck1ig

Жыл бұрын

That might be true up to certain extent, I'm a busy person myself, so only someone that hasn't anything going on will be always available. However, I do think that when we're genuinely into someone, we make sure they know we're interested and if we're about to get busy, we let them know, cause it's considerate. It's just what I do, but it's dangerous expecting our behaviour from others, cause we're all different. I don't think he did it intentionally, but I'm just not up for being left hanging and putting my plans on hold when in no world they'd be doing that if they were on my side.

@PatriciaLopez-ck1ig

Жыл бұрын

I def want to communicate my standards in the early days, but it always comes across as confrontational, so not too sure if I'm actually finding the bliss point in communication ngl 😂. In texting we def lose the chance to put the tone there, but people tend to avoid phone calls like the plague. I feel there's a misconcept when it comes to communication, cause people tend to confuse communicating effectively the things that actually matter with chit-chat every day and keep each other updated on everything they're doing and that's not what communication means to me

@shashikumarreddy1857

Жыл бұрын

women don't ghost? 😂😂 Entire dating market gave power to women. And they are using it perfectly...

He needed the validation that weekend and he got it and that's all he want

Wow I loved this video. Way too many people tolerate nonsense. Matthew put it perfectly. If a guy likes you and is serious, he will not behave badly. He can only continue to mistreat you, if you let him. Love and peace everyone 🙏🏽

@amnbvcxz8650

5 ай бұрын

They all do only that little game of lovebombing then pulling back to me. Whereas I’m careful and not interested in being used for sex or emotional labour. I got tired, burned out. How much do you have to tolerate, how much do you have to put effort in making them feel good, and it’s all pointless anyway, not returned. They can be mean but the moment you talk back lose “interest”. I almost stopped trying to invest my emotions and time into that. I’m mid twenties and there’s high risk of me dying an old maid and adopting. Maybe i’m just unlikeable.

The best universal dating advice i personally could give for ladies as a man: ``learn how to sell yourself to the man in social way.`` cuzz that is exactly what we all doing when why trying to get something romantic from opposite gender. And how to do that? well simple, fallow same patterns what salesman does whenever they are trying to sell you something... basically never throw random positive traits you have at him,instead highlight the positive traits you have that the guy in question specificly wants the most and by highlight i don`t mean tell him(just telling never works), i mean show him whatever that might be...

I was led on for 10 months, some plans were made etc then boom, ghosted. I was fully into it and she was getting over a relationship. I was not going to run after. Gutless, emotional terrorism.

@carmenkamberos1156

Жыл бұрын

Never date someone who’s getting over a relationship. It’s REBOUND relationship and it causes damage and hurt to both people involved.

Sucks to be ghosted but I'm never super ready to give up my freedom anyway so it's almost bitter sweet when it happens. It feels like most of the time guys are shit testing to see if I chase them and when I don't then the ghosting becomes permanent. Oh well on to the next. 🤷‍♀️

I just said to someone who ghosted me and came back few times and trying to hide he is married to leave me alone I don't want you and he said you changed ok I will go.... You don't need a conversation anymore with the person out of politeness. You directly cut them off, make it clear for them to leave you alone and move on. It's easy to say than do, but that's what you do, you move on without them......

I was impulsive towards him, we have like 3 misunderstandings in a month. And I deserved the ghosting, and I won't chase him, or say sorry again and again cause it is really shameless of me. He didn't blocked me but unfriended, and I don't want us to communicate again, I just trusted my guts. It's hard to love when you also have trauma in the past, you look forward more to pain than of beauty, and that makes you are not good enough to anybody. Keeping busy helps.

Try being ghosted after 9 YEARS. Was telling me he was still in love with me but going through a difficult time MH wise, he loved me but just needed to have some time to sort his head out. Then a weeks later we’d agreed a day out, and he left me sitting in a pub alone - didn’t show. No text, no call nothing. Haven’t heard a peep since & is with someone else, love bombing her. I’m done with men.

For me, I always put 110% effort into my dates and relationships. If I don’t get the effort I feel warrants my level of effort then I walk away. I’m a fairly fit guy and very traditional and I make a good wage so I always pay for everything. That’s why If I’m not getting a certain level of reciprocation/interest then I’m gone.

@melaniemanning2462

4 ай бұрын

Sure that's fine, but don't ghost.

@Stuark54

4 ай бұрын

@@melaniemanning2462 Don’t worry I’d never ghost. I just let them know that I wasn’t feeling the connection.

That's one of the best explanations of ghosting that I've heard. It's basically a form of manipulation.

Wow that happens to me like 2 or 3 years ago. And I was thinking a lot why he ghost me and then speak very badly about me. I was really sad for so many months. I thought it was my fault. Now I understand so many things. My Therapist in the past explained me most of the things that you say here but now I understand in a different and deep way. Thanks so much for this video.

I can’t stop watching your videos. These are so helpful and can be applied not even to dating but other fears in our lives . Thank you for creating this content

You have no idea how much I this was needed in my life at this moment. Thank you

Thank you. I love that you added the quote by the man who was forgotten about and how he was left with those feelings every day moving forward. I wondered if I was sane to be upset day after day about a ghosting love bomber that just bombed my life. Thank you. I’m meditating him the hell out of my brain.

Love the idea of Dark Pairings. You broke it down so clearly. I see that a lot of handling this kind of thing really just requires guts. Guts to call yourself out and also to call others out, on acting responsibly and honoring feelings. I also like the ending: "go out and live your life and direct your energy towards people who deserve to be taken seriously." Very empowering! Thanks

Love bomber aka narcissist Especially when she showed she had boundaries, they hate that

Thank you Matthew for what you do. I was just contacted by a man I've dated off and on for a year. Our times together were insanely magnetic that it felt like being on heroin. And then he would disappear. I've told him how it makes me feel, and he still disappeared. I remembered you saying attention doesn't mean intention. This time, I told him I don't understand how he can act so smitten and walk away like it was nothing. I told him I don't hate him. I said I enjoyed every moment we had together and then good luck to him.

Just experienced this kind of behavior from a man I was dating. Was soooo confused. Thank you for this video, brought some clarity.

I put this on repeat also sharing it with my friends, This is such a perfect yet fruitful content❤️💪🏼

Best timing for this video. I am going through this right now, I just saw the ghoster yesterday and pretending like nothing happened. And I am guilty of wanted it back.

Matthew, thanks a million for helping me recover from my current situation. All your advices are gold.

#3 - So relatable. Kept "on tap" for years. Never again.

I found out that he guy I have been seeing "exclusively" for the last 2 months has been seeing otherr women for about a month and hiding it. We had plans to go to NY, had my bags packed, waiting by the door for him to pick me up, said he was on his way. I texted him asking where he was and he said he decided not to go to NY. But i can see on f.b that he decided to take this other woman instead. He said some stupid comment, "I cant talk to u cause ur going to hate me, but I decided not to go." Why would I hate you for changing ur mind on going? I would only hate him because of the actual, real reason. I called immediately. He texted "can i call u later?' Only to never call or text after that. Ghosted me to keep me hanging on till he comes back, gonna have some lame excuse, hoping I won't question him on it. Sick thing is he was with me the day before, met my daughter, and just lied over and over. So painful and he doesn't give 2 shits.

WOW! This video really shines a strong light on the many truths of the matter. I found it extremely helpful, and I also appreciate the way it has helped others whose responses here are incredibly insightful. I am deeply grateful for this particular video. It seems divinely inspired.

The most hurtful things that a guy/girl could do in a relationship is when he/she ghosted you. No reason, no breakup just a silence. That’s the time that you will question your worth. Been there Dandruff😂

This question is off-topic Matthew, but I thought I would put it here. Many of your videos deal with who pays for dinner, who makes the effort, etc. etc.. yet not once have I ever heard. You mention how often women cook for men (not that men never cook for women, but you must admit it’s much more common for a woman to cook for a man). An example would be a guy I dated off and on for a couple of years and broke up with recently. First of all, he makes fully twice as much money as I do. that said, for every one time he brought me out to a dinner, I would probably make at least two or three dinners in my home for him(I am a good, cook and enjoy cooking). So if I knew he was coming over for dinner on a Saturday night, I would probably take a few days to plan, grocery shop, and prep for that meal. I enjoyed this process. I would get top quality ingredients from farmers market and local butchers and really go all out to make something beautiful and delicious. Often, the amount I would spend in time and labour to make a beautiful meal far exceeded what it would cost to take someone out, but that’s besides the point. A couple of weeks ago we went away for a weekend together, and he got upset when I didn’t offer to pay for half of the dinner bill. We went back to the hotel and had a discussion about it, and he told me that he felt “taken for granted” because when we went out, he always paid for dinner. I listen to what he said and then retorted “how many times have I cooked for dinner for you? ” the look on his face. I could tell he had never even thought about the time and effort or expense I went through to do that for him. Now you could say that maybe this guy was just clueless, or just didn’t think of a woman cooking dinner for him as any sort of effort since he grew up with his mother cooking , but honestly, this is not the first person I’ve had this situation with. So, who do you think was actually taken for granted? Every time he paid for dinner I was thankful. I felt that taking me out to dinner was a gift to me, just as me making dinner for him was a gift. I would really appreciate it if you would address this in one of your videos Matthew because I’ve literally never heard anyone talk about this, and it happens all the time to many many women .

This was really helpful for me and helped me have a break through aha moment about a situation with a friend! Thanks Matthew!

I did it because I care so much and I don't want to give her everything but my best. I'm still healing and growing so I can everything she has always dreamed of. She deserves the best and I don't want to give her anything less. I love you french fry, and I'm not giving up on you. You are the love of my life and I'm planning and envisioning our highest timeline together. Nothing less will suffice because I want all of you and I want to give you all of me. ❤️

I had an ex that would ghost me.... then appear again (zombie me).... then ghost when things got hard, then zombie me again... then ghost whenever he wanted... then zombied again... it became this toxic and abusive cycle that created a tortuous mental conditioning for me. It got to where if he ghosted me... I would simply wait for his return. Because I knew he was coming back. I just had to be patient. If I brought up his behavior, he became defensive like I was attacking him. Everything became a me issue. As per him, I turned everything I touched toxic. The abusive cycle created a trauma bond to him. It crippled my life and my progress. This went on for 8 years. After we broke up over 2 years ago, it took a year (and therapy) to accept he wasn't coming back this time. It took another 6 months to even want to start dating.... ghosting is a topic I address on day one. It is behavior I will not accept under any terms. If you leave, youre gone. The end.

Yep. Living through this right now. Thank you, Matthew. I put this on repeat this morning. ❤

@msalexxa2012

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Same 🙄