Five Gifts of Codependency It's Not All Bad!
Counselor Carl (serenityonlinetherapy.com) explains that the majority of his clients suffer from anxiety and depression because of their codependency, so they must make changes to live a healthier life. However, not everything codependents learned growing up in dysfunction is bad. They also learned valuable skills from years of people pleasing and being highly sensitive to the needs of others, which should not be condemned but rather cherished and refined in recovery.
Пікірлер: 74
This whole series has helped me very much. It's been a tough year and at 51 I'm surprised how hard it's been. You have a really kind, sincere voice too. Thank you~
@Serenityonlinetherapy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Val. I'm glad you found my videos helpful. Best wishes in your recovery.
Where is the love button when I need one?! Excellent points to bring Codependency a positive twist, but number 4 hit me hard, I call it: " high tolerance to bullshit" and I've been struggling with this one so much and it encompasses all of the codependent trait: people pleasing, can't say "no", trying to help others at own expense at times, putting the needs of others above my own, lack of healthy boundaries, and ultimately feeling taken advantage of or used. Very good video!
👍 thank you I always tend to hear how bad I am becuz I am codependent. Nice to hear a good thing.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Codependency cause much pain, but I think codependents get a bad rap. They are well-intentioned, wonderful people.
I was codependent. Once you understand what you are and how to heal... It feels like a new life. I don't care anymore if people like me or not. I don't let people in my life anymore who don't respect me. Wish I knew this before I wouldn't have waisted so much time with wrong Partner. Hope this Video helps many people to get out of codependency. 🙏❤️
A beautiful message for beautiful people 💛🌻
@Serenityonlinetherapy
5 жыл бұрын
I agree!
Thank you. I have isolated myself because I do not want people take advantage of this and I am so confused sometimes. Because I have become so cold to protect myself but it is not me. Now I know that is not that bad if I learn to love myself and say no without feeling guilty.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Aimin, I've glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes in your recovery!
I married a man exactly like my narcisstic unavailable parents and then had 2 adult children and they act exactly like these parents and their Dad. I tried to fix these kids, how did they turn out like this. Now I know they cant love me, I have to search for those healthy people who can love me. It has been so hard to face this Reality but I am doing it now, very painful. I met my 2nd husband, a healthy person who can love me and reaching out to friends who can love me. It was devastating my adult children turned out like they have but better to know so I can make some good choices for taking care of me. Thank you, this is the first time I have heard you, very helpful, you tell it like it is. My adult children have been so upsetting to me but I can't change it.
🥺😭😭😭For the first time I feel cherished after watching a video. Thanks Counselor Carl.💙💫✨
Dr. Carl- you rock!!! Thank you so much!! 😄🙏💕
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
sleeping purpletiger You're welcome! And thank you.
Counselor Carl: You are AWESOME! Thank you for blessing me!! I came across your channel and have begun listening to all of your videos & sharing w/my friends. Your videos are the BOMB! May the Lord bless you 😊
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
Mo Sim. Thank you! Best wishes!
@stephanygoodpasture5541
4 жыл бұрын
Yes what a blessing to be led to you! It is very refreshing to hear this positive message
Carl.. thank you for pointing out those wonderful gifts we possess! It gives me great hope that despite the struggles we have so much to offer in getting healthy..
@Serenityonlinetherapy
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, Stephany, codependents are wonderful people with good intentions and a big heart. They just need to bring that same compassion to themselves. And they are usually competent and talented individuals as well.
This gave me hope. Thank you
@Serenityonlinetherapy
5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
Thank you Karl
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
I remember once while studying I got stressed and got sever headache when helping my friend finishing her assignments, even though I had finished my own assignments. Learned my lesson that day.
I've missed you Counselor Carl. I found this video funny and a clear view of how I have improved since I first found your channel. Thank you for what you do.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome! This is a video I just needed to do.
@LoriStrussgenarts
6 жыл бұрын
I agree. You understand because you are one of us. We are so grateful to you for championing what we are and who we can become. Thank you!
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You put a smile on my face!
@LoriStrussgenarts
6 жыл бұрын
As you do for all of us! #grateful #recoveringcodependent
I never understood why everyone say codependency is so bad treating it like a decease... I see it as a good thing and completely normal to trust rely on your loved ones. It is only a problem when when egoistic psychopaths takes advantage of it. It is not the codependent that is sick, it is those the take advantage of it and abuses the codependent...
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
There's more to the story than that. Codependents devalue their own needs and feelings, which can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and resentment. Codependents are good people but codependency is not a healthy way to interact with others.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
@@semp223 Any healthy relationship requires the needs of both being met in a reasonably sufficient way. "Self-sacrifice" should not be a one way street. Together you need to work on solutions that meet both of your needs. And, yes, neither of you will always get everything you want, but it is balanced, not a one way street where you do all the giving and he does all the taking.
@deniser3891
Жыл бұрын
Yes!!!! Exactly I believe that we are already so so so selfish by sin nature and I truly don't believe that there is such thing, I hate the fact that at this day and age they treat this as a disease last night was my first time hearing about this, my sister gave me a book about it I guess bc she thinks I'm like that but I don't like the fact that is so look down and it's a weakness! Come on! I believe in grace and power of forgiveness bc when I was without Christ I was so miserable and when I found Him and realized what a wretched sinner I am His love taught me so much and it helped me to become more kind, have compassion for others rather than putting my own needs first, I still take good care of me by the way and really that's not co depency that's true love when you give without expectations. This world is becoming so wicked I'm so saddened that this is actually a thing that is being taught by society.
This is so helpful, listening again, yes I have searched and found people who can love, friends and neighbors and of course my husband and I am not trying to win people over who can't love me. Thank you for this video.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Sunshine! I wish you the best!
Beautiful, helpful as always. Thanks Carl, you make a difference in peoples lives.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Lexi! And you're welcome!
Thank you for saying all this Carl. Put many things in perspective.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome! Best wishes!
So glad you made this video because I was worried about this codependent traits like well do I need to stop being all these things? Because they’re actually treats a value but I do like the fact you made the connection that now I need to use the skills for myself. I really value your videos and I’m grateful that you post these I wish you all the best in your practice.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
Hi, Katherine. I'm glad you found my videos helpful. I wish you the best in your journey to True Self!
so healing to read this one.
wow. you just gave me a whole new perspective.. my co dependency has been a problem in my love relationships and has caused me great pain... but, it helped me build a very successful business because of the traits you talked about... Now I am workiing on self care
@Serenityonlinetherapy
2 жыл бұрын
I wish you the best, Adele!
wow! so good! THANK YOU!
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
M.E. Altman You're welcome!
Thank you so much Carl.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
Жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
I’ve always wondered why co dependency has been looked down upon so much Hence why I find this video . I understand it is painful at times to be co dependant and in this day and times, you are a more vulnerable target for being taken care of but it all points to a lifetime of experiences good and bad and that’s ok. Live a life of experiences and look back upon them once you move in from the pain as great lessons in hindsight leaving beautiful memories.
Thank you for doing what you do. I had a really good insight from watching this video and am going to go and practice some self care.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Be a good friend to yourself as you navigate the learning curve of improved self-care.
Thank you 🙏🏽
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes!
thank you so much! 🙏
@Serenityonlinetherapy
4 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
Thank you for this video.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
Thank you! 🙏🏻
@Serenityonlinetherapy
2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
Thank you Carl for the video, I am slowly but steadily recovering from codependency and I needed this. I knew that I have to recover after knowing that codependency killed my dear father. Really appreciate all your videos :)
@Serenityonlinetherapy
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you! And best wishes on your journey to healing and growth!
come back to this again, be a good shopper, search for people who already know how to love. Us codependents need to read this, very helpful.
Gift number five is why Dr.Robert Rosenberg titled his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, which is actually the codependent and the narcissist being drawn to each other.
So advanced😍🙏
New subbie!!wow wow wow
Or if you kind of were the a****** in the relationship despite your partner being codependent I started with the girl being more co-dependent than me and I kind of liked it because for once I didn't have to chase.. But over time I felt like I drove her crazy and she loved me less and less.. and I freaked out about it. The girl that would look in my eyes with big huge puppy eyes back turned into someone who just didn't care.. and I could see it no matter what she said. So I did the worst possible thing and overreacted Am I a narcissist? If I'm a narcissist why do I hate myself
I subconsciously want broken people without knowing it but at the same time if someone's not broken then they won't need me Like if they're the normal one why would they have me around
That’s me
Hurry up and get an opening so I can have some of your therapy! :)
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry I don't have any openings now.
@Ellen-jl2fx
3 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thats ok, just know that you are great and I would love to work with you some day.
@Serenityonlinetherapy
3 жыл бұрын
@@Ellen-jl2fx Thank you, Ellen.
I love you video's but I've grown very bitter and have Become an asshole to every body and i don't want to be like this. I do good for awhile then i forget meds and become a raging asshole it doesn't matter work out meditate yoga I can't sleep and then i don't eat it's a circle over.
What if your true self is a curmudgeon now