Things doing the daily practice taught me: - I often fear I'm not doing x, y, z --> I can fix that by doing x, y, or z! - I often fear what other people think of me --> Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but I don't have to /fear/ that they do. - I often fear I'm not progressing my life --> I got a planner & calendar & task management journal. - I often fear I'm [insert any horrible description here] --> Maybe I have some specific issues, but I can work on what I can work on and there's no need to stress about what I can't. - I often fear I'm getting worse at my hobbies --> I remember I am measurably progressing. - I often have fear when someone is irritated around me --> I remember all the times they've been cheerful. - And what I most often fear is that people will leave me --> But if someone doesn't want to be in my life, I shouldn't want to have them in my life in the first place. Only choose people who choose you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

Fantastic comment! Great insights from the DP. Thank you so much for sharing this. Julie@TeamFairy

@r.p.8906

10 ай бұрын

actually the proper way is to say :" I HAVE FEAR that bla bla..." This is what Anna 🧚‍♂ says at almost every live call. Using this " formula" makes us separate from our fears. "Having fears" is not "being afraid" and somehow, our subconscious gets the difference. 🧚‍♂

@ecleland979

10 ай бұрын

@@r.p.8906 Thanks for the concern, but I do write "I have fear" in the practice. This comment is an overview of the things I often write down.

@Rockerlady

10 ай бұрын

​@@CrappyChildhoodFairyWhat are your thoughts on helping a relative financially? He( not my brother) has a history of drug use, lying, disrespectful behavior and being a jerk. Now he is trying to get clean for good. He asks to borrow ten or 20 dollars here and there. This is after apologizing for bad behavior. I always think, "it will happen again eventually." Then I end up lending it to him, basically as go away money! Your opinion would be great. Cut off totally or see if he actually survives rehab? I don't live with this person.

@gorunsko31

10 ай бұрын

⁠@@Rockerladyas you noticed, I am not CCF but I feel compassion for you, because the dilemma you are feeling is familiar to me. So all I have is validation, but I think you are the one who has a solution, if you believe yourself snd your discomfort… I “see” the lack of boundaries… or they are not clear, for example what are those $20 bills? Gifts? Loans? Award for him being trying to go clean ? Look at yours first and find out what motivates you? You will safer with stronger snd clearer boundaries. Recognize your financial limits snd ask him too what is he seeking and be prepare to negotiate. Best regards. I am not native speaker of English, so pardon any linguistic errors. Another Irene ( in different language ). I have a fear thus relative will become dependent on you. But this is my problem, of course. Peace ☮️ and love from one empath to another ❤

I got tired of one-sided relationships years ago. I ended such a relationship for the first time in my life a couple of years ago. I just disappeared from their life because for years I was the only one doing all the caring. This person has never once reached out in return since. That is my answer. Do NOT chase people that don't want you in their life. Trust me, I'm happy I just left them.

@sdd123

10 ай бұрын

I agree. Let go of toxic friendships.If they do not call you then you know.

@missyk1477

10 ай бұрын

I started doing the same thing for the same reason.

@ursamagickmt672

10 ай бұрын

Three friends. Two of 50 years. Kept making the calls, emails, possible plans. They just never put themselves out there for whatever reasons. They're all dead now. Never even got to say goodbye. 😟

@glendabyrth5714

10 ай бұрын

Heartbreaking though after a lifetime and it feels too late to connect to any other humans. When the reality of you doing all the input hits its just more of the same. Was any friendship in my life not people pleasing?

@mysticpizza02

10 ай бұрын

I left a one sided friendship many years ago she is most likely a narcissist, she showed her true colours and the abusive comments smirks at my difficulties in life increased, I had no option but to go no contact but of course this was her way of making me out to be the bad one, making me leave and then acting the poor victim. She had someone else already lined up fair enough I don't own anyone but lol this person who lived probably about 10 mins from her now lives over an hour away and not so accessible to her, glad I left.

Nice people are always taken advantage of until we learn strong boundaries.

@brandyk

10 ай бұрын

Karenlenk or until you get better at selecting people to be friends with n taking it slow. I'm a nice person n I don't think people have taken advantage of me but I'm also not a pushover n have pretty good discernment. Not perfect but good. I'm also friends with some very nice people n I don't try to take advantage of them. Maybe it's the vibe one puts out or the vibe one fails to notice in others. It's really difficult to say without knowing the details.

@PrimeTheMindwithUrbi

10 ай бұрын

Niceness has got nothing to do with taken for granted for or drawing boundaries. You can be a nice person & have kind yet firm boundaries & also have compassion for the world. You can be nice & take 100% responsibility to heal your wounds, understand trauma better to understand why people act the way they do. Sometimes it's not even about us. But we build painful stories around the things that happen outside of us because of our childhood memories which we may have even forgotten. So only key is to not blame others & heal ourselves for the life we are experiencing. ❤

People are no longer interested in friendships but using others. Its not necessarily trauma but the degradation of our society as a whole.

@brandyk

10 ай бұрын

Lsisiak well not everyone but this is a much greater phenonmon in female friendships than it used to be. Lack of ethics n consideration for others feelings has certainly increased but so too has women's business relationship s. Years ago it was a neighbor or a friend or maybe a coworker who eventually became a friend now so many career sites expecting one to have many colleagues they stay in touch with, network with etc but most of that is really using people. The idea that they are using you in return can make it feel less one sided but the entire thing feels yucky for those of us who are kinder n more genuine people. So much is lost in the rat race .

@missgolightly5488

10 ай бұрын

Word!

@missgolightly5488

10 ай бұрын

​@@brandykI feel it's the same in male friendships as well. Personally the individual that used me the most in my life so far was a male gay friend. i have observed that male to male friendships have also become degenerative and opportunistic. All in all i think you are right.. f to f has always been challenging

@BryantOden

10 ай бұрын

Big facts! If you find genuine and authentic people in your lifetime hold onto them and give them their flowers while they can smell them.

@littleblackbabycat

10 ай бұрын

No.... you need to work out why you think this. It's not my experience.

Problem is, I always feel discarded, and everyone always leaves, or it remains one-sided. Maybe they’re not using me, but I’m never the priority, and they move on.

@karatalley1987

10 ай бұрын

I can relate.

@marygabaree622

10 ай бұрын

Boundaries, hon. You need to learn boundaries. Don’t just give everything until you see & feel that you are getting something in return. I understand & do the same thing. We want to be liked. But we wind up giving everything-having nothing left & they just walk away & we feel abandoned. Dole the love & care you feel out to them in SMALL portions….you are still giving… but not giving your ALL. Understand? You sound like an empath or a light worker ❤️ We can’t help but care deeply. Research empath. It might help you understand WHY you are the precious being you are.

@user-kd3tt5lr6m

10 ай бұрын

I don’t want to seem like I’m making any statements about you, so if this doesn’t apply to you, please disregard it: I used to feel this way, until I realized I was a low-effort friend. & not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t want to be a bother by asserting myself making plans & asking them to spend time with me. Too much timidness, however, can make you seem uninvested, and I lost a lot of friends because I was so afraid of making myself heard and then panicking and chasing when I realized they were leaving me. I’d panic but I still wouldn’t know how to put in the effort without feeling like a pain, so we’d be stuck in this weird limbo where the friend would realize I probably needed some sort of support, but didn’t really know how to give it because they didn’t really *know* me…I didn’t really know me either. this happened in my relationships as well. it can be so hard to assert yourself & open up and try to get involved…if you are at this point I really feel for you bc it can be so lonely.

@trish87563

10 ай бұрын

@@marygabaree622 Oh, I have boundaries now, and I've learned to move on myself. But the challenge is, I still don't find friends who ever put in any effort. Maybe it's my age or something, but I just can't find people willing to put in any effort and time, which ends up meaning I'm just alone a lot--I've let go of old "friends," but I just can't seem to find good people to fill my life with. I have a lot of good acquaintances, but they're not interested in friendship. And I'm not willing to do one-sided friendships anymore. But that means I just don't have any real friends right now. And that sucks bitterly. And I know exactly what an empath is--I know I am one. But it's a crappy position to be in when you can't find a fellow empath or others who really want to connect.

@tessarae9127

10 ай бұрын

Devil’s advocate here - but I don’t think this is just a cptsd thing, I think many people have forgotten how to truly value their friendships and you may be over personalizing things. I’ve seen in my generation that because there’s always other people and a million ways to get to know people if there’s anything, no matter how minute, that is outside of whatever a person envisions when it comes to friendship or whatever, they’ll just discard and start the search all over again. I really don’t think it’s personal but self reflection couldn’t hurt either (just don’t shame spiral or anything). Some people I’ve talked to are just overly negative, others I feel may be jealous on some level, others have really unhealthy habits and are bad influences; these are just a few examples of what I’ve had to leave behind in the quest for friendship. Honestly if people aren’t able to forgive your human moments (all of us need to be those above things in different seasons of our lives) its them, not you. I get the feeling of always being second but I also would question what it would be like to be the first choice too because that may not be all it’s cracked out to be as well. And do you want to be the first choice of only some people or just anyone, I’d be mindful when it comes to being picked by anyone because you never know what their past is too. Hugs from afar 🤍 making friends can be hard and I totally understand!!

The only time people call me or reach out to me is when they want something. At first I didn't realize I was being used, and would give freely. It never ended well. Now I hesitate or scrutinize anytime someone initiates contact with me. Sadly, I still find that most people just want something from me and are not looking for true friendship.

When you hear the term life coach or someone who describes themselves as an empath, RUN!

@maryanneevans8812

10 ай бұрын

Lol ikr???!!!!😂

@user-fs3rq4mw9y

10 ай бұрын

PERIOD

@janny474

10 ай бұрын

Yes!!! This exactly. And there are so many on these vids claiming "I'm an empath! I'm an empath!". Red flag to me. And being a life coach is another red flag. Those people are always giving unsolicited advice to everyone in a very patronizing manner. They also think they're empaths 😂. You've got to laugh.

@jennyfrench4031

10 ай бұрын

Definitely

@AnimalFarm341

8 ай бұрын

Too funny, I recently found out a fake friend of mine had tried to be a life coach. She only friends people to gain something I realized. She’s peddling an mlm now. Oh… and she claims to be an empath! 😂

As individual, one has to get over being desperate for a friend or friends; what is important is to be your own best friend. A psychiatrist once told me that a person is lucky to have one real friend in a lifetime, very true. People place to much emphasis on having friends; when you envy people who seem to have a lot of friends just remember that they are all just shallow friendships or fair weather friends.

" How I do know when my cptsd is triggered, and when to trust my judgement " Man, this is the question of the century.

With friendships, once I started picking friends who were more "chill," supportive, and, in my trauma-based perception, a little "boring," I finally found that slow burn and lasting friend base I've always craved. The same could be said for romantic relationships. For me, an admittedly high-strung individual, chill, open-minded, and steady are much better friend and partner qualities.

@Rockerlady

10 ай бұрын

I have found with friends and men I dated, I was attracted to people with a good sense of humor. This is still a positive trait, but if they are over the top funny, I had to learn to watch out. Too many people turn out to be bipolar and backstabby.

@Poodle_Gun

10 ай бұрын

@irene I'd be careful how you use the word "bipolar". That's not a personality disorder, it's a mental health issue, and there's a high correlation between bipolar disorder and trauma. I think the humor is okay if it's conversational, as opposed to performative. For example, someone making a joke about the joke you just told and vice versa. Not being a funny crazy fun friend.

@Rockerlady

10 ай бұрын

​​​The people I was referring to were bipolar. Major mood swings, Jekyl/ Hyde, extreme behaviors.

@dennisrobinson8008

10 ай бұрын

That is a good observation

I was in a friendship with a very spiritual woman and I assumed because she was spiritual she was never wrong. So I ignored her occasional jabs which sounded like jealousy (how could that be?) and let this go on for years without discussing it with her. The more I let her get away with snarky comments, the worse she got. Finally, she ended our friendship because I disagreed with her. And then I woke up to my fawning behavior towards her. I must of moved on because I don’t miss her.

@shobhnakapoor1399

10 ай бұрын

Being spiritual means integrating spiritual concepts into your relationships. Jealous jabs are an indicator your ex friend was angry. Perhaps you had achieved an outcome she didn't achieve. A truly spiritual doesn't rely on outcomes to feel happy.

@gypsygirltarot2451

10 ай бұрын

@@shobhnakapoor1399 thanks. I had a hard time accepting she had negative feelings about me…and it would have been so obvious to an outsider. Maybe part of it was that I was lonely and had a hard time making real friends so I was willing to overlook her comments. In retrospect, she really didn’t have my back and I couldn’t count on her to help me out of tight situations.

@lovelover4408

10 ай бұрын

⁠I had a similar situation with a friend who I really admired who was really knowledgeable about trauma and the brain… and then I made the mistake of taking a job from her and she treated me horribly and then completely dropped me. I was so sure that she was so knowledgeable that I doubted myself and gave her the benefit of the doubt when she questioned my ability to do the work I’ve done for ten years… did not really know the extent of my fawn response until I went through this. Now I’m wary of hero worship. People are just people

@gypsygirltarot2451

10 ай бұрын

@@lovelover4408 hero worship is exactly what I did too. I realized that because I put these people on pedestals, I didn’t allow for them to make mistakes, just like me. What I try to do now is stick up for myself when I think I’m being insulted…or I call them on bad behavior. If the relationship can’t sustain that, it wasn’t a real relationship to begin with. This is a real learning process for me, and I don’t always follow through but I’m trying.

Honoring the gut feeling is so valuable! As well as stepping away, without condemning them or smearing. Plus, taking it slowly. Very good tips.

I'm a massage therapist and have had similar things happen with other business women. I've had to step back when someone starts using or copying me. I'm so glad you cover these topics, it helps me see I'm not alone in these situations.

@andziagreen4922

10 ай бұрын

I experienced the same type of "new friends" through my social hiking group. They used my connections, people who were hiking with me were a target to gain more clients 🤦‍♀️ I was naive at first thinking they do hiking with me because they love it but they dissapeared and never joined me again when they got or didn't get more potential clients. Now I see clearly most of those so called spiritual people intentions straight way. They are far from being spiritual

@Nwladylaura369

10 ай бұрын

They are users. Met a gal awhile back and thought she was a good possibility for a true friend, but not so. She appears to collect people for a time, but generally to suit her current needs. Glad I saw her true self before putting too much time into the “friendship.” She is just an acquaintance.

Trust your gut, always. She was using and manipulating you, Mira.

It's always best to have separate friend circles so you don't end up in this situation. Never overlap the friend circles.

@samco63

10 ай бұрын

That’s what I’ve always done, naturally. But I always thought maybe I was weird for doing that, and I wasn’t able to be “normal”. Like, if I ever got married - who would I invite? Am I even close enough to know who would come to my wedding. But as I’ve gotten older, I’m more comfortable with just small separate groups of friends.

@brandyk

10 ай бұрын

​@@samco63separate is better in the long run. Don't put all your eggs in one basket as if a relationship with one doesn't work out it can really bleed into the others, especially if some of them are family.it can be so nice to be part of a friend group and maybe even closest to one but it can really backfire. About 12 years ago at age 42 I lost several friends if 10-20 yrs. Never fully got over it

I have realised that a couple of friends wouldn't in a million years recognise that they are using me, but they come at me from the ONE UP position. They feel lucky compared to me. The other day a friend said to me that there was no joy in my life. I was shocked. I don't feel that that is true. I am resilient and optimistic and although I'm single, I'm not looking for a partner. I can find joy in simple uncomplicated pleasures. I have friends, a job, a pension, interests, a good relationship with my daughter (although, sadly, not my son, not atm). But to be TOLD that I have no joy in my life.............. That's kind of strange.

@rsmith4407

10 ай бұрын

I was told I was “too resilient” and needing “to see someone” by a friend the other day after travelling an hour to hers to help her with a project. She’s loved up after meeting a man two weeks ago and to me just seems completely obsessed and juvenile about it. She’s told me before she’s an anxious attachment and I can see that quite clearly with her fast moving love life right now. From this place of confidence she began criticising me subtly and her projections and misreading me felt very off and I left her home feeling blindsided and a bit upset. During the travel back home, I had a feeling of panic…and by the time I was home I was angry and I’ve decided I’m stepping RIGHT BACK from her. Since then I’ve spent time and been in touch with friends I’ve not seen as often as this newer friend recently - and I’ve felt so much happier and seen. They were all offended by what this woman said, and agreed that what she said was totally weird and inappropriate and that…for want of a better word…she’s “cockstruck” and is in a total bubble of her own making.

@lovelover4408

10 ай бұрын

Projection?

@thatrugreallytiedtheroomto4537

18 күн бұрын

Dang.. what a bitch. I’d be as shocked as you were to hear something like that from a friend

i think people assume a "life coach" is empathic, nope! they can be mutually exclusive things. in fact, i'd bet a good number of life coaches are narcissistic, since telling other people how to live their lives is right up a narcissist's alley, not to mention preying on vulnerable, insecure people...and of course the CCF is not in that group, but it sounds like the life coach in this letter, is. self-serving.

@AntiMatrix76

10 ай бұрын

After qualifying as a life coach in 2010, I can honestly say that most of the coaches I met did not have empathy. In fact, most of them were self serving. That was purely my experience and not necessarily the same for everyone, but I can totally relate to your comment

@sheilajac

10 ай бұрын

@@AntiMatrix76 interesting. i'm sure many do have empathy but the one described in this, clearly did not and it sounds as if the writer assumed they all do. i know one who did, which was angie atkinson and crappy childhood fairy obviously does too.

@FlyingMonkies325

10 ай бұрын

Yeh it's like teachers too and i hate hate teachers now and have for the past 8 years now cos teachers are like coaches except in learning and oh boy... the entire job is narc central, so many mind games and making themselves look innocent at the very slightest chance they'll get a promotion and doing deadly immortal things to other staff and the students in the hope they will be "saw" by their equally narc boss, they go around dropping people like a hat too and then don't think their boss will eventually do it to them lol, their big egos get so convinced they're safe that they seriously think they're exempt... it's very very sad. It's why cults start and i watch a channel with a life coach that's very heavily spirituality based and it's good but even someone in an interview said to him "it's an awfully powerful position to be entrusted to you" but alas only one out of millions can truly handle that sort of position, other people that sort of power corrupts irrevocably, so nooo... we can never put SO much trust in any positions that have so much power and oversight over people too risky. That's a concept made by society that somehow we should so blindly believe and trust people with "special" titles when it's far from what actually happens in reality.

@Poodle_Gun

10 ай бұрын

It's the fake openness. They're too open and relatable, and it's to an end.

@brandyk

10 ай бұрын

Shellajac I agreed wholeheartedly. Not that they would all be bad but it is a job that attracts a certain kind of person n often gur s certain kind of reason and it's not always good. Sort of Ike therapists.

I am so lucky to have lots of siblings. We lost our parents and managed to work through that terrible situation to being good friends as adults.

@Charlie-cz3jh

10 ай бұрын

Lucky you🥰

I used to teach a weight loss boot camp. I had a student who acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Wanted to high jack the music, constantly answering the phone. She just looked for ways to take the attention off me and place to spotlight on her. I didn't buy into it and eventually she found another place to prance around.

I feel that our competitive mindset, that we are taught from childhood, is finally destroying our society. The collaborative mindset does not seem to exist anymore.

On being honest with the fake friend - I wouldn’t. Might be my cptsd but honestly you don’t know how steeped in dark triad traits a person truly is until you are in this sort of situation and worse case scenario in this, they will begin to triangulate you with all of your former friends until you actually have none of your original friends 😅 You end up looking crazy and like the bad guy even though it was actually their behavior that “made” you that way. Best case scenario with walkimg away silently is you have your dignity in tact and other people may pay attention to how you seemed to “catch on” to whatever is behind the shiny exterior faster than they were able to.

@elizabethoneill9572

10 ай бұрын

yes, this happened to me sadly but I found out who my true friends were

@Rockerlady

10 ай бұрын

I agree. You think you are doing the right thing by being honest, then they turn it around and act like you're the monster.

@FlyingMonkies325

10 ай бұрын

I think sometimes you have to very shortly and bluntly be honest about how someone like this is behaving in order to cover your back because the non communication they'll equally use that and make you look like the narc and she has a business... so in her position i would so she's got the texts to show later if she tries anything and tries to dismantle her business out of some kind of silly "revenge". Been there and done it too many times and most of the time oh noo... they will not let you go so easily, so you need insurance.

@Poodle_Gun

10 ай бұрын

If anyone asks, you've been busy. They'll say "give me a call when you're free" or something if they care.

@janny474

10 ай бұрын

I absolutely agree. You cannot communicate sincerely with the chronically insincere. I think it's grannon that came up with that quote. It certainly applies to my toxic family and it makes a lot of sense with this type of frienemy. Anything you say can and will be used against you. Better to just ghost them.

This happened to me exactly. A new neighbor moved in, poached my friend group then pushed me out , the whole time I thought I was doing something wrong. I stepped back from that circle and I think I dodged a bullet. Yay.

~I was always the one to contact, or invite a friend out, so i decided to back off...so far its been 3 months & i havent heard from her.....oh, well....

When you continually choose the wrong people to attach to, then yes, they will behave as you knew they would...and you subconsciously wanted them too. They feel safe/normal. Being unsafe emotionally feels safe and normal. You first have to believe you are really worth better. Then you will not settle. You will accept only those who are healthy and seek healthy people.

Cut people out who: 1. Compete 2. Compare what u own to what they own 3. Copy your creativity 4. Can't take responsibility for adult communication

I know what this feels like and have friends who have been in the same situation as well. It feels so weird and like you're being placed into a competition you never signed up for. Follow your gut and stop/limit your interaction with the person.

@FlyingMonkies325

10 ай бұрын

I know right? that's one of the things i feel and they'll also constantly make you get down on yourself about failing something even in a game (that's totally silly getting so serious about it's just a game), and they'll say things like "Damn i totally failed on that one" or just generally getting you complaining about even the smallest fails by purposely complaining so that you might mirror it, and they'll get other people to do it for them too. I just had this happen to me in an online game like i'd hang out with this guy and his group and he'd constantly say he failed this and that or "complained" he disqualified or just didn't get this or that thing the game, and he made me do it too during the surf race mini games which was part of him emotionally manipulating me, and he'd constantly act like not just me but everyone was competition (i didn't sign up for that no) and he always wants to be first to win at everything, these people are very unwell and twisty. Now since i departed from the group (which he constantly claimed was non-serious and were just chillin') he's been stalking me and acting like he owns the entire game, can't stay for more than 1 hour in a location without him or one of the others showing up and acting like i'm doing something wrong, i've constantly been blocking and he finds someone else. These people are just insane and i just ended it because i knew they were gonna start something and there would be no reasoning with them, you just can't they're so unwell i just feel sad for them.

This is very timely as I have struggled with this my whole life, compounded by moving around a lot. I always seem to care more than others do, so I'm working on that part. I wish I had "faded out" more often and not continued the relationship once it felt bad. I'm learning to match energies. Exercise, mediation and prayer help me be more grounded. Now this gives me hope. Thank you

@larsstougaard7097

10 ай бұрын

Hope you find people that resonate with you, it can be tough.

We, the givers, are not in majority so it’s more probable for us to step with opportunistic people than with good ones. So the numbers are against us so we need to keep our eyes and ears very open every time we meet someone.

Hi Anna - I met a new friend recently who showed up at my home, to drive me and other new/mutual friends to a restaurant for my Birthday dinner party. All of a sudden, as his eyes BULGED out, he yelled at me..." we need to leave NOW." I calmly asked why he was in a rage... he showed up 7 minutes late... He said he needed to stop at a store (on the way to the restaurant) to buy his special cigarettes. After assuring him we could leave within a few minutes he continued yelling at me, along with extreme physical body language ...as if to strangle someone. I told him to leave. As he walked to his car, he continued with obscenities. Then I told him to get off my property and F off. Although I'm not proud that things got ugly...I AM proud that I STUCK UP FOR MYSELF, for a change!! Typically I'll stick up for ANY one BUT me. Now I'm learning to be strong. I'm thankful for your You Tube channel. I've learned much from you in a short period of time. Thank You Anna❤

@TopSecretInformations

10 ай бұрын

_Good for you!!!_ 👍🏼

@Charlie-cz3jh

10 ай бұрын

@@TopSecretInformations Thanks 😊

You have no idea how much of a RELIEF it was for me to learn that most people don't walk around with this mix of anxiety/anger/despondency/fear/resentment all the time. I really did believe, subconsciously, that this was how everyone experienced life. That was one of the things that hurt me the most. Essentially it was projection, but I didn't know that as a teenager. THANK YOU Anna for your work, which allows us all to heal. 🧡

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you're here! Thank you for sharing, I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I've had my share of one sided "relationships" in my life, and now that I'm older, I'm just worn out, burned out, and so through with it all. I enjoy being alone and retired, doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Seems that there are more "takers" in the world than there used to be. Could be the inflationary economy that we are in where things are more expensive, jobs don't pay as much as they used to, etc. Thank you so much, Ms. Anna, for all the great work you do.

10:00 "... there's no reason to slam the door on the way out." Class. 👍 You're definitely being the better person in that scenario without looking judgy.

@barbarakelly1916

9 ай бұрын

Also, you are saving your time and energy.

It's amazing how sone women never grow out of that "I'm friends with them and not you anymore"....it's so 3rd grade

Anna gave the perfect answer at the end treat new friendships like dating-go slow. From my observations people who move too fast at becoming friends don't last; any bump or rough patch usually ends the superficial friendship quickly.

If something is off or you feel like you're being used, then I've found that is most likely what is happening. I find that my gut feeling is pretty spot on with people, but mistakes happen when I try to rationalise away or ignore things that bother me about the person or the dynamic between us. And I know CCF you've said gut feeling can't always be trusted with CPTSD, however I find, for me, it's the cognitive part which confuses things and causes the problems. The body knows.

Anytime I have "friends" they use me to get to my husband, or use me as a buffer, or as a therapist, or as a babysitter, or whatever else they want from me. When they get what they want from me and I no longer have anything they want, they completely ghost me. Then, when I'm ghosted, and left alone, I tell my husband I don't want to associate with them anymore and he tells me I can't keep friends and I just like to burn bridges (he has since stopped saying this, but the damage is done.) Not only that, but when they cut me out, they go and gossip about me to whomever has replaced me as their new shiny play thing. I have not had a friend in 6 years, just to avoid this.

That Letter you Read, is SPOT ON TO 'MANY' OF MY OWN SITUATIONS!!!!!!.......Thanks for doing this Video!🌺🌺

Yes.. trust the bad feelings... Anything can seem like.. "oh, they have not really done anything overtly bad.."... But if it feels bad, just back off and save your heart.. and sanity... Then you can also ask yourself if you would treat this other person this way... Then is obvious you have different values and are not on the same level of emotional maturity... It sucks though that there are not more true friend material out there.. there is one "friend" that sometimes texts me... And no matter what the text is... It just feels bad... And it interupts my day and like my will to do things is damaged... Like if i could ever have a real convo with her, i might just say.. "we just aren't good for each other".. and leave it at that...

I recently had a friend essentially use me as a therapist in helping her through her divorce then got discarded when she met a new man. Before their first anniversary came around her and the new guy were in couples counseling and individual counseling after I warned her at slow down. She hasn’t realizes I’ve slowly removed myself from her life because she’s not healed her stuff and she emotionally dumps on everyone just to use them to keep her emotionally afloat.

I'm so glad you address all sides and focus on personal responsibility. I watch your videos and just when I'm about to say "yeah, but" you masterfully turn it around. In my view, the ability to see both viewpoints and not sugar coat, while refusing to assume or assign malicious intent is a sign of high EQ.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy

As an LMT who works on friends, with a lot of issues around being used, i completely second this advice: put up a boundary, see what she does.

Mira, your friend poacher sounds like a version of the movie "Single White Female". If you had a boyfriend she'd be asking him out too. You can't kick her out of the network without coming out looking shabby to people who can't see the nuances. Just let it shrivel on the vine. Don't confront her at all, ever; not even if she asks... or she will use it to gossip and drive a wedge between you and your network. Is she aware of what she's doing? Probably not. But it's probably an M.O. Do your yoga thing. Keep your dignity and integrity. Distance yourself. She probably won't notice. She is sooooo busy social climbing. Others will see through her eventually if she's icky. Journal because you know you're too open etc and it's great to learn and observe yourself. You will be able to adapt when you meet new friends.

@youtubealiasoriginal

10 ай бұрын

Thats a great movie

@N8trgirl

10 ай бұрын

@@Lena-jq7cr Well said Lena! Childhood emotional abuse and the gaslighting and invalidation made it difficult to trust my own memories until I started journalling and creating a trail of evidence and seeing the patterns. It helped me gain confidence to trust my feelings. They are BS radar. I don't need to go on high alert with one blip...just observe the trajectory and see if words and actions match.

I'm going to vent slightly here, sorry, but maybe some of you can relate?... I had a childhood friend, 10 years strong, from 8 to 18...she was closer to me than my sister (or so I thought). When we went to uni, she ghosted me completely, because she found 'better' friends, I guess (richer and more convenient to socialise with). I didn't really get it, at the time, just thought she was busy with uni and studies, so she never had time to meet up or answer my calls/ letters. After uni, we both moved to London and reconnected through sport and some social events. I met these new 'friends' of hers from uni and they were some of the most obnoxious, selfish, ignorant people I've ever met...spoilt little rich girls, intent on manipulating their boyfriends into marriage and treating them like slaves. I should have known then but I still didn't see the signs. It was only when I found love with someone who was of far 'superior' status (in their eyes - double doctorate, bigger salary, homeowner, blah blah blah) that suddenly my old friend wanted to be best friends again. She dropped my like a sack of potatoes as soon as my partner didn't particularly want to socialise with her (I think he saw right through her from the start). I don't want to be angry with myself for being naive and wanting love. I want to stay being a good, honest, loyal person who knows that true love is more powerful than money, status or these false lives that other people seem so desperate to lead...I just struggle with knowing which parts of that are 'me' and which parts are 'the trauma talking' when trying to meet new people.

@brandyk

10 ай бұрын

Louisekincoln I wouldn't over think it. She showed you who she was when she ghosted you at uni but for some reason bc you then lived closer again you thought you'd try it again. Bad idea. Then u met some of those uni friends n u got bad vibe. Again red flag. You're friend is not the person you thought she was or may actually have been at a time in her life. Don't let it sour you in others just don't ignore so many red flags next time. You seem like a decent n loyal person so continue to be but do t waste it on people who aren't.

This woman got the better of me, through manipulation. Luckily the trash took itself out and she blocked me the minute I stood up for myself. I think I see her angle now. Hopefully. She kept calling me "innocent" and "nieve" huge red flags among others. I kept ignoring them.

Mom has killed me finally 62 yrs. If she was dead it would be horrible but my sister is murderer, cheated on every man I had and still is using my children and. Mother to get rid of me because they can't get anything on their own, serious sadist narcissistic family smear campaign, accused all my life for their guilt and sins so I'm done, thank you for the last few months of helping me, I got attacked still yesterday and throw me mom, everyone else has. Oh Jesus I surrender myself to you take care of everything.

I would go on doing what you love. "Step away" is perfect. If you let the negative switches be flipped then she is stealing your peace of mind. Perhaps observing, and diving into, your own joy in yoga and other life passions, rather than obsessing about her behavior will be a wonderful, freeing thing. Most people are attracted to someone who is freely sharing and experiencing what they value. Let her go. You step onto your own path and give an imaginary wave to her. I think confrontation is a sad idea. I like the fairy's idea on how to handle it. Get out of competition and into the more mature, relaxed approach. Wishing you the best.

Wow. I can't believe this came up in my feed. One of my friends had been ignoring my texts for a couple of months, but then was all over me once they needed a ride to the doctor. Made me sad but I did it anyway. As you say, it's good information and I'm paying attention. Thank you 💖💖💖🥰.

This is where I had to learn ...IM 100% of what I do. No matter what someone says...they take advantage of my vulnerabilities...so, I use that to grow and have no mercy on saying NO to people like that. It's good practice.

Oh wow, this really hits home. This keeps happening which eventually leads to an INFJ door slam and leaves me feeling used, manipulated, and distrustful. I'm trying to learn how to identify this early on.

I made friends with a life coach once and it always felt like she was trying to push me into booking sessions with her. Meanwhile her own life was a big mess but she was too dissociated to really see it. Not all life coaches are like that but the ones who are broke and needy for money are always looking for customers in their "friends"

I don't know how to read people. Not even a smidgen. And when I finally notice that I've been used and that they really didn't want my friendship, it's happened already. That's why I value my solitude so much. No opportunities for fake people that may ruin my inner peace. Thank you for the tips and tricks in this video.

l had to end a four year friendship when she treated my kids badly. We liked the same t hings, finished each others sentences, thought in a similar way like we were twins. l felt she used me for babysitting and my car because she didnt drive. But when we ended the friendship all she cared about was me paying her back and lve never heard from her again. Amazing how she can just do that after all lve helped her with and through. But l was wasting my energy on her and my time with my teen kids. l knew something was amiss when she had a gathering at her place and l twisted my ankle badly and fell. l went inside the house and laid down because the pain was excruciating, l laid there for half an hour crying and my ankle ballooned up and after about 45 minutes she came in to see what l was doing. l had to drive home in a manual car, no offer to get me an uber or any other transport. l think that red flag was the beginning of the end. She certainly thought about herself continuously and whatever l told her l wanted (like my wants that l had no money for) she would buy it for herself, cos she had money. l felt she kinda rubbed it in my face. And she woudlnt invite me out to things she knew l liked. My life has felt less stressful with her out of the picture.

Checking in after a five-year friendship just imploded. . . . Yeah, there's some grief with that, but I am always comforted by the fact that there are so many people in this world, and some of them are capable of being my friend, and I theirs. A big assumption among those of us with crappy childhoods is scarcity. That's just not true. Live that reality, every day.

Wow, this really hit home for me. I've had something really hard happen in the past year, actually, a couple things when I was in a very vulnerable spot. I don't think our relationships will ever be the same. Thanks for the friendship skill tips. ❤

People wont tell u how they feel about you, they will just treat you bad til you go away. You have to be able to read between the lines and take care of yourself in the meantime to not let their negativity impact you or take away your shine.

In my personal experiences with coaches and therapists, is that we have higher expectations of them, censuses they have chosen to put themselves in the position of authority in the space of mental health, that with all the repetition of applied methods and concepts they are “better” at life than we are and that going into a relationship with them (professionally or casually) we project all that and are expecting more of them. This is a big blind spot for me personally. In my experiences around these people, they are usually very naive, usually because they learned some concepts that helps the make great sounding excuses (word salad). They want to help people so they don’t have to do the actual work themselves. Most of them have not gone through extreme trauma and or done the work themselves. Hence the hubris that they can put themselves at the center of attention but not have the hesitation of humility to learn and experience more. There are some of you Jess out there like you Fairy, that can get into nuance, I’m currently thinking that is the definition of a great coach/therapist. They live the example. Your video on what to look for in a therapist is really helping me in my current shopping for a new one. Thank you for all you and your team do.

I think that you Anna is a mentor. I don't feel you at all ask strategic coaching questions and leave it up to us as audience to answer ourselves.... You show your way by answering like you do, and we get so many tools to start using ....which I thank you for to the stars and back 🙌💎👑 ❤❤❤

Thank you for the daily vlog ! I'd would be interested in knowing (maybe a vlog ?) about how to make friends and how to find/create and keep your own community .

Not a problem, when you keep eveybody at arm's length - no friends to poach or connections to exploit 😕 I'm working on my issues, though - just started Dysregulation Boot Camp.

This is so hard! Thank you for this video-it is such a help in understanding some of these dynamics.

Hi fairy😊❤️ This was interesting. I wonder if you could address the same situation- but in a family dynamic. What if the wife/mother was being discarded & scapegoated. The whole rest of the family seems to have their own thing- they laugh, joke, go out together…. But the wife/mother is excluded & made to feel separate. Sometimes, they’re all just gone out & she was never told they left. She is just good for buying things they want & cooking/ cleaning…. She is VERY lonely & feels unloved & abandoned all the time….. WHAT do you do in that situation? (Oh & she’s just a housewife- no job, no way to escape. And she has CPTSD & is sometimes disregulated) It’s a real mess, right? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry. Keep watching, and try Daily Practice. Then come to the free DP calls you're invited to with the course. This is one way we connect with our inner power. Glad you are here. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

@marygabaree622

10 ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you😊❤️

@omavicmcmurray2893

10 ай бұрын

I can relate to Mary above. I hear the offer for the DP, that sounds good. Still, what does one do when its the family, not friends. You don’t usually just find another. Ideas? Thanks!

@missyk1477

10 ай бұрын

I remember feeling that way. I learned boundaries and how to love myself enough to stop being everyone's doormat. It was tough taking that first step, and I'm still a work in progress, but I'm going in the right direction.

@FlyingMonkies325

10 ай бұрын

Most people have crappy families these days it's the culture *shrug* nothing we can do except find people who care there's no such thing as a good caring family where most of us come from these days, everyone on both sides exclude us except when they want us as their captive audience and nothing they do is out of the goodness of their heart, buy you a present? i owe them now it was somehow payment so i'd visit them when they'd never visit me. Honestly just stop caring about them it hurts because family is supposed to care about us and look after us but it's not the reality of what families do anymore, but they'll drag you in in the false pretense they want you there cos they "want to see you and care about you, we've not seen you in a long time" but it's more like they want you to be their captive audience "i'm trapped so your trapped too i'll bring you down with me" but then they go and exclude you cos... narcissists. The last few generations are just too messed up for there to be any real reason why they should be acting this way, it's just blind, senseless, dysfunctionality and if they seem jealous? they're jealous of every little thing... have a job? jealous, don't have a job? jealous, have something else they don't have or wish they had? jealous... on and on it goes just total bitterness... don't play their games and just stop inviting them over, stop going over to their place, and escape this abusive family dynamic free yourself cos it's helping nobody, it's pointless and stupid them hurting their families for no real reason. Go be happy together cos they'll tear you apart believe me.

Bravo. This is only slightly more extreme than a situation that I had. I kept pointing at the computer screen and nodding my head :) My poacher gaslit me to the enth.

I’m glad to be watching this video. I’m dealing with this now. I met this person before I introduced her to my friend group I thought she was cool her and her twin sister. I noticed she started putting me down in front of my friends. It was almost like she was trying to compete with me. She would do it in disguise as a joke. If someone would give me completes, she would make a snide remark. She would give others in the compliments but not me. However, I noticed she copies me a lot. She also stopped inviting me places and when I would invite her she always had some excuse as to why she couldn’t go. It’s almost like she wanted to be in my friend group without me in it. She’s asked me if I was going to invite her to my graduation from grad school in May I said yes. When I followed up with her to see if she was still coming she said she wasn’t sure, then she said she couldn’t make it. The day of my graduation she didn’t even say congratulations via text or call. She simply sent a message on an Instagram post saying “congrats.” For her birthday we went out the country for mine since she’s been so distant and cold I didn’t do anything with her she didn’t wish me a happy birthday until the day after despite knowing it was my birthday. The straw that broke the camels back was when my mom had cancer and I took a social media hiatus. She was supposed to let the friend groupknow in the group chat to pray for her. I noticed nobody ever called. When I got back on there I noticed she never told.

So so correct son every single topic. It’s incredible how much you have learned along the way. I’ve experienced almost all of this and can relate so so much. The fairy is … awesome! Not a lot of people can get to the point of grasping what had happened and learn from it and grow! It’s not easy but worth if if you can do the work! Thank you Fairy! You are truly an inspiration!

These friendships vids are great😊

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Bless you.

i feel like your videos always come at the most convenient time like you read my mind or something

I can relate. It’s time to heed your recommendation and check out the daily practice. 🙏🏼

As a little girl with emotionally unavailable parents all my special friends from the age of 5 moved away or died. Since my husband died 12 years ago I’ve probably over reacted when friends started to use or manipulate me and I’ve left a trail of them behind as I’ve rejected them and moved on. Man, am I messed up! 🙄

Anna, ! Im needing this on Repeat! This is a deep subject of change is possible. . Thanks ❤❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad the video was helpful! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

We don't know any better it's a hard lesson

Ive spent so much time alone that i struggle to speak properly or in a way that is interesting to others. Best i can do now, on the rare occaision that i socilize, is listen and pray that i will teflect back an appropriate response. Sometimes i zone out cant stay present if someone's talking too long. Honesty at this point i can only handle socializing in very short spurts, otherwise i fear others will see how weird i am. I fear they will expect me to be normal. I can only pawn myself off as normal briefly. Then i need to leave.

I have no idea how i have not come across your videos sooner than now. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing this Crappy Childhood Fairy to create these most helpful videos. I highly recommend all of her videos to the entire world in hopes they may all begin healing as I have done to come to a place in our lives that we finally understand ourselves. I knew I wasn't like everyone else, but I always placed it on other things. Funny how we live in a fantasy world only because at that time we definitely had to live in a fantasy world. When you are young that is something we can get away with. But to live in that land all throughout our lives is a little difficult. Childhood drama sometimes neve disappears, I do admit, it was hard to always listen to truth and reality, but once we make our ways through all this crap we have suffered with, the moment does come when we finally can feel the changes occur. Thank you for explaining the most unexplainable.....me. You are the best. You deserve all the likes you get. Thank you forever, Janine Davis Survivor!

Oh man! You said something in this video that got to me, but on the opposite end of the "friendship" situation. It was when you were telling the woman to talk to her "friend", but take all of her CPTSD childhood issues out of the conversation because it was more than anybody can take responsibility for. I had a "friend" on and off from high school into our 30's who was very emotionally abusive throughout our "friendship"- Didn't help that I had my own CPTSD issues that made it easy for me to take his abuse with a smile so he wouldn't know how much he hurt me all the time. But whenever I would stick up for myself or push back at his behavior, he would always throw HIS childhood traumas in my face as an excuse for why he acted the way he did. The behavior didn't change... but he used his trauma almost as a Get Out of Jail Free card. That "understanding" that he had "reasons" for his bad behavior kept me hooked in a lot longer than it should have. I finally broke off the friendship for good many years ago, but have struggled with a lot of latent guilt for dumping someone who had so much they went through as a kid (I mean... so did I... but interesting that my own childhood trauma was never a consideration for him) But you saying to take that out of the conversation as it was more than anybody can take responsibility for- THANK YOU! Again, I have broken off this friendship many years ago, but that phrase right there was the last little snip of the cord that had kept me feeling a bit of guilt for dropping someone who was such a wounded little woobie that he couldn't help himself. But yeah, I didn't cause his bad childhood any more than he caused mine. If we were ever to get past the emotional abuse he heaped on me, he was going to have to stop throwing his baggage in my face. But we didn't and it doesn't matter now. Whatever his motives or impulses to behave that way towards me (and others), it didn't make me feel good and I didn't deserve it and that's reason enough to have dumped him and been done with it! And YAY for me!!!

So many great videos! Thanks so much once again!

Not only friends use you but family too. Their kids are too dumb to help them with their technical stuff and ask me. Now i just throw it in their face and say all that private school money ended well huh! 😂

Ohhhh this is a good one !!! All of your videos are great, I can relate all too well to every one of them but I'm only 5 minutes into this video and I NEED to know how to determine the difference between c-ptsd response and intuition.. it's like I even have trust issues with my own intuition

Thank you!

Thank-you. Have a great day! 🙂

Great video!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you enjoyed :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I was taken advantage of by a lady that I hired to do housework for me. She kept lying to herself about what was professional and not, but she kept mooching and being flaky. I have been generous as a child, but a month ago I spent many days living with my father and I had a new sense of being fair to myself. So, when I came back home I was shocked with how badly she left my home. I had a long talk with her and we decided to not work together anymore. Being both a friend and an employee should have made her better at helping me, but somehow the friend/employee identity was keeping her from being of any help to me. I suggested she take better care of her nutritional health, but some people don't want to know when they are in need of health supplements. They prefer to live in a dream state.

I think I'm pretty happy doing my own thing and I have a lot of interests, so if a "friend" turns on me, ignores me or excludes me, I don't have much problem moving on. I'll think it over and if I didn't do anything wrong, then I figure it is about them and not about me and I don't miss losing them. But I admit it has taken me many years to be at this point.

So many times we let things go to far. And while "technically" the girl didn't do anything wrong, socially she was wrong! I don't care about the "technically" part. Most responses that start with "Technically..." means that something in fact IS wrong and you're just splitting hairs. That girl was a fungus spreading all over those friendships. Eventually they will see the type of person she is.

I think this so-called friend, was definately a 'friend-poacher! I have dealt with many people like this before...they steal your friends and connections, and then leave you feeling left out in the cold. She either sounds like she has a Cluster B personality...or is possibly on the Autism spectrum...desperate for connection...not realising her behaviour is hurting you...(this can be an ASD trait...due to social awkwardness)....Empathy Deficit Disorder, perhaps? I think your gut instinct is pretty spot on here. Just keep being you, and as Anna says...just slowly untangle yourself from her grip. Good luck.

@tb8827

10 ай бұрын

I have autistic children and your generalized statement is both judgemental and unkind. I can assure you slandering the autistic community will not win you friends nor help anyone here seeking support. Since you are visiting a C-PTSD site, I suggest you read Bessel Van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps The Score" as a primer to understand both the internal and external manifestations of trauma. It is easy to follow and explains how trauma changes biology and the reasons why traumatized people exhibit certain behaviours that can be mislabeled as other mental health disorders. The more you learn about brain differences and changes the easier it will be for you to help both yourself and others without smearing entire groups of people. I learned about a person who was doing and saying terrible things which ended with him being ostracized socially. It turned out he had a brain tumour which was only discovered because someone cared enough to ensure all biological issues were ruled out before passing moral judgements. Sometimes it helps to view things through a different lens.

Great video I really thought there was something wrong with me at 46 years old because sometimes I’ve always felt like my mother used me and now I feel like I get tricked by my adult children when it comes to dating every time I meet someone and we converse eight they never want to take me out. They only want to go to bed with me. This is happened numerous times and I do not understand it and it’s to appoint now I just get discouraged and trying to meet someone but I really enjoyed your videos. Thank you so much.

Sounds like she's using OP to find friends so she doesn't have to put in the work. OP can spend several rounds asking that person to set up x, she'll make the plans for when "we" do xyz, or send the person to someplace you won't and don't go see if she shows up looking for the phantom people you said would be there as it does seem like she's grifting into OPs friend & social group in a way that is inauthentic and she maybe using the life coach title as a way to making people off guard but some life coaches aren't life coaches they're narcs & grifters. But there is definitely a great place for boundaries.

On goodness I could’ve almost written that letter 🤯🤦🏽‍♀️

Great idea.

Literally described my situation

Wow! The “friend” described in the letter could be my sister! She too was/is a relationship and friend poacher, especially when she sees how much joy I derive from certain friendships. When I called my sister out on one particular situation, my sister became super irate and said I was jealous. And that it was “ugly” of me to even bring it up. I never heard from my good friend again. My sister continued to visit and travel with that friend; posting pictures on social media! She gossips about me to other friends and relatives who then relay the made-up stories back to me. I really don’t want to keep confronting this sister, who also happens to have CPTSD.

Good advice

Oh geez. I had something similar happen but not quite. A new friend of my former friends snuck in like this. She was always around, and slowly my friends started molding to all her interests which didn't seem to fit with their personalities. If she found out I had plans with them without her, she would ask them if she could come. And she would speak over me the whole time or make plans with them in front of me but not include me. I eventually lost patience and just moved on. She eventually caused so much drama that none of the people are friends anymore.

wow. I heard a answer I didn’t expect. I feel lucky to pick out a blind spot. This shit happen to guy as well.

Many times people take my ideas and make them their own. I don't have a problem about that, but after they turn their back on me. Just one os many examples. I said to a "friend" of mine ti write on article about something he knows well. He didn't respond but staired at me ( by now I know that stare), yet to find some months after the entery on Wikipedia of his article. What didsapointed me is that after that he cut me off . . . That happened quite a few times.

They sense my neediness and instantly know how to use that. Plus I'm a crusader and jump in to make things right automatically/instinctually. I'm getting there. Yes! 13:00 Just step away. 👍 Thanks Anna. 🙂

I'm going trough a similiar situation with the person I called my best friend and soulmate for the past 14 years. it feels as if I have just now started to clearly see all these things about her in the past 3 years. I don't really know how to read the situation because I have also been isolating my lot, so maybe I am overthinking and reading into things - creating "fake" stories in my head out of resentment maybe? but then I look at the facts and it's like: she may not have been doing it intently but she did (or didn't do) certain things regardless. the friendship hasn't felt good for a while now. how do I go about this with someone who has been (aside from my sister) the person closest to me for practically my whole life? I can't just "fade out". that's what I've been basically doing but it feels wrong aswell. like there is some type of closure that needs to happen for the both of us.

@Rockerlady

10 ай бұрын

You can send an email explaining how you feel. They may play the victim though.

Could not agree more

I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I also don't want to be a loner. Jesus calls us to be a part of the community and serve others too. I need to learn to have a healthy balance with boundaries.

Wowza!

She jealous, and the things she does are performative. She seems Histrionic. Somebody needing to be in the center of attention is almost always a bad thing. The more of a hurry they are in to be there, the more likely they are to have a personality disorder. I use the God Father as an example for basically everything. Look at how long it took Don Vito to build his reputation. Many years of toiling, networking, and waiting. Vito had controversial morals, but he did not have a personality disorder. He earned his reputation and defended it. People with personality disorders aren't able to wait. They see something someone else has, and they try to grab it. An example of this would be people like Colleen Ballinger. She seemed nice, so people supported her, even though she had very little talent. She got there fast. She has a personality disorder. Life coaching is a fast career path, and it centers on self-promotion.