💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

@scottlally8374

2 жыл бұрын

Next song by citizen soldier called stronger than my strom can you react to that music video please and hello from Ireland 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪

@ski2k2000

2 жыл бұрын

Nearly didn't make it through last weekend. Called my (adult) daughter and asked her to take me to the hospital, or I might not make it to Monday. Spent 3 1/2 days in the ER. Feeling better now. If possible, please react to "How Will I Laugh Tomorrow (When I Can't Even Smile Today)? By Suicidal Tendencies. The long version please. The official video loses a verse that I feel is important. Thanks, Amanda. Keep up your great work!

@danbest8669

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for making this video.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

@@ski2k2000 I am so proud of you for doing what you needed to do to keep yourself safe. I'm happy you're still here. It's on my general list.

@jamessteinhoff7711

2 жыл бұрын

It's called the tragic truth it's about his demons and alcoholism

I'm glad you got to this one. The look of relief on your face when they made it out alive hit me just as much as this video does every single time.

I survived 3 attempted suicides. I was lucky each time. This video is probably the most accurate depiction of suicide in terms of methods and how it feels when you're about to do it and I like how it emphasizes just how important a person's support system is in how they can survive it.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I'm VERY happy you're still here. Keep fighting!

@janedoex1398

2 жыл бұрын

I am glad you are still here, even though I don't know you and you don't know me, but every single one who doesn't give in is a total WIN in this crazy, ongoing struggle. 🧡

@unluckydiablo9502

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. Been fighting mental health since I was a kid. Now I try to help others, because I know what they're going through. Please do the same, we have a unique perspective and we can help people with it.

@johnmutz9919

2 жыл бұрын

💪 be strong, troubles will come and they will pass

@azraelselvmord3650

11 ай бұрын

4 for me. I have accepted that I'll continue to exist. Until I won't.

Thank you so much for reacting to this song. This song has saved my life many times and is extremely personal to me. Right now I'm going through a lot in my personal life with my mental health and really struggling. This reaction really did a lot for me. So again I want to say thank you for making this video.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Don't try to struggle alone. Reach out to myself or someone here in the comments. We've got your back.

@poesenpai6475

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda thank you so much that really means a lot. Luckily for me I have a great support system.

@darkblightballas7445

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda when it comes to addiction or depression I deal with it the best way and most responsible way possible go God of War on their ass 😈 show them that I am not afraid of them anymore

@skullyradford9746

2 жыл бұрын

Yes i agree this song say everything right how i feel in life

@darkblightballas7445

2 жыл бұрын

@@janedoex1398 probably a good idea to clarify that that method that I shared is not for everyone that's just me though I do apologize if they accept you

While I was growing up I never felt I was good enough for anything or anyone, then, I found music and music saved my life. It allowed me to deal and defeat all those demons that plagued me. I still have days that are rough but, my new mantra is “ I woke up today, so today is a good day!” Keep doing what you are doing Amanda!! You are showing a lot of people old and young that there is hope and that life is so worth it! It’s a gift!! I’m great full for my bad days because they remind how amazing the good days are!!!

My interpretation as young suicide survivor is that the solid ground was or should have been their family life. Both felt that they could never be or live up to what their parents wanted them to be. The girl didn't hate her body image, she knew she was beautiful, but she did blame her good looks for the problems she was having. "Cutters" generally do it because the pain lets them know they are alive or as a cry for attention. The boy was probably a geek with few social skills, so he felt he didn't fit in and was bullied because he was different. There were two animation sequences, the girl saw the monsters as coming out of her computer and ripping her heart out, the boy saw the monsters as entering his body and eating him from the inside out. Method of choice for women is often drugs, and with men guns or hanging.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

You know, it's funny... I was just thinking almost that exact same thing before I read this... You know, the method is also a type of communication as well... Cutters such as myself, get so numb they feel they can't feel anything anymore... Sometimes, the pain is our only companion... Eventually, we get so lonely, we just cut so deep we bleed out and die... The gun... Also drug overdose, is usually a result of bullying or abuse... You have been hurt so bad, you go one of two ways, either violently, with the gun, or you just want the pain to go away so bad, and go away forever, you use drugs... Hanging and jumping is a sign of worthlessness... You feel so worthless you don't care anymore... Sorta like a disrespect to one's self... And death by car/truck/train, or suicide by cop etc, is more of a vengeful type of suicide... You are so angry with life, you end it at the cost of altering people around you... So you jump a n front of that car/truck/train etc, or force a cop to shoot you and kill you, knowing it will forever alter that other person's life... I too am a suicide survivor, and I took to studying psychology, and that's how I came up with these theories...

I am writing this only 31 seconds into your video. I know this group and this song very well. While I'm 70, my struggle began in my teens, and I still struggle daily with depression and thoughts of suicide. As I said, I know this song and was worried about how it would affect you. I hope it wasn't too hard to watch, remember, you aren't alone.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

You aren't either. Reach out any time!

@janedoex1398

2 жыл бұрын

I don't know what to say .... Maybe that you must be a very strong person, who knows that you don't want to die, but doesn't know how to life easily with all the sh!t that comes with mental and or physical illness(es). ( I assume, I DON'T PRETEND I KNOW YOUR REASONS !) ( I have "only" almost 3 decades on my calender so far....) You have my respect and I hope I can learn better coping mechanisms , because atm I'm not in a good place. I hope I didn't offend or trigger you in any way , I was just trying to show my respect for fighting this fight for so long. I guess I have a lot to learn, still and foremost I HAVE TO TRY HARDER. THANK YOU.

@roguemerlin1969

2 жыл бұрын

@@janedoex1398 I know it is hard, just remember that you are not alone. Take it one day at a time, try not to dwell on the past which can't be changed, and set short term goals that are within your reach and celebrate when you accomplish them. It doesn't have to be anything big, clean the house, buy groceries, do the laundry, I have to consciously do these things or I might not for weeks. I'm not doing good, but I'm doing better. Even when it is at it's darkest, there is always a little light if you look for it. I don't know if any of this will help you, but just know that you are not alone.

@janedoex1398

2 жыл бұрын

@@roguemerlin1969 Omg , thank you! That's what I struggle most with .....the past. I can't let it go , because if I get a real trigger, my BPD will take over and I'll either go on a verbal rampage on who ever hurt me in the past , or - more likely - on myself, physically in every way I can and mentally of course. Or if ( the first one which is more likely the more someone pressures me ) explode on someone I care deeply, the harder I go down on myself, like trying dance moves while a train comes in . ( and DUH....nobody ever cared) so I try even harder.....It's just so .....effed up.

Never fails, such a genuine reaction! I love your content. Keep it up!

This video makes people have such a visceral reaction when they first watch it. When I first saw it I didn’t even know I was crying until I felt on my shirt then I spent 5 minutes just balling my eyes out this song needs to be heard. I suffer from depression several times in my life but it’s not too severe but I’ve had some really awful days but my worst was short because my mom was there and pulled me out of my own head I love her even more for that. Reach out there is someone who will listen.

I've been writing my memoirs like I told you. I have been watching your mental health videos and you are a ray of sunshine punching through the darkness in my life. Again I thank you so much.

I always come back to your channel because while I try not to withhold my emotions in general. These videos always cause me to let out emotions I didn't even know I was keeping in

thank you I realy needed this just to cry it all out, this song keept me from doing it and it is really close to my heart. Thank you for everything you do you are a hero

This song is awesome so are Five Finger Death Punch. Never Enough is another great 5FDP song. A lot of their songs hold a lot of value for people. For me I tried to long to be what everyone wanted me to be. Happy-go-lucky kind of think. Ended up going on a three month long drug and alcohol binge. Now I'm happy-ish with who I am. Never be completely happy though, as a lot of people can be.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Nobody is happy all the time! You're doing great!

@slap_A_flamingo

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda Thank you. Love your channel. Keep up the good work.

This video hits me hard. Last year my 17 year old nephew took his own life. We never saw the warning signs until afterward. Please continue your advocacy for those battling depression and suicide. It is so important!

One stranger can save a life. Thank you Erin. Your random hug and you just looking into my eyes saying "it just looked like you could use a friendly hug" made me want to survive. Without you I would have never made it through high school. Hug somebody. It does save lives.

May your light only grow stronger. Godspeed young lady.

I’ve been here. Thanks for all your work! I’m much better! There is always a way to find happiness 🤘

I was bullied as a kid, by the time I hit middle school I was the biggest toughest kid on the block. Kids who were say different, or were outcast the got bullied always came to me. I became a sheepdog. I started kicking ass, standing for those who couldn't stand. Bullying ended quickly. Then after I graduated I joined the US Army. And continued my journey

@johnbubba1143

2 жыл бұрын

Sheepdog forever bro. Wolf hunters til the end.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

That should be your military callsign... "Sheepdog"... I like it...

She is called the queen of goosebumps, a unique voice - contralto with polyphonic overtones. "Together with her tessitura, it identifies her potential voice type as dramatic contralto, the deepest, darkest, and most powerful contralto voice." (Wikipedia about Diana) Full vocal range - 4 octaves. The most famous hit of the king of rock 'n' roll in an unrivaled gorgeous, phenomenal performance by Diana Ankudinova ( 18 y.o.) Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley / DARK VERSION cover) Please react to Diana Ankudinova ! Last year, the number of reactions to Diana exceeded the number of 10 thousand reactions (in my playlist section there are two playlists of 5 thousand reactions each). This year, 1,500 more reactions have been added to them.

@monolit73

2 жыл бұрын

Can’t Help Falling in Love Extended version re-released on Diana's official channel kzread.info/dash/bejne/f2Gu0KZvga7Ioso.html

@vdubrovskiy9092

2 жыл бұрын

Diana Ankudinova is an amazing singer,her voice fascinates!

Thank you for you being you, like I commented before I'm a purple heart disabled veteran that struggled for years, there song Never Enough was the first part of my healing and positive outlook. Keep up your amazing work. Namaste my friend.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Namaste beautiful soul.

Amanda i have watched everything you have done have told my story i had to pause and i can't watch this one but i am saving when i am in a much better headspace. We have to prioritize our mental health. Love everything you stand for and i am in one way or another in the same boat as you. My attempts are still hard but i push myself to help others as a way to in turn help myself and acts as a way of forgiving myself.

@MentalAmanda

29 күн бұрын

We are here for you! Much love!

Music is one of the most powerful forms of expressing major difficulties in life. Even though I haven’t struggled with suicidal thoughts this song really floods you with the emotion of realism.

You are such a beautiful soul. Seeing how much you care about people and how much you want to help people has warmed my heart. Because of you i found the strength to keep fighting. I struggle everyday with all the pain ive endured in my life. About 3 years ago I saw my pregnant fiance get her throat cut in front of me, she bled to death in my arms. The regret of not being able to save her or my child everyday haunts me. Thank you for saving me.

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

What a horrific thing to witness and a heavy burden to bear. Just know that your response to this trauma is normal! Your brain is doing exactly what it is meant to do! I would highly suggest looking into a professional who specializes in trauma or modalities that specifically target trauma like EMDR. We're here for you.

@rocketwelch

Жыл бұрын

@MentalAmanda Thank you. I'm doing much better. I got my meds situated and see a therapist at least once a month.

I love your reactions. It helps me too with my mental health. Best wishes from Germany! 🥰

This song got me through a lot of my shit and Most 5FDP songs helped so much, Their music is beautiful

I love this song. One my favourite song. Thank you for reaching to this song. I love this song. 🙏🔥💪🤘

I've been bullied at home and school, and I took a gun to school. Shot myself in the head, and woke up thinking 'How the Hell am I still Alive? Why won't this life just f*cken end?' I was tired and sick of it all. I was hurting deep within my soul. It was like no one understood me. I was constantly getting yelled out by my parent, until I just snapped. It wasn't until like 5 years later that I really started to appreciate that I survived the bullet to the head. Ever since then I've always tried to help people if I could, and not let them make the mistake I did. While I'm still alive; I've lost my speech, my right arm is useless, and I get easily distracted. I tried to kill myself on January 24, 2007. That date will forever be etched into my memory. I support your work 100% Amanda. But just wished there would've been someone there for me to help me see that suicide is NOT the solution. Keep up the good work.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

What a powerful story! While I'm very sorry for all you lost and they pain you felt that led you there, I am SO happy that you're still here and can now speak out.

@GreathSentina

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda so am I. I had to relearn to eat, still having trouble with drinking liquids. But everything is good with me as far as suicidal thoughts.

You're a great person Amanda! I stumbled on your channel.... And I'm glad I did! To all Amanda's Subscribers have a blessed beautiful life. Live your lives your way be good to yourselves and each other. Anyone negative Screw them! Don't let their issues affect you. And I've been there for a multitude of reasons but I know I'd destroy the people I love so I push through. Know you matter even if you don't think so. Everyone have a awesome blessed life.

Just discovered your channel and you seem to be an amazing human being Amanda, thank you for that! Subbed :)

I get thrown back to middle school and high school. Everything was so tough to live through every day being picked on. It threw me into a really dark place. The only thing that’s stopped me from getting past the thinking stage was; I don’t want to put my family through that kind of pain. It’s still hard 20 or so years later. I’m 34 but I still have so much trouble getting my head out of that mindset. 🎶 I’m never not going to cry to this song. 🎶 Thank you for what you’re doing and this channel. 🦋💕

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

It is HARD to rewire our brains and those tapes that get stuck in there, but it is doable. I believe in you and I'm happy you've kept fighting.

Hi Amanda 👋 This will be my first time hearing this song too. Exciting!❤

I am experiencing sever depression due to my wife's recent surprise death, and this song encapsulates a lot of my daily thoughts...Thanks for your Kind words...

I lost a friend to suicide just under a year ago, last time I saw him was March 23rd 2021. We didn’t see it coming, and it’s hard not to blame one’s self for just, not reaching out a little more, but I was a friend, and I was there, and at this point, I can live with knowing I was able to make him smile. Make someone smile, be a friend, and check in on your friends a little more often.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

When someone is in that place, they become really good at hiding it. Beneath the pain, he knew you cared. I hope he rests in peace and I'm glad you're healing.

Hi Amanda. I don’t know how long i would be here if it weren’t for this. I am a veteran did some horrible things in combat just to survive, when I got back lost my son due to my stupidity, so yes I do consider where I’m at to be borrowed time. It’s a constant fight just to get up every day, but I keep going. I do want to drink again just to numb the memories I have about what I have done. Thank you for just speaking about things that no one else has.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

When we know better, we do better. We've all done unspeakable things, whether in action or in words. You're still worthy of love. I appreciate your sacrifice and I forgive you for not being perfect. Please forgive yourself.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

You are a soldier, a worrier... You did what you had to to survive, we all have... That don't don't define who you are... You are a man, you are human... We all fuck up... That's what makes us so great... We may not like our decisions, but we have to put them behind us and move on... You may not man's soldier anymore, but you're God's soldier now, and we got work to do... So strap up your boots and keep pushing forward... And remember, as us "knuckleheads would say, "I got your six"... I salute you brother, stay up, stay strong, and may may God bless you...

I was at their concert this summer and they played this song... I cried soo much this song always hits home.

I have that friend that just showed up in time. So this song hits home and I have always loved it

Thank you for reacting to this I mentioned it in the last video

After several years of abuse when I was younger, leading into belittling from terrible drunk Ex. I learned that kindness goes along way. And this world doesn't have enough at this present time... Great video, reaction. If you want another perspective. Check out.. Badflower "Ghost". Either official video or acoustic 🙏

Thank you so much for doing this song, like I said on a previous comment, this video is so Intense and poignant. Edit: I've been that friend..

This song and video still makes me tear up. It really captured my mental health struggles and showed several scenes that I personally went through. Another great song I recommend is Jenny by Nothing More. You’ll most likely love it

I love your reaction to such a powerful song.

Amanda, I appreciate you reacting to this song. It brings back unfortunate memories of bullies I had throughout school. Unfortunately, i wasn't able to speak up to anyone. I realized later that i am Autistic and probably had a lot to do with me not speaking up. I can see where i was different, and they fed off of that and made fun of me. I didn't know how to defend myself and i guess i dealt with all of this by locking myself in my room after school and crying for however long and sometimes played music to drown out my crying and sometimes i didn't maybe hoping one of my parents would hear me and ask if anything was wrong, but that never happened and later in years when i asked my mom about it, she thought i wanted to be left alone. Really, for hours each weekday until dinner time? This was throughout 7th to 10th grade. I have tried therapy and medication for depression. Finally using TMS treatment has helped lower my anxiety and recently did this for depression. Lets see how it goes. TMS is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Using magnetic fields on the brain in certain areas. At least no more drugs and Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome that i suffered with. That is where certain psychotropic drugs affected you, even if they are out of your system and causes bad side effects like heightened anxiety. It messes up your nervous system. I would recommend you listen to another song by a group called Amity Affliction and the song is All Fu**ed Up. Tgat video is extremely graphic and powerful. All about mental health and suicide as the one singer suffers with depression. Another song of theirs is Like Love. Actually, so many of their songs are good. Another song is Don't Lean on Me. You wont regret listening to them. Thanks again for sharing this. ❤

@MentalAmanda

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm so happy that you have found a treatment that helps and people to listen 💖

ty for being here much love to you, you help me a lot ty

You have done a lot to help a lot people, we all need to help each other.

I haven't cried so hard in years, the relief of that 'ONE' human touch...

I also recently requested this in the comments of one of your recent vids. This shows how both physical bullying and cyberbullying (along with probs at home, etc.) can both result in the same tragic ending. This vid actually gets a lot of like the warning signs p accurate, like giving away personal things like the console and the games and stuff in the box he gave the friend. You could even tell his friend felt weird about taking it but he said it was okay. Also, they got the method p accurate too. Statistically, women attempt more, but men actually commit more suicide. That's bc men will usually choose more lethal methods than women (e.g. a bullet, gas poisoning, etc. v. something like OD'ing)

I love your expression and energy when you put on the music

Thank you for the great video. All parts of this video speak to me a lot. But one thing i have never spoken about is that I struggle with body image. I find it difficult to speak about, like it’s not something men can struggle with. But it’s always there, even at the times when i’m having a rough time. I just always see myself as the small, malnourished kid i was in the last. I’m so ashamed of how i looked in the past, that i still see myself exactly the same when i look in the mirror. Even though I packed on a lot of lean mass… just felt like sharing this. It’s one of the things i never talked about. But somehow this community here makes me feel less scared to talk about things.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

It sure is something LOTS of men struggle with! You aren't alone and you are beautiful!

@justsomeawesomeperson6396

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda thank you

Watching this really made me get emotional. I don't really have friends left, but this definitely helped show me a side of this video I didn't see before.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I'll be your friend!

@LOSTINTH3ST4T1C

2 жыл бұрын

Appreciate you! Love your content. I'm approaching 4 years sober and it's great finding content that is relatable

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

@@LOSTINTH3ST4T1C Appreciate you too. Very proud of you!

This channel needs more views please share she's a life saver

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks love!

First time I heard this song, I bawled my eyes out...because I know the pain of not only being bullied, but also how it feels like you're alone in the dark. If you're struggling, I tell you this: You're not alone. You never were. You never have been. If you need help, ask for it. As my grandma (RIP) told me when I was growing up, "A closed mouth doesn't get fed." Most importantly, keep fighting. A permanent solution for a temporary problem is not the way. "When you can't run, you walk. When you can't walk, you crawl. When you can't crawl...when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you." ~ Firefly ep. 11, "The Message" "You got 13 reasons for you to go away? Here's 3 more, for why you gotta stay." ~ Raoul Kerr, Bloodywood, Jee Veerey If you're struggling, I know your pain. Every day you wake up, is another battle won. When you find yourself drowning in the darkened, blackened rising, hold on to your humanity and fight -- because you, dear reader, are a human being. You are worth your life -- of which we only get one, to see this world and how beautiful and amazing it is, and how beautiful and amazing it can be. So live your best life, despite the naysayers -- because they aren't living your life, _you_ are. People who are trying to bring you down? They are miserable and unhappy -- and misery loves company. Realize, lastly, you always have a choice -- whether it's what you choose to believe, who your friends are, and even if negative people affect you. You have that power -- so use it, and make your own life worth living. You've got this -- but don't give up. Least of all, on yourself. You're stronger than you look. And know that there are those of us who understands, who have gone through what you are. You just have to find us. Stay safe, and be well. If you're struggling...even if we never meet in person...know that I love you.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

This... This is probably the BEST long comment I ever read... So true...

@isaiahwelch8066

2 жыл бұрын

@@therayven3147 : If what I have said here has made a difference in your life, and helped you, then I have accomplished what I set out to do: Convincing others that ending their lives is not the way to feel better, to end the pain. Pain is a motivator -- you just have to find a way to turn how badly you hurt, into an energy and strength that no one can overcome. Use your hurt, your pain, to fuel your purpose. To push you. To remind you. And when the time comes, to make your victory all the sweeter. To make the exhilaration you feel so strong, that it ripples out into the world, and others can feel it. Because I promise you: If you succeed, those who feel your vibrational energy will come. After all, you came. You read what I wrote. Now, _use it,_ and be better tomorrow than you are today. Because if you wish to travel a thousand miles from where you are now, it all begins with but a single step. But you still have to move your feet, and move forward. I can only show you the door; you have to be the one to walk through it. So make that first step -- and realize that your story is only begun, and that you are the author. You determine the ending. You have the power. So write a book about your life, that nobody can put down. Because all it takes, is will. Good luck!

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

@@isaiahwelch8066 man, what you say is so true bro... I want to write... To write songs, poems, spoken word... I just don't know where to start... It's hard... I just don't know, and I'm horrible with words...

@isaiahwelch8066

2 жыл бұрын

@@therayven3147 : You know what Eminem would read constantly, before he got big? Dictionaries and thesauruses. So he would know the meanings of words. As for not knowing where to start, just...start. Maybe even for inspiration, watch The Dead Poet's Society.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

@@isaiahwelch8066 yeah, I may have to do that...

I have been suffering from major depression since I was 5. When I was 25 I was so tired of the suffering I was going through and I started having suicidal thoughts. Every time I tried to kill myself I'd end thinking about my friends and no matter how much I hated myself and the suffering I was going through I couldn't kill myself knowing what it would do to them. I am 35 now and things are finally looking hopeful and for the first time I am grateful I didn't take my own life.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I am so happy for you! You're a survivor!

Being bullied saved my life. I stood up and said no and it made me a stronger person.

I believe I've already recommended "Make it stop" by Rise Against but this group does a lot for those struggling with things from bullying to abuse. This song is just a great encapsulation of this entire conversation.

4 years ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone who i considered a brother. I survived numerous attempts. 2 years ago, I enlisted in the Marines, I thought that by leaving my old life behind, and trying to start new would make the demons go away. They went away for a while, but they came back, and they came back with a vengeance. I thankfully survived my last attempt, i was stationed on Camp Lejuene, and the situation i was in only made everything worse. I'm so thankful that my attempt failed, because I lived, I'm now married to my best friend, and we're expecting a child in May! For anyone who's struggling, keep fighting, don't give in.

I don't like bullies, if I saw someone bullied I would step in and break it up, hardly ever used violence, sometimes used humor. But I have a feeling like I have to save everyone.

I was in Fallujah in 2004, came home May 13th 2005. I was done with war but war certainly wasn't done with me. It was to the point I even considered reenlisting because even though I was home it never felt like home. Then I got the call that one of my brothers from my platoon had killed himself I hit my knees & I had just felt that I let him, myself & everyone around me down. Started blaming myself for everything swooped low, below rock bottom low & woke up hungover with a loaded pistol on my chest having zero memory of the night before. My mom finally convinced me to start opening up about my experiences after three years I had the guts & courage to tell her about what I was dealing with & I couldn't even look her in the eyes. She was so pale, the whole time I kept telling myself "don't fold, don't fold, don't fold" she became my reason, her & my whole family, the reason to stand & fight. Now my daughters are my lightbringers they're the good in my life. I still have some occasions where I wake up in the middle night smelling gunpowder & diesel but good thing my Mira knows something is wrong when she hears me. Sits on the couch with me for hours❤

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

First of all, thank you for your sacrifice. Second, I am SO happy that you are still here and finding healing.

I've survived multiple suicide attempts and rn im homeless but have a job but I'm also on parole and everyday I feel like things won't work out n I'm always in my head and feel like there's no one truly there for me. Thanks for the video so glad u enjoy 5FDP ur videos are helpful

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

Now that you're here, you'll never be alone. We've got your back. While your situation isn't ideal, it sounds like you have things going your way and are moving in the right direction. Build on that!

@jessehartman6925

Жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda thank you so much

they have amazing songs ^^ btw long time no see Amanda

I have my problems and tons of them but i'm just happy to be here and to try to send msgs to others. Keep up the fight \o/

Very good reaction. I also reacted to this video and it said this video suggests my video the most so i decided to check it out i cant even think about the video coming down without my eyes watering.I was bullied at every school i went to i even changed schools to try and stop but i guess it was me becouse it never did then id go home and my brother and step dad would take over I almost ended my life at 17 but moved out on my 18th birthday and life has gotten better since then thank you for your reaction to this.

@MentalAmanda

9 ай бұрын

So happy you are still here!

@pi1872

9 ай бұрын

@@MentalAmanda thank you

Amanda, I'm going through a major depression right now. This song really hits home... I was and am pick on because I'm half blind. I've almost killed myself a few times because it got so bad... all I want is to be normal... to be liked and loved for being me...

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Being normal is being average. Average is like being a C student. I'm not normal and realized I never want to be. You are worthy and amazing and I'd be happy to talk to you if you need a friend.

@neeleym00481977

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda actually that would be nice. I don't have very many friends... My name is Michael, nice to meet you...

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

@@neeleym00481977 nice to meet you!

This time of the year is so difficult for me. February 26th, my mom would have been 85 years old this year. She died 4 years ago, my best friend. What hurts the most is she died 5 days after her birthday, so March 3rd is the day I lost her. I was so depressed my body reacted badly. I ended up with an intestinal blockage that ruptured. Emergency surgery saved my life, but then weeks later I developed a massive internal infection. Another surgery saved me but I had to spend 5 weeks in a hospital bed before I was allowed to get up to allow the wound to heal. I had to learn to walk again since my legs atrophied. I was in the hospital nearly a full year recovering. I didn't get to mourn the loss of my mom before I had to fight to survive. Now every year I have to remember her dying in my arms at home since she was on hospice. Then the pain I endured the year I was sick. My body is healthy but my spirit is not. I have scars on my belly that are horrible and I'm embarrassed to have anyone see them. I have no friends or family I can talk to about my pain. So every year I get depressed and lonely. But I fight, I fight every damn day to stay here. I only hope that time will lessen the pain, but so far it has not.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Anniversaries can be SO difficult. I hope that you felt her love that day. I spend the anniversaries of my parents deaths now writing in my memory journal about them and doing humanitarian work in their memories. You're a fighter. Keep fighting!

I've never tried, or really even seriously thought about doing it. But there have certainly been countless days where I wished I was dead or that everyone would just be better off without me. I can hardly watch this video because I'm just bawling through the entire thing. But I'm in full agreement that this video should be shown in schools because the message is just that powerful. All it takes is one kind word, one kind gesture and you can change someone's life. Even if you never know you did it

Another really good song that touches on this same topic that you should consider giving a listen is Make It Stop by Rise Against. Both have offered me a great deal aid in dealing with my mental health issues.

Just a question for the people in the comments. How did you take the first that first step to getting mental health help? I try to but then a start thinking that my problems aren't as bad as other people's so I just coward away from getting help and end up in this cycle of needing help but not knowing how to commit to the first step in getting it.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I actually have a free 5 day challenge you can take that helps with those first steps: www.happinessboost.life I come into your inbox every day for five days and offer very attainable reflections and action steps!

April 11th 2022 will mark 2 years sense I survived my suicide attempt I was on life support for 10 hours I took 3 bottles of activate charcoal Witch saved my life after we knew I was going to live the doctor told me if they would have done not what they did I would have died I'm so grateful I lived watching Michigan's football beat Ohio State for the first time in 10 years last year them winning the big ten conference championship last year for the first time in 17 years and I found you Amanda and I'm so grateful I clicked on your Christmas truce reaction video your a true blessing I want you to know that the way I cope with mental illness is I make custom hoodies I just finished my mental health awareness honey. If you would like the photos of it, let me know how I can contact you and send them to you. Thank you so much for caring but people like me be given all of us a voice. You are a true honest blessing and I'm so happy there's people like you in this world who truly care. Like I said, you do save lives. You do give people like me a reason to continue so live You are beautiful. I love you ❤️

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely send me a pic, my email is in the video description. I have mental health merch too! I'm So proud of you and VERY happy you're still here!

My scars remind me where I have been they don't have to dictate where I'm going, I'm still here.

Thank you for speaking out about mental health

I’ve struggled with mental health since I was in middle school. I’m 28 now and still have demons in my head to this day. A song that sums up my battle is fell on black days by soundgarden. I’ve been on medication for depression for 5 years and face an uphill battle every day. Almost took my life in my first semester at college. I’m currently doing a job that I love and that helps with my battle. I definitely still feel depression lingering in the back of my mind and god knows when it will return.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

It never goes away entirely, we just learn to have a healthy relationship with our demons. Here if you ever need to talk!

Thank you very much for what you are doing. My youngest nephew committed suicide 3yrs ago. He was 27. I wish I knew he was suffering and could have helped him but i hadn't seen him in 8yrs. His first girlfriend was an older woman when he was 19 and he moved away with her. And his name was Jaime. I love him and miss him very much.

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

Jaime actually means "I love" in French! As someone who has been there, please know that he knew how much you cared beneath his darkness. I hope that Jaime finds peace and that you find strength.

@shawnsford7071

Жыл бұрын

@Mental Amanda Thank you very much. I didn't mention this but nephew Jaime's sister, my oldest niece, her name is Amanda also. And she's actually a social worker with her own practice. Don't tell me your middle name is Lynn!!...You're doing something very good on here!!

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

@@shawnsford7071 No it's not, that would be crazy!

To anyone who needs to see this the world is NOT a better place without you in it despite how you may feel in the moment you are LOVED so please keep pushing forward and don't hesitate to reach out to me or anyone in this comment section we will listen.

@MentalAmanda

13 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for being a beacon of light for those struggling!

I saved someone from suicide from another state by making a phone call. Under the right circumstances, a phone call is all you need to intervene.

As someone who was bullied, I defend against them now. I crack people up. I don't even know where it comes from. I also light people up. When I get the same in return, that's a beautiful thing. That's what I go for. No matter what, I will be remembered.

I've been here more then i want to admit.......being teased , picked on , bullied & loosing a girl who i loved to death due to a stupid choice n it nearly drove be over the edge , i almost made the most selfish decision i could of made , please please please if you have any feelings of hurting yourself or suicide contact the suicide hotline or reach out to someone and let it all out , cry , yell , scream but please do not hurt yourself or end your life

Amanda dear, I remember when you reacted to wrong side of heaven and this video was discussed. I worried whether you would be able to handle this video........kudos to you for being able to.

Thanks for being out there for people. Me included. 😢

Again....I've heard the song before and seen the video before....but your reactions crushed me because it made it real. I've dealt with a lot in my life....well I say dealt with but actually I've been through a lot and I've never dealt with it and that's probably why it keeps bubbling up.

I appreciate your reaction to this song I had a step brother kill himself in 2014 and my family never thought he would do anything like that I myself have had a moment where I was going to do it as well but remembering how many questions we had of why he did it stopped me I didn’t want to put my family through it again

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I hope that he rests in peace and that you one day realize your worth and see how lovable you are an can bgin yor healing journey.

@Amanda Webster: I've got a reaction request for you: "Endurant" by Bloodywood. I've looked through your video list, and I didn't see it -- which is why I'm requesting it. It is Bloodywood's expression of how to deal with and overcome bullying -- and given this video, I figure that I would make my request here. Thanks for all you do, in reaching out, having your channel, and helping people deal with depression and suicidal thoughts. You truly do, and are, making a difference. Be well, and be blessed, Amanda, and I'll catch you on your next reaction.

Back in 2004 i was in the grip of alcoholism,Depresion Self harm and suicidal thoughts and several attempts, In the October of that year I shot myself in the head,I was very drunk and on tranqualizers.When I came too I went to the hospital and 2 hours after discharged myself as I was out of control and angry. the next day I went back to hospital and got the round removed,The day later I discharged myself again to get more drink and I couldn't stop drinking fast forward to today I'm 12 and a half years sober , we can get through it

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I am so happy that you are still with us and am SO proud of you for 12 years!!!!!

What do you do when you feel these feeling but dont call or talk to anyone because you feel you're not worthy, or that you dont want to take away a responder from someone more needy than you?

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

There's nothing that makes one person more worthy than another. You fight back against those voices with the voices of myself and others. You deserve it just as much as I did (even though my Shadow told me the EXACT same things yours is!) Please keep fighting. I care if your light goes out.

Hey there Amanda, this was a great reaction video. I like a lot of what you are putting out and think that it is important and very valid to spread the word about mental health and it's stigma. Might I also suggest you also have a look at a video by a New Zealand band called Devilskin, a song called "sweet release". They are a very talented band with some very poignant messages. Thanks for the great channel. Cheers.

I love this song and it sums up how I feel all the time

I have been listening to this song for years, but never saw the music video until now. Wow, what a poignant and true narrative. I am amazed at how they were able to say so much with brief images and scenes. One example that stands out is how they depicted the "romanticization" stage of suicidal ideation, simply by showing him polishing the pistol and holding it lovingly against his cheek. But what really got me (and surprised me) was the turn-around ending. The beginning of the video was what could have been, and almost was the ending. But because of a small gesture from a friend or parent, disaster was averted. And they probably never even knew what they had intercepted and prevented (though I suspect the friend who returned the gaming console had put two and two together). That moved me to tears.

Glad you're still here ☺️

I struggle with adhd and the mental health problems associated with it. I will be starting school this fall to become a psychiatrist specializing in adhd but will also work with veterans. I'm a firm believer that if we build children up and build their self esteem and self worth early to help keep them mentally strong when bullies try to verbally and emotionally abuse them as well as teaching them to physically defend themselves so that they can fight back if a bully tries to beat them up. It wont stop bullying or mental health issues for that matter but I believe it can go a long way in possibly reducing suicides by giving children and teens a means to deflect the abuse from bullies.

I've seen these guys live in concert and this song is one when they play it incorporates alot of fire elements. It's honestly incredible how the drummer doesn't haven't 1st degree burns lol

Hi, I have just watched 3 of your five finger death punch songs . I like your attitude to the content of these songs . It's great to see younger people seeing the issues/problems / wrongs and are trying to help fix the problems by having your points of view ,you have some experience ,and thank you for sharing that. ❤👍🇦🇺 also just a short extra comment ,have a look a the song Biko by Peter Gabriel. Similar feelings are felt on Similar and the same . Cheers🍻

Bullying sucks when growing up but in most cases of development if controlled it can be useful. The bullied are presented with an overwhelming obstacle to overcome. In many cases the victim eventually fights back and the bully becomes humbled and the victim learns that nothing is impossible. I faced the most ruthless forms of bullying from all my peers all while being abused at home. I learned how to fight in a dojo and not only defended myself but also those who were too weak to fight back. I never recovered but when i defended others it seemed to give me a piece of my soul that i never had. Over time I learned that being loved and respected by my community was a pipe dream because when people no longer needed a protector they just discarded me. After politics blew up and further divided society i lost my remaining friends after the rest were dead and gone. I just excepted solitude and silence and stopped trying to be a part of society and it brought me more peace than trying to fit in where I don’t belong

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Very interesting perspective!

@danseigars1983

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda dealing with it in my youth and young adulthood with almost no support was difficult and didn’t end up with a happy ending for me. I have hyper vigilance and self awareness so i know i have carried a lot of bad side effects with me. For the most part i found when i allow myself to be comfortable i get too comfortable and bad things ends up happening. It’s a harsh never ending cycle. Plus many people like myself would consider seeking help if mental health wasn’t weaponized in politics and society. Most of us are more afraid of what we have left being taken from us just by something as simple as a diagnosis

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

@@danseigars1983 Have you considered a life coach as opposed to a traditional therapist? They aren't intertwined with the government and Big Pharma. They don't diagnose or prescribe.

@danseigars1983

Жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda it would be impossible to find any that don’t have a political agenda. For the most part i self sustain without issue, i just keep my deepest thoughts and memories to myself. If society wasn’t pushed to become so disposable trust would be more likely for most of us. I think for the most part society is so deeply demoralized that the most abused of all of us don’t see any option for help if we need it, we just endure. My pain has kept my wits on high alert and it has kept me alive for almost 40 years. I don’t believe that getting rid of the pain will help, I believe that if i become comfortable that will put me at more risk. People have become outwardly psychotic with graphic death threats to the point of including doxxing online. Most days it seems like I’m watching how the nazis and the soviets also demoralized and controlled a population to desensitize their morals enough to allow their government to do the most evil things imaginable. I don’t believe the world is ending, I believe the world how we have known it to be is ending and becoming something darker than we are all willing to see. We already have seen families disown each other over politics to the extent they disinvited them to holiday meals. Now that almost everyone comes from a broken home and raised by the government I don’t see anything but bad things to come in the future. Either war or a government lead genocide disguised as something as simple as a ‘pandemic’. This is why i fly under the radar and just watch everyone around me. If it were as simple as talking to a person who is deemed a professional it would be nice but the easiest path usually costs more than the help is worth

@MentalAmanda

Жыл бұрын

@@danseigars1983 I know few life coaches with political agendas, myself included. Most of us genuinely want to fill in the gap left by the mainstream.

Last Wednesday I had hit bottom, I went to buy a pistol. I had it all planned out. When I got to the gun counter I told them which one I wanted and they told me they had closed the registers due to the ice storm.. I can’t describe the sigh of relief i felt as I walked away. I’m still struggling, however I reached out to a therapist the next day. I’m trying. God I’m trying

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I am SO proud of you! I know it's hard to take that first step. You have a whole community here, including myself, who believes in you and has your back.

@michaelwhary8874

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda thank you. I appreciate you

I was bullied during highschool. To the point I had lost any sort of self confidence I had about any and everything. 2 suicide attempts and a strong drug addiction later I’ve made it to over 2&1/2 years clean of drugs and almost 3 clean of self harm. Now I’ve kinda turned into a bully of bullies. May not be the best thing to be but it helps me by helping the victims of bullies

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I was bullied as well, even by my closest friend. I am SO happy that you survived and are here. While I support the Dexter of the bully world mentality, know that those people are hurting too and that's why they bully in the first place. Bullying them only perpetuates the cycle of pain. I did an interview with Sean Kanan (from Karate Kid and Cobra Kai) about bullying. You might be interested: kzread.info/dash/bejne/dIdluaulkqubhdI.html

i wasn't bullied as a kid but i had anger issues never diagnosed with anything after a fiance left me i went into depression after a few gfs left me i put a gun to my head and only heard a click at that point something clicked and i decided to work hard at my job been doing the same work for 15 years now at the same business for 10 at the end of january had a major relapse in depression but had been talking to a old high school friend who really talked me through it

Thx for this reaction, i live in Finland and song Wrong Side of Heaven hits me especially hart, i used to be in rapid Deployment forces and we were called to keep peace in Afghanistan. We kept guard for 2 weeks, sometimes longer, then British or American troops came to relieve us and kept guard. How ever even tho our unit didn't lose anyone, our replacement unit did. It was a h*** even tho we were in yellow zone, so pretty safe, but deadly if you wont keep an eye. Can only imagine American soldiers mental state been pushed in frontline at 18yrs old.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate your sacrifice as much as any American soldier. Thank you for sharing your experience.

@therayven3147

2 жыл бұрын

A soldier is still a soldier, and a worrier is still a worrier, no matter the nation or country you're from... We ALL bleed, and that blood is RED... My hat's off to you and I salute you brother...

I have had my attempts at suicide, first time at the age of 12, now going on 48 I can say that I still battle the demon that has seemingly set a deep hook into my mental psyche. Even in the best of times in my life, I have that demon telling me that everyone would be better off without me. Having PTSD from serving in the military in the Gulf War, I feel as though that demon invited friends to join in the torture, so each and every day is like fighting an army to survive. Even being happily married with two kids, the struggle is still an unending fight. I want to say that anyone who needs to talk can reach out, I am always willing to listen and do what I can.

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your sacrifice. There are a lot of other soldiers on here that will have your back. Do you need resources or information for PTSD support and help? We're here for you as well.

@justingrandpre7919

2 жыл бұрын

@@MentalAmanda I am always open to learning new information concerning mental health and PTSD, the VA psychiatrist that I have been assigned to, is a guy who has never had issues like most of us, so he is hard to talk to because he doesn’t seem to understand

@MentalAmanda

2 жыл бұрын

@@justingrandpre7919 That is the problem I had with professionals. They are book smart, not street smart. If you want more info on my framework for improving mental health, you can take my free 5 day challenge: www.happinessboost.life

Yup just be you, I wish people would be nice to one another and we all could just live in peace. I've lived ed threw the bullying to, it's so sad that people act like this.

Its true that 1 friend can save a life. I had a barrel in my mouth many years ago when one of my best friends called me out of the blue. He didn't know till a couple of years later that his phone call kept me from pulling the trigger... Haven't touched that gun since because of what I almost did with it.

@MentalAmanda

20 күн бұрын

I'm so glad you got that call and are still here with us. Message me on IG @mentalamanda if you ever need to talk.

The hardest thing for Me after surviving two attempts is the fact I was told to quit being dramatic I've tried talking to family. They sweep it under the rug like it's nothing. So I've built up till I've become numb and Ik one day I'll lose the fight.

@MentalAmanda

2 ай бұрын

Remember that family isn't just blood. Sometimes, we have to create our own family. I know you're not being dramatic. I see your pain. And I accept you into our family here with open arms! If you ever need to talk, my IG and email are in the video descriptions 💖

If it wasn't for ffdps music I don't think I'd still be here especially after the loss of my brother

I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety so as it seems you are very aware, some days,hours,minutes are better than others. I had a thought yesterday about bullying. When I was younger I was bullied because I'm a redhead. Easy "target" (pun intended) and it occurred to me that bullies nowadays are weaker and more cowardly than back then. As a kid if you were a bully you had to physically be there and accept the fact that you could possibly have the tables turned on you! (A more respectable way of being a bully) Today bullies hide behind a screen name, usually not their real name, and a lack of consequences. I'm not condoning bullying just making an observation. I'm 53 years old and thankfully my kids stand up to bullies no matter what they choose as they're means of bullying. Btw, my avatar pic is pretty accurate as to my real life looks and this is my real name! Keep Moving Forward is my favorite saying to help myself or someone else. Thank you for what you do