My favourite GM quote "I would never join any club that would accept me as a member"

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Love it too

@festeradams3972

6 ай бұрын

Might have been groucho, but I recall one quote that said, as I recall, I sent a letter and a photo to the lonely hearts club."..."They sent it back and said they weren't that lonely..." Might have been Rodney Dangerfield though.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one

@festeradams3972

6 ай бұрын

I seem to recall one more quote from Groucho from his TV show way back when. He asked a woman guest her age. She said "approaching 40." Groucho said "from which direction"....

@roger_melly5025

6 ай бұрын

@@festeradams3972 So funny 🤣

Couldn't choose a worse robot voice to take all the humour of Groucho Marx quotes.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will try to improve for future videos.

@mikep1556

6 ай бұрын

That's exactly what I thought.

@bungee7503

6 ай бұрын

Turn the sound off and read.

@Kevin-mx1vi

6 ай бұрын

@@bungee7503 That's exactly what I did. Couldn't bear that ridiculous voice.

@JohnCasserly

6 ай бұрын

Exactly what I thought as I stopped the video after 3 quotes. It literally is "the way you tell em'"

One of my favorite Groucho quotes: "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one 😂

@brain5prain

6 ай бұрын

Ha! I was married by a judge, 30 years ago, in his chambers. My wife was his court reporter. Happily, I feel no regrets not having a jury. But great line...Had not heard that one before.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience 👍

@sigmaoctantis1892

6 ай бұрын

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?"

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quotes you mentioned.

He had another wonderful quip on TV : People say television is anti-education. I disagree. When someone switches it on, I go in the next room and read a book.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one 👍

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quote you mentioned.

Groucho was a brilliant comic, who left behind so many wonderful quotes. "What have future generations ever done for us?" But the narrator actually managed to make Groucho sound boring. Too bad you couldn't have found original audio of Groucho saying these things, or at least gotten a Groucho impersonator.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. We will improve for future videos.

@brain5prain

6 ай бұрын

I agree about the lackluster narration. I think it sounds better with the audio off. (Right, Groucho?)

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@jsl151850b

6 ай бұрын

Set playback speed to 1.25 normal speed.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Without giving the source of the quotes (movie, books), attributing them to Groucho is at the very least doubtful. There are a few I recognize from Marx Brothers movies, but about half of them don't sound like him at all. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Don't trust random unsourced quotes on the Internet or the people who post them."

@chaplainmattsanders4884

6 ай бұрын

😂

@sureshot8399

5 ай бұрын

Nope, not "Honest Abe", that was Genghis Khan, 9th October 1223 at The Bucket of Blood Pub in Cornwall, England after a Scotch egg and a wank.

On reading he said "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quote you mentioned.

Loved those quotes. 😂

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Agreed

Groucho Marx offered to marry Margaret Dumont, and another woman, as well. Indignant, Margaret said "That's bigamy!" Groucho replied "That's big o' me, too!"

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Good one

@kenttm42

6 ай бұрын

While walking the gangplank to an ocean liner, she asked him if he had everything. Groucho replied, "I haven't had any complaints yet."

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

Woman in movie,”Hold me closer! Hold me closer!” Groucho,”Madam, if I held you any closer, I’d be behind you.”

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Good one

@OLDMUSICJOHNNY

6 ай бұрын

I remember that one, I even have the movie. Marx Brothers were unique in the Cinema History.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

I have always liked Groucho’s lines. When I read that many of his movie lines were “insults,” I appreciated them even more!

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

😂

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

0:55 A similar quote is appearing in the Gallettiana, a collection of memorable slips of the tongue by Johann Georg August Galletti, from 1789 to 1819 teacher at the Gymnasium illustre in Gotha, Germany. His 34th slip is quoted as "Charilaus wurde sehr jung geboren" (Charilaus was born very young).

The best and funniest programme on KZread is YOU BET YOUR LIFE with Groucho.

@Open-Quote

5 ай бұрын

Agreed 👍

Those quotes are brilliant 😂

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

We agree 👍

Mi\y favourite quote of his is: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend..... Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read".

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one

@Voodoomaria

6 ай бұрын

@@Open-Quote Groucho lived in New York City, and frequently took lunch at a sidewalk deli. One day while lunching with friends, a minister stopped by his table and said " I'd like to thank you for all the joy you've brought into this world" Without pausing Groucho responded "And I'd like to thank you for all the joy you've taken out of it." His wit was fast, and razor sharp.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quote you mentioned.

“Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.”-Groucho Marx

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" is my favorite ..... But Open Quote should have SPENT a couple dollars and found actual quotes and USED GROUCHO's VOICE !

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quote you mentioned. We listened to your comment. Thanks

@csnide6702

Ай бұрын

@@Open-Quote will do .... good work !

Why not pay a few bucks for an even half decent comedian to have read these with a bit of intonation and expression.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. This is a new channel and we keep learning. We wish to improve for future videos.

@normanstewart7130

6 ай бұрын

I'd do it for nothing!

@007JHS

6 ай бұрын

@@normanstewart7130 Don't sell yourself cheaply.... but I do really see the point you're making.

@philspencelayh5464

6 ай бұрын

I started reading it with the sound off and could hear Groucho saying it in my head, then turned up the volume and it fell flat.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is good one

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html The video features the quote you mentioned.

Love the Plastic Surgeon one the best, but they're all solid gold.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Agreed

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

My favorite: When i was in Africa, i shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Love this one :)

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

Why not have these read by an actor? Or even me- I know where the stresses go in English.

@brucekuehn4031

6 ай бұрын

No one can read out loud anymore? This voice sounds like he is a mortician.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will improve for future videos

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

I always thought the quote about your brains falling out was from Bertrand Russell.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

We will check

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

I especially love the natural sounding AI voice

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@m3photo726

6 ай бұрын

⁠@@Open-QuoteThis is not a case of learning but rather an initial “couldn’t care” approach, insulting the author in the process. Not paying a human narrator is a cheap attitude that won’t be solved by a spineless “will improve” reply.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Great quotes, horrendous presentation

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

It's such a shame the voice used on this takes out the joy of these great quotes.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@philb4462

Ай бұрын

@@Open-Quote Better, but it still sounds more like a documentary than an entertainer.

I miss him. One of the greatest minds of the 20th century.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

He was indeed

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

It's so lovely. Just looking at it is healing. nice to meet you. It is an honor to have such a good relationship. I want to hold your precious hand ?? and go to the end. Please enjoy watching your precious video and cheering for it. New Friend Here, Hope Your Cooperation.

I thought that quote at 2:31 was by W. C. Fields.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. It looks like this quote is sometimes associated to W.C. Fields and sometimes to Groucho Marx. The challenge of quotes is to identify the first author.

Who can top him not many if any.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

We agree

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

Watch this with the volume OFF

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Haha, he saw wokeness coming: "Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out."

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

This is a good one

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

Speed up this video if you want to watch it -- It sounds like a snail is reading it.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Ridiculous, not allowing Groucho his voice

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

Wise word read by AI.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Proof that AI can make ANYTHING sound stupid. Very poor comic delivery. 🌟

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. We will improve for future videos.

@mistymeaner1753

6 ай бұрын

Just find someone who can read! A real person! You can't have AI deliver comedy quotations. It's just a ridiculous idea, and an insult to every comedian and storyteller since Mark Twain. Don't lean on this AI crutch. It can't be this fuckin hard to find a human being who can read short sentences. This can't be.

@danstrayer111

6 ай бұрын

@@mistymeaner1753 And, for someone like Groucho Marx, there must be hundreds of people who can mimmic his voice. The robotic voice for this and hundreds of other videos is a ridiculous turn-off.

@mistymeaner1753

6 ай бұрын

@@danstrayer111 I HATE that shit! Bogus as fuck!

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Groucho’s wrong. I had no plan to watch this video.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

We are glad you did it

@roberthughes9856

6 ай бұрын

You also cannot start a plan without a plan. Once you plan to do something then you have a plan to start planning to do something so you had a plan to plan. If you have no plan to start planning then you do not have, and will not have, a plan and will not begin planning so not having a plan to plan means you don't plan in the future. I'll go away now.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html

If you are not lucky enough to have heard and seen Groucho on TV, please watch some videos of him, especially of his game show, "You Bet Your Life". Having seen Groucho on TV, I can see and hear him in my mind as I read the quotes in the video. It's best to mute this video and just read the quotes, cause the narrator terrible.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comments. We are still learning and wish to improve for future videos

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

It's wonderful that these quotes are so witty and insightful, that they are still slightly funny when voiced by an AI actor that sounds like putty!

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

The voice sounds like a depressed robot: monotonous in tone, volume, speed, emphasis….

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

too bod someone couldn't narrate this. Just plain lazy.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will improve for future videos

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

horrible AI voice

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for your comment. This is a new channel and we keep learning. We wish to improve for future videos.

@GregZO6

6 ай бұрын

​@@Open-Quote Goodness, I doubt you will ever learn enough to do justice to this! "Have a nice day"

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

We will try to improve. Groucho was such a brilliant guy, we may not be able to do him justice

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

The commentary is despicable.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

The robot voice absolutely sucks 😡

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

He's good. Really good. But not as good as Yogi Berra.

@Open-Quote

6 ай бұрын

Agreed he is good

Great quotes ruined.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

Delivery is all wrong. He’s butchering it

OMG what a horrible voice for Groucho quotes! Thumbs down.

@Open-Quote

Ай бұрын

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZJqOy5SPZ5DImKg.html We listened to your comment. Thanks