Thanks for watching this video. I hope it will shed some light on what you might be experiencing during the time that a loved one is sick and facing the end of their life, and provide you with some solid information on what you can do to make this time a little bit less taxing on your soul. Leave a comment if you are experiencing anticipatory grief and what you've done to make it a more special time for you and your family member.

I’m watching this as my mother is living through later stages of liver disease. My father is always in the fighting mode, trying to find the next big thing that’s going to make her healthier. We all know deep inside that she’s very ill. I’ve been grieving and crying hard and many nights I lay overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. Your video really helped me, especially the part about redefining hope. Lately I’ve been hoping a lot that my mother doesn’t have to go through a lot of pain when things start getting worse for her. To anyone out there experiencing this pain currently: you are not alone.

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

@BeautyBrains&Beans you are definitely not alone. My heart goes out to you and everyone who is in the process of losing their mama.

@marigoldStudio

2 жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear the pain you're going through... wishing you peace, inner calmness and strength to be there for your mom ❤️

My grandfather is dying from Cancer and I only have him and my mother, I have been crying and feeling really strange knowing that I am going to lose him, all I want to do is spend a lot of time helping him in every way possible. I love him and he is my everything. My grandma also died from cancer. I do know that we are here on earth to Experience and learn in order to get us ready for our next life.

I was looking for videos like this because I haven't lost someone close close to me yet. I've lost an aunt, uncle, and good acquaintance but I didn't know them very well. But now, it seems like any month it could be my grandpa who I love so so much. I know death is a part of life, and at some point we all have to learn how to cope with it. I know the best thing I can do is enjoy him now, but tbh it doesn't make it any less painful. I wish I didn't have to see him deteriorate and I wish he wasn't going through all this chronic pain. I wish I could have more time with him and having more memorable moments with him especially now that I can remember more as an adult than a kid. There's just so many emotions to it. If you're also struggling, I'm sending y'all a big internet hug.

@SofiaAmirpoor

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing. Hugs to you ❤️

My mom has always been my person. We're not just mother and daughter--we're soulmates. I'm 28 and I have a 2 year old who absolutely worships my mom...but my mother is dying. They give her a few weeks at most. I'm terrified--I'm so heartbroken. I see my daughter miss my mom and ask for her, not understand why she's not here, why nana can't play...and I cry so much, so hard. I feel like I could puke sometimes I cry so hard. I don't know how to live without my mom. I don't know what to do.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

Sarah, it’s such a hard, hard, sad time. You will be ok. Be strong. Mom needs you. She needs your strength so she can transition with peace. You are one of the fortunate few who have such an incredible bond with your mama. You are both so lucky. My heart is with you dear.

@sarahlennox8963

3 жыл бұрын

@@SofiaAmirpoor Thank you so much, Sofia. I've really been trying not to dwell on the future we know is coming and just trying really hard to be here in the present moment. Thank you so much

@SaltySaltySalty.

2 жыл бұрын

@@sarahlennox8963 I am in the same situation. My mom is my best friend. I cannot stop the tears... any advice? My anticipatory grief is out of control.

@sarahlennox8963

2 жыл бұрын

@@SaltySaltySalty. I kind of just went through the motions and tried not to think. I know that's not helpful, but watching my mother starve to death was excruciating and there was just no getting around it except to not deal with it, I guess. I chose to focus on the time I was spending with her. Near the end of that very, very long month it took for her to finally pass, it was getting so fucking hard I couldn't walk in the room without wanting to run away...but I forced myself to and did exactly that--ignored my present emotions. I kind of forced them aside. Then, once it was all over, I started really grieving. I'm happy I did it that way, because I was able to be with her in the moment. But, I won't lie. the whole situation is messed up. I'm really sorry you have to suffer like this..but wherever you are in the world, I'm with you through this. My heart is with you. I'm sorry you have to watch her suffer like this.

@smilinmoo

2 жыл бұрын

@@sarahlennox8963 I did the same thing when my Dad was dying. It was the only way I could cope.

A remarkably compassionate video with constructive suggestions when caring for a deeply loved parent: anticipatory contentment, re-defining hope, five steps bringing comfort for the dying parent and the adult-child-caregiver.

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying so! I'm glad it was helpful!

its coming be as ready as you can be..be sad,be upset be proud,and be inspired....dont get stuck

@lookingupwithwonder

5 күн бұрын

Emotions = energy in motion. It's gotta be felt eh

Thank you Sofia- this is helpful. Although it seems we will never feel totally prepared for such solemn events - these are definitely great "pointers" to help us lessen the burden. I think what hurts me the most is feeling that I'm going to lose my 92 year old mother soon without ever being able to help her through so much past trauma & grief which is making each passing day more difficult & depressing to her. Yet, God does know that I'm trying my best & I am still so grateful for the moments when she seems to be a little more comfortable & somewhat pleased (outdoors on warm sunny day, etc.). Sending much gratitude, love & blessings! ❤🙏💕

Redefining hope caused a really interesting change of mind in me. Thank you

I know you uploaded this video 4 years ago. I just wanted you to know that in 2024, it helped another person. It won't be any easier, but it puts it in a different light. So I just wanted to say, Thank you.

@SofiaAmirpoor

Ай бұрын

Thank you! I’m glad that it’s helpful for you!

@Conta85869

Ай бұрын

@@SofiaAmirpoor I know you normally give advice to people about humans, but I am losing my pet dog, and a lot of the same things apply. Luckily I have my amazing wife to help me through it. So from Me, Michelle and out elderly very sick dog Freya. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Also you helped me look at Hope differently with my loved ones and also strangers. So that being said, I hope you are happy, and get all the happiness you disserve.

As a new bereavement counselor this was helpful to me to be able to share another perspective to patient caregivers as they anticipate the loss of a loved one.

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

@TruthAndReasonW I’m really glad you found this helpful! Keep up the great work, you have a difficult, but such an important, job!

We shouldnt be "counteracting" it we should be feeling it. And finding the right support and finding the right ways to express it....crying/ drawing /journalling.......ect.....

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

Serena, you are so right! Those things are also so important, so thank you for mentioning them!!

@lookingupwithwonder

5 күн бұрын

It's just the word "counteracting". Maybe healing would be a better word ❤❤

Thank you so much for this video 🙏 I really appreciate your redefining of hope - that is something I’ve been struggling with.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! I'm glad it helped!

My dad has stage 4 of congestive heart failure so I think I might go to therapy since the life expectancy for stage 4 is less than 6 months and so I just wanted to watch some videos before I asked my mom about what we could do to help me. This helped a lot thank you

I’m 28 and my grandad has just been diagnosed with cancer in his lungs, bones, brain and spine. He has very little time left. He’s in hospital and due to COVID restrictions. Our family can’t see him. He is my best friend and I’m struggling to come to terms with this. I’m avoiding the emotions inside me due to the fact I want to be there for my Gran. I’m just so angry all the time now and I don’t know what to do

Thankyou so much, been feeling overwhelmed and so scared. Seeing my mum deteriate and be in pain. My family and I are all reacting in different ways. For me I try to be strong and do the practical things for my mum alongside my 3 younger sisters. We have had a few pictures and a laugh but there has been tears too. Especially when my mum is so scared and having panic attacks. It's all so draining but your right about hope. The small things we can do to brighten her day both emotionally and practically is most important. I tell her I love her always. This has really calmed me down thankyou x x x

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry about what you and your family and your mom are going through. I’m glad this helped just a little.

Thank you Sofia for your wisdom and well thought out videos full of compassion and practicality. I live far away from my mom, half way across the world and it's been 25 years since we've been together like before (i had to move away as I got married)... I adore mom... she's in her 80's now and I can see changes in her behavior, which I'm attributing to cognitive decline, and maybe also me living far away ... it's really hard for me as I feel guilty of not being there for her in her old age... now she's closer to my siblings who live closer to her but that makes me feel alienated and further removed from her despite my wanting to be closer to her specially now. Sorry, I may not be making much sense as I'm not probably explaining it too well... but I hope you get the point . Thanks again 🙏❤️🙏

Thank you for this video, it's really helpful 💙

i cried when i heard your post thank you ,im struggling for dad, hes not got long

@bredin9199

5 ай бұрын

hope all is well , going through this now ❤

Such a great video. Very helpful. Thank you Sofia :-) I will be visiting this video as much as I need to.

My FiL is terminal with a day or 2 to live at most. This video is really helpful especially your last point, thank you

Very helpful I needed this.

Thank you for this. I’m currently going through this. My father is a disabled veteran and has just been diagnosed with dementia. Not to mention several other health problems. It’s so difficult to see but you are right and I’m going to do everything in my power to let him know he is loved dearly before he leaves this earth.

@SofiaAmirpoor

Жыл бұрын

Hi Lora, I’m sending you and your dad hugs

@freakyfairy104

Жыл бұрын

@@SofiaAmirpoor thank you

So helpful, thank you

Merry Christmas Sofia. Thank you so much for this information 🙏

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

@Roger B you’re very welcome! Merry Christmas!

i’m watching this video since my grandma was diagnosed with covid today. thank you for making this

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that Oliver. My thoughts are with you

@O7iver

3 жыл бұрын

coming back to say that she’s made a full recovery! it was super unexpected as she’s 91 years old but i am so grateful to say that she is covid-free :) this video was still super helpful to me, please keep doing what you’re doing

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

Oliver, that's amazing news about your grandma! So happy to hear that!

Great video. I have been a Hospice Nurse/Manager for many years and you really provided education and helpful interventions. Thank you!

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

Wow! Thanks Jill! I really appreciate your feedback! And thanks for all that you do for your patients!

Your videos have been a lifeline for me. My mom is in the hospital and my dad in a nursing home. Can you do do a video on if funeral expenses should be prepaid? A video on whether or not to discuss with your elderly parent what things are costing ie their care facilities cost etc. Thank you

@SofiaAmirpoor

4 жыл бұрын

Wow! Thanks Kari, I’m so glad that my videos are helping you! Those are great topics and funeral expenses and options is definitely on my radar. I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with both parents at the same time, I’m sure that’s so hard, especially now. Let me know if I can help provide support. May I ask you a question? I’m working on a website for family caregivers....may I use your first line of your comment as a quote? It’s ok if you’re not comfortable with that.

Thank you

This is EXACTLY what I am going though. My mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer and with each step forward I am getting more and more depressed.

Thank you. 💛

@SofiaAmirpoor

4 жыл бұрын

You’re so welcome. I hope it helps.

My mom has a little time left. She has dementia, crazy thing is. On Thanksgiving day last year, I heard a voice loud and clear in my ear, it said that, that would be her last Thanksgiving 😭 Now She is towards the end. Last Thanksgiving she was healthy. But I knew we'd be here now. How can I be strong for myself, as well as my siblings who are in complete denial. I've actually had a year to process this.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry your family is going through this, Eve. I would consider you fortunate that you have had the opportunity to process this for the past year, and have assumedly made the best of this time. As for your siblings...you can love them, but you can't change how they feel. Don't forget that denial has a purpose...to protect them from what they are not yet ready to handle. Your mom will progress regardless of what any of her children feel about it. You can only control you. You can't control what's going on with your mom or how your siblings are feeling. They will have to go through their own personal journey of losing your mom. Just be there for them, wherever they may be emotionally, without judgement. This can be a time to come together and hopefully not a time for separation, your mom would probably not like that. My best wishes are going out to you and your family.

Thank you.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

I'm taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's dementia stage 5 to she's obese and bedbound, and taking care of my brother who's had cancer and all sorts of health issues hypoglycemia, diabetes, they both have stage 3 kidney disease, and doing all by myself 24/7. And there's all sorts of meds meals laundry.. I would not put them in a nursing home. My sister who is older than me, is not helping at all she doesn't offer to help me say how come help you because she has her own you know she has a epilepsy. But she's not there for emotional support she doesn't try to say okay. She ordered the wrong supplies, she doesn't get them on time, she ignores my phone calls, shut your phone off, and I have no control of money I have no transportation and they cannot be left alone. And I'm watching this all by myself both of them go away slowly and I'm trying to bring them back and they can't do what I ask them to do and they they won't do that to do it's hard. And I have no time to go anywhere and do anything no time I get short of breath I'm crying all the time I can't bring it everything has to be done at the same time the dinner the dog the laundry and everything everything the commodes the urinal

What if your loved one suddenly experiences two life threatening events that could result in a life saving surgery that poses a big risk for death? One week they are fine and taking long walks and the next they are in the ICU, mind slowly encumbered by confusion. This person is my whole world. I expected thirty years with them, and now I have to come to the terms with the fact that I may never see them again, hear their voice, their laughter, their anecdotes and unconditional love. I simply can't imagine life without them and I am so young, still a teenager. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I don't want them to leave.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

Callie, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. The suddenness of your situation makes it so different, but at the same time a bit the same. Some things are out of your control, so focus on what you can control like loving thoughts and words, prayers and being there when they need you, focused on them. I hope you have a strong support network to talk to and go through this with. As a teen your friends may not be able to provide the support and understanding that you need right now, it's not their fault, they've mostly not experienced this before. Seek out a trusted adult or online group to talk to. My thoughts are with you dear.

@graphgiraffe

6 ай бұрын

I don't have any advice but I just want to say, Hi Callie, I hope you're doing well. That sounds really, really hard, and I know this reply is 3 years late, but I wanted to let you know I'm rooting for you no matter how tough things are. Have a wonderful day.

New subscriber. Thank you.

@SofiaAmirpoor

5 ай бұрын

Awesome, thank you!

Thank you SO much for this Video. A few days ago, my loved one was told he’s going to die - and I can’t bear it... I realise I am grieving before he is gone (Anticipatory Grief) I am overwhelmed with guilt; I don’t seem to be able to think or concentrate on any good times we might have had - only the times we fell out, and/or I said horrible things when he used to ignore me when I was in distress... How will I ever come to terms with this? I can only see one way out when he is gone... I already said sorry, asked his forgiveness, told him I love him more than anyone, and told him that none of it was his fault - and I meant every word, but I don’t feel any better... What’ll I do? Please help!

💙

My Dad recently told me more then harsh words while being under the influence of liquor I've been feeling so sad and hopeless I'd say it feels as if im always super tired like i just woke up or i am going to bed is this normal with grief?

@SofiaAmirpoor

4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Sometimes harsh words can hurt so much more than a slap in the face, and the hurt lasts longer. I can't say whether what you are feeling is grief, it might be, since you can be grieving the lost of your relationship with your dad, or grieving the loss of a father image that we all have in our head. There is also much in the world to be sad and hopeless over today, so it could also be a combination of many things making you feel that way. But it might also be something physical going on with you that is causing you to feel tired and low energy. I'd recommend you talk to a physician and get checked out. If physically, you are found to be ok, then consider talking to a therapist or counselor about how you are feeling. You might want to look at this video about being a caregiver for an abusive parent. kzread.info/dash/bejne/q6CarLChpqjMgbA.html Good luck to you.

Thank you for uploading this video, especially during periods of high stress associated with the coronavirus pandemic. My grandmother sustained a very serious fall yesterday and she's 90 years old with advanced stage dementia. Her other ailments include congestive heart failure, hypertension, and diabetes. She suffered a broken nose and a head injury that resulted in an aneurysm in the brain. The doctor said it's only mild, yet if they cannot stabilize the bleeding in the brain, then we'll have no choice but to send her to hospice.

@SofiaAmirpoor

3 жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry, what a stressful time! Use this time wisely. My thoughts are with you.

It's purgatory

What if this person is on the verge of suicide because of a chronic illness and he has been turned down by too many doctors that he can't seem to find any hope anymore, do I understand the suffering he is going through and just let him do it or do I just support his decision and make him have just good last days ? Please help me I'm in so much pain to think of what's the right thing to do

@SofiaAmirpoor

4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that you are both in this position. You sound very caring. I'm sorry that I can't hand you a "right answer", but perhaps you could talk to a therapist who could help you both, or perhaps hospice or palliative care is an option. One day, hour, minute at a time dear friend.

@nul7009

4 жыл бұрын

@@SofiaAmirpoor but he is living in a completely different country and it's long distance so I can't even be there for him, I know this is a really difficult dilemma but I'm so desperate for thoughts on what I should do, the thing is though that we can't go to therapy or anything because as I said we are long distance, thanks for your care enough to respond it's a really great video though I'm glad you are helping desperate poor people, this is an act of kindness I'm proud of you

@SofiaAmirpoor

4 жыл бұрын

Definitely complicated. Let him know you care, give him the suicide hotline # in his area. And there are therapists who work virtually via video chat. And take a deep breath and know that you can’t control everything or everybody. As humans we can hardly control our own little world, let alone everyone else’s little world. I wish you both to find peace.

@nul7009

4 жыл бұрын

@@SofiaAmirpoor thanks a lot, I'll take your advice in consideration for sure, maybe if I can't save him from ending his life I'd at least be with him so that he wouldn't feel so lonely, thanks again

Thank you

@SofiaAmirpoor

2 жыл бұрын

Welcome!